Free! For the Future
by LuckE1
Summary: "I hope swimming with me makes you even the slightest bit happy," she said. Makoto's eyes widened, feeling a hum in his chest as he stared back at her. Her deep blue eyes met his, and he felt his heart begin to race. He felt that he could get lost in those eyes, and he wished that this moment could last forever. Future AU following the team after nationals. Makoto-centered.
1. Chapter 1

Free! For the Future

Chapter 1

The water is alive. Once you dive in, it will immediately bare its fangs and attack.

But, there's nothing to fear. Don't resist the water. Thrust your fingers into the surface and carve an opening. Then you slide your body through that opening. Moving your arms, your head, your chest…

Even when you feel at the brink of exhaustion, of death…

You keep going. You keep fighting. You keep pursuing.

For the future.

* * *

A small, slender body pushed through the water, their arms gracefully attacking the surface and plunging underneath. Water droplets flung into the air with the sun sparkling through them. Their arms finally reach the wall, and their head lifts to the sky with a heaving chest. Reaching up, they clumsily pulled off their goggles and cap, allowing long, black hair to flow by their shoulders. Their deep blue eyes stared up at the sky, and they took a deep breath.

And she smiled.

* * *

"There, all done," Makoto said as he unpacked the last box. He rested his hands on his hips and glanced around the bedroom. His new apartment was anything but fancy, but it was cozy enough. Just outside the center of downtown Tokyo, the two-bedroom apartment was a little far from his university. But, the rent was on the cheaper end, and he was hopeful in finding a new roommate to help out.

Makoto sighed and plopped down on his newly made bed, staring at the white ceiling. He brought an arm up to his face to cover his eyes.

 _Classes start tomorrow,_ he thought. A flutter hummed nervously inside his chest at the thought. _I wonder how Haru is doing…_

A sudden buzz from his pocket immediately snapped him out of his thoughts. He reached inside of his pocket and answered his phone.

"Hello?" Makoto answered.

"Onii-chan!"

"Hey, Onii-chan!"

Makoto felt his flutter dissipate once he heard Ran and Ren's voices over the phone. A smile crept onto his face and he sat up from his bed.

"Ran! Ren! What are you guys doing?" Makoto asked. He stood up from his bed and moved to his desk, eyeing the pictures that rested neatly in a line.

"Mom said we should call to see if you are all settled in!" Ran said proudly.

"When are you coming home?" Ren whined.

"I already told you that Onii-chan has to study hard now, didn't I?" Ran argued.

"Now, now," Makoto said, unconsciously raising his one hand to calm them. "Tell mom I'm settled in and fine. And I'll visit as soon as I can."

"Yay!" they both squeaked.

"Okay, you two be good. I've got some stuff to do."

"Aww. Okay."

"Bye, Onii-chan!"

"Bye!"

Makoto hit the "end" button his phone, and took a deep breath. With a nervous smile pulling on his lips, he scrolled down his contact list until he got to "H" and then pressed send.

"Hello?" came a groggy voice after four rings.

"Ah, Haru!" Makoto's cheerful voice responded a little too loudly. "Are you in the middle of practice?"

"Just finished."

Makoto smiled. He was happy that Haru had found a dream. He had decided to attend a university in Tokyo as well, joining their swim team. Haru had left earlier than Makoto for team tryouts and practice. He had been too busy to hang out, and Makoto was surprised he even answered his phone.

"Ah, want to get dinner?" Makoto asked. "I can be by your campus in a little while."

Haru hummed, "Sure."

When Makoto arrived at the campus, he headed straight for the university's pool. It had been a little while since he and Haru had gotten together, and he felt a wave of giddiness erupt in his chest. A wide grin was plastered on his face as he headed towards the gate. But, as soon as he made it to the gate, his smile faltered.

"Ah, nice job today, Nanase!"

"Ah, thanks."

"Same time tomorrow, Nanase-san?"

"Yeah."

A few people from Haru's swim team were gathered around him, all with smiles on their faces. Haru's face was emotionless as usual as he stood with one hand in his pocket and the other holding onto his phone.

"Say, Haru," one of the taller swimmers began. He was taller than Haru, maybe even Makoto's height. Haru tilted his head to look up at him. "If you keep up those times, you'll make it big. Maybe even make it to the Olympics next year."

Makoto felt his heart jump. Haru in the Olympics?

 _That would be so cool…_ Makoto thought.

"Sure," Haru said and he glanced down at his phone.

"You've been anxious today," the tall swimmer chuckled. Haru looked away from his gaze.

"Not really," Haru responded.

The taller swimmer laughed and tilted his head slightly.

"Right, Right. Okay, Haru, see you later."

Makoto felt a jolt in his chest. _Haru? Had he called him Haru? How close were they exactly?_ Several thoughts plagued Makoto's mind as he watched the tall swimmer walk away.

"Bye."

Makoto remained frozen in place, watching Haru from the gate. A dull pain ached his chest as he told himself to move. _Move forward. Go._

After a deep breath, he forced one foot out in front of him and he walked towards his friend. He a nervous smile forced its way onto his face and he lifted his hand in a wave.

"Haru!" Makoto called.

Haru glanced up from his phone, his deep blue eyes locking with Makoto's. His face softened and his shoulders seemed to slump in relief.

"You're here early," Makoto said nervously. He rubbed the back of his neck.

"No, you were late," Haru retorted as he pushed his phone into his pocket.

"Eh?!"

Haru huffed quietly. His lips moved into a straight line across his face with the ends curling upward slightly. _Was he laughing?_

"It's good to see you, Makoto," Haru said.

Makoto's face lit up and his green eyes sparkled brightly. He tilted his head and a genuine smile appeared on his face.

"Same to you," Makoto said. "Shall we get going?"

Haru nodded and they left to find a nearby restaurant. After taking their seats, Makoto started his usual chatter, and Haru listened intently as usual. Haru look relaxed, his arm resting on the table while his other hand held a glass of water. After a few minutes of catching up, Makoto thought back to the scene from the pool gate. His smile faltered slightly and he stared down into his cup of tea.

"So I see you've made new friends," Makoto started. He kept his smile on his face.

"Ah," Haru hummed. "They're from the team."

"Oh yeah?" Makoto said. "You getting pretty close to them?"

 _Like the one who called you Haru and not Nanase?_

Makoto frowned at his own jealous thought and his thumb stroked the handle of his cup.

"I guess," Haru responded. Makoto could not help but chuckle at his response.

"That's so like you," Makoto said, a small smile returning his face.

"Is that so?" Haru said, looking away.

There was a brief pause.

"So have you made any new friends yet?" Haru asked.

Makoto put his cup down and stared up him, his eyes widened and his lips slightly parted. Makoto had been at his new apartment for two weeks, attending orientations and freshmen seminar classes. He had met several of the other incoming university students, and even those within his major, but never had the courage to speak to any of them personally. A sudden wave of panic ascended into his chest as he stared back down at his cup, peering into his own distorted reflection with the brown liquid. He forced a smile on his face.

"Ah, well…" Makoto rubbed the back of his neck. "Not yet, but I'll meet new people in my classes this week."

Haru's eyebrows lowered slightly and he pursed his lips.

"Don't worry about me, Haru!" Makoto said, trying to widen his smile. "Anyway, who was your tall friend from the team?"

"Oh," Haru started. "He's my roommate."

"Oh, in your dorm, huh?"

"Why didn't you live in the dorms? You probably could've made friends easier that way."

"Yeah, well, my parents couldn't afford all of my tuition. So I offered to pay for my own place. I've already found a part time job."

Haru stared at Makoto, his brows furrowed and lips pressed tightly together.

"Don't overwork yourself," Haru commented.

Makoto frowned slightly and his eyes widened. After a moment, he gave Haru a smile.

"I wont."

The next morning, Makoto promptly got himself up early and ready for the first day of classes. Brandished with his new laptop, notebooks, backpack, and glasses, he headed for his first class. After the long commute, he finally arrived on campus and headed towards the building. His first class would start at 8:30 sharp. He walked in the open door and saw a large classroom that resembled an amphitheater. There were stairs along the sides that led to the long desks and chairs. Several students were already in their seats with notebooks out on their desks. After observing the room one last time, Makoto walked over to one set of stairs and climbed a few rows up to an empty row of chairs.

After taking his seat, he pulled out a notebook and sat stiffly in his chair. He put on his glasses and stared down at the white board and teacher's podium. Several more students walked in and found seats across the room. One student walked up to Makoto's row and saw down next to him. Makoto turned to him to greet him, but stopped when he realized he had headphones covering his ears. Makoto's eyes flitted back to the white board below, feeling his shoulders tense.

Within the next few minutes, the room was full except for a few seats in the row behind Makoto. The door opened and the professor walked in. He greeted the class with a dry hello and started to set up his belongings for class.

The professor immediately began the lecture, and the students were furiously taking notes as he went. Makoto felt his pulse drop to a steady hum in his chest, the rhythm finally beginning to settle.

Ten minutes into the lecture had passed when the door suddenly slammed open. The professor's jaw clammed shut and he turned his head sharply towards the door. The rest of the class craned their necks towards the door.

A short student wearing a white tracksuit and black hoodie entered the room. Their hood was pulled up over their head, making it impossible for Makoto to see their face clearly. They sheepishly held on to their straps of their backpack and a purple duffle bag and they ascended the staircase nearest to Makoto.

"You there!" the professor shouted.

The person jumped and whirled around, facing the professor. They bowed deeply.

"S-S-Sorry I'm late!"

Makoto felt his heart leap in his chest. Their voice was feminine. He stared at the figure as they straightened. The hood fell slid off of their head, revealing long, black hair that was pulled back into a ponytail.

 _Whoa, a girl. Wonder why she's late…_

Water droplets slid down her cheeks and neck, as well as her hair.

 _Her hair is wet?_

Makoto glanced out the window and saw that the sun was still shining in the bright blue sky.

 _It's not raining though…_

"Don't interrupt my class again!"

Makoto snapped out of his thoughts and turned back towards the girl standing on the staircase. The professor below was fuming.

"Y-Yes, sir!"

The girl turned around and Makoto was finally able to get a good look at her face. His eyes immediately were drawn to hers. She had deep, blue eyes that shined like the ocean, and she had an aura of determination that glowed around her as she walked.

She ascended the stairs with haste, water falling off of her head as she made it to the empty seat in the row behind Makoto. Makoto eyed her as she took her seat and sighed.

The professor resumed his lecture and all of the students immediately gave him their attention, their hands grabbing their pencils or typing away at their laptops. Makoto also started to write some notes, but his eyes kept pulling back at the girl in the row behind him. She was frantically trying to get organized on her desk space, dropping a pencil in the row in front of her. The guy in front of her slowly bent over to pick up the pencil and he leaned back to hand it to her. She gave an apologetic smile and grabbed the pencil from the boy's grasp.

"Thanks," she whispered as she wiped her wet bangs from her forehead.

Makoto listened to the quiet, silvery voice that escaped her lips. A small chill shot through his spine, sending tingles up his back. He turned his head back towards the board and focused on the lesson.

The next time the class met, Makoto was early once again and sat at his same spot near the back. The room filled quickly and the professor waltzed in to begin his lecture.

And after ten minutes of lecturing, the door slammed open and in walked the girl in the same white tracksuit with a black hoodie. Her black hair was dripping with water and she was out of breath, her hand clutching the doorway as she panted. Her backpack was barely on her shoulders and her purple duffle bag was on the ground. After receiving a few harsh glances from the professor and some students, she quickly made her way back up to an empty seat.

Once class had ended, Makoto stood from his seat and glanced back at the girl. Her head was on her desk, with her eyes closed.

 _She's asleep?! If she keeps this up, she'll have a hard time passing the class…_

Makoto felt his stomach twist painfully at the thought of failing a class. He packed up his things and left the classroom, feeling a slight twinge of guilt for leaving the girl sleeping the emptying classroom.

* * *

Within the first two weeks, Makoto found his routine. He would go to class during the day, and at night he would go to work.

On the weekends, he would hop on a train and go to the other side of Tokyo to hang out Haru and watch him swim. He had a Spring meet coming up and wanted to be in top shape. This prompted Makoto to suit up as well and swim a few laps.

He was still looking for a roommate in his apartment, the one empty bedroom at the end of the hall haunting him as he passed by it every morning, but tried his best to ignore it. Haru would always ask every weekend if he'd found a roommate yet, eliciting a nervous response out of Makoto who'd promise he would soon.

Makoto's other classes were going as well as he had expected. The homework load was beginning to pile, but he took a deep breath and kept plugging along, determined to get his degree so he can get his dream job and teach kids how to swim.

And, as usual, on his three-days-a-week class, that same black-haired girl would show up late and soaked only to fall asleep halfway through class. Makoto raised a brow at her as he stood to leave the classroom that Friday morning.

 _She seems like someone who wouldn't get their work done_ , he thought. He thought it best to steer clear of her, punishing himself for having such negative thoughts. As the students were beginning to leave, the professor caught everyone's attention, even waking the girl from her peaceful slumber in the row behind him.

"Starting next week, I will be locking the door at 8:30. If you are late, you will miss class," he announced, and he briskly left the room.

Makoto felt a jolt of panic in his chest. He glanced back one row and saw the black-haired girl's eyes widen. Her hands curled into nervous fists as she stared hard at her desk.

After a long weekend at Haru's, Makoto missed his train and had to wait an extra half hour to get home. He stayed up late to catch up on his homework, falling asleep on his desk sometime around two in the morning. His phone, which was still on silent, mutely rang for his alarm for that Monday morning.

Makoto woke up to the sun shining in his room. He raised his head from his desk and glanced around.

"What time is it?" he asked himself, still exhausted from the lack of sleep. Makoto glanced down at his watch and he suddenly felt his exhaustion flee from his body. It was almost eight, just thirty minutes until his class. "Oh, no no no!"

Makoto sprang up from his seat, his chair falling backwards. He scrambled to gather his things, his heart racing. Once his backpack was full, he ran out of his apartment and sprinted down the street.

 _I can't believe I overslept!_ Makoto thought as he raced towards the right building. _This class is important for my degree too!_

Makoto glanced down at his watch, feeling some panic rise into his chest. Only a few minutes left until the professor would lock the door. He bolted into the building and saw the open door at the middle of the hall.

 _Almost there, almost there!_

Just as he was about to enter the classroom, a small figure ran out in his path. Makoto tried to stop himself, but it was too late.

Makoto ran into the other student and lost his balance, falling backwards. He dropped his backpack and its contents spilled out onto the floor. Some papers fluttered in the air before crashing down beside him. A huge sense of guilt and worry flooded his core and he had completely forgotten about his class. He sat upright and glanced at the small student who had also collapsed onto the floor. His eyes widened. Black hair. White tracksuit. Black hoodie. Purple duffle bag. Blue eyes that shined like the ocean.

 _It's that girl who's always late!_

She sat up quickly and stared up at Makoto.

"Oh, no!" Makoto started, putting his hands up. "Are you—"

"I am SO sorry!" the girl blurted. She frantically bowed to him, her wet, black hair falling into her face. "I wasn't looking where I was going and I was trying to be on time for class! I'm really sorry!"

"No, no!" Makoto felt heat rise in his face as he put his hands up defensively. He waved his hands in a panic. "It was my fault, too!"

She peeked her head up from the floor and glanced up at him. He could almost see his reflection in her blue eyes. He stared at her, feeling himself lost in her intense gaze.

Suddenly, the door to the classroom slammed shut, snapping Makoto out of his trance. He scrambled to his feet and stared at the shut door, his thoughts and heart both racing at full speed.

"Oh, no! We're too late!" Makoto whined. He sighed and hung his head.

"I'm sorry," a mumbled apology left the girl's lips. Makoto spun around and saw that she was sitting up, her eyes focused on the floor. "If I hadn't run into you, you wouldn't be late."

Makoto put up his hands, ready to reach out to comfort her. "W-Wait, don't apologize! It was an accident!"

Suddenly, the girl's head shot up and she stared hard at him. "Let me make it up to you!" she blurted. Makoto's hands rested by his side, confused by her sudden change in mood. He watched as she hopped to her feet and rested her hands on her hips. His eyes widened when he realized that the top of her head only came up to his chest.

 _Could she be shorter than Nagisa?!_

"Have you had breakfast yet?" she asked.

"Uh, no, but—"

"Then I'm treating you!"

She gave him a wide, genuine smile, and her blue eyes sparkled against the light of the hallway. As if entranced, Makoto's head nodded as he followed her out of the building.

"So, what's your name?" she asked, her eyes locking with his.

"Tachibana Makoto," Makoto said. He was surprised that he was able to get his name out without stuttered or fumbling over his words.

"Ah, Makoto. That's a nice name!" The way his name escaped her lips made his chest swell and his heart jolt. "I'm Shizumi Kanade."

 _Kanade…_

"Nice to meet you, Shizumi-san," Makoto said with a smile. He pondered what made talking to her so easy. Was it her eyes? Her smile?

"You too, Tachibana-kun!" she flashed him a big smile. "You're not usually late," she said, leading him towards a local café.

"Oh, uh… I slept in," Makoto chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh, I hope you didn't get hurt from the fall earlier!"

The girl waved her hand and smiled. "Nah, I'm pretty solid!" She flexed her arm. Makoto's smile widened and he laughed softly. The girl was nicer than he thought. "I always try to get to class on time, but I always get caught up in my training in the mornings."

Makoto paused, thinking carefully. _Tracksuit, sleeping in class, duffle bag, wet hair…_

"Training?" Makoto asked. Kanade stopped in front of the café, her hand on the door. "What kind of training?"

Kanade blinked, her lips slightly parted. Then she flashed a small smile and lifted up her duffle bag. It had the school's logo and the word's "Ladies Swim Team" written in white on the side.

"I'm on the university's swim team," she said, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly.

Makoto's eyes widened, feeling a hum in his chest as he stared back at her. Her deep blue eyes met his, and he felt his heart begin to race. He felt that he could get lost in those eyes, and he wished that this moment could last forever.

* * *

Haru rubbed his wet hair with a towel as he walked back into his dorm room. Letting the towel rest on his shoulders, he walked to his bed. Before he could lay his head on his pillow, his phone buzzed loudly on his desk. Haru sighed and got out of bed, his brows furrowed in annoyance. He glanced at the screen.

 _1 New Message_

 _Makoto_

Haru raised his brows and opened the text.

 _Hey Haru! I hope training went well today._

Typical Makoto, Haru thought. Meddling, annoying, caring, sweet Makoto. He scrolled down the text and felt his chest leap.

 _I met someone new today! And guess what? She's on the swim team here!_

Haru paused, staring at the words on the screen.

She?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

* * *

"That's it! Go, go, go!"

"Nagisa-kun! Don't run around the pool! You're going to—"

"Waaaah!"

Nagisa slipped and fell into the pool with a loud splash. He quickly swam to the surface and popped his head above the water, loud laughter escaping his lungs. A first-year excitedly swam over to meet him, a huge smile on his face. After a few words, Nagisa started to splash water on him, causing the first-year to burst into laughter as well.

"Nagisa-kun!" Rei called from the starting blocks. "Na-gi-sa-kun!" Rei called louder. Nagisa continued to splash his teammate in the lane. Rei sighed and his face contorted into worried expression. "We really need to practice…"

Gou approached him from behind, carrying notebooks and a clipboard. She glanced up at Rei and flashed him a smile.

"You're acting more like the captain, Rei-kun," Gou said, standing next to him. Rei sighed and glanced at her.

"Ah, thank you, Gou-san, but you know I could never hold that position," Rei said quietly.

"You think Nagisa-kun is doing a better job?" Gou asked with a raised brow.

At that moment, Nagisa waved his arms in the air from the far end of the pool, grabbing Gou and Rei's attention. He took a few steps back, and then ran forward, doing a backflip into the middle lane. The first-year near him laughed and started clapping. Rei placed his hand over his face while Gou pouted. She glanced at Rei.

"No worries, Rei-kun," Gou said. "Coach Sasabe should be here soon."

"Ooh, Goro-chan is coming?!"

Nagisa came bouncing over to both of them, water dripping from his shoulders.

"You're lucky it's so warm today, Nagisa-kun," Rei managed to say. "And we should really start training. I've studied all the theories about teaching new techniques and—"

"You worry too much, Rei-chan!" Nagisa beamed. He turned his head to look at the new recruits and his voice got gentler. "I just wanted to get the new members to feel welcome. Make them feel like part of the team, you know?"

Rei's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. Gou also stared at him amazed.

"Nagisa-kun…" Rei stammered. He smiled at him, feeling a sense of pride swell in his chest.

"I guess this is why Makoto-senpai picked him to be captain, huh?" Gou whispered to Rei. Rei glanced at her quickly, giving her a nod before turning back towards the pool. "Isn't it exciting? We gained three new members. That's even more than we had last year!" Gou said to them both. Both Nagisa and Rei nodded in agreement.

"I am a little worried though," Nagisa said suddenly. Rei's smile disappeared as Nagisa turned his head back towards them wearing a worried smile. "Dai-chan seems to be having trouble fitting in."

Rei and Gou stared out at the three new swimmers in the pool. Two of them were standing in the middle of the pool, talking and laughing together. The third sat on the edge of the pool, staring hard at the water as he swirled his foot around. His face was contorted into a frustrated expression.

"Oh, Dai-kun," Gou mumbled, her face twisting with worry. "I heard he was really good at his middle school, but he didn't want to continue in high school. He was forced to join here," she whispered.

"Forced? That's not a great start," Rei said, his brows furrowing. "Maybe Coach Sasabe could help?" Rei suggested. Nagisa let out a nervous laugh and he rubbed the back of his head.

"Don't you think Goro-chan might scare him off?" Nagisa said. "I think Dai-chan might need a different kind of encouragement."

The three stood silently for a moment, each thinking of different ways to help Dai, their elusive new member. Then, Gou snapped her fingers and shot her head up, a new sense of determination in her eyes.

"Oh!" she said, causing Rei and Nagisa to glance at her. "What if we invite Makoto-senpai and Haruka-senpai back to help during their summer break? Even then, we'll still have a month to train until regionals."

"Ooh, Mako-chan and Haru-chan! That would be so fun!" Nagisa shouted, his hands curling into excited fists.

"That would definitely be helpful! With Haruka-senpai's new rigorous training, maybe he can inspire the new members!" Rei exclaimed. "And Makoto-senpai can help with Dai-kun."

"That's a great idea!" Nagisa yelled.

"Then it's settled," Gou said, nodding in satisfaction. "I will contact them right away."

"Yes! Summer reunion!" Nagisa shouted.

"This will be my chance to show my improvement on my butterfly technique, also!" Rei shouted, his hands resting on his hips proudly.

"Oi, why are you all just lazing about?"

The three turned around and saw Goro standing at the gate, his hands on his hips and a stern look on his face.

"Uh, oh, let's hope summer comes soon," Nagisa whispered to Gou and Rei.

"We need to start training!" Goro shouted. "Let's meet the new members, shall we?"

* * *

"You're on the swim team?!" Makoto asked, his eyes lighting up as he stared at her from across the table. They were in a small café close to campus.

"Yep!" Kanade replied, taking a sip of her water. She flashed him another smile.

"Oh, that explains the wet hair every day, then," Makoto said, pointing at her head.

A little color rose to her cheeks as she tugged on the edge of her ponytail. "Y-Yeah, well, I don't really have time to dry off after morning practice."

"Are you training to be an Olympian?" Makoto asked.

Kanade looked up at him and let go of her ponytail. "Yeah! Our coach is pretty tough, but he's one of the best."

"Is that like… your major, or…?"

"Oh, well, sort of," Kanade responded. "I'm kinda taking classes that relate to sports medicine. I'm really into that, but my dream is to swim at the Olympic level."

"Oh, that's amazing! I'm sure it's a lot of work."

"Oh yeah, it is. But I love it!" Kanade paused to take a drink of water. "So, Tachibana, were you in any sports in high school?"

Makoto nodded. "I was on the swim team in my high school!" Makoto said eagerly.

Kanade's face lit up, a new sense of determination returning to her eyes. She stood slightly and slammed her hands on the table, her eyes locking with his. "No way!" she shouted. Her voice was full of excitement. Makoto chuckled and nodded. Her energy reminded him of Nagisa. "What was your stroke?" she asked as she sat back down.

"Back," Makoto replied.

"Ooh, I knew it!" Kanade said, raising her hand to her chin. She gave a cheeky grin with twinkling eyes. "You've got the shoulder and back muscles for it!"

Makoto felt heat rise to his cheeks. Oh great, now she almost sounded like Gou. "Ah, t-thank you." Makoto rubbed the nape of his neck nervously. "What about you? What's your stroke?"

"Ah, well, the swim team really wants us to be versatile in all strokes, so I am familiar with all of them. Boy, it took me a while to nail butterfly! It's hard to do that stroke beautifully," Kanade said with a chuckle.

 _Rei would agree with you_. Makoto smiled to himself at the thought.

"But my main stroke is front crawl. Or, free," Kanade said.

Makoto's smile faltered as he stared at her, his eyes wide.

Now she reminds him of Haru.

The waitress came by with their pastries and she thanked them. "Ah, thank you! Tachibana, these are the best pastries in the city! Here, try this chocolate one!"

Kanade pushed the plate close to Makoto and pointed out one of the pastries. Makoto's smile returned as he grabbed the pastry and took a bite. His eyes widened.

"This is amazing!" Makoto exclaimed.

"See!" Kanade said. She took a pastry for herself and took a bite. After she swallowed, she smiled brightly. "Ah, so good!"

Makoto chuckled. He was glad he found someone who liked sweets as much as he did. "How did you find this place, Shizumi?"

"Ah, I live pretty close to here," Kanade said. "I kinda grew up around here."

"Oh really? You went to high school in Tokyo? Were you on the swim team there?"

"Ah, uh," Kanade fumbled over her words and hesitated. She glanced down at her water on the table and fiddled with the straw, her smile thinning as she searched for the right words. "Yeah," was all that came out.

Makoto tilted his head slightly in concern. Why was there hesitation in her voice? He noticed her shoulders rise slightly in anticipation, her eyes glued to her drink. Makoto decided not to push it. "Did you go to tournaments?"

Kanade raised her head and looked at him. "Yep!" she replied cheerfully. "You?"

"Ah, yeah! I was in a relay with my team and we went to nationals together," Makoto said, a nostalgic smile creeping on his face.

"Wait," Kanade suddenly said. "Where are you from?"

Makoto blinked. "Iwatobi."

Kanade paused for a moment, her eyes staring at the table. Then her eyes widened and she looked at Makoto with a surprised expression. "OH!" Kanade exclaimed. "You were part of that small team from that school by the sea?"

Makoto raised his eyebrows. "You've heard of us?"

"Of course! It's not everyday that an entire team goes to nationals like you guys!" Kanade said. "It's a shame. I wish I could've seen your race." She paused, looking down at the table again.

"It was an amazing experience!" Makoto said.

Kanade lifted her head and smiled. "So, Tachibana, are you on the swim team here?"

"Oh, no, I'm not," Makoto said. Kanade raised a brow, her lips falling into a small pout.

"Oh? So what brings you to Tokyo then? I would've expected you to want to be a pro swimmer."

It was Makoto's turn to glance down at his tea in front of him, his reflection staring up at him.

"Competitive swimming just wasn't for me. Before I graduated, I helped out at our local swimming club and helped teach young kids how to swim. It was so much fun! I really loved working with kids." Makoto glanced back up at her and gave her a warm smile. "So I decided that I wanted to be able to teach kids how to swim. So I'm here to study education with a focus on sports."

Kanade's eyes widened. "Wow, Tachibana! That's so cool!" she exclaimed. "Those kids must've been so lucky to have you as a teacher."

Makoto's face flushed and he avoided her gaze. "Ah, w-well, I s-suppose," he stuttered. Kanade started to snicker, and then she started to laugh. Makoto turned his head back towards her, listening intently to her laugh. _So cute…_

"Sorry, Tachibana," Kanade said. "I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"Oh, n-no, you didn't…" Makoto's voice trailed off and he stared into his lap.

 _Stop stuttering!_

After she chuckled for a little longer, she glanced up at him. "I bet you miss swimming."

Makoto's head shot up at her, his eyes slightly sad. "Ah, yeah, a little. I meet up with my best friend across town and I watch him swim on the weekends. He's on the swim team there. In high school, I swam every day."

Kanade frowned and put her hand to her chin. She squinted her eyes and thought for a moment. Then, her blue eyes sparkled.

"I know! We have practice in the afternoons every day. The men's team meets in the mornings. Wanna come a swim sometime? Maybe you could coach me!" she said.

Makoto stared at her. Her blue eyes were sincere. "Are…. Are you sure that's okay? I'm not on the team, so I'm not allowed. Won't you get in trouble?"

Kanade waved her hand. "Oh, don't worry so much, Tachibana. I can let you in, no problem. Besides, it cheaper than going to a swim club in town. Memberships can be a little pricy for a college student."

Makoto paused, glancing down at his hands. Getting to swim regularly again would be incredible. But without Haru…

"I know it won't be the same without your old team," Kanade said suddenly. Makoto shot his head up in surprise. _Is she reading my mind? Is this what Haru feels like all the time?_ "But, I think it could be fun. And I can let you come to the meets for free, since I'm sure your best friend will be competing."

Makoto perked up at that, his eyes lifting to meet Kanade's. She giggled at his response, her hand covering her mouth.

"I knew you'd like that offer," she said. "Why not come by sometime this week in the afternoon? Say around 4? I should be done by then."

Makoto could hear Haru's voice asking him if he had made any friends yet. This was his chance, and with someone who shared similar dreams to his. He took a deep breath.

"Sure! I'll come. Maybe on Friday," Makoto said.

Kanade smiled, her eyes gleaming. "Great!"

Once they finished their breakfast, they headed back towards campus. They both chatted about classes and the Tokyo. Makoto brought up his family and friends from Iwatobi, describing Nagisa's crazy antics and how Rei would try to stop him. He also talked about Haru a lot, making Kanade laugh when he mentioned all the places he was banned from.

They passed through the main gate of the school and Kanade stopped and turned to him. "Well, I have to go this way," she said.

"Ah, okay," Makoto said. He lifted a hand to wave. "Thank you for breakfast, Shizumi!"

"You're welcome!" Kanade said. She turned to walk away, but suddenly stopped in her tracks, whirling around. "Ah, Tachibana!"

Makoto stopped and faced her, a look of innocent curiosity on his face.

"We… we don't have to wait til Friday to hang out again, do we?" she asked softly.

Makoto felt his face flush and his chest jolt with excitement. "Ah, n-no! We can definitely hang out again!"

Kanade pulled out her phone. "Let's exchange numbers."

After they exchanged numbers, Makoto walked away smiling down at his open phone. _Finally, I met someone new. Oh! I should let Haru know._ He quickly texted Haru

 _To: Haru_

 _Hey Haru! I hope training went well today._

 _I met someone new today! And guess what? She's on the swim team here!_

 _He's probably going to think I'm meddling again,_ he thought. Makoto chuckled to himself as he closed the phone. Soon, a text came back from Haru.

 _To: Makoto_

 _Good for you._

* * *

The week went by slowly, Makoto itching in anticipation for Friday to finally come so he could swim again. Why did he not think of stopping by sooner? He sighed as he walked towards his morning class on Wednesday, the class he so shamefully missed because he had slept in. Just before he walked through the doorway, another student walked into him.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I—"

Makoto stopped his apology upon realizing Kanade was standing in front of him, her black hair still wet and her chest jumping slightly. _Had she run all the way here?_

"Shizumi! You're on time today," Makoto said, leading her into the classroom. Kanade smiled.

"Y-Yep! Are… are you… surprised?" Kanade asked through her ragged breaths.

"No, I'm happy. I was worried for you when you would show up late and then sleep in class."

Kanade put a hand to her chest. "O-Oh… yeah? You're… too… sweet."

Makoto quirked a brow as they ascended the stairs and took their seats. He watched her carefully, wondering why she had not caught her breath yet. She seemed to have walked into the building, so her lungs should have adjusted by now.

"Are you okay?" Makoto asked upon sitting down.

At his words, Kanade pressed her hand more tightly against her chest, but a smile formed on her face. "Y-Yeah, just… need… a minute."

Makoto eyed her from his seat, watching her until the professor walked in and locked the door. Her breath was still short and her hand pressed against her chest. He grabbed a bottle of water from his backpack and held it out towards her. She glanced at the bottle and then peered up at Makoto's face. She smiled at him.

"Thank you," she whispered, taking the bottle from him. Their fingers brushed slightly as they exchanged the bottle. Makoto's entire face flushed red and he quickly let go of the bottle, almost making Kanade drop it.

"N-N-No problem!" Makoto stuttered, turning his face towards the front of the room. He expected to hear a raspy chuckle from Kanade, but when he peered at her out of the corner of his eye, he saw a light dusting of pink in her cheeks.

Class went on as usual, but Makoto kept his eye on Kanade as she continued to be short of breath for the rest of class. She struggled to stay awake, her head nodding occasionally. Makoto made sure to take several notes for her, since he saw that her pencil barely moved throughout the lecture. And once class was done, he turned to her, worry plastered on his face.

"Shizumi, are you sure you're all right?" he asked her. She glanced at him, her breath much more even now.

"Yeah, I'm good. I overworked myself this morning!" She put on a cheerful smile. "Wanna grab lunch?"

Makoto hesitated, but put on a smile. "Sure."

They stood to leave the classroom when Makoto felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He quickly pulled out his phone and glanced at the screen. He smiled when he saw Haru's name.

* * *

"So did you hear what's going on at that university across town?"

"No, what?"

Haru had just changed back into his normal clothes. He was reorganizing his locker when he overheard a conversation from some of his teammates in the locker room. Torii, his roommate, stood next to him, toweling his hair.

"There's some drama in the girls' swim team there."

Haru glanced up from his locker and turned around, facing the two other swimmers on the opposite wall. Torii looked at him curiously.

"No way, like what?"

"Well, have you ever heard of Watabe Kyoko?"

"She's that one girl who won first place in the freestyle event at nationals last year, right?"

"That's the one! She goes to that university and is on the swim team. But get this: there's a newcomer who is on their team, and this girl beat Watabe's record by four whole seconds!"

"No way! Did she compete at nationals?"

"Nope. She always competed at regionals, but never showed up at nationals. So now there's this rumor going around saying that she's using performance-enhancing drugs."

Haru's eyes widened as he listened to their story. _Performance-enhancing drugs? Is someone really that desperate?_

"Whoa! Does their coach know this?"

"No idea."

"What's her name?"

"Hm…" the one swimmer thought for a moment. "Oh! I think its Shizumi Kanade, or something that like."

"Oh, you're right. I've never heard that name before."

Haru's eyebrows lowered into a light scowl and he reached into his pocket to pull out his phone and started a text.

"What's the matter, Haru?" Torii asked.

"Nothing," he responded quietly. _Nothing yet, anyway,_ he thought.

 _To Makoto:_

 _What was the name of your new friend from the swim team?_

Haru waited only a minute or two before receiving a reply from Makoto.

 _To: Haru_

 _Shizumi Kanade._

Haru's chest went cold and his eyes widened. He felt his face harden as a jolt of either annoyance or apprehension fluttered inside his chest. He was unsure of the mixed feelings he had. This weekend, he would talk to Makoto.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

* * *

"Let's go, Nanase! Push it! Go!"

Haru's arms slid through the water with ease, pushing the waves back as his hand touched the wall with a harsh slap. He leaned up and gasped, forcing air into his lungs. Once he gained his footing, he pulled his goggles and cap off, trying to catch his breath.

"Nice work, Nanase."

Haru glanced up and saw his coach standing above him. His coach reminded him of Goro: stern when necessary, but caring. He glanced down at his stopwatch in his hand.

"You know, the preliminaries for next year's Olympics is coming up soon. If you keep up this training, you'll be in good shape to compete," his coach said, looking down at the stopwatch.

Haru glanced down at the water, his thoughts and heart racing. He had not thought much about the Olympics since he last saw Rin. Then, a thought hit him.

 _Does that mean Rin might compete, too?_

"Just keep that in mind, Nanase. And keep up the good work!" the coach said as he walked to another lane. Haru's eyes followed the coach as he walked down the length of the pool, not seeing a figure standing in front of him.

"That was awesome, Haru!"

Haru turned towards the starting block and he felt his heart jump. His tall roommate was looming over him with a smile on his face and a hand extended towards him. For a split second, Haru thought it was Makoto. After realizing it was just Torii, Haru's eyes fell as he reached up his hand.

"It wasn't anything, really," Haru said quietly as Torii pulled him out of the pool.

"Are you kidding? The coach said you might be able to compete in the prelims. That doesn't usually happen to freshmen in college," Torii said. Haru only stared at him, shrugging his shoulders after a moment. Torii only laughed and put his hands on his hips. "Man, I was hoping he would ask me, too. I've been working so hard on my backstroke, but I guess it's not fast enough."

Haru's eyebrows knitted together, feeling a pang of pain in his chest. He remembered the day Makoto decided to compete against him in the 200m free.

 _Why did Makoto want to race me anyway? I wonder if Makoto would've been good enough to compete in the prelims._

Haru frowned hard at the ground, watching water pool around his feet. He knew he loved to swim, but was going to the Olympics a part of his dream? That was Rin's dream. Did he share a part of that too?

"Haru."

Haru snapped out of his thoughts when a large hand rested on his shoulder. He glanced up at his roommate, who wore his typical happy look.

"Wanna go again? I'll time you this time," he asked.

Haru paused and glanced out at the pool. He saw some of his teammates swimming rigorously in the water, all fighting for a chance in the Olympics. He saw one in particular who was swimming backstroke. He watched as the swimmer did the turn at the far end of the lane and swim back with vigor. Haru sighed and looked away.

"Yeah."

* * *

It was finally Friday, and Makoto could hardly wait for the afternoon swimming session with Kanade. He walked into his early morning class and ascended those same stairs, reaching his usual seat near the back. After a few minutes, students began to flood the room, and Makoto glanced down at the door, waiting for a drenched Kanade to appear.

"Hey, excuse me."

Makoto turned his head when he felt a tapping on his shoulder. The student sitting next to him had a sheepish smile on her face.

"Do you have a pen I could borrow?" she asked.

Makoto smiled at her and nodded. He reached over to his bag to pull out a pen, but his glasses case fell out and bounced a few inches away from him, sliding to a halt at someone's brown boot. He reached out to grab the case, but a white hand had grabbed it first. He stared at the hand and followed up it up the figure standing in front of him. It was a girl with straight, black hair that flowed by her shoulders. She wore brown boots with black leggings, and a skirt with a nice top. She had deep blue eyes…

 _Blue eyes?!_

"You dropped this, Tachibana!"

Makoto recognized that silvery voice anywhere, and he locked eyes with the girl as she held out his glasses case to him.

"Sh-Sh-Shizumi?!" Makoto exclaimed. His face flushed after realizing it was her. "A-Ah, th-thank you!"

 _W-Wow, she's… beautiful…_

Kanade smiled at him and placed his case in his hand. She took her seat next to him and pulled out her things, brushing her hair behind her ear. Makoto unconsciously stared at her, feeling his heart pound against his ribcage. A delightful scent wafted from her seat. Makoto felt his face heat up, his ears burning.

 _Ah… she smells so nice. Wait, that sounded so creepy!_

At that moment, Kanade turned her head and looked at him, her brow raising but her smile stayed in place.

"You okay there, Tachibana-kun?" she asked. Makoto flailed his arms and waved his hands in front of him.

"A-Ah! Y-Yes, of course!" Makoto stuttered. He turned his head and stared down at his notebook on his desk. "You, uh… you look really nice today."

 _D-Did I say that out loud?_

Makoto braced for an awkward reaction or a dismissal, his shoulders hunching in anticipation. Instead, Makoto heard a pure chuckle. He turned his head and peeked at her. She had her hand covering her mouth and her blue eyes stared back at him.

"Thank you, Tachibana," she said casually. "I didn't have morning practice, so I don't look like a slob this morning."

Makoto felt warmth in his chest and a smile pulled on his lips.

 _How is it so easy to talk to you?_

"Uh, excuse me…"

Makoto jumped at the sudden voice from his side. He turned his head to see the girl he was talking to earlier.

"U-Uh, y-yes?" Makoto stuttered. He heard more muffled chuckling from Kanade.

"You were going to let me borrow a pen…"

"O-Oh!"

Makoto scrambled to find a pen in his bag, catching a glimpse of Kanade laughing at him from the side. He expected to be embarrassed by her actions, but instead he felt calm. He stared back at her smiling face, and he felt his lips pull into a smile.

* * *

That afternoon, Makoto pulled his black and green jammers on and wore his old Iwatobi tracksuit. He smiled at the sight of the yellow and blue in the mirror, feeling nostalgia hitting him in his chest.

As he headed towards the university's pool, he felt a buzz in his pocket. He pulled out his phone and smiled, seeing a familiar name pop up on the screen.

 _1 New Message_

 _Gou Matsuoka_

 _To: Makoto-senpai_

 _Makoto-senpai! Are you coming home for summer break? We would love it if you and Haruka-senpai came to help our summer training camp!_

Makoto's chest bubbled with excitement and his fingers quickly tapped on the keys to respond.

 _To: Gou M._

 _I will ask Haru, but I think that would be a lot of fun! Thank you for inviting us, Gou-chan!_

 _To: Makoto-senpai_

 _It's Kou…. -.-_

Makoto could feel he cheeks hurt from his wide smile, a light pink dusting his cheeks. He walked through the main entrance of the pool facility and headed past the front desk to the pool. In front of the door stood several girls from the swim team, hair wet and towels hanging around their necks. They were dressed in casual clothes.

Makoto approached them, looking to meet Kanade at the door. He glanced around the hallway, seeing some girls leave in different directions. Two girls stood beside the doorway to the pool, talking quietly. They both had serious looks on their faces as they spoke. Makoto rubbed the back of his neck as he walked towards them.

"Um, excuse me," Makoto started.

The girls glanced up at him, small smiles painting their faces.

"Hi," one spoke.

"How can we help you?" the other asked.

"Ah, I'm looking for Shizumi," Makoto said.

Both girls raised their brows, their smiles fading instantly. They exchanged skeptical glances before looking back at Makoto.

"You mean, Shizumi _Kanade_?" one of them asked as she placed her hand on her hip.

"Uh, yeah," Makoto said.

The girls' brows lowered harshly as they exchanged glances again. Their friendly demeanor vanished, looking completely uninterested in Makoto.

"She's in the pool, on the far end," one of them said bluntly, pointing her thumb behind her back.

Makoto hesitated, studying their angered faces. "O-Oh, thank you!" Makoto put on a timid smile as he squeezed by them and into the room.

Makoto walked through the doorway and into the pool. He glanced at the spot where the girls had mentioned and saw Kanade sitting on the edge of the pool, her legs dangling in the water. She wore a full, black one-piece with a little white fish symbol on the chest. She was dripping wet from a long practice. Makoto smiled, feeling giddy about the excitement of being able to swim again.

But then he turned his eyes to her face, and he felt his smile falter. Something was wrong.

Kanade's swimming cap was crushed in her hand by her side and her goggles hung around her neck. Her other hand was pressed tightly against her chest. A look of complete exhaustion and pain was on her face as she struggled to catch her breath, her chest and shoulders heaving. Makoto could feel a slight pain throb in his chest. Why did she look like she was pain?

A man with a whistle dangling around his neck knelt down to her and intensely spoke to her, his face turning red and his finger pointing. She glanced at him, giving him her full attention through her squinted eyes.

 _Oh. That must be the coach_ , Makoto thought.

After a few inaudible exchanges, the man walked away, leaving Kanade to sit alone by the pool. Makoto gingerly approached her, his duffle bag in his hand.

"Rough practice?" he asked as he walked up to her. She glanced up at him, her blue eyes clouded, but a small smile forming on her face.

"Yeah, I guess so," she panted. She pulled her legs out of the pool and slowly stood to her feet. "Once the team clears we can…"

Suddenly, Kanade fell forward, but Makoto gripped her arm and steadied her before she could hit the ground.

"Shizumi-chan!" Makoto exclaimed. "Are you all right?"

Kanade panted as she stood on her own again, but she hunched over, her head hanging and her shoulders still heaving. Makoto gripped her arm harder when he saw her almost go limp. Her arm felt so fragile in his grasp.

"Ah, using….honorifics, huh?" Kanade panted. She glanced up at him and smiled, raising a finger to point at him. "Then I'm gonna call you Tachibana- _kun_."

Makoto took a deep breath, his brows knitted together as worry creased across his face. "Shizumi, I'm being serious!"

"So am I."

Makoto paused and glanced down at her snarky face. He felt a smile pull on his lips, and let her arm go. "Fine, fine," Makoto said. "But really… are you okay?"

Kanade glanced up at him and gave him a cheerful smile. "Yeah… I'm … I'm okay. Just… need… a minute." Kanade pushed on her chest and sighed. "I'm going to… just go to the… locker room real quick. Go ahead… and do some stretches, Tach… Tachibana-kun."

With heavy breaths and a painful smile, Kanade trudged to the locker room. Makoto quirked a brow at her, feeling uneasy, but he shook his head, trying to clear his mind of worried thoughts. He glanced around the pool, seeing that the rest of the girls' team had left by the end of their conversation. He smiled, feeling his energy returned.

After a good ten minutes of meticulous stretching, Makoto peeled out of his tracksuit, setting his bag and clothes to the side. He put on his swim cap and goggles and stood on the starting block. He stared down at the pool, barely seeing his reflection in the water. His eyes widened and his chest panged. Thoughts of Nagisa and Rei came to mind, with their hilarious interactions and antics. He thought of Rin, and how far their friendship had come. Haru came into his mind next, and he felt a rush of nostalgia pierce his heart. The final relay with the four of them at nationals and the sight he saw that day would stick in Makoto's mind forever.

Makoto bent down at the starting block, locking his fingers on the edge. He inhaled his breath and held it. After a moment, he imagined a buzzer sounding, and he leapt into the pool with an audible splash. He swam down the lane in a front-crawl, feeling the water slide around his body, feeling the droplets flow through his fingers. He turned his head and took a sharp breath before continuing, his legs kicking the water, thrusting him forward.

At that moment, he heard shouting. The sounds of cheering echoed in his ears as he kept pressing forward.

 _Go, go, go, go, go Makoto!_

 _Swim, Swim, Swim, Swim, Swim Makoto!_

 _Mako-chan!_

 _Makoto-senpai!_

 _Makoto!_

When he reached the other end, he stopped, his hand gripping the side of the pool. He leaned his head up, panting furiously, his eyes frantically searching. But when he looked around, all he saw were empty stands. There was no one there.

Makoto suddenly felt cold. He glanced down at the water, feeling water droplets slide down his bare chest and neck. Why did he feel so empty? Maybe this was a mistake, to be here without Haru.

He turned his head to peer down his empty lane. The color of the water seemed dull, and the black stands that surrounded the pool felt like they would swallow him whole. The lights above him seemed to dim as he glanced up at him.

Makoto frowned hard and sighed. He knew this change would happen sooner or later, when Haru would not be a part of his daily life. But…

 _I never expected to feel so alone_.

After he caught he breath, he turned around and swam slowly towards the starting block. The sounds of cheering did not come this time, nor did the echoes of his former teammates. He internally sighed, feeling an extra weight on his shoulders. The water became harder to glide through, and he found himself starting to fight it. He wondered if this was how Haru felt in that one race where he stopped in the middle of the lane. Makoto felt a jolt of pain in his chest, almost wanting to stop in the lane himself.

Makoto kept pressing forward, a little sluggishly, and he finally touched the wall underneath the starting block. He leaned up and hung his head, unsure if his sudden exhaustion was physical or mental.

"Ooh, very nice, Tachibana-kun!"

Makoto jumped at the sudden voice ringing directly above his head and he snapped his head up. Kanade stood above him, her swimming cap on her head and goggles hanging around her neck. She laughed when she saw Makoto jump.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Tachibana-kun! Did I startle you?" Kanade asked, laughing again.

"N-Not at all!" Makoto replied. He stared at her lips, how they curled when she smiled and laughed. He noticed that her eyes watered when she laughed too hard. An unfamiliar feeling hummed inside his chest.

Kanade nodded at him. "You're so funny. Did you warm up?" she asked, locking her eyes with his.

Makoto noticed that her breathing was steady now, but he suddenly could not find his. "Y-Yeah, I did."

"Great!" Kanade said. She put on her goggles.

She took a few steps back, before sprinting forward and leaping into the lane beside Makoto. She hit the water with a cannonball, splashing water all over Makoto. He could not help but laugh at her antics. She came up to the surface, her eyes shut tight as she laughed.

"Sometimes doing a cannonball is a good enough warm-up for me!" Kanade said, opening her eyes to flash Makoto a reassuring smile. "Let's do some laps! Race you!" Kanade started down her lane in a furious front-crawl.

"H-Hey! Wait for me!" Makoto shouted after her and started down his lane.

Kanade reached the far wall first, making her turn sharply and precisely, before passing Makoto on the way back. Makoto quickly tried to reach the far wall and did the turn. After the turn, he raced down his lane. He could see Kanade up ahead, the water rippling around him.

 _Wow, she's fast!_

As he was trying to catch up to her, he felt excitement squeeze inside his chest. Competitiveness ignited his soul as he tore through the surface of the water with his fingertips.

Kanade reached the starting wall first, and she watched Makoto finish strong, his hand practically slapping the wall. She giggled in between pants.

"I win!" she exclaimed, putting her hands on her hips.

Makoto glanced up at her, trying to catch his breath. "You got a head start!"

Kanade paused and scratched her cheek with her finger. "O-Oh, yeah, maybe," she said and she laughed nervously.

Makoto felt a smile pull on his lips. He turned towards the lane and his eyes widened. The colors surrounding the pool suddenly burst into life. The water was a crystal clear blue, reflecting the white lights in the ripples below. The stands that were once a dull black were now sharp granite, the seats popping with a dark purple. Everything looked bright and new. It was almost as if he was awoken from a weird slumber, and Kanade was the catalyst.

"So, show me your backstroke!" Kanade suddenly said.

Makoto faced her, not sure if he heard her correctly. "H-Huh? Backstroke?"

"Yeah! I wanna see! I didn't get to see you guys at nationals, so I wanna see what the backstroke-swimmer-at-nationals can do!"

Kanade climbed out of the pool and rummaged through her bag. She came back and hovered over Makoto with a whistle in one hand and a stopwatch in the other.

"Go on, start at the block!" Kanade said when he hesitated. "I'll give you the signal." She gave Makoto a determined smile.

Makoto took a deep breath and shifted towards the bar. He grabbed onto the rails and pulled himself slightly forward, waiting patiently. He listened intently.

"Ready," Kanade said.

Makoto curled his back more, his head leaning towards the block.

Kanade blew the whistle.

Makoto flung himself from the starting block and hurled himself into the water, starting a dolphin kick that pulled him towards the surface. As soon as he broke the surface, he pounded through the water, staring up at the colorful rows of flags that whizzed by as he swam. He reached the far wall in a flash, making the turn perfectly. His feet pushed against the wall, flinging him forward.

 _Mako-chan!_

Makoto's heart jumped. Nagisa. He passed a set of flags.

 _Makoto-senpai!_

Rei. Another set of flags passed.

 _Makoto._

Makoto's eyes squinted into pained slits. Haru…

"..ibana-kun! Go, Tachibana-kun!"

Makoto snapped out of his thoughts and pushed harder, his eyes widening at the sudden cheer. He felt his chest burn as he pushed harder through the water until his hand slammed against the wall. He shot his head up, gasping for breath.

Above him stood Kanade, who was staring at the stopwatch with widened eyes, arched eyebrows, and a dropped jaw. Makoto stared down at the water, pulling his swim cap and goggles. His shoulders heaved as he waited for her to speak.

"T-Tachibana-kun," Kanade said in a soft whisper. Makoto looked up at her with a curious look. "That. Was. Amazing!" Kanade shouted. She stared down at him with sparkling eyes. Makoto's lips parted slightly as his jaw dropped. "Your form is on point, and your power is just… You could definitely be on the team here!"

Makoto felt a blush crawl onto his cheeks. "O-Oh, you really think so?" he asked, rubbing the back of his neck. "Competitive swimming isn't really for me."

"That's a shame," Kanade said, putting her hands on her hips. "You would be incredible!"

"You're too kind," Makoto said, climbing out of the pool. "But I realized that competitive swimming was best left to my best friend."

"Ohh, you mean your friend that goes to the other university in Tokyo? You guys went to the same high school, right?"

"Yeah, we did. He was on the swim team there, too."

"Aw, that's so cool!" Kanade paused, putting her stopwatch and whistle down. "Do… do you miss swimming with him?"

Makoto froze, feeling the weight of her question push harshly on his shoulders. "Yeah, I do," Makoto answered honestly. He rubbed the back of his neck and gave a sheepish smile. "I visit him on the weekends and watch him swim, but I never swam with him." Makoto let his words drift off into space as he stared sadly at the pool, Kanade watching him like a hawk. She watched him as he knelt down and stared at his reflection in the pool. "I guess I didn't realize it until now."

Kanade paused, her hand wringing her wrist nervously. "Well, I know I'm not him, but…" Kanade paused, walking towards the pool. She knelt down beside him, their thighs almost touching. "I hope swimming with me can make you even the slightest bit happy."

Makoto turned his head sharply towards hers, and, for the first time, saw a new sparkle in her eyes that made the room brighter. Her smile was a little bit timid, but warm and comforting. Makoto felt his heart pound against his ribcage.

"Thank you, Shizumi," Makoto ended up saying. Kanade's smile widened and she gave him a toothy grin.

"Alright, I'm pumped now!" Kanade said suddenly. She stood to her feet and put her hands on her hips. "Wanna race again?" Kanade asked.

Makoto glanced up at her, giving her a cheeky smile. "You're on!"

* * *

 _"You have reached Makoto, please leave a message after the beep._ "

Haru hung up the phone. That was the fifth time he had tried calling Makoto that night. Where in the world was he?

"You've been messing with your phone for an hour," his roommate said from his bed. He put his book down on his lap and stared at Haru with a concerned expression. "Trying to get a hold of Tachibana?"

Haru hummed in response. "Yeah."

"Is he coming over this weekend again?"

Haru paused, looking down at his quiet phone. He ended up just shrugging, unsure if Makoto wanted to come visit this weekend or not.

"Well, why don't you come to lunch with the team tomorrow then? We're going out to get new suits afterwards," Torii asked.

Haru turned his head sharply at his roommate, his expression remaining as deadpan as possible, but his eyes widened ever so slightly. He felt torn. What if Makoto still wanted to hang out this weekend?

"You're not going to lose your friend over one day with your team," Torii said, leaning back in his bed and picking up his book. "Just let him know what your plans are, and come with us. Maybe you can hang out with him on Sunday."

Haru hesitated, taking one more look at his roommate before glancing down at his phone. He opened his phone and scrolled down to Makoto's name, hitting the 'dial' button more time.

* * *

Makoto got out of the pool, water dripping from his chest and legs. Kanade got out and stood next to him. Both were panting and laughing.

"You cheated that last time!" Kanade panted. She bent over and rested her hands on her knees.

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't," Makoto said, smiling back at her.

"I knew it!"

They burst into laughter again, both trying to catch their breath in between pants. Makoto leaned his head back to stretch when the giant clock on the wall caught his eye. Hi chest fluttered.

"Wah! I have to get to work!" Makoto said, grabbing a towel.

Kanade stood up straight and watched him towel dry his hair and collect his belongings. "Where do you work?"

"Oh, it's that old restaurant next to the Star Hotel."

"What?! That's so far away!"

"Yeah, but it's the only job I could get with such a good pay. My place isn't exactly the cheapest."

"Doesn't it get busy with drunk college kids?" Kanade asked, her hands curling into nervous fists.

Makoto chuckled. "Only sometimes."

Kanade hesitated, watching him fumble with his bag. She fiddled with her fingers, unsure of what to say next. She stared hard at the ground, deep in her thoughts.

"Thanks for the swim!" Makoto said as he headed towards the locker room. Kanade snapped out of her thoughts and snapped her head up to watch him leave.

"O-Oh, yeah! Anytime!" Kanade said, waving him off.

She watched him disappear behind the door to the locker room. Slowly, she dropped her hand by her side and listened to the eerie silence of the empty pool.

* * *

Makoto burst through the restaurant's front doors, fully clad in his waiter's uniform. Only one minute late, but the manager stormed over to meet him.

"You're late! You should know better than to show up late on a Friday, Tachi—" the manager stopped talking once he saw Makoto's wet hair. "Why is your hair so wet?"

Makoto fumbled, feeling a slight panic in his chest. "S-Sorry! It won't happen again!" He immediately bowed to his manager. As he stared at the ground, he saw droplets fall from his brown bangs and puddle onto the floor.

Oh, this seemed familiar. Kanade did the same thing on the first day of school. She showed up late to class, dripping wet, and the professor yelled at her for being late. Makoto chuckled at the irony of the situation.

Suddenly, memories of the last two hours with Kanade flooded his mind. He remembered her laugh, her smile, her encouraging words and cheers. He thought of how blue the water looked with her in it, how it complimented her eyes. He remembers how sharp the colors looked when she was around. He remembered how she looked at him, and how she told him that she hopes he could be happy. His chest jumped.

 _"I hope swimming with me can make you even the slightest bit happy."_

Her words rang through his ears, and he unconsciously put a hand to his chest. He could barely hear his manager above him.

The manager sighed and rolled his eyes. "Just get to work."

"Y-Yes, sir!"

As Makoto leaned up and headed for his station, he no longer felt panicked about being late. His chest pounded and his breathing was labored, but he felt as light as a feather.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

* * *

When Makoto got home from work that night, it was close to 2 in the morning. The restaurant was swamped that night, and his manager made it him stay late to help clean up and close. And, of course, there were several drunken college students there. Makoto even had to break up a fight. He usually scorns his height and build, but tonight, he was thankful for it.

He did not bother to look at his phone and he collapsed into his bed, still in his uniform. He rolled onto his side and his duffle bag caught his eye. He felt a smile pull on his lips once again, and warmth spread to his chest. Those two hours with Kanade were the best two hours he's had while attending university. His eyelids became heavy and he fell asleep with a smile on his face.

* * *

"Let the games begin!"

"Nagisa-kun! Don't be so loud! And don't you think this game is ridiculous? It is NOT beautiful!"

In order to raise team spirit, Nagisa came up with the idea of having a team sleepover at Rei's house. Rei had asked why the sleepover should happen at his house, but Nagisa's only response was "because you're Rei-chan!"

Rei tried to calm Nagisa down, knowing too well that he could get over-energized all too quickly. He also did not want his parents to complain. The other three swim team members were also in attendance, including a sullen-looking Dai.

"Oh, c'mon, Rei-chan!" Nagisa whispered loudly at Rei. "Do it for Dai-chan!"

Rei knitted his brows together and glanced at Dai, who sat against the wall with his knees pulled to his chest. His chin rested on his forearms and his sad eyes stared at the ground.

Rei sighed and put a hand to his head. "Fine, fine. For Dai-kun."

"Yay!" Nagisa leapt into the air. The other two first-years attentively waited for Rei to start.

"You can do it, Rei-senpai!" one of them encouraged.

Rei shook his head and he stood up in front of Nagisa. He took a deep breath and cleared his throat.

"M-My name is Nagisa, and I like to eat Iwatobi specialty bread! This makes Gou-chan mad sometimes!" Rei tried to mimic Nagisa's voice and antics, but ended up looking stiff and awkward. "I also like to pester Rei-chan and make fun of how he thinks some things are absolutely _beautiful_." He started to get out of character. "And—"

"Bahahahaha Rei-chan, I can't take it!" Nagisa fell over, holding his stomach and laughing loudly. The two first-years started to laugh as well.

"Rei-senpai, that didn't sound like Nagisa at all!"

"Rei-senpai, you need acting classes!"

Rei's face was red from his neck to the tips of his ears. He curled his hands into fists and started to scold them.

"H-Hey! _You_ were the ones who suggested this ridiculous idea!" Rei yelled. "And furthermore—"

"Rei-kun!" Suddenly, the bedroom door cracked open, stunning everyone into silence. "You're being too loud!" Rei's mother peeked her head in the door, giving him a reproachful look. "Now quiet down!" she said, and shut the door.

Rei stood speechless, staring at the door. His jaw was dropped and his shoulders slumped. He heard stifled snickering from behind and slowly turned his head back to his teammates, who were all covering their mouths to prevent from laughing.

"Rei-chan, you really should be quieter!" Nagisa said in between giggles.

"Yeah, Rei-senpai!"

Rei felt anger rise to his cheeks, and just as he was about to scold them again, he heard an unfamiliar snicker from the corner of the room. He glanced up, trying to follow the source of the sound. The rest of the team turned towards the noise as well, their eyes resting on Dai. He had his eyes shut and a wide smile on his face. His hand tried to smother his laughter, but to no avail.

"Dai-kun…" Rei whispered.

The two first-years smiled, and Nagisa's eyes flashed with excitement and he raced towards Dai.

"Dai-chan!" Nagisa yelled, and he jumped on top of Dai, pulling him into a hug.

"W-What?!" Dai yelped.

"Dai!"

"Dai-kun!"

The two first-years jumped on top of Dai as well, pulling him into a group hug. Rei even knelt down carefully and joined in.

"H-Hey!" Dai shouted, an annoyed look appearing on his face.

The rest of the team merely laughed in the huddle. Once they broke the huddle, one of the first-years looked up at Rei.

"Rei-senpai, have you ever taken any acting classes at all?" he asked.

"No, I have not," Rei said, folding his arms across his chest.

"Maybe you still can!" the other first-year said.

"No, he's a third-year now. He doesn't have time for that," the first-year said.

"Wahh, it must be so stressful to be a third-year!"

Nagisa smiled nervously and rubbed the back of his head.

"Nah, it isn't too bad! The classes aren't all that bad" Nagisa said.

"Nagisa-kun is right," Rei said with a gentle smile. He adjusted his glasses. "If you study hard, then you'll be fine."

"What about college entrance exams?"

The team turned around and glanced at Dai, who had suddenly spoken up. Dai sat cross-legged, his back against the wall. He gave Rei and Nagisa a hard look.

"Don't you two have to start thinking about stuff like that?" Dai added.

Rei and Nagisa looked back at him, the smiles gone off of their faces and their eyes wide.

"Oh, come on, Dai-kun," one first-year said. "They know what they're doing!"

"Yeah, they do," the other first-year said. "Right, Rei-senpai, Nagisa-senpai?"

The first-years turned to Rei and Nagisa with expectant smiles, but Rei and Nagisa only returned worried expressions. They both turned their heads towards each other, giving each other sad looks.

"Uh, Rei-senpai?"

"Nagisa-senpai?"

Rei and Nagisa both jumped and looked back towards their team. Nagisa put on a small smile, but his eyes still shook slightly.

"Hehe, I guess we haven't really thought much about that," Nagisa chuckled nervously. "Right, Rei-chan?"

Nagisa glanced at Rei, who was staring blankly in his lap. His brows were stern as he peered through his glasses, which had begun to slip down his nose. He stayed silent. Nagisa's eyes widened, his smile dropping into a worried frown.

"Rei-chan?" Nagisa called. Rei blinked and glanced at Nagisa, giving him a small smile.

"Ah, y-yes, those are coming up soon, aren't they?" Rei said gently. He adjusted his glasses. "It's not something you all should worry about," Rei said to the first-years. He stood to his feet. "I'll go get some drinks for us!" Rei said and he swiftly headed for the door.

"Wah, Rei-chan! Wait!" Nagisa called, but Rei had already stepped through the doorway and shut the door promptly behind him. Nagisa stared at the door, a worried expression painted on his face. "Rei-chan?"

Outside the room, Rei leaned against the door, a hand to his chest as he stared at the ground. He grimaced as a shuddering sigh escaped his lips.

* * *

Makoto groaned as the sunshine flooded into his room, hitting his eyes and causing an instant headache. He leaned up, his brown hair messier than usual. He glanced around the room, realizing he was still in his work uniform. He wiped his face and rubbed his eyes, yawning.

The screen on his phone suddenly lit up from his desk. Makoto stood from him bed, shedding from his black apron, and walked to his desk. He picked up his phone and gasped. It was almost noon. Scrolling through his notifications, he saw that he had six missed calls from Haru, and one new text. He opened the text, seeing that it was from Haru.

 _To: Makoto_

 _Are you coming over this weekend?_

Makoto decided to go Haru's contact information and he dialed the number. He waited, listening to the other line ring three times. He pinched his pants nervously, anxiously waiting for an answer.

"Makoto," Haru's voice finally came through the line.

"H-Haru! I'm sorry, I was super busy all day yesterday and now it looks like I've slept in," Makoto apologized, his voice cracking slightly.

"It's fine," Haru replied.

"Don't worry, I can still meet you for lunch if you want. I'll hurry up here and get dressed and—"

"Don't worry about it," Haru interrupted.

Makoto paused. "Huh?"

It was Haru's turn to be silent for a moment. "The team is going out today."

"O-Oh." Makoto's grip on his pants loosened, his hand falling limply by his side. For the first time in a while, Makoto is unsure of what to say. He hesitates and fumbles over his words, saying how it was fine and how they can meet up another weekend. Haru stays quiet, and Makoto knows he is unsure of his decision to stay. After a moment of silence, Makoto speaks. "Haru? You still there?"

"Yeah." Haru's answer was short and hesitant.

"Well, what if I came over tonight? After you meet up with your team?"

Haru immediately responded. "Yeah, that sounds good."

Makoto felt that unsettling feeling in his chest dissipate, and a smile formed on his cheeks. "Okay! I'll get ready and see you tonight. Have fun, Haru!"

"Yeah, thanks. Bye."

"Bye!"

Makoto hung up the phone, feeling his smile falter slightly. Haru had tried calling him so many times yesterday. Haru usually lets Makoto take the initiative when talking on the phone, but this time when Haru actually had wanted to call, Makoto was too busy to answer. Guilt began to plague his core as he thought about missing the phone calls with Haru. And now, he's going out with his team today. Was Haru beginning to change? Or had Makoto begun to change?

Or… had their friendship changed? Makoto shuddered at the thought, and he rushed to the bathroom to shower. He wanted to get those thoughts out of his head and hurry up to see Haru.

* * *

Haru hung up his phone, but stared down at the black screen. His brows lowered, slightly in frustration and worry. He had forgotten to ask Makoto why he was so busy yesterday, and why he had not answered his phone until noon. He sighed, feeling something unsettling in the pit of his stomach.

"Haru! You ready?" Torii was next to him in an instant, putting his large hand on his shoulder. Haru snapped back to reality in an instant, remembering that they were standing in front of the gate to the pool.

Haru turned his head to look up at his roommate. His hair was similar to Makoto's, and he had the same droopy eyes as Makoto, too. But his smile was not as handsome, nor did he display Makoto's signature head tilt.

"What's wrong?" Torii asked after Haru remained quiet. He glanced down at the phone in Haru's hands. Torii's smile thinned to a straight line. "Get in touch Tachibana?"

"Yeah," Haru replied.

Torii hesitated, his brows knitting together in apprehension. "You… still want to come with us today?"

Haru glanced down at his phone, and then stuffed it into his pocket. He took a deep breath before looking back up to Torii, that unsettling feeling gnawing away in his gut.

"Yeah. Let's go," Haru replied.

Haru and his roommate walked down the street towards the restaurant that the rest of the team was meeting. Haru's eyes were fixed onto the ground. After a few blocks of absolute silence, Torii glanced over at Haru with a worried expression.

"Something's been bothering you since we heard those two other freshmen talking about that girl from the other university's swim team," Torii said with upturned eyebrows. Haru cut a glance at him, almost glaring at him. "Do you know her or something?"

Haru turned his gaze. "No."

Torii's brow raised slightly. "Does it have to do with drugs? Are you bothered by that topic?"

"No."

"Maybe you're afraid of the rumors affecting the team?"

"No."

"Don't like gossiping?"

Haru sighed. This was getting annoying. "No."

Torii hesitated, thinking carefully. Suddenly, an idea struck him, and he stopped walking, letting Haru walk a few steps. "Does it have to deal with Tachibana?"

Haru stopped in his tracks and whirled around to face Torii, who had now had his arms folded across his chest.

"Bingo," Torii said. Haru lowered his eyebrows and turned his head. "When it comes to him, you get all defensive and lose focus." Torii approached Haru and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Don't you think you should be spending more time with _our_ team? We're the ones who are trying to push you to be better."

"Makoto is pushing me to do better, too," Haru said pointedly. Torii sighed.

"See? Defensive."

 _Annoying_.

"I _am_ spending time with the team. Every day," Haru said, walking out of Torii's grasp. "Makoto is my best friend. Don't talk about him like that."

Torii put his hands in defense. "I got it, I got it. I meant no harm." Torii lowered his hands to his sides. "So, what's the situation then? Why have you been so worked up? What's Tachibana got to do with it?"

Haru finally looked up at Torii, a worried expression on his face. Torii studied him for a minute before he spoke.

"Don't tell me Tachibana knows that girl?" Torii asked. Haru looked away, his eyelids dropping slightly. "I see. Does he know about the rumors?"

"I'm not sure."

"Hm," Torii hummed, putting a hand to his chin. "Well, you'll see him later, right? Talk to him then." Torii put his hands in his pockets and started to walk down the street. Haru stared after him, a little baffled by his encouraging words. "You coming?" Torii called, looking over his shoulder.

Haru snapped out of his thoughts and rushed to catch up to him, the unsettling hum turning into a loud noise inside his chest.

* * *

Makoto slumped down on at seat on the metro, feeling his shoulders sag as he leaned his head back against the glass window. He had run all the way to the station, fearing he would miss the train. He heard the buzzer sound as the doors closed and the train started off the station. Only a few stops until he would meet Haru for dinner.

Makoto glanced out the window, watching as the outside world buzzed by in a blur of browns and blacks. He sighed, wondering if Haru was sensing the same weird feeling he was. They had been together nearly every day for years, with only one fight that they both feared would ruin their friendship. Makoto's brows knitted together sadly, thinking about the fight they had that night.

 _"All you ever do is meddle with everyone! Stop sticking your nose in everyone else's business!"_

Makoto shuddered at the memory. Even though Haru was in a dark place, Makoto cannot help but wonder if Haru really feels that way. Even though it was a heated situation, and even though Haru apologized for it later, Makoto wonders if Haru really meant it.

A buzz in his pocket snapped him out of his thoughts. Makoto's subdued expression twisted into curiosity and he dug into his pocket. He assumed it was a text from Haru, but was pleasantly surprised when he saw a different name on the screen.

 _1 New Message_

 _Kanade Shizumi_

A smile pulled at his lips as he read her name. He opened the text.

 _To: Tachibana-KUN_

 _Tachibana-kun! What university did you say your friend was from?_

Makoto immediately texted back a reply, and he held his phone between his fingers, his leg bouncing impatiently for a reply. Within minutes, a reply came.

 _To: Tachibana-KUN_

 _I thought so! Both our guys and girls team are doing a joint practice with them in a few weeks. Wanna come?_

Makoto felt his chest burst with excitement.

 _To: Kanade Shizumi_

 _That would be great! Sure, I'll go!_

 _To: Tachibana-KUN_

 _Awesome! It'll be fun!_

 _By the way, yesterday's lecture was actually kind of interesting!_

Makoto smiled, texting back his reply. Before he knew it, he was texting Kanade the whole way to Haru's university, even as he was walking to the pool gate. Haru walked out of the building just as Makoto arrived, and he walked over to meet him.

"Hey, Haru!" Makoto greeted as he waved.

"Hey," Haru replied. He avoided eye contact with Makoto, his gaze shifting slightly downward. Makoto noticed it, but decided not to pry. They began to walk down the street towards a restaurant for dinner.

"How was hanging out with your team?"

"Fine."

Another short reply. Makoto slumped his shoulders, but tried to keep the conversation flowing between them. He would chat about some of his classes and ask Haru about some of his teammates. Haru would only reply with a "yes" or "no" or "fine" or "not really." He would stare at Makoto with a dropped jaw, a question ready to escape his lips. But, as soon as Makoto would look at him with his emerald-green eyes, he would look away, abandoning the question that was on the tip of his tongue.

Makoto noticed Haru's hesitated responses and expressionless glances, but chose not to speak on it. Worry started to creep up on Makoto's shoulders, wondering if his thoughts from earlier were true. What if Haru still thought he was too meddlesome?

Another buzz in his pocket snapped him out of his thoughts. Makoto reached into his pocket and slid open his phone. A smile appeared on his face as he saw Kanade's name pop up.

Haru noticed Makoto's smile, and a weird pain squeezed his heart. He took a deep breath. This was his best friend. How hard could this be?

"Is that your new friend?" Haru asked quickly. He stared at Makoto's phone, avoiding his eyes. Makoto tilted his head and shut his eyes, his smile widening.

"Uh, yeah, it is!" Makoto chuckled nervously, a slight blush rising to his cheeks. Haru stared up at Makoto's face as he clicked away on his phone, replying to the message. He was smiling fondly at his phone as if it were a pet kitten.

"Is she nice?"

"Oh, definitely! I think you would like her, Haru. She loves swimming just as much as you. Her main stroke is front-crawl, or _free_ , as you would say it. Just like you!" Makoto said, tilting his head to the side.

"I see," Haru replied, and stared back ahead to open the door to the restaurant.

They sat at a table, sipping their tea in what Makoto thought was comfortable silence, but to Haru's queasy stomach churned restlessly as he stared down into his cup. The words he wanted to say were bouncing on his tongue, but he could not quite force them out of his mouth. He knew he had to talk to Makoto about this, about Shizumi and the rumors. He could not let his friend get hurt.

Once again Makoto reached into his pocket to fish for his phone, drawing Haru's gaze immediately. After sliding open the phone, Makoto's gentle smile widened into a giddy grin and his eyes glistened, almost like a kid in a candy store.

Haru bit his lip. He knew that bringing up this topic now could ruin the only chances Makoto has at a friendship. But if this friendship even has the slightest chance of being tarnished, he had to save Makoto the pain of dealing with it later. He knew how much and how far Makoto would go for someone he cared about, and Haru could tell by his goofy look on his face that Makoto was attached to this girl.

He was happy.

Haru lowered his eyes onto the table again, feeling his insides trying to claw their way out. Makoto finally looked up from his phone and stared at Haru, feeling that unsettling feeling slamming on his shoulders again. He gulped.

"Say, Haru," Makoto started. Haru lifted his head to meet Makoto's eyes. "Are you all right? You're usually quiet, but I can kind of sense that something's wrong."

Makoto's brows quivered nervously as they rested above his eyes. He can still hear Haru's voice yelling at him to keep his nose out of everyone's business.

Haru opened his mouth to speak, but heard Makoto's phone buzz on the table. Haru sighed softly and looked away.

"I'm fine," Haru replied, picking up his tea.

Makoto hesitated, but gave a reassuring smile. He can usually read Haru like a book. Had his reading skills slipped?

The rest of dinner was spent in uncomfortable silence.

* * *

"Ah, hey Tachibana!" Torii greeted as Haru and Makoto entered the dorm room. Makoto smiled at him.

"Good evening," Makoto greeted. He walked over to Haru's desk and started to pull out books from his backpack. Meanwhile, Torii approached Haru.

"Did you talk to him?" Torii whispered. Haru shook his head, making Torii sigh.

"Hey, Haru," Makoto called as he sat down at Haru's desk. "I heard you guys are having a joint practice with the team from my university in a few weeks. Maybe you can meet Shizumi then!"

Haru hesitated, stealing a glance from Torii. He then shifted his gaze back to Makoto.

"Sounds good," Haru replied.

"So, who this Shizumi person?" Torii suddenly asked. Haru turned his head sharply at Torii, wondering what he was up to.

"Oh, she's a friend from my university," Makoto replied.

"Is she on the swim team?" Torii asked.

"Yeah, she is!"

Torii rubbed his chin. "Interesting."

Haru shot him a glare, warning him to back off. Torii unfortunately ignored him.

"Is she good?" Torii asked. Makoto put his hand to his chin and thought for a moment.

"W-Well, I didn't exactly see her swim by herself. I only got to see her swim when we raced," Makoto said.

"Raced?" Haru suddenly asked. "You guys swam together?" Makoto's smile faded and his lips parted slightly, surprised by Haru's voice. He turned his gaze to meet Haru's.

"Oh, y-yeah," Makoto said as he rubbed the back of his neck. "She invited me to their pool last night and we swam for a few hours."

"You never swim when you come here," Haru noted. "You always just read or do homework."

Makoto gave a nervous smile and he closed his eyes, continuing to rub the nape of his neck. "W-Well, yeah, my major requires a lot of hard classes that have a tedious workload. I try to get work done when I can…" Makoto's voice quietly trailed off.

Torii stared at the two of them as the room thickened with awkward tension. He thought for a moment on how to remedy the situation. Luckily, an idea sparked in his mind quickly.

"Say, why don't we head down to the pool now?" Torii suggested, putting a hand on Haru's shoulder. Makoto and Haru both looked at him with curious looks. "No one is there now, so it should be free for us to use."

Haru snapped his head to look at Makoto, giving him an almost desperate look. His eyes begged him to come, and Makoto got the message loud and clear. A genuine smile spread on Makoto's face.

"That sounds fun!" Makoto said. As soon as he stood to his feet, his phone buzzed. Makoto reached for his phone and glanced down.

 _To: Tachibana-KUN_

 _By the way, have you done the essay for our class yet?_

Makoto felt his heart leap into his throat. Essay? He quickly typed back.

 _To: Kanade Shizumi_

 _Essay…?_

 _To: Tachibana-KUN_

 _O.O Don't tell me you haven't done it, Tachibana-kun! It's due Monday! =O_

Makoto felt panic rise to his chest and he glanced up at Haru and Torii, who were both huddled by the door with their duffle bags in their hands. He could feel the worried expression tightening on his face.

"Ah, sorry, Haru, but I'm going to have to pass on this one," Makoto said. "I forgot about an assignment I have to do. It'll probably be an all-nighter…" Makoto's eyes drifted to the floor.

Haru felt his eyes widen but his brows lower considerably. His chest felt tight and he opened his mouth to speak, but when nothing came out, he lowered his head. Torii saw the struggle in Haru's face and he turned back to Makoto.

"That's fine, Tachibana. Maybe next time, 'kay?" Torii said, giving Makoto a smile.

Makoto glanced up at him and returned a small smile. "Yeah, next time," Makoto said.

Torii nodded. "Don't work too hard. Let's go, Haru," Torii said, and he left the room.

Makoto turned and took a seat at the desk, frantically pulling out a textbook and some paper. Haru stared at Makoto's back, seeing his strained shoulders stiffen under stress. Haru sighed quietly, and left the room, closing the door behind him.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement! This is my first fic, so I've been working really hard on trying to get it done for you all and your words are truly what's keeping me going! My goal is to upload one chapter a week, so I hope I'm doing well enough for you all!

~LuckE1~

* * *

Chapter 5

* * *

"Oi! Your kicking your legs too violently! Stop thrashing about!"

"Gah! Y-Yes!"

"Hey, Nagisa! Stop fooling around, show me your breast stroke!"

"Yayyy! It's my turn!"

"Rei!"

Rei jumped at Goro's loud shouting and he snapped his head up from the starting block.

"Y-Yes!" Rei answered, his back stiffening.

"You're going slow and your form is too rigid!" Goro shouted back.

Rei gulped and nodded. "Y-Yes!"

"Now hurry up, go after Nagisa!"

"Y-Yes!"

Rei bent down at the starting block and took a shaky breath. He saw Nagisa approaching from his peripherals, and he waited patiently.

 _If I land at the angle of 45 degrees, no wait, maybe 50, then the splash will be minimal and it won't slow my speed. I must make sure my dive is accurate. But what is most important is that I step off at the right_ —

"Rei-chan, go!"

Nagisa was looking up at him with expectant eyes, his hand already touching the wall. Rei's shoulders jumped and he launched himself forward into the pool. He landed in the pool at a steeper angle than normal, causing a huge splash. He surged forward, trying to recover, and started his butterfly. Nagisa crawled out of the pool and turned around, watching Rei. His brows creased in worry as he watched.

"What's wrong, Nagisa-kun?" Gou asked from behind. Nagisa's brows creased more.

"Something's off with Rei-chan," Nagisa said, his voice in almost a worry. Gou stared at Rei, watching him make the turn at the far end of the pool.

"He looks okay to me," Gou said.

"No," Goro interrupted, causing Gou and Nagisa to glance up at him. "Nagisa is right. Something _is_ off."

Gou and Nagisa watched as Rei slowed down towards the starting block, his hands touching the wall and he shoulders heaving.

"Rei-chan!" Nagisa called from above his head. "Are you okay?"

Rei glanced up at Nagisa, staring into those shining pink eyes. He felt a jolt of pain in his chest and he looked away, pulling his swim cap and goggles off. He rested a hand on the side of the pool, steadying himself, while his left arm hung limply by his side. He offered Nagisa a smile.

"I'm fine, Nagisa-kun," Rei explained. He gingerly moved his left arm to the side of the pool and struggled to pull himself out. A small, pained sigh left his lips when his shoulders strained to pull his weight. "My entrance wasn't beautiful at all! I think that threw me off completely." Rei put a hand to his face, wiping the stray drops that slid down his cheeks.

"Rei-kun," Gou called, handing him a towel. "Maybe you should rest? You look a little worn out."

"Oh, thank you, Gou-san," Rei said, taking the towel from her hand. "Maybe I will take a break. Our training hasn't been as strenuous as last year, but I can still feel the effects of—"

"REI!"

Goro's loud voice loomed over Rei. Rei froze, feeling a shadow cast over him. He slowly turned around and saw Goro standing on a starting block, looking down at Rei with a look of agitation on his face.

"What kind of swimming was _that_?!" Goro yelled.

"I, uh, well, I—" Rei stammered.

"No excuses!"

Rei yelped at his voice. "Y-Yes, sir!"

"Swimming like that can really damage your body. Swim properly from now on, got it?"

"Y-Yes! O-Of course!"

"Now, get back to the starting block!" Goro snatched the towel from Rei's hand. "We're going again!"

"Y-Yes, sir!" Rei said, and he quickly put on his cap and goggles. He rushed to a nearby starting block.

Gou and Nagisa stared at him, worry still looming over Nagisa's face.

"You think it really is that he's just tired?" Nagisa asked quietly. Gou raised her brows at him, surprised by the calm in his voice.

"It's possible," Gou replied.

"Say, Gou-chan," Nagisa said.

"Hm?"

"What are your plans for after graduation?" Nagisa asked, his gaze still fixed on Rei.

Gou blinked a few times before putting a finger to her chin. "I suppose college," she said. "What about you, Nagisa-kun?"

"Me?" Nagisa asked, looking back at her face. He glanced back at Rei and then down at the ground. "I'm not so sure."

* * *

Makoto groaned as he rolled over in his bed, trying to turn off the blasting alarm on his phone. He sighed, realizing it was another Monday already. The past weekend was strange and draining. He felt a weird distance between him and Haru that he had never really felt before.

He sighed when he got out of bed and got ready for the day. He headed down to his first class, his head feeling foggy and his mind distracted. He sat in his usual seat but put his head down on the desk. His heavy eyelids closed and he dozed.

"Tachibana-kun?"

He felt a light tapping on his shoulder. His eyes fluttered open and he saw blue eyes staring into his. He blinked a few times, seeing a water-logged Kanade sitting dangerously close. He sat up quickly, a hot blush rising to his cheeks.

"Are you okay?" Kanade asked, a worried look on her face.

Makoto rubbed his eyes. "Y-Yeah, I must've dozed off. Did I miss anything?"

"Uh…"

Kanade rubbed the back of her neck and gave a nervous smile. She pointed to the front of the room. Makoto followed her finger and glanced around the room. The classroom was empty.

"You kinda... slept through class," Kanade said gently.

"What?!" Makoto yelped, turning back to Kanade. His eyes were wide as he stared at her in horror. Sleeping through class?

"I'm sorry I didn't wake you! You looked so peaceful," Kanade said, nervously brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I took a lot of notes though. And I turned your essay in for you. Here."

Kanade passed a few sheets of paper towards Makoto, and he took them gently. His eyes widened when he looked at her notes. They were neat and precise, giving specific page numbers with color-coated instructions. He glanced back up at Kanade.

"Wow, t-thank you, Shizumi!" Makoto said. He gave her a head tilt and a big smile. Kanade's eyes widened slightly, seeing his smile. She blinked a few times and glanced away, feeling her cheeks turn red.

"It–It was nothing, really!" she said. She twiddled her thumbs nervously.

"Did practice go okay this morning?" Makoto asked. Kanade glanced at him and smiled.

"Yeah it was fine!" she replied. "Say, Tachibana-kun, you can come by the pool more often if you'd like. No one goes in there after our practice is over in the afternoons."

Makoto's eyes lit up. "That would be really fun! Can we go today?" he asked.

"Ohh, sure!" Kanade said, her eyes now lighting up.

"I've just got to get my homework done first… oh how embarrassing. What was the homework for this class?"

"Oh, it's easy. Just work out of the textbook. I brought mine. Maybe we can go to the library and work on the homework now? Since you slept through the lecture?"

"Oh, that sounds great!" Makoto smiled brightly, his green eyes shimmering. He stood to his feet and grabbed his bag, and led Kanade out of the classroom. "You are so prepared! I didn't bring my textbook today. You saved me a trip home."

"Home? You don't live in the dorms?" Kanade asked. They walked across the courtyard of the campus together.

"Ohh, no I have an apartment near the South train station."

Kanade gasped, her hands gripping the straps of her bag. She stepped in front of Makoto and stopped him, her eyes staring up at him brilliantly. Makoto stumbled to a halt in front of her, almost bonking his chest into her head.

"So wait! You're telling me you work west of here, but live east of here?" Kanade asked, practically yelling.

Makoto rubbed the back of his neck. "W-Well, y-yeah," he stuttered.

"Tachibana-kun!"

"Y-Yes?"

"You're going to spread yourself thin. You have all these classes plus work, and you live so far away," Kanade said. She looked at the ground briefly before turning her eyes back up to Makoto. "Are you sure you want to come swimming tonight? It's really no big deal if you can't."

Makoto smiled gently at her. "Don't worry about me," he said. "I enjoy swimming with you."

Makoto froze. _Where did that come from?_

Kanade's jaw dropped and her eyes shimmered. She abruptly turned away from him and faced the library.

"W-Well, if that's how you feel, t-then I guess I can't stop you from coming," Kanade said. She took a few steps forward and then started into a light jog. "Race you to the library!"

Makoto's jaw dropped and he tightened his grip on his backpack on his shoulders. A smile formed on his lips as he took off after her.

* * *

Haru sat down in the locker room and rubbed the towel in his damp hair. He was panting after a long practice, ready to take a long bath. He heard footsteps and then felt the bench get heavier.

"You seem tired."

It was Torii. _Annoying_.

Haru stayed quiet, taking the towel off of his head.

"Your times were slower today. Coach wasn't happy," Torii said. Haru just shrugged as he put his goggles and swim cap away in his bag. "You know, Haru, if you want to go to the Olympics, you need to rid yourself of… _distractions_."

Haru cut his eyes at Torii, understanding exactly what he meant. His face contorted into a scowl as he looked back into his lap.

"Makoto isn't a distraction," Haru said.

"Right," Torii said. "Listen, I'm not trying to pick a fight with you. I'm just trying to push you in the right direction."

"Stay out of it," Haru managed to say. He glanced away. Torii sighed, his shoulders slumping.

"Just think about it. Don't let this drag you down. See you back at the room, Haru," Torii said, and he left the locker room.

Haru just watched him leave, the bench suddenly feeling uncomfortable. He glanced down at his phone, his thumb pressed over the "dial" button, ready to call Makoto. He stared down at his name on the screen, his thumb beginning to quiver. He closed his eyes and closed his phone, shoving it back into his pocket.

* * *

"E-Excuse me."

Makoto tried to push through the mass of people that stood in the aquatics facility. He had on his tracksuit and jammers underneath, ready for his swim session with Kanade, but it seemed to be more crowded than usual.

He heard a few whispers as he walked towards the indoor pool.

"Oh, look! That's the guy who was here for Shizumi last week."

"Oh great, what's he doing here?"

Makoto gulped, feeling an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Why were they so frustrated that he was here?

He pushed his way towards the doors that opened up to the indoor pool. He glanced around looking for Kanade, but only saw the girls' swim team walking by. He looked over their heads, trying to find the short girl with the pretty black hair and piercing blue eyes. Alongside the wall stood three girls in casual clothes, and one girl who was leaning against the wall away from them. That girl was still wearing her swimsuit…

Makoto gasped and he took a few steps forward, squinting his eyes to get a better view. His heart jumped inside his chest when he realized that a few girls had surrounded Kanade, and she had pinned herself against the wall, trying to get away from them. Two of the three girls surrounding her wore angry expressions and spoke with and edge in their voices. The one girl in the middle had her arms folded across her chest, a look of irritation on her face. Her long, bluish-black hair was pulled into a ponytail. Kanade's face showed no signs of fear, only a blank expression as they spoke to her. Her eyes stared at the girl directly in front of her, the girl with the ponytail.

Suddenly, one of the girls grabbed Kanade's goggles that hung around her neck.

 _Uh oh, this looks bad. I should do something_. Makoto thought. Makoto stepped forward and took a deep breath.

"Sh-Shizumi-chan!" Makoto called.

All four of the girls looked at Makoto at once, the three girls giving him a dirty look. One of the girl's hands still gripped Kanade's goggles. Kanade glanced at him and her eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

"Are you okay? What's going on?" Makoto asked, his brows lowering. His once cheerful and friendly face turned fierce and intimidating.

The one girl let go of Kanade's goggles and stared at the girl in the middle. The girl with the bluish-black hair in a ponytail turned towards Makoto and walked towards him, stopping in front of him and boldly staring up into his eyes.

"You a friend of Shizumi's?" she asked, and Makoto jumped. Her voice was deeper than he had expected.

"Y-Yes, I am," Makoto said.

"Really," she said. "Good to know."

The girl walked out of the room without another word, leaving a speechless Makoto to stand awkwardly in the way as the rest of the swim team left in a hurry. He hesitated, staring at the ground where the girl had once stood, and then he glanced up and saw Kanade still leaning against the wall and staring back at him. He snapped out of his thoughts and rushed over to her.

"H-Hey, are you okay? What was that all about?" he asked. Kanade glanced up at him and put on a nervous smile.

"Oh, it was nothing," Kanade answered, and she pushed herself away from the wall and towards the pool.

Makoto blinked, staring after her. _She's acting like this is normal!_

"Do you not get along with your team, Shizumi-chan?" Makoto asked.

Kanade froze, her back to Makoto. She turned slightly, and Makoto caught a glimpse of sadness in her face. But it was gone in a flash when a smile reappeared on her face.

"Well, you know that one girl who talked to you? Her name is Watabe Kyoko," Kanade said. "She won first place in the freestyle event at nationals!"

"F-First place at nationals?!" Makoto exclaimed, walking up to Kanade. "That's incredible!"

"I know! It's so amazing! I was so excited when I found out she was on the team," Kanade said. She sat down and dangled her feet in the water. Makoto sat down next to her, peering at her face. "But, when the team had preliminary try-outs, I ended up beating her by four seconds."

Makoto's eyes widened. "R-Really?"

"Yeah," Kanade chuckled nervously. "Since Kyoko-san is on scholarship here, it kinda looks bad that I beat her, especially since she won first place last year. So, no, I guess the team doesn't really like me all that much."

"Oh," Makoto said. "I'm sorry, Shizumi."

A sad look replaced her beautiful smile, and Makoto felt his heart crack. He reached out and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. Kanade glanced up at him and saw his tender gaze and worried frown. Her eyes perked up and she felt herself smile.

"You know, you looked really scary earlier," Kanade said. "I didn't know I had a bodyguard!"

"A b-bodyguard?!"

Kanade laughed and stood to her feet. She pulled her swim cap onto her head and put on her goggles.

"Meet you in the pool, Tachibana-kun!" Kanade yelled, and she dove into the one of the lanes. Makoto scrambled to his feet and peeled out of his tracksuit.

"Hey, wait for me!"

* * *

After swimming for a while, Makoto climbed out of the pool and towel-dried his hair. He had to get to work soon.

"Do you like your job, Tachibana-kun?" Kanade asked as she climbed out of the pool.

"It's okay. A little stressful at times," Makoto said, putting a shirt on.

"Can I join you today?" Kanade asked suddenly. He glanced at her as he put on a jacket.

"You want to come to my work?"

"Sure!"

"It's so late, though! And kind of far. Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'd like to see Tachibana-kun in action!"

Makoto chuckled softly and tilted his head. "Okay, let me get changed and we can head over."

* * *

"Oh, so you're a waiter here, Tachibana-kun?" Kanade asked as she sat at the bar.

"Y-Yeah, it's nothing real fancy," Makoto answered. He tugged on the sleeve of his waiter's uniform.

"You look real sharp, though! Very professional," Kanade said, giving him a thumbs-up.

Makoto blushed. "O-Oh, thank you!"

"Tachibana, get going!" his manager yelled.

"Y-Y-Yes sir!" Makoto yelled back nervously. He gave Kanade an apologetic look, but she only smiled back at him, waving her hand at him. He smiled lightly and walked away, heading towards his tables.

Kanade ordered a tea from the bar and leaned against the counter. She tapped a finger on the counter, feeling impatient. She slowly turned her gaze back and eyed Makoto. He was wearing a white button-up shirt with black pants and a black apron. The shirt was tight across his broad shoulders, his biceps bulging slightly through the fabric. His smile was incredibly handsome, especially the way it reached his sparkling green eyes. She found her eyes wandering down towards his rear, staring at his butt. The way his butt looked in those black pants…

Kanade snapped out of her thoughts, feeling her face turn beat red. She sharply turned her head back to the counter and looked at her cup of tea.

 _What was that all about? C'mon, Kanade. Stop being a perv!_

Kanade shook her head, trying to shake off the thoughts she had on her new friend. She grabbed the handle of the cup and put it to her lips, blowing lightly.

"Oh, wow, you're so tall! You must be a model, right?"

"U-Uh, n-no, I'm just…"

Kanade whirled around in her seat, seeing Makoto at a table full of college girls. They all had long, pretty hair, either teased in curls or had clips to keep their bangs out of their face. They wore makeup and cute clothes. Kanade's eyes widened when she looked at Makoto's face. His eyes were gentle and he wore a friendly smile. He made eye contact with each of the girls as he took their orders. Kanade turned back towards the counter and dug in her arm inside her duffle bag. She pulled out a small, compact mirror and peered at her face. She combed through her wet hair that was pulled into a ponytail, and she swept her bangs out of her face, only for them to fall back into place again. She felt her chest go slightly cold when she heard more giggles from behind. She turned around and stared back at the girls. One of them had her hand on Makoto's forearm, his face flushed pink. Kanade felt her face blush as well, seeing him so flustered. She faced the counter and tapped on her now-cold tea.

Kanade ended up staying put at the bar, stealing glances at Makoto. She saw how his shoulders drooped as the night went on, the way his smile did not quite reach his eyes, and how he sighed every time he went back to the kitchen. She noticed that he was not really enjoying himself. When he would return from the swinging door of the kitchen, he would have a tray in his hand, wearing that same tired smile on his face. She watched as he went to the girls' table, setting down their orders and giving them his best friendly smile. Kanade knitted her brows.

She wanted to see that smile, too.

One of the girls took an opportunity to try to slip a piece of folded paper into his back pocket, causing him to jump from the unexpected touch. His eyes went wide, and the tips of his ears immediately went red. Kanade's eyes widened at the sight and she watched him, wondering what his next move would be.

Makoto simply bowed for his reaction and walked away, his face still flushed and his smile broken. Before he went into the kitchen, he took out the paper and threw it away in a nearby trashcan. Kanade could not help but smile at his awkwardness. She watched as he went into the kitchen for a few minutes. She heard some muffled voices before Makoto returned to the floor. He put down his tray and walked towards the bar. Kanade quickly turned her head to avoid getting caught staring and waited for him. He sat down next to her.

"Whew, this shift has been a little… crazy," Makoto said, his voice cracking.

Kanade glanced over at him, and she felt her heart skip a beat. His eyes were gazing fondly into space, and his shoulders sagged as he leaned against the counter. His smile was not like the one he gave the girls earlier. It was a tired, ready-to-be-done smile. It was not the huge friendly smile he had given the girls at the table.

This smile was genuine.

"I've got a short break now," Makoto explained, turning his head to look at her. He tilted his head. Kanade blinked, her thoughts crumbling down.

"O-Oh, that's good," Kanade said. She smiled at him. "You look worn out."

"Do I?" Makoto asked. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Maybe a little." He glanced down at his watch and his eyes widened, a frown replacing his smile. "Uwah! Shizumi-chan, it's almost 11:30. Shouldn't you be getting home?"

"Wha— is it that late already?" Kanade asked nervously. She felt her cheeks grow hotter, realizing she had stayed just to check out Makoto the whole night.

 _How embarrassing!_ Kanade thought. She glanced at her duffle bag and reached down to grab it.

"I suppose I should head out," Kanade said.

"W-Wait," Makoto said, standing to his feet to stop her. Kanade turned around and looked at him curiously. "It's dark. My shift ends in thirty minutes, let me walk you home."

"Ah, but don't you need to get home?" Kanade asked, sitting back in her seat. Makoto merely smiled at her.

"It's no big deal, really!" Makoto said, putting his hands on his hips. "I have to change out of my uniform after my shift, but after that I can walk you home. If you don't mind."

Kanade paused, staring into his green eyes. His eyes shimmered and glowed, reminding Kanade of a beautiful field on a nice summer day. His kind smile seemed to stare through her soul, forcing a smile to climb onto her cheeks. She giggled.

"Okay!" Kanade agreed. Makoto's smile grew, making his eyes squint slightly. Kanade felt her heart pound harder. There it was. That handsome smile. She smiled at him fondly. "Don't work too hard, Tachibana-kun! I'll be right here!" Makoto nodded at her, and walked back to the kitchen.

The next thirty minutes ended quickly, and Kanade waited for Makoto outside the doors to the restaurant as he locked up. He walked out of the doors wearing casual clothes and he had his duffle bag in his hand. His neck and shoulders were sagging miserably as he tried to stay awake.

"Ready?" he asked, to which Kanade replied with a quick nod.

She led him down a few blocks, heading back towards the university. She kept a close on him, noticing how his eyes closed, making him stumble a few times. She noticed how his head nodded and how he slapped his cheeks to wake himself up. Kanade giggled at his antics, but internally she felt a little worried.

Once they passed the university, Kanade led them a few more blocks towards a large building. Makoto lowered his brows in confusion as Kanade walked towards the alley next to the building.

"Uh, Shizumi, what is this place?" Makoto asked. Kanade turned her head to look at him as she walked to the alleyway.

"This is the local rec center," Kanade answered. "This way."

Makoto followed her down the alleyway and watched as she took out a key and opened the lone door on the side. He kept gazing up at the tall building, his eyes briefly flitting back to watch her open the door. The door opened up to a staircase, and Kanade climbed a few steps. She stopped when Makoto did not follow.

"Coming?" she asked. Makoto snapped his head back to her and rushed to follow her, closing the door behind him.

"You live in the rec center?" Makoto asked.

Kanade laughed nervously. "Sorta?" she answered. "More like, above it? Next to it? Attached to it?"

She turned her gaze away from him as she climbed the last step, which led to another door. She took out another key and started to fiddle with the lock, opening the door. Makoto followed her inside, and watched as she turned the lights on. His eyes widened.

The apartment was open, with the kitchen and living room flowing together as one large space. The walls were painted white, and the furniture was neat and organized. There was one hallway that led to the bathroom and the bedrooms. There was a large window that covered the wall next to the kitchen, and Makoto could get a glimpse of the lights in the city. It was a pretty view, despite it not being a high-rise apartment.

"Make yourself at home, Tachibana-kun! I'm going to go change out of these clothes," Kanade said, and she disappeared down the hallway and into a bedroom.

Makoto glanced around the room, taking in the surroundings. Her apartment was clean. It hardly looked lived in. There was not much clutter nor garbage. In fact, there was not really much of anything. No pictures on the walls or paintings. There was very little color. It made Makoto feel a little lonely. He sat down on the couch in the living room and noticed one small picture frame sitting on the coffee table. It was a picture of her in her tracksuit standing next to some older man. A grandfather perhaps? Kanade had a medal around her neck, a huge smile painted on her lips. He tilted his head curiously. He glanced around the room once again, not seeing any other pictures.

"Want some tea?" Kanade asked as she stepped into the living room. She leaned against the back of the couch and stared happily at Makoto. He glanced up at her, his eyes wanting to close.

"No, thank you. I really should be heading back…" Makoto's voice trailed as his head nodded again.

"Uh, Tachibana-kun, are you sure you'll make it back safely?" Kanade asked. She put her hand on his shoulder to keep him from falling over.

"Y-Yeah, I'm f-fine," Makoto said. He rubbed his eyes. His body felt heavy on the couch, willing him not to move. Kanade paused, feeling his shoulder muscles move under her fingers.

"I don't want you passing out on the way home. So how about this," Kanade said, gripping his shoulder to get his attention. Makoto lowered his hands from his face and stared into blue orbs. "I have an extra bedroom. Stay the night."

Kanade could feel her pulse rise slightly. _What am I doing?_ She asked herself. Makoto also looked a little shocked, a small dusting of pink sitting under his eyes.

"Sh-Shizumi-chan, th-that would be s-such a burden!" Makoto said, suddenly more awake than he had been all night. Kanade felt herself relax at Makoto's nervous reaction.

"It's not a burden, Tachibana!" Kanade said, patting his shoulder. "Just take the offer. You can go back to your apartment tomorrow morning before classes start. C'mon!" Kanade reached down and grabbed Makoto's bag.

"H-Hey, w-wait!" Makoto called, standing to his feet.

She walked down towards the hallway, and opened the door on the right. She turned on the light, revealing an empty bedroom. The bed had sheets and a pillow on it, but the rest of the room laid bare.

"Here you go!" Kanade said, resting the bag on the bed. "I have an extra toothbrush you can use. I'll go get it!"

"Shizumi, you really don't have to do this," Makoto said as she walked towards a closet door. She opened up the closet. "Don't you have a roommate or your parents?"

Kanade froze, her hand on the doorknob of the closet. "Oh, no, I live alone," Kanade answered plainly. Makoto's brows raised, feeling concerned about her answer. She shut the door and walked back to Makoto. "Here you go, Tachibana-kun!" She handed Makoto a toothbrush and a small tube of toothpaste. "It's really no big deal, I promise! My place is always open if you need to crash, and I think tonight you need to rest instead of walking all the way back to your apartment."

Makoto glanced down at the red toothbrush that was still in its plastic wrapping. His thoughts traced back to when they first swam together.

 _"I hope swimming with me makes you even the slightest bit happy."_

Her words would always find a way back into his head, and once they were there, he kept them on replay, playing them over and over until he thought his chest would burst. He glanced up at her confidently.

"Thank you, Shizumi-chan," Makoto said. His head tilted to the side and he gave her a sincere smile. It was _the_ smile. The smile that could make any girl fall in love. Kanade felt heat rise to her cheeks, her chest feeling warm and full. She played with her fingers behind her back as she stared up at him.

 _He's really handsome_ … Kanade thought.

Makoto raised a brow at her. "Uh, Shizumi-chan? Are you okay?" he asked.

Kanade immediately snapped out of her thoughts. "W-Well, g-goodnight, Tachibana-kun!" Kanade said.

She bowed slightly before turning on her heels and into her bedroom. She hastily shut the door and then leaned back against it, feeling her chest start to burn. She put a hand to her chest to steady her pounding heart. She slid to the floor and pulled her knees to her chest. She felt a slight pain in her heart. Her eyes widened once she realized it.

She liked him.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

* * *

Makoto woke up to the sound of his alarm on his phone. He groaned and rolled over to turn it off, almost falling off of the bed. He sat up and glanced around. He chest jumped when he realized he was not in his apartment.

 _Huh? Where am I?_ Makoto thought.

He glanced down and saw his duffle bag sitting next to him. Then, it clicked. He was at Kanade's apartment, the apartment that above the local rec center. He quickly got up and got dressed.

After he grabbed his things, he headed down the stairs to the alleyway. He turned the corner, but before he could walk towards his apartment, the front doors leading to the rec center caught his attention. He glanced around before stepping up to the door. The sign on the door read "closed" but the door was unlocked. He pushed his way inside and looked around. The lobby was not too fancy, but it was high quality. There was no one at the front desk, so Makoto slipped down a hallway. A sign pointing towards two large doors read "pool." Makoto's eyes sparkled, wanting to see the pool. He peeked through the window in the door and felt his breath hitch in his chest.

There was someone swimming in the pool.

 _It couldn't be… could it?_

Makoto pushed open the door and entered the room. He quietly shut the door behind him and turned to face the pool. There was a girl rigorously swimming laps, her tiny body pounding through the water. She made the turn at the far end and swam back towards the starting block, her body flying through the lane. Makoto's eyes widened.

 _She's incredibly fast! And so accurate!_ He thought.

Her hands touched the wall at the starting block and she ripped off her goggles and swim cap, panting heavily. Makoto's heart skipped a beat. It was Kanade. He quickly strode up to her.

"Shizumi!" he called.

Kanade snapped her head up in surprise. She was still panting but she smiled behind her exhausted features. She lifted a shaking hand to wave at him.

"Tachibana-kun! Good morning!" she said cheerfully. She pulled up her body to rest her arms on the side of the pool. Makoto knelt down to her. "You sleep well?"

Makoto nodded happily. "Like a rock," he said.

"Ah, I'm so glad!" Kanade said. "You're welcome to crash after work any time."

Makoto laughed softly. "Thank you, Shizumi. I'll keep that in mind," he said. "I thought your morning swim practices were with your team."

Kanade blinked a few times before putting a hand to the back of her neck. "No, they weren't," she said. "I come here every morning."

"Ohh, do you have a membership?" Makoto asked. Kanade shook her head.

"No, I work here," Kanade said. Makoto's eyes widened.

"Oh? You work here? What do you do?"

"I'm a lifeguard here."

"Oh, wow, that's awesome!" Makoto exclaimed.

"It's pretty fun! It's not what I'd like to do forever, but it involves water," Kanade replied.

Makoto smiled. Her statement reminded him of Haru. _As long as I can swim, I don't care._

"So, did you just move into that apartment?" Makoto asked. He wondered if that would explain why it looks so bare.

"Oh, no I've lived in that apartment since middle school," Kanade said. Makoto gave her a puzzled look.

"O-Oh," he responded.

"Heh, you didn't see pictures of family or anything. That's why you ask, right?" Kanade asked. Makoto jumped and waved his hands defensively.

"W-Well, that's not… I wasn't trying to be nosy, I just…"

Kanade giggled at him, putting her hand over her mouth to supress her laugher. "It's okay, Tachibana-kun! I understand." She scratched her head. "My caretaker owns this place."

Makoto paused, raising his brows. "Caretaker?"

"Ah, uh, mhm," Kanade said. She looked away from him. "Tachibana-kun, do you have time?" she asked.

Makoto cocked his head at her. "Y-Yeah, my first class isn't until 11."

Kanade stared up at him and gave him a cheerful look. "Great! Let's go somewhere."

* * *

Once Kanade was dressed in her usual tracksuit with a hoodie, she led Makoto towards the university. They walked into the center of the campus, and she plopped down underneath a cherry tree. She laid in the grass and felt the sun kiss her skin, a big smile on her face. She closed her eyes.

"Even though it's a bit chilly today, the sun feels sooo good!" Kanade said, resting her hands behind her head.

Makoto chuckled at her and sat down in the grass next to her. He stared up at the tree fondly. It reminded him of home. He was happy to see that the university kept some trees on the campus. The city could be dull and depressing at times.

"I was in and out of a foster home growing up," Kanade said suddenly. Makoto snapped his head down at her and stared at her face, wondering if he heard her correctly. Her eyes were open now, a small frown on her lips. Her eyes stared up into the petals of the cherry tree. "My biological parents gave me up, and every time I went to a new home I would…" she paused. "Uh… Well, it didn't really work out. I distracted myself from the problems with swimming. A friend from elementary school invited me to join. Ever since then, I've loved swimming. Even though I was in different homes every year, I still joined the swim club." A small smile returned to her face. "One day when I was 12, I was fed up with the foster system, and I sorta… ran away?"

Makoto blinked. "Ran away?" he repeated.

"Yep. I ran until I found that rec center." Kanade looked into Makoto's eyes. "The owner of the place used to be an Olympic swimmer."

"R-Really?!" Makoto exclaimed. Kanade nodded.

"I begged him to let me stay and not turn me in. And he let me. I told him I loved swimming, and he began to coach me. Soon enough, he filled out paperwork to be my caretaker," Kanade said. She looked away from Makoto and stared back up at the tree. "It was a good deal. He would coach me, I would help him around the rec center. And he would help me when I was on the swim team at my middle school… but," Kanade paused, her face changing into a blank stare.

"Shizumi?" Makoto called after she remained silent for a while. She snapped out of her gaze and glanced up at him, giving him a small smile.

"A-Anyway… he's my caretaker now. He let me live in that apartment above the rec center. Now that I'm older, I can help out more at the rec center, and he considers that as part of the payment for the rent," Kanade said happily. "That's… that's why my apartment looks a little bare. I left the foster home with nothing so…" She looked away, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry…" Makoto said in a low voice. Kanade shot up from the ground.

"H-Hey! Don't apologize!" Kanade shouted, pointing a finger at him. Makoto jumped at her voice and moved back from her finger. "Don't ever apologize for something like that!"

"Ah, right, s-sorry!" Makoto said, putting up his hands in defense. Kanade smirked.

"Hey, what did I just say?!" Kanade said. She pushed his shoulder playfully and laughed at him. Makoto laughed with her and fell backwards on his back. "I didn't push you _that_ hard, did I?" Kanade asked.

"Yeah, you did," Makoto said. "I think I broke something!" Kanade crawled over to Makoto and hovered over him, giving him a cheeky smile.

"Oh, is that so?" Kanade asked, raising a brow. She grinned at him.

Makoto chuckled softly, and then noticed her hair. A petal from the cherry tree had fallen in her hair. He stared at it and lifted his hand.

"Oh," Makoto said. "There's a petal in your hair."

He gently reached up and grabbed the petal, and stopped and stared at her. Her black hair contrasted with the pink petals that floated above her. The blue in her eyes popped against the paleness of her skin. He gazed into her eyes, taking in her beauty as he saw more petals fall around her body. He felt his chest constrict and retracted his hand, the petal gently pinched in between his fingers. His fingers delicately grazed her ear and cheek as he pulled away. Her shoulders jumped when she felt his hand touch her cheek, her face turning pink. Makoto noticed her blush, and the audaciousness of his actions fell down on him like a rock. His face turned beet red as he realized how bold he was to touch her like that. He sat up and waved his hands frantically in front of him.

"S-S-S-Sorry! I-I'm so s-s-sorry!" Makoto apologized. Kanade sat back and stared at him, her eyes wide and her lips parted. "I d-didn't mean to, well, I mean… I shouldn't have invaded your space, or…" Makoto stuttered, putting a hand on the back of his neck. He avoided her gaze, feeling embarrassment slamming on his shoulders. "W-Well, I—"

"Tachibana-kun!" Kanade shouted. Makoto froze and lifted his head gently to look at her. She still had a slight pink in her cheeks. She stood up and she closed her eyes, putting her hands on her hips. "You apologize too much, Tachibana-kun!" Makoto blinked at her, the blush on his face not fading fast enough. Kanade opened her eyes to look at him, feeling her blush redden. "A-Anyway, thank you for listening. You're a good friend, Tachibana." She smiled brightly at him, and Makoto felt his heart skip a beat. "I've gotta get going. I'll see you later, Tachibana-kun!" She took off down the pathway towards another building on campus.

Makoto sat there in the grass for a moment, his brain processing. He glanced down at his hand, feeling the petal in between his fingers. He smiled shyly at the petal.

* * *

A few weeks had passed and the day had finally arrived for the joint practice. It was a dreary Saturday morning, with the rain stubbornly coming and going. Makoto waited for Kanade outside the pool building, his hood of his jacket pulled up over his head. She soon rushed to meet him, a smile on her face.

"This weather sucks, doesn't it?" Kanade asked as they headed for the train.

"Yeah, but at least it's getting warmer. That just means summer is right around the corner. I can't wait!" Makoto said.

"Ohh, you like summer, Tachibana-kun?" Kanade asked as they boarded the train and took their seats. He nodded and hummed.

"It reminds me of good times. It was Haru's favorite season, too," Makoto said.

"Oh, that's right!" Kanade exclaimed, her eyes sparkling. "You excited to see him?"

Makoto smiled brightly and nodded again. "I think it'll be good to see him swim with his teammates," Makoto said. "He loves water, so I think you guys will get along pretty nicely!"

"Man, I hope so…" Kanade said softly. She rubbed the back of her neck. "I'm a little nervous actually."

"Huh?!" Makoto said, his eyebrows shooting up. "Nervous about meeting Haru?"

"Maybe a little. He _is_ your best friend! I want to make a good impression on the person I've heard so much about!"

"Oh, c'mon, I don't talk about Haru _that_ much," Makoto whined. Kanade smirked playfully.

"Yes you do," she teased. Makoto pouted at her, and she nudged her elbow in his side.

The train came to a stop on the other side of Tokyo, and they both walked to Haru's university. They walked through the gate to the pool building and walked inside. The pool was crowded with both the men's teams and the women's teams from both universities. The men's teams were currently using the pool, each taking turns to warm up in the lanes. Makoto and Kanade walked in to the side and sat down in the stands to watch. Makoto glanced down at the pool, his eyes frantically searching for Haru. However, the large group of ladies sitting on the other side caught his attention. They were all wearing white tracksuits, just like Kanade's. It was their women's swim team. He glanced over at Kanade who sat comfortably next to him.

"You don't want to sit with your team?" Makoto asked. She looked at him and smiled awkwardly.

"I'm fine over here," she said. Her eyebrow twitched slightly.

Makoto creased his brows, worry lines forming on his forehead. She's been tense all morning.

Suddenly, a whistle blew, making Makoto jump. He turned his head down at the pool and saw that the teams were climbing out of the pool. The coach stood at the middle of the lane, a clipboard under his arm and his gaze stern. He took his whistle out of his mouth and grabbed the clipboard from under his arm.

"We're going to do times now. First up are breaststroke swimmers. Get to a lane!" he yelled.

Makoto smiled. He felt really excited. He glanced over to Kanade, and felt his smile fade. Kanade was staring hard at the pool, and she had one hand pushed against her chest. Her eyes looked blank, the sharp blue that used to be there had dulled.

"Shizumi…" Makoto whispered. Kanade jumped and turned to him, her fist gripping a handful of her white tracksuit jacket. "Are you okay?"

Kanade gave him a small, reassuring smile. She nodded. "Yeah, just a little tired this morning." She glanced back down at the pool, her smile fading.

Makoto furrowed his brows and looked back down at the pool. His gaze traveled across the room until they stopped at the locker room doors. His eyes widened and he felt his heart jump. Standing outside the doors was Haru, wearing his school's tracksuit. His eyes seemed to search the people around him. Makoto stood to his feet.

"Shizumi-chan, let's go!" Makoto said. Kanade stared up at him but scrambled to her feet, following him. They walked down the stands and Makoto lifted up his hand, calling Haru.

Haru turned his head and his lips turned slightly upward. But when he saw a girl walking behind him, he frowned. His roommate, Torii, came out of the locker room and stood next to Haru. Once he saw Makoto approaching, he put on his usual smile.

"Ah, Tachibana! Good to see you!" Torii said. Makoto nodded at him.

"It's good to see both of you," Makoto said. He moved to the side and put out his hand. "This is my friend that I was telling you about! Haru, this is Shizumi-chan. Shizumi, this is my friend Haru, and his roommate Torii-kun."

Kanade gave them a big, sweet smile and bowed deeply to them.

"N-Nice to meet you both! I'm Kanade Shizumi," she said, and she leaned back up.

Torii gave Haru a sideways glance before returning a small bow. "Nice to meet you as well. I'm Masato Torii." He nudged Haru's arm.

"Haruka Nanase," he mumbled, turning his head away from her. An angry force gripped his chest.

"Oh, Nanase-kun! I've heard so much about you!" Kanade shouted. Haru turned his head back to look at her. "I'm glad we're finally meeting!" She gave him a bright smile.

Haru hesitated as he stared at her. His brows lowered, and he turned sharply away from her.

"I have to get ready," Haru said as he walked away. Torii stared after him for a moment before flashing the other two a quick smile and running after him.

Makoto and Kanade stood silently by the locker room doors, Kanade wearing a stunned look on her face. Her face scrunched up, and her hand returned back to her chest as she looked at the ground, at a loss for words. Makoto rubbed the back of his neck and then placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Don't mind him, he's not good with meeting new people," Makoto excused. Kanade's face perked up slightly and she smiled at him. "Want to go back up and watch? We can go to dinner after this with him and you can get to know him then."

Kanade's face brightened. "Yeah, sounds good!"

As they walked back towards the stands, Kanade could hear people whispering her name as she passed. She kept turning her head, looking around for the source, but as soon as she looked at a possible culprit, they turned their head and stopped talking. She pushed her fists into the pockets of her jacket and followed a clueless Makoto up the steps.

After they took their seats, the coach blew another whistle and announced freestyle swimmers to take their places at the starting block. Haru stepped up on one of the blocks, fully clad in his black and purple jammers. Makoto smiled, remembering how all of his jammers look exactly the same.

"Ready," the coach said.

The swimmers all knelt down, listening intently.

The coach blew the whistle, and all of the swimmers took off at once. The members of the two teams started to cheer for certain swimmers as they took off in their lanes. Haru immediately took the lead, pulling way ahead of the others. Makoto felt his chest swell with pride as he watched Haru make the turn effortlessly and then pound his way back to the start. Haru slammed his hand against the wall and shot his head up, gasping for breath. Makoto stood to his feet.

"Haru! That was—"

"WOW!" Kanade shouted. Makoto turned his head down to her and saw her standing up as well. "That was _incredible_! His form was perfect, and he just went through the water and— Wow!" Kanade made motions like she was swimming, unable to describe it. Makoto smiled at her, sharing her excitement.

"I know! The way he just glides through the water, it's just so inspiring!" Makoto shouted. Kanade nodded, a determined look on her face.

They watched Haru step out of the pool and grab a towel, people giving him congratulatory pats on the back. Makoto lifted a hand to wave at him, calling his name. Haru took one look at Makoto and then turned his gaze at the ground. Kanade smiled fondly.

"You have such a cool friend, Tachibana-kun," Kanade said, her gaze fixed on the water. Makoto glanced over at her and smiled.

"Yeah," Makoto agreed. "He's pretty cool."

* * *

Once the men's teams were done, the women's teams took over the pool and started warming up, Kanade included. She had on her usual black one-piece with the white fish symbol on the chest. She had swam a few laps and was hanging out on the edge of the pool, her shoulders heaving already. Makoto stared at her, his lips parted and brows knit together.

 _What is going on with her? She's so tired already…_ he thought.

"Makoto."

Makoto turned his head and saw Haru walking towards him in the stands. Makoto smiled and waved at him.

"You were awesome out there, Haru!" Makoto said.

"Thanks," Haru said, sitting next to him.

They sat in silence for a while, watching the girls warm up in their lanes. Makoto kept a close eye on Kanade, who was now out of the pool and standing alone near the locker rooms. She was leaning against the wall, her arms crossed against her chest and her goggles hanging around her neck. She was staring blankly towards her other teammates, a hint of curiosity in her eyes.

"I told Shizumi we could all go to dinner together after this," Makoto said, turning to Haru. "I'd like for you to get to know her."

"Why?" Haru asked, his tone a little bitter. Makoto paused, sensing the harshness in his voice.

"U-Uh, w-well, I thought it would be nice for you to meet one of my friends from university," Makoto said. "She also shares so many interests with you already, I figured you guys would get along pretty well."

"Is that so?" Haru said plainly. Makoto smiled at him, finding his short answer typical.

Torii eventually came up and sat next to Haru, along with a few other members of their swim team. They all chatted about little things for a while until a different coach blew a whistle that pulled the girls out of the pool. He called the freestyle swimmers to the starting block.

"Oh, look, look! It's Watabe Kyoko!"

"Oh yeah, that girl that won first at nationals last year right?"

"Wow, so cool! She's so hot!"

Makoto smiled awkwardly at their comments. Haru just rolled his eyes, feeling annoyed by his teammates. Makoto laughed at Haru's response and then looked down at the pool. Next to Watabe was Kanade. They were both in the center lanes. Makoto lifted up his hand and waved at her.

"Shizumi-chan! Good luck!" he shouted.

Kanade glanced up at him, her face uncharacteristically serious. She gave him a determined smile before giving him a thumbs-up. She then took a step onto the starting block, her smile disappearing and a focused look replacing it. Makoto's eyes widened.

"Wow, I've never seen her so serious before," Makoto said in a low voice. Haru glanced at Makoto out of the corner of his eye.

"Wow, Watabe looks pissed…"

"It's because of who's beside her."

"W-Wait, isn't that…?"

Haru turned his head to Torii, who in return gave Haru a suspicious look.

"Take your marks!" the coach suddenly yelled.

All of the swimmers bent down at the starting block.

"Ready!"

Kanade exhaled, and closed her eyes.

The coach blew the whistle, and Kanade thrust herself off of the starting block. The men from each university started cheering for different teammates, a lot of cheers chanting Watabe's name. Makoto watched in amazement at Watabe's speed. She was flying down the lane with ease. The men and women from Makoto's university were cheering loudly for her.

Suddenly, a small body caught up to her. Makoto's eyes widened. The cheering suddenly stopped when she passed Watabe, reaching the far end first and making the turn quickly. Is that…

 _Kanade?!_

Makoto stood to his feet, his jaw dropping. She pushed her feet against the wall and it flung her far into her lane. She picked up the speed as she kept going, her arms thrusting through the water. Haru's eyes even widened when she saw her take the lead easily. She pulled ahead so quickly, it was almost as if she had endless stamina. She was already a full body ahead. The crowd no longer cheered, they only whispered to each other in confusion and shock.

Kanade pushed herself harder, each breath burning in her chest and she hurled her arms into the water with each stroke. She pulled ahead even further, and reached the starting block first. She slammed her hand against the wall and shot her head up. She reached for the edge of the pool and grabbed it with shaking hands and she hung her head, her shoulders jumping wildly.

Watabe reached the wall a few seconds later, also shooting her head up and staring at Kanade. Once she realized that she came in second, she ripped her goggles and swim cap from her head and crushed them in her fist, slamming it in the water and making a frustrated splash. She glared at Kanade, who paid her no attention as she clung to the wall.

"That was incredible," Torii whispered. Haru raised a brow at him, giving him an irritated look.

"She just beat Watabe-san!"

"Whoa, now she really looks pissed."

Makoto glanced down at Kanade, seeing her holding onto the wall for dear life. She slowly pulled herself up from the pool, her shoulders still quivering. She pulled her cap and goggles from her head and wobbled away from the starting block.

"Shizumi…" Makoto whispered. "Sh-Shizumi!" Makoto yelled.

Kanade whipped her head up and stared up at the stands. Makoto gave her a thumbs up and a huge smile. He saw Kanade's eyes widen and she returned a strained and tired smile. She lifted up her shaking arm and gave him a thumbs up. She then turned and hobbled into the locker room. Makoto smiled and slowly sat back down next to Haru, who eyed him carefully.

"She's really fast, Tachibana!" Torii said. Makoto smiled at him.

"I knew she was pretty good, but I never thought she was _this_ fast!" Makoto said. "She did so well!"

Haru stared down at Watabe, who glared at the locker rooms. He then glanced up at Makoto's face and his eyes widened. Makoto had a goofy grin on his face. It was a smile that he had never really seen before. Something burned inside Haru's chest at the sight, and he looked down at his lap, his hands slowly curling into fists.

* * *

Makoto, Haru, and Torii stayed sitting in the stands, watching the rest of the joint practice. Makoto kept looking down at his watch, waiting for Kanade to come out. She was still in the locker rooms, and had not come back after her race. He was starting to get a little anxious. The joint practice eventually came to a close, and the teams packed up their things to leave. Haru and Torii stood to their feet while Makoto stared down at his phone.

"Where's Shizumi?" Torii asked Makoto.

"I'm not sure. I'll shoot her a text real quick," Makoto said, and he pulled up her number to send her a text. As soon as he hit 'send,' he felt someone bump into him, causing him to drop his phone. "O-Oh, s-sorry!" Makoto said immediately. His eyes widened when he was face to face with Watabe. He cowered back slightly, feeling her raging gaze burn a whole through him. She lowered her brows and brushed past him.

"What's her problem?" Haru asked, picking up Makoto's phone.

"S-Scary," Makoto muttered. He grabbed his phone from Haru and slid it open.

 _1 New Message_

 _Kanade Shizumi_

 _To: Tachibana-kun_

 _Sorry, Tachibana-kun. I don't think I'll make it to dinner. Go ahead without me! I'll see you next week at class._

Makoto raised a brow, wondering why she suddenly canceled.

"What is it?" Haru asked. Makoto stared at his screen and then looked at the locker room door. "Makoto?" Haru called.

Makoto turned back to Haru and then stared down at his phone. "Uh, she said she can't come to dinner, and told us to go ahead without her…" Makoto said, a layer of disappointment coating his voice and face.

"Oh, that's too bad. Is she okay?" Torii asked. He glanced to Haru, raising a brow.

Makoto looked at the locker room again. "I… I'm not sure," he responded. "Her text seems okay, but…"

Haru watched as Makoto's face contorted into worry. He sighed. "She said to go, so let's go, then," Haru said bluntly.

"Huh?" Torii made a noise and watched Haru start to walk towards the door.

"W-Wait, Haru!" Makoto called, but Haru kept walking. Torii turned to Makoto and shrugged, and then ran after Haru. Makoto stared back at the locker room door. He shoved his phone in his pocket. "Wait up!"

* * *

 _Where is it, where is it?!_

Kanade rummaged through her duffle bag, her chest heaving, and her breaths strained. She started to wheeze, her lungs feeling like that were full of water, and her chest was on fire.

 _Oh no, I forgot to pack it!_

Kanade slumped against the wall and slid to the floor of the locker room, putting her hand to her chest. She heaved, trying to swallow in as much air as possible. She pushed her hand against her chest, feeling her heart pounding viciously against her ribcage.

 _Just slow down. Please just slow down._

A buzz in her bag caught her attention and she reached her shaking hand out to grab her phone.

 _1 New Message_

 _Tachibana-kun_

 _To: Kanade Shizumi_

 _Hey, we're ready to go to dinner. Are you okay?_

Kanade felt tears well up in her eyes and she quickly used her shaking fingers to type back a response. She flung her phone back in her bag, trying to choke back sobs as the pain increased in her chest and in her heart.


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you all for your continuing support for this! It is greatly appreciated.

If you guys like music, there is a certain song that I've been listening to whenever I write Makoto/Kanade scenes. I came across it and I thought that it represented them. Here's the link: watch?v=jbtel9K6fVY

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 7

* * *

"You're going to swim, right, Haru?"

Haru found himself at the starting block. Makoto was in the pool, frowning at Haru.

"Haru, you're going to swim with me, aren't you?" Makoto asked him.

"Makoto, what are you talking about?" Haru asked.

Makoto sighed and stared into the water. He turned around and started to swim down the lane.

"Wait, Makoto!" Haru tried to jump in after him, but his feet would not move. He turned around and saw Kanade standing behind, holding him still. "Hey, get off!"

Suddenly, the pool morphed into the ocean, and Haru watched Makoto swim out into a storm.

"Makoto, stop!" Haru called. Kanade's arms let go of Haru.

"You have to let him go, Nanase- _kun_ ," Kanade said from behind him. Haru whirled around and stared at Kanade, watching her as she popped some pills into her mouth. " _I'm_ going to lead him down a new path. A path without _you_."

She smirked at him and then put her hands on his chest. She shoved him backward into the ocean. He saw her body fade as his back hit the water.

….

Haru shot up from his sleep in a cold sweat, his chest jumping wildly from the nightmare. He glanced around. He was in his dorm room. Then, he realized that he was on the floor. He had fallen out of bed during his nightmare. He sighed and stood up from the cold floor and got back into his bed. He glared at his bed and clutched his sheets. He reached for his phone.

* * *

Makoto woke up drearily that Monday morning. His head pounded as he sat up to turn off his alarm. He pinched the edge of his nose, feeling a spring cold coming on. He moaned as he dragged himself out of bed. His phone buzzed in his hand and he looked down at it.

 _1 New Message_

 _Haru_

"Huh?" Makoto groaned sleepily. "Haru?"

 _To: Makoto_

 _Hey, are you working this weekend?_

Makoto blinked at the text a few times, wondering what Haru was up to. He was about to text back when his phone buzzed again, but this time it was a call. It was his mom. He clicked a button and answered the call.

"Hello?" he greeted groggily.

"Ah, good morning, honey!" Mrs. Tachibana's voice sounded over the phone. Her voice sounded a little strained. "Sorry, it's so early sweetie. Did I wake you?"

"Oh, no, you didn't," Makoto responded, rubbing his eyes. "What's up?"

"The twins want to tell you about their project due today. They wanted to call last night but I knew you had work, so they begged me to call you this morning."

"Ohh," Makoto said. He smiled and chuckled. "Sure, you can put them on."

There was the sound of muffling and then the sound of his siblings' happy voices.

"Onii-chan!" They both yelled. Makoto pulled the phone away briefly at their screams, feeling his pound against his skull.

"Hey, hey, don't yell! It's so early!" Makoto whined as he reached for his jeans.

"Sorry!" Ren apologized. Ran giggled softly.

"So, Onii-chan, we were working on our project all weekend and—"

Suddenly Ran started coughing, her voice sounding raspy and pained. Makoto listened to her coughs, his brows creasing with worry.

"Ran, are you okay?" Makoto asked.

"Y-Yeah, I think I just have a cold," Ran said. She sniffled. "A-Anyway, we—" Ran burst into another coughing fit.

"Ran?" Makoto whispered.

There was another muffled noise on the phone.

"Makoto, you still there?" It was Mrs. Tachibana's voice.

"Mom? Is Ran okay?" Makoto asked, his voice raising in a slight panic.

"Yeah, she came down with this weird cold last night. She isn't running a fever, so I think she'll be fine," she said.

Makoto nodded to no one in particular. "Okay. Just call me if it gets worse."

"Makoto, aren't your midterms coming up soon?" she asked.

"Uh," Makoto stuttered. He looked at his calendar, realizing that summer was just around the corner. Which almost meant that exams were coming up soon. "Y-Yeah, I guess I do."

He glanced down at his desk and looked at all of his opened letters. One in particular was his rent bill. It was a few weeks overdue. He sighed.

"I shouldn't worry you with things like colds, dear. You need to study and focus on your exams!" she said.

"Ah, you're right, but… I'd like to know if something is wrong, okay?"

"Of course, dear."

"Good. I'd love to talk more, but I really need to get to class."

"Alright, have a good day sweetie!"

"Thanks, mom!"

Makoto hung up the phone and pushed his phone in his pocket, forgetting about Haru's text. He quickly got dressed and headed for his first class. He was a little anxious today. He had not spoken to Kanade since the joint practice, and he was a little worried for her. As soon as he walked out of his apartment, he was hit with rain. He sighed in frustration, realizing how gloomy the weather has been. He took out his umbrella and headed to campus.

He quickly got to his class, took his normal seat, and waited. He watched as people started to flood the classroom. His eyes kept flitting back to the door, his gaze drawn to every movement that passed by. Soon, the classroom was full except for the seat next to Makoto. Makoto tapped his pencil on his notebook nervously, anxiously waiting. Then, the professor entered the room and shut the door behind him, locking it in the process. Makoto's brows creased with worry.

The professor turned to the podium and immediately started the lecture. Makoto could feel the strain on his shoulders and he reached up to massage the back of his neck. The professor seemed to be going fast today, cramming more information down on the slides as possible. Makoto's headache had started to grow into a sharp migraine. He sighed. Why did Ran get sick? Why were exams coming up? Where was Kanade? Why did Haru want to know…

 _Oh!_

Makoto pulled out his phone and quickly sent Haru back a text, letting him know about his work schedule. He asked Haru why, but Haru did not respond.

"This will be important for the exam, so make sure you know it."

The professor changed the slides and Makoto shot his head up in a panic, realizing he had missed the notes. He shoved his phone back in his pocket and scrambled to catch up.

Once class was over, Makoto slumped in his chair and massaged his temples. It was definitely going to be a long day. He around the room, watching the classroom empty and seeing the professor pack up his things.

"E-Excuse me!"

Makoto recognized that voice. He glanced towards the door and saw Kanade shoving through the crowd of students and huffing up to the professor. She was wearing shorts and a plain t-shirt, both of which were soaked, and her drenched black hair was pulled back into a ponytail. Her shoes squeaked when she walked, almost slipping on the tile floor. Makoto shot up from his seat, ignoring his headache, and started packing up his things.

"I-I'm so sorry, professor!" Kanade said, bowing, water flinging from her hair and onto the floor. "Is there any way I could get the notes?"

"Ask one of your peers," he said simply, and he left Kanade standing at the front of the room. Kanade straightened and stared down at the floor.

"Sh-Shizumi-chan!" Makoto called, walking down the steps. She turned her head towards Makoto and smiled when she saw his face.

"Ah, Tachibana-kun!" she shouted. She rushed towards him, but her slick shoes slipped on the tile floor, and she fell forward.

"Shizumi!" Makoto yelled, and he lunged forward to grab her hand, preventing her from falling. She stared up at Makoto's eyes, feeling his hot hand holding hers. She stood up straight and smiled at him.

"H-Hey! Th-Thanks for that!" Kanade said, reluctantly letting go of his hand.

"Y-Yeah," Makoto responded. "Are you okay? Where have you been? What happened at the joint practice?"

Kanade blinked at him, and then played with her fingers. "I was just really tired. And I had a doctor's appointment this morning, so that's why I was late. I kinda got caught in the rain," Kanade said, chuckling and playing with her wet hair. "Sorry I didn't let you know," she apologized. She looked up at him, seeing his pale face. "I didn't worry you too much, did I? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Ehh?!" Makoto panicked. "G-G-Ghost?!"

Kanade laughed at him, bending over and holding her stomach. "You're so funny, Tachibana-kun!"

Makoto's eyes widened at her laugh, letting the sound bounce around his ears. He loved that laugh. He felt a blush rise on his cheeks and he smiled fondly at her.

"You're sure you're okay?" she asked when she calmed down.

"It's just been a long day already, I guess," Makoto said. He reached up and rubbed his temple softly. "Got a killer headache."

Kanade's smile faded into a sympathetic frown. "Oh, that's no good. Have you eaten this morning?"

Makoto smiled nervously. "I uh…" he paused. "I actually ran out of food this past weekend. I haven't really…" he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. Kanade raised her brows at him, finishing the sentence in her head.

"T-Tachibana-kun..." she said softly. She suddenly got a determined look on her face. "Let's go eat, Tachibana-kun!" she said, grabbing his wrist and pulling him out of the classroom.

"Huh?! Shizumi-chan!" Makoto said as he was dragged out of the room.

They ended up back at the same café down the street from the university. Kanade ordered a few teas and some chocolate pastries, paying before Makoto could protest.

* * *

On the following Thursday, Makoto got called into work early, and he had to bail on his swim session with Kanade. She understood and waved him off, wishing him luck.

The restaurant was incredibly crowded that night, and a few of the regular waiters called out at the last minute. Makoto ended up being one of the two waiters there that night.

Makoto started waiting tables, feeling his splitting headache start to affect his job. He dropped a tray full of food and ended up having to clean it all from the floor. His customers were growing impatient, and the cooks were angry that he wasted food. He slipped on his way back to the kitchen, hitting his knee roughly against the cupboards. He hissed when he stood back to his feet to grab more food.

A few of the customers were getting rowdy, treating the staff harshly. The manager told Makoto to ask them to leave. Makoto fidgeted with his sleeves, nervous about the confrontation, but he walked up to the customers anyway. They were a little drunk.

"E-Excuse me, sirs," Makoto said. "You—You're being a little too loud, and th-the manager would like you all t-to leave."

One of the guys glared back at Makoto, holding his drink. "Are you going to make me?" he asked. Makoto could smell the alcohol on his breath. The smell made his brain almost split, sending nausea directly to his stomach.

"I could call the police," Makoto threatened, feeling a little bolder.

The man stood to his feet and reared his fist back, punching Makoto on his cheek. Makoto fell backwards, hitting the floor hard. The headache was overwhelming now, and he held his cheek in pain. The manager came running out from the back and grabbed the man who punched Makoto, throwing him out.

Makoto slowly got up from the ground, feeling his hands shaking. His breath struggled to flow from his lungs, and his chest felt tight.

 _What's… what's happening_? He thought.

"Tachibana, are you all right?" the manager asked, walking over to him.

Makoto held a hand to his chest. "E-Excuse me," he said, and he rushed to the bathroom.

He locked the door behind him and sat down on the floor, gasping out a harsh breath. His body began to shake as his limbs stiffened up, bringing tears to his eyes with each gasping breath. It felt like the same night that he had tried to rescue Rei. Makoto could tell what was happening.

He was having a panic attack.

He reached for his phone and slid it open, dialing Haru's number. It rang a few times before going to voicemail, and Makoto threw his phone on the ground. He pulled his knees to his chest and tried to catch his breath. This night could not end soon enough.

* * *

Makoto woke up the next morning with a sore knee, cheek, and back. He groaned as he rolled over and picked up his phone to turn off the alarm. The bright light aggravated his eyes, bringing back a dull headache behind his eyes. He squinted to focus on the screen.

 _1 New Message_

 _Haru_

 _To: Makoto_

 _Sorry I missed your call. Everything okay?_

Makoto quickly typed out something.

 _To: Haru_

 _Yeah, I just… I kind of had a panic attack at the restaurant._

Makoto paused. He really did not want Haru to worry. He erased his message and typed something again.

 _To: Haru_

 _Yeah, it was nothing. Just wanted to chat._

He hit send and then threw his phone in his backpack, reaching up immediately to dig his palms into his eyes.

His phone buzzed from his backpack, and Makoto sighed, wondering if it was Haru. He reached and looked at the screen, his eyes widening in surprise.

It was his mom.

 _To: Makoto_

 _We're taking Ran to the doctor's today. She seems to have gotten worse. I will keep you updated._

Makoto knitted his brows together after reading her message. He sent back a reply and quickly got ready for the day. After getting dressed, he hurried to class. He tried to shake off his worries about his sister and he rushed to take his seat. He massaged his neck and sighed again. He rested his head in his hands, trying to ease his headache by shielding his eyes from the light. The sound of footsteps rang in his ears and he felt someone sit next to him. He lifted his head from his hands and saw Kanade sit down next to him.

"Good morning, Tachi—"

Kanade stopped talking and stared at him. Her eyes widened and her brows lowered. She reached out her hand, a frown painting her lips.

"Tachibana-kun…" she whispered. Her hand touched his bruised cheek. Makoto jumped at her touch. "What happened?" she asked softly. Her thumb gently brushed against his cheek. He saw her eyes start to shake with worry.

Makoto's heart sunk into his stomach like a rock. He had never seen her look so worried before. He frowned slightly, feeling guilty.

"It's nothing really, Shizumi-chan," Makoto said. He forced a smile. "I'm fine."

Kanade pushed on the bruise on his cheek, and Makoto winced, unintentionally moving his head away from her hand. Kanade's worried face hardened into an accusing stare.

"This isn't nothing," Kanade said bluntly. She gently put her hand back on his cheek, moving his head so she could see the bruise better. "Did someone hit you?"

Makoto forced another smile. "M-Maybe… yeah," he finally answered.

"What happened?" Kanade asked, lowering her hand. Makoto rolled his shoulders.

"The restaurant was a little too crowded last night. Lots of, uh, rowdy customers," Makoto said. He chuckled nervously, but Kanade's expression did not change. "Don't worry about me. Really! I'm fine."

Makoto turned his head back to the front of the room and released a quiet sigh. Kanade glanced at him one more time and then turned her head back to the front. The professor had finished setting up his materials and he began his lecture. During the lecture, he passed out graded quizzes from earlier in the week. Makoto received his quiz back and he frowned. His score was a 68. He hung his head and sighed.

Kanade glanced over at him and saw his quiz. She saw him hung his head, and she saw the pained expression on his face. She glanced down at her own quiz and saw that she had scored a 100.

* * *

The following week did not go better. Makoto got called in every night to work early, only to leave late. He received a paycheck, but it only covered his last rent's check and some food for the week. He nodded off during lectures, and Kanade kept her eye on him, noticing how distant he had started to become.

One day in class, the professor asked for the students to turn in their homework, and Makoto pulled out his and realized he had not finished it. He hung his head and put his homework sheet back in his bag. Kanade pursed her lips and looked down at her finished paper. She grabbed a pencil and erased her name at the top. She carefully wrote Makoto's name instead and passed in the homework.

Later that day, Makoto got a call that he did not have to go to work that night. He sighed, knowing he needed the money for rent. Kanade, seeing his stressed expression, invited him swimming.

In the locker room, Makoto pulled on his jammers with a smile. He was happy to be swimming with Kanade again. Her sweet words still rang in his ears, warming up his chest. He pulled off his shirt and put it in his bag. Just as he was about to zip up his bag, he heard his phone go off. He rummaged through his bag and pulled it out, reading the text.

It was from his mom.

 _To: Makoto_

 _Ran has pneumonia. The doctor says it should be fine._

That was all she said, and Makoto knew that when his mom said little, that she was worried. Makoto took a deep breath and texted back a response before putting his phone away. He headed out to the pool and met up with Kanade.

"Ready, Tachibana-kun?" she asked with a smile on her face. Makoto forced a smile on his face and nodded. "Then let's go!"

Kanade dove into the water and started to swim up her lane. Makoto's smile faded, his thoughts immediately retreating to Ran. Was she really okay? Is this serious? He stepped onto the starting block and put his goggles on over his eyes. He took a deep breath and dove into the water. He started to move his arms through the water, his thoughts flitting back to his apartment, to Ran, to his grades.

 _The midterms are coming up. I need to study more,_ Makoto thought.

He swam down the lane slowly, creating wide splashes.

 _If I don't pay the rent soon, my landlord will probably want to kick me out._

He made it to the other wall and made the turn.

 _I haven't spent much time with Haru lately. I'm… worried about our friendship._

He pushed through the water at an agonizingly slow pace.

 _Ran… 'the doctor says it should be fine?' Mom, I know you're worried. And when you're worried, it means that it's serious. Ran… Ran…_

Suddenly his vision started to get fuzzy. His lungs constricted, his breaths becoming raspy and strained. His body froze and he felt himself start to sink. It was happening again, just like in the restaurant. He tried to reach the surface, but could not get his limbs to move. He felt pain in his chest, and his eyes closed, his vision fading to black.

* * *

 _"ibana-kun! Tachibana-kun!"_

Makoto heard a voice calling him. It was familiar. Who was it again?

 _"Tachibana! Tachibana!"_

The name is right on the tip of his tongue, but he's so tired. He just wants to sleep.

 _"Makoto!"_

Makoto's eyes fluttered open, a blurry image of Kanade hovering over him. He squinted, feeling pain in his chest. His vision started to clear and he saw Kanade hovering over him with a horrified look on her face. She was no longer wearing a swim cap or goggles, letting her black hair flow down by her shoulders.

"Sh-Shizumi?" Makoto whispered.

Kanade visibly relaxed, relief flooding over her body. She was holding his head with one hand, and another hand was resting on his bare chest. She felt his chest move with his breaths, and she let out a shuddered sigh.

"T-Tachibana…" she whimpered. "I was so worried. I just saw you sinking and you didn't move."

Makoto stared up at her shaking eyes. "O-Oh," he said. He mind finally cleared, realizing that Kanade had dragged him out of the pool by herself. He slowly leaned up, putting a small smile on his face. Kanade moved her hand off of his chest. "I'm sorry, Shizumi-chan. I guess I just… blacked out." Makoto chuckled nervously, but Kanade did not smile. She only stared at him with widened eyes. "I've been pretty tired lately."

"You could have drowned!" Kanade shouted. Makoto's smile immediately fell and he stared at her. "What's going on, Tachibana?"

"Huh?" Makoto asked. Suddenly, all of his thoughts right before he blacked out spilled into his mind. He remembered how sick Ran was, and how he was not working enough hours of his stressful job. "O-Oh," Makoto stuttered. "Like I said, I'm just tired. Really, it was foolish of me." Makoto turned to Kanade and gave her a smile. "And you got me out of the pool by yourself. I must have been really heavy!" He chuckled lightly.

Kanade put on a small smile. "Well, I _am_ a trained lifeguard," she said. She glanced at the ground, keeping her smile, but she saw her hands shaking in her lap.

"I'm sorry to have worried you," Makoto apologized. He stood to his feet slowly. "I think I should head back. I'll see you next week," Makoto said, waving at her.

"T-Tachibana..."

Kanade lifted a hand to reach out to him but he slipped away and out of her grasp. Her eyes widened when she saw him disappear into the locker room. Her outstretched hand shook in the air.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

* * *

"Haru, don't you have a swim meet coming up?"

"Yeah."

Makoto and Haru were at a café near Haru's university. Makoto was highlighting some things in his notebook to study, his eyes glued to the page. The stress was really starting to get to him, but he tried not to let it show. Haru took a bite of his lunch and then looked at the space on the table in front of Makoto. He had only ordered a small tea and no food.

"Aren't you going to eat something?" Haru asked. Makoto kept writing in his notebook.

"Ah, well, no," Makoto said. "I'm not that hungry."

Haru blinked at him a few times. "Are you okay?" he asked. Makoto glanced up at Haru and gave him a strained smile.

"I'm fine!" Makoto said cheerfully. He glanced back down at his notebook, stress weighing down on his shoulders.

Haru's features hardened. "Don't lie," he said softly.

Makoto froze and looked at him, his eyes wide and jaw dropped slightly. "Haru…" he whispered.

"You'd tell me if you're having a rough time, wouldn't you?" Haru asked. Makoto knitted his brows together and hummed, nodding. "Well?"

Makoto bit his lip. Should he tell Haru about Ran? About the restaurant? About the bills piling up? About his panic attacks?

About how he almost drowned last night?

"I just have exams coming up soon. Feeling a little stressed, I guess," Makoto said. Well, it was not a lie.

Haru raised a brow. "What about Shizumi?"

Makoto looked at Haru, his eyes widening. "Shizumi?"

"Yeah," Haru said. "Is there something that is stressing you out about her?"

"Huh?"

"Is she causing you stress?"

Makoto looked at him strangely, raising a brow. "No?" Makoto said plainly. "She hasn't caused me stress."

Haru frowned and looked back at his lunch. "Fine," he said, picking up his water to take a sip. "Just… be careful."

"I am, Haru," Makoto whined.

Haru paused, watching Makoto wipe his face. "Have you found a roommate yet?" Haru asked. Makoto shook his head, and Haru gave him a look.

"I know, Haru," Makoto sighed. He glanced at Haru and smiled. "Don't worry, I'll get it done. Promise."

Haru's face softened, seeing Makoto's strained smile smeared on his face. "Okay."

* * *

"Tachibana, go wipe off the counter!" the manager yelled.

"Yes, sir!" Makoto called back.

It had been another busy Friday at the restaurant, and Makoto had made several mistakes. He messed up a few orders and spilled a tray of drinks.

 _At least my shift is over,_ Makoto thought as he rubbed the cloth over the counter. The restaurant was now empty, the sound of only him and his manager rummaging throughout the building.

"I've got to run. Lock up," the manager said, walking out of the building.

Makoto sighed and finished wiping the counter. Once the rest of his things were put back in place, he headed out the door and firmly locked it. He turned to walk down the street but immediately bumped into someone.

"O-Oh, e-excuse me I—" Makoto stopped talking when he saw a short girl standing in front of him. She had black hair, blue eyes… "Shizumi-chan?"

"H-Hey, Tachibana-kun!" Kanade said, waving at him with a big smile.

Makoto could not help but smile. "What are you doing here? It's late!"

"I was… just in the neighborhood. You know… taking a walk?"

"This far from your place?"

Kanade scratched her cheek. "Well, you know…" She hesitated and then dropped her hand by her side. "I wanted to see how you were doing."

"Hm? See how I was doing?" Makoto asked.

Kanade nodded and started to walk down the street, with Makoto following. She stared at him with a worried smile. "I was a little worried. When you left the other day from our swim session you…" She stopped. "You didn't seem like yourself."

Makoto winced. "O-Oh… sorry," Makoto apologized.

"Don't apologize!" Kanade shouted, pointing a finger at him. Makoto flinched, but smiled and nodded at her. "Anyway, I thought, maybe you can crash at my place? I just bought some movies, a-and snacks!" Kanade held up a plastic bag to show him. "I thought maybe we could have a chill night. To vent and complain about stupid school and work and stuff."

Makoto smiled brightly at her, the streetlamps reflecting off his eyes. He tilted his head at her. "That sounds good," he said. He reached into his pocket to grab his phone. But when he reached into an empty pocket, he stopped walking and patted his pockets.

"What's wrong?" Kanade asked, stopping to look at him.

"I think I left my phone at my apartment," Makoto whined. He thought about Ran and her condition, wanting to know if his mom has any news. "I kind of need it just in case my family calls…"

Kanade hesitated, her lips pursing and her eyes staring at the ground. Then, an idea hit her, and her eyes sparkled with a new determination. She whirled around to Makoto and put on a smile.

"I guess we're just going to have this movie night at your place, then!" Kanade said. She turned and started walking down the street, Makoto staring after her, his mind still trying to process her words. "Come on, Tachibana! I have no idea where you live!" she called from over her shoulder. Makoto jumped and then ran after her and walked next to her.

After a train ride, they walked a few blocks to Makoto's apartment building. A few quick steps up the staircase and they arrived at his door. There was a letter taped to his door. It was yet another bill, demanding Makoto to pay his rent soon. He ripped it from the door before Kanade could see it and crumpled it in his pocket. Ge fished out his keys and opened the door, leading Kanade into his small apartment.

"Sorry about the mess," he apologized, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's a little small…"

"I think it's nice," Kanade said, following him into the living room. "It just must be hard to live this far. Don't you think you should move closer?"

Makoto sighed and walked into the kitchen. He started making tea. "I've looked, but nothing is cheap enough."

Kanade furrowed her brows and fiddled with her fingers in her lap. "Is there any way I can help?"

Makoto popped his head out from the kitchen and gave her a smile. "No, that's not necessary. I… I can handle it."

Kanade nodded at him, a bit of uncertainty in her smile. "If you're sure…" she whispered back.

* * *

Makoto put down his tray in the kitchen and sighed, digging the heel of his palm into his eye. He was exhausted, feeling his body starting to shut down. He had an earlier shift today. The manager had asked him to come in for the lunch shift. Makoto wanted to say no at first because he would miss classes, but then he realized he needed the money.

It was almost dinnertime, and the restaurant was almost empty. It was typical for the middle of the week. The manager walked over to Makoto and told him to go home, and Makoto gladly left. He felt sad that he could not swim with Kanade this evening.

The walk back to his apartment was long and dreary. Once he was at his apartment, he opened his door and stepped on an envelope on the floor. It had been shoved underneath his door. He picked it up and opened it. His eyes widened when he read the big, red letters at the top.

EVICTION NOTICE

The paper shook in Makoto's hand.

 _Eviction? I'm… being evicted?_

Makoto took a deep breath and walked into his apartment. He headed straight for his bedroom, ignoring the hunger in his stomach, and threw the paper on his desk. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. He felt his chest start to hurt as his pulse increased.

 _I'll figure this out. It'll be fine. I just need to do my work first._

Makoto sat down at his desk and flipped open his notebook. He grabbed a pencil and stared down at his notes. He tapped his pencil on the paper, his eyes flitting back to the eviction paper on his desk. He frowned hard. He glanced back at his notes, trying to read them, but his mind was so distracted that he could not concentrate. He put down his pencil and rested his head in his hands.

Then, his phone rang, making Makoto jump in his seat. He dug into his pocket and pulled out his phone. It was his mom.

It was his mom.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Makoto…" she whimpered. Makoto felt his heart skip a beat in his chest.

"M-Mom? W-What's wrong?" Makoto asked. He heard a soft sob.

"It's Ran, she… her illness got worse and…" Mrs. Tachibana hiccupped. "She… fainted today and hit her head. We're at the hospital now."

Makoto felt his heart leap into his throat. "Is… Is she going to be okay?" Makoto asked softly.

"The doctors say she's fine, but she's unconscious…" she said. Makoto released a shaky sigh and gripped his pants at his side.

"I… I should come home," Makoto said.

"No, no," Mrs. Tachibana argued. "You have tests, and school, and your job. You can't just leave. It… it's fine, sweetie."

"But mom, I should be there. I need to—"

"Son." Suddenly his dad's deep voice came on the phone, the sound ringing in his ears. Makoto took a moment to breathe before responding.

"Dad," Makoto breathed.

"Everything is fine and will be fine," Mr. Tachibana said. "You need to focus on your studies. We will take care of things here."

Makoto gritted his teeth, his hand by his side clenching into an aggravated fist.

"But dad—"

"Don't worry, Makoto," he said. "It will be fine. We will call you when we hear any news."

Makoto hesitated, feeling his stomach churning wildly, his heart beating against his ribcage. He wanted to be home, be with Ran and hold her hand, read her stories, comfort Ren. He wanted to drop everything and run back home, drop his job, his studies…

"Alright," he managed to croak out. His throat felt tight as his eyes brimmed with tears. This is not how thinga were supposed to go.

"Take care, son," he dad said, and he hung up.

Makoto felt his arm go limp by his side, his phone almost slipping out of his hand. He took a deep breath and let his phone drop to the floor, it bouncing off of the carpet and landing by the wall. He took a seat at his desk and glanced back down, staring at the eviction notice paper and his notes. He shakily picked up his pencil and tried to write in his notebook. His hand started to shake more violently, making his writing scribbled and illegible.

Makoto squinted, trying to see the words on the page, but they became fuzzy. Makoto closed his eyes for a moment and then reopened them, trying to lock on the words in front of him.

 _I've got to get this done. Come on. Focus._

Makoto tried to write again, when suddenly, the words on the papers started to swirl. Makoto dropped his pencil, feeling dizzy. His breath became strained, and his chest felt like it was on fire. He raised his hand to grip his shirt around his heart, willing the pain to cease.

 _Not again,_ Makoto thought. He abruptly stood up from his seat, the chair falling backwards and hitting the floor with a thud. He glanced around the spinning bedroom for his phone and saw it on the floor. He took a step towards it, but his shaking leg buckled underneath him and he fell. He landed on the floor with his shaking forearms. He tried to get up, but his body would not cooperate, his legs and arms fighting to keep him on the ground. When he struggled to move, he realized that this attack was worse than the others.

He needed help.

He crawled towards his phone and reached for it with shaking fingers. After grabbing it, he slid it open. Through squinted eyes and pained gasps, he searched for Haru's number. He dialed his number frantically and put the phone to his ear. It rang five times with no answer.

 _Oh come on, Haru. Please, answer. I'm sorry I didn't tell you._

Makoto tried again and again, but still no answer. His shaking started to wrack his body, sending violent tremors up his spine and through his limbs. He gripped his phone in his hand, trying to will the shaking away.

 _I'm going to pass out if this keeps up. I need to try again._

Makoto brought up his phone to call Haru when it started to buzz in his hand. He looked down at the screen, squinting to stop the swirling. His eyes widened at the caller ID.

 _Kanade Shizumi_

He answered the phone with a strained "hello."

"Ah, h-hey, Tachibana-kun!" her cheerful voice rang on the other side. "So I'm in the area, and I was wondering if you wanted to grab dinner or something? I mean, I just happened to be on this side of town, it's not like I'm stalking you or anything…"

Kanade giggled nervously, waiting for Makoto's response. Makoto took a deep, shuddering breath and tried to even out his shaking. But they only got worse.

"Sh-Shizumi…" he whimpered.

There was a pause. "T-Tachibana? What's wrong?"

Makoto gasped for air. "Please…" he croaked. "Please… help."

"I'm on my way."

* * *

Kanade ran up all the flights of stairs to Makoto's apartment and she burst through the front door, panting. She was glad it was unlocked.

"Tachibana-kun?!" she yelled.

"H-Here…" came a fragile squeak from the bedroom.

Kanade ran to his bedroom and opened the door. Her eyes widened when she saw Makoto on the ground, shaking and holding himself.

"Tachibana!" she yelled, and she ran over to help him up. He released a shuddering breath as she lifted up his torso.

"Sh-Shizumi…" he whimpered again.

He held onto her arms, his muscles tensed. Kanade gazed down at him, his usual green eyes now swirling with panic, with sweat forming on his forehead. His shaking started to take its toll on him, making his chest heave for more air. Kanade frowned and grit her teeth.

Kanade immediately recognized what was happening.

She pulled his arm over her shoulder and slowly pulled him to his feet. She struggled under his weight, but she managed to drag him to his bed. He flopped down on the bed, almost dragging her with him.

Kanade immediately cradled his upper body in her small arms. He gripped her arms as he shook, his fingers twisting into the sleeves of her shirt. She rubbed his shoulders and combed her fingers through his hair. She held him tightly as his body shook and he gasped out raspy breaths.

"You have to breathe," she told him. "Look at me, Tachibana." Makoto forced his eyes open and stared into hers. "Good. Now breathe. In… out." Makoto gasped in a ragged, long breath. "Good. Again. In… out."

Kanade continued to hold Makoto, rubbing his head, his arms, and his neck. She leaned her head against his while he breathed, forcing his eyes to lock with hers.

"You're doing good, Tachibana. Keep breathing. Deep breaths," Kanade said. Makoto took another breath, this breath more even than the last. His chest rose and fell calmly. "Good."

After what felt like an eternity, Makoto calmed down. He let go of her arms and let his head fall back into her lap. He stared up at the ceiling and draped his arm over his eyes. Kanade watched him, placing her hand on his shoulder and rubbing gently.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly. Makoto took a deep breath, feeling his cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

"Yeah," he hummed. "I'm sorry," he apologized. He removed his arm from his eyes and rested it over his stomach. Kanade wiped a stray tear from the corner of his eye.

"Don't apologize," Kanade whispered. "What happened?"

Makoto squinted his eyes into pained slits, his face scrunching up in pain. He looked away from her, and his hands curled into fists.

"There's been a lot going on," he said. Kanade squeezed his shoulder, encouraging him to continue. After a pause and a deep breath, Makoto stared sadly at the wall and responded. "I can't afford this place. I couldn't keep up with the rent and well… now I'm being evicted."

"Evicted?" Kanade repeated.

"Yeah. This weekend," Makoto responded. He took a deep breath and leaned up from her lap. Kanade helped push him up, her hands steady on his sweaty back. He gasped and leaned against the wall next to his bed. He wiped the sweat from his forehead. "I couldn't find a roommate to help with the costs, so that was my own fault." He rubbed the back of his neck. "The midterms coming up are stressing me out a little, too," he admitted. "And my job isn't making it easier... And…"

Kanade watched him as his shoulders began to shake lightly, and he put a hand up to cover his eyes. She grabbed one of his shoulders and squeezed, trying to calm the tremors.

"My… my sister is really sick," he choked out.

"Your sister?" Kanade repeated. "What's wrong?" Makoto wiped his eyes and sighed.

"It started out as a cold, but it turned into pneumonia. Then, today she… she fainted because of her sickness and hit her head. She's unconscious."

"That's terrible…" Kanade whispered. "Is she going to be okay?"

"My parents and the doctors said she would be, but… I'm worried," Makoto answered.

Makoto pulled his knees to his chest and rested his chin on his forearms. She rubbed his hunched back gently, her hand feeling the taut muscles underneath his shirt. They remained quiet for a while, Makoto trying to gain control over his trembling shoulders.

Kanade glanced around the quiet room and saw the array of different papers stacked on his desk. She peered over and saw his eviction notice sitting open on his desk. She winced, seeing the bills lying beside it. She glanced back at Makoto and saw him still trembling, fear and stress weighing down on his shoulders.

 _There must be something I can do to help..._ Kanade thought. She glanced around the room one more time, seeing the eviction notice once again. A thought started brewing in her mind.

Then, Kanade gasped and looked at Makoto.

"Tachibana-kun, I have an idea!" she exclaimed. Makoto lifted his head from his arms and looked at her, his brows rising in curiosity. "You should move into my place!"

Makoto's jaw dropped and his eyes widened. "Ehh?!"

Kanade smiled at him. His reaction was closer to him being like his normal self, and she loved seeing his flustered face. "Yeah! It'll be closer to school, and," she stood to her feet. "And I can get you a job at the rec center! I'm sure my old man would love to start a teaching program there for kids!" Kanade waved her arms in the air with excitement.

"Yeah! It'll be closer to school, and-" She hopped off of his bed and stood to her feet. "And I can get you a job at the rec center! I'm sure my old man would love to start a teaching program there for kids!" Kanade waved her arms in the air with excitement.

"Sh-Shizumi-chan…" he started. "I can't ask you to do that for me. It's too much of a burden."

"Nonsense!" She said, putting her hands on her hips and giving him a big smile. "You're my friend and I want to help you. I'll help you move your things starting tomorrow!"

Makoto stared up at her, feeling his heart fluttering in his chest. Her cheeky grin and wide eyes forced a smile to creep up on his face, spreading warmth to his body.

"O-Okay, I'll do it," he said. Kanade's smile widened her eyes stared at him fondly. She nodded.

"Also," Kanade said, her wide grin falling into a more serious smile. "I think… I think you should go home and be with your family and your sister."

Makoto's heart jumped and he looked at her with concerned eyes. "But what about classes and—"

"I'll take care of it," she said. "You just go home and be with your sister. Give me your key so I can start moving your things tomorrow." She outstretched her hand.

Makoto stared at her for a moment, feeling his heart painfully throb inside his chest at her sentiment. He felt tears well up in his eyes. He reached up and wiped off his eyes before reaching into his pocket. He handed her his apartment key, and then immediately went back to wiping his eyes. He tried to thank her, but his throat felt clogged and full, unable to say anything save a few restricted sobs. Kanade smiled at him and reached out her hand to touch his shoulder.

"It'll be okay," she said. She walked towards his bedroom door. "I'll make us some dinner, okay? Just sit tight, Tachibana-kun."

"M…Makoto."

Kanade stopped in her tracks and whirled around to meet his gaze. There was a blush on his cheeks, and a few stray tears sliding out of the corner of his eyes. He held his knees tighter.

"C-Call me Makoto," he repeated. Kanade's cheeks dusted pink.

"Th-Then, you can call me Kanade," she said.

"Okay," he said. She turned to leave when Makoto called out to her. "K-Kanade!" he called. She jumped, feeling shivers shoot down her spine. The way he said her name rolled perfectly off of his tongue. She turned back and looked at him, his face now smiling more brightly than it had in weeks. "Thank you, Kanade."

Kanade smiled back, feeling relieved. "You're welcome, Makoto."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

* * *

"Only a few more weeks until we see Mako-chan and Haru-chan!"

"I know! I think Onii-chan will be here, too."

"Wha! Rin-chan?!"

"Rin-san is coming?"

The whole Iwatobi swim club was eating lunch on the roof. Gou had warned the first-years about their lunches and eating habits, but of course, Nagisa had his usual bread. Gou had already scolded him, making the first-years laugh.

"Yeah! Onii-chan said something about maybe coming back for a week," Gou said.

"Yayy!" Nagisa shouted, raising his fist into the air.

"Only for a week? I guess he won't really be able to help us properly train then," Rei said as he adjusted his glasses.

"Ooh, that reminds me!" Gou said. She pulled out paper from her bag and opened up a familiar map. "We need to discuss our training camp plans!"

"Ooooh! On those islands again, Gou-chan?!" Nagisa said, leaning forward to look at the map.

Gou nodded happily. "That's right! The camp a few years ago really worked well. I think it'll be good for you all to work up your stamina again."

"Ohh, I can't wait!" Nagisa said. He looked at Rei. "Rei-chan, I can't let you out of my sight this time!"

Rei deadpanned. "And what exactly to you mean by that Nagisa-kun? Do you really think I am so childish as to commit the same error as last time? I have learned, you know. You should have more faith in me, Nagisa-kun."

Nagisa puffed out his cheeks. "Oh, Rei-chan, you know what I'm saying! Don't be so mean!" He rubbed his head on Rei's shoulder.

"Nagisa-kun!"

"A-Anyway," Gou interrupted. "I'll ask Makoto-senpai and Haruka-senpai if they want to come along. It might be a nice vacation for them!"

"Wha! Inviting them to come with us?! That would be great!" Nagisa shouted.

"Nagisa-kun, you're too loud," Rei scolded.

"So, I was thinking that maybe we could discuss our regimen," Gou said. She took out a picture of the three islands and showed the first years. "What we did last time was swim the distance in between each island. The distance between each is one kilometer, which will equal three kilometers a day."

The first-years' faces went pale.

"Th-Three kilometers?!"

"Every day?!"

"In the ocean?" Dai asked calmly.

"Yep!" Gou said. "The ocean!"

"Isn't that… kinda dangerous?" Dai asked, twiddling his thumbs.

Rei and Nagisa exchanged strained glances. They both turned their backs to the rest of the group.

"If Mako-chan goes, do you think he'll be okay?" Nagisa whispered.

"I'm not sure," Rei answered. Nagisa glanced down at the ground, wringing his wrists. "Maybe if Haruka-senpai is with him, he'll be fine."

"We'll be there for him too, Rei-chan!" Nagisa said a little too loudly. Rei waved his hands, trying to get Nagisa to quiet down.

"We'll keep an eye out for our team, _and_ for Makoto-senpai," Rei said. Nagisa nodded fiercely.

"Hello? Nagisa-kun, Rei-kun!" Gou called. They both turned around and awkwardly smiled. "Jeez, won't you pay attention?"

"Sorry for the interruption, Gou-san," Rei apologized. "Please continue."

"Right. As I was saying," Gou said. "I already have contacted Coach Sasabe about transportation. And, I have a surprise!"

"Surprise?! What's the surprise?!" Nagisa asked.

Gou put her hands on her hips and smiled. "I'm glad you asked, Nagisa-kun! This year, you won't have to worry about tents! Since we made it to nationals last year, out team got a budget! Which means, I was able to get us some lodging."

Nagisa stood to his feet. "No way! No sleeping in tents this year? Gou-chan, you're the best manager ever!" Nagisa ran over and threw his arms around Gou. She laughed.

"Okay, okay, Nagisa-kun!"

"Ohh, so we don't have to ask Makoto-senpai for his tents?" Rei asked.

"Nope!" Gou responded.

"Who are these 'senpais' anyway?" Dai asked, bringing his knees to his chest.

Rei adjusted his glasses. "Oh well, they're our—"

"Don't spoil it, Rei-chan!" Nagisa said, pouting and putting his hands on his hips. He turned to Dai. "Don't worry, Dai-kun! You'll meet them both soon!"

* * *

"Ugh, I'm pooped!" Makoto said, plopping down on the couch. He laid down and groaned. Kanade giggled, walking out of the kitchen. She leaned on the back of the couch and stared down at Makoto.

"Hey, your last shift is tomorrow!" Kanade said. "Just hang in there. One more day won't kill you."

Makoto whined and stretched his arms up above his head, the hem of his shirt riding up. "I know, I know!" he said. He put his arms over his eyes. "I just can't wait for it to be over," he whined again.

Kanade rolled her eyes and shook her head playfully at him. Then her eyes wandered to the bottom of his shirt. His shirt had ridden up slightly, revealing a sliver of his toned stomach. Kanade felt her heart jump in her chest. She glanced at Makoto's face. After seeing that it was still covered by his arms, she smirked and lowered her hand. She poked his bare stomach near his hipbone. Makoto jumped and squeaked, immediately moving his arms to cover his stomach. Kanade put her hand to her mouth and snickered at his reaction, and Makoto blushed and glanced away from her.

"I-I-I'm a l-little… ticklish," Makoto said softly. Kanade raised a brow and smirked.

"Oh really?" Kanade asked slyly. She walked around the couch and hovered over him. "Just how ticklish?" she asked.

Makoto cowered and held his sides harder. "Uh… not… very?" he said timidly.

"Oh? Let's just see about that!"

Kanade reached for Makoto's neck and started to tickle him.

"W-Wait, n-n-no, stop!" Makoto laughed.

Makoto flinched and moved his hands up to push her hands out of the way. He covered his neck with his hands, and Kanade moved down to his torso. Her fingertips prodded his sides and made him jump at every touch. He tried to push her hands out of the way, but she managed to keep his hands back. His stomach caught her eye and she reached for the hem of his shirt, pulling it up slightly.

"W-Wait, don't!" Makoto begged.

Kanade put her fingers down on his bare stomach and started tickling him. Makoto squirmed and tried to get away from her hands. His laugh rang in Kanade's ears, making her tickle him harder. She dipped her finger into his belly button, and Makoto squeaked.

"K-K-Kanade!" Makoto yelped between laughs. "M-Mercy!"

Kanade giggled and leaned up, removing her hands from his stomach. Makoto panted, his face incredibly red. He pulled his shirt down and held his sides, protecting his stomach. He looked away from her and blushed.

"S-See? I'm not that ticklish…" he said softly. Kanade smiled at him.

"I couldn't tell," Kanade said, smirking at him. "Tell you what," Kanade said. Makoto tentatively looked up at her. "How about I come by after your shift tomorrow? We can finally hit up that club down the street!"

Makoto raised his brows and blinked, his hands still holding his sides. After all of his troubles with school and work the past two weeks, he _did_ deserve a break. His visit home was really stressful, but his family needed him there. And now Ran was doing better. He looked up at Kanade and smiled.

"Fine, fine!" he said. "That sounds good."

"Good!" Kanade said, tilting her head. She straightened up and headed back to the kitchen. "I'll make some tea. Be back in a sec."

"Okay," Makoto hummed. Once she was gone, he reached his hand down to his shirt and slipped his hand underneath. He rubbed the spots where her fingers touched him. It felt hot. His face heated up, and he rested his hand on his stomach. The warmth that spread to his body made his eyes feel heavier.

 _Her touch was soft…_

"Was work good today?" Kanade asked from the kitchen.

"Yeah," Makoto answered sleepily.

"Ohh, good. Well, I talked to my old man and he said he's opened up the swim-teaching program at the rec center."

"Yeah?" Makoto replied, his voice starting to mumble.

"There's already been five kids to register!"

"Oh," Makoto mumbled.

"So once we come back from break, you can start right away!"

"…"

"Makoto?"

"..."

Kanade came out of the kitchen and towards the couch. "Makoto, are you even listening to—"

She stopped talking when she saw Makoto's eyes closed, his chest rising and falling softly. His hand was up his shirt and resting on his belly, soft sighs escaping his lips.

"Don't fall asleep on the couch! Honestly…" Kanade whispered.

She leaned down and took off his tie from his neck. After she took it off, she stared down at his hand that was tucked underneath his shirt. She noticed his taut abdominal muscles and remembered how they felt underneath her fingers. She blushed and quickly walked over to grab a blanket from the coffee table. She draped it over Makoto and gazed down at his face. She hesitantly raised her hand and brushed his bangs off of his forehead. Her breath hitched in her chest.

 _His hair is really soft…_

She reached down to touch his hair again, but he stirred his head falling to one side. Kanade stood to her feet and put her hands up in the air, a hot blush coating her cheeks and ears. She turned off the lamp in the room and walked to her bedroom.

 _What was_ that _all about?! I need to be more careful._

* * *

Makoto wiped down a table. The restaurant was empty, already closed. Makoto was the last part time employee there, and the cooks had already left. All he had left to do was clean up. The manager walked out of his office and quickly put on his coat.

"I know this is your last day, but do you think you could lock up for me? I need to head out now to deposit the money for the week," he said. Makoto hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Uh, y-yeah, sure," he stuttered, wearing a nervous smile. He had never locked up the restaurant this late at night before.

"Thank you. Just bring back the keys tomorrow," the manager said. He stormed out of the restaurant.

Makoto sighed and grabbed another rag. He stood in front of the bar and started to wipe down the counter, glancing up at the clock every so often. Then, he heard the front door open and shut, and Makoto turned around from the bar. He smiled when he saw Kanade walking in.

"Sorry I'm a few minutes late!" Kanade said. "Well? You about ready?" she asked, taking a seat at the bar, watching him clean.

"Almost. I just have to clean up a few things and change, and then I'll be ready. Where is this club anyway?" Makoto asked, turning the rag over to rub a spot on the counter.

"Just down the street," Kanade said, pointing her thumb behind her. She raised her brows and smirked. "Don't worry, it's not an extreme place, Makoto!"

"Eh?!"

"You have this worried look on your face!" Kanade said, pointing a finger at him. "We're just going to dance. No alcohol or anything. Just dancing. It's a safe place, I promise!"

Makoto smiled at her and put the rag down on the counter. "Okay, okay! Just let me finish cleaning up."

Makoto picked up the rag once again and was about to wipe down another spot when the door opened. Makoto lifted his head and Kanade turned in her seat. A tall man who had his hands shoved in his pocket had walked in. He walked towards the counter.

"Ah, sorry, sir, but we're closed," Makoto said. The man kept approaching. Kanade's brows lowered and she stood to her feet, backing up slightly. She exchanged a worried look with Makoto. Makoto glanced at her and stepped in front of her, getting in between her and the man. "E-Excuse me, but we're—"

Suddenly the man pulled out a long knife and shoved it in Makoto's face. Makoto's breath hitched in his chest as he stared down at the pointy tip of the blade. Kanade's eyes widened and she lightly gasped.

"Give me all of the money," the man demanded. "Now!"

Makoto's eyes widened and he felt his heart pounding wildly in his chest. The manager had already taken all of the money for the week.

"T-The manager already took everything for the week," Makoto said calmly, putting up his hands. He took a step back, feeling Kanade behind him.

The man grunted and lunged forward, grabbing Makoto's collar. The man jerked him forward, shoving the blade onto his neck. Kanade put a hand over her mouth and took a step back.

"I _said_ , give me the money. Now," the man said threateningly.

"I-I…" Makoto stuttered, feeling the blade pressing into his neck. "I'm telling you… t-the money's not—"

The man pulled the knife away and gave Makoto a swift kick to his shin, knocking him to the ground. Makoto groaned, feeling his collar being yanked and his body dragged to his knees.

"If you don't give it to me, I will _kill_ you," he said.

Kanade's eyes widened, and she felt her heart pound painfully in her chest. She glanced around the room and saw a fire extinguisher on the wall near the bar. She took a deep breath and took a few steps back and out of view of the man screaming in Makoto's face. She grabbed it and held it firmly in her hands and slowly started to tiptoe back to the man.

Makoto felt a sharp pain in his neck as the blade slightly pierced the skin. He held his breath.

"Time is running out, boy," the man growled. Makoto's brows furrowed angrily, and he grit his teeth.

 _Think, Makoto, think!_

He glanced around, trying to figure out a way of escape.

 _I'm too scared. My body won't move!_

Then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kanade, sneaking up behind the man. She held the fire extinguisher in her hand. His eyes widened.

 _Kanade? What are you doing?!_

"That's it, time's up!" the man yelled.

He reared the knife back behind his head and thrust it downward. Makoto shut his eyes but heard a loud _clink_. Makoto felt the man push him over and he fell to the ground. Makoto immediately sat up and saw that Kanade had knocked the man's hand with the fire extinguisher, sending the knife flying. Makoto stood up onto his shaking legs.

"Why you little…" the man growled.

The lifted his hand and backhanded Kanade hard on her cheek, making her fall to the ground hard.

"Kanade!" Makoto yelled.

His anger boiled over and he lunged at the man, tackling him to the ground. They wrestled on the ground, both equal in strength. The man was able to get a punch into Makoto's jaw, leaving him a little disoriented. The man jumped to his feet and headed for the knife that rested on the floor a few feet away, but Makoto grabbed his ankle.

The man fell over, giving Makoto time to stand to his feet and drag the man up from the ground. Makoto tried to contain him, but the fought with him, trying to wrestle Makoto down. He ended up pushing Makoto backwards, making him fall hard onto a glass table. The table broke underneath their weight, the legs snapping off and the glass tabletop shattering. Makoto gasped, feeling some shards of glass stick lightly into his back.

The man stood up and grabbed one of the broken table legs and hovered over Makoto. He lifted up the table leg and started to beat Makoto's side with it. Makoto screamed in pain, lifting his hands to cover his head. The man continued to beat his side and stomach.

Kanade leaned up from the ground, her head dizzy from the slap. She glanced over and her eyes widened in horror. Makoto was grunting with each blow. She pulled herself onto her feet and rushed over to them both. She jumped on the man's back and put him into a chokehold, her arm gripping as tightly as she could. The man gasped for breath and tried to hit Kanade's arms, but Kanade held on. The man dropped the table leg and backed up, away from Makoto. He backed up to the wall and slammed Kanade's body against it. After the first slam, Kanade grunted but held on tight. But after a second slam, Kanade felt her lungs constrict and she felt immediate pain rise to her chest. She let go of the man's neck and fell to the ground, holding her chest.

 _Not now, not now,_ she whispered to herself.

The man walked over, grabbed his knife, and then headed back to Kanade. He grabbed her shirt and pulled her up to her feet. He slammed her against the wall. Kanade looked at him through pain-stricken eyes.

"You've been in the way long enough," the man sneered. He put the knife to one side of her neck.

Meanwhile, Makoto slowly leaned up from the ground, holding his side. He took a shuddering breath and glanced over, seeing Kanade pinned to the wall with a knife to her throat. Makoto quickly scrambled to his feet and bolted across the restaurant towards them.

The man was about to slice her neck when Makoto grabbed his hand and tried to pull the blade away from Kanade's neck. The man let go of Kanade's shirt and turned towards Makoto. He kicked Makoto hard in his stomach, causing Makoto to stumble backwards a few steps. The man approached Makoto swiftly, raising his knife and slashing sideways. Makoto put up his arms to cover his face, the knife slicing across his sleeve and piercing the skin on his forearm. Blood starting to stain his sleeve quickly, and Makoto winced at the pain.

Ignoring the blood and pain in his arm, Makoto punched the man, sending him backwards and dropping the knife in the process. Makoto jumped on top of him and tried to pin him, but the man started to throw more punches.

Kanade slid to the ground and held her chest, her breaths starting to wheeze. She glanced over at Makoto and the man on the ground. She watched as the two rolled a few feet until the man had Makoto pinned onto the ground. They landed right next to the knife. Kanade gasped, watching the man pick up the knife and try to lunge it into Makoto's chest, but Makoto grabbed his hand and stopped it.

Kanade glanced around, her eyes desperately searching for something, _anything_ to help. She then noticed the fire extinguisher lying on the ground a few feet away. Kanade gasped for a breath and then slowly pushed herself onto her shaking feet. She grabbed the fire extinguisher.

Makoto's hands began to shake, the pain in his bleeding arm traveling up to his shoulder. The knife was getting lower and lower, the tip almost at his chest. He grunted in pain, seeing his white sleeve on his right arm now completely red with blood.

The blade lowered, touching his chest.

 _No…_ Makoto thought. _Please, no!_

The blade lowered a few more inches.

 _I can't hold him off much longer…_

The tip pierced through his white button-up shirt. His eyes squinted as his whole body shook. He thought of Kanade's face. Her black hair, blue eyes. Was this really the last time he would see her?

Suddenly, he saw a fire extinguisher above the man's head and it reared down on the back of his head. The man fell to the side, dropping his knife on Makoto's chest. The man was out cold. Makoto glanced up at saw Kanade standing above him, the fire extinguisher in her hand.

Kanade dropped the fire extinguisher on the floor and fell on her knees by Makoto's side. Her breath was shallow and raspy, each breath sounding pained.

"K-Kanade, are… are you okay?" Makoto asked, sitting up.

But Kanade did not respond. She grabbed his wrist and pulled up his bloody arm, moving the sleeve out of the way. Her eyes widened when she saw a long gash trailing from his thumb to his elbow.

"You… need… help…" she wheezed. She reached for Makoto's buttons on his shirt and started to take off his shirt.

"Kanade, what're you—"

"Here," Kanade said, taking off his button up from his shoulders, leaving him in his white undershirt. She balled up the shirt in her hands.

"Kanade, you're wheezing…" Makoto said, worry creasing his brows. Kanade pressed the balled up button up shirt to his arm and he hissed in pain.

"Got to… stop… the bleeding," she rasped, her eyes staring at his arm. She lifted the shirt a few times, seeing the gash and how it still bled, and then replaced it. She glanced into his green eyes. "Call… help," she said.

Makoto jumped and reached into his pocket for his cell phone.

* * *

"So you were the only employee in the restaurant?"

"Yes."

There were several police officers at the restaurant, shining lights lighting up the street and buildings nearby. Makoto and Kanade were sitting inside an ambulance, an EMT cleaning Makoto's arm as a police officer asked him some questions.

"And it was only you and Ms. Shizumi in the restaurant?" the officer asked.

Makoto glanced over to Kanade on the other side of the ambulance. She was hunched over in the corner, holding an oxygen mask to her face. She glanced up at Makoto with dulled blue eyes, her mouth covered by the mask.

"Yes," Makoto answered.

"All right. Thank you for your time. Great job stopping the man. You both have been through a lot tonight."

"Thank you, officer," Makoto said, and he watched the officer walk away.

"This will hurt a bit," the EMT said to Makoto.

The EMT started to stitch up Makoto's arm, and he hissed in pain, his fists clenching tightly. He shut his eyes and grit his teeth as the EMT added another stitch, and he heaved a painful sigh.

Then, Makoto felt a hand on top of his. He opened his eyes and saw Kanade leaning across the ambulance to grab his clenched fist. Makoto looked up at Kanade, her eyes tired but worried, her other hand still holding an oxygen mask to her face. Makoto opened up his fist and grabbed Kanade's hand. He squeezed it when he felt another stitch be put in his arm and he winced, forcing his hand to relax. He did not want to crush Kanade's hand. But, he felt her squeeze his hand back, forcing him to look at her. Her brows were lowered in determination, and she gave him a curt nod. Makoto blinked at her a few times before nodding back, and he squeezed her hand.

* * *

The walk back to Kanade's apartment was long and quiet. Makoto held his newly bandaged arm closely to his chest, and he kept glancing over to Kanade. Her eyes were glued to the ground, and her face was drained of color. Her eyelids sat heavily over her dulled eyes, and her lips were pulled into a small pout. She looked exhausted. Makoto opened his mouth to speak, but when nothing came out, he closed it and looked ahead on the sidewalk.

They arrived at Kanade's apartment and Kanade turned on the lights. Makoto stared into the living room, his mind in a haze, while Kanade walked into the kitchen.

"I'll make some tea," she announced shakily. Makoto jumped at hearing her voice and snapped out of his foggy thoughts.

"D-Do you need help?" he asked.

Kanade stopped to look at him, giving him a weak smile. "No, it's fine. Just rest."

Makoto watched her walk to the kitchen and start making tea. He took a slow, deep breath, and walked to the couch. After gently sitting down, he glanced down at his arm. The bandage covered his entire forearm and part of his hand. He rested his other hand on it and rubbed it gently, still feeling stinging pain throbbing underneath the wrappings.

"Does it hurt?" Kanade asked, setting down cups of tea on the coffee table. Makoto glanced up at her and watched her as she knelt down in front of him and sat down on the floor in front of the couch.

"A little," Makoto responded. Kanade put her hand on his arm.

"I'm sorry," she apologized softly. "This was my fault."

"What? How could you say that?" Makoto asked.

"If I had stopped the man sooner then he wouldn't have had me pinned. Then you wouldn't have had your arm hurt," she said. "If I had arrived up on time instead of being so late, then we could have left sooner."

Makoto frowned painfully at her words, and he put his hand on her shoulder. He tried for a reassuring smile.

"It wasn't your fault, Kanade," Makoto said. "The man was strong- stronger than me. It was all one freak accident! Besides… I'm just glad you're not hurt!" Kanade looked up at him, her eyes shimmering. Tears started to well up in her eyes and threatened to spill. Makoto frowned. He opened up his arms. "Hey, come here," he said.

Kanade hesitated, but leaned up and let him put his arms around her gently, pulling her into a hug. Kanade's tears dissipated instantly, her chest feeling warm. She rested her head on his shoulder, feeling his hands caress her back. She sighed into his chest, and wrapped her arms around his waist. She squeezed lightly, and Makoto gasped.

"Gah!" he winced. His shut his eyes tight and grit his teeth, his hand moving to his side.

"M-Makoto? What's wrong?" she asked.

She got off of him and leaned back. She looked down and saw him holding his side. She moved his hand and grabbed the hem of his shirt. Before Makoto could protest, she pulled up his shirt. Her eyes widened.

"M-Makoto!" she gasped.

Makoto looked down and saw that his side was littered in green and blue bruises. Some of the bruises were resting on the front of his stomach, just below his belly button.

"Oh, no," she whispered. She gently put a hand to his side to touch the bruises, and he hissed in pain, moving away from her touch. "This looks bad. Did you show the EMTs?" she asked.

"N-No, I didn't. I didn't realize it hurt until just now," he said. Kanade looked down at it again, stroking her fingers along his side. "This must've happened when he hit me with the table leg." Kanade's eyes narrowed into pained slits and she stood up from the couch.

"Take off your shirt. I'm going to get some medicine and some ice," she said and walked away.

Makoto flushed and gingerly took off his shirt, discarding it on the arm of the couch. He put a hand back to his side and held it gently, the bruises tender to the touch. Kanade came back with a towel, ice, and a bottle of medicine with water.

"Take this first," Kanade said, handing him the pills. He sighed and gulped down some painkillers. "Here, lay down," she said. She helped him to lay down on the couch, her arms steadying his broad shoulders as he leaned back. She wrapped the ice pack in the towel and she gently put it on Makoto's stomach. "This will help. Just hold it to your bruises. You don't feel sick, do you?" Kanade asked, putting a hand to his forehead. "Dizziness or lightheadedness?" She moved her hand to his neck, feeling for sweat.

Makoto shook his head. "No," he replied. He winced again, pushing the ice a little closer to his side. "It just hurts."

"No headache?" Kanade asked.

"No," he answered.

Kanade visibly relaxed, her shoulders slumping. "Okay. That's good."

Kanade smiled at him, feeling relief wash over her. The bruise on her cheek did not match the smile she had on her face.

"That's the first time you've smiled tonight," he said.

"O-Oh?" Kanade asked. "Ah, sorry. It's… been a long night."

Makoto lifted his bandaged arm and rested his hand on her bruised cheek. "Maybe you should put some ice on this."

Kanade looked down at him and smiled wryly. "Do you always put yourself before others?" she chuckled.

Makoto's smile faltered slightly. _Well, I_ have _been called meddlesome, but…_

"Maybe," he responded. He sighed and dropped his hand back down, laying it across his stomach. Kanade smiled at him and stood up. She grabbed the same blanket from the other night and draped it over him. "K-Kanade, you really don't have to—"

"Shh!"

Makoto stopped talking and looked up at her. Her eyes were still dulled, but she tried to put on a big smile.

"Just rest okay? And keep that ice there. I'm going to go change," she said, and she walked to her bedroom.

"I'll find a movie while you're gone!" Makoto called. Kanade giggled at him.

"Great!"

Kanade walked into her bedroom and closed the door behind her. She leaned against the door and slid down to the ground. She exhaled a shuddering breath and looked down in her lap. Her hands were shaking uncontrollably. She grit her teeth and stared helplessly at her hands, and then buried her face in them. She held back the tears and took deep breaths to calm her shaking and to calm her heart.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

* * *

Makoto woke up to a buzz from his phone. He stirred, his eyes fluttering open. He leaned up and looked around. He was still on the couch in the living room, the TV still on from watching movies the night before. Makoto tried to lift his hand to rub his eyes when he felt something holding it in place. He glanced down and his brows rose.

Kanade was sitting on the ground in the front of the couch, her body curled up and her head leaned against the couch, fast asleep. Her hand was clinging onto his. Makoto smiled and got up from the couch, lightly escaping her grasp. He knelt down to her. He pushed stray strands of her hair out of her sleeping face.

 _So cute…_

Kanade stirred and Makoto whipped his hand back away from her. Her face scrunched up slightly but then she returned to her peaceful slumber. Makoto paused for a moment and then released his breath. He knelt back down to her and carefully picked her up, minding his stitches in his arm. He gently rested her on the couch and pulled the blanket over her. He smiled and ran his hand through her hair.

"Thank you," he whispered to her.

After leaning back up, he reached into his pocket to look at his phone.

.

 _1 New Message_

 _Haru_

 _To: Makoto_

 _Are you coming over?_

 _._

Makoto sighed. After the incident last night, he was not too sure he should go. Haru would worry if he found out. Makoto thought for a moment. He rushed to grab a shirt and he headed to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and his eyes widened. The bruising on his side and stomach had worsened, deepening to hues of purple in places. Makoto gently put a hand to one of the bruises and winced, hissing in pain. He then looked down at his arm. He paused, and then texted him back.

 _To: Haru_

 _I'll be there soon._

* * *

"Haru, what are you doing after our summer break practice?" Torii asked from his bed.

Haru toweled off his wet hair and reached for a shirt. "Going to Iwatobi."

"Ah, doesn't Tachibana live there too?"

Haru's brows lowered. "Yes."

"That's good. Maybe you can speak to him then?"

Haru cut a glare at him, not responding. He sat down at his desk without a word and pulled out his homework.

"Oh, come on, Haru," Torii said. He sat on the edge of his bed. "Your times have gotten worse. The trials for the national team for the Olympics are after the New Year. You need to talk this thing out with Tachibana and get it sorted out so you can get back to swimming better."

"Stay out of it," Haru snapped, not looking up from his notebook. Torii sighed and laid back on his bed, his hands cradling his head.

"I don't want to fight," he said softly. "I just want you to make the team. Don't squander what talent you've got." Haru glanced at him, his features softening. "It's not every day you get asked to try out for the national team."

Haru looked down at his notebook. He lowered his pencil down to write, but stopped, pondering Torii's words. What was with his sad tone?

Suddenly, his phone buzzed. He took out his phone and his eyes widened.

 _1 New Message_

 _Rin_

Rin?

Haru opened the text immediately.

 _To: Haru_

 _Hey, Haru! Are you going back home for summer break? I'll be there if you are. Let's race~_

Haru's eyes sparkled. Seeing Rin again would be amazing, and getting to race him would be great. He wondered if Rin would be trying out for Australia's national team…

"Okay," Haru said suddenly. Torii leaned up his head, his brows rising when he saw the twinkle in Haru's eye. "I'll talk to Makoto over break and get back on track."

Torii blinked, trying to comprehend Haru's sudden change in attitude. But knowing how aloof he can be, he just smiled and nodded.

Haru was about to reply to Rin's message when he heard a knock at the door. He stood up and answered, seeing a frazzled Makoto on the other side.

"H-Hey, Haru. Sorry I'm late!" Makoto said. He wore a plaid button-up shirt, the sleeves rolled down to his wrists. Haru raised a brow at him as he walked in.

"Aren't you hot in that?" Haru asked, watching Makoto gingerly sit down on the edge of the bed. Makoto's broken smile shattered, a fearful expression replacing it. He tried to force a small smile on his face.

"N-No, I'm fine," Makoto said.

He looked away from Haru, feeling his smile twitch. There was so much he was hiding from Haru, and the guilt was beginning to eat away at him. Haru opened his mouth to speak, when Torii sat up and stretched.

"Well, Haru, Tachibana," he said. "Why don't we go for a swim today? You haven't visited in a while, and Haru won't shut up about your backstroke."

Makoto felt panic surge into his chest.

"Eh?!" Makoto squeaked. "Swim? I, uh…" Makoto fumbled. "I didn't bring my jammers…"

"You can borrow a pair of mine. We're about the same height anyway," Torii said, standing to his feet. He walked over to his dresser and pulled out a few jammers.

"I-I'm not so sure…" Makoto mumbled. Haru's brows knitted together, worry creasing his forehead.

"Makoto?" Haru called. Makoto glanced over and saw his worried expression.

"I'm fine, Haru," Makoto responded, giving him a strained smile. "I'm just a little tired. I'm not sure I want to swim today."

"Why?" Haru asked.

"W-Well…"

"Did you already swim with Shizumi this week?" Haru ended up asking. Makoto moved his hand up to rub the back of his neck.

"Well, no, Kanade and I have been pretty—"

"Kanade?" Haru said, his eyes wide and suspecting. Makoto shut his mouth at his slip-up. "Since when do you call her Kanade?"

"Uh, well…"

"What are you hiding?"

Torii froze at his dresser and turned his head, seeing Haru's energy fade. He saw how Haru's hands curled into fists, his knuckles turning white. Torii gripped his jammers in his fists. It was only a moment ago that he saw Haru go back to his normal self: ready to swim, determined, focused, a sparkle in his eye. Now he's seeing him crumble before his very eyes.

And it all had to do with _him_.

Torii stormed over to Makoto and held out his jammers to him.

"Here," Torii said. Makoto stared up at him hesitantly. "Whatever is troubling you, swimming will help."

Makoto furrowed his brows and stared down in his lap, not taking the jammers. Torii frowned and reached down. He grabbed Makoto's arm and flipped it over, forcing the jammers in his hand.

The grip on Makoto's arm send painful tingles up his stitched arm, traveling to his shoulder and sending a shiver down his spine. He winced in pain from the contact and hissed through his teeth. Torii's harsh frown softened into a worried line.

"T-Tachibana? W-What's…"

"Makoto?" Haru asked, watching Makoto rub his arm over the fabric of his shirt. He gave Haru a shaky smile.

"It's nothing, Haru," Makoto said.

Haru was not convinced, seeing the pain in those green eyes. He went to Makoto's side and grabbed his hand, forcing his sleeve up.

"H-Haru!"

Haru's eyes widened when he saw his bandaged arm, the bandage running from his wrist to his elbow.

"Makoto…" Haru whispered. "What happened?"

Makoto stood up from the bed and rolled down his sleeve, covering the bandage. He could feel Torii's and Haru's stares drilling holes into him, so he started to back away from them both.

"It…" Makoto started. "It was an accident."

"Accident?" Haru asked, standing up.

He walked towards Makoto and tried to grab his arm again. Makoto took a few steps back, and the corner of Haru's desk nicked his bruised side. Makoto hissed in pain and gripped his side, doubling over.

"M-Makoto?" Haru stuttered. He walked close to Makoto and pushed his hand out of the way. He grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it up.

"H-Haru, don't!"

Haru's eyes widened when he saw the blue bruises all along his bare side. Makoto saw Haru's eyes narrow into painful slits, and he felt guilt slam on his shoulders. He gently grabbed his shirt and forced it down, hiding his bruises.

"Makoto, what happened?" Haru asked. Makoto just looked away, trying to gather his thoughts. Torii watched him as he hesitated, and then looked to Haru. Haru's eyes were wide and worried. Torii lowered his brows, feeling something boil up inside of him.

"Just say it already," Torii snapped. They both looked up at him. He was gazing at Makoto with harsh eyes. "Haru's been worried about you, and you've been avoiding him."

"Oi," Haru snapped back.

"Haru has important things coming up, but he can't concentrate on them if he's worried about you," Torii said, his hands curling into fists. Makoto's eyes widened at Torii. "Just say it! Stop making Haru worry so much about you and Shiz—"

" _Masato_!" Haru yelled. Torii shut his mouth and looked at Haru, surprised he used his first name. "Enough," Haru said. Makoto lowered his eyes away from them both and stared at the floor.

"Fine," Torii said softly. "Sorry." With the small apology, he left the room, shutting the door quietly as he left.

Haru looked back to Makoto. "What. Happened."

Makoto looked down at the ground. "It's a long story."

* * *

"Uwahh, why did we decide to do weekend practices again?" Nagisa whined.

"Gou-san said it would help us with endurance," Rei responded.

"Isn't that what this summer camp is for?" Dai asked plainly, his hands gripping the straps of his backpacks.

The three were walking back from morning practice at the school. The practice was purely for stamina endurance, which made all of them exhausted.

"Let's go get some food! I'm starving!" Nagisa said, holding his stomach.

Rei adjusted his glasses. "Sorry, Nagisa-kun. I… I have some errands I have to attend to today."

"Eh? Errands? You're not going to go train at Samezuka Academy again are you? It's not Rin-chan is—"

"No, that's not it," Rei interrupted. "I've just… got a lot to do. Maybe next time?"

Nagisa looked up at Rei and saw a strained expression behind his smile. Nagisa frowned and looked at the ground. Dai raised a brow at them.

"Yeah, sure," Nagisa said softly.

They walked a little ways longer until they had to separate to go home. Nagisa and Dai stopped at their turn and waved Rei off.

"Later, Nagisa-senpai," Dai called as turned down his street.

Just as Dai was about to make another turn, he felt his shirt get pulled and he was budded up against the wall.

"Wha, what's—"

He saw Nagisa standing next to him with a sneaky look on his face.

"N-Nagisa-senpai?! What are you doing?" Dai asked.

"Shh!" Nagisa said. "We're gonna follow Rei-chan!"

"What?! Why?"

"Because he's being suspicious!"

"Ehh? Why are you forcing me to come?"

"That's because you're Dai-chan!" Nagisa said with a cheeky smile and a wink. "Now, let's go!"

Nagisa dragged Dai down the street and then plastered them both against a building. He peeked around the corner.

"Rei-chan is running some sort of _errand_ and I'm going to find out what it is!" Nagisa said.

"Can't you just ask him?" Dai whispered.

"What? No way!" Nagisa said. "Oh, look, look! He's turning there! Go, go!"

Nagisa dragged a reluctant Dai down the street. They followed Rei down several corners until they saw Rei stand in front of a tall building.

"There, there!" Nagisa said. "Uwah! What is that building? Is Rei-chan in some sort of trouble?!"

"I really don't think Rei-senpai—"

"What if Rei-chan is some sort of spy? And he never told me! Uwah!" Nagisa whined and put his hands in his hair.

Dai rolled his eyes and then stared back at Rei. Rei was clutching the straps of his backpack and his movements were a little jittery. He took a deep breath and entered the building.

"He went in," Dai announced.

"Oh, let's go, let's go!" Nagisa said, jumping out from behind the building and heading straight for the front door.

"W-Wait, Nagisa-senpai!"

Nagisa walked up to the building and was about to enter when he saw the sign. His eyes widened and he froze, his hands dropping by his sides. Dai finally caught up to him and panted, resting his hands on his knees.

"How are you so fast?" Dai panted. When he did not answer right away, he looked up. "Nagisa-senpai?"

Then, the sign caught his eye.

IWATOBI COLLEGE PREP SCHOOL

"Oh, so that's it," Dai said. "Well, it's not that surprising. Knowing Rei-senpai, I'm sure he knows what he wants to do. Let's head back, I'm tired."

Dai turned around and started to walk away, but stopped when he did not hear Nagisa following. He turned back and saw Nagisa standing in front of the sign, his hands by his sides in fists. He had a sad look on his face.

Nagisa stared at the words again, and then lowered his brows. He turned on his heels and then headed down the street, his hands gripping the straps of his backpack. He quietly brushed past Dai, and Dai stared after him.

"Nagisa-senpai?"

* * *

"What?!" Haru exclaimed.

"Yeah," Makoto responded, rubbing his side.

Makoto sat on the edge of the bed while Haru sat in the desk chair in front of him. Makoto had told Haru everything: from the troubles of school, to Ran, to the panic attacks, to moving in with Kanade, and finally to the robbery at the restaurant.

"If Kanade hadn't knocked the guy out at the end, I'd be toast," Makoto said. He looked down in his lap, a small smile on his face.

 _If she wasn't there at all, you could've left on time and never would've had to see the guy_ , Haru thought.

"I'm sorry," Makoto suddenly said. Haru looked at him, his eyes widening. "I didn't want to burden you, but I should've said something sooner. I'm really sorry."

Haru furrowed his brows and then looked at the ground angrily.

"It's fine."

 _It's not fine._

Makoto still looked a little upset, rubbing his bruised side. Haru watched him as he stroked it lightly.

"Is it bothering you?" Haru asked, eyeing Makoto's side.

"Yeah, a little," Makoto confessed, looking away from him. Haru sighed and stood up.

"I'll go get ice," Haru said.

"Ah, you really don't have—"

"It's fine," Haru interrupted.

He headed for the door and left the room. Leaning against the wall next to the door was Torii, his arms folded across his chest.

"He okay?" Torii asked.

Haru stared at the ground. "He will be." Haru headed down the hall and Torii followed.

"Haru," Torii called. "I'm sorry."

Haru cut a glance at him, but softened his features. "It's fine. Don't worry. I'll talk to him over the break in a few weeks."

"Oh?" Torii asked. Haru nodded as they turned a corner.

"He needs to cut his ties with Shizumi, I think," Haru said. "I won't let her hurt him."

* * *

Rin made it back to his apartment that night after a long day's practice. He plopped down on his couch and lounged. He heard his roommates in the kitchen talking about the practice today and how well it went. Rin normally would be in there with them, but felt anxious about the texts Haru had sent him earlier. He pulled out his phone and went to the two messages to read it again.

 _To: Rin_

 _Okay, a race is fine. Don't cry if you lose._

 _To: Rin_

 _…I need your advice with something. It's about Makoto. I think he could be in trouble._

Rin had pondered the text, reading it over and over. Since when did Makoto cause trouble? Or since when does he walk into trouble? He sighed and hit the reply button.

 _To: Haru_

 _What kind of trouble?_

Rin waited only a few minutes for another reply.

 _To: Rin_

 _There's a girl he's hanging out with that's not a good influence. There are rumors that she's doing drugs._

Rin raised a brow. He reread the word "girl" over and over. Then he smirked and rolled his eyes.

 _To: Haru_

 _Let's talk over summer break_

* * *

Kanade woke up and found herself on the couch. She looked around and saw that the room was dark. She sat up and glanced around.

"M-Makoto?" she called. There was no answer. The clock on the mantle read 6:30.

Kanade scrambled for her phone and saw a few texts from Makoto.

 _3 New Messages_

 _Makoto_

 _To: Kanade_

 _Hey, just to let you know, I'm at Haru's. I'll be back tomorrow!_

 _To: Kanade_

 _Hey, are you up? :O_

 _To: Kanade_

 _You still can't be sleeping, can you? Lazy!_

Kanade chuckled at his texts. She sighed in relief. Well, at least she knows where he is. She got up and headed to the kitchen to make dinner.

She started to chop some vegetables, the long knife in her hand. She stared down as she made a cut, and her mind flashed back to the other night. Images of the knife at her throat and Makoto's chest flooded her mind. She absent-mindedly made a chop downward, and she nicked her finger. She hissed in pain and saw some blood drop from her finger. Her eyes widened when she saw the blood. The image of Makoto's forearm being sliced with the knife came into her mind, and all of the blood that spilled from his arm.

The knife fell onto the floor.

Kanade walked back to the living room and picked up her phone. She opened up a new text.

 _To: Makoto_

 _Hey… Is it okay if you can come back tonight instead?_

* * *

After lounging all day with an ice pack to his stomach, Makoto felt restless. It was getting close to dinnertime, and he turned to Haru, who was sitting at his desk.

"Hey, you wanna go get dinner?" Makoto asked. Haru looked at him and nodded.

They both stood up and got ready to head out, but Makoto stopped when he got a text. He glanced down, seeing it was from Kanade. He smiled at first, but then frowned at her message.

"What's wrong?" Haru asked. Makoto shook his head.

"Sorry, Haru," he said. Haru lowered his brows questioningly. "I need to head back."

"Head back?" Haru asked, watching Makoto gather his things. "Is it Shizumi?"

Makoto looked back at him and nodded. Haru stared at the ground, feeling something unfamiliar gnaw at his core.

"I'll call you tomorrow, Haru," Makoto said, and he left the room, barely shutting the door behind him.

Haru's hands curled into fists at his sides. What was this feeling? He sighed, and sat back down at his desk, unable to concentrate on his studies.

* * *

"Kanade?" Makoto called as he entered the apartment.

The first thing he noticed was the knife lying on the kitchen floor next to a drop of blood. Makoto shut the door behind him and cautiously entered the apartment.

"Kanade!" Makoto called again. He walked down the hallway towards the bedrooms when the bathroom door caught his eye. It was shut, but the light was on. "Kanade?" Makoto called softly. He gently knocked on the door.

The door slowly slid open, revealing a trembling Kanade hovering over the sink. She had a bandaid in her hand and she was trying to wrap her bleeding finger, but her hands were shaking too much. Kanade gave him a strained smile.

"H-Hey, Makoto!" Kanade greeted with a small wave. She looked back down at her finger and tried to put the bandaid on it once again. "I, uh, I was starting to make dinner and well… I wasn't paying attention. Kinda nicked my finger here," Kanade chuckled. Her voice was strained and her breaths were shaky.

Makoto's chest tightened painfully as he watched her try to put on the bandaid again, only for her skaking fingers to slip and let go of the bandaid. She tried to laugh it off, but the dark circles under eyes told Makoto a different story. He walked up to her and gently grabbed her wrist. Kanade jumped at his touch and stared up at him.

"Here, let me," Makoto said softly. He gently started to clean the cut, Kanade watching his every move with wide eyes.

"Th-Thank you," Kanade whispered, lowering her eyes into a pained frown. Makoto stared at her sad expression, and then he moved his eyes back to her cut. He started to wrap the bandaid around her finger.

"You okay?" Makoto asked. Kanade nodded, avoiding his eyes. "What… what happened?"

Kanade turned her head away from him, her face scrunching up. "I… was scared."

"Scared?" Makoto repeated. His hand still gently held onto hers.

Kanade nodded, and then forced her gaze to look up at Makoto. "Seeing you hurt like that yesterday… I… I shouldn't have been there. If... if I had come earlier, then we could have left sooner and..." Kanade said, her words trailing off. Her eyes fell to the floor, unable to keep up the contact.

Makoto felt like his heart was going to burst. He took a step forward and wrapped his arms tenderly around her trembling shoulders. She jumped and stiffened at his touch, her eyes widening.

"It's okay," Makoto said. "I'm here, and we're both safe."

Kanade's widened eyes filled with tears and she shut them tightly to prevent them from flowing. She clutched the front of Makoto's shirt and buried her face into his chest.

"Thank you, Makoto."

* * *

"Ready for exams, Makoto?"

"I think so!"

They were both leaving their class together. Midterms were this week, and then a nice vacation afterward.

"Excited to get your stitches out?" Kanade asked, pointing at his arm. Makoto nodded.

"Yeah, definitely!" Makoto agreed. They walked out of the science building and made their way down the path towards the center of campus.

"Ah, I'm just excited for a break!" Kanade said.

"Yeah, my brain is really fried. And I'm ready to go home," Makoto said.

"Ohh, that's right! Are you excited to see your family?" Kanade asked.

Makoto nodded and chuckled. "Ran and Ren will definitely be excited. We usually go camping, but my parents agreed that we'd take a year off. Oh! And I'm also going back to my old high school to help my friends with the swim club."

Kanade's eyes shimmered. "Whoa! Really? That sounds like fun!" she whined in a jealous tone. Makoto chuckled at her as they walked down the path. He stared at her as she stretched her arms above her head.

"Kanade, what are you doing for break?" Makoto asked. Kanade glanced over at him and gave a nervous smile.

"Oh, w-well, I guess I'm just… staying here?" Kanade said, scratching her cheek.

Makoto frowned. "Here, by yourself?" Makoto asked. "What about your caretaker?"

"Huh? Oh," Kanade whispered. "Well, since I'm an adult now, we agreed that I'd be on my own from now on so…" Kanade smiled sadly at the ground.

Makoto furrowed his brows and stared down at the pathway leading the center of the campus. He thought for a moment, putting his hand to his chin. He sheepishly stared at Kanade from the corner of his eye, and then slowed to a stop.

"Hey, K-Kanade," Makoto stuttered. Kanade stopped walking and turned around to face him, giving him a curious look. "W-Would you… like to come home with me over break?" Kanade's eyes widened, her lips parting slightly. Makoto waved his arms in front of him. "I-I mean, I'll have to ask my parents and, well, it's no pressure, I mean, if you don't want to, you don't—"

"Makoto," Kanade interrupted. Makoto stopped fumbling with his words and let his hands rest by his sides. "I'd love to!" Kanade said, giving him an excited smile.

Makoto's eyes sparkled and his smile widened into a happy grin. He nodded and pulled out his phone. "Let me just ask my parents!"


	11. Chapter 11

Thank you again for your kind words and helpful comments! This is my first fic, and I've been pretty nervous about it. I hope you all are enjoying it!

And don't worry, Rin is coming soon!

* * *

Chapter 11

* * *

"Oh, let me get that!"

"Hey, I got it!"

Makoto took Kanade's bag from her and held in his hand.

"You almost dropped it _twice_!" Makoto teased as they boarded the train.

"W-Well, I… you know!" Kanade said. Makoto raised a brow at her as they took their seats, questioning her antics. "Whatever!" she said. She twiddled her thumbs in her lap and Makoto took a seat next to her.

"Are you okay, Kanade?" he asked.

Kanade fiddled with her fingers one more time before looking at him.

"I'm… a little nervous about meeting your family," she said. "I haven't really had a family so…"

"Kanade!" Makoto said. "They're going to love you."

"I hope so!" Kanade laughed nervously. "Oh, so isn't Nanase-kun joining us?"

"Oh, no, he has some extra practices today," Makoto replied. "He'll meet up with us at the school tomorrow."

The train jolted and started to move down the track. Makoto pulled out an MP3 player and put in one of the ear buds. He held out the other to Kanade.

"Wanna listen to some music?" Makoto asked.

Kanade smiled and nodded, putting the other ear bud in her ear. She smiled and looked at him, raising a hand into the air.

"To Iwatobi!"

* * *

 _1 New Message_

 _Makoto_

 _To: Haru_

 _Hey Haru! We are on our way to Iwatobi! Maybe you can actually spend some time with Kanade this time :)_

Haru stared down at his phone angrily as if it had offended him in some way. He sighed, closing his phone without a reply.

"Going home tomorrow, Haru?" Torii asked.

"Yeah," Haru said harshly as he threw his phone on the desk and laid down on his bed. Torii raised a brow.

"What's up?" Torii asked. Haru sighed and paused, pursing his lips.

 _Opening up to Torii… is this a good idea?_

"Shizumi is going home with Makoto," Haru said. Torii raised his brows.

"Are they… dating?" Torii asked. Haru's heart jolted. Dating?

"I don't think so," Haru started. "Makoto would tell me if they were."

"Does he… like her?" Torii asked.

"I… don't know," Haru said.

"Haru, I don't mean to butt in," Torii started. "But get this resolved over break so you can focus on getting on the national team."

Haru furrowed his brows and clicked his tongue in annoyance.

"I know. I will."

* * *

"Looking good, Nagisa!"

"Yayyy! Hey, hey, Goro-chan! If I beat Dai-chan in a race, will you give me a pizza?"

"No!"

"Awww!"

The Iwatobi team was busy practicing and getting ready for the prefectural tournament after the summer break. Goro was busy running the first-years ragged, as well as giving Rei a hard time for lack of focus.

Rei sat off to the side and rolled his shoulder. Something felt a little off. Was it stress? Had he over-trained?

"Oi! Goro-chan! Time me!" Nagisa said.

Rei snapped out of his gaze and stared at Nagisa. He watched his happy smile as he stepped up to the starting block and put on his goggles and swim cap. His happy smile turned into a determined and focus stare as he looked at the water. Rei's eyes widened. Nagisa has always been known to be childish and loud, but seeing him here, with that serious look, made Rei think of him differently.

 _Nagisa-kun is working so hard_ , Rei thought. _He really is a good captain._

Rei watched as Nagisa dove in and headed down the lane. Rei sighed, feeling his chest hurt. He stared hard at the ground, his brows furrowed.

"Are you okay, Rei-kun?"

Rei looked up and saw Gou standing in front of him with a clipboard in hand.

"Oh, Gou-san," Rei whispered. "I'm… I'm all right," he answered.

"You seem to be deep in thought," Gou said, sitting next to him.

"Ah, I… I am," Rei answered honestly. He hesitated, watching Nagisa make the turn in the pool. "Gou-san," Rei started.

"Hm?" Gou hummed.

"What are your plans for after graduation?" Rei asked, his eyes still on Nagisa.

"After graduation? Hmm…" Gou put a finger to her lips and thought. "Well I'll probably take college entrance exams. So, college, I guess."

"O-Oh? Do you know what you want to study?" Rei asked. Gou beamed and put her hands to her cheeks, the aura around her seeming to sparkle.

"Eheh, well, I'm kinda interested in sports medicine or physical therapy…"

 _I really hope that's not because of your obsession with muscles…_ Rei thought, his face deadpanning. He stared back at Nagisa, who was teasing Dai about something.

"Do you know where you want to go to school?" Rei asked, still looking forward. Gou looked at him, and then followed his gaze. Her smile vanished when she looked back at him.

"Rei-kun…" she started. "Does this have anything to do with Nagisa-kun?"

"E-Eh?! Nagisa-kun?! W-Why would you assume anything like that?" Rei fumbled, looking back at her with a defensive expression.

"Are you worried about what he's going to do?" Gou asked.

"Gou-san…" Rei whispered. His expression turned serious as he looked in his lap, his brows furrowing. "Well… y-yeah," he answered softly. "I haven't spoken to him about it yet."

"Oh? Well, you just asked me and it wasn't too hard, was it?" Gou asked.

"Ah, y-yes, well…" Rei hesitated. "I'm a little scared of talking to him about it."

"You guys are such good friends! Just ask him!" Gou said, giving him a small smile. "What's there to be afraid of?"

"W-Well…" Rei stuttered. "I'm not exactly sure what I want to do myself…" he said softly.

"Huh? _You_?" Gou asked. Rei nodded. "Have you told Nagisa-kun this?"

"N-No, I haven't," Rei responded. He lifted up his hands to adjust his glasses, but his hand faltered after realizing that they were not on his face. He put his hand in his lap with a disappointed huff.

"Rei-kun," Gou said. "You should really talk to him. I'm sure you guys could figure it out together." She thought for a moment and realized that not too long ago, Nagisa had asked her the same questions. "What if Nagisa-kun is going through the same thing as you?"

"E-Eh?" Rei questioned.

"What if Nagisa-kun is having some troubles, too?" Gou asked. Rei furrowed his brows and stared back at Nagisa, who was all smiles.

"But, Gou-san," Rei said. "He looks so happy. What if he already has everything figured out? I don't want to become a burden to him."

"Rei-kun…" Gou whispered. "You won't be a burden to him, you know that. What are you _really_ afraid of?"

Rei snapped his head up to look at Gou with wide, shimmering eyes. His lips parted and he opened his mouth to speak.

"I…"

"Rei! Get over here and do your butterfly!" Goro yelled.

Rei yelped and stood to his feet. "Y-Yes!" he yelled, running over to the starting block.

Gou watched him leave. She furrowed her brows and stared into her lap. She was really starting to worry about those two. Graduation is sneaking up on them quickly, and she did not want to see them repeat what happened to Haru last year.

"Good luck, Rei-chan!" Nagisa yelled as he passed him.

"Thank you, Nagisa-kun!"

Nagisa walked over to Gou and plopped down in Rei's old spot, water soaking up on the bench.

"Ah, nothing like a few laps to warm up! I'm so excited to see Mako-chan and Haru-chan tomorrow!" Nagisa said. Gou continued to stare into her lap, remaining silent. "Eh? Gou-chan?"

Gou snapped from her gaze and looked at Nagisa. "Oh, sorry! What did you say?"

"Since when do you space out? I _said_ I'm excited about seeing Mako-chan and Haru-chan tomorrow!" Nagisa repeated.

"Ohh, yeah! They'll be able to help out with our training!" Gou said.

"Mhmm!" Nagisa said cheerfully. He glanced back at Rei and watched his dive. Rei seemed to enter the water at an awkward angle, his hands not fully clasping together on impact. "Ehh…" he whispered.

"What is it, Nagisa-kun?" Gou asked.

"His dive looked a little rough," Nagisa said. Gou smiled sadly at him.

"I think Rei-kun is having a hard time," Gou whispered.

"Huh?" Nagisa asked, not hearing her. Gou looked back at Nagisa, realizing her blunder.

"N-Nevermind!"

* * *

Kanade and Makoto were on their way to the Tachibana household. Kanade kept lagging behind, her eyes constantly taking in the scenery. They were about to climb the stone steps up the house when Kanade stopped and stared out at the ocean. Makoto stopped walking and looked at her.

"Kanade?" Makoto called. Kanade turned her head up at him.

"This is so beautiful, Makoto," she said. "You woke up every morning to this?"

Makoto smiled and nodded. "I guess we kinda got used to it," he responded. He stared out at the ocean, with the sun still high in the sky. "Ready?" he asked her. She responded with a smile and a nod.

They walked up the stone steps and turned right into the gate. Makoto walked up to the door and started to open it. But, the door flung open and out sprinted Ran and Ren.

"Onii-chan!" they both yelled, tackling him to the ground. Kanade took a step back and put her hand over her mouth to suppress a laugh.

"Ran! Ren!" Makoto yelled, laughing. "It's so good to see you!"

"We missed you, Onii-chan!" Ran said. "Ren cried like every day!"

"Did not!" Ren shouted back.

"Did too!"

"Guys, guys, don't fight!" Makoto said. "We have a guest." Makoto tilted his head back to look at Kanade, and Ran and Ren glanced up from their brother's chest to look at her.

"Onii-chan is right," a voice said from the doorway. Makoto looked towards the house and saw his mom and dad walking out of the house.

"Oh! Mom, dad!" he greeted as he gently pushed the twins off. He stood to his feet. He walked over to them and gave them both a hug.

"Good to see you, son," Mr. Tachibana said.

"So, is this the girl?" his mom whispered to him. Makoto looked back and saw Kanade staring at her shoes, her hands clasped together in front of her shyly. "She's really pretty."

"Mom!" Makoto whined, whipping his head back to her.

"Go on, Makoto. Introduce us," his father said. Makoto took a deep breath and walked over to stand next to Kanade.

"This is Kanade Shizumi. She goes to my school," Makoto introduced.

"N-Nice to meet you!" Kanade said, bowing. "Th-Thank you for letting me stay here over break!"

"Nice to meet you, too, Shizumi-san," Mrs. Tachibana greeted with a small bow.

"Ohh! Is she your girlfriend?" Ran asked. Kanade's eyes widened and her smile froze stiffly on her face.

Makoto's face burned hot and the tips of his ears reddened. He waved his hands at the twins.

"She's just a friend from school!" Makoto said.

"Onii-chan is blushing!" Ran teased.

"Ran, enough," Mr. Tachibana said. "Let's head inside. Your mom was about to start working on dinner."

"Oh? What's for dinner?" Makoto asked. Mrs. Tachibana smiled at him fondly.

"Green curry, of course!" she said.

"Green curry?!" Makoto and Kanade said in unison. They looked at each other with wide eyes.

"You like green curry?" Makoto asked.

"It's my favorite!" Kanade said. She turned to Mrs. Tachibana. "Would you like some help preparing it?" she asked.

Mrs. Tachibana looked surprised and then she smiled. "Of course! Makoto, take her bag to the guest room."

"Great!" Kanade chirped. She glanced at Makoto and nodded happily, and then turned to follow his mom into the house.

Makoto smiled and grabbed the bags and headed inside. He walked up the same old stairs, passing his bedroom and went into the guest room. After he dropped off their bags, he walked into the kitchen and started to talk to his dad about school. Kanade was busy chopping something at the counter, talking cheerfully with his mom.

"Wow, this recipe looks amazing!" Kanade said. "I can't believe this is Makoto's favorite. I've never seen him make it at school."

"Oh, sweetie, Makoto doesn't know how to cook!" Mrs. Tachibana said.

"No way!" Kanade said. She whirled around to stare at Makoto, who blinked at her. "So that's why there were so many take-out boxes!"

"Kanade!" Makoto whined. "You don't have to tell them that!" Kanade giggled at him.

"Sorry, sorry!" she apologized. _So he can't cook. That's a little… cute,_ she thought. She went back to chopping.

Once dinner was over, the twins each grabbed onto Kanade's arms.

"We want Kanade-Onee-chan to play with us!" Ren said.

"Onee-chan?" Kanade whispered, her lips pulling into a giddy smile.

"Yeah, please? Please!" Ran yelled, tugging on her arm.

"Come on, guys, we just got here. Why don't you let her rest?" Makoto scolded. Kanade waved him off and gave him an excited smile.

"No worries, Makoto! We can play! What do you guys want to play?" Kanade asked.

"Let's go outside!" Ran said.

"Yeah!" Ren said.

"Okay, okay!" Kanade said when they tugged on her arms. "I'll give you and your parents some alone time." She stood up and gave Makoto a little wink. Makoto's face flushed and he rubbed the back of his neck, nodding at her. She waved at his parents and had the twins lead her outside, Makoto watching her back as she went.

"So, Makoto," his father asked. His sudden voice made Makoto jump, and he whipped his head back to face him. "What's going on with you two?"

"Going… on?" Makoto repeated.

"Are you two dating?" his mother asked.

"Huh?! N-No, we're just good friends," Makoto said. He rubbed the nape of his neck again and stared at the table. "She's just a really good friend. A lot has happened and she's always been there to help me out. I owe her a lot."

"Just a friend, huh?" his father asked, smirking. He raised his hand to his chin. "The way you look at her makes me think differently."

"Eh… EH?!" Makoto said, flustered.

"Oh, come on now, Makoto. It's pretty obvious," his mother teased.

"You like her, don't you?" his father asked.

"W-W-Wait a minute!" Makoto stuttered. "I, uh, I…"

"Aw, he's blushing," his mother said, putting her hand to her cheek.

"Mooom!" Makoto whined, covering his face.

"Fine, fine! You don't have to admit it," his mother said. "She's a good fit for you, though. She's got spunk!"

"Yeah, I agree," his father said. "Just don't beat around the bush, Makoto."

Makoto uncovered his face. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, if you like her, then ask her out. Doesn't have to be anything serious or fancy. You don't want someone else snatching her up, do you?" his father asked.

Makoto paused at his father's words. Did he like her? He thought she was pretty, and her swimming was incredible. Her laugh always made him feel so warm, and his heart jumped every time her piercing blue eyes stared back into his. Her smile was always so welcoming and she was full of energy, ambition, life...

But did that mean he actually liked her?

Makoto had felt some connections with her in the times they have been together, but he felt a little uncertain if that actually meant he wanted to be with her. Sure, he has had crushes in the past, but Kanade...

Kanade was different.

"Thanks, dad," Makoto said slowly. "I'll think about it."

Makoto helped clean up after dinner and then headed for the front door. He was about to open the door when he heard giggling. He quietly slid open the door and peeked his head out, his eyes curious. His eyes widened when he saw Kanade playing and laughing with both of the twins, her smile reaching her blue eyes. Both of the twins leaped on Kanade and knocked her over, all three of them laughing. Kanade chuckled a little more before looking up to see Makoto standing at the doorway. She flashed him a gorgeous smile.

Makoto felt his heart tighten, and he lifted his hand to rest it on his chest. His heart pounded underneath his hand, and he felt his jaw drop. Her smile, her laugh, her hair, her eyes… Makoto did not want to go a day without seeing it, seeing her, seeing… all of it. Makoto jumped when he realized it.

He liked her.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

* * *

"Aww, Onii-chan! Where are you going?"

"I told you guys! Kanade and I are heading to the school to see our friends!"

"Whaaa? Kanade-Onee-chan is going, too?!"

Ran and Ren were holding on to Makoto's waist at the entryway of their home. Kanade had her duffle bag in her hand and she smiled at the twins. She put her hands on their shoulders, making them turn around.

"We'll be back later," Kanade said to them.

"Promise?" Ren asked. Kanade nodded.

"Oh! And guess what?" Kanade said, making her eyes wide. Makoto could not help but smile, happy that she was so good with the twins. "A special friend is coming home today."

"Special friend?" Ren asked. Ran's head snapped up to Makoto.

"Is it Haru-chan?!" Ran chirped.

"Yep!" Makoto answered. Ran and Ren glanced at each other and bounced and cheered happily. "So can you guys wait until we get back this afternoon?"

"Okay," they both said happily.

Makoto glanced at Kanade, grabbing his bag. He gave her a thankful smile.

"Ready?" he asked. Kanade nodded.

"Let's go!"

* * *

Haru slumped in his seat and stared out the window. The scenery whizzed by as the train sped down the track on its way towards the coast and his hometown. He sighed as he leaned his head on his hand, feeling anxiety bubble in his stomach. He opened his phone to his most recent text messages.

One was from Makoto.

 _To: Haru_

 _We're heading to Iwatobi High, can't wait til you get here!_

The other, from Torii.

 _To: Haru N_

 _Make sure you actually talk to him. You need to get your focus back on track._

Haru put his phone away. It would be fine. He would just bring up the rumors and talk to him about it. Without Kanade there. Haru furrowed his brows. He felt uptight as he tugged on the sleeve of his shirt.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. Haru sighed again and pulled it out.

 _1 New Message_

 _Rin_

Haru's eyes widened at seeing the contact. He immediately opened the text.

 _To: Haru_

 _Hey, Haru! We're having extra training, but I'll be back in Iwatobi at the end of this week. Can you handle this Makoto situation until then?_

Haru tapped his fingers nervously on his knee, studying the text. He might be able to talk to Makoto in that time. He just has to get Makoto alone.

 _To: Rin_

 _Maybe._

 _..._

Then, Haru remembered Gou's message about attending the training camp. He wrote out another text.

 _To: Rin_

 _The Iwatobi swim club is doing the summer training camp again. Want to come?_

Only a few minutes passed until Rin sent a reply back.

 _To: Haru_

 _Is Makoto going?_

 _To: Rin_

 _Yeah_

 _To: Haru_

 _Will he be okay?_

Haru hesitated. He had not thought of that. It had been a while since the whole incident with Rei and Makoto's near-death experience, so Haru was unsure of how Makoto was handling it all. Rin knew about Makoto's fears, but he was unsure if he knew about the incident at the islands. Did Makoto still have fears?

Haru furrowed his brows. Just another thing that made him feel distant from Makoto.

 _To: Rin_

 _I'm not sure_

There was a brief pause in between the texts, and Haru leaned back in his seat and folded his arms across his chest. He tapped his fingers against his arm, waiting impatiently for Rin's text. Finally, he received a text.

 _To: Haru_

 _Hell. Maybe I'll go. Sounds interesting enough. And maybe I'll get to talk to Makoto about this girl, then._

Haru paused, his eyes glued to the screen. He hung his head as he typed out a text back.

 _To: Rin_

 _Actually… you'll get to meet her. She's in Iwatobi with Makoto._

Another long pause.

 _To: Haru_

 _…When's the wedding?_

Haru's eyes widened and he slid his phone shut, not wanting to respond. He put his phone in his lap and stared back out the window.

Wedding?

He needed to talk to Makoto.

* * *

"Alright, everyone!" Gou called. "Makoto-senpai and Haruka-senpai will be here soon! So let's get warmed up, shall we?"

"Uwahh, can't we just wait until they get here?" Nagisa whined.

"Nope!" Gou said. "Coach Sasabe has been so busy lately that he hasn't been able to come help us out. So we need to show those two that we are capable of adjusting without him."

"Ohh, I can't wait until they get here!" Nagisa chirped.

"You're right, Nagisa-kun," Rei said. He put his hand to his chin thoughtfully and had a wistful look in his eyes. "I have so many questions for them! What it's like at university, and how their courses are going…"

"Rei-chan, you're so boring…" Nagisa pouted.

"B-Boring?!"

"Now, now! Let's get training!" Gou commanded. "We have to start some laps before Makoto-senpai and Haruka-senpai get here."

"Oh, should I come back later?"

Everyone turned towards the pool entrance wall and saw Makoto standing with a duffle bag in his hand, his head tilted and a smile shining brightly on his face. Nagisa's face lit up and he jumped.

"Wah! It's Mako-chan!" Nagisa shouted. He ran over and jumped on top of Makoto, giving him a huge hug. "Mako-chan! Mako-chan!"

"Nagisa!" Makoto chuckled, hugging him back. "It's so good to see you!"

"Nagisa-kun!" Rei shouted, and was standing next to them in flash. He pulled off Nagisa and then bowed to Makoto. "It's so good to see you, Makoto-senpai." Makoto smiled at him.

"You too, Rei," Makoto said. "I've missed you!"

Rei's eyes widened and then squinted when they filled with tears. He rushed over to Makoto and gave him a hug as well. Of course, Nagisa joined back in for another hug, burying his face in Makoto's chest.

"Ah, Makoto-senpai!" Gou said, running towards him. "I'm so glad you're here!" She flashed him a small and put her hands behind her back.

"Ah, me too, Gou-chan!" Makoto said.

Then, the sound of the gate shutting could be heard from outside, and Nagisa perked up, lifting his head from Makoto's chest.

"Ah, that must be Haru-chan!" Nagisa ran out from the pool and towards the gate.

"Uwahh, w-wait, Nagisa!" Makoto called.

"Haru-chan! Haru-chan!" Nagisa shouted, and disappeared behind the wall. He saw a figure standing by the gate and he ran up and jumped on them. "Haru-chan!"

"Uwahhh!" the person yelled as Nagisa fell on top of them, and they both fell on the ground.

Nagisa leaned his head up and glanced down at the person he was on top of. It was a girl with black hair and blue eyes. She stared up at him with wide eyes. He cocked his head in confusion.

"Huh? You're not Haru-chan," Nagisa said. The girl gave him a small smile.

"Heh, I'm sorry," she apologized.

Makoto came around the corner and saw Nagisa sitting on top of Kanade and he ran towards them. Gou and Rei were right behind him and Rei's jaw dropped when he saw Nagisa on top of her.

"Nagisa-kun, what on earth are you doing?!" Rei yelled.

"Huh? I was looking for Haru-chan," Nagisa said plainly. He stood up and helped the girl up. "Sorry about that," Nagisa apologized with a smile. Makoto, Rei, and Gou walked over to them.

"Ah, no biggie!" Kanade said, putting her hands on her hips. "I'm pretty solid!" Kanade winked at Makoto, who jumped and smiled. He remembered when they first met.

 _"Oh, I hope you didn't get hurt from the fall earlier!"_

 _"Nah, I'm pretty solid!"_

Makoto smiled at the memory. He stood next to Kanade and turned to face the rest of the group.

"Guys, this is Kanade Shizumi. She's a good friend of mine from school," Makoto introduced.

"Ohhh! A friend from school!" Nagisa shouted. He paused and put a hand to his chin. "Kanade… Shizumi… Kana…OH! Kana-chan!"

Kanade jumped at the new nickname. "Kana… chan?" she repeated.

"Nagisa-kun, don't be rude!" Rei scolded.

"I'm Nagisa Hazuki! And this is Rei-chan and Gou-chan!"

"Kou…" Gou corrected.

"I'm Rei Ryugazaki," Rei corrected. He bowed. "It's nice to meet you, Shizumi-san."

"It's nice to meet you, too, Ryugazaki-kun!" Kanade greeted.

"So you're from Makoto-senpai's university?" Gou asked. Kanade nodded happily.

"I'm on the swim team there," Kanade said, a little shyly.

"Wha! The swim team?!" Nagisa shouted. "Wow! Mako-chan knows how to make good friends!"

"Nagisa-kun, are you suggesting that they are only good friends because she is on the swim team?" Rei asked, his brow cocked.

"Aw, don't be like that, Rei-chan!" Nagisa said. "So, Mako-chan, how'd you two meet?"

Makoto jumped and rubbed the back of his neck. "Eh, w-well, we kind of ran into each other. Literally."

"Ohh, so Kana-chan is clumsy!"

"Nagisa-kun!" Rei scolded.

"C'mon, Mako-chan, Kana-chan! You need to meet the rest of the team!" Nagisa ran back into the pool area. Makoto looked at Kanade and gave her an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, he's a little energetic," Makoto said as they walked towards the pool area.

"I think he's fun," Kanade giggled.

"So, are you thinking about being a professional swimmer?" Gou asked. Kanade nodded.

"That's the goal!" she said.

"Hey, over here!" Nagisa called, waving from the pool. He stood next to the three first-years. "Let me introduce you!" Nagisa introduced two of the three first-years to Makoto and Kanade. "And this is Dai-chan!"

Dai sat quietly at the edge of the pool, kicking his leg solemnly in the water. He glanced up at Makoto and Kanade and gave a curt nod.

"Eheh… he's a little shy," Nagisa explained, rubbing the back of his head. "So, you guys are gonna swim with us, right?"

"Yes, yes, we brought our jammers, Nagisa," Makoto said, trying to calm down his excitement.

"Yay! Then I'll be going in first! Let's go, Dai-chan!" Nagisa pushed Dai into the pull and Dai fell with a yelp.

The other first-years laughed, while Rei face-palmed. Makoto and Kanade glanced at each other and smiled, while Gou shouted at Nagisa and told him to be nice to his kouhai. Dai rose to the surface with an irritated look on his face. He turned away from the group and swam down his lane.

"Well, I'll go get changed," Kanade said, heading towards the girls' locker room. Makoto nodded and followed, heading into the guys' locker room. Makoto came out in his jammers and Kanade her swimsuit. She wore track pants over it.

"All right!" Nagisa shouted, putting on his swim cap and goggles. "Hey, watch me, Mako-chan!"

Nagisa got on the starting block and got ready. He dove in and tore through the water in his breaststroke. Makoto smiled brightly, and Kanade glanced up to see his smile, making her smile.

"Wow, he's gotten so much better!" Makoto exclaimed.

"That's our captain!" Gou said, putting her hands on her hips. "He's really done well, Makoto-senpai." Makoto smiled and nodded at Gou. He turned his head back to watch Nagisa's last leg, his arms stretching out just like usual, pulling him ahead even faster. He hit the wall and lifted his head up.

"Did you see, did you see?!" he shouted. Makoto laughed and nodded.

"You looked awesome, Nagisa!" Makoto said.

"You were really fast, Hazuki-kun!" Kanade said with a smile.

Nagisa's magenta eyes sparkled and lifted a hand out of the pool. "All right!" he shouted.

Rei, who was standing next to Gou, put on his goggles and then placed his hands on his hips.

"Well then, since Haruka-senpai isn't here yet, perhaps I'll have to show you my butterfly technique! You'll see that it has definitely improved since last year!" Rei said, and he stood on the starting block.

Rei took a deep breath and then dove in, his dive hitting the water accurately and precisely. He started his butterfly stroke down his lane. Makoto smiled brightly at him.

"He's improved, too," Makoto said.

"I agree!" Gou said. "He's a lot faster than last year. I think he can compete in individuals a little more easily this year."

Makoto nodded at Gou and then turned to face Kanade. "What do you think, Kanade—" Makoto stopped talking when he saw her face.

Kanade's eyes were wide and her jaw was dropped. Her brows were lowered in worry.

"Kanade?" Makoto called.

He was about to put his hand on her shoulder when she suddenly took off and ran down the side of the pool. She knelt down in front of Rei's lane and when he reached the wall she grabbed his shoulder. Rei stopped swimming and snapped his head out of the water and stared up at Kanade.

"Ah, Sh-Shizumi-san?!" Rei panted, confused.

"Ryugazaki-kun, come out for a second," Kanade said. Rei blinked at her, but complied, dragging himself out of the pool. Kanade helped him out of the pool. He took off his cap and goggles and stared at her questioningly.

Nagisa, Makoto, and Gou all approached the two, all with worried expressions on their faces.

"Kanade, what's wrong?" Makoto asked. Kanade glanced up at him.

"Ryugazaki-kun is doing his butterfly stroke incorrectly," she said simply.

"What?" Rei asked. "That's impossible! Rin-san showed me exactly how to do it. I studied all of the theories."

"Ryugazaki-kun, has your shoulder been bothering you?" Kanade asked.

Gou and Nagisa jumped at Kanade's question and they turned to Rei with questioning glances. Makoto also looked at him with a worried look.

"Well… maybe a little," Rei said quietly.

"Rei-chan!" Nagisa yelled.

"Rei-kun!" Gou said in a scolding tone.

Rei flinched and looked down. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I didn't really think it was a problem."

"Ryugazaki-kun, sit here," Kanade said, motioning to the edge of the pool. Rei blinked a few times and then complied, moving to sit at the edge of the pool. He sat down with his legs in the pool and his back to Kanade. Kanade grabbed his right wrist and lifted it straight out.

"W-What're you—"

"Just trust me," Kanade said in a low whisper. Rei looked at her and felt a small blush on his cheeks. He glanced down at her hand grasping his wrist. She moved his arm back in the butterfly motion and then pulled it up over his head. She held it up over his head and used her other hand to feel his shoulder. "Does it hurt right here?" she asked.

Rei jumped. "Y-Yes," he said, surprised.

"Thought so," Kanade said. "The angle of your arms is too narrow. You need to widen it a little, like this," she said, and she moved his arm slightly out. "Now, does this same spot hurt?" Kanade pressed on the same spot on his shoulder.

Rei paused and then glanced back at her. "N-No, it doesn't!" he said.

Kanade smiled at him. "Good," she said. "You think you can remember to change your technique a little?"

"O-Of course! I will study it, immediately!" Rei said.

Kanade patted his shoulder and stood up.

"Why don't you give it a shot? It might be a little uncomfortable, but you'll get used to it," Kanade said, giving him a smile.

"Yes!" He said. He put on his cap and goggles and got back in the water, starting his butterfly down the rest of the lane.

"Wow!" Nagisa said. "Kana-chan, that was amazing!"

"How did you know about that?" Gou asked.

Kanade rubbed the back of her neck. "It's such a subtle change that can make a huge difference. It's hard to spot."

Makoto watched as Gou and Nagisa interacted with Kanade. They all had smiles on their faces and Nagisa was very excited about Kanade's trick to help Rei. Makoto smiled, his head tilting to the side. He felt pride swell inside his chest.

"All right! I wanna see Kana-chan swim!" Nagisa said. Kanade glanced back at Makoto.

"Wanna race?" she asked him. Makoto blinked but then put on a determined face.

"Let's do it!" he said.

They both walked to the starting block and took a step up onto it. Gou had a stopwatch and a whistle ready. Nagisa, Rei, and the first-years stood on the outside and watched.

"Ready!" Gou shouted.

They both leaned down at the block.

"Go!" she shouted, starting the stopwatch.

They both leaped from the block and dove into the water, starting the front crawl. Gou's eyes widened as she watched Kanade start to pull ahead of Makoto.

"What?! She's beating Mako-chan!" Nagisa shouted.

Kanade made it to the turn first, now seconds ahead of Makoto. Makoto could feel his heart pound as he tried to cut through the water. He pushed himself harder, his hands pushing the water out of his way.

"Go, Mako-chan!"

 _Wha… Nagisa?_

"Makoto-senpai!"

 _Rei._

Makoto waited for the last call of his name, but when he did not hear it, he tried to imagine it. He pushed through the water again, trying to hear that cheer in his head.

 _"ibana-kun! Tachibana-kun!"_

Makoto's heart jumped.

 _What? Whose voice…_

 _"Tachibana-kun!"_

This was not imagined. It was a memory. A memory from when they swam together the first time: when she asked to see his backstroke. She cheered for him that night. The voice echoed in his head as he swam down the lane, his hands hitting the wall.

"Wow!" Nagisa shouted.

"That was a beautiful race!" Rei commented, his hand on his hip.

"That was amazing!" Gou shouted.

Makoto took off his cap and goggles and looked at the lane next to him. Kanade was leaning her arms over the lane separators, panting. She had pulled off her goggles and swim cap and held them in her hand. She stared at Makoto and put on a smile and gave him a thumbs-up. Makoto smiled at her. He turned to the side of the pool and climbed out, walking to her lane. He extended his hand down to her.

"Nice race, Kanade- _chan_!" Makoto said with the tilt of his head. Kanade looked up at his hand and then his face and smiled.

"You, too, Makoto- _kun_!"

* * *

Haru walked down past the long buildings and towards the gate. He heard some shouting from the other side and he listened intently.

"Go, Mako-chan!"

"Makoto-senpai!"

Haru felt his heart jump, and he rushed to the gate, walking through it and heading towards the pool. He heard more voices.

"Wow!"

"What a beautiful race!"

"That was amazing!"

Haru turned the corner and froze. In front of him stood Makoto, extending his hand down to none other than Kanade Shizumi.

"Nice race, Kanade-chan!"

"You, too, Makoto-kun!"

Haru's heart jumped inside his chest.

 _Makoto-_ kun _?_

Kanade reached up and took Makoto's head and he pulled her up. A second leap raised his heart into his throat. He felt that unfamiliar feeling sink in his stomach once again, harder than it had in the past. He took a step forward, wanting to go straight to Makoto, but his foot froze when he saw the two of them talking happily, bright smiles on both of their faces.

"Ohh?! It's Haru-chan!" Nagisa shouted.

Haru watched as Makoto turned his head back and they made eye contact. While Gou, Rei, and Nagisa approached Haru and started to hug him, Haru kept his eye on Makoto, and Makoto did not look away. Even though they were only feet away, Haru felt that they were miles apart from each other. For the first time, Haru saw something different in those green eyes. Something he did not quite recognize.

And it was driving him crazy.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

* * *

"Haru-chan!"

"Haruka-senpai!"

Nagisa had his arms wrapped around Haru while Rei stood next to them both, his face shining and happy. Haru's eyes were still fixed on Makoto, feeling some unnerving tension rising between them both.

"We missed you, Haru-chan!" Nagisa said, rubbing his head into Haru's chest.

Haru forced his gaze down at Nagisa and tried for a smile.

"Yeah, me too," Haru said.

"Will you be joining us in swimming?" Rei asked.

Haru's eyes shimmered at the thought, but he turned his gaze back to Makoto, who was happily chatting with Kanade. He gave a small hum, making Nagisa cheer.

"C'mon, Haru-chan! Let's introduce you!" Nagisa said, dragging Haru by his arm towards the pool. "Hey, guys! Come here and meet Haru-chan!" he yelled to his teammates. They gathered around the edge of the pool and watched as Nagisa introduced Haru to them.

Nagisa let go of Haru once they got by the pool. After introductions, Gou told the first-years to start swimming again, and Rei and Nagisa discussed how things would go in the training camp next week.

Haru glanced at Makoto, who at that moment turned his head to look at him. They made eye contact, and Makoto gave him that signature smile.

"Glad to see you made it," Makoto said happily.

Haru paused.

"Yeah," he agreed. Kanade approached Haru and gave a head tilt of her own.

"Nice to see you again, Nanase-kun," Kanade greeted.

Haru lowered his brows and turned his head away. Makoto's smile faltered and he blinked at him. He felt something pang in his chest as he stared at his best friend.

Kanade peered up at Makoto's pained face and her smile wilted as well. She turned back to the pool and watched the first-years swim, trying to escape the awkward tension looming like a storm cloud behind her.

Haru saw her turn around and he took a deep breath, his head moving back to look at Makoto.

"Makoto," Haru called suddenly. Makoto snapped his head back to look at Haru.

"Hm? What's up, Haru?" Makoto asked.

"I need to head home," he said. Makoto's eyes widened.

"Eh? Now?"

"Yeah. You need to come with me."

"Eh?! What for?" Makoto asked, his jaw dropping. Kanade turned her head to peek at the two of them.

"I have an errand to run," Haru said. He turned to head out the gate. "It's urgent. Let's go." He walked towards the gate and Makoto flailed his arms at him.

"W-Wait, Haru! Let me get my things!" Makoto said.

"Huh? Mako-chan, Haru-chan, are you leaving?" Nagisa whined. He gave his best puppy-dog eyes, making Rei slap his forehead.

"Ahh, sorry!" Makoto said. "We'll come by again tomorrow. Promise!" Makoto said. He grabbed a shirt and started to put it on when Kanade stepped in front of him.

"Everything okay?" Kanade asked.

"Y-Yeah," Makoto replied while putting on the shirt. "I have to head back now. Can you help out for the rest of practice here?" he asked, putting his stuff in his bag.

Kanade blinked at him. "U-Uh, yeah, sure thing!" she answered, watching him fumble with his things. He gave her a strained smile.

"Thank you!" Makoto said, and he stood to his feet. "I'll see you later, Kanade!" he said, and he rushed to the gate to catch up with Haru.

Kanade waved him off, watching him disappear behind the wall. She turned back to rest of the team and nodded.

"Okay, let's get to work!"

* * *

"Haru! Haru!" Makoto called, finally catching up to him. He was out of breath by the time he got to Haru's side. "What's going on? Where are we going?"

"I have errands to run," Haru said.

"And you need to do them right this second?"

"Yes."

"Haruu!" Makoto whined. "Didn't you want to say hi to Nagisa, Rei, Gou, and the others? They've been looking forward to spending time with you."

"You said something about hanging out with them tomorrow. So we'll do that tomorrow."

"Haru…" Makoto whispered. "Is everything okay?"

Haru hesitated but kept walking, not making eye contact with Makoto.

 _Make sure you actually talk to him. You need to get your focus back on track_.

Torii's words from his text popped up into Haru's mind. This would be easy. Just go shopping, get Makoto back to his place, sit him down, and talk. Easy.

"I'm fine," Haru responded.

Makoto grabbed his wrist and stopped him, Haru whirling around and finally looking at him in the eye. Haru saw a pained look on Makoto's face, and he was transported back to the night when he and Makoto fought. Makoto had stopped him, just like this, to give him a look, just like this. The last thing he wanted to do was fight with Makoto. He hated seeing that hurt look on Makoto's face as he spouted hateful words at him, words that he did not even mean to say.

"I can tell something else is up," Makoto said, his hand still grasping Haru's wrist.

Haru's brows pressed together painfully. Seeing Makoto's concerned face here and now made Haru cringe, feeling that this could lead to a fight. He could not let that happen. He pursed his lips.

"M-Ma…" Haru started. Makoto raised his brows, and Haru bit his lip.

 _Come on, think of something,_ Haru told himself.

"Mackerel."

Makoto hesitated, his hand loosening on Haru's wrist.

"Mackerel?" Makoto repeated.

"Yeah," Haru said. "They didn't have any at school. I need to get some."

Makoto deadpanned, letting go of Haru's wrist. He lifted up a hand to wipe his face.

"Why do you choose to get all passionate about this _now_?" Makoto whined.

Haru's shoulders slumped and relaxed. Makoto bought his lie. For now.

"Can't this wait until later? I left Kanade alone back there," Makoto asked.

"No," Haru said immediately. "If I want to have dinner ready on time, I have to go get the ingredients now."

Makoto sighed. "And you _absolutely_ need me to go with you?"

"Yes."

Makoto stared at him for a minute, seeing Haru's serious expression. He lifted a hand to his mouth and coughed out a laugh, a smile pulling on his lips.

"Alright, alright. But you owe them all an apology!" Makoto said. He adjusted his bag on his shoulder. "Or… since you're making dinner, why don't you invite them all over?"

Haru paused and thought about Makoto's suggestion. He really wanted to be alone with Makoto…

"Too much effort," Haru said.

"Haru!" Makoto whined. "Please? At least Nagisa and Rei… and Kanade, of course." Haru stared at his puppy-dog eyes, shimmering their brilliant green. "Pleease? I'll help!" Makoto slapped his palms together and bowed his head down, playfully pleading. Haru's brow quirked at the display and he sighed.

"Fine," he responded. Makoto snapped his head up and smiled brightly, the smile reaching his eyes. "But you're not going to help."

"Huh?!"

"Let's go, Makoto," Haru said, walking towards a market.

"W-Wait! Haruu!"

* * *

Nagisa slammed his hands against the wall and raised his head out of the water, panting furiously. Water splashed all around him in small droplets. Kanade walked over to him and hovered over him.

"Nice work, Hazuki-kun!" Kanade said.

"Ooh, thank you, Kana-chan!" Nagisa said, climbing out of the pool.

A few seconds later, Rei slammed his hands on the wall and he raised his head out of the water as well. He panted, taking off his cap and goggles. He stared ahead, his eyes wide in surprise on how fluid his last run had gone. He rolled his shoulder carefully, not feeling any pain.

"Ryugazaki-kun, does your shoulder feel better?" Kanade asked, turning to Rei and helping him out of the pool.

"Much! Thank you for your advice," Rei said with a smile, standing next to Nagisa. "It'll take some adjusting, but I think it'll be quite useful in the long run."

"Good!" Kanade said.

She turned back to the pool and saw Dai sitting on the edge, his feet still in the water. He hung his head, his face looking strained. Kanade frowned slightly and headed towards him. She knelt down to him.

"Your form is really accurate," Kanade started, peering at his face. He glanced up, his expression off-putting. "And it's really clean, too. You're really fast!"

Dai hesitated. "Yeah. Thanks," he responded, turning his gaze back to the water.

"So, your fastest stroke is the front crawl. You're faster than the other first-years, so you think you'd want to be on the relay team?"

Dai's brows lowered into a scowl as he stood to his feet. "No," he said, storming off.

Kanade blinked at him as he walked away, speechless. She stood up to her feet and rested her hands by her sides. Nagisa and Rei walked up to her, both with towels around their necks. Rei had his glasses on his face.

"Don't mind him, Shizumi-san," Rei said.

"Dai-chan is a little moody!" Nagisa whispered.

"Nagisa-kun!" Rei scolded.

"What? It's true…" Nagisa pouted. Rei sighed and shook his head. He rubbed his hair with the towel.

"Is he okay?" Kanade asked. "He seems to have a lot on his mind."

"I think he's a little… troubled," Rei answered softly, adjusting his glasses.

"Oh," Kanade sighed. "I hope he'll be okay."

"He will, he will!" Nagisa said.

"Well, Shizumi-san, how long are you here for?" Rei asked.

"Yeah! Are you coming to the training camp with us?" Nagisa asked. Kanade smiled and put a hand to her chin.

"Makoto mentioned something about a training camp. I thought it would be good training for me, too!" she said cheerfully.

"Ooh! Kana-chan being productive over the break!" Nagisa said. "Maybe I'll do one more lap and—"

A large growl bellowed from Nagisa's stomach. Rei and Kanade looked at him, Rei deadpanning and Kanade giggling.

"Oh, eheh, I guess I'm hungry!" Nagisa said, rubbing his belly.

"I suppose we could get something to eat on the way home, then," Rei said. He grabbed his bag that rested on a chair nearby and started to look through it, adjusting his glasses every so often.

"Oh, Kana-chan, wanna come with us?" Nagisa asked, his eyes sparkling.

Kanade smiled. "That sounds nice, but I think I should be getting back to…" Kanade froze, her smile fading and her eyes wide. "Uh…

"Hm? What's wrong, Kana-chan?" Nagisa asked. Kanade laughed nervously and rubbed the back of her neck.

"I kinda don't remember where Makoto lives," Kanade explained.

"Ehh?! Don't you live in Tokyo? Isn't that a really confusing city?" Nagisa asked.

"W-Well, I'm used to the city…but the back roads around here are kind of confusing," Kanade said.

"We can walk her back to Mako-chan's place, right, Rei-chan?" Nagisa asked. Rei was staring down at his phone. Once he heard his name, he looked up and smiled.

"Actually, we've all been invited to dinner at Haruka-senpai's house," Rei said, lifting up his phone. "So we would be happy to accompany you back!"

Kanade's smile returned. "Ah, thank you so much!"

After the three got dressed, they headed out of the gate and down the path along the coast. The three of them chatted about little things. Nagisa and Rei would talk about the day at school, Kanade listening to the two interact with each other. She giggled at their antics every now and then, and her gaze often drifted back to stare out at the ocean. The sun was starting to set, and the view of it over the ocean was incredible. She smiled happily.

"Do you like it here, Kana-chan?" Nagisa asked. Kanade turned her head back to the two of them. She nodded.

"It's so beautiful here!" Kanade said. "But I'm not sure if I could get used to how quiet it is."

"Do you like Tokyo?" Rei asked, a small smile pulling at his lips.

"Yes, I do," Kanade said. "I grew up there, so it's really my home."

"I see," Rei said. He gripped the strap of his bag and took a deep breath. "Do you like your university?" he asked. Kanade looked at him and nodded.

"Yeah, it's really great. I'm having fun there," Kanade said.

"What makes it fun?" Nagisa asked, his eyes now serious. "I mean, it's _school_. How can that be fun?"

Kanade blinked.

 _Makoto has made everything about school fun._

Kanade blushed and looked away, her eyes staring at the ocean.

"Nagisa-kun, do you really hate school that much?" Rei asked.

"Just math," Nagisa said with a cheeky smile.

"But math is an important part of the learning process. When the calculations come together beautifully to create the perfect answer, it—"

"Aw, Rei-chan! Math is so boring!" Nagisa interrupted.

"Well, you'll need to know it in the future!" Rei said. "Are you really that callous against studying and learning?"

"N-No! I just don't know much about university, I guess," Nagisa said softly.

Kanade studied their frazzled expressions for a moment. She cocked her head and gave a gentle smile. "You two are third-years, right?" she asked. Nagisa and Rei snapped their heads towards her.

"You two are third-years, right?" she asked. Nagisa and Rei snapped their heads towards her.

"Yes, we are," Rei answered.

"Do you guys know what you're doing after graduation?" Kanade asked.

Nagisa and Rei stole nervous glances at each other, and then avoided each other's eyes. Nagisa fidgeted with the hem of his shirt while Rei adjusted his glasses with a shaking hand. Neither one of them said a word, and they walked a few feet in silence.

Kanade stared at them and saw their strained expressions. She had only known them for a few hours, but she knew right away that their current mannerisms were unusual. Nagisa was usually all smiles. He was playful and happy, always speaking his mind.

But right now, he was silent.

Meanwhile, Rei talks about calculations in a fluid and technical manner. He spoke about how if things came together just right, it would be beautiful. He always had an answer, no matter how technical or strange.

But right now, he was silent.

Seeing them both with such nervous and sad expressions on their faces only made Kanade conclude that there was tension. Kanade put on an understanding smile and locked her fingers behind her back as she walked.

"It's okay to not know," she said, her voice breaking the silence.

Rei and Nagisa snapped their heads back to her, curious about her sudden words.

"Not… know?" Rei repeated, his brows creasing with minor anxiety. Kanade nodded at him.

"About what to do after graduation. It's okay to not know," Kanade said, turning her head to give them a smile. She was met with widened eyes and dropped jaws.

"What do you mean?" Nagisa piped up. Rei shot a glance at Nagisa before returning his keen eyes back to Kanade.

Kanade smiled and then glanced up at the orange sky. "When I was in high school, I thought I could go on living carefree and not worry about things like the future. But then, something… happened, and there was a time where I was in a dark place."

Kanade stared at a small cloud that slowly moved its way across the darkening sky. Images of that room, those people with the gloves, an annoying beep.

"People were telling me that I couldn't do something I wanted to do, but I kept telling them otherwise. People were angry with my decisions, and they were upset with me. So, when I was so lost, my old man gave me some advice."

Kanade closed her eyes, remembering her caretaker putting his hand on her arm and saying…

"He said that a ship won't turn unless it's already moving forward. If it's just sitting at port, it won't reach its destination. But if it's moving forward, it has the liberty to turn left or right whenever the captain wanted."

Kanade paused, opening her eyes to look up at the sky again.

"So, even though you don't know what you want to do now, just keep going. Keep searching, keep working hard, so when you _do_ know what you want to do, your ship will already be on its way. You'll be ready to start doing what you want to do."

Kanade lowered her head and stared at the ground, waiting for a response. But, she heard nothing. Then, she realized that she did not hear footsteps with hers. She stopped walking and turned around. Rei and Nagisa had stopped walking, their wide eyes staring at her with mouths agape. Kanade felt her face flush a little and she rubbed the back of her head nervously.

 _Ack, I probably said too much…_ she thought.

"Kana-chan…" Nagisa whispered, his magenta eyes quivering.

"Ah, too sappy?" Kanade said softly.

"Shizumi-san… that… was really beautiful," Rei said softly. A pink blush painted the corners of his eyes as a few tears welled up.

"Ryugazaki-kun…" Kanade whispered, walking to him.

She reached up and put a hand on his shoulder, watching him as he took off his glasses and wiped his eyes. Kanade gripped his shoulder, trying to calm him. Then, she heard a sniffle next to her, and she turned to see Nagisa also wiping his eyes.

"Hazuki-kun," she whispered. His sad face broke Kanade's heart. She reached her other hand over and gripped his shoulder as well.

"Why don't we go eat?" Kanade said. She let go of their shoulders and locked her arms with theirs. They both glanced down at her, surprised at her actions. "Another saying that my old man used to say was, 'Food fills the hole that sadness creates,' or something like that…"

Rei and Nagisa stared at her, blinking a few times before smiles cracked on their faces. They exchanged teary-eyed smiles before laughing, and Nagisa rubbed his face.

"Alright! To Haru-chan's!" Nagisa said. He ran a few steps forward out of Kanade's grasp before turning around. "Race you there!"

Kanade jumped. "Ah, well, I'm not so good at run—"

"A race, you say?" Rei said. Kanade looked over at Rei. He was adjusting his glasses and had a competitive smug on his face. "You may be faster than me in water, but I will prevail on land!" Rei then took off after him, passing him easily on the street. Kanade scrambled on her heels, yelling after them.

"W-Wait! I still don't know where he lives! Guys! Uwahhh!"

* * *

"Let's see, there's me, you, Nagisa, Rei, and Kanade. So we'll need five plates…"

Makoto was busy mumbling to himself, trying to set up the table. Haru was in the kitchen, flipping the mackerel in the frying pan. He turned his head back at Makoto, his brow twitching. He still had not brought up the topic of Kanade. The others would be here any minute.

It's now or never.

"Makoto," Haru called, turning back to the stove. Makoto looked up from the table at Haru. "So… you live with Shizumi, right?"

"Uh, yeah," Makoto said, a small smile on his face.

"You don't notice anything… strange with her, do you?" Haru asked.

"Strange?" Makoto repeated, his smile faltering. "What do you mean?"

Haru hesitated, tapping the mackerel with his spatula. "Do you know if she's hanging out with a bad crowd or anything?"

Makoto hesitated. "No. Actually, I rarely see her with anyone," Makoto said. He rubbed the back of his neck sadly.

"What about in her apartment?"

"Huh? Her apartment?" Makoto asked, putting down the set of plates on the table. He glanced at Haru worriedly. "Haru, what are you talking about?"

Haru fidgeted with the spatula in his fingers. "Well... did you see anything out of place there? Did you see any dru—"

"We're here!"

Nagisa burst through the door, interrupting Haru's question. Makoto stood up from the table and smiled, greeting them. Rei stood behind him with, his white uniform shirt covered in dirt and his green tie wrinkled.

"Rei, what happened?" Makoto asked, looking at his shirt. Rei sighed and adjusted his glasses.

"Nagisa-kun tripped me to gain the lead during a race here," Rei said.

"Uwah, come on, Rei-chan! It wasn't on purpose!" Nagisa chirped. "It was an accident!"

"Well you could've let me fall more gracefully," Rei said. "It wasn't beautiful at all!"

"Ah, Rei-chan, you're too sensitive!" Nagisa said, patting Rei on his back.

Suddenly, panting could be heard from the doorway. They all turned towards the doorway to see Kanade resting her hands on her knees, panting furiously.

"How… do you guys… have so much… stamina?" she asked through gasps. She glanced up at Makoto and gave him a small smile. "I lost… the race."

Makoto smiled at her. "That's okay," he said. "Come in, dinner is almost ready."

Kanade straightened and walked into Haru's home. She removed her shoes and put down her bag.

"I didn't know you lived so close to Makoto, Nanase-kun!" Kanade said, walking towards the kitchen.

Haru jumped, feeling himself cringe at the sound of his name. He turned his head to acknowledge her and then he looked back down at the pan in front of him.

"Yeah," he said plainly.

"What's for dinner, Haru-chan?!" Nagisa asked.

"Mackerel," he answered quickly.

"Mackerel?!" Nagisa groaned.

"Still have an obsession for Mackerel, I see, Haruka-senpai," Rei noted.

"Ohh, mackerel?!"

Haru jumped, surprised by the sudden silvery voice speaking. Rei, Nagisa, and Makoto turned towards Kanade, also surprised by her voice.

"I love mackerel!" she said. Haru turned his head to hear her.

"Huh? You like mackerel, Kanade?" Makoto asked. She nodded happily.

"Oh, yeah! I haven't been able to have any in a while, though," she said. She turned to Haru. "Need any help, Nanase-kun?"

Haru's harsh brows raised in surprise. Her eyes were sparkling brightly and her smile reached her big, blue eyes.

Haru hesitated, looking to Makoto. Makoto made eye contact with him. He watched as Haru blinked slowly at him and then lowered his head uncomfortably.

"I think he's almost done, Kanade," Makoto said gently. Kanade looked at him and smiled, nodding. "You can help me set up the rest of the table, though."

"Sure thing!" Kanade said.

"Oh, lemme help, lemme help!" Nagisa said.

"Nagisa-kun, don't break those!" Rei scolded.

Haru turned his head to watch the four of them all helping set up the table. Rei and Nagisa were lively chatting, dragging Kanade into their conversation. She smiled at them and laughed. Haru's eyes hen moved to Makoto, and he felt his heart drop.

Makoto was staring fondly at Kanade, his eyes soft and longing. His lips were pulled into a small smile. Even when Kanade was looking away, Makoto kept his eyes on her, as if he was entranced. Then, Haru caught Makoto's gaze and they locked eyes.

"Oh, Haru," he said, his smile turning from loving to friendly. "What were you saying before?"

Haru stared back at Makoto, thinking of the exact words he wanted to say. He opened his mouth to speak, and then Kanade caught his eye. She was smiling happily, excited about the mackerel that soon would come. He watched her as she stared at Makoto from behind, her expression turning soft and affectionate. Haru's breath hitched in his chest.

"Nevermind."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

* * *

"Haru? I'm coming in!"

Makoto slid open the front door to Haru's house and stepped in. An overwhelming feeling of nostalgia hit him as he closed the door behind him. He headed straight for the bathroom and opened the door, seeing Haru soaking in the tub. He sighed and shook his head happily. He walked to the tub and extended a hand.

"Good morning, Haru-chan," Makoto said, tilting his head.

Haru furrowed his brows. "Lay off the –chan," he said, reaching up for Makoto's hand and grasping it. Makoto pulled him out of the tub and he deadpanned.

"Wearing your swimsuit again? Really, Haru?"

"It's comfortable," Haru said, stepping out of the tub. He dried off and headed towards the stairs, still clad in his swimsuit.

"Haru, wait!" Makoto called. "Put some clothes on!"

"Why?"

"Because—"

"Good morning, Nanase-kun!"

Haru froze at the bottom of the stairs. Kanade was sitting in the living room, dressed in shorts and a t-shirt. A huge smile was on her face and her blue eyes shined brightly. Haru cut a glance back up at Makoto, glaring at him. Makoto put up his hands in defense.

"I-I tried to warn you!" Makoto said. "We made plans to show Kanade around Iwatobi today, remember?"

Haru hesitated, turning his glance to the floor. "I didn't think she would be _here_ ," he mumbled.

"Ah, no worries, Nanase-kun," Kanade called. Haru glanced back at her. "Makoto told me this might happen, so it's no big deal."

Haru furrowed his brows. _Don't say his name so casually,_ he thought.

"Fine," Haru said. "I'll go get changed…" Haru started to go back up the stairs, but he then he stopped. "After I make mackerel."

"Haruu!" Makoto whined as Haru put on an apron and went into the kitchen. Kanade giggled, covering her mouth to stifle a snort. Haru felt his chest jolt at her laugh. It was a pure laugh, almost like Makoto's.

"It's fine, Makoto," Kanade said. "I could go for some mackerel, too."

"Eh?! Not you, too!"

* * *

Rei stared at the paper in front of him and lowered his brows. At the top read the words "Career Path Survey." He sighed, holding the paper in between his fingers.

"Now, you must turn these in when we get back from break," the teacher said at the front of the classroom.

Rei turned his eyes to look at Nagisa, who was also staring hard at his paper. He had a troubled look on his face.

"You all are dismissed for lunch."

After the class gave proper bows, Rei put the paper down on his desk and stood to his feet. He walked over to Nagisa, noting how he put the paper face-down on the desk.

"Ready for lunch, Nagisa-kun?" Rei asked tentatively. Nagisa put on a nervous smile.

"Yep!" Nagisa said, grabbing his bento.

They both made their way up the stairs to the roof, both silent. Rei thought about what Gou had told him.

 _"Just talk to him!"_

Rei stole a quick glance at Nagisa and then furrowed his brows, grimacing. _It's not that easy, Gou-san!_

Rei stopped on the step, making Nagisa stop and look at him.

"Hm? What's the matter, Rei-chan?" Nagisa asked, breaking the silence. Rei took a deep breath and then turned to Nagisa.

"What are your thoughts on the career path survey?"

There, finally, it's out in the open. Sort of.

Rei fidgeted with his bento in his hands, staring into shocked magenta eyes.

"Wha?! Rei-chan!" Nagisa exclaimed. "W-Why are you asking?!"

"B-Because we got that paper today!" Rei shouted back.

"Uhh, r-right," Nagisa said, chuckling lightly. "I'll probably just put whatever! Isn't it too early for the teachers to be asking us this stuff anyway?"

"O-Oh, r-right, I s-suppose so," Rei answered. He started up the steps again, his eyes on the ground. He had missed his opportunity!

Then, he remembered what Kanade had told them the other day.

 _"Even though you don't know what you want to do now, just keep going."_

Rei stopped again, feeling his heart jump in his chest.

 _"Keep searching, keep working hard, so when you do know what you want to do, your ship will already be on its way. You'll be ready to start doing what you want to do."_

Rei turned to Nagisa, feeling his heart in his chest swelling painfully. Nagisa was staring at him nervously.

 _"It's okay to not know."_

"Ah, Nagisa-kun," Rei started. "What… what did you think of what Shizumi-san said yesterday?"

"Huh? You mean… not knowing about the future?" Nagisa asked.

"Y-Yeah," Rei answered.

"W-Well... I thought it was good advice," Nagisa said softly. He lifted a hand to rub the back of his head and chuckled nervously. "I definitely needed to hear that!"

"Yeah," Rei responded. "Me, too."

"You, too, Rei-chan?" Nagisa asked, his eyebrows rising. "You're usually pretty confident in what you want, aren't you?"

"What makes you say that?"

"You're Rei-chan!" Nagisa said with a cheeky smile.

"Nagisa-kun! Be serious!" Rei shouted, throwing his hands by his sides. Nagisa's smile dwindled down to a frown.

"What about you, Rei-chan?" Nagisa asked quietly. Rei looked at him, his face softening. "What do you think about the survey?"

Rei's grip on his bento hardened. His thoughts started to plague his mind.

 _Just tell him. Tell him you're uncertain. Tell him you have no idea what to think._

 _Tell him… that you're afraid._

"I…" Rei stuttered.

"Oi."

Nagisa and Rei turned and looked down the steps to see an agitated Dai. He had one hand in his pocket while the other held his bento.

"They won't leave me alone," Dai said, pointing a thumb behind him to show the two other first-years quickly coming up the stairs. "Let's go eat lunch so I can escape them." Dai brushed past Nagisa and Rei and headed to the roof, the two first-years following and dragging Nagisa and Rei with them.

Once they made it up to the roof, Gou was impatiently waiting for them, a clipboard in her hand.

"Hey! You guys are late!" she shouted.

"Sorry, sorry!" one of the first-years said.

"Come on! We need to discuss the training regimen for this afternoon. Haruka-senpai will be joining us today."

The first-years all sat around Gou, while Nagisa and Rei waited at the doorway. Rei looked down at Nagisa. He saw an apprehensive look on his face. Rei sighed, feeling like a coward. The opportunity was gone again, and he still had not had a proper conversation with Nagisa. He put on a smile.

"Should we join them?" Rei asked. Nagisa glanced up at him, saw Rei's smile, and he put on a smile.

"Yeah!"

* * *

"So this is where it all started, huh?" Kanade asked, peering at the front of the Iwatobi SC.

"Yep!" Makoto said, opening the door. Haru and Kanade walked through the door. Kanade was immediately drawn to the pictures on the wall. She smiled and walked over them.

"Oh, wow!" she said, pointing to a picture. "Aw, look at you guys! You're so cute."

Makoto and Haru joined her by the picture. "Oh, yeah!" He said. "That was when we did the relay when we were kids!"

Kanade smiled at him and then studied the picture. "Who's this?" she asked, pointing to the small redhead smiling brilliantly in the picture. She noticed Haru's eyes focusing on the boy.

"Oh! That's Rin," Makoto answered. "He's in Australia right now for swimming."

"No way!" Kanade said. "That's awesome! What's he like?"

"Actually, isn't he coming later this week?" Makoto asked Haru.

"Yeah," Haru said immediately. Makoto chuckled lightly, his voice piercing the air.

"Haru's pretty excited for him to come back," Makoto said. "Did he challenge you to a race yet?" he asked Haru sarcastically.

"Yeah," Haru said.

"Oh, seriously? I was just kidding," Makoto said with a chuckle. He gave him a warm smile. "Some things never change."

"Oh, look!" Kanade called. She had moved down to a different picture. "It's you guys at nationals!"

Makoto and Haru joined her by the photo of the four of them at nationals. Three of them were smiling brightly while Haru avoided eye contact with the camera.

"Ah! I remember this!" Makoto said. "This was so fun. I loved that relay!"

Haru cracked a small smile. "Yeah," he said softly.

Kanade watched Haru's expression change, the look in his eyes turning less hostile and more affectionate. Kanade felt her heart melt at the sight and she smiled at him.

"Ah, Makoto! Haru!"

The three turned around and saw Goro Sasabe approaching them.

"Oh! Coach Sasabe!" Makoto said.

"I didn't expect you boys to be here so early! How are you two?" Goro asked.

"We're doing well," Makoto said. "Haru is doing well on his swim team!"

"Is that so? Well, it's good to hear it," Goro said. He was about to say something else when he saw Kanade standing behind Makoto. Goro could barely see her behind him and he raised a brow. "And who is this?" Goro asked with a small smile.

"Oh!" Makoto said, moving out of the way. "This is Kanade Shizumi. She's a friend from my university. She's on the swim team, as well."

"Nice to meet you!" Kanade said, bowing.

"Oh, nice to meet you, too, Shizumi-san!" Goro said, bowing slightly. "So what brings you all here today?"

"We're just showing Kanade around the town. Thought we would stop by here," Makoto answered.

"Oh! Good! I was meaning to talk to you guys when you got back, actually," Goro said. "I've been swamped here. And now that summer break is coming up for the kids, I won't be able to help out much with the Iwatobi High Swim Club. I was wondering if you all could really help them out, especially at their training camp next week."

"Oh, yeah, of course! Gou-chan said that you've been getting more kids to join, so you've been really busy here," Makoto explained. "She's already asked us to help out."

"Great!" Goro said. "And I'll give you guys a ride again for the camp."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot about the training camp," Kanade said. "It sounds like a lot of fun, though."

Makoto chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "It should be fun," he said.

Haru peered over at Makoto, noticing his strange reaction. He furrowed his brows and stared at the ground. Maybe going on this training camp was a bad idea after all.

* * *

"All right! You guys did really well today!" Gou said at the afternoon practice.

Everyone had worked really hard at the afternoon practice at Iwatobi High's pool. Nagisa and Rei were standing next to the first-years, who were all panting and resting their hands on their knees. Makoto, Haru, and Kanade stood next to Gou, barely wet. Haru's eyes flitted back and forth between Makoto and the pool, restless about just watching.

"Just one more thing before we end today's practice!" Gou said.

"Ugh, haven't we done enough today, Gou-senpai?" one of the first-years asked.

"Don't complain!" she said. "Now, I think it's time for Haruka-senpai to show us his swimming!" Haru's eyes snapped to Gou, shimmering slightly.

"Oohh, a demonstration from Haru-chan!" Nagisa said, his eyes bubbling with joy.

"This will be good for you to watch, Dai-kun," Rei noted with a smile.

"Okay, let's see it, Haru-chan!" Nagisa said.

Haru glanced back at Makoto, who gave him a reassuring smile. Haru's eyes sparkled as he glanced at the pool, and he quickly took off his shirt.

Makoto could see Gou out of the corner of his eye sparkle as she lifted a hand to rest on her cheek. Her face wore a whimsical expression as she blabbed on about Haru's "amazing triceps." Makoto felt himself cowering slightly away from her after that.

"I'll time you, Haruka-senpai," Gou said, holding a stopwatch.

"Yeah," Haru responded as he stood up on the block. He put on his goggles and adjusted his swim cap.

Makoto watched him as he bent down at the starting block, remembering how fast he was at the joint practice. He took a deep breath, feeling excitement rise in his chest.

"Ready!" Gou shouted.

Haru braced himself, holding onto the block.

"Go!"

Haru flung himself from the starting block, his body soaring into the air gracefully. He dove in the water elegantly, his head popping up to the surface as he started his stroke. He was racing down the lane at his lightning speed, causing gasps from the first-years. Dai dropped his jaw.

"Wow, Nanase is amazing!" one of the first-years yelled.

Haru took the turn at the far end of the pool, making his way back quickly down the lane. His arms tore through the water, making his body glide down the lane with precision.

"Haruka-senpai's swimming is as beautiful as ever!" Rei said. Nagisa nodded and bounced in excitement.

Haru pounded down the lane and slammed his hand on the wall, his head rising from the water as he gasped for a breath.

"Wow, Haruka-senpai!" Gou shouted. "That beat all of your records last year!"

Haru took off his cap and goggles and whipped his head back and forth, shaking off the excess water.

"Haru!"

"Haru-chan!"

"Haruka-senpai!"

Haru glanced up from the water and his heart jumped. Standing in front of him was Makoto, Nagisa, and Rei, all waiting for him at the end of the pool. Haru put on a small smile, remembering nationals. They were all waiting for him, then, just like this.

"You really are the best in the water, Haru-chan!" Makoto said. He was extending his hand down to him, the same big smile on his face.

Haru was about to lift his hand up to him, when Kanade walked behind Makoto, a huge smile on her face. Haru's smile faded, seeing that his perfect picture was now distorted. He lifted his hand and begrudgingly grabbed Makoto's hand.

"Lay off the –chan," he grumbled as Makoto pulled him out of the pool.

"That was awesome, Nanase-kun!" Kanade said.

Haru lowered his eyebrows at her and turned his head. Makoto's smile turned from excited to tense, seeing Haru's reaction. His brows knitted together, worry creasing his forehead.

"Ohh, I'd like to see Kana-chan and Haru-chan race!" Nagisa shouted. Gou and Rei looked at him with concerned expressions.

"Huh? Race?" Kanade repeated.

"Nagisa-kun, I'm not sure that'll be a fair race," Rei said.

"Do you even know what you're saying, Nagisa-kun?" Gou asked.

"I don't mind!" Kanade said. The others stared at her with wide eyes. "I'm sure I'll lose, but it'll still be fun. You up for it, Nanase-kun?"

Haru glanced at her and then Makoto. Makoto gave him his usual smile and a shrug. Haru sighed and walked over to the starting block. Kanade followed, getting on the block next to him.

"Well, if you're sure," Gou said to Kanade. Kanade nodded as she put on her swim cap. "All right! Here we go."

"Good luck, Haru! Kanade!" Makoto called. Haru ignored the comment and stood solemnly on the block. Kanade glanced over at Makoto and gave a cheeky smile along with her usual thumbs-up.

"Ready," Gou called. Haru and Kanade bent down at the block, their hands grasping the edges.

Makoto stared at them. Haru had his usual expression on his face, his furrowed brows resting over his goggles. They had a slight hint of annoyance, which worried Makoto.

Makoto then looked over at Kanade. Her usual sparkly charm changed into a serious expression. Makoto's heart jumped. She seemed so focused, determined… it was as if a whole new person had taken over. He loved Kanade's usual cheeriness, but the face she made when she was about to swim was something that shocked him.

 _What other expressions can you make?_

"Go!" Gou yelled.

Kanade and Haru dove off of their starting blocks, hitting the water and stroking through the water at full throttle. Haru started out in the lead.

"Yeah, I bet Nanase will win this one," one of the first-years said.

"Go, Haru-chan! Kana-chan!" Nagisa yelled.

Haru was halfway down the lane when he felt some excess water splashing next to him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a shadow next to him, and his heart jumped.

Kanade was right next to him.

"Ehh?! Shizumi-san is keeping up with Nanase!" a first-year yelled.

"H-How?!" the other first-year yelled.

Dai, Gou, Rei, and Nagisa stood on the side with dropped jaws, watching as the two made it to the far side to make the turn. Makoto's eyes widened as Kanade still managed to keep up with Haru even after the turn.

"Unbelievable," Dai whispered.

"Mako-chan, did you know she was _this_ fast?" Nagisa asked.

"She's at a completely different level!" Gou added, looking at Makoto.

Makoto stood speechless, staring at the two of them. He shook his head at his friends.

"I didn't know," Makoto said softly.

Haru felt something prick his heart when he could not shake off Kanade. He surged forward, pushing his shoulders further and harder. He pulled ahead of Kanade, water splashing all around as he violently tore through the water.

"E-Eh? What's wrong with Haruka-senpai? His swimming is… different," Rei noted.

Makoto lowered his brows and his lips turned into a worried frown. He watched as Haru was ripping through the water.

"Haru…" Makoto whispered.

Haru could see the starting block getting close. He turned his head and gasped for breath.

 _What is this?_ Haru thought. _Why am I fighting the water?_

His hand reached the wall and he slammed it hard, creating a huge splash. He jerked his head back and gasped for breath. He glanced over to the other lane and watched Kanade slam on the wall, she also lifting her head to gasp for breath. Haru tore off his goggles and swim cap and shook the water off of his hair.

"Ooh, wow!" Nagisa shouted. "They were neck-and-neck the whole way!"

"You're right, Nagisa-kun!" Rei said.

"Great job, you two!" Gou said. "You were a little over a second apart! That's amazing!"

Haru stared up at Gou, something inside him breaking. Something felt different about how he just swam. Was it because it was a race? Haru remembered the time he raced last year and stopped in the middle of the lane, feeling something wrong inside. Why did it feel that he was starting to feel the same way again?

Haru stared down at the water, watching as droplets fell from his hair into the water.

"Nice race, Nanase-kun."

Haru turned his head and saw Kanade leaning on the lane divider, flashing him an exhausted smile and a shaky thumbs-up. That's when Haru felt it.

He felt that way because of _her_.

"Haru?" Makoto called from above his head. Haru turned to look up at him, watching Makoto's worried face. "Are you okay?" he asked as he extended his hand.

Haru stared at him for a moment before grabbing Makoto's hand. "Yeah," Haru replied.

Kanade rested her arms on the edge of the pool and watched the two of them as they spoke quietly. Her breathing was sporadic, her raspy breaths preventing her from hearing their words. She saw a worried look on Makoto's face, and Haru's eyes looking away from him.

 _"But I realized that competitive swimming was best left to my best friend."_

Kanade jumped, remembering Makoto's words. She stared at the two of them one last time and lowered her eyes back down to the ground.

"You sure you're okay?" Makoto asked him again.

Haru nodded. "I'm fine."

"Good job, Haru-chan!" Nagisa said, jumping on him.

"Nagisa!" Haru whined.

"That was great, Haruka-senpai!" Rei said, joining his side and pulling Nagisa from him.

"Yeah," Haru said. "Thanks."

"Okay, okay! Good job today." Gou said. "You guys can get changed. I'm going to get my bag and then I'll be ready to go!"

Gou disappeared into the locker room, leaving the swim team to pack up their things. The first-years disappeared into the locker room, while the others stood around the pool. Makoto was talking to the other three when he noticed Kanade still hanging on the edge of the pool. He walked over to her lane and extended a hand to her.

"You were pretty amazing, Kanade!" Makoto said. Kanade smiled up at him and grabbed his hand.

"Thank you," she said quietly. She stole a glance at Haru. "Is he okay?" she asked. Makoto followed her eyes and glanced at Haru.

"Yeah, I think so," Makoto said, turning back to her. "You about ready to go home?"

Kanade nodded at him and headed towards the locker room. "Yeah, let me go get my things!"

* * *

Gou walked into the locker room and grabbed her bag from a bench. She turned to walk out the door when her foot kicked a bag on the ground. Gou tripped on it and stumbled forward, almost falling. She glanced down at the bag, and her eyes widened. She knelt down to the bag.

A portable oxygen tank with a mask connected to it had rolled out of the bag, along with a few pill bottles. Gou lifted the tank in her hands and stared at the labels.

 _What… what is this?_ She thought.

She read the label, and her eyes widened. On the label was a name.

SHIZUMI, KANADE

Kanade's name? On this oxygen tank? What is going on?

Several prescription bottles had rolled out as well, and Gou reached to grab them. All of them had Kanade's name on them, but Gou did not recognize the scientific names of the medicines. Gou furrowed her brows in concern.

 _Is she...?_

Suddenly, the door to the locker room opened and shut, and around the corner came Kanade. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Gou on the ground, holding the tank and the pills.

"Shizumi-san…" Gou whispered. "What… what is this?"

Kanade's eyes widened and she gripped her swim cap in her fist. She felt her chest swell in pain.

"I…" Kanade started. "Please… don't tell Makoto."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

* * *

..

..

"I…" Kanade started. "Please… don't tell Makoto."

Gou stared at Kanade with wide, concerning eyes, her hands still on the portable oxygen tank. She blinked a few times, trying to process Kanade's words.

"What? Don't tell Makoto-senpai?" Gou said, standing to her feet and putting down the oxygen tank. "Why? What's going on? Are… are you okay?" Gou asked.

"I can't say…" Kanade stuttered. "Please. Just don't say anything to him. Please."

Kanade bowed deeply to Gou, and Gou jumped at her extreme gesture. She frantically waved her hands in front of her body, trying to make Kanade rise.

"W-Wait! You don't have to do that!" Gou said. Kanade lifted her head up slightly. "Just… is it serious? Whatever it is?"

Kanade kept her gaze on the ground. "Sort of."

"Sort of? Shizumi-san, you should really tell Makoto-senpai," Gou said. "He would want to know."

"I can't," Kanade said. "Please, just promise me you won't tell him you saw this. Please," Kanade begged, her hanging.

"Okay, okay, I won't!" Gou said. "I promise."

Kanade lifted her head and look at Gou, a worried frown painting her face. But she nodded at Gou and then lowered her eyes.

"Thank you," Kanade said. She knelt down and grabbed her tracksuit from her bag and quickly put it on. She then took the tank from Gou's hands and put it in her bag. "See you tomorrow," Kanade mumbled as she tried to leave the locker room.

"W-Wait, Shizumi-san!" Gou called. Kanade froze, her hand on the door. "You should really talk to Makoto-senpai about this. Don't hide it from him."

Kanade paused, her hand still on the door. Without a word to Gou, she escaped the locker room in a scramble, almost dropping her heavy bag in the process. The noise startled Makoto, who was standing outside the locker rooms.

"K-Kanade? Man, you scared me!" Makoto said, putting a hand to his chest. He smiled at her. "You ready?" he asked.

Kanade looked back at the locker room and then turned to face him. "Yep!"

* * *

"Are you ready to face your doom, Makoto?"

"Don't underestimate me, Kanade. I'm quite confident in my gun-handling skills."

Kanade pressed the buttons on the controller, moving her character on the screen. Makoto did the same, trying to maneuver a surprise attack. He moved his character and then peeked around a corner. He got his gun ready and then BAM! Makoto jumped and squeaked when he realized his character was dead, and he had lost.

"Eh?!" Makoto whined.

"Yes!" Kanade shouted happily.

"Aw, I can't believe I lost! I usually can win when I'm playing Haru," Makoto said.

Kanade chuckled. "Well, I guess you just haven't played against me enough, then!"

"Yeah, yeah, you win," Makoto chuckled. He put down the controller and sprawled out on the floor of his bedroom. Kanade stared down at him from his bed.

"Aw, don't pout!" Kanade teased.

"I'm not pouting!" Makoto retorted, his arms folding across his chest.

Kanade giggled at him and then stood up from his bed. She grabbed the controller and walked over to the TV stand to put the controller away. After she set the controller down, she noticed a thick binder leaning against one of the shelves. She cocked her head to read the side. It read "memories."

"Ohh! Makoto, is this a scrapbook?" Kanade asked, pointing to it. Makoto leaned up from the floor and looked at her. He smiled fondly and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah, it is," Makoto answered.

"Can I look?" Kanade asked, her hand grabbing the binder.

"Sure," Makoto said.

Kanade grabbed the binder and opened it up to the first page. She cooed and smiled at the first page. There were several pictures of Makoto as a child.

"Aww, Makoto! You look so cute!" Kanade cooed.

"Eheh, I wasn't _that_ cute," Makoto said, scooting next to her. He peered over her shoulder as she flipped the pages.

"Oh! Is that Nanase-kun?" Kanade asked. She pointed to a small child with black hair standing next to Makoto in some of the pictures. He avoided the camera, his head turned to the side. Makoto smiled and chuckled.

"Yeah, that's him!" Makoto said. "He hasn't changed."

Kanade flipped through more pictures, seeing more and more of Haru and Makoto together. She flipped the page and then her heart sunk. There was a teary-eyed Makoto on the page, his hand holding onto a slightly concerned Haru. They appeared to be at the beach.

"Makoto, why are you crying here?" she asked. Makoto looked at the picture and then chuckled nervously, raising a hand to scratch his cheek.

"Ahh, w-well, I think I was having a rough day," Makoto said.

"At the beach?" Kanade asked.

"Ah, m-mhm," Makoto stuttered. "It was a long time ago."

"Oh," Kanade replied. She turned the pages, watching Makoto grow up alongside Haru. "Wow, you two have known each other for a while. You guys are pretty close!"

"Yep!" Makoto said. "It was really easy to hang out since he lived so close."

"Oh, right," Kanade said. She looked out the window of Makoto's bedroom. "Does Nanase-kun live alone?" she asked.

"Oh, yeah, he does," Makoto answered. "His parents are working in another city. Haru chose to stay here."

Kanade pondered his words. She stared back down at the pictures, seeing how happy Makoto looked next to Haru. She remembered how tense things were at the pool earlier that day, and how Haru looked annoyed, or even angry. She took a deep breath and looked at Makoto.

"Hey, why don't you have Nanase-kun stay here with you over break?" Kanade asked.

"Huh?" Makoto asked. "Have him stay here?"

"Yeah!" Kanade said. "He must get pretty lonely. And I'm sure you two would like to spend more time with each other."

Makoto glanced down at the pictures in the binder, eyeing a particular picture of him and Haru in the pool. Haru was swimming next to Makoto, them both holding hands. Makoto smiled lightly.

"Okay, I'll ask him tomorrow!"

* * *

"Don't worry, Haru, Rin will be here soon."

Makoto smiled fondly at Haru, who was fidgeting impatiently in the terminal of the airport. Haru was looking around, furiously waiting for the redhead to walk through those doors.

"His plane hasn't landed yet," Makoto added. "But it should soon."

Haru looked up at Makoto and nodded at him.

Gou and Kanade were standing a little ways away from them, reading the flight information on the wall near the terminal.

"Ah, Onii-chan's plane should land any minute now!" Gou said.

"I bet you're excited to see him!" Kanade said. Gou nodded happily.

"I'm not the only one," Gou said, pointing at Haru.

Kanade followed her finger and saw Haru shifting on his feet uncomfortably. Makoto was standing next to him with a small smile on his face. The smile seemed slightly strained. Kanade turned her eyes back to the screen in front of her, her smile fading.

"Hm? What's wrong, Shizumi-san?" Gou asked. Kanade glanced at Makoto and then back at her.

"How close are your brother and Nanase-kun?" Kanade asked.

"Ohh, they're pretty good friends," Gou responded. She smiled brightly. "Onii-chan brought Haruka-senpai with him to Australia last year."

"Oh, wow," Kanade said. She glanced back at the two of them, seeing Makoto's stressed smile on his face. "Why does Makoto look so tense?" Kanade asked.

"Tense?" Gou asked. She followed Kanade's eyes and looked at Makoto. "He seems fine to me."

Kanade raised a brow and kept staring at Makoto. She watched how he rubbed the back of his neck and chatted lightly with Haru.

"Speaking of Makoto-senpai, have you talked to him yet?" Gou asked suddenly. Kanade jumped and looked at her.

"Huh?" Kanade asked.

"About… what happened in the locker room?" Gou said.

Kanade lowered her eyes to gaze at the ground. It had been four days since that incident in the locker room, and this is the first time Gou has mentioned it since then. She fiddled with her fingers nervously.

"No," Kanade responded.

"Shizumi-san…" Gou whispered.

"He doesn't need to know anything," Kanade said quietly. "It's not that big of a deal."

"But… you said it was serious," Gou said.

"It's… it's not so bad, Matsuoka-san," Kanade replied.

"If it's not so bad, then why can't you tell me? Or Makoto-senpai?" Gou asked, her hands resting on her hips.

"W-Well…" Kanade stuttered.

"Hey! Kanade! Gou-chan! Rin's plane landed!"

The two girls turned their heads to glance at Makoto, who was happily waving at them from the terminal. Kanade put on a small smile for him before turning back to Gou.

"Let's go greet your brother," Kanade said with a smile. She abruptly turned away from Gou and headed towards Makoto and Haru, with Gou quietly following.

Haru stared at the door, waiting for the redhead to come out. His hands curled into fists as he widened his eyes in anticipation. Makoto watched his friend with a small smile on his face, feeling a twang of jealously pierce his heart.

Makoto was reminded of the race he had against Haru.

 _"Race me for real,"_ was what Makoto had told him. At the time, he was unsure why he asked Haru that. Was it that he wanted to be able to swim a proper race with Haru? Was he just competitive, or was he afraid Haru would go easy on him?

But, Makoto realized why he had asked Haru. He wanted to bring out the best in Haru, to motivate Haru, to push him.

Just like Rin always had.

Makoto shook his head as if trying to shake off the excess water, trying to fling those thoughts far away from him. He glanced back down at Haru and saw his excited blue eyes shimmering brightly. Makoto chuckled and followed his eyes towards the terminal doors, where several people were coming out.

Then, a certain redhead walked out of the doors, wearing a beanie on his head and a plaid shirt with a black jacket. Gou's face lit up and she waved her arms.

"Onii-chan!" Gou yelled.

Rin's head turned towards the group and a big smile appeared on his face. Haru felt a small smile pull at his lips.

"Ah, Gou! Haru! Makoto!" Rin cried, and ran over to them. He gave Gou a hug first and then immediately reached for Haru and wrapped his arms around his neck.

"Welcome home, Rin," Haru said. Rin felt his chest jump and his eyes squeezed together as he held back tears.

"Thank you," he said softly.

"You're not going to cry, are you?" Haru asked plainly.

"No!" Rin shouted, getting off of Haru and wiping his eyes.

"Welcome home, Rin!" Makoto said. Rin lifted his head to look at him and he smiled.

"Makoto!" Rin came in for a hug. While hugging him, a short girl caught Rin's eye. She was standing behind Makoto, her hands clasped behind her back and her eyes glued to her shoes. Rin got off of Makoto and held onto his broad shoulders. "And who is this?" Rin asked, a smirk on his face and his brow quirked.

Kanade jumped at his question, her head raising to look at them. Makoto turned around to look at her, and a light blush sprung to his cheeks. He rubbed the back of his neck shyly before turning his head back to Rin.

"Rin, this is my friend Kanade Shizumi from university. Kanade, this is Rin Matsuoka," Makoto introduced.

Rin kept his smile, but his brow rose. _Kanade? On a first-name basis, eh?_ Rin stole a quick glance at Haru, who was scowling.

"Nice to meet you, Matsuoka-kun," Kanade said, bowing. Rin jumped and then bowed slightly.

"Same here, Shizumi," Rin said.

"I've heard so much about you!" Kanade said cheerfully. Rin straightened and stared at her, seeing a sparkle in her blue eyes. He felt a slight heat in his cheeks. "Training in Australia? That is so amazing!"

Rin flushed slightly at her and he raised a hand to adjust his hat on his head. "It was nothing, really," Rin said, a smiling forcing its way onto his face.

"All right, we can ask Rin a lot of questions over dinner. Should we get going?" Makoto asked, interrupting Kanade's eager questions. Rin glanced at Makoto and nodded happily.

"Yep! Let's go!" Rin said. He watched Makoto, Kanade, and Gou take the lead. He waited back for Haru and slung an arm over his shoulder. "So, is that her?" Rin asked him quietly. "I can tell by the way you're scowling."

Haru glanced at him, his brows lowered over his eyes. He looked back ahead, glaring at Kanade. He hummed a simple "yes" in reply.

"She seems nice," Rin said. "I didn't know Makoto was into short girls."

"Rin!" Haru scolded, giving him a curt glare. Rin smiled and laughed.

"I'm kidding, kidding!" Rin said. He looked back up at Kanade and sized her up. "She's not that bulky, either. Are you sure about the drug rumor?"

"That's what people are saying," Haru said. "She didn't go to nationals last year, but then suddenly shows up at university and beats the girl who won first place."

"Hah?" Rin questioned, his face turning into a puzzled expression. "What do you mean she beat the girl who won first place?"

Haru shrugged. "In her third year, she didn't make it to nationals. But when she showed up at university, she was four seconds faster than the first place winner in her category."

"How is that possible?" Rin asked, taking his arm off of Haru's shoulder. Haru gave him an accusing look. "You really think she's been juicing?"

"It's possible. How else do you explain how she won?"

Rin put his hands behind his head as they walked, his eyes flitting back and forth from Kanade to Makoto. Makoto was watching Gou and Kanade talk, his eyes glued to Kanade.

"Who knows? Maybe she just got good," Rin said, smiling at the sight in front of him.

"There's something off about her, though," Haru said. "I can feel it."

"Oh? Is that so?"

"Yes."

Rin stared at his face. Haru's brows were lowered into an angry "v" above his eyes. His eyes were glaring harshly at Kanade.

Rin smirked.

"Well, I'll see what I can do to help out."

* * *

"Wow, Rin-chan! You and Haru-chan were neck-and-neck!" Nagisa said.

"You guys tied. Again!" Gou announced.

"Rin-san, your swimming has greatly improved, just like Haruka-senpai's!" Rei complimented.

Everyone was at the Iwatobi High swimming pool. Rin had decided to join to have a proper race with Haru, and Gou thought it would be a good chance for the first-years to have more tips from professionally trained swimmers.

"Nice work, Matsuoka, Nanase!" Kanade shouted. She lifted her hand to give Rin a high-five. Rin smiled brightly and returned the gesture, slapping his open palm against hers. Haru's brow twitched and he stared reproachfully at Rin. Rin noticed his glare and shrugged at him, wearing a toothy grin on his face.

"Wow, Haruka-senpai's times are faster today!" Gou said, looking down at her clipboard.

Makoto had bent down to help Haru out of the pool, but he whipped his head up to look at Gou.

"It's probably because Rin-chan is here!" Nagisa said cheerfully.

"You think?" Gou said.

Makoto pulled Haru up, feeling some jealousy in his heart, but he tried to swallow his emotions and forced a smile on his face.

"Good race, Haru," Makoto said.

"Yeah," Haru said, a whimsical look in his eye. Makoto put on a smile and followed Haru over to where Rin and Kanade were talking.

"So, do you always want to race Nanase-kun?" Kanade asked Rin.

"Ah, maybe," Rin said with a cheeky smile.

"Not maybe," Gou corrected. "Always."

"Rin is… a good motivator for Haru," Makoto said, raising a hand to rub the back of his neck. Kanade glanced up at Makoto and quirked her brows at his weird expression.

"Ohh, is that so?" Rin responded, throwing an arm around Haru's shoulders.

"Rin!" Haru whined.

"I never knew that, Haru!" Rin laughed.

"Cut it out."

Rin and Gou laughed at them, but Makoto stayed silent. A small smile plastered on his face as his eyes wandered to stare at the pool in silence. Kanade kept her eyes on Makoto's face, wondering what was going through his mind. She glanced back at Haru and Rin and frowned slightly.

Once practice was over, everyone packed up their things to leave. Once they got on the train, everyone went their separate ways, Rin and Gou getting off earlier than everyone else. After a few more stops, Makoto, Kanade, and Haru got off the train and headed home.

There was silence hanging in the air between the three. Kanade walked a little behind Makoto and Haru, staring at the two of them. She pursed her lips.

 _Makoto usually talks on the way home, but he's being so quiet now. His demeanor changed when Rin got here,_ Kanade thought.

She hung her head and silently followed them back to the Tachibana household, where luckily the twins filled the awkward silence and stopped the tension from overflowing.

After dinner, Haru disappeared into the bathroom for a soak in the tub, leaving Kanade and Makoto alone in Makoto's bedroom. Kanade helped Makoto put out the futon for Haru, watching his face carefully. He was still silent, and his eyes were downcast and avoiding eye contact.

"Makoto," Kanade called. Makoto snapped his head up from the ground as if her voice startled him.

"Hm?" he hummed.

Kanade set down the pillow on the futon and pushed herself up onto her feet.

"What's wrong?" Kanade asked.

"Huh?"

Kanade's eyes looked at the ground near Makoto's feet. "You've been acting strange since Matsuoka-kun got here."

Makoto's eyes widened slightly and he peered at the ground, biting his lip. He raised a hand to rub the back of his neck.

"W-Well..." He pondered for a moment. He was able to tell Nagisa his insecurities. Kanade is trustworthy, too... right? "Rin has always been a great motivator for Haru."

Kanade looked up at him, trying to get him to look into her eyes. "You mentioned that at practice earlier," she stated.

"Mm," Makoto hummed. "I... I've never been able to motivate Haru like Rin does." Makoto moved to sit down on his bed. He rested his arms on his knees and hung his head, a bitter smile painting his face. "I guess you could say... I'm jealous?" Makoto chuckled softly. He raised a hand to rake through his brown hair, embarrassed.

Kanade blinked at him a few times and moved her lips into a curious pout. She moved towards him and sat down next to him, leaning back on her hands to stare at the ceiling.

"You always sell yourself short, Makoto," Kanade said.

Makoto sat up from his knees and paused for a moment, his eyes staring at the wall in front of him. He pondered Kanade's words, and then he turned his head back to look at her.

"What do you mean?" Makoto asked. Kanade paused, her lips pursing.

"You don't see your own value," Kanade said. She turned her head to look Makoto in the eye. "You may not see it, but you're a good motivator for Nanase, too."

"M-Me?" Makoto stuttered.

"Of course!" Kanade said. "I mean, it was _you_ who started your swim club in high school, right?"

Makoto paused and stared down in his lap. "Y-Yeah," he answered.

"Why did you want to start the club?" Kanade asked.

"I... I wanted to swim with my friends."

"Wrong," Kanade said bluntly. Makoto jumped and squeaked, snapping his head up to stare at her teasing smile. He gave her a confused look in response, forcing a small giggle out of her. "You started that club because you wanted Nanase to be able to swim again, right?"

Makoto's eyes widened, and he glanced down in his lap. Was that really his reasoning for starting the club? He did see that Haru was bored in school before they started up the club, his mind always drifting during class. But... was he really the catalyst for Haru's path towards professional swimming?

"See? You motivated Nanase-kun before Matsuoka-kun did," Kanade said with a gentle smile.

Makoto lifted his eyes to meet hers, the stunning blue shining back and piercing his soul. He felt a smile pull at his lips, and he raised a hand to rub the back of his neck.

"I... I guess I did," Makoto chuckled.

Kanade lightly punched his shoulder and grinned. "Told you!" she laughed.

Makoto lightly rubbed his shoulder and stared at Kanade, his smile widening. Her laugh was so pure and he felt his heart race at the beautiful sound. He felt a blush rise to his cheeks.

 _I wonder if I could be a motivator for Kanade, too..._

* * *

"Haru hasn't changed a bit, has he?" Rin asked Gou as they walked home. He put his hands behind his head and stared at the sky. "Still quiet and obsessed with swimming, as always."

Gou chuckled at him. "Of course he's the same!" she chirped. "He seems to be the only one, though," Gou added, her hands locked behind her back. Rin tilted his head down to her.

"What do you mean?" Rin asked.

"Ah, well, Nagisa-kun and Rei-kun are troubled, I think," Gou started. "They've both asked me about what I'm doing after graduation, and I think they're secretly both worried each other. But they won't talk to each other!" Gou pouted.

Rin chuckled softly. "They'll figure it out," Rin said. "So, you said Haru is the really the only one who's the same. What about Makoto?"

"Ah, well, he seems to…" Gou paused, putting a finger to her chin. "He seems to have matured."

Rin raised a brow. "Matured?"

"Yeah!" Gou said. "He doesn't seem to be so dependent on Haruka-senpai anymore."

Rin smirked. "Would a certain _girl_ be the reason he's matured?"

Gou jumped and stared at him. "Y-You mean Shizumi-san?" she asked.

"Of course! Just look at the way he stares at her!" Rin said. "He's got it bad."

"Ah," Gou responded quietly. She looked at the ground and played with her fingers. Her face contorted into a worried expression as she thought about that day in the locker room.

"What's with that face?" Rin asked, making Gou jump.

"Hm?" Gou asked. "My face?"

"Yeah. You look worried."

"Oh," Gou said. She hesitated, her eyes studying the sidewalk as they took more steps. "It's about Shizumi. I think… well… I think there's something wrong."

Rin's arms dropped to his sides and he stopped walking, gently grabbing Gou's arm, making her stop.

"What do you mean?" Rin asked, his face serious.

"I mean…" Gou fumbled.

She said she would not tell Makoto, but Kanade never said anything about telling others. Gou sighed internally. _I'm sorry, Shizumi…_

"I think Shizumi-san is really ill," Gou said. Rin's eyes widened.

"Ill?" Rin repeated, letting go of Gou's arm. Gou nodded.

"I found some medicine in her bag one day and… and an oxygen tank," Gou said. Rin's face dropped, his eyes flitting to the ground. "Please, you can't tell anyone. Not even Haruka-senpai, and _especially_ not Makoto-senpai!"

"What?! Why the hell not?" Rin asked, his voice almost shouting. "They need to know!"

"I _know_!" Gou shouted, startling Rin. "But they can't know. Please. Promise you won't say anything!"

"Okay, okay!" Rin said, putting up his hands in defense. "I promise."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

* * *

"Haru, we're going to be late!"

"Breakfast is important."

"So is meeting everyone on time! Come on, Haru, Coach Sasabe's boat leaves soon and you're not even dressed or packed!"

Makoto and Haru were standing in the kitchen, bags in Makoto's hand, and Haru clad in his jammers after a morning soak in the tub. Haru had just put mackerel on the stove.

"You can have mackerel _there_!" Makoto whined.

Haru remained silent and went to grab an apron. Before his hand could grasp it, a small, white hand snatched it away. He looked up and saw Kanade standing in front of him, holding the apron with a cheeky smirk on her face.

"I'll make the mackerel for you, Nanase-kun," Kanade offered. "You can go get dressed and Makoto can help you pack." Kanade donned the apron and brushed past a flustered Haru towards the stove. Makoto smiled in relief and lightly brushed his fingers along Kanade's shoulder.

"Ah, thank you, Kanade!" Makoto said. "Let's hurry up, Haru!" Makoto dragged Haru up the stairs. "You know, when you said you would go back home to get ready, I didn't think you meant taking a bath, too."

Haru only hummed, letting himself be dragged up the stairs. He turned his head and saw Kanade getting further and further away as they entered his bedroom. He turned back to Makoto.

"Okay, so you'll need this…" Makoto started mumbling to himself as he opened some of Haru's drawers. Haru hesitated, watching Makoto's hunched back.

"Makoto," Haru called.

"Hm?" Makoto hummed as he set down a few shirts.

Haru paused again, thoughts buzzing around in his head. This was his chance to talk to Makoto about Kanade, bring up her issues, and confront her problems.

"…" Haru opened his mouth to speak.

"Haru?" Makoto questioned, looking back at him.

Haru locked eyes with Makoto and started giving him a _look_. His blue eyes were piercingly sharp, and his lips pulled into a frustrated pout.

 _Kanade is hiding something from you, Makoto,_ Haru thought. _Can't you see that? She's just going to hurt you!_

Makoto tilted his head, his brows knitting together in a confused expression.

"What is it, Haru?" Makoto asked.

Haru felt his chest jolt. Why could Makoto not understand what he was trying to convey to him?

Haru's eyes widened.

Could Makoto not read his mind anymore?

* * *

Kanade flipped the mackerel in the pan, humming quietly. She lifted a hand to touch her shoulder, remembering Makoto's gentle touch from earlier. She shivered at the feeling and shook her head, trying to concentrate on Haru's breakfast.

Suddenly, a pounding knock came from the door, making Kanade jump.

"Oi, Haru!"

 _That voice sounds familiar…_ Kanade thought.

The door slid open, and a flustered redhead came waltzing in through the door, a ball cap on his head and a plaid shirt tied around his waist.

"Hey! Haru! Where—" Rin stopped talking when he saw Kanade standing in front of him, wearing Haru's apron and cooking mackerel.

"Ah, good morning, Matsuoka-kun!" Kanade greeted, holding up a spatula.

"Eh? Shizumi? What're you doing here… making mackerel?" Rin asked, walking into the kitchen.

"Ah, well, Nanase-kun didn't pack or anything yet, so Makoto is helping him with that. I volunteered to cook his food this morning."

Rin clicked his tongue. "That Haru…"

Rin leaned against the counter and eyed Kanade, Gou's words still ringing in his ears.

 _"I think there's something wrong."_

 _"I think Shizumi is really ill."_

Rin raised a brow and studied Kanade. She was flipping the fish in the pan and smiling fondly. He stared at her arms but did not see any scars or anything. He tilted his head to look at her face. Her white face had slight color on her cheeks, and her piercing blue eyes were bright and lively. There were no signs of distress or fatigue. Her eyes then moved up and met his.

"What are you doing, Matsuoka-kun?" Kanade asked, her brow cocked.

Rin straightened and put his hands in his pockets. "Nothing."

Rin glanced down at Kanade, watching her as she lifted up the spatula to flip the mackerel. He opened his mouth to speak just at the wrong moment.

"So, are you into Makoto?"

Kanade jumped, making the pan jolt and the mackerel almost slide off, but she managed to use the spatula to catch it. Rin took his hands out of his pockets and reached out to try to help her.

"Oi, you okay?" Rin asked.

Kanade lifted her face up to Rin, revealing her flushed face. Even the tips of her ears were red. Rin smirked at her and folded his arms across his chest.

"So you _do_ like him," Rin said. Kanade's flustered face turned redder as she faced the stove again, avoiding Rin's eyes. Rin laughed lightly. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." He punched Kanade's shoulder gently. "You chose well, Shizumi! Makoto's a catch!"

"Eh?! It-it's… we…!" Kanade stammered. She pouted and then looked away, hiding her face from Rin's eyes. "Th-Thanks…" she whispered.

"You going to tell him?" Rin asked.

"Tell him…" Kanade echoed, her eyes staring forward in a daze. Rin deadpanned.

"How you feel? You know, confess to him?" Rin asked.

He expected Kanade to blush and giggle about the idea, and give him excuses as to why she should just keep quiet for now. Instead, Kanade remained quiet, her lips pulled into a tiny frown. Her eyes stared ahead, looking vacant and distant. Rin's lips parted slightly as he gazed at her detached expression.

"I can't," Kanade said simply. She moved her head down to stare at the fish in the pan, her eyes incredibly sad. Rin paused, his brows coming together in slight worry.

"Sh-Shizumi?" Rin whispered.

"Oh, good morning, Rin!"

Rin turned towards the stairs and saw Makoto and Haru staring back at him. Haru's face looked annoyed as usual, while Makoto's looked pleasant. A little worn, but pleasant nonetheless.

"Ah, I just finished your mackerel, Nanase-kun!" Kanade said, her dulled eyes suddenly brightening from her somber state earlier. Rin's brows lowered, confused by her sudden change in mood.

"Thanks, Kanade," Makoto said.

"It's about time you guys got ready," Rin said, his eyes landing on Kanade.

Kanade put Haru's mackerel in a bento box and wrapped it up carefully. She walked over to Haru and gave him the bento with a smile.

"Here you go! You can eat it on the way!" Kanade said. "You guys ready?" She asked, and then she turned around and headed towards the door.

"Yep! Let me just get my things and then I'll be ready!" Makoto announced as he leaned down to pick up his bag.

Kanade raised her fist and gently punched Rin's shoulder on her way out, giving him a sad smile. She grabbed her backpack by the door and walked out the door. Rin watched her back as she left.

"All right!" Makoto announced. "Let's go!" Makoto left the house, quickly following after Kanade.

Rin turned around after they left to face Haru, who was frowning at his freshly made bento box. Rin smirked and folded his arms across his chest.

"I see you've already got Shizumi taking care of you, just like Makoto does!" Rin teased.

"Shut up."

* * *

"Oh, good morning, guys!" Gou greeted with a wave.

"Ah, Gou-chan, good morning!" Makoto greeted.

They were all on the pier next to Goro's boat. Goro was busy getting his supplies ready.

"Well, come on aboard! We've got to get moving!" Goro shouted.

"Yay!" Nagisa shouted, hopping on board the boat.

"Nagisa-kun! Don't run!" Rei shouted after him.

"Geez, where's Amakata-sensei?" Gou asked. Goro jumped and dropped a few boxes, some of which landed on his feet.

"She'll be here soon, Gou-chan!" Nagisa said from the bow of the boat.

"It's Kou!"

"Nagisa-kun, don't do this again! You're going to fall off!" Rei shouted.

Kanade giggled as she and Makoto boarded the boat. Kanade put her things down on the boat and turned to face Makoto. Her smile faded when she saw his face. He was sitting off to the side, staring blankly out at the ocean, with his hands resting limply on his knees. His green eyes looked unfocused and vacant. Kanade quirked her brow and walked towards him and sat down next to him.

"You okay?" she asked.

Makoto snapped his head to her as if he just realized that she was sitting next to him. He put on a strained smile, his limp hands turning into fists.

"Mmn," he hummed.

"You don't look fine," Kanade said, raising a brow at him.

"I'm fine, really," Makoto said. "Sorry, I don't mean to make you—"

"Don't apologize!" Kanade said, pointing her finger in his face. Makoto stared at her finger, blinking a few times to focus on it. He smiled a real genuine smile and chuckled lightly.

"Okay, okay," Makoto said.

Kanade smiled at him after seeing his cheerful face. She hugged her knees and nudged her shoulder against his arm playfully.

Haru watched Kanade and Makoto from the other side of the boat. His brows lowered and he pouted, turning his head to stare out at the waves.

"You're moping," Rin said suddenly.

Haru's face hardened. "No, I'm not."

"Sure, sure," Rin said with a smirk.

* * *

"Here we are, guys!" Gou said while lifting her hands up at the rooms. The guys all smiled, thankful they did not have to sleep in tents.

"Wow!" Nagisa shouted happily as he poked his head in one of the rooms. "The rooms are so nice!"

"How on earth were you able to acquire these, Gou-san?" Rei asked.

"We were able to pull some strings," Miho said. "Shizumi-chan, you'll room with us."

"Sounds good!" Kanade said.

"Okay, guys, listen up!" Gou said, clapping her hands together. "Since we got here a day early, I decided that we should have a beach day!"

"A beach day?!" Nagisa chirped.

"R-Really, Gou-san?" Rei asked, adjusting his glasses.

"Yep! You guys have been working so hard, you deserve it!" Gou said. "But, tomorrow we'll definitely start training! Got it?"

"Yes, yes! C'mon, Rei-chan! We've got to go to the beach!" Nagisa said, grabbing his wrist.

"Uwahh, w-wait a minute, Nagisa-kun!" Rei called as he was dragged out of the room.

"Ready to race, Haru?" Rin jeered, his competitive smirk resting on his face. Haru nodded at him.

"I just need to grab a towel," Haru said, turning into his room.

"Tch, hurry up!" Rin said, and he took off down the hallway to try to catch Rei and Nagisa.

"S-Seriously?!" Gou yelled at him as he hurried down the hallway. "I guess it can't be helped. I'll meet you down there, Shizumi-chan!" Gou said, waving at her.

"Okay, be there soon!" Kanade said, walking into her room.

Haru walked into his room and knelt down to his bag to grab his towel. After he grabbed it, he headed out the hallway and towards the lobby of the lodges, but he stopped in his tracks when he saw Makoto waiting at the door.

Makoto was staring out at the beach, his eyes locked on the waves in a distant trance. His hand was locked in a death-grip on his towel, his knuckles turning white. An unsettling feeling swirled in Haru's stomach, and flashes of Makoto's forced smile at their training camp resurfaced into his mind.

Haru gingerly took a step forward. This was his chance to talk to him. He opened his mouth to speak.

"Ma—"

"Makoto?"

Haru stopped in his tracks when he Kanade come into view and approach him from the side. Haru felt his eye twitch. How did she get here so fast?

"You okay?" She asked him, and she put a hand on his shoulder. Makoto jumped and yelped, whipping his head around to face her.

"E-Eh?! O-Oh, Kanade!" Makoto said. A weird smile crept on his face, making Kanade cringe.

"Uh… you okay?" Kanade asked again.

"Hm? Oh! Yeah. Ready?" Makoto asked, putting his hand on the door to leave.

"S-Sure," Kanade said slowly, following him out.

Haru lowered his brows, frustrated.

* * *

"Kana-chan Throw it here!"

"Got it! Here, catch this!"

Kanade flung a frisbee at Nagisa. He rushed across the sand and jumped, snagging it out of the air before landing back on his feet near the water. Kanade raised her fists in the air and cheered.

"Oooh! Nice one, Hazuki-kun!" Kanade shouted.

"You be careful, Nagisa-kun!" Rei scolded. He was sitting in the sand next to Dai, who was avoiding the other two first-years.

Rin stood next to Haru, both watching the frisbee being tossed back and forth, with Rin laughing whenever Nagisa fell from failing to catch it. Haru's head was whipping around, his eyes landing on Gou and Amakata-sensei under the umbrella, and then moving to the two first-years who were swimming in the ocean. Haru frowned hard. Makoto had been missing most of the afternoon, and Haru had not noticed until now. Rin had bugged him about racing, so he was finally in a break, watching Nagisa and Kanade throw that stupid frisbee.

Haru turned his head and sighed, grabbing Rin's attention.

"I'm going to find Makoto," Haru announced, and he turned on his heels and walked away.

"Gonna talk to him finally?" Rin asked him.

"Yeah," Haru said over his shoulder.

Haru walked back towards the lodges, keeping his eyes peeled for his aloof friend. He had figured that Makoto would have snuck back inside. After walking along the outside of the lodges, he was about to go inside. But, he heard distant laughing from the beach and he turned his head. A figure standing on the beach caught his eye, and he squinted to see.

There Makoto was, clad in his swim trunks, walking towards the ocean. Had he been working up enough courage to go back towards the beach all this time? Where had he been? Haru watched as Makoto stopped at the water's edge, his legs frozen in place. Haru swallowed hard, and headed towards him, cutting through the small patch of grass and trees.

Just as Haru's foot was about to touch the sand, he heard Nagisa's voice pierce the air. Haru turned his head and saw that Nagisa had thrown the frisbee far, way over Kanade's head. She was running after it, her head arched up to keep an eye on it. She was running straight for Makoto.

"Oi, look out!" Haru yelled.

Kanade turned her head back forward, confused by the sudden voice, and she gasped. Just in that moment, Makoto also turned his head and his eyes widened.

"Uwahh!" both Kanade and Makoto shouted.

Haru winced.

Kanade collided into Makoto, and they both fell to the ground with a harsh thud, with Kanade landing on top of him. She groaned, her head feeling a little dizzy.

 _Oh, whoops, I hope I didn't hurt him,_ Kanade thought. She leaned up, opened her eyes and looked down. Her eyes widened when she saw wide, green eyes staring back at her. Their noses were touching, and their lips were parted slightly.

Kanade moved her hand slightly and she felt bare skin underneath her fingertips. She leaned up a little and looked down at her hands. They were resting on Makoto's chest, right above his taut pectorals. She had seen him shirtless hundreds of times before, but now, in this moment, it felt different. She could actually take the time to admire his body.

His chest and defined abs, along with his wide shoulders… the way his back muscles rippled when he stretched, and the way his arms flexed when he pulled himself out of the pool… his brown, messy hair, and how it sometimes fell over his emerald, green eyes…

 _Oh._

Kanade moved her hand on Makoto's chest a little more, and she felt the rapid thudding of his heart.

 _His heart is beating really fast…_

Kanade looked back at Makoto's face. His eyes were slightly squinted, and his lips were still parted. A slight blush had formed on his cheeks and across his nose. Kanade felt her face heat up as she stared at his lips.

 _I'll I would have to do is lower my lips and…_

Then, Kanade remembered his black hair, the annoying beep, the pale hand holding hers and then letting go, the lack of right words, the not enough words said…

the…

 _"I can't do this anymore."_

Kanade scrambled to get off of Makoto, stumbling backwards a few steps before composing herself in a stiff stance.

"A-Ah! S-Sorry! Are you okay?" Kanade said, turning her head towards the sea.

Makoto leaned up from the sand, his face red from his neck all the way to his ears.

"Y-Yeah," Makoto responded, scratching his cheek.

"G-Great!" Kanade said, finally looking back at him. She walked over to the frisbee that had been discarded and picked it up. "Y-You wanna join us?" Kanade asked from over her shoulder.

"O-Oh," Makoto said, pushing himself to his feet. "W-Well, yeah maybe in a minute!"

"C-Cool."

They stood awkwardly in silence for a moment until a cheery voice called out to them.

"Kana-chan!" Nagisa called. They both whirled around and saw Nagisa walking over to them. "Did you get it?" Nagisa asked.

"Oh! Yeah!" Kanade said, lifting the frisbee up in the air.

"C'mon! The others are waiting!" Nagisa said.

"O-Okay! C'mon, Makoto!" Kanade said, running off.

Makoto hesitated for a moment, but then ran off after her. "Ah, coming!"

Haru watched as they headed back towards the others, his fists clenched.

* * *

"We should get some snacks!" Nagisa said as he walked down the isle.

"Oooh, good idea, Nagisa-senpai!" one of the first-years said, following Nagisa down the isle.

Rei sighed and shook his head. He turned to Gou who had a piece of paper in her hands.

"Remind me why we're here again, Gou-san?" Rei asked.

"We're going to have a barbecue tonight!" Gou announced. "Need some more ingredients."

Everyone split up around the small store, Nagisa's arms piling up with snacks and Rei scolding him mercilessly.

Haru rolled his eyes and headed down one of the isles. He stopped when he saw Makoto at the end of the isle, _by himself_. He walked down the isle to him.

"Makoto," Haru called. Makoto had been studying the shelf in front of him, and he turned to see Haru.

"Oh, Haru! Getting anything?" Makoto asked.

"Pineapple. Probably," Haru said.

"Ah, I kind of figured as much."

Haru hesitated. "I haven't seen you much today."

"Oh," Makoto said. Haru's brow quirked.

 _Oh? Is that all you have to say?_ Haru thought. Makoto's smile faltered, seeing Haru's accusing stare. He seemed almost tired, making Haru's brows push together in worry.

"Makoto, I need to—"

"Ma-ko-to!"

Haru felt his heart jolt in agony at the familiar, silvery voice, and cringed internally as the short, black-haired girl rounded the corner.

 _Seriously? Interrupted again?_

"Ah, Kanade," Makoto said, turning his head away from Haru.

Kanade held up a plastic bag, proving she had already made her purchase.

"I, uh, I got you some chocolate!" Kanade said nervously. She lifted a hand to rub the back of her neck. Makoto's face immediately lit up, and Haru looked at him, surprised.

"F-For me?" Makoto asked.

Kanade nodded happily and held out the bag to him. Makoto gently took it from her and looked inside the bag.

"K-Kanade! You didn't need to get so much!" Makoto protested.

"Nonsense! You deserve it!" Kanade said, proudly putting her hands on her hips. "Besides… you seemed kind of down," Kanade said in a low whisper.

"Eh?" Makoto asked, his lips parted in surprise. His eyelids lowered slightly and he looked down at the bag, a small smile pulling at his lips. "I didn't mean to make you worry. I'm sor—"

"Hey!" Kanade yelled, pointing her finger at him.

"Ah, right, right!" Makoto said, tilting his head and giving her a smile. _The_ smile. "Well, we should definitely share these, then!"

"Ooh, you're so nice, Makoto- _kun_!"

"Well, _you_ were the one who bought this for me, Kanade- _chan_!" Makoto chuckled.

Haru could not believe his eyes. How in the world had Kanade changed his mood so quickly?

"Oi, Haru!" Rin appeared around the corner as well, a soda in his hand.

"Oh, soda? That sounds pretty good right now," Makoto said cheerfully.

"Ah, Makoto, look!" Kanade said, pointing to the shelves behind him. Makoto turned around and saw plushies of sea animals resting on the shelf. "They're so cute! I think I should get some for Ren and Ran."

"Oh, they would like that!" Makoto said.

"Hey, this one reminds me of someone," Kanade said, her eyelids lowering into a cheeky grin. She picked up a shark plushie and put it next to Rin's head. "I didn't know you liked hanging out at convenient stores, Matsuoka-kun!"

"Uwa! Kana-chan found Rin-chan!" Nagisa said, his head poking around the isle. Rei rounded the corner as well and raised a brow at his former senpai's antics.

"I definitely see the resemblance," Makoto said, putting a hand to his chin.

"Oi," Rin growled, but Kanade merely giggled at him, her cheerful laugh ringing in his ears. Rin looked down at her, seeing her cheerful face and silvery laugh. His face softened and he looked over at the shelves. "Well, then you're this… thing," Rin said, grabbing a winged fish plush and putting it on Kanade's head.

"Hm? What's this?" Kanade asked.

"That would be a Sailfin flying-fish," Rei said as he adjusted their glasses. "They are fish that can propel themselves out of the water and glide above it for considerable distances. They're pretty small, but very fast creatures."

Rin smiled and looked down at Kanade, who was still balancing the plushie on her head.

"Shizumi, the flying fish," Rin said. "Now, that has a nice ring to it! And look, it looks just like you!"

Kanade pouted, puffing out her cheeks. She lightly started to punch Rin's arm, Rin laughing. Makoto could not help but laugh as well, seeing how well the two were getting along.

Behind Makoto, however, stood a frowning Haru, his impatience starting to catch up with him.

"C'mon, you guys!" Gou called from the end of the isle. "Let's go make some barbecue!"

* * *

The sun was beginning to set over the islands, the sky a little overcast. The barbecue had been prepped and cooked, everyone munching away at the good food. Haru had been cornered by the eager first-years along with Rei and Nagisa, while Gou and Kanade chatted by the grill.

Makoto stood off to the side. He had already finished his food, his stomach churning uncomfortably as he watched the waves. He put a hand up to his chest, remembering how Kanade had touched him earlier that day. Her eyes were yearning, and her touch was gentle. He thought about how close they were to…

"Yo, Makoto."

Makoto turned his head and saw Rin strolling up to him, two water bottles in his hands.

"Oh, Rin!" Makoto greeted. Rin handed him a water. "Thank you. It was nice of your sister to let everyone have a relaxing day, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, sure, I guess," Rin said, standing next to him. He watched as Makoto lifted the bottle to his lips and took a long swig. Rin opened his mouth.

"So, you into Shizumi?"

Makoto nearly choked on his water.

"M-Me? Into Kanade?" Makoto asked. "I-I-I…"

Rin smirked. "It's pretty obvious," Rin said, turning his head to look at Makoto. Makoto's face flushed and he stared at the ground. "So, are you going to confess?"

"Confess?" Makoto repeated softly, his head raising to look at Rin.

Rin felt his eye twitch. This is starting to sound all too familiar.

"You know, _how you feel?"_ Rin asked.

"O-Oh," Makoto said. "Well… maybe? I'm not sure."

"Hah?" Rin groaned. "What do you mean you're not sure?"

"W-Well, I just… I don't want to ruin our friendship," Makoto said. "And, I'm not sure she even likes me that way."

Rin smacked his forehead.

 _They're both idiots._

"Haru was right. You _are_ wishy-washy," Rin said, resting his hands on his hips.

"W-Wishy-washy?!"

Rin laughed at Makoto's flustered expression. He then raised his fist and punched Makoto's shoulder playfully.

"I approve, though, Makoto," Rin said.

"E-Eh?!"

"Shizumi's cool," Rin said, stuffing his hands in his pockets and staring out into the ocean. Makoto glanced back at Rin, surprised by his sudden words. But he smiled, agreeing with him.

"Yeah, she's pretty cool."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

* * *

"Okay! Let's get to training!" Gou said. "First-years need to work on their stamina. Rei-kun and Nagisa-kun, you'll need to keep an eye on them, got it?"

"Sure thing, Gou-chan!" Nagisa said, rushing towards the water. He and Rei both got into the ocean and waited for the others to catch up.

"It's _Kou_!" she shouted back. Kanade giggled next to Gou.

"He's full of energy, as usual," Kanade said, smiling at her.

"Of course," Gou said, smiling at Kanade. "All right, first-years! Start by swimming to the first island. It'll help with you getting used to the ocean!" Gou yelled.

"Got it!" one of them yelled back.

"Yeah, sure," Dai said glumly as he headed to the ocean.

"All right, Haru," Rin said, snapping his goggles strap against his head. "First one to the island wins."

Haru looked at him, life flashing into his eyes. He put on his goggles and headed straight for the water.

"Fine," he said bluntly. The two dove into the water and rushed vigorously towards the first island.

"Those two, seriously!" Gou said, shaking her head. "Keep an eye out for them, okay?" Gou said to Kanade.

"Sure thing," Kanade replied, putting her hands on her hips.

Kanade watched Gou walk back towards the lodges and then she turned to face the ocean. She took a deep, excited breath as she reached up to put on her goggles. Her hands froze on the goggles on top of her head when she saw Makoto off to the side, staring vacantly at the ocean. The sea breeze whipped at his fringe, blowing it lightly out of his eyes. Kanade walked over to him and gently put a hand on his shoulder, making him jump and sharply turn his head towards her.

"You okay, Makoto?" Kanade asked.

"Ah, y-yeah," Makoto said.

"You sure? You've been acting strange since yesterday."

"I'm fine," Makoto said with a tense smile. "Let's go!" Makoto said, putting on his swim cap. He headed towards the ocean and pulled his goggles on his head. Kanade gave a worried frown and followed him close behind.

* * *

"You won't win… on the way back," Rin said, panting with his hands on his knees.

"We'll…see about that," Haru panted.

The two had made it to the first island, easily blowing past the first-years and Nagisa and Rei. Haru straightened and glanced out at the ocean, watching as the rest of the group slowly made their way towards the island.

"He seems to be doing okay," Rin noted, standing next to Haru. "Having Shizumi helps him, I think."

Haru frowned hard and looked away.

"I'm guessing you haven't talked to Makoto about her yet, huh?" Rin asked, folding his arms across his chest.

"No," Haru said. "She's always with him."

Rin shook his head lightly. "Duh," he said sarcastically.

Haru turned his head to Rin, not hearing him. Rin only shrugged and stared out at the ocean. He watched as Nagisa and Rei, along with the three first-years, walked up on shore. Following closely behind them was Kanade and Makoto, both with smiles on their faces. Their smiles increased as they got closer to shore. Haru frowned and then looked at Rin.

"Distract her," Haru said sharply. Rin raised his brow and growled at him.

"Hah?!" Rin shouted.

"Distract her so I can talk to Makoto," Haru repeated.

"What? Do it yourself!" Rin yelled.

Haru frowned hard at him. "I won't race you if you don't."

"Seriously?" Rin asked, lowering his brows. Haru nodded fiercely.

Rin sighed. "Fine."

Rin walked away from Haru and waltzed up to Kanade as she and Makoto walked on shore, both of them smiling and laughing.

"Oi, Shizumi!" Rin yelled.

Kanade snapped her head to Rin and watched him approach her and Makoto, both still dripping wet from the swim.

"Ah, Matsuoka! What's up?" Kanade asked cheerfully.

"C'mon, we're racing to the next island," Rin said, pointing a thumb behind himself to the next island.

"Huh?" Kanade asked, tilting her head. "Now? Makoto and I were about to—"

"Yes! Let's go!" Rin said, heading towards the other side of the beach.

"E-Eh?! W-Wait up!" Kanade said, running after him.

Makoto chuckled as he watched them leave. "I'll catch up with you!" Makoto called to her. Kanade waved at him as she left.

Once they were out of earshot, Haru approached Makoto, his heart pounding.

"Makoto," Haru called.

"Oh, hey, Haru!" Makoto greeted with a tentative smile. "Should we move to the next island?"

"Makoto, I… want to talk to you about something," Haru started.

"Huh? O-Oh, okay," Makoto said. "What's up, Haru?"

Haru took a deep breath.

"I want to talk to you about Shizumi," he said.

"Kanade?" Makoto asked. His face started to redden and he looked down at the ground, shifting his weight on his feet nervously. "What about her?"

"I was wondering if—"

Suddenly, a gust of wind blew past them, making them both lift up their arms over their eyes to protect them from the sand. Once the wind had passed, Makoto looked up at the sky, seeing clouds coming in. He felt his pulse quicken and he turned to face the ocean, watching as the waves got bigger. His hands curled into tight fists, and he brought one hand up to press against his bare chest.

 _Why does the fear feel worse than before?_ Makoto asked himself.

Haru put his arms down from shielding his eyes and he stared back at Makoto, who was staring apprehensively out at the water. Haru felt a stabbing pain in his chest, his senses fogged and train of thought completely derailed.

"Makoto?" Haru called, taking a step towards him. He carefully put a hand on his shoulder, and Makoto jumped. Haru flinched back from his reaction but immediately put his hand back on his shoulder. "Are you okay?" Haru asked.

"Huh? Me? Oh, I…" Makoto stuttered. "I'm fine," Makoto said. His smile was struggling to stay on his face, not convincing Haru in the slightest. Haru dropped his hand from Makoto's shoulder.

"Maybe we should go back," Haru said, facing the home island.

"No!" Makoto said, almost a little too loudly. Haru whipped his head back at him, his eyes wide. "I'll be fine. Besides, I want to be able to help out the others. Gou told us to watch out for the younger swimmers."

"They have Nagisa and Rei... and they have Shizumi and Rin, too," Haru said. He did not want to give Kanade credit, but she _could actually_ swim well, so he felt that he could trust her instincts. This would also give Haru a chance to spend more time with Makoto.

"You're right, but," Makoto hesitated, his pained eyes glancing out at the ocean. "I want to do this. I… _need_ to do this."

Haru's eyes widened. "Makoto?"

Makoto put his goggles firmly over his eyes and walked towards the edge of the beach, his feet touching the water.

"C'mon, Haru! We need to catch up!" Makoto called from over his shoulder. He took steps into the water and plunged into it, starting a front crawl to the next island.

Haru's brows wrinkled together, a worried frown painted on his face. He quickly put on his goggles and took off to catch up to Makoto.

* * *

"Oh, wow, Shizumi!" Rin panted, his hands on his knees. "You're so fast!"

"Heheh… thank you!" Kanade panted right along next to him, although her breaths were a little more strained. She pushed a hand to her chest and stared hard at the ground. Rin noticed her breathing and straightened. Gou's words still rung in his ears, and he watched her carefully.

"You okay?" Rin asked. Kanade glanced at him and nodded happily. She sat down on the ground.

"I just... need a breather," Kanade said. She crossed her legs on the sand and glanced out at the ocean. Rin staggered over to her and plopped down next to her in the sand, his eyes gazing out at the water.

"I can't believe these guys trained this way a while back. They're nuts," Rin said. Kanade glanced over at him.

"I think… they're happy ab…about being together again," Kanade panted, but a smile was on her face.

"Yeah, yeah," Rin said.

He glanced over at Kanade, and his eyes widened a bit. Kanade's eyes were vacantly staring at the last island. Her hand was pushed against her heart, and her brows were creased with worry.

"What's up, Shizumi?" Rin asked. Kanade whipped her head back to Rin.

"O-Oh…" Kanade looked in her lap. "I was just thinking… Makoto has been acting a little strange since we got here," she said. Rin's brows rose at her words. "I'm a little worried about him."

Rin turned his head back out at the ocean. "You really care about him, huh?" Rin asked. Kanade glanced at him, her face quickly turning red, but her eyes still serious.

"Of course," Kanade said in a low voice.

Rin smiled at her and folded his arms across this chest.

"I'm glad Makoto has someone else who cares so much about him!" Rin said with a cheeky grin. "I half expected him and Haru to be together forever." Kanade giggled a little.

"Are they really that close?" Kanade asked, hugging her knees to her chest.

"Attached at the hip," Rin answered. "Well… at least until _you_ came along." Rin winked at her and gave her a cheeky grin. Kanade felt something strange about his words. Why did she feel like she was imposing now?

"H-Huh?"

"Oi, Kana-chan! Rin-chan!"

Rin and Kanade glanced around and saw Nagisa and Rei, along with the first-years, running up to them.

"Ah, Nagisa! Rei!" Rin said, standing to his feet.

"Ah, Matsouka…" Kanade tried to call after Rin, wanting to ask about what he meant, but her words disappeared into the air along with the sea breeze.

* * *

"Okay, okay! Last Island!" Nagisa announced to everyone. At this point, everyone was low on energy. Rei and Kanade were both showing signs of exhaustion.

"Nagisa-kun," Rei panted. "Shouldn't we take a break?"

"Nope!" Nagisa said. Rei deadpanned. "Look, Rei-chan!" Nagisa pointed at the main island. "It's not that far! Let's goo!"

"Nagisa-kun!"

Nagisa took off towards the water, and Rei ran after him. The first-years obviously laughed at Nagisa's tenacity and also ran after their senpais. Dai, however, stayed behind. As soon as they left, Makoto and Haru came ashore and walked up to Kanade and Rin, Makoto's brows arched at seeing Dai alone.

Rin glanced over at Haru and smirked. "Race?" Rin provoked. Haru did a quick look at Makoto. He sighed when Makoto did not meet his gaze and then he returned his eyes back to Rin.

"Fine," Haru said. He put on his goggles and headed towards the water.

After Kanade caught her breath, she looked back at Makoto, who was staring intensely at the sky. Kanade glanced up and saw dark clouds brooding overhead, the blue sky being eaten by gray. She glanced back at Makoto.

"Makoto? You okay?" Kanade called.

Makoto snapped his head down to look at her, and he gave her a strained smile. Kanade grimaced.

 _Makoto, your fake smile is getting worse… seriously, you're awful at hiding things,_ Kanade thought.

"I'm fine," Makoto assured. "Go on, I'll be right there," he said.

Kanade hesitantly nodded and then turned to go into the water. She vigorously swam ahead to catch up to the others.

Makoto then turned to Dai, who had a worried look on his face. Makoto tried for a reassuring smile.

"Ready to go, Dai?" Makoto asked, and Dai looked at him with worried eyes.

"Ah, s-sure," Dai said. They both put on their goggles and headed out to the water.

* * *

After a few grueling minutes, Rei and Nagisa, along with Rin and Haru and the first-years, made it to the main island safely. Gou had returned to them with fresh towels and a bright smile, but she frowned when she stared at the sky.

"Is a storm coming in?" Gou asked.

"Looks like it," Rei said. Gou frowned, a worried look painting her face.

"Is everyone back, yet?" Gou asked.

At this point, Kanade dragged her tired body out of the water and she staggered over to the others.

"No, Mako-chan and Dai-chan are the only ones left," Nagisa said. "But they'll be fine! They're right—"

Suddenly, a harsh gust of wind whipped at the island, causing the waves to rise and the sand to swirl. Everyone covered their faces as the wind howled again.

"Ah! This storm looks bad! We need to go inside!" Gou said.

"Not until Makoto gets here," Haru said firmly.

* * *

Makoto could see the main island in sight, and he pushed himself further and further. The storm clouds overhead were starting to frighten him, and he just wanted to get on dry land again.

Then, a huge gust of wind started to push the waves higher and higher. Makoto struggled to stay afloat, his heart starting to race.

 _Ugh, no… don't panic. Just relax. You can do this,_ Makoto told himself.

"Gah!"

Suddenly, Makoto heard a strangled cry from behind. He whirled around and his eyes widened.

Dai's arms were flailing above the water, and then, he disappeared beneath the surface.

…...

"W-Wait…" one of the first-years whispered. "S-Something's wrong with Dai!" he yelled, pointing. Everyone looked out at the ocean.

They saw Dai struggling in the water, his head bobbing up and down from the water's edge.

Then, they saw a second body swimming back towards him.

"Wait a minute, is that Mako-chan?" Nagisa asked.

"What the hell is Makoto doing?!" Rin yelled.

"Makoto," Haru whispered.

Haru took a step forward to enter the water when someone darted past him in a blur. His eyes widened when he realized a short, black-haired girl run past him.

 _Shizumi?_ Haru thought.

Kanade ran to the water's edge and dove into the ocean without any hesitation.

"Oi, Shizumi!" Rin yelled after her, running up and standing next to Haru. "Haru, c'mon! She can't go out there by herself!" he called, rushing into the water. Haru was right behind him, also diving in.

...

Makoto swam rigorously out to Dai, watching as he fell below the surface again and then struggled to get back to the surface. A bolt of lightning lit up the darkened sky, the waves increasing in size. Makoto saw Dai gasp for air, and then pain struck his chest, knocking the wind out of him. He stared at Dai and he went under again, and images flashed through Makoto's mind.

The storm, Rei drowning, the fish, the fisherman, the boat sinking, the grave…

Makoto felt his body freeze up.

 _No, I have to fight this!_ Makoto thought.

He lifted an arm to thrust it into the water, but he watched his arm remain flexed and tensed by his side. He felt his heart jolt, panic starting to build.

 _Overcome this fear. Come on! Don't be so…_

The edges of his vision started to turn black, and the sight of Dai struggling to get above the surface started to blur and then fade.

 _…useless._

His body started to sink.

* * *

Kanade pushed through the water, her chest starting to ache from the exertion of the powerful waves. She lifted her head and treaded water, searching the water for the two missing swimmers. Only a few feet away now, she saw Dai break the surface in a gasp.

"Dai-kun!" Kanade called.

She pushed herself through the water to get to him. Once she got close to him, she grabbed his arm and threw it over her shoulder. Dai glanced at her in shock.

Rin and Haru were close behind, treading water near them both.

"Sh…Shizumi-san?" Dai panted, his face showing immense pain.

"Where's Makoto?" Kanade yelled over the wind.

Dai glanced around through squinted eyes. His eyes widened when he saw brown hair just barely above the surface only a few feet away. With his other arm, he lifted it out of the water and pointed, Kanade, Haru, and Rin all following his finger. Kanade's eyes shot open when she saw the brown hair sink below the water.

"Makoto!" Kanade shrieked. She felt her chest tighten in pain. She was about to swim towards him when she saw Haru and Rin swim past her.

Haru dove in underneath the water, with Rin right on his tail. Haru opened his eyes in the painfully salty ocean water, straining to find his best friend. He saw a dark shadow slowly sinking in the water. He felt his chest jolt and he kicked his legs furiously down to it, Makoto's features becoming clearer as he reached him. He grabbed his arms and quickly pulled him up above the surface.

When they broke the surface, both were coughing and gasping for breath. Haru glanced at Makoto's face, and relief washed over him once he saw his eyes opened and his chest heaving with life. Rin quickly joined their side.

"You alright?!" Rin asked in a panic. Makoto remained silent, his eyes fluttering shut in exhaustion and his chest jumping.

"Let's get him back to shore," Haru said.

Rin nodded and grabbed one of Makoto's arms, throwing it over his shoulder. He and Haru carefully headed back towards the shore, fighting the rough waves. When they finally arrived at the beach, the three fell to their hands and knees, and a worried Gou, Nagisa, and Rei rushed to their sides.

"Onii-chan!" Gou said, falling down onto her knees next to him.

"I'm… fine, Gou," Rin panted.

"Haru-chan! Mako-chan!" Nagisa yelled, kneeling down by Haru.

"A-Are you all right?" Rei asked them.

Haru and Rin just panted, eyeing each other worriedly before looking at Makoto, who was still wedged between them. Makoto's shoulders were trembling fiercely, his eyes glued to the sand.

"Makoto," Haru called, putting his hands on Makoto's shaking shoulders.

Makoto jumped at Haru's touch, and he slowly turned his head towards Haru.

"Ha…Haru?" Makoto whispered. "Where… what happened?"

Haru remained silent, his eyes turning away. Makoto's eyes widened when he felt some rain pelting his bare back. He lifted his head and saw several worried faces staring back at him.

"Are you okay, Mako-chan?" Nagisa asked, his eyes sad and teary.

"Makoto-senpai…" Rei whispered.

Makoto's breath hitched in his chest.

 _Oh, no… it's happened again._

"You idiot…" Rin whimpered. Makoto turned his head to his other side and saw Rin on the verge of tears.

"Rin…" Makoto whispered.

"You knew you were afraid and you still pulled a stunt like that?" Rin asked.

Makoto glared painfully at the ground, his hand grasping a fistful of sand. He felt his arms shake underneath his weight.

"No, I just…" Makoto started. "I was just trying to make sure everyone was safe. I couldn't let Dai—"

Makoto's breath hitched in his chest again and he sat up on his knees, his eyes frantically searching. No Dai.

No Kanade.

"Wh… where are they?" Makoto asked. He shifted to get on his feet, but he felt his shaking legs buckle underneath him and he fell backwards.

"Makoto!" Haru called. "Just wait a minute!"

"Don't get up, you idiot!" Rin scolded.

"Where's Dai? Where's… Kanade?" Makoto fell onto his back, dizziness overtaking him. He draped an arm over his eyes to try to still the earth from swirling.

"Shizumi went to save Dai," Haru said. Makoto lifted his arm from his eyes and tried to focus on Haru.

"She might need help!" Makoto said. He tried to sit up again, but Rin put up his hand, making Makoto stop momentarily.

"You are in no condition to go anywhere!" Rin yelled. Makoto tried to get up again, but Haru grabbed his shoulders and kept him on his back.

"But—!"

"No, just stay here," Haru commanded, holding down Makoto's shoulders. Makoto grimaced and placed his arm over his eyes once again.

"Hey, there they are!" Nagisa called, pointing to the ocean. Makoto jumped and tried to lean up, but Haru held him down. He lifted his head from the sand and squinted his eyes to see.

Kanade had her arm around Dai, one of his arms draped around her shoulders. Her face looked exhausted and pained, but she kept pushing ahead. Dai was limping pitifully, his face twisted in pain. Nagisa and Rei ran to them and grabbed Dai from Kanade's shoulders. She immediately collapsed onto her hands and knees and pressed a hand to her chest.

Makoto felt panic rise in his chest. "K-Kanade…" he whispered. He sat up, forcing Haru's arms back. He stared at her with wide eyes, and his frame started to shake.

Rin looked at Makoto's eyes and followed his gaze. Rin's eyes also widened, and he immediately stood to his feet and rushed by Kanade's side. He knelt down to her and grabbed her shoulders.

"Oi, what's wrong?" Rin asked.

"Is… Is Makoto okay?" Kanade asked through pained gasps. Rin paused.

"Yeah, he's a little shaken up, but he's fine," Rin responded, pointing a thumb over his shoulder.

Kanade lifted her head and saw Makoto leaning up slightly, Haru's hands on his shoulders to hold him still. She locked eyes with his, blue staring into green. She watched as his chest jumped wildly, his eyes wide with concern. Kanade sighed and hung her head in relief.

"Thank goodness," Kanade said. She planted her foot on the sand and forced herself up onto her feet. Rin tried to stop her once he saw her wobbling legs.

"W-Wait a minute, where are you—"

"I need… to check… on Dai-kun," Kanade said.

As Kanade hobbled past Makoto, she locked eyes with his again. She recognized the look in his eyes. It was pure fear, just like the incident in his apartment just a month ago. She immediately knew that Makoto had a panic attack out there in the ocean. Kanade took a deep breath, trying to relax her pounding heart. Once she felt a little more comfort in her chest, she locked eyes with Makoto again and smiled at him. She saw him visibly flinch, but then his shoulders relaxed, his eyelids heavy over his green eyes.

 _Good, just relax. Even if you can't smile now, I at least don't want to see that pained look in your eyes,_ Kanade thought.

She walked over to Dai, who was lying down on the sand and holding his leg. The other first-years along with Nagisa and Rei were hovering over him, all at a loss for what to do.

Kanade put her hand on Rei's shoulder, gently moving him out of the way.

"Sh-Shizumi-san?" Rei asked.

"Kana-chan?" Nagisa whimpered.

Kanade knelt down at Dai's side and put her hand on his arm. She took a deep breath before speaking, making sure her breaths were even.

"Are…you all right?" Kanade asked, almost managing to get the sentence out in one painful breath. Dai coughed a little and then looked up at Kanade.

"M-My leg," he rasped. Kanade looked down at his leg. "It's cramped up! Ugh, it hurts!"

Kanade moved down to his leg and gently began to work on the muscle with her fingertips. Dai put his arms over his eyes, fighting back the urge to scream when she touched his leg.

Nagisa stood by Rei, a scared look on his face. "Dai-chan…" he whispered.

Rei glanced at Nagisa and put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, Nagisa-kun. It's just a cramp. It happens sometimes," Rei assured.

Kanade kept massaging the muscle, despite Dai's small whimpers and flinches. She sighed painfully. Her chest still felt as if someone was squeezing it. She took a break from massaging Dai's leg to lift a hand to her chest.

 _Just relax. Everyone is fine._

Kanade turned her head to look at Makoto. Haru and Rin sat on either side of him, the three of them just sitting quietly. Makoto was resting his forearms on his knees, a pained look on his face. He looked up from the ground and looked at Kanade, his eyes widening once he met her eyes. Makoto's green eyes were dulled, his expression filled with worry.

 _See? He's fine. Now don't make him worry about you!_

Makoto lowered his brows at her as if to ask, ' _Are you okay?'_ Kanade's face scrunched up painfully.

 _I'm the one who should be asking_ you _that!_

Kanade turned back to Dai and worked out the muscle again, the pain in her chest tightening.

"You okay, now?" Rin asked Makoto, snapping him out of his thoughts. Makoto glanced down at his trembling hand.

"Mmn," Makoto hummed.

"We should go back to our room," Haru suggested. Rin nodded in agreement.

"Is Dai okay?" Makoto suddenly asked, not moving his eyes from his shaking hand. Haru and Rin both glanced over at Dai, seeing him now sitting up. His pained face was now clouded in relief.

"Looks like it was a bad cramp," Haru said.

"That was one hell of a bad cramp," Rin noted as he stood to his feet. He bent over to grab Makoto's upper arm. "C'mon, we need to get you inside."

Makoto nodded groggily as Rin helped him to his feet. He stumbled a bit, but Haru and Rin both grabbed his shoulders to steady him.

"Take it easy," Haru said.

"All right, let's go," Rin said. "Oi, Nagisa, Rei!" Rin called. The two of them jumped and looked in Rin's direction. "Bring him to the rooms," Rin said, nodding towards Dai.

Rei and Nagisa nodded as they leaned down to grab Dai, gingerly pulling him up. Kanade pushed herself up onto her feet as well, a dizzy spell washing over her as she stumbled forward slightly while holding her head and chest. The wet sand swirled under her feet and she took a shaky step forward before collapsing onto her hands and knees.

"Shizumi-chan!" Gou called, rushing over to her and putting her hands on her heaving shoulders.

"G-Gou-chan…" Kanade whimpered out, and Gou jumped at the sound of her first name. "I…need to…get back to my room."

* * *

"I want to see if Dai is okay."

"You're resting."

"But—"

Haru gave Makoto a stern look as he forced Makoto onto the futon in their room at the lodge. Makoto sighed and hung his head, not responding to Haru's stare. Rin also stood in front of Makoto, his hands on his hips and he glanced down sadly at Makoto's shaken state.

"Just rest for a while, okay?" Haru told him. He handed Makoto a towel and a clean shirt, and Makoto reluctantly took them from his grasp.

Makoto released a shaky sigh as he put the shirt on. "Mmn," he hummed in defeat as his shoulders slumped. Haru pressed his brows together as he stared down at the top of Makoto's head. Haru sighed softly and stood to his feet.

Rin reached out and ruffled Makoto's hair, Makoto quietly whimpering under his touch.

"Don't scare us like that," Rin said, his voice shaken.

Makoto moved his gaze up, Rin's hand still resting on top of his head. Rin's eyes had tears in them, droplets threatening to spill at any minute.

"R-Rin…" Makoto whispered. He gave the redhead a sad look and mumbled out an apology.

"D-Don't look at me like that, either!" Rin said, raising his hand to wipe his eyes.

"Sorry," Makoto mumbled again, lowering his head to hide his eyes.

Rin took his hand from Makoto's head. "Just rest here, okay? We'll be back with some drinks and food."

"What… what about Kanade?" Makoto asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Rin and Haru stopped at the door and turned to face Makoto, who had a worried expression on his face. Haru glanced away from Makoto's gaze, not willing to answer any questions about Kanade anytime soon.

"She seemed fine," Rin said slowly. "Why?" Rin asked, his brow raised.

"Just… wanted to make sure she was okay," Makoto said, lowering his head to stare into his lap.

Rin and Haru exchanged looks, and then Rin looked back to Makoto.

"Don't worry about her right now," Rin said. "She's fine. We'll be back."

Makoto nodded, and he watched Rin and Haru leave the room. He sighed once he was alone, looking down at his shaking hands. He heard the wind outside pick up and he turned his head. The rain had begun to pitter-patter against the window in a lulling rhythm. Makoto sighed at the sight, turning his head back to his lap.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps in the hallway. He could hear Nagisa and Rei talking and moving down the hall, along with other footsteps. Makoto felt his heart jolt. Is Dai going with them? He should be resting, not walking about. With some newfound strength, Makoto stood to his feet and tiptoed to the door, poking his head out to stare down the hallway.

Nagisa and Rei were walking down the hallway with two of the first-years in tow. Makoto cocked his head, wondering where Dai was. He was about to run after them when he noticed the door across from theirs was cracked open slightly. Makoto took a deep breath and left his room, quietly sliding the door shut behind him. He put his hand on the door and slowly slid it open.

Sitting against the wall on a futon was Dai, his knees pulled to his chest as his eyes bore holes into the ground. When he noticed Makoto enter the room, he lifted his head and stared sadly up at him.

"Ah, T-Tachibana-san…" Dai whispered. "A-Are…"

"Are you okay, Dai?" Makoto asked, looking down at the teenager.

Dai glanced up at Makoto, his eyes wide at first, but then they squinted painfully. He leaned his chin on his arms and turned his gaze away from Makoto.

"I…" Dai choked out.

Makoto sat down next to Dai and leaned his aching back against the wall. He glanced over at Dai, his worry growing when the teen still said nothing.

"You know… you had been swimming fine all last week. No cramps or anything," Makoto started. Ho looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath through his nose. "Stress can cause cramps."

Dai's eyes widened and he turned his head to look at Makoto, his eyebrows creasing with worry.

"Are you… stressed, Dai?" Makoto asked, his eyes still staring up at the ceiling. Makoto was unsure what he was doing. He had been stressed the entire time he was on the islands, as well, but he just could not find it in his heart to let Dai be alone right now. Something in his heart told him he needed to be strong for the young teen.

Dai took a deep breath and his eyelids lowered slightly as his face contorted into a painful squint. He stared hard at the floor.

"Yeah," Dai breathed out. Makoto glanced down at Dai and he felt his chest burn with relief. Finally, Dai was opening up.

"What's up?" Makoto asked in earnest.

"It's… this club," Dai said, burying his face in his arms that rested on his knees.

"Swim club?" Makoto asked.

"Yeah."

"Why is it causing you stress?"

Dai hesitated, his face still buried in his arms. Makoto watched patiently as he lifted his head, his eyes more watery and red than before.

"L-Last year, I was in the swim club at my middle school," Dai began. "I was really excited then. I won tournaments and everything. And I applied to go to Samezuka Academy because of their swimming program. My parents were really proud, and they wanted to celebrate. So…" Dai dropped his chin to rest on his arms. "Then, my family went on vacation. We were allowed to bring some friends with us. So I had brought a friend, and my younger brother brought a friend."

Dai shifted uncomfortably, his shoulders tensing and his voice straining a little.

"We went to an island, just like this one. We were all swimming together, and I dared my brother and his friend to swim out as far as they could," Dai said. He took a slow breath. "But then, a sudden storm came up, and the waves were getting really rough. So I swam out to get them. I managed to grab my brother, but his friend…"

Makoto's eyes widened at Dai's story, his heart clenching painfully in his chest. Makoto lowered his head and looked in his lap, noticing that his hands had begun to shake again. Makoto took a slow, deep breath and tried to calm his nerves.

"My brother told me after the funeral that he hated me, and that if I wasn't in the stupid swim club, then none of it would have happened. I haven't spoken to him since then, and we even live in the same house." Dai laughed bitterly, a few tears escaping his eyes. "I told my parents I wanted to quit the swim club— just give it up. But, they told me I shouldn't give it up because of how hard and how far I had gotten, and they forced me to join. I tried really hard at first. Nagisa-senpai and Rei-senpai are great. I feel bad that I'm letting them down, but…" Dai closed his head and hid his face in his arms again. "I just can't shake this guilt."

"Dai…" Makoto whispered.

"I don't want to swim if my brother hates me. I don't want to swim if his friend no longer can."

Makoto paused, his heart pounding against his ribcage. He thought about Dai's situation, replaying his story over and over in his head.

Suddenly, Kanade's face popped up in his head. He remembered when she first crashed into his life, how her bright smile led him out of a slump. Her deep blue eyes sparkled, and everything around her seemed to come to life. Then, she invited him to swim with her, and he remembered how he felt so unsure about swimming without Haru.

 _If Haru's not there then…_

But then, he took the plunge and raced against her. When his head lifted out of the water that day, the dull colors that surrounded his depressing college life had suddenly turned vivid and bright. He remembers her serious face that day, and how she knelt down beside him and said…

 _"I hope swimming with me makes you even the slightest bit happy."_

Makoto felt something prick his chest at those familiar words. He smiled as he lifted a hand to his chest. He knew, from that day in the pool, that he could swim again, even if it was without Haru.

 _Wow. I owe so much to Kanade…_ Makoto thought.

He glanced at Dai and took another deep breath.

"Dai," Makoto said, putting a hand on his shoulder. Dai lifted his head and looked at Makoto. "I know you think it was your fault. But it wasn't," Makoto said. "Don't blame yourself," he added. "It's okay to be sad about it. Really, it is. But you can't punish yourself like this. I want you to find joy in swimming again."

"But… I don't feel that I should. I can't be happy swimming for myself if my brother is going to hate me for it," Dai said. Makoto pondered for a bit.

"Then, why don't you swim _for_ your brother?" Makoto asked. Dai's eyes widened and he locked his gaze with Makoto's. "If you can't swim for yourself, then swim for your brother. Swim for your brother's friend."

"But… what if he'll hate me more?" Dai asked. Makoto smiled gently.

"I don't think he will, Dai," Makoto said. "If he sees how hard you've worked on this, then I think he'll understand how much swimming means to you."

Dai's wide eyes filled with tears, droplets sliding down his cheeks. He turned his head away from Makoto and closed his eyes. He nodded as his shoulders trembled.

"I… I'll try," Dai said through hiccups. Makoto smiled and squeezed his shoulder.

* * *

"K-Kanade-chan…" Gou whispered when she came back into the room.

Kanade was huddled in the corner, an oxygen mask held to her face. Her eyes were shut tightly, but she forced them open when she heard Gou's voice. She removed the mask and tried for a smile.

"Ah, h-hey… Gou-chan," Kanade rasped. "I'm… fine."

Gou quickly shut the door behind her and rushed to her side, kneeling beside her and putting her hand on her shoulder.

"This doesn't look fine…" Gou whispered. Kanade waved her off.

"It's fine. This… is normal," Kanade replied in between breaths. Gou did not look convinced, and her brows pushed together.

"I'm getting Makoto-senpai," Gou said, standing to her feet.

As soon as Gou got on her feet, she felt her wrist being grabbed and she halted before she could even take a step. She turned around and saw that Kanade had dropped the oxygen mask and was using all of her energy to keep Gou in place.

"K-Kanade?"

"Please!" Kanade begged through a wheezy voice. "D-Don't…" Kanade gasped for breath. "Please."

Gou looked down at her puppy-dog eyes and sighed, shaking her head.

"I don't like it, but… fine," Gou said.

Kanade hung her head, letting go of Gou's wrist.

"T-Thank you s…so much, Gou-chan."


	18. Chapter 18

Hi, everyone! I hope you really are liking this story so far and not getting bored with it! Let me know if you want me to continue with this. I don't want to create something that is boring or stale.

Thank you to everyone who has commented! I cherish every comment I see, and I love all of your support!

Enjoy this chapter!

* * *

Chapter 18

* * *

"Nagisa-kun! Hurry up!"

Rei was standing in the doorway of the room, dressed in his tracksuit. He had his duffle bag in his hand, along with his pair of goggles in the other. Nagisa was looking in his bag for his swim cap.

"Uwahh, you go on ahead, Rei-chan! I need to find my swim cap!" Nagisa said.

Rei hung his head and sighed. "Fine. Just hurry up! Gou will make us do extra laps if we're late!"

With those parting words, Rei took off down the hall. Nagisa scrambled around the room, checking in all of his belongings that had spewed across the floor. He quickly ran towards another pile of clothes in the corner, but he tripped on Rei's backpack. Nagisa fell on his face with a pitiful whelp. He leaned up at rubbed his face, turning back to look at Rei's bag. Everything had spilled out of the bag.

Nagisa groaned and crawled over to Rei's bag, picking up the spilled contents to carefully put it back in his bag. He snickered when he saw a few of Rei's notebooks and his neat handwriting. He raised a brow when he saw a textbook among the pile, and he rolled his eyes.

 _Oh, Rei-chan! Really? Working so hard even on break._

An extra swim-cap was lying next to Rei's bag, and Nagisa gave a cheeky grin and grabbed it.

 _Aha! Rei-chan saves the day!_

Nagisa had almost finished replacing Rei's things when he saw a familiar paper. He felt his breath hitch in his chest at the sight, and his small hand reached for it, his fingers delicately pinching the edge.

The words "Career Survey" were clearly written at the top. Nagisa's eyes widened when he noticed that it was blank, just like his. Nagisa scratched his head. He remembers how Rei had looked stressed recently. Rei's stroke was off, almost injuring himself. He had been trying to bring up topics with Nagisa, but then he would stop, not continuing the sentence. Or, they would be interrupted, and Rei would look distant and forlorn.

Nagisa looked at the box at the bottom. The word "College" had been written, but then erased. Nagisa's eyes widened.

 _But… I saw Rei-chan going to that prep school. Why would he erase this?!_

"Ah, Nagisa-senpai! Let's go!"

Nagisa jumped at the sound of Dai's voice from the doorway.

"A-Ah, right!" Nagisa shouted, stuffing the paper into Rei's bag. "C-Coming!"

* * *

Kanade heard shuffling down the hall, and she hurried to get her things in order. She was fully dressed in her tracksuit, her goggles hanging around her neck. She quickly tied her black hair into a ponytail and she grabbed her swim cap.

Kanade left her room and was about to head down the hall when she heard familiar voices next door. She tiptoed towards the next room and rested against the wall, trying to keep her breathing steady and quiet.

"You don't have to go out there today, you know."

Kanade pushed her eyebrows together.

 _Oh, that's Nanase's voice._

"Ah, it's fine, Haru."

Kanade felt her heart jump. That was Makoto's voice. It sounded a little sad.

"I want to be able to watch them swim. And I think the weather is supposed to be great the rest of the week, so I should be fine," Makoto said, although his voice was not all convincing.

There was a hesitant pause. Kanade could picture Haru staring at Makoto, his eyes trying to tell him something in their own silent language.

"Are—"

"Spying, eh, Shizumi?"

Kanade jumped, a tingling sensation flooding her entire body. She slapped her hand over her mouth to prevent a scream and she turned around to see a smug Rin standing behind her.

"Pfft, whatchya getting so scared for?" Rin snickered. Kanade threw her fists by her sides in a pout.

"I was _not_ scared!" Kanade retorted in a loud whisper.

"Sure, sure," Rin said. "What are you doing anyway?" Rin asked.

Kanade's face softened, and her head turned back towards the door of the room.

"Well…" Kanade stuttered. "I was… a little worried about Makoto," Kanade said. "Yesterday he seemed really... well… and out in the water, I saw him… I was… he was..." Kanade's voice trailed off quietly.

Rin's smirk faded from his face as he watched her worried expressions. He remembered how shaken Makoto looked the other night. He could not shake Makoto's frightened face out of his head. Rin turned around.

"C'mon, let's go," Rin said, and he started to walk down the hallway. Kanade stared after him for a minute but rushed to catch up, her eyes flitting back to Makoto's room one last time. "Makoto is fine. He asked about you a lot, actually," Rin said.

"Huh? M-Me?" Kanade stammered.

They walked into the open lobby and headed for the front door.

"Yep! Typical Makoto, always worrying about others before himself," Rin said as he opened the front door for Kanade

Kanade walked through the opened door and waited for Rin stood outside the lodge, Rin's hands shoved in his tracksuit pockets. The sky was a little cloudy, but it was still warm and the wind was calm.

"He's always been like this?" Kanade asked. Rin nodded.

"Makoto, the saint. Or Mamakoto," Rin said.

Kanade could not help but smile sadly at Rin's words, remembering how Makoto was at the restaurant incident. He wanted to make sure she was okay before himself, ignoring his own serious injuries just to ask if she was all right.

"I can see that, I think," Kanade said. "He's a really sweet guy."

Rin smirked at her, and Kanade felt her face flush. She turned away from Rin, feeling her face heat up.

 _What the?! Did I just say that out loud?! How embarrassing!_

Rin nudged Kanade gently and laughed at her, and Kanade turned to face him and pouted.

"D-Don't tease me, Matsuoka-kun!" Kanade yelled.

"Aw, but I thought you liked talking about _sweet_ Makoto."

"Matsuoka!"

Kanade started punching Rin's arm, but Rin only laughed at her, bot of them unaware that Haru and Makoto had just stepped out of the lodges.

"What are you doing?" came Haru's harsh voice.

Kanade jumped at the sudden voice behind her and she spun around, a soft squeak leaving her lips. Haru seemed more irritable than usual this morning, even Kanade could tell. She stepped out of his way and moved towards Makoto. She glanced up at him. He was wearing a small, fragile smile, and his green eyes were lacking luster.

"You okay?" Kanade asked him. Makoto's smile did not move, but Kanade noticed how his brow twitched slightly at her question.

"I'm fine," Makoto said, his voice slightly strained.

Kanade blinked at him, feeling her body stiffen at his awkward response. She tried to smile, but her lips refused to form the shape.

"Ready to go?" Makoto asked.

Kanade grimaced slightly. Makoto's eyes looked vacant and empty, and Kanade could feel her spine tingle. But she put on a brave face and forced herself to look him in the eye.

"S-Sure."

"Good morning, guys!" Gou called, waving her hands at everyone as they approached the beach.

"We definitely will train a little better today. Uh," Gou stopped speaking and looked at the team. "Where's Nagisa-kun?"

"I tried to get him to hurry up," Rei said, folding his arms across his chest.

"Typical," Gou said, shaking her head.

"Ah, sorry we're late, Gou-senpai!"

Gou lifted up her head and saw both Nagisa and Dai running towards the beach. Dai had a huge smile on his face, despite running so hard.

"Ready to start training?" Dai asked everyone.

Gou stared at him, her jaw dropped and her eyes wide. The other first-years also stared back at him in amazement, and Rei and Nagisa were shocked. Dai glanced at all of them and raised a brow.

"Uh, Dai-kun, are you okay?" Gou asked, tilting her head.

"Huh?" Dai stammered. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just ready to get back to training."

Dai stole a quick glance at Makoto, who smiled gently back. Dai then turned his head to face everyone, who still had widened eyes and dropped jaws.

"What? Why are you guys just standing there? C'mon, let's go!" Dai said, and he rushed for the water. "I'll beat you for sure, Nagisa-senpai!" he challenged over his shoulder. Nagisa beamed and flashed a huge smile.

"Oh, a challenge, huh?! Let's go, Rei-chan!" Nagisa called as he put on his goggles and hurried towards the water.

"E-Eh?! W-Wait, Nagisa-kun!" Rei rushed after him, leading the first-years into the water.

Kanade glanced back at Makoto, whose smile had disappeared and his eyes were downcast. She carefully walked over to him and tugged on the sleeve of his tracksuit jacket. Makoto lifted his head to look at her.

"Are you all right?" Kanade asked. Makoto blinked a few times before forced that uncomfortable smile back on his face.

"Yeah," Makoto answered. "Are you guys ready to swim?"

"Eh? Makoto, are you sure?" Rin asked as he took off his jacket. Makoto nodded at him.

"Yeah, let's go," Makoto said a little less than enthusiastically.

Makoto took a step towards the water and then froze. He looked out at the ocean, memories from last night exploding in his mind. His breaths got a little shallower and his frame trembled slightly.

 _You're fine,_ Makoto told himself. _Look. The ocean is calm. It's not going to…_

He remembered the fisherman, and Rei almost drowning. He remembered waking up to an alarmed Haru on a beach, his body aching and throat sore. He remembered seeing Kanade's terrified face when she grabbed Dai right before he fell underneath the surface and blacked out.

Makoto turned his head back and locked eyes with Kanade, who was almost on the verge of wearing that same expression as last night.

 _I never want to see that pained face again,_ Makoto thought sadly.

"You guys go on ahead," Makoto said with a smile. Both Kanade's and Haru's eyes widened, entrancing Makoto in a sea of worried, blue stares. "I think I'm more tired than I thought."

The four of them were silent for what seemed like an eternity.

"O-Okay," Kanade finally said. She put on her goggles, Rin following.

Haru stared back at Makoto, seeing his frame start to quake.

"Makoto," Haru called softly. Makoto raised his head and looked at Haru, his eyes more vacant than ever. "I can stay if you want."

Makoto frowned a little, his eyes staring at the sand. He pondered over Haru's words, and Haru could tell that he was conflicted. But, soon enough, Makoto raised his head and that same smile was on his face.

"It's fine. Enjoy yourself!" Makoto said. "I'm just going to wait here."

Haru stared at him, his brows pressed together apprehensively. He kept his eyes on Makoto, trying to make him change his mind, but Makoto did not back down. He kept his spellbound gaze on Haru, not moving an inch.

Haru sighed.

"Fine."

* * *

"Not as fast today, eh, Shizumi?" Rin panted as he watched Kanade walk up on shore.

Kanade pulled her swim cap and goggles from her head and hunched over, resting her hands on her knees and trying to catch her breath.

"I… I guess not," Kanade panted. After she caught her breath, she straightened up, her eyes staring out at the ocean.

"Still worried?"

Kanade suddenly felt an arm rest on top of her head. She tried to turn her head to meet Rin's eyes, but he kept his arm heavily on top of her head. Kanade sighed in defeat under his weight.

"Makoto's being distant," Kanade said. "He's been distant since we got here."

Rin lifted his arm from her head and he rested his hands on his hips. He stared out at the ocean along with her.

"He'll be fine," Rin said, his face unchanging.

Kanade whipped her head up at him, her eyes longing for more information, more explanation. But it never came. Rin just stood silently, the breeze pushing his red locks out of his face.

Rin turned his gaze down towards her and he grimaced slightly.

"Oi, you're not gonna cry on me, are you?" Rin asked.

"Eh? No!" Kanade pouted. She folded her arms across her chest and stared back out at the ocean, her lips pulling into a grin. "You did that for us both yesterday."

"I wasn't _crying_!" Rin scowled.

"Sure," Kanade said softly. She smiled sadly at the ground, watching the waves push past her feet that were hiding in the sand.

Rin cleared his throat and lifted a hand to rub the back of his head.

"You know, if you're so worried about him, why don't you talk to him?" Rin asked. Kanade glanced at Rin from the corner of her eye.

"Well… I have a hunch about what's wrong, but…" Kanade paused. "I don't think it's any of my business."

"I think he'll open up to you about it," Rin said after another brief pause.

"Oh?" Kanade asked, and her head turned to look at him completely.

"With how close you two are, I'm pretty sure he will," Rin responded.

"But…" Kanade stammered. "I've tried to see if he's okay, but he just tells me he's fine."

"Of course he does. That selfless bastard," Rin said with a smirk.

Kanade lightly chuckled at that. She knew Rin meant no harm. She put her hands on her hips, a little more confident now.

"All right! I guess I'll talk to him tonight," Kanade said.

"That's the spirit. Like I said, he'll open up to you," Rin said.

"I hope so! I want to—"

"Leave him alone."

Harsh words bounced off of the sound of the waves, and light splashing could be heard. Kanade and Rin snapped their heads around.

It was Haru.

Haru's harsh eyes were sending a threatening glare toward Kanade, and she felt his eyes boring holes into her. Her arms dropped by her sides and she stiffened as he approached. Something about him at the moment seemed hostile, and his face was sending shivers down her spine.

"Let him be. Don't get involved with his business," Haru warned.

"H-Haru!" Rin gasped.

Haru briskly walked past Kanade and Rin and headed down the beach. The draft from his swift movements sent chills up Kanade's body, and goosebumps formed on her arms.

Kanade stood motionless as Haru walked down the beach. She lifted up her arms and held herself to warm her frozen body.

"Damn it, Haru!" Rin yelled, and he ran after him, leaving Kanade behind.

Rin rushed after Haru, trying to catch up to him before he dove into the water again. He managed to grab Haru's arm before he made a speedy dive into the water. Haru whirled around, bearing his teeth in complete frustration.

"What the hell, Haru?" Rin spat, bearing his teeth. "What was that all about?"

Haru looked away from Rin and tried to get out of his grasp, but Rin was not budging. He sighed, feeling himself relax in defeat.

"I just don't want Makoto to get hurt," Haru explained. Rin furrowed his brows together, worry starting to seep into his angered core.

"And you think shutting out the girl he likes is really going to help?" Rin asked.

Haru froze for a moment, taking in Rin's words. He slowly turned his head back to meet Rin's gaze.

"He likes her?" Haru asked.

Rin raised a brow. "What, he didn't tell you?"

Haru felt something inside of him break in that moment. He had a feeling that it was true, and this little tidbit did not surprise him. What surprised him was the fact that Makoto did not tell him. Makoto would usually tell him everything, even down to the little details that did not really matter.

It was only when Makoto wanted to hide something from Haru that he chose to stay quiet.

Haru shook his head at Rin. "No," Haru said, his eyes wide. "He didn't."

Suddenly, a loud splash could be heard from behind the two, and Rin turned around. Kanade had jumped back into the ocean and was swimming back towards the main island. Rin let go of Haru's arm and he took a hesitant step towards Kanade before stopping.

"I don't trust her, Rin," Haru said suddenly. "Something is off. I know it is."

Rin turned back to look at Haru. "Those rumors again?" Rin asked, trying to remain calm.

"Yeah," Haru said.

Rin sighed and shook his head, resting his hands on his hips.

"Seriously, Haru," Rin scolded. "Just _talk_ to him."

Haru paused and fidgeted. "I've been trying to," Haru said, looking away.

"So even when I distracted Shizumi for you the other day, you _still_ didn't talk to him?" Rin asked.

"He was freaked out about the ocean again. I was worried, so it didn't come up."

Rin put his hand to his head and sighed. "You guys are hopeless. I'm done!" Rin slapped on his goggles and headed down the beach in the direction of the next island.

"Rin!" Haru called.

Rin waved him off as he was knee-deep in the water. "The only thing you should be doing now is talking to him about this. Don't involve me!"

Haru sighed and stared at the ground for a moment before running towards the water to catch up to Rin.

* * *

Kanade panted as she ran up on the shore of the main island. The edges of her vision blackened and she stumbled, falling to her knees on the sand. She gripped the sand in between her fingertips and heaved, trying to gasp in as much air as possible. She forced her head up and glanced around the beach. She recalls Makoto being right here when she left.

Kanade forced herself up from the sand and hobbled to her bag. With fumbling hands, she put on her tracksuit and then walked towards the lodges. Her pace was brisk, and she could feel the squeezing pain in her chest. She shook her head, trying her best to ignore the pain.

"Makoto?" Kanade rasped out when she got into the lobby. She glanced around, her vision starting to blur.

 _Where is he?_ Kanade thought.

"Kanade?"

Kanade whirled around, making her head spin. Behind her stood a blurry Makoto. Kanade could not make out what face he was making, but she felt happy enough just to hear his voice. She took a step towards him, but blackness once again crowded the edges of her vision and she stopped moving.

"K-Kanade? Are you okay?"

Kanade could hear Makoto calling out to her, and she tried to smile, but her gasping only made things worse. She wobbled in place and tried to shake off the dizziness.

"I'm… glad… I…" Kanade took a moment, trying to catch her breath. "Found… you… Makoto." Kanade took in more painful breaths. "I…"

Suddenly, Kanade's vision faded completely to black and she felt herself falling.

"Kanade?! Kanade!"

Makoto's voice rang through her ears as she hit the floor. The last thing she felt before losing consciousness was Makoto's hand on her head.

* * *

The first thing Kanade felt was the pain in her chest and head. She opened her eyes to a wooden ceiling, the faint sound of waves ringing in her ears. She realized that she was in one of the lodge rooms, but it was not hers.

Suddenly, a familiar, muffled voice suddenly caught her attention and she turned her head to look around the room. Makoto was standing near the door, his broad back facing her. He was on the phone.

"No, her breathing has calmed down now," Makoto said. His free hand was raking through his brown locks nervously. "Her pulse? Uh, no I haven't checked… Huh? Medications? No, I don't know."

Kanade squinted her eyes at him. _What's he doing?_ She thought.

"H-Huh? O-Oh… Uh, s-she's been out for… 20 minutes? Maybe closer to 30…"

Makoto's voice was quivering pitifully as he spoke. Kanade noticed his knees shaking a little as well.

"Um… I'm not s-sure what to do…"

He sounded as if he was about to cry, and Kanade felt her chest hurt for him. Once she felt the fuzziness leave her head, she leaned her head up and then pushed herself up.

"Makoto?" she called softly.

Makoto spun around, his eyes wide and his jaw dropped.

"Kanade?" Makoto whispered. He briskly walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face into her neck.

"M-Makoto?" Kanade said, surprised. She felt him breathe a sigh of relief.

"Thank goodness," Makoto's strained voice squeaked. He pulled back to look in her eyes, and Kanade noticed the stress buried in his. "I wasn't sure what happened. You just came in and you looked so pale and then you just…" Makoto's voice trailed off.

Kanade lifted a hand to rest on his shoulder and she frowned apologetically.

"I'm sorry," Kanade apologized. "You had been acting so strange lately… I was… worried."

Makoto's face dropped in guilt, and he frowned hard.

"Sorry…" he breathed. "I didn't mean to make you worry."

Kanade just stared down at the top of his head, watching as his shoulders trembled a little. She was about to reach out to touch his shoulder when a muffled voice cut through the silence. Makoto glanced down at his hand and realized he was still on the phone.

"Uwah!" Makoto yelped and he lifted the phone back to his hear, throwing a thousand apologies to the person on the other line. Kanade lifted a hand to her mouth to hold back her laughter, and Makoto gave her an embarrassed smile.

Kanade sighed gently. _Well… it's not his best smile, but at least he's smiling._

"Thank you so much," Makoto finally said, and he hung up the phone. "I had called a doctor's office from back home since we're not near a hospital, and they gave me advice on how to help you and what was wrong. They said they had an idea of what was wrong."

Kanade felt her breath hitch in her chest at his words. Did he… know? She tried to clear her throat, but the lump that had lodged itself there would not budge.

"What did they say?" Kanade managed to ask.

"They said it was most likely exhaustion," Makoto responded.

Kanade felt a wave of relief wash over her shoulders, and she breathed out a heavy sigh. She glanced back up at Makoto and smiled lightly at him.

"Y-Yeah, that sounds about right," Kanade said.

Makoto fidgeted with his phone in his hands, and he glanced down at the ground sadly.

"Were you that tired… because of me?" Makoto asked softly.

Kanade's smile fell. Well, she _did_ have trouble sleeping the night before, her worried thoughts plaguing her mind and preventing her from having a restful sleep. Technically, it was Makoto's fault she was tired and worried, but…

"Not… not really," Kanade answered. "I've just been worried. That's all."

Makoto stared at her, and then put on a sad smile. "Okay."

* * *

The clouds remained painted in the sky even until the afternoon. After everyone had eaten dinner, everyone had split up and gone either to their rooms or out about in the town.

The sun had almost set, but Kanade was already exhausted. She had left to go back to her room to try to turn in early for the night, but instead, Kanade stared up at the dim ceiling, feeling restless. She turned her head towards her bags, seeing the top of her oxygen tank sticking out of the top. She furrowed her brows, glaring angrily at it.

She remembered Makoto's worried face right before she lost consciousness earlier. It had been quite a while since she's passed out like that. She knew she would have to make a call to a very persistent doctor soon, but dreaded the thought. She rolled over on her futon and faced the window. The clouds were still thick, making the sky a little dark.

 _"You sure you're okay? You've been acting strange since yesterday."_

 _"I'm fine. Let's go!"_

Kanade huffed and rolled over, her eyes boring holes into the wall.

 _"Yep! Typical Makoto, always worrying about others before himself."_

 _"Mamakoto."_

Kanade rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling again.

 _The wind howled, and Kanade saw the speck of brown hair sink below the surface of the water._

 _"Makoto!"_

Kanade sat up abruptly, panting softly as she tried to block out the echoes of her own scream that still rung in her ears. It felt as if a rock had sunk to the bottom of her stomach.

Kanade threw off her blanket and then climbed out of her futon. Changing into a pair of basketball shorts and a comfortable t-shirt, she headed out to the lobby. She could hear the gentle waves from the ocean, and she found herself being pulled outside.

Once she was outside, Kanade took a deep breath through her nose, taking in all of the smells of the beach. She felt a smile pull on her lips and she closed her eyes for a moment, letting the breeze brush past her black hair. When she opened her eyes again, her gaze wandered towards the beach and the sunset and her eyes widened. She saw a figure sitting out on the beach, alone.

Kanade raised a curious brow as she walked down the path away from the lodges and headed towards the beach. As she got closer, the figure's outline became clearer, and she recognized that broad back. Once she was even closer, the familiar brown locks became clear.

"Makoto?" Kanade called.

Makoto turned his head and faced her. "Kanade," he whispered.

"What's up? Why are you out here by yourself?" Kanade asked, walking up to him. She sat down on the sand next to him.

"Oh," Makoto said, and he stared back out at the ocean. "Just… well…" Makoto tried to gather his thoughts as he stared back at the ocean. Kanade stared at him thoughtfully, and then followed his gaze back out to the ocean. The sun was almost completely set behind the horizon.

Kanade bit her lip. She looked at Makoto's worried eyes and felt something jab at her chest.

"Makoto," Kanade whispered. Makoto's gaze pulled back to her, a timid and sad look in his eyes. "Are… are you afraid of the ocean?"

Makoto gasped, his eyes widening in a flit of panic before his eyelids fell in defeat. He grimaced and his hands folded into tight fists in his lap. A shaky sigh fell from his lips as he glanced back out at the ocean.

"Yeah," Makoto hummed. He heard Kanade sharply inhale next to him. "I have ever since I was a kid."

"Makoto…"

Slowly, Makoto started his story, and his hands started to quiver in his lap as he gathered up the courage to speak.

"There was… a fisherman I knew as a kid," Makoto started. "He was so nice. I considered him my friend. But… there was a typhoon that year, and his boat sank. Several people onboard died," Makoto said sadly.

Makoto felt a hand grab onto his shoulder to still his shaking. However, his gaze did not leave the ocean, nor did his fragile heart stop quivering.

"Every time I come back to the ocean, I always think I've gotten over it," Makoto started, making Kanade peer back at him. "I want to overcome this and not drag people down."

"It's not dragging anyone down, Makoto," Kanade said.

"But, it did. Haru and Rin had to pull me out because I panicked," Makoto said, staring into his lap. "I couldn't save Dai. And then today, you pushed yourself too hard and passed out because you were worried about me."

"Makoto…" Kanade whispered. Her thumb gently stroked over his shoulder, caressing the tense muscles underneath his shirt.

"I was really hoping that it would be different this time. I thought being away from the ocean would make me forget it. Out of sight, out of mind, you know? But…" Makoto looked down at his trembling hand. "It only made it worse."

Kanade stared at him, looking at his forlorn expression. She glanced out at the ocean, seeing the sun being pulled down below the water. Her gaze was drawn towards the horizon, seeing it darken, and she glanced up towards the sky. Her eyes widened. She quickly glanced back to Makoto and stood to her feet in front of him.

"Makoto, close your eyes!" Kanade commanded. Makoto snapped her head up at her.

"Eh?!"

"Just trust me," Kanade said softly.

Makoto blinked for a moment, but then did as she said, closing his eyes. He felt her hand grab his and she helped him to his feet.

"Come with me," she said, pulling his hand.

"W-Where are we going?" Makoto asked.

"Trust me," Kanade said.

Makoto felt her hand still pulling him forward, and then he felt his feet get wet. He froze, his muscles clamming up. He was about to open his eyes when he felt Kanade's hand cover them.

"Don't open your eyes," Kanade said.

"But… Kanade," Makoto said. He felt his limbs start to shake.

"Makoto," Kanade whispered. She squeezed his hand. "Trust me," she said again. "Don't worry. I'm right here. I won't let anything happen. Just close your eyes."

Makoto took a shaky breath and then closed his eyes again. He felt Kanade tentatively remove her hand from his face, and then he pulled out into the water again. She led him deeper into the ocean, and he felt the water rise up to his knees and then his thighs.

"K-Kanade…" he whimpered. He felt her squeeze his hand again.

"I'm right here," Kanade said. "I promise I won't let you go."

They went a few more feet and then Kanade stopped. He felt her hand let go of his and he had a moment of panic as he reached out for her hand, too scared to open his eyes. His panic stopped when he felt her hands on the sides of his face.

"I'm going to have you lay back," Kanade said.

"What?" Makoto asked, feeling his panic surge back.

"Float on your back," Kanade said. "I won't let go, I'm right here."

Makoto hesitated. He felt one of her hands move to his back, and he jumped slightly. He fidgeted, moving his hand to rest on hers that was on his cheek.

"I'm… afraid," Makoto admitted.

"I know," Kanade said. "Just trust me."

Makoto released a shuddering breath and then started to lean back. Kanade helped him onto his back, and Makoto felt the water around his hair and ears, the waves lapping at his face and neck.

"Okay, Makoto," Kanade said, holding onto his hand. "Open your eyes."

Makoto fluttered his eyes open slowly, and then his breath hitched in his throat. He stared up at the night sky, his heart pounding in his chest. He saw thousands of stars twinkling in the black sky. The Milky Way could be clearly seen, the cluster of stars painting the night sky. A shooting star zoomed by and disappeared. Makoto took a deep breath, feeling his chest swell and his heart pound.

"Wow," he whispered. "Kanade, it's…"

Makoto turned his head to look at her, and his heart jumped. She was staring up at the sky with a beautiful warm smile on her face. The stars reflected in her eyes, making them sparkle a pretty, deep blue. Kanade, once she heard her name, glanced down at Makoto, and her smile widened.

"It's… beautiful," Makoto whispered, looking at her. Kanade only smiled at him. "I could… stay like this forever," Makoto said. Kanade chuckled.

"You realize where you are, don't you?" Kanade asked.

"Eh?" Makoto said.

Then, he felt the waves around his face again. His eyes widened and he stared at Kanade.

"I'm… I'm in the ocean," Makoto whispered.

"At night," Kanade added. She squeezed his hand. "And you're doing great."

Makoto smiled, a real, genuine smile that brightened up his face, and Kanade smiled back. She knelt down and laid on her back as well, her hand holding onto Makoto's. They floated on their backs and stared up at the stars. They laughed, and pointed up at certain stars, talking about how they twinkled and glistened.

After staring at the stars for a while, Makoto carefully leaned up, helping Kanade straighten up as well. She stumbled forward slightly and braced her hands on Makoto's chest. He grabbed her upper arms to stable her.

"Are you okay?" Makoto asked. Kanade slowly turned her head up to him.

"Yeah, I just lost my footing. I'm—"

Kanade stared up at Makoto's face and her breath hitched painfully in her chest. She stared up at Makoto's green eyes. She felt her face flush slightly.

Makoto stared down at her flushed face, feeling something swell in his chest and stomach. Her blue eyes shimmered as they stared back up at him, the stars twinkling in a sea of blue, and a burning desire grew in his heart. He moved his hands down to her sides, gently holding her. She moved her hands to clutch his sides as well, her hands grabbing his shirt. He stared at her face, her eyes, her lips…

He took a deep breath and parted his lips, leaning closer and closer, and watching her eyes as they slowly closed...

"Makoto!"

Makoto and Kanade immediately parted from one another, their hands dropping by their sides. Makoto turned around and saw a worried Haru standing on the beach.

"H-Haru?" Makoto called. He waded through the water and headed towards him. "What are you—"

"Why are you in the ocean at night?" Haru asked, his voice slightly panicked. Makoto scratched his cheek.

"Ah, well…" Makoto stammered.

Haru watched at Makoto fumbled with his words, unable to form a complete sentence. Haru saw Kanade standing in the water still, her arm crossed in front of her to grip the other, and her gaze turned towards the water. Haru felt something prick at his heart, and he sighed and turned away from Makoto, his patience beginning to run thin.

"Let's go back," Haru said. "It's late."

Haru started to walk back towards the lodges without another word, and Makoto was conflicted on whether he should stay or go.

"Ah, w-wait, Haru!" Makoto called. He took a hesitant step towards Haru before stopping and turning his head back to the ocean. "Kanade!" Makoto called.

Kanade snapped her head up from the ocean and locked eyes with Makoto. Makoto gave her a huge smile, the biggest smile she's seen on him. The sight made her heart hurt in her chest.

"Thank you," Makoto said sweetly, and he tilted his head.

Kanade felt her chest swell even more, her pounding heart threatening to burst out of her chest. She unconsciously nodded at him as her hand pressed against her pained chest.

"Have a good night!" Makoto called, and he took off to catch up to Haru.

Kanade reached out her hand after him and tried to call his name, but her throat was full and constricted, his name barely leaving her throat. She watched his back as he left.

 _Makoto… You are incredible,_ Kanade thought. She glanced down at the water, her chest still aching painfully.

 _I want to be with you._


	19. Chapter 19

You guys are the best! Seriously, you guys are what's keeping me going.

Love you all!

Enjoy!

~LuckE1

* * *

Chapter 19

* * *

"Ah, Goro-chan's here!" Nagisa called from the pier.

Goro's boat could be seen a few meters away, slowly making its way towards the pier. Nagisa was happily bouncing on the pier, trying to grab the attention of his teammates.

Dai, Rei, Gou, and the other two first-years walked down the pier together with all of their bags. Rei and Gou watched as Dai playfully shoved the shoulder of one of his peers, laughing and smiling as they made their way down to Nagisa.

Rei's brows rose in surprise at the sight. He cocked his head a little, watching them play around with each other. Then, he felt Gou tug on his sleeve.

"Dai-kun seems to have changed," Gou noticed.

"Yeah, you're right Gou-san," Rei said.

"Dai-chan seems happier," Nagisa said, suddenly by Rei's side and making Rei jump.

"N-Nagisa-kun!"

"I wonder what happened," Nagisa said, ignoring Rei's scream.

Nagisa had his hand on his chin as he stared suspiciously at the boy in question. Dai lightly punched one of his peers' shoulders and laughed, a brilliant smile appearing on his face.

Then, Kanade and Rin made their way down the pier to join them. Rin raised a brow when he saw Nagisa, Rei, and Gou staring at the first-years with shocked expressions on their faces.

"What's up with you guys?" Rin asked as he adjusted his ball cap on his head.

"It's Dai-kun," Gou explained. "After that incident earlier this week, his attitude totally changed. It's like someone flipped a light switch or something."

Dai, who was still talking to the others, turned his head when he saw Rin and Kanade. His eyes widened a little and then he hurried over to them.

"Ah, Gou-senpai," Dai called. He stopped in front of her and put on a serious face. "I… I think I would like to be a part of the relay."

They all just stared at him with wide eyes and dropped jaws.

"Eh?!" Nagisa, Gou, and Rei all shouted. Rin and Kanade exchanged looks and shrugged.

"You want to be a part of the relay?" Gou asked, wanting to hear his words again.

Dai nodded. "Ah, yeah," he said.

"What made you change your mind?" Gou asked.

"A-Ah," Dai stuttered. His cheeks turned a little pink as he lifted a hand to rub the back of his head. He put on a small smile. "Well… Tachibana-san talked to me about some things. He… he made me realize my motivation, I guess."

Kanade felt her heart jump, and her eyes widened. Rin glanced down at her and saw her eyes shimmering a little.

"Makoto-senpai?" Gou repeated.

"Ooh, Mako-chan talked to you, huh?" Nagisa asked.

"What did he talk to you about, Dai-kun?" Rei asked.

"Ah, well," Dai started. "Just… who I should swim for, I guess. He helped me to enjoy swimming again. To… not be afraid, I guess."

Kanade felt her eyes blurring as tears started to spill out. She quickly raised a hand to wipe the tears away. She had been worried all week about him, keeping her eye on him, making sure he did not panic. Kanade worried that Makoto would relapse, and fall apart. And even though the rest of the training camp went off without a hitch, she was still concerned that Makoto would go home still scarred and afraid. But now, she felt so much pride and relief at Dai's words.

Makoto would be just fine.

Suddenly, a hat came down on top of her head, covering her watery eyes. Kanade lifted up the bill of the hat and stared up at Rin, who was now hatless. He flashed her a small, understanding smile. She smiled back at him and lowered the hat back down over her eyes to hide her tears.

"Speaking of Mako-chan," Nagisa chirped, looking around. "Where is he?"

* * *

Haru blinked a few times, staring out at the beach near the pier. There, standing with his feet in the water, was Makoto. He was not wearing his usual timid and vacant expression. Instead, he wore a fond, affectionate expression with a warm smile.

Haru glanced down at the pier and then looked back at Makoto. He took a step towards him.

"Makoto," Haru called.

Makoto turned his head at the voice and smiled at seeing Haru.

"Oh, hey, Haru!" Makoto greeted with his signature head-tilt.

"What are you doing?" Haru asked.

"Ah," Makoto started, and then he chuckled. "Just enjoying the ocean."

Haru paused, taking in Makoto's words. He glanced down at the sand, at a loss for words. Haru could hear the waves crash softly, the smell of salt lingering around his nose. Since when did Makoto willingly want to enjoy the ocean? Was something wrong?

"I-I know, it seems silly, right?" Makoto said, turning his head back to the ocean. "When we were here last time, I was fine when you guys were with me after that accident. I told myself that I'd get over the fear, as long as I have friends with me. Then, I went to Tokyo and was away from the ocean. When Gou invited us, I thought it would be fine. I thought it would be easier since I had been away."

Makoto took a deep breath to listen to the crashing of the waves.

"But… it wasn't easier. It… got worse," Makoto said sadly.

Haru lifted his head from the sand to gaze at Makoto's broad back. He expected it to tremble or sag, but it remained tall and strong. Haru blinked, his brows rising thoughtfully.

"And I kept it to myself, too," Makoto said. "I became a burden to you. I'm sorry."

Haru jumped at the unexpected apology and stared at Makoto in dismay.

"D-Don't talk like that…" Haru said, turning his head.

Makoto chuckled. "Sorry," he apologized cheerfully, and Haru scoffed at his apology. "I thought that I could do it by myself. But… I realized I couldn't. Kanade helped me realize that."

Haru turned his head back to Makoto, feeling his heart prick at the sound of her name escaping Makoto's lips so easily.

"She helped me realize that the ocean _can_ be scary. But… it can be peaceful, too. She helped me to see the beauty in it, and… she helped me to accept it."

Haru's eyes widened as Makoto turned around, his face bright and smile wide. His green eyes were shining brilliantly, full of life and excitement.

"I… I don't think I'm afraid anymore, Haru!"

Haru jumped at his words.

 _What…?_

* * *

"Hey, guys! The summer festival is tomorrow night," Nagisa chimed. "We should all go!"

The first-years had already gone home at this point, leaving just Gou, Rin, Kanade, Nagisa, Makoto, Rei, and Haru standing in front of Iwatobi High.

"Oh, you're right, Nagisa!" Makoto said with a smile. "We should go," he said, looking to Haru. Haru gave him a bored look.

"You'll come, too, Rin-san?" Rei asked as he adjusted his glasses.

"Eh, why not?" Rin said, putting his hands on his hips.

"We won't have to sneak around Rin-chan this year," Nagisa whispered to Rei.

"What was that?" Rin asked.

"Nothing!"

"Let's plan to meet up, then," Makoto said, interrupting Nagisa and Rin before it became too heated.

"Yay!" Nagisa cheered. "See you tomorrow, then!" Nagisa shouted as he and Rei parted from the rest.

"Haru, come over for dinner," Rin commanded, throwing an arm over his shoulder.

"Why?" Haru asked.

"What do you mean, why?" Rin growled. "Cause I asked!"

"You didn't ask."

"Just c'mon. Mom's asked about you," Rin said. "And… I think she's doing something with mackerel tonight."

It only took a second for Haru to turn around and face Makoto.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Haru said.

Makoto chuckled and gave him his signature smile. "See you!"

Once they part ways, Makoto led Kanade back to the Tachibana household for dinner. It was a great meal, in which Kanade helped the preparations once again while teasing Makoto about his inability to cook.

After dinner, Makoto invited Kanade to play some videogames with him in his room. Kanade happily agreed, and after a few rounds, Makoto flopped down on his bed and took off his glasses.

"Aw man! You beat me again!" Makoto whined.

Kanade chuckled and put the controller down, leaning her back against Makoto's bed. She stared up at the ceiling, her eyes a little tired. She waited a moment in silence, her mind racing back to Nagisa's comments earlier.

"I wonder if festivals are the same here," Kanade said thoughtfully.

Makoto perked up at her comment and he leaned up from his bed.

"Oh, the festival here is great!" Makoto said. He pushed himself off of his bed and sat down next to Kanade on the floor. "The vendors are all so nice and the food is amazing! Not to mention the fireworks."

"Ohh, I love fireworks!" Kanade said, perking up as well.

"Oh, then you'll _love_ these!" Makoto said. He lifted his hands up into the air in front of him. "They shoot them off near the ocean, and the colors reflect off of the water. It's so pretty! It's colorful, and mesmerizing… it's absolute bliss."

Kanade's eyes widened at Makoto, feeling her heart pound at his words. He was so passionate in that moment, and she could see the childlike wonder in his eyes. She smiled at him and put her hand up to her mouth to stifle a laugh. Makoto immediately turned towards her and his face turned red. He flailed his hands in front of him.

"A-Ah, I-I mean, w-well…" Makoto stuttered.

"Absolute bliss, huh?" Kanade repeated, her voice teasing. Makoto covered his face with his hands.

"I'm never speaking ever again," Makoto said behind his hands.

Kanade chuckled at him and glanced at him. She saw that the tips of his ears were burning red, and she giggled again. She scooted closer to him and gently grabbed his wrists.

"No, don't do that!" Kanade said with a teasing voice again. She pulled his hands from his face, revealing an embarrassed Makoto. "I like your voice," she said softly.

Kanade froze.

 _Wait… what did I just say?_

Makoto's eyes widened, his wrists burning from her touch. He felt his chest tighten as his heart pounded. Her eyes stared back into his, and he felt his lips part slowly. He leaned towards her slowly, and he watched her eyes close. He closed his eyes as well and moved closer, as if in perfect harmony, and…

"Onii-chan!"

A knock on the door made them jump. Both of their eyes flew open and Kanade fell backwards on her rear, letting go of Makoto's wrists. They stared at each other for a moment, both faces beet red.

"Can we come in? We want to play!"

Makoto blinked for a moment, staring at Kanade's embarrassed face. He cleared his throat and stood to his feet.

"Ah, uh, sure," Makoto answered as he reached for the door.

Just before he opened the door, he turned back to see Kanade fidgeting with her hair, avoiding eye contact. He felt heat rise to his cheeks once again, and he carefully opened the door.

 _Were… were we about to…?_ Makoto thought.

"Kanade-Onee-chan!" the twins both ran into Makoto's room and tackled Kanade to the ground, and she went down giggling.

"Ah, Ran! Ren!" Kanade greeted.

"We missed playing with you this week," Ren said.

"Yeah! Can you play with us!" Ran asked.

"Hey, what about me? Didn't you miss me?" Makoto whined, his face pulling into a playful pout.

Kanade giggled at his silly face, and she waved him off. "Aw, don't give that face, Makoto- _kun_!" Kanade teased. "Maybe they just missed me more." Kanade winked at him.

Makoto blinked for a moment and then smirked. He walked over to them and put his hands on his hips.

"Is that so, Kanade- _chan_?" Makoto teased back. "Well, we'll see who missed who more!"

Makoto grabbed both Ran and Ren and picked them both up over his shoulders. Ran and Ren kicked their legs and laughed.

"Let's go find a game to play!" Makoto told them.

Before he left the room, he turned around to give Kanade his signature smile. Kanade jumped, feeling her heart pang. She watched him leave the room, and once he was gone she fell onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. She felt her face heat up.

 _What was that all about?_

* * *

"Ready to go, Kanade?" Makoto asked.

Kanade stepped out of the guest room, clad in shorts and a white blouse. Her hair was down by her shoulders, and she fiddled with it, a frown on her face.

"What's wrong, Kanade?" Makoto asked, seeing her face. Kanade sighed.

"I was wanting to do something nice with my hair, but I don't really have anything," Kanade explained. Her cheeks were slightly as she spoke.

"I-I think you look nice," Makoto responded sheepishly. Kanade glanced up at him and smiled.

"Ah, thanks!" Kanade said.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, followed by an excited "Mako-chan! Kana-chan!" and "Nagisa-kun, don't shout!"

Kanade and Makoto chuckled and they rushed downstairs. After saying goodbye to Makoto's parents, they both put on their shoes and headed outside, where Nagisa, Rei, Haru, and Rin were all waiting. Nagisa and Rei were both wearing traditional men's yukatas.

"Ohh, you guys look nice!" Kanade complimented.

"Well, we certainly want to be traditional!" Rei said, adjusting his glasses. "I had to make sure I picked the most beautiful—"

"You don't have a yukata, Kana-chan?" Nagisa interrupted.

"A-Ah, no, I don't," Kanade admitted shyly. She rubbed the back of her head, a light blush painting her cheeks.

Makoto glanced at her, sensing her embarrassment. "W-Well, shall we go?" Makoto suggested.

"Yay! Candy apples, candy apples!" Nagisa chanted.

"Nagisa-kun, don't run!"

They all headed down towards the beach and towards the festivities. There were several people gathered near the stalls, some ladies wearing beautiful and elegant yukatas. Kanade could not help but stare at some of them curiously, her heart pricking with the tiniest bit of envy.

"Ah, what should we do first?" Makoto's voice snapped Kanade back to reality, and she turned her head back to face the group.

"Let's get candy apples!" Nagisa chirped.

"Nagisa-kun, those are really not good for you," Rei scolded.

"Oh, c'mon, Rei-chan!" Nagisa said, puffing out his cheeks. "Have some with me!"

"No! There is no beautiful way to eat those things!"

"Let's go, Rei-chan!" Nagisa said, pulling on Rei's wrist towards the nearby stall.

"Oi, Haru! Let's see who can win this game over here," Rin said with a smirk, his fingering pointing to a nearby stall.

Haru's eyes sparkled at the challenge. He quickly looked over his shoulder to Makoto, as if asking permission. Makoto only chuckled at him and waved him off.

"Always competing with everything," Makoto said, a big smile on his face.

Kanade peered up at his face, the lights from the stall making his skin look warm. His cheeks were slightly pink, and his smile was genuine and cheerful. She felt her lips curl up into a smile.

"Oh, Makoto-senpai!"

Both Makoto and Kanade turned around to see Gou standing behind them with her friend, Chigusa. They were both wearing yukatas, their hair braided and pulled back into intricate buns.

"Oh, Gou-chan!" Makoto greeted. He glanced at Chigusa and bowed his head a little. "Nice to see you again," he said. Chigusa merely nodded back with a smile on her face. "You both look nice," Makoto commented shyly. Kanade felt her eyes widen a little and she softly glanced up at Makoto.

"Ah, Tachibana-senpai! You're too nice," Chigusa giggled.

"Thank you, Makoto-senpai," Gou said. Gou glanced at Kanade and cocked her head. "Good evening, Kanade-chan!" Kanade snapped out of her daze to look Gou in the eye.

"Ah, hello, Gou-chan," Kanade said with a small smile. She glanced down and studied her tennis shoes, comparing them with the pretty sandals that Gou and her friend were wearing. She inwardly chided herself for not being able to buy a yukata.

Makoto, witnessing Kanade's strange behavior, turned to Gou and Chigusa and then back to her. He briefly grimaced, realizing Kanade's discomfort as she tried to shy herself away from the girls' glances. Makoto glanced around, seeing several stalls with nice prizes hung the walls. He thought for a moment, his thumb nervously rubbing circles into his finger. Then, it clicked, and he turned back to Gou and Chigusa, providing a small smile.

"Do you guys know of any games with good prizes?" Makoto asked, putting his hands on his hips. Kanade's eyes widened at Makoto's sudden interest in games, and she glanced up at him. Makoto discreetly motioned towards Kanade with his eyes and then back to Gou and Chigusa. They both smiled brightly, understanding his hidden motive.

"There was one particular stall that had a really pretty hair stick as a grand prize!" Chigusa said, her eyes sparkling. Makoto felt Kanade turn her head towards Chigusa, and he smiled.

"We tried the game, but it was too hard to win that one," Gou said.

"What game was it?" Makoto asked.

"Ring toss," Chigusa said with a sigh. "The hair stick is all the way in the middle in a box. How in the world are you supposed to get a _ring_ around a _box_?" Chigusa huffed and crossed her arms. "The only prizes we could win were candy."

Makoto smiled at her reaction, and he could hear Kanade giggle next to him. He locked eyes with Gou and put his hands on his hips.

"Where is this stall?" Makoto asked, feeling determined. Gou turned around and pointed back down the line of stalls.

"The last one on the right," Gou answered.

"Got it," Makoto answered, nodding at her. He glanced down at Kanade. "Shall we go try?" Makoto asked with his gentle smile and his head-tilt. Kanade's heart fluttered, but she found herself nodding at him.

They headed down the line of stalls until they made it to the last one on the side next to the goldfish-scooping booth. Makoto peered into the booth, watching as a few people were flinging rings towards the center. Just as Gou and Chigusa said, the hair stick was in a clear, plastic box in the very center. The hair stick had a white flower with shiny glass beads surrounding it. It looked fragile but very beautiful.

Makoto turned to look at Kanade, seeing her eyeing the prize. He pictured her hair up in a bun, the hair stick holding her black hair together. Makoto felt his smile widen at the thought of her wearing it, and he turned back towards the booth with a new sense of determination. He stepped up in line and watched the other couples giving their try at snagging the coveted prize.

Then, Nagisa and Rei waltzed up, Nagisa sporting a few treats that he had snagged along the way. Rei had bought a mask and it was resting on the side of his head. They greeted Gou and Chigusa, who were both standing next to the booth eyeing Makoto and Kanade.

"Wah, is Mako-chan gonna play this game?" Nagisa asked Gou.

"Ohh, mhm!" Gou responded. She leaned in to him and Rei and put up a hand to cover her mouth. "He's going to try to win her that hair stick in the middle," she whispered to them.

"Oh? A hair stick?" Rei said, adjusting his glasses.

"Ohh, for Kana-chan?!" Nagisa chirped, and Gou shushed him.

Rei peered through his red frames and gazed over the array of prizes. The outer prizes were mostly candy apples, rings easily snagging on the sticks. But as he looked more towards the center, the prizes became more and more difficult to win: some plush bears, toys, and finally the hair stick in the middle. The hair stick was resting delicately in a plastic box.

"It looks incredibly difficult to win that prize," Rei said, scrunching up his eyebrows. "How in the world can a ring fit around that box anyway? It seems impossible!"

"Maybe Mako-chan will get lucky!" Nagisa said.

"Shh!" Gou said, putting a finger up to her mouth.

Makoto stepped up to the booth and handed the tender some money. He handed Makoto five rings and wished him good luck. Kanade stood behind Makoto, her arm shyly crossed in front of her body to hold onto her other arm. She watched him carefully.

Makoto lifted the first ring and gave it a light toss. The ring bounced off a small plush toy and fell onto the ground. He frowned and picked up his second ring, trying to aim it more towards the center. He threw this ring a little harder, and it flew over the hair stick completely, falling to the ground with a thud. Makoto winced and rubbed the back of his head nervously before picking up his third ring.

He decided to try a little in between, and he threw the ring towards the center once again. This time, the ring hit the box that contained the hair stick and bounced off. The people standing by and watching all groaned with disappointment, and Makoto yelped, now seeing the small crowd he had gathered.

"You can do it, Mako-chan!" Nagisa cheered loudly.

"Go for it, Makoto-senpai!" Gou yelled.

Makoto turned his head to give them a tense smile, a pinch of red on his cheeks. He rubbed the back of his neck again, trying to steel his nerves. Being at the center of attention was never something he really enjoyed. But then he felt a hand touch his upper arm, and he turned his head to lock eyes with Kanade. She smiled brightly up at him and gave his arm a reassuring squeeze. Makoto's eyes widened, feeling the nerves vanish completely. He smiled back at her fondly.

* * *

"Oi, where did they all go?" Rin fussed, glancing around at all of the stalls. Haru lowered his brows at him, annoyed.

"You lost them," Haru blamed.

"Huh?! You're blaming _me_?" Rin snapped, whirling around to face Haru. "This is _your_ fault!"

"Your fault!"

" _Your_ fault!"

"Your fault!"

Rin was about to open his mouth to yell it again when he heard a familiar chirping voice in the distance.

"You can do it, Mako-chan!"

Rin and Haru both turned and stared down the stalls, seeing the short blond boy jumping up and down near the last booth. Rei stood next to him, along with Gou and her friend.

"Oh, there they are," Rin said.

"See? You weren't watching them," Haru commented, his face deadpanned as usual.

"Hah?!" Rin barked. "This is—" Rin stopped and clicked his tongue. "This whole argument is just like when we were in Australia," Rin said under his breath.

"What?" Haru asked, not hearing Rin.

"Nothing."

Rin led Haru towards the last stall, where they stood next to Rei and Nagisa. He leaned his arm on Rei's shoulder, making the latter jolt in surprise.

"What's going on?" Rin asked.

"A-Ah, Rin-san!" Rei started.

"Ohh, Rin-chan! Haru-chan! You're just in time!" Nagisa said.

"Just in time for what?" Haru asked.

Nagisa pointed at the booth in front of them, and Haru followed his finger. He saw Makoto at the front of the line, two rings left in his hand. The crowd around him was cheering him on, and Haru could see the tips of his ears turning red. Haru sighed, knowing he would have to rescue him out of this situation.

Haru took a step forward to go towards him, but he then saw a hand touch Makoto's bicep. His foot froze and he followed the hand, his eyes widening when he saw that it was attached to Kanade. He watched as Makoto glanced down at her, seeing her big smile. Haru felt his heart clench when he Makoto smile back at her, his shoulders relaxing and his ears losing their red color.

"Makoto-senpai intends to win the hair stick prize," Rei explained, adjusting his glasses.

"Hair stick?" Rin repeated. "For Shizumi?"

"Yep!" Nagisa answered. "It's a really hard prize to win, though," Nagisa said with a light chuckle.

Rin and Haru turned their eyes back towards the booth, watching as Makoto picked up another ring. Haru held his breath, both wanting Makoto to win and to lose at the time.

Makoto picked up his fourth ring and aimed carefully. He tossed it high and the ring fell down towards the hair stick but missed by an inch. It bounced off of a nearby plush and fell onto the ground. Makoto sighed as he glanced down at his last ring.

"Go, go, Mako-chan!" Nagisa cheered from behind.

Some other people started to clap around the booth as Makoto held onto the last ring. Rin snickered behind them, holding onto Haru's shoulder to prevent from falling onto the ground. Haru glared down at him, annoyingly trying to brush him off.

Makoto glanced down at his ring and gulped. Last chance to win something for Kanade. He felt another squeeze on his arm and he glanced down to meet a soft pair of blue eyes.

"No pressure," Kanade said with a kind smile. "Maybe go for one of the chocolates," Kanade said, her gaze lowering.

Makoto blinked at her, watching as her expression fell. He knitted his brows together and turned back towards the booth, closing his eyes and saying a short prayer on the ring. He opened his eyes and stared at the clear box holding the precious hair stick.

 _C'mon… You can do this!_ Makoto told himself.

Makoto leaned forward slightly and then tossed the ring into the air. It soared above the other prizes and was headed straight down for the hair stick. His eyes widened. Was it really going to…?

The ring bounced on top of the box and flew back into the air, and Makoto felt his heart sink. It was going to miss, wasn't it? Makoto hung his head, feeling a little disappointed.

But then, he felt the sleeve of his t-shirt being tugged on. He glanced down to his side and saw Kanade staring intensely at the booth, her eyes wide. Makoto furrowed his brows and quickly turned back to look.

The ring flipped a few times in the air before descending back down on top of the box, sliding around the box perfectly.

There was a moment of silence, and then everyone around the booth started to cheer. Makoto blinked a few times and then rubbed his eyes.

"I… won?" Makoto mumbled.

"Wow, that was incredible!" the vendor said, pulling the box from the center. He carried to carefully over to Makoto and handed him the prize. "Congratulations!"

Makoto smiled at the vendor and bowed a little. He turned around and was quickly surrounded by his friends. Nagisa, of course, ran up and clung onto Makoto's neck.

"I knew you could do it, Mako-chan!" Nagisa said.

"That was impressive, Makoto-senpai!" Gou said.

Makoto rubbed the back of his neck nervously again and chuckled, trying to wave off the situation.

"I just got lucky," Makoto said.

"So," Rin started, a cheeky grin forming on his face. "What are you going to do with your prize?"

Makoto's face immediately flushed as his head shot towards Kanade, who was staring at some girls wearing yukatas. Makoto gulped and scratched his head, his lips curling upward into a nervous smile. He stepped towards her, and she cocked her head when she saw him coming.

"Ah, Kanade," Makoto started. "I want you to have this." Makoto handed her the hair stick, and her eyes widened.

"What?" Kanade said. "N-No way! I can't take this!" Kanade said, her face flushing a little. But Makoto simply smiled at her with his signature head-tilt.

"I wanted to win it for you," Makoto explained. "Really. I want you to have it."

Kanade blinked at him a few times before glancing down at the hair stick. The white flower at the top was stunning, with the lights reflecting off of the glass beads. It was a gorgeous gift.

Kanade felt her chest tighten. She had never owned something like this before.

"Thanks, Makoto," Kanade said gently. She lifted her head up to him and smiled cheerfully at him. Makoto felt his heart clench at the sight and he nodded, rubbing the back of his neck again.

"C'mon, Kanade-chan!" Gou said, tugging on her arm. Kanade glanced at her, snapping her out of her gaze at Makoto.

"Huh?"

"Let's go put it on!" Gou said, grabbing Kanade's arm and leading her to a restroom.

"W-Wait!" Kanade shouted.

"A-Ah, Kanade!" Makoto shouted and reached out his hand, but it was in vain. Gou and Chigusa had already dragged her to the restroom nearby, and Makoto chuckled lightly.

"Nice work, Makoto!" Rin said, slapping Makoto's shoulder. Makoto jumped in surprise at the contact, but he quickly straightened.

"Kana-chan seemed really happy," Nagisa commented, his magenta eyes sparkling. "Good job at cheering her up, Mako-chan!"

Makoto's smile vanished. "Cheering her up?" he asked.

"She seemed a little… distracted this evening," Rei mentioned as he adjusted his glasses.

"Oh, mmn," Makoto hummed. He watched a few ladies wearing nice yukatas walk past them. "Kanade's never really owned a yukata or anything fancy like that, so… I think she was feeling a little left out," Makoto explained.

"Ooh!" Nagisa beamed. "That's why you wanted to win that!"

"Ah, yeah," Makoto stuttered shyly.

"Saint Makoto, always doing things for others," Rin said, putting his hands on his hips.

"Aw, Rin, I was just—"

"We're back!"

Makoto heard Gou's voice from behind, and he turned around to see her and Chigusa approaching, with Kanade right behind. Gou stepped out of the way and pushed Kanade forward towards Makoto, her feet coming to a halt in front of him.

Makoto felt his breath hitch in his chest.

Kanade's hair had been pulled back into a beautiful updo, with a few braids here and there. Her bangs were beautifully swept to the side and out of her face, with a few stray strands resting on her cheeks. The lights from the booths caught on the hair stick, making it glow and sparkle in her hair.

Makoto felt like he could not breathe.

 _She's… beautiful._


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

* * *

"W-Wow," Makoto stuttered as he glanced at Kanade. "You… you look…"

"Whoa, Gou-chan, you're a genius!" Nagisa said as he inspected Kanade's hair. "Where did you learn to do this?"

"Well, I'm not _just_ a great manager, you know!" Gou said as she proudly put her hands on her hips.

"You look quite lovely, Shizumi-san," Rei commented with a gentle smile, adjusting his glasses.

Kanade blushed and stared at the ground, her fingers fidgeting nervously. Her cheeks were reddened and she was biting her bottom lip, avoiding all of the stares. Makoto took a deep breath and walked up to her, a blush also tingling on his face.

"You look really nice, Kanade," Makoto said with a low voice.

Kanade raised her head to look up at him, and she felt her heart jump. His eyes were kind and his smile was gentle. He lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck, but his face did not falter. Kanade suddenly felt her nervousness lift from her body as she locked eyes with Makoto.

"Thanks, Makoto!" Kanade said cheerfully, flashing him a huge smile, and Makoto shyly chuckled back at her.

Behind them stood Haru and Rin, Haru's jaw locked tightly as he ground his teeth together. He watched Makoto and Kanade talk together about trying some other games, and he felt his blood turn hot in his veins.

"That was nice of Makoto," Rin suddenly said. Haru slightly turned his head to glare at Rin, and Rin raised a brow at him. "What's your problem?"

"Nothing," Haru responded, turning his head away again.

The group had started to walk down the path again and Haru took a step to follow, but his arm was snagged and he was pulled back suddenly.

"Don't tell me you still haven't talked to Makoto about Shizumi?" Rin asked with a raised brow.

Haru blinked at him a few times before tilting his head down to stare at the ground. He heard Rin scoff and he felt his grip around his arm around tighten.

"Seriously?!" Rin shouted. "What's with you and talking to people? It's _just_ Makoto. For crying out loud, he helped you out of the tub every morning."

"It's not that simple," Haru muttered.

"Why not?" Rin asked, letting go of Haru's arm.

"I'm scared of Makoto getting hurt…" Haru said.

"You've said that already," Rin said, putting his hands on his hips.

"…By me," Haru continued.

Rin paused, bringing a hand up to run his fingers through his red locks.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Haru's brows creased. "Last year, when we fought, I said some things to Makoto… really hurtful things." Haru paused, trying not to let the memory resurface. "I just don't want that to happen again."

"Then don't let it happen," Rin said. He raised his arms to rest behind his head as he stared up at the sky. Haru turned to look at him, curiosity shimmering in his eyes. "Just bring it up. Peacefully. Don't let your hatred—God only knows why—for Shizumi get in the way."

Rin's comment left Haru feeling as if he was just burned.

"I don't... hate her," Haru mumbled.

"Keep telling yourself that," Rin sneered. "I bet Makoto can even see that you don't like her."

Haru whipped his head to look at Rin, horrified. He had worked so hard to keep his emotions under control. Had Makoto really noticed? He curled his fingers into painful fists, his nails digging into his palms.

"I just… don't want…" Haru fumbled, unsure of the words. His voice faded and blended into the crowd, his sentence remaining broken.

Rin sighed and took a step forward. "C'mon, we're falling behind."

After a few more games –plus several more sweets for Nagisa– Gou and Chigusa said their goodbyes, leaving the rest of the group to settle down near the beach. The fireworks would start relatively soon, so the group decided to rest and grab a good spot.

Makoto anxiously eyed the ocean, ready for the fireworks to start. He remembered that embarrassing conversation he had with Kanade about them the other night, and he shook his head with a shy smile. He glanced around the beach and his eyes landed on the familiar staircase that led to an overlook, the overlook that he had stood on several times before.

Suddenly, an idea came to his mind, and he turned his head to look down at Kanade. He smiled brightly at her.

"C'mon, I want to show you the view from up there," Makoto said, pointing to a flight of stairs.

Haru shivered, remembering what happened up those stairs last year. He cut a glance at Makoto and then Kanade. Her eyes widened in excitement at the suggestion, and her white flower hair stick sparkled in the moonlight.

"Great! Let's go!" Kanade said. "You guys coming?" Kanade asked, turning towards the rest of the group.

Haru was about to sullenly turn down the offer when Rin spoke up.

"Haru said he'll go, but the rest of us will stay here and save our spot," Rin said. Haru whirled around and glared at Rin.

"Ah, good idea, Rin!" Makoto said. He glanced down at Kanade and Haru and smiled. "Ready?"

"Let's go!" Kanade said, putting her hand into the air.

She and Makoto started to walk off towards the staircase, but Haru stayed put, his glare still burning a hole through Rin's skull. But Rin motioned Haru to go and follow them, giving him a cheeky smile.

Haru sighed in defeat, reluctantly following them up the stairs and onto the overlook. Makoto led them to the railings and Kanade's face lit up at the sight, a huge smile appearing on her face.

"This is beautiful!" Kanade exclaimed.

"I thought you'd like it," Makoto said. He flashed his signature smile and head tilt, looking down fondly at Kanade's face.

Haru watched as Makoto stared dreamily at Kanade, and he felt his gut twist painfully.

 _She's a liar,_ Haru thought. _She's hiding something that will hurt you._

"Brings back memories, huh, Haru?" Makoto suddenly asked.

Haru jumped and looked up at Makoto. Makoto was wearing a small smile, his eyes fixed on the ocean as his arms leaned against the railing. Haru swallowed hard at his words. Images of that night popped up in his head.

 _"Wait."_

 _"Let go!"_

 _"Listen to me!"_

Haru stared up at Makoto, hearing his best friend's voice from the past ringing in his ears. He was still leaning on the railings next to Kanade, his eyes cast towards the ocean. Haru blinked a few times before turning his gaze out to the ocean, trying to block out the sound of his own voice. But, that conversation still haunted his memory.

 _"No matter how many times I listen, it's the same! You can't find a dream just by looking for one! I'm fine with the way things are!"_

 _"You're lying! The truth is, you want to find a dream, too! And you should find that dream! You have the ability to do that!"_

 _"Even you're talking like this?! Where I swim and who I swim for…I'm free to decide that for myself! And I'm saying I'm fine with the way things are!"_

 _"But you're not fine!"_

Haru felt his heart clench in his chest, remembering Makoto's shrill voice cracking as he yelled. Makoto never used to raise his voice.

 _"You're not fine! That's why we're all telling you this! Nagisa and Rei and Rin…And me… It's because we all love you. Because we care about you. Why can't you understand that?!"_

Haru's hand gripped the railing. His knuckles started to turn white. He tried to talk to his past self, begging his memory to change.

Don't push him. Don't shove him away.

 _"All you ever do is meddle with everyone!"_

Haru winced, his hand by his side clenching into a tight fist. He pleaded with his past self.

No more. Don't say any more.

 _"Stop sticking your nose in everyone else's business!"_

Haru remembered the look on Makoto's face after he pushed him back a few feet and shouted those words. Makoto's mouth hung open, and his eyes quivered pitifully. Haru had felt so bothered at the time that he did not care about the other's feelings. He wanted to prove a point. He wanted nothing to change, and yet everyone was forcing him to change.

 _"A dream? A future? Well what about yours? Don't decide other people's futures when you haven't even decided your own!"_

Haru remembered Makoto just staring back at him.

 _"Well, say something."_

Makoto had let go of Haru's hand. Haru remembered how painful it was to have Makoto let go. Something about that action in itself made Haru feel completely alone.

 _"I_ have _decided. I'm… going to a university in Tokyo."_

Haru remembered those fireworks. Those damned fireworks.

 _"I meant to tell you sooner, but I couldn't bring myself to do it."_

Haru shuddered and shut his eyes tight.

Don't. Don't run away.

 _"I—"_

Don't say it.

 _"Do whatever you want!"_

His own words echoed in his mind as the picture faded from his imagination. Haru slowly opened his eyes and stared sadly out at the ocean. He's replayed the conversation multiple times in his head, trying to decipher when things went south. But, the constant reruns in his head never helped.

Why did he say all those things?

"Whew!"

Kanade's silvery voice cut through Haru's thoughts like a hot knife, springing him back to reality.

"Wow, I'm thirsty now," Kanade said, leaning lazily on the railings. Makoto chuckled at her, his sweet voice chiming through the air.

"I'll go and get some drinks for us," Makoto said, and he turned towards the staircase to leave.

"O-Oh, I can go do that!" Kanade said, whipping her head up from the railings. She took a step towards him, but Makoto waved his hand and smiled at her.

"No, no, I'll go!" Makoto insisted. "I'll be right back, okay?"

"A-Ah, sure!" Kanade waved him off and watched him descend the stairs. She nervously turned back and leaned on the railings. She turned her head towards Haru and gave him a sheepish smile. "I guess it's just us…" she said quietly.

Haru turned his gaze out to the ocean as well and kept his hands rested at his sides.

"Yeah," he said.

"Ah, so…" Kanade fumbled. "You're going to try out for the Olympics, right?" Kanade asked.

"Yeah."

"That's pretty cool. I-I am, too," Kanade said. "Makoto said he's pretty excited about it. He said he wants to be able to watch us both, heh."

Haru slowly turned his head to look at her as she spoke, his brows lowering.

"I know you'll probably get in. You're incredible!" Kanade complimented. "I'll have to work real hard to get that spot on the national team. I'm not sure if I can make it." Kanade rubbed the back of her head and chuckled nervously.

Haru felt his hands clench into frustrated fists.

"Makoto told me not to worry, though. He said you'd for sure get in, and said I shouldn't have much of a problem," Kanade said. She reached up and touched the white flower hair stick in her hair and smiled. "He's so kind, you're so lucky to have known him for so long!"

Haru glared at her, his patience gone.

Kanade chuckled again. "It's so nice out tonight, too. I bet—"

"I know what you're hiding."

Silence.

The words hit Kanade like a silver bullet, stunning her into a frozen stance. She stiffened and then leaned up from the railings. After another quiet moment, she looked at Haru with concerned eyes.

"W…What?" Kanade muttered, her voice quaking.

Haru glared harder at her. "I know what you're hiding. And if Makoto finds out, he's going to be upset. I don't want him to get hurt."

Kanade's eyebrows knitted together nervously. Her chest felt extremely tight. Every breath she inhaled had started to become painful and strained. "...You know?"

"Yes."

Kanade stared at the ground, her hand gripping the railing. She bit her lip, her shoulders shaking slightly. Did… Gou tell him? How did he figure it out?

"Are you going to tell him?" She asked. "Are you going to tell Makoto?"

"If you keep hanging around him, I might. You're just going to hurt him if you keep hanging out with him."

"Hurt him? I haven't—"

"You already hurt him when you decided to tackle that guy in the restaurant."

"But... that was an accident. Makoto said it—"

"It was your fault! If you hadn't attacked that guy, then he wouldn't have had to get stitches in his arm. If you had shown up on time, you could have avoided the whole situation. You're reckless. If you keep hanging out with Makoto, he's going to get hurt."

Kanade paused, taking in Haru's words. The last thing she wanted was to hurt Makoto. She swallowed hard and her brows pinched together nervously.

"I don't want to hurt him, Nanase," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Then do us both a favor and leave him alone." Haru faced the ocean, leaning on the bars. "He doesn't need someone like you."

Haru continued to stare at the ocean, waiting for a rebuttal. But when no response came, Haru turned his head to look at her. A sharp pain sprung in his chest as he stared at her face.

Her eyes were wide and her lips slightly parted. Glistening tears were pouring down her cheeks as she stared at him, a look of shock on her face. Haru leaned up from the railing and faced her, his brows raised just slightly.

"Um..."

Damn, why wasn't Makoto here? Wait, no, if Makoto was here, then he would get upset at him for hurting Kanade. Why couldn't he just keep his mouth sh—

"Hey, I'm back!"

Both Kanade and Haru jumped at the sound of Makoto's voice from the stairs. Kanade quickly wiped her eyes with her hands and faced back to the ocean. She leaned against the railing and hung her head in an attempt to hide her red face. Haru relaxed his face and shoulders as Makoto approached them. He walked past an unresponsive Kanade and handed a water to Haru first.

"Rin, Nagisa, and Rei are waiting down at the beach," he said with a smile on his face.

Haru simply nodded, eyeing Kanade from the side. Makoto noticed his gaze and turned towards Kanade, who was still staring out at the ocean. She was quiet. Makoto looked back at Haru, a worried look replacing his happy smile.

"Is… everything okay?" Makoto asked the both of them.

Haru opened his mouth to speak. "Uh—"

"Yep!" Kanade interrupted. Makoto and Haru quickly glanced at her as she straightened and turned towards them. A small smile was on her lips, but Makoto noticed that it did not quite reach her glazed eyes.

Makoto stole a glance at Haru, his eyes questioning him before he turned to Kanade with a worried smile. "Here you go," Makoto said as he handed her a bottle of water.

"Ah, thanks for the water, Makoto. I'll be sure to pay you back!"

"D-Don't worry about it," Makoto stuttered. He glanced at Haru. "So... are we ready to go to the beach?"

Haru nodded and Makoto turned to Kanade with his gentle smile.

"Let's go!" he said, and he started to walk towards the steps, with Haru following.

Kanade stood in place for a second, letting them pass. She hesitated, feeling chills shoot down her spine as Haru brushed past her. She took a deep breath, biting her lip before whirling around to face them.

"Actually, Makoto!" She called. Makoto and Haru stopped and turned around, a concerned look appearing on Makoto's face while Haru tried to remain deadpan. "I'm feeling a little tired. I think I'm just gonna head back." Kanade fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, creating new wrinkles. She forced a smile on her reddened face.

Makoto hesitated, his brows lowering. "Are you sure?" He asked her.

Kanade lowered her gaze away from his green eyes to stare at the ground near his feet. "Mm," she hummed, making sure she maintained her smile. "I'll go on ahead. See you later, Makoto, Nanase!"

Kanade walked briskly past them both and headed towards the steps.

"W-Wait, Kanade!" Makoto called, but she was already down the steps in a flash. Makoto paused, glancing at Haru. "Are you sure everything's fine? She didn't say anything to you?"

Kanade's hurt, crying face resurfaced in Haru's mind, making him flinch slightly. He tried to keep his face still.

"Not really," Haru replied, avoiding Makoto's gaze.

Makoto hesitated, his eyes wandering to the beach. "Well, I guess it's been a long day, so maybe she really was just tired."

Haru peered at Makoto's face as they began to descend the staircase down to the beach. He could see that his smile was forced and worry plagued his mind. Haru looked away, guilt gnawing at his insides. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to break the silence.

"Do you like her?" Haru asked. Makoto turned his head back to Haru, his face red.

"E-Ehh?!" Makoto yelped, his response jittery. "I, w-well…" Makoto scratched his cheek nervously. "I… I think I do, Haru." Haru stopped walking at his response, his foot landing down on another step on the staircase. His pause forced Makoto to take one more step before he turned to look up at him from a step below. "She's really incredible. She's helped me out in so many ways." Makoto glanced out at the ocean, his eyes gazing fondly over the peaceful waves. "I… I don't know what I would do without her."

"Makoto…" Haru whispered. Makoto gazed back at Haru, his blush reddening on his cheeks.

"A-Ah, sorry, Haru," Makoto said. "That was kind of sappy of me to say." Makoto turned back to walk down the stairs, Haru watching him from his step.

Haru wanted to follow, but stayed put, watching Makoto's back. This was his last chance to talk to Makoto. No matter how happy he was, he did not want to see him get his hopes up just for his heart to get broken later.

"M-Makoto!" Haru called, his voice shaky. Makoto stopped and turned around, his eyes full of curiosity. Haru hesitated, staring at him. His words were on the tip of his tongue, ready to spill.

Makoto took a few steps back up to meet Haru. "What is it?" he asked as he ascended.

Haru took a deep breath. "I—"

Suddenly, a burst of fireworks sprang up from the ground and burst into the sky with a loud bang. Both Haru and Makoto glanced up to watch it, the light briefly reflecting off their faces before fading back into darkness. Another firework lit up the sky, and Haru glanced over to Makoto. His heart jumped. Makoto was smiling fondly up at the fireworks, his eyes sparkling in a way he'd never seen before.

"Man, I wish Kanade could see this," Makoto said quietly. "I told her that fireworks over the ocean were something you had to see. She would love the colors, especially how it reflects over the water." Makoto paused, bringing a hand up to rub his neck. "I think I told her something stupid, like it was absolute bliss or something. Hehe, that sounds really sappy now!"

Makoto chuckled, his cheeks turning red from his sentence. Haru stared at Makoto's goofy smile, obviously still flustered from talking about Kanade. When Haru saw that his smile reached his eyes in a way he'd never seen before, his breath hitched in his chest, and his voice was lost to the wind.

"What was it you wanted to say, Haru?" Makoto asked, now looking back at him.

Haru hesitated, letting another firework go off before he spoke. "Nothing," Haru said. "Never mind." Haru descended the staircase, gently brushing past Makoto. Makoto raised a brow at him, but smiled, following next to him.

"Oi, Haru-chan! Mako-chan!"

A bouncing Nagisa was waving his arms frantically at the last step, motioning for them to come down. Makoto called back out to him happily and waved at him.

They reached the others at the beach, the fireworks still going off one by one. Haru stood next to Rin while Nagisa and Rei stood next to each other. Makoto stood next to Nagisa, his hands in his pockets and his eyes glued to the sky. He kept that same goofy grin on his face. Haru kept glancing over at him, gauging his body language and emotions. When that giddy smile did not leave his lips, Haru looked away, his eyes looking at the sand. Rin noticed Haru's side glances and he turned his head towards him.

"You talk to Makoto?" Rin asked. Haru's brows lowered and he remained silent.

"No," Haru answered quietly.

"Eh?" Rin asked, raising a brow. "Why the hell not? I gave you so many opportunities!"

"I already told you, it's not that simple," Haru said, turning his head to the side, away from Rin. "Besides… I kinda told Shizumi off."

Rin raised a brow. "Told her off?" Rin asked. "What did you say?"

"I told her to leave Makoto alone," Haru responded. "If she keeps hanging out with him, then he could get hurt."

"Geez, Haru," Rin said, shaking his head. "You're acting so weird about him."

"Weird?" Haru repeated, his eyes still concentrating on the sand.

"Yeah," Rin said.

There was a small moment of silence that flowed between them, the fireworks the only sound that rattled around them. Then, Rin glanced at Haru and then smirked, throwing an arm around Haru's neck.

"You know what? You sound jealous," Rin said with a buttery voice.

Haru glanced at him, a slight look of shock on his face. "Jealous?"

Rin rolled his eyes and snorted. "We both know those rumors are bogus. Shizumi isn't like that, and I've only known her a week. You only _want_ the rumors to be true," Rin said. Haru could only stare at him, his brows rising. "You're scared."

"Scared?" Haru repeated. Rin gave him a fond smile.

"You're scared of Makoto leaving you," Rin said plainly. "Of him replacing you with her."

Haru lowered his eyes, letting Rin's words sink in. Is that what was wrong? Is that why he did not want Makoto near her? Is that what these unsettling and unfamiliar feelings were? More heavy guilt rested on his shoulders, Rin's arm suddenly feeling twice as heavy around his neck.

"I'm right, aren't I?" Rin asked, his smirk fading into a pout. Haru's brows lowered in frustration as he turned his head to glare at the ground. Rin chuckled softly at his reaction. "You know Makoto wouldn't do that, even if he does get married and has his own life. You would still be a part of his life, he would make sure of that." Rin paused, watching Haru's face soften under the glow of the fireworks. "Just talk to her. Apologize for whatever you did."

"Tch," Haru clicked his tongue and looked away.

"Boy, he looks lovesick over there," Rin said quietly. Haru took another glance at Makoto, his eyes sparkling under the lights of the fireworks. "He must really like this girl."

Haru pursed his lips. "Yeah."

* * *

Kanade trudged up the street, her eyes glued to the asphalt. She had been so foolish, thinking that she could stay close to Makoto. It hurt to think that he could leave, or even hate her. She sighed, her shoe kicking a rock. She watched it bounce off the sidewalk and down the hill. She turned her gaze towards the ocean and then she stopped. She glanced around, seeing the dark roads fork into two different directions.

 _Wait… which way was Makoto's house again?_

Kanade felt panic rise in her chest and she put her hands to her head. _Oh no! How could I be so stupid? I don't remember how to get to his house!_ Kanade walked back down the road. _I'll just head back to the beach. I wonder if there's a shortcut?_

Kanade was about to walk back down the way she came when she saw a stone staircase that cut into the hillside. It was a long staircase that had several landings in between. The staircase seemed to lead towards the beach. Kanade took a deep breath and rushed down the stone steps. She pulled her cell phone out and flipped it open, searching her contacts for Makoto's name.

She rushed down a few more steps.

Kanade reached Makoto's name and clicked the contact open, reading the number to herself a few times before putting her thumb over the send button.

Another few steps until the landing.

She was about to hit the send button when she lost her footing. She stumbled forward and hit the landing hard, her knees hitting the stone with force. Her elbows and her knees stung from the impact. She felt something snap under her hand as her palms hit the pavement, and she heard something clink in the distance. She slowly leaned up from the pavement and looked under her hand. Her eyes widened when she saw that her cell phone had snapped in half at its hinges, leaving the screen black and the buttons dim. She sighed as she sat up, and she felt her hair flowing by her shoulders. She gasped when her hand combed through her loose hair and she glanced around.

 _Where is it, where is it?_

Kanade scrambled, looking around for Makoto's present. She squinted her eyes, trying to see in the pitch darkness. Suddenly, her foot stepped on something, and she felt it collapse under her weight. She froze. She glanced down and moved her foot. She gasped when she saw the hair stick lying on the ground, broken. The stick had snapped in half, and a chunk of the white, crystal flower at the top had fallen off. Kanade gingerly picked it up, cradling the pieces in her hands. She felt something wet fall down her cheeks. She reached one finger to her cheek and she looked at her hand. She was starting to cry.

Kanade squeezed the hair stick in her hand and pulled it close to her chest, feeling that this was a sign of things to come. Her shoulders convulsed under her sobs, not bothering to wipe her tears.

Suddenly, a loud boom across the sky startled her out of her sobs. Kanade glanced up and saw that the first of the fireworks had started. She looked out towards the ocean, admiring the pretty colors. She felt her heart jump when a second firework lit up the sky, and the colorful lights reflected off of the ocean like a mirror. Her eyes widened at the sight.

 _Oh, Makoto was right,_ Kanade thought. _This was absolute bliss._

* * *

Once the fireworks were done, Rin, Nagisa, and Rei parted ways with Makoto and Haru. Makoto gave them a friendly wave and turned, heading home. Rin looked at Haru made a shooing motion with his hands, prompting a scowl from Haru. Haru turned and followed Makoto.

Makoto kept chatting about how nice the fireworks were or how nice it was to see Rin again. Haru would simply reply with quiet hums.

Haru paused, trying to gather his thoughts. How should he apologize? The guilt was aggravating his bones, and Haru thought he was going to go crazy. They ascended the stone steps up to their houses, making the turn towards Makoto's home. Haru felt his chest constrict, seeing the time alone together running out. He reached his hand forward and grabbed Makoto's wrist.

"Makoto," he called. Makoto turned to face him, his eyes filled with curiosity and apprehension.

"Haru, what's wrong?" Makoto asked, his expression dropping with worry.

Haru took a deep breath. "I…" The door to the Tachibana house opened, and Mrs. Tachibana walked out, cutting Haru off.

"Oh, Makoto! There you are. I was just about to call you and—" Mrs. Tachibana abruptly stopped talking and stared at him and Haru. "Where's Kanade-chan?" she asked.

Haru's eyes widened, and he felt his breath hitch in his chest.

Makoto's knitted together in worry. "She's not here?" Makoto asked.

His mother shook her head. "No, I figured she would have come home with you."

Makoto shot Haru a worried glance and then turned on his heels. He ran towards the gate. "I'll go find her, I'll be back when I can!" Makoto started to rush down the stone steps.

"W-Wait!" Haru called, rushing after him. "I'm going with you."

Makoto nodded.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

* * *

Kanade sat on the cold, stone step that led down to the beach. The fireworks had ended at this point, the lights from the beach darkening. The sky was a little cloudy, making it really dark out. She stared down at the landing and wiped her face. A cold wind breezed by and Kanade closed her eyes and gripped her arms.

When the wind passed, she opened her eyes. Her eyes widened when she saw light shining on her shoes. She glanced up and her heart jumped. There was a full moon in the sky tonight, its bright light touching everything, even reflecting off of the black waves of the ocean.

 _It's so pretty here_ , Kanade thought. She could not help but smile, knowing this was Makoto's home. She kept staring at the sky, trying to count the endless stars that shone in the black sky.

* * *

 _"The number you are trying to reach is unavailable at this time. Please try again later."_

Makoto snapped his phone shut and ran down the street, Haru barely keeping up with him. He turned down a curved roadway and glanced over the hill towards the beach.

"Makoto! W-Wait!" Haru called. Makoto stopped in his tracks, almost falling over. Haru caught up to him and rested his hands on his knees. "W-We need to think of where she would go."

"But she's not from here, Haru!" Makoto said. "She doesn't know her way around!"

"Maybe she went back to the beach?" Haru asked, straightening.

Makoto looked out towards the beach, noticing the pathway that led to some stone steps. He glanced back at Haru and nodded, surging forward the sprint down to the stone steps. Haru sighed and followed after him.

"Makoto, don't run!" Haru yelled. "Just, just wait!"

Makoto was about to run down more steps when he froze. He saw someone sitting on a step near a landing about halfway down the stairs. When Haru finally caught up with him, he followed his gaze down the steps and saw a figure sitting on one of the steps. She had black hair that flowed around her shoulders.

"Kanade!" Makoto yelled from the top step. He started rushing down the steps. Haru reached out his hand to Makoto, trying to get him to slow down.

Kanade jumped at the sound of her name and she turned her torso around. Her eyes widened when she saw Makoto running towards her. Her eyes followed him in disbelief, wondering if Makoto was just a hallucination. He skidded to a halt in front of her and knelt down to her.

"Kanade, are you okay?" Makoto asked frantically. Then, he noticed her knees. "Kanade, you're bleeding!"

Kanade glanced down at her legs and noticed a blood trail running down from her knees and staining her socks.

"Uwah! I didn't even notice!" Kanade said, trying for a cheerful voice. As she spoke, Makoto pulled out a tissue from his pocket and started to dab her cuts. "I kinda took a spill on the steps." She raised her hands to show scrapes alongside her forearms. "I wasn't watching where I was going at all. I tripped over my own feet! Isn't that ridiculous?"

Kanade forced out a laugh, trying to lighten the situation, but Makoto reached for her hand and gently grabbed it. She softly gasped at his sudden touch, her smile quickly fading. He lifted her hand to see her forearm, and he gently started to dab the blood from there, too. She was amazed at how gentle he was, and she stared at his face. He wore a worried expression, almost pained.

 _No_ , Kanade thought. _I like your smile. Don't have that face._

"What happened? I tried calling you," Makoto said softly. Kanade snapped out of her thoughts and put on a small smile. She pulled out her broken cell phone and showed it to him. Makoto's eyes widened once he saw the phone in pieces.

"When I fell, I kinda landed on my cell phone," Kanade said. "Looks like I'm in the market for a new one, huh?" Kanade forced out another laugh.

Kanade heard footsteps behind her and she turned her head. Her eyes widened when she saw Haru standing behind her. She gave him a fearful look and cowered underneath his gaze. She turned her head back to Makoto, sheepishly putting on another smile. She tried to ignore the tingles crawling up her neck as her hair stood on their ends. She could almost feel Haru's cold gaze cutting through her like ice.

Kanade took a deep breath and stared back at Makoto, trying to shake her nerves. He was holding the pieces of her phone in his hands.

"Wow, you must have fallen pretty hard," Makoto said. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Kanade waved her hand and smiled. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine! I couldn't remember how to get back to your place, so I was going to head back to the beach to find you. And that's when I fell."

"Ouch," Makoto said, his face wincing.

"It's fine! I'm pretty clumsy so it's no big deal," Kanade said with a laugh. "I'm pretty solid… remember?"

Makoto smiled at that. He felt some worry leave his shoulders. He glanced at her eyes, the moonlight reflecting off of her pretty face. He blushed slightly, staring into her eyes, when he saw a piece of her hair fall into her face. He gently reached up and pushed the hair behind her ear. Then, he frowned, glancing at her hair.

"What happened to your hair stick?" Makoto asked.

Kanade froze, her smile quickly fading from her face. Everything that Haru had said earlier leading up to when she fell resurfaced in a huge wave, crashing down on her heart in one heap. She could feel Haru's shadow looming over her as she tried to speak, fearing that he would speak his mind before she could get a word out.

When Kanade tried to speak, a lump lodged in her throat and her voice came out choked. She tried to hold back the tears, but they flooded her eyes and spilled out down her cheeks. Makoto's eyes widened and his jaw dropped as he watched the tears slide down her cheeks, meet at her chin, and fall into her lap. Her shaking hands pulled the stick from her lap and she held it out to Makoto.

"I… I…" Kanade started hiccupping. "I-It b-broke… I'm so sorry." Kanade lowered her head, hiding her crying face from him. Her shoulders convulsed under sobs.

"K-Kanade…" Makoto whispered, baffled by her sudden tears.

Haru squinted his eyes into pained slits and he looked away. He remembered seeing her crying face from earlier and how pained it looked. And Haru realized the real meaning behind her tears now.

She wasn't just crying over a broken hair stick.

Makoto glanced down at her extended hands that held the hair stick pieces. He lifted his hand and gently grabbed her shoulder. She snapped her head up, surprised again by his touch. She was met with a kind smile. _The_ smile.

"It's okay, Kanade," Makoto said. "Maybe we can fix it. Or we can go out and get a new one?"

Kanade stared at him, suddenly feeling so warm inside. She smiled at him, and wiped her tears with the back of her hand. She nodded at him, putting on a big smile.

"All right, then. Let's go home," Makoto said, standing to his feet. He put his hand out for Kanade to grab.

Haru felt his heart jump as he watched Kanade grab Makoto's extended hand. He remembered when they swam together, how Makoto would always be right there to help him out of the pool. He watched Makoto pull Kanade up and she turned around, facing Haru. She glanced up at him, and her smile vanished, her eyes sheepishly looking away. Makoto walked past her and towards Haru, not noticing her face.

"Ready, Haru?" Makoto asked, and Haru nodded.

The three walked back up the steps and back towards the Tachibana household. Makoto and Haru walked next to each other while Kanade quietly trailed behind them. Makoto chatted to Haru about little things, obviously feeling better about finding Kanade. Haru kept glancing back at Kanade, who avoided all contact all together. Once they reached the house, Mrs. Tachibana gasped at Kanade's cuts and the twins fussed over her, but Kanade insisted she would take care of them. Kanade slipped into the bathroom for a bit, coming out with fresh band-aids on her forearms and knees. She proudly displayed her band-aids to the twins and gave them a reassuring smile. Then she faced Makoto and Haru.

Once they reached the house, Mrs. Tachibana gasped at Kanade's cuts and the twins fussed over her, but Kanade insisted she would take care of them. Kanade slipped into the bathroom for a bit, coming out with fresh band-aids on her forearms and knees. She proudly displayed her band-aids to the twins and gave them a reassuring smile. Then she faced Makoto and Haru.

"Well, I'm off to bed," Kanade announced to them. She turned towards the stairs and climbed a few steps before turning around. "Uh, Nanase-kun," Kanade called. Haru jumped at his name and looked at her, his brows lowering slightly. "Thanks for helping Makoto find me," she said, giving him a big smile.

Haru's brows raised and his eyes widened. He felt his heart jump inside his chest and his eyes lowered to the floor. Rin's words came back to his mind.

 _You and I both know that those rumors are bogus._

 _You sound jealous._

 _You're scared. Scared of Makoto leaving you or replacing you with her._

 _Just talk to her. Apologize for whatever you did._

Haru lifted his head to speak to Kanade, but jumped when he saw that had disappeared up the stairs and into the guest room. He glared painfully at the steps, unsure of what to say or do next.

"I know you don't like her that much," Makoto said suddenly. Haru snapped his head towards Makoto and gaped at him in shock. He remembered Rin mentioned Makoto could tell. But Makoto turned his head and smiled at him. "I could tell you didn't like her from the day you met her."

Haru swallowed, his throat suddenly feeling dry and his chest hurting. The truth needed to come out. Now.

"Makoto," Haru started.

Makoto turned his head to look at Haru, his smile gentle and eyes kind.

"Hm?" Makoto hummed, his face curious.

Haru took another deep breath through his nose.

"Can we talk?"

Makoto looked at Haru curiously.

"Talk?" Makoto repeated. He furrowed his brows nervously. "S-Sure, Haru. What's up?"

"Not here," Haru said bluntly.

Haru headed towards the front door. He put his hand on the door and turned to face Makoto. Makoto jolted, realizing what Haru wanted, and he followed Haru out of the house. They walked out of the Tachibana household and stood near the cobblestone steps that led up to Haru's house. The moon shone in the night sky, illuminating both of their faces.

"What did you want to talk about, Haru?" Makoto asked, an apprehensive smile on his face.

Haru looked at the ground, taking a moment to process his thoughts. He remembered all of the times he had tried to talk to Makoto about her, but the right words never came. Torii and Rin's push to get him to talk was finally about to pay off.

"Sh… Shizumi," Haru responded.

Makoto raised his brows. "Kanade? What about her?"

Haru paused. His hands curled into fists at his sides and he could feel his legs shaking.

"I… I don't trust her," Haru said. Makoto cocked his head.

"What? Don't trust her? Haru, what do you mean?" Makoto asked.

"She's hiding something from you," Haru said. "I don't want to see you get hurt."

"See me get hurt?" Makoto asked. "Haru, what are you talking about?"

"She's hiding something from you that could get you hurt!" Haru spat. "You shouldn't get so close to her!"

Makoto's face shifted from curious to confused, his eyebrows pushing together. He glanced down at the ground and tried to crack Haru's elusive code. He thought about how distant Kanade was, and how she ran off.

"Haru, that's… wait a minute," Makoto started. He snapped his head up from the ground and stared into Haru's eyes. "Did you… did you say something to her earlier? At the festival? Is that why she left?" Makoto's brows knitted together and his face contorted in pain.

Haru looked away from Makoto's painful gaze, staying silent. Makoto's hands curled into fists, his heart jumping wildly in his chest.

"What did you say to her?" Makoto asked, his voice almost in a whisper. Haru remained silent, still avoiding his gaze. "Haru!" Makoto's voice cracked as he took one more step up to meet him, forcing Haru's eyes to meet his. "What did you say?!"

Haru took a step back, trying to gather his thoughts. What exactly did he say earlier?

"I… I kind of…" Haru paused. "I kind of told her off. I told her that… she needed to leave you alone. She's hiding a secret from you. I don't trust her being around you."

"T-Told her off...?" Makoto's voice whimpered out. His arms shook a little and he trained to regain his composure. "What secret?" Makoto asked. Haru gulped and his fists tightened.

"There's a rumor that she's doing drugs. Performance-enhancing drugs. That's why she's been doing so well with swimming," Haru said. He finally had spit it out. He felt some slight relief as the weight lifted off of his shoulders.

"A rumor?" Makoto asked. "It's a rumor? It's not even a fact?" Makoto clenched his jaw, his insides swirling with mixed emotions. "Haru, you know you can't trust rumors."

Haru's eyes widened, something unfamiliar settling in his stomach. "Do you… do you not trust me, Makoto?" Haru asked quietly.

Makoto's heart sunk like a rock, the weight feeling heavy in his gut. He stared up at Haru. No, it was not supposed to be like this. They were not supposed to have another fight. Makoto felt pain in his chest, and he put a hand to it to calm his heart.

"I… I trust you, Haru," Makoto said softly. "But… something like that… it sounds… wrong."

"Then how do you explain her skills? How do you explain her not going to nationals, but then suddenly showing up and beating the national champion by _seconds_?" Haru asked.

Makoto frowned hard, gritting his teeth. He glanced away, feeling his stomach churning with nausea. "I…" he stammered. He felt a lump in his throat. "I don't know." Makoto's fists tightened with pain, his knuckles turning white and his nails digging into his palms. He hung his head and stared hard at the ground, his bangs covering his face.

No. It should not be this way. It cannot be this way.

Haru stared at him, his eyes widening. The relief that once rid the weight of his shoulders was now replaced by guilt, sitting like a rock in his stomach. He took a deep, shaky breath.

"M-Mako—"

"I don't understand, Haru," Makoto whispered. He lifted his head and stared at Haru, his green eyes glistening. "I just… don't get why you'd say that. Do you…" Makoto paused, gulping down a breath. "Do you hate her that much?" he whispered so softly that Haru could not hear.

Haru paused, feeling his blood begin to boil as anger seeped into his veins. Had Makoto not heard what he said?

"Makoto," Haru started. "You know that something is up with her. You even said you're unsure of how she got so fast!"

"I know, Haru, but…" Makoto's voice trailed off, making Haru lose even more patience.

"You're not even listening to me!" Haru shouted.

"Haru, I _am_ listening!" Makoto retorted.

"No, you're not," Haru spat.

"H-Haru, I… I want to believe you, but…" Makoto bit his lip and stared painfully at the ground. His hands were curled into fists. "I just… I just can't see Kanade doing something like that."

Haru's eyes widened, and he remembered Rin's words.

 _"Shizumi isn't like that."_

"You, too? You think that, too?" Haru said, his voice almost coming out as a whisper. Why did no one believe him? Or worse…

Was Haru wrong?

Haru started to turn away and retreat up the stairs to his home, but Makoto grabbed his wrist.

"Wait," Makoto said, his voice cracking.

Haru felt a familiar pang in his chest. That night with the fireworks, Makoto's stunned face, his spouting of words, his pushing Makoto away.

Was it happening all over again?

"Don't run away," Makoto said firmly.

"Then what am I supposed to do?" Haru asked, turning back to meet his friend's eyes. "You don't believe me."

"Haru, I told you, I want to believe you. But Kanade—"

"Stop it!" Haru yelled, cutting Makoto off.

Makoto winced from Haru's voice, but kept his hand firmly gripped on his wrist. Makoto's green eyes narrowed into pained slits as he stared down at Haru.

"Haru, I—"

"No!" Haru yelled again.

 _Stop,_ Haru told himself.

"Why won't you listen to me?!"

 _Don't say anymore. Just stop._

"Why don't you see it?!"

 _Stop talking before it's too late._

"I don't see it because I trust Kanade!" Makoto finally spoke up. Haru grit his teeth.

"You trust _her_ more than you trust _me_!" Haru spat out.

"That's not true, Haru," Makoto said calmly.

"Then why are you taking her side? We've known each other since we were kids. Is that not important to you?!"

"You're both important to me, Haru," Makoto said. "Why are you making me choose?! Don't you understand? I love you. I love you both. Why do want me to let her go?"

Haru felt his heart jump into his throat, and it felt as if he had been struck.

 _I love you_ **both**?

"You love her?" Haru whispered.

Makoto's eyes widened at his voice. He fumbled, trying to come up with an explanation, but the silence only made Haru angrier.

"Fine!" Haru said, ripping his hand from Makoto's grasp.

 _Don't walk away._

"Haru!" Makoto yelped.

Haru's hands curled into fists as he took a deep breath.

 _Don't say it._

"Do whatever you want!" Haru yelled.

Before Haru ran back into his house, he was able to catch a glimpse of Makoto's shocked face.

The same face he saw when he spat out those same words to him last year.

Makoto watched as Haru ran into his house and shut the door behind him. Makoto ran to the house and moved his hand to the door. He jumped in surprise when he realized that Haru had locked it.

"Haru!" Makoto called, his fist pounding on the door. "Haru…" Makoto whispered as he rested his palm on the door. This was their…

Second fight.

* * *

Makoto eventually left Haru's front door and drug his feet back to his home. He entered through the door to find that his family was still awake, but there was no sign of Kanade.

"Ah, Makoto, you're back," his mother said from the kitchen. She peeked her head around the corner to look at him. "How was… Makoto, are you all right?"

Makoto's breath hitched in his chest at her question. He forced a smile on his face, trying to swallow the lump that had lodged itself in his throat.

"Yeah, just… just tired," Makoto replied. "I think I'll turn in for the night."

"Aww, Onii-chan is going to bed already?" Ren whined.

"You only have a week left with us, Onii-chan!" Ran said.

"Ran, Ren, let him rest," his father scolded.

Makoto winced but tried his best to look cheery.

"Thanks," Makoto said. "Goodnight!" he called as he walked up the stairs.

His smile fell as soon as his foot hit the first step. He sighed and raised a hand to his heart. His chest felt uncomfortably tight as if something was squeezing his heart and twisting it inside of his chest. He heard Haru's words echoing in his mind, remembering him talking about drugs, a secret, and…

 _"I don't trust her."_

Makoto shivered. He wanted to believe Haru, but…

 _"I hope swimming with me makes you even the slightest bit happy."_

No, Kanade would not do something like that. It has to be something else. If Kanade was hiding something, it had to be a different reason.

Makoto stopped at his bedroom door but his eyes wandered down to the guest room. He took a deep breath and walked down to her door. He lifted a loose fist to knock but then froze.

He could hear the faint sound of crying beyond the door.

Makoto's heart suddenly felt like it was going to explode at any moment. More than anything, Makoto wanted to open that door and go and comfort her. But, instead, he lowered his hand to his side, feeling defeated. After a small sigh, Makoto retreated back to his bedroom, quietly closing the door behind him.

* * *

A light headache greets Makoto as he wakes up the next morning. Even though he had retired to his bed at a decent hour, he found that he could not shake off the insomnia. He lied awake for hours, staring up at the ceiling until exhaustion had taken over sometime around three in the morning.

Makoto pushed himself up and out of bed, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes to lighten the pain. He glanced over at the clock and saw that it was close to nine. He sighed and stood it his feet, throwing on some sweatpants and a fresh t-shirt.

As Makoto opened the door, the smell of hot breakfast wafted into his room. He could not help but smile, feeling grateful that his family would be around today. He hurried down the stairs, ready to greet everyone, but his smile fell as soon as his foot hit the last step.

The twins were both sulking on the couch in the living room, a few stray tears still on Ren's face. Makoto furrowed his brows with worry. He was about to approach them when Ran sent a glare his way. Makoto's foot froze on the spot.

 _What is wrong with them?_ Makoto thought.

Makoto quickly retreated into the kitchen to find his father sitting at the table with a newspaper and his mother in front of the stove.

"G-Good morning," Makoto greeted. They both turned to face him and they smiled.

"Good morning," his mother greeted. "Did you guys have fun yesterday?" she asked. Makoto's face lit up momentarily as he thought about all of the games and food, Kanade's hair stick, Nagisa's antics… But then, his face fell as he thought of Kanade's crying face after she fell, Haru's harsh words, their fight…

"Mm," Makoto hummed, his eyes downcast.

Speaking of Kanade…

Makoto lifted up his head and glanced around the kitchen.

"Ah, I guess Kanade isn't up, yet?" Makoto asked. His parents froze and stared at him strangely. Makoto blinked a few times. "W-What…?"

Mr. Tachibana put down the newspaper and blinked at his son, his brows lifting over his glasses.

"Kanade-chan left this morning," his father said.

Makoto felt a jarring pain in his chest.

 _What did he just say?_

Makoto felt his head spinning. Kanade left this morning? What time? Where did she go?

Why did she leave?

"W-What did you say?" Makoto asked, his eyes widening.

"She didn't tell you?" his mother asked, and Makoto felt his chest go cold. "She went back to Tokyo this morning."

Makoto replayed her sentence over and over again in his head. She went back to Tokyo? She went back to Tokyo. She went… back to Tokyo.

"This morning?" Makoto repeated.

"Yes, she got up at dawn with us," his father answered as he took a sip of coffee.

"Did… did she say why?" Makoto asked. His mother shook her head and shrugged.

"Just that she needed to get back to training," she answered. "She didn't talk to you, Makoto? I got the impression that you knew."

Makoto looked down at the ground, feeling his hands beginning to shake. Did she leave because of his family? Because of what Haru said? Because of… him?

"Makoto, did something happen?" his father asked, his brows knitted together in worry.

"I…" Makoto stuttered.

"Yeah, Onii-chan!"

Makoto whipped his head back to see Ran and Ren standing behind him, Ren looking upset and Ran looking angry.

"Did you make her upset?" Ran asked.

"She's not mad at us, is she, Onii-chan?" Ren sniffled.

Makoto blinked at them, feeling his stomach churning.

"I…" Makoto stammered again, looking back at his parents. They looked just as concerned as he did. "I need to call her."

He reached into his pocket and grabbed his phone. He slid it open and was about to call her when he remembered her broken phone from the night before.

"I gave her my old phone," his mother explained. "Try calling her on my old number."

Makoto looked at her and blinked. He felt his heart clench at his mother's graciousness.

"Thank you!" he said.

Makoto glanced down at his phone and quickly typed in his mom's old phone number. His free hand fidgeted nervously at his side, his mind chanting the words "pick up, pick up" over and over again.

The phone rang five times before turning to voice mail, and Makoto felt his chest turn cold. He had the fight with Haru the night before. But…

Is he losing Kanade, too?

* * *

Kanade stumbled through her apartment door, her back aching from the long trip. It was already nightfall, and Kanade was emotionally spent. She hated leaving so suddenly…

 _"Are you sure you want to leave so early, Kanade-chan?" Mrs. Tachibana asked._

 _Kanade clutched onto her bag but kept a smile on her face._

 _"Yeah, I should get back and start training again," she answered._

 _"Well, you're always welcome here," Mr. Tachibana said, a gentle smile painting his face._

 _That smile reminded Kanade of Makoto's smile, and she felt a twinge of pain in her chest. She forced a smile on her face._

 _"Thank you so much for taking care of me," Kanade said, bowing deeply to them._

 _"Will you let us know when you get back home safely?" Mrs. Tachibana asked._

 _"O-Oh, well…" Kanade stuttered. "My phone kind of broke last night."_

 _"Oh, dear! How terrible. Hold on." Mrs. Tachibana disappeared into the hall closet for a moment and then quickly returned._

 _"Here, take this," Mrs. Tachibana said. She handed Kanade a white phone. "It's my old phone. I kept it just in case we needed a spare. There should still be a charge on it and a few minutes left, so you can use it at least until you get home."_

 _Kanade felt tears prick her eyes at the sight. She smiled up at her and nodded._

 _"Thank you very much!"_

Kanade dropped her bag in her bedroom. They were so kind to her. She felt as if she was actually part of… a family.

Suddenly, she felt her new, borrowed phone start buzzing for the millionth time that day. She reached into her pocket and looked at the caller ID. She felt her chest clench when she saw Makoto's name on the screen again. He had been calling her all day, but she kept ignoring it.

She thought of his shining face when he overcame his fear in the ocean, the way the stars reflected off his green eyes. She remembered his touch, and how soft he was when he pushed her hair out of her face and when he helped treat her cuts.

 _Maybe… maybe I should answer. Just explain to him what I'm feeling._

Kanade put her finger over the 'send' button, ready to answer, but her thoughts were thrown back to the night of the festival.

 _"I know what you're hiding."_

 _"If Makoto finds out, he's going to get upset."_

 _"I don't want him to get hurt."_

Kanade felt her pulse rise.

 ** _"He doesn't need someone like you."_**

The phone slipped out of her fingers and fell onto the floor with a thud. Kanade stared down at it, her chest feeling tight and her core feeling empty. She stared down at the floor, as if trying to decipher where she was.

 _"I know what you're hiding."_

Her blood began to boil at Haru's words.

 _"He's going to get upset."_

Kanade stumbled backwards, a hand lifting to touch her head. Her head was fogged and dizzy from her increasing anger.

 _"Do us both a favor and leave him alone."_

Kanade snapped her head towards her bag, as if entranced. She knelt down and opened it, taking out her medicine bottles and her oxygen tank. She held them in her hands, glaring at them. She felt her muscles tense as her hands gripped them, her arms beginning to shake out of anger.

 _This is your fault,_ Kanade thought, staring down hard at the pills and the tank.

She looked up and saw herself in the mirror above her dresser, seeing her shaking hands holding the oxygen tank and the pills. Her eyes widened at first, but then she glowered at her reflection, feeling her chest start to heave at the sight.

 _"Leave him alone."_

She felt disgusted.

 _"He doesn't need someone like you."_

Kanade felt her anger raise, her hand gripping the oxygen tank until her knuckles turned white. She remembered Haru's words, and they burned through her like a fire.

She remembered all those visits, all of the promises that were broken, the frustrated sighs, and the words…

 ** _"I can't do this anymore."_**

 _No,_ Kanade thought, staring hard at herself in the mirror.

 _This is_ **your** _fault._

Kanade reared the oxygen tank back and threw it hard at the mirror, causing it to shatter into a thousand pieces. The pieces fell all around the ground, but Kanade did not care, her mind hazy and full of adrenaline.

In a blind rage, Kanade quickly made her way to the bathroom, opening all of her pill bottles. She dumped every last pill into the toilet and quickly moved a hand to flush it. She watched as all of the pills disappeared in an instant. She dropped the empty pill bottles onto the ground of the bathroom and then quickly left the room, not looking back.

She stopped by her room and grabbed her hoodie, angrily thrusting it onto her body and throwing the hood over her head. She then rushed out of her apartment, slamming the door behind her on her way out.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

* * *

Makoto rolled over in his bed, his eyes straining to focus on the bright room. He sighed when he saw his controllers lying by his TV, and absolutely groaned when he saw the closed scrapbook sitting next to it.

Three days.

It had been three whole days, and he had not heard a word from neither Kanade nor Haru. Of course, that meant he could make up for lost time with his family, but still…

He understood why Haru was not talking to him, but what was wrong with Kanade?

Makoto groaned and covered his eyes with his arms, rolling onto his back. He thought of their fight a few days ago. Haru looked so vulnerable and upset. Haru was obviously very passionate about what he was talking about, so he felt that there was truth behind his words. Makoto sighed. He knew Haru cared about him, and that's all Haru was trying to do.

Guilt started to claw its way up Makoto's throat, an apology ready to spring from his tongue. He sighed again and pushed himself up from his bed. He quickly left his house and trudged up the stairs to Haru's house. He took a deep breath, bracing himself for the inevitable. He raised a hand to knock on the door.

"Haru!" Makoto called, his voice cracking slightly. There was no response, so Makoto knocked again, a little harder this time. "Haru?" Makoto called, his voice louder. He put his hand on the door and it opened easily. He sighed and shook his head.

 _Not again… seriously, lock your door, Haru!_

Makoto stepped into Haru's home and headed straight for the bathroom. His hands shook nervously as he put his hand on the door.

"Haru… c-can we talk?" Makoto's tender voice sounded as he cracked the door open. "I… I want to make things right. I don't want to—"

Makoto blinked at the bathroom. It was empty.

"Haru?" Makoto whispered.

He backed out of the bathroom and rushed to Haru's bedroom. He flung the door open, but to his dismay, the room was also empty. Makoto scratched his head, feeling his stomach churn. He reached into his pocket for his phone and tried to call Haru's phone. He started to hear a ring on the other end, but then he heard a buzzing coming from the room. He jumped and turned towards Haru's desk, and he sighed, his shoulders sagging.

On Haru's desk sat his blue phone.

Makoto immediately hung up and stared down at his phone. He racked his brain, trying to think of where Haru would go. He scrolled down his contacts and picked one, hitting the send button. He put the phone back up to his ear, listening to the few rings in his ear.

"Yo," came Rin's voice.

Makoto gulped. "Hey, Rin."

"Oh, Makoto. What's up?" Rin asked on the other line.

"Ah…" Makoto stuttered. "Have you seen Haru?"

"Haru?" Rin scoffed his name as if offended. "What, you didn't want to talk to me?"

Makoto winced and shut his eyes, feeling more guilt weigh on his shoulders.

"Rin…" Makoto whispered.

There was a brief pause as if Rin understood Makoto's plea.

"No, I haven't seen him," Rin answered.

Makoto paused and he looked down at the floorboards. "Oh," he responded. "Okay. If you see him, can you give me a call?"

Rin paused for a moment. "Yeah, sure."

"Thanks, Rin," Makoto said.

"Sure."

Makoto hung up the phone and glanced around the room. Maybe he had gone for a swim? Or gone to get mackerel?

Makoto looked down at his phone once again and scrolled through his contacts until it landed on Kanade's number. His lips pressed together painfully as he stared at her name. He took a deep breath and rushed out of Haru's house.

* * *

Rin pulled his phone from his ear and hit the 'end' button. He stared down at his phone for a moment and glared at it as if it had offended him.

Suddenly, a sloshing could be heard from the bathroom behind him, and Rin clicked his tongue.

"Tsk, damn it," Rin muttered.

Rin turned and faced the bathroom door and sighed before opening it and strutting inside. He glowered at the tub.

"Oi, you need to talk to him," Rin scowled.

In the tub in front of him sat Haru clad in his black and purple jammers, his knees pulled to his chest and his chin resting on his forearms. His gaze was dulled as he stared at the white tub wall, his lips falling into a grimace at Rin's words.

Rin sighed at Haru's silence and walked over to the tub. He knelt down by the tub and tried to get Haru's attention.

"You listening to me?" Rin said, his voice a little gentler.

Haru's brows furrowed sadly and he squeezed his knees harder against his chest, curling up into a ball.

"He hates me," Haru muttered hiding his eyes from Rin.

Rin's eyes widened for a moment at Haru's words, but he quickly rolled them. He sat down by the tub and leaned his back against the tub wall, facing away from Haru.

"No he doesn't," Rin said as he folded his arms across his chest. Haru glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. "He's worried about you."

Haru fully turned his head to face the redhead, his brows turned upward in concern. "Worried?" Haru repeated.

"Ah, he just called. Asking if I've seen you," Rin started. He could hear Haru jolt and stiffen in the bath, the water sloshing and then settling. "Don't worry, I didn't tell him you were here. You owe me."

Haru sighed in relief, but the guilt in his stomach still lingered. He glanced down at the water in the tub, staring at his distorted reflection.

"This reminds me of when you went to Australia with me," Rin stated. Haru turned his gaze to stare at the back of Rin's head. "You were acting the same as you are now. Sulking."

"I'm not sulking," Haru muttered, turning his head to rest his chin back on his knees. He could hear Rin chuckle lightly at him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rin's arms rise and rest behind his head.

"You know…" Rin started, his voice low, reminding Haru of how he spoke in the hotel in Australia. "I probably won't be coming back."

Haru lifted his head from his knees, feeling his heart clench in his chest. He snapped his head to look back at the redhead, his eyes wide with shock.

"If I make it on the national team, I'll probably move there," Rin explained with a gentle voice.

Haru blinked at him, stunned silent. Was everyone trying to leave? Was everyone trying to leave… him? He grimaced and grit hit teeth, feeling his grip tighten around his knees.

 _Forget this…_ Haru thought.

"You're trying out for the Olympics, right?" Rin asked.

Haru stared down in the tub, seeing his black jammers peering through the clear water. He is suddenly thrown back into his memories of when he went to Australia with Rin, being dragged around everywhere. He remembered he was so bitter and upset about his fight with Makoto that he left his jammers at home. Rin had taken him to see the ocean and his homestay parents.

Of course, there was then the aquatics center. Haru had been hesitant at first, but Rin had managed to convince him to swim that day. Standing on that platform, he realized his dream once and for all. The rush of swimming and the excitement of being able to swim every single day created a new desire in his core, burning inside of him like a fire.

Why did that dream seem so pointless right now?

Once they returned to Japan, Makoto was there, waiting for him like he always had. Regardless of their fight that summer, Makoto was there, waiting with open arms for Haru to return. He had forgiven Haru for his harsh words even before an apology was spoken.

Could Makoto forgive him this time?

And at nationals, the relay was life changing, and Makoto was there at the starting block, extending his big hand down to Haru. And Haru would grab that hand without hesitation, knowing Makoto would always be there, and Makoto would pull him up with little effort.

But…

Will Makoto always be there?

"It doesn't matter," Haru muttered, hiding his face in his arms.

Rin spun his torso around and leaned his arm on the edge of the tub. He had a brow raised and his frown was prominent.

"Doesn't matter?" Rin growled. "Seriously. What in the world did you fight with Makoto about?"

Haru brows wrinkled together as his foggy memories of that night popped back into his head. Makoto's hurt, shocked face had burned itself into Haru's mind. His chest burned with regret and loneliness as he recalled Makoto's words.

"He said he loves her," Haru mumbled.

Rin's eyes widened and his lips parted. "He told you that?" Rin asked, and Haru hummed weakly in response.

"He trusts her more than he trusts me," Haru said. "He didn't believe me when I said something was off about her."

Rin stared at Haru for a moment before lowering his gaze down at the floor, his brows pushed together in worry. The sudden silence made Haru's chest hum with anxiety, and he lifted his head to look at Rin, his face crestfallen. Haru hardened his face in response, feeling annoyed at Rin's silence.

"What?" Haru snapped.

Rin sighed heavily and rubbed the back of his head. "I really shouldn't tell you this…" Rin's voice trailed off as he closed his eyes.

"Tell me what?" Haru urged. Rin took a deep breath and opened his eyes, his gaze glued to his lap.

"When I first got back to Japan, Gou mentioned something strange to me," Rin said. "About Shizumi." Rin paused to look at his hand, remembering how he had grabbed Gou's arm to make her explain. Rin sighed again and looked up at Haru, meeting his blue eyes. "Gou said… that Shizumi was ill."

Haru stared back at Rin, his face softening and his brows rising. The water in the bath suddenly felt frigid, his limbs turning numb from the lack of movement. He gulped.

"Ill?" Haru repeated.

"Yeah," Rin said. "Gou said she found some pill bottles in her bag," Rin said, pausing to notice Haru's accusing expression. "And an oxygen tank," Rin finished, making Haru's eyebrows shoot up in shock.

"What?" Haru asked.

Rin shrugged, and sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Gou told me not to tell anyone, especially Makoto. I guess Shizumi wanted to keep it a secret."

Haru moved his head down to his lap, feeling nauseous all of a sudden. If this was now true, that Kanade was actually sick and not doing drugs then… that would mean that Haru was wrong and falsely accused her and… yelled at Makoto for no good reason.

Haru set his jaw and clenched his fists, his eyes squinting in pained slits. "How true is that?" Haru asked quietly.

"Well, I'm not sure, but I trust Gou," Rin said. "And… I kind of noticed that Shizumi was acting a little strange after she swam. Like she had trouble breathing or something."

Haru's eyes widened.

At the joint practice, after her race, she climbed out of the pool was shook all over, her hand pressed tightly to her chest. He remembered how worried Makoto looked when she told them she would miss dinner, but Haru ignored it and even felt glad that she canceled.

The Iwatobi pool, after his race with her, Kanade was leaning over the lane divider, her breaths raspy and ragged as she congratulated Haru on winning. Her eyebrows twitched in pain, but Haru ignored it.

On the island, after Kanade had dragged Dai—a boy who was almost twice her height—back to shore, she collapsed, once again pushing her hand into her chest. But Haru ignored that, too. He also ignored Makoto's worried gaze as he stared at her and asked about her the rest of the night.

"You should go talk to Makoto," Rin said, snapping Haru out of his deep thoughts. Haru watched as Rin stood to his feet and put his hands on his hips. "I'm sure he wants to talk to you."

Haru sighed and hung his head for a moment, but heard Rin drop a towel on the floor next to the tub. Haru lifted his head and glanced down at the towel, then back up to Rin.

"I'm not helping you out of the tub or anything. Only Makoto can put up with that shit," Rin said as he waved his hand at him dismissively and left the bathroom.

Haru sighed and shook his head, shaking off the water from his hair. He finally pulled himself out of the tub and lazily grabbed the towel to wipe his face. Once he pulled the towel from his face, he stared at himself in the mirror, hearing his own voice in his head from a few nights ago. He remembered how he had shouted at Makoto, once again pushing him away.

Haru's hand gripped the towel painfully. He quickly grabbed a shirt and his pants, hurrying to change. He rushed out to the living room where Rin sat on the couch with his arms propped up on the back. He tilted his head back and gave Haru a soft look.

"What's the rush?" Rin asked as Haru was gathering his things.

"I'm going to go talk to Makoto," Haru said. "And… Shizumi."

Rin blinked at him a few times but then smiled. Rin stood to his feet, heading towards the door where Haru was putting on his shoes. He paused for a moment, watching Haru put on his socks.

"I leave to go back tomorrow," Rin announced as he leaned against the doorframe. Haru froze, his hand still on his shoe. He glanced up at Rin, soft eyes slightly pained at hearing this.

"You better try out for the Olympics. I want to be able to race you," Rin started, a smirk on his lips. But once he saw Haru's downcast expression, he softened his face. "And… I want to be able to stand next to you on the winners' platforms." Rin rubbed the back of his neck embarrassingly, a tiny hint of red dusting his cheeks.

Haru blinked a few times and closed his eyes, a small smile pulling at his lips. He pulled his shoe on his foot.

"Yeah," Haru hummed in agreement. He stood to his feet and grabbed his bag. He opened the door and took a step across the threshold. "I'll see you there," he said to Rin as he walked out of the door.

Rin blinked at him as he walked out of his home, and then he smirked, feeling the excitement in his bones. He waved Haru off and quietly shut the door behind him, turning to look at his running shoes that rested by the door. His eyes sparkled with energy that he simply could not contain.

Rin was about to go and put on his tracksuit to go for a run when he felt his phone go off in his pocket. He clicked his tongue in annoyance.

 _What did Haru forget?_ Rin thought. He pulled out the phone and opened up the text.

His breath hitched in his chest and his eyes softened.

..

 _1 New Message_

 _Sousuke_

..

"Sousuke?" Rin mumbled to himself. He opened up the message.

 _.._

 _To: Rin_

 _It's fixed._

 _.._

Rin blinked down at the text, a brow raised.

 _.._

 _To: Sousuke_

 _This is vague as hell._

..

A few seconds later, another text popped up.

 _.._

 _To: Rin_

 _Sorry. You busy now?_

..

Rin felt his brow twitch, but he quickly hit the send button on Sousuke's contact and lifted the phone to his ear.

"Hey," came Sousuke's deep voice on the line.

"Stop sending cryptic texts," Rin spat. "They're confusing," Rin added. Sousuke chuckled, his deep voice booming in Rin's ear.

"Sorry, sorry. Just didn't want you to cry," Sousuke said.

"Hah?" Rin asked. "What are you talking about? What's fixed?"

He heard Sousuke huff out a small laugh. "I got surgery right out of high school. Sorry I didn't tell you."

"S-Surgery?!" Rin yelled.

"Yeah, to fix my shoulder."

Rin straightened, his eyes widening and his hand gripping the phone tightly. He felt a lump in his throat as tears sprung to his eyes.

"It's… fixed?" Rin whimpered out.

"Yeah. I just need therapy. I asked around for the best therapy for swimmers," Sousuke said. Rin's heart jumped.

"So… you're going to try again?" Rin asked.

"Yeah," Sousuke said.

Rin lifted a hand to cover his mouth, trying to hide his choked sobs from Sousuke.

"This is why I waited to tell you," Sousuke said. "Didn't want you to cry."

"I'm not crying!" Rin shouted back, his voice pathetically shrill. He heard Sousuke laugh gently, and Rin could almost picture his kind face as he spoke.

"So, I asked the docs about good places for swimmers to go for therapy. They recommended some places, but I asked about therapy programs outside the country," Sousuke began.

"Outside of Japan?" Rin asked. "Why would you—"

"They recommended a good program in Sydney."

Rin froze. "S-Sydney?"

"Yeah."

Rin's eyes widened.

"Mind helping me out while I'm there?" Sousuke asked. "I have a flight this weekend. And of course, I'll need a translator for a while."

Rin felt his chest burn with excitement and relief as slick tears fell down his cheeks. He sniffled a little before forming his free hand into a fist.

"You idiot…"

* * *

Haru walked down along the shore, taking the same path that he and Makoto had taken so many times before. The sun was just beginning to set beneath the ocean, and Haru knew that Makoto and his family would be eating dinner.

His hands were shoved into his pockets, jitters starting to overwhelm him. He knew he had to speak to Makoto. Again. Apologizing should be easy enough. Once he made it to the stone steps, he started to climb, his legs wobbling on each step as his nerves shot through his body.

 _Just apologize to Makoto and Shizumi. Easy,_ Haru thought.

He stopped at the steps that led to the Tachibana household. His eyes flicked up to his own home, wanting to retreat to the solace of his tub, but he forced his foot forward towards the front door of Makoto's home.

Taking a deep breath, he raised his hand to ring the doorbell, his finger hesitating for only a moment before he pushed it forward. The bell rang and Haru stiffened, his gaze turning to the side as he waited. He heard some ruckus before the door flung open and out came the twins.

"Haru-chan!" Ran and Ren both ran towards him and grabbed his hands.

"We haven't seen you in days!" Ren shouted.

"Come have dinner with us!" Ran invited.

Haru glanced at the both of them. "Actually, I'm looking for—"

"Oh, Haru-chan!"

Haru looked up and saw Mrs. Tachibana standing in the doorway. She had a curious look on her face, but she quickly melted into a kind smile. The Tachibana trademark.

"Would you like to come in for some dinner?" she invited. Haru sighed and lowered his brows, wondering why Makoto had not come to the door yet. He peeked around her, trying to see if he was hiding in another room behind her.

"Actually, I'd like to talk to Makoto," Haru said, his voice a little quiet. Both Ran and Ren glanced up at him with wide eyes and they let go of his hands.

"Eh?" Mrs. Tachibana squeaked. She cocked her head and her smile dwindled. "Why, Makoto left earlier today to go back to Tokyo."

Haru's eyes widened, his hands stiffening by his sides. "He… went back to Tokyo?" Haru asked.

"Yes, he left this morning. He said he had some work he needed to do," she said. "He actually went up to your place before he left, so I thought he had told you."

Haru felt his heart plummet into his stomach like a rock. Makoto had gone up to his house this morning? And then he decided to go back to Tokyo?

What's… going on?

* * *

Makoto gently opened the door the apartment. The journey back was long, and the sun was beginning to set in the city.

"Kanade?" Makoto called as the door opened. His eyes flicked around the dark apartment. All of the lights were off. "Kanade?" Makoto called again, shutting the door behind him.

Makoto turned on the main light in the living room, his eyes moving to the couch. Nothing seemed out of place, but the atmosphere felt... off. His brows pushed together nervously.

 _It's past dinner time. Where is she? She usually isn't out at this hour,_ Makoto thought.

He drifted to the kitchen, seeing only one plate in the sink. Scratching his head, he wandered out towards the main room again, searching for any signs of Kanade.

"Kanade!" Makoto called again.

Makoto walked down the hallway towards the bedrooms but stopped at the bathroom. He put his ear up to the door and listened, knocking softly when he heard nothing. After a moment of silence, he opened the door and peeked into the bathroom.

There was nothing out of place in the bathroom save a stray piece of paper on the floor next to the trashcan. Makoto knelt down to pick up the scrap paper and he lifted it to place it in the trash, but then he froze. Sitting inside the trashcan were several prescription bottles.

 _Prescription bottles?_ Makoto thought.

He reached down and grabbed all of them, reading the labels carefully.

 _Propranolol? Atenolol? Metoprolol? Verapamil? What are these for?_

Makoto reread the labels over and over but could not decipher what they meant or what they were for. All of the bottles had Kanade's name printed on them.

 _They're all empty…_

Makoto scrunched up his brows, his lips frowning in worry. Should these be empty? Makoto capped all of the lids back on the bottles and walked out of the bathroom, a nervous hand raised to rub his neck.

Right across from the bathroom was Kanade's room. The door was shut, like it normally always was, no one entering except for Kanade herself. Makoto lowered his brows and took a step to the door. He raised a hand and knocked, calling her name once again. But, there was once again no answer.

Makoto glanced around the quiet apartment and then turned back to look at her door. He put a hand on the door and carefully opened it. The door opened to an empty, dark room. It was quiet, with a few strewn clothes here and there. Her desk was messy, filled with stray papers and books, and her bed was unmade.

Sitting on the desk were the pieces of the hair stick that had broken a few nights before, and Makoto felt his chest pang a little.

Makoto then glanced over at her dresser and gasped. The mirror hanging above her dresser only had a few shards still sticking to its frame. Makoto raised a brow and walked towards it, peering at the jagged edges. When he stepped forward to look closer, his foot kicked the trashcan next to the dresser, and Makoto looked down at it.

His eyes widened when he saw something bulky sitting in the trashcan, along with the broken shards of the mirror. Kneeling down to the trashcan, Makoto gently picked it up. He squinted, trying to get his eyes to adjust in the dark room.

In his hands was an oxygen tank.

 _What is_ this _for?!_

Makoto inspected it closely, wondering why Kanade would have something like this. There was a massive dent in the side along with a small hole, just below the gauge. Makoto leaned in closer to look at the gauge. The needle in the gauge was at 0.

 _So it's empty… Is that why it's in the trash?_

Makoto moved to gently cradle the mask in the palm. His brows knitted together nervously. Something in his gut twisted painfully, and he could hear Haru's words in his ears.

 _But how did it get this dent...? Did she... with the mirror..._

 _"She's hiding something from you."_

Makoto shut his eyes tightly, his hands gripping the tank in his hands.

 _Was this what you were trying to tell me, Haru? And I didn't believe you. I need to get some answers. I need to find—_

"Ah, so you're her new roommate."

Makoto, startled at the sudden deep voice, jumped, his head hitting the top of the dresser in front of him as he tried to stand. He heard deep laughter and he turned around, a hand to his head to rub the painful spot. Standing in the doorway was an older man with gray hair. He was tall, almost as tall at Makoto, and he had a small beard that covered his chin. He had fierce eyes, but a wide smile.

"Didn't mean to scare you, lad," he said, putting his hands on his hips. "I'm the owner of this rec center."

Makoto dropped his hand by his side and blinked at him a few times.

"So you're… Kanade's caretaker?" Makoto asked.

"That would be me," he said. "And you're this roommate she's told me about."

Makoto fumbled with his hands for a moment, suddenly feeling uptight. He quickly bowed deeply to the man.

"I-I-It's very nice to meet you, sir!" Makoto stammered out. "M-My name is Tachibana Makoto."

"Makoto, eh?"

Makoto slowly tilted his head up to see the man scratching his chin with a kind smile on his face.

"My name is Fukui Makoto," he introduced, bowing his head slightly.

Makoto jolted upright. Kanade's words from the first day they met rang in his ears.

 _"Ah, Makoto. That's a nice name!"_

A smile pulled at his lips. No wonder Kanade was drawn to his name. He shared the name of the man who has taken care of her for the past several years.

"I've been wanting to meet you, but she never invites me over anymore!" Fukui said, rubbing his chin.

"Oh, I'm sure she's been busy lately," Makoto said.

"So, where is she, anyway?" Fukui asked. "She hasn't been answering my calls."

Makoto's eyes widened. "You haven't heard from her?" Makoto asked, and Fukui shook his head. "I haven't heard from her in four days."

Fukui raised a brow and frowned. He folded his arms across his chest and glanced down at the floor.

"That's strange," Fukui said. "She seemed to be doing so well, too. I wonder if _you_ are what's making her so happy." Fukui grinned at Makoto, and Makoto blushed.

"A-Ah, well…" Makoto rubbed the back of his neck.

Fukui chuckled a little, his eyes gazing down to Makoto's hand by his side. His smile vanished from his face when he saw the oxygen tank in his hand.

"What have you got there?" Fukui asked. Makoto's smile fell from his face as well as he lifted the tank up for Fukui to see.

"I found this in the trash… along with pieces of her mirror," Makoto said, pointing to the broken mirror on the wall. "It… kind of looks like she threw this at the mirror. There's a dent in it, and the gauge says it's empty."

Fukui's eyes widened at this and he rushed to look at the tank. He checked the gauge and the dent, his eyebrows lowering over his eyes. He sighed and started to quietly mumble to himself.

"I… I also found some empty pill bottles in the bathroom," Makoto said.

Fukui whipped his head up to look at Makoto, his brows still creased with either worry or anger. Makoto gulped as Fukui let go of the tank and whirled around to head to the bathroom. Makoto gently placed the tank down and started to follow.

Fukui slipped into the bathroom and he picked up the pill bottles that Makoto had placed on the counter. Makoto watched as Fukui opened all of them, mumbling "No" every time he found them empty. After he had opened the last bottle and found it empty, he slammed it down on the counter.

"That foolish girl!" Fukui yelled. "What is she doing?" He raised a hand to massage his temple.

"What's wrong?" Makoto asked, his worry increasing. He started to feel a cold sweat bead on his back.

Fukui turned around and folded his arms across his chest. "She didn't tell you, did she?" he asked, his voice calmer but strained.

Makoto felt his heart jump, thinking back to when Haru had spoken to him. He mentioned Kanade hiding something. Was Haru right all along?

"Um…" he stammered. "Tell me what?"

Fukui at this point sighed and raked his hand through his gray hair. "She's… she's not well."

Makoto's chest sunk in pain, his eyes widening. "Not… well?" His voice shook pitifully as he spoke.

"Yeah," Fukui nodded. "She's—"

Suddenly, they heard the front door open, followed by a loud thud. Fukui and Makoto took a moment to exchange worried glances before rushing out of the bathroom and towards the front door. At the front of the door was Kanade, her body crumpled up on the floor. Her chest was heaving, and her breaths were raspy and painful.

At the front of the door was Kanade, her body crumpled up on the floor. Her chest was heaving, and her breaths were raspy and pained.

"Kanade!" Makoto yelled as he ran towards her and grabbed her shoulder. Fukui was right behind, kneeling down to Kanade and flipping her on her back. He gently held her head.

"Kid, can you hear me?" Fukui asked.

Kanade pushed her hand to her chest, her fingers gripping hard at her shirt. She struggled to open her eyes.

"My… chest," Kanade gasped. "It… hurts…"

Fukui's eyes went wide for a moment as he listened to her strained breaths. He whipped his head up to Makoto.

"Call an ambulance," Fukui said. Makoto jolted and nodded at him, scrambling to get on his feet. He reached into his pocket to grab his phone and he shakily dialed the number. "Hang on, kid," Fukui whispered. "Stay awake. You hear me?"

Kanade shut her eyes tight, releasing another painful breath, but she managed to nod at him. Her chest heaved again as she tried to catch her breath. Her fist was crumpling up her shirt and her free hand shook violently by her side.

Soon enough, Makoto hung up the phone and rushed back to Kanade's side. He knelt down and grabbed her hand that shook by her side.

"What the hell were you doing?" Fukui asked her. She managed to open her eyes to look at him.

"I… went… for…" Kanade gasped and heaved. "A… run."

Makoto noticed that Kanade was dressed in her workout clothes.

"A run? That's not what I meant!" Fukui yelled. "Why did you throw out all of your pills?"

Kanade's brows furrowed and she groaned in pain, her hand squeezing Makoto's.

"What's happening?" Makoto asked, his voice cracking.

Fukui sighed, his eyes looking tired as he tilted his head up to meet Makoto's eyes.

"She's having a heart attack."


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

* * *

Makoto could not believe his ears. He replayed Fukui's sentence in his head.

 _She's having a heart attack._

"W-What?!" Makoto yelled. "A heart attack?!"

"Yeah," Fukui said. He glanced out the window, his forehead wrinkling. "Damn, where's that ambulance?"

Kanade croaked out another painful breath, her shivering hand gripping Makoto's as her body shook. Makoto squeezed her hand back before looking up at Fukui.

"W-What do we do?" Makoto asked. Fukui glanced around the apartment, his hand still gently cradling Kanade's head.

"Is there any aspirin?" Fukui asked.

"A-Ah, maybe," Makoto said. "I'll go look."

Makoto gave Kanade's hand a good squeeze before getting up. He rushed into the bathroom and raided the medicine cabinet. Luckily, there was a bottle of aspirin on the top shelf, and Makoto quickly snatched it, rushing back to Kanade's side.

"Here," Makoto said, handing it to Fukui.

"Good," Fukui said, and he quickly opened the bottle. "Kid, can you hear me? You need to chew this."

He stuck the pill in Kanade's mouth, trying to force her jaw to chew the pill.

"This will help?" Makoto asked, taking Kanade's hand again.

"It should," Fukui said. Makoto stared down, watching Kanade swallow the pill.

"N-Now what?" Makoto asked.

Fukui sighed, looking at Makoto with frustrated brows.

"Now we wait."

* * *

 _Where… where am I?_

 _What's… what are those flashing red lights?_

 _I don't… remember._

 _Huh? Pills?_

 _Right. I threw them out._

 _Why did I do that again?_

 _Right. It's because…_

 _Oh. Who is with me?_

 _M…_

 _It starts with an M._

 _What was it…_

 _Right!_

 _Makoto._

 _Oh, he smells so good. I've always liked the cologne he uses._

 _Man, everything is so blurry..._

 _Ouch! What was that? Why'd you prick me?_

 _Sheesh, be gentler._

 _Wait. Where is Makoto?_

 _I can't feel his hand anymore…_

 _Why can't I see anything?_

 _I can hardly breathe._

 _Makoto. What did he smell like again?_

 _Darn it. I can't remember._

 _Why can't I remember?_

 _Crap. I really screwed up this time._

 _Please. Don't leave._

 _Don't leave me._

 _..._

 _"Hey, Kanade!"_

 _Kanade looked up from her notebooks in the large classroom. There was Yuki, standing at the doorway of the classroom. Kanade smiled and stood up from her desk and walked over to her._

 _"Hey, Yuki-chan! What's up?" Kanade greeted._

 _"I was wondering if you wanted to eat lunch together," Yuki said, her handing holding a bento._

 _"Oh, sure! Man, it sucks that they separated us in different classes. Especially as first-years," Kanade said sadly._

 _"Yeah, that figures," Yuki said. "But I'm sure you've made a ton of new friends in the swim club."_

 _"E-Eh, sorta," Kanade said, rubbing the back of her neck._

 _"Huh? Haven't really gotten along with them?" Yuki asked._

 _"They're a little rough around the edges," Kanade said shyly. "It's a lot harder in high school."_

 _"Sheesh, I'm glad I quit then," Yuki said, putting her hands on her hips. "Well, c'mon! Grab your lunch and let's go!"_

 _"Oh, right!"_

 _Kanade abruptly turned around and immediately bumped into someone. She felt herself flail backwards a few steps holding her nose. Then, she glanced up. In front of her stood a tall boy with black hair and brown eyes. He gave an apologetic smile._

 _"Excuse me," he said, rubbing the back of his head._

 _"O-Oh, sorry!" Kanade apologized, deeply bowing to him. "I wasn't watching where I was going!" she apologized again. The boy laughed._

 _"No big deal. I'm Fujioka Takuya," he introduced._

 _"Sh-Shizumi Kanade," Kanade said._

 _"Cool name. I guess I'll see you around, Shizumi," he said, and he waved her off as he left the classroom._

 _Kanade waved back at him, even when he left the room. Yuki came and shook her shoulders, staring at Fujioka's back._

 _"K-Kanade! He's so cute! And he talked to you!" Yuki chirped._

 _"Y-Yeah," Kanade said, a blush rising to her cheeks. "Cute."_

* * *

Makoto sat numbly in the waiting room. His leg bounced nervously on the tile floor and his hands were clasped tightly on his lap. There were several nurses floating about, and people in stark-white lab coats chatting happily as they passed by. They were all distant murmurs to Makoto as he leaned forward and rested his arm on his bouncing leg. Fukui sat across from him, a coffee in one hand while the other rubbed at the beard on his chin. Neither one had said a word to each other since they had arrived and Kanade disappeared behind those double doors.

That was a few hours ago.

Makoto sighed, rubbing his palm nervously on his pants. He hated hospitals. Ever since Haru had almost drowned in that river when they were kids, he always was scared of hospitals.

 _How did this happen?_ Makoto asked himself. _I've noticed that she would be tired and that her breaths were raspy but…_

Makoto remembered all of the times that Kanade heaved out painful breaths. He remembered when she seemed to be in pain at the joint practice, and when she fainted at the island lodge.

Makoto felt his stomach lurch and his heart pound. He hung his head and buried his face in his hands.

 _Why didn't I notice this sooner?_

"She should be fine."

Makoto shot his head up to gaze at a tired Fukui. Besides the dark circles under his eyes, he seemed relatively calm.

"The attack didn't look too bad," Fukui added. Makoto paused, his lips parted slightly as he blinked at Fukui.

"This… this has happened before?" Makoto asked.

Fukui's eyebrows arched gently, as if he just remembered something. But then he lowered his gaze to stare at his coffee in his hand.

"Yeah it has," he responded. "A few times, actually."

"A… A few?" Makoto whispered back. He glanced down at his hands, his fingers shaking in his lap. She's had... a few attacks before?

What is going on?

"She'll be okay. And when she gets out of surgery, I'll have to give her a piece of my mind," Fukui said, rubbing at his neck. He paused for a moment, and then chuckled lightly, snapping Makoto out of his daze. "She hasn't changed a bit. You know, when she showed up on my doorstep so many years ago, she was so determined to win me over and stay with me. She definitely won that battle."

Fukui chuckled again and then took a sip of his coffee. Makoto's tired eyes stared at him, watching him as he drank the coffee. He felt his stomach churn nervously.

"Don't worry, lad," Fukui said. "She'll win this battle, too."

Makoto's heart jumped and he nodded, his hands gripping his knees. He started to bounce his leg again.

"What's… what's wrong with her?" Makoto asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Fukui remained silent, his eyes squinting as though he was thinking really hard. He closed his eyes and sighed, lifting a hand to rake through his hair.

"This is something she needs to tell you," Fukui said. "She can't keep running away forever."

"R-Running away?" Makoto repeated.

"It's her 'go-to' for whenever she's in trouble. Happened in high school a lot, where she would run away for a few hours when problems arose," Fukui explained. "I've been trying to tell her that there are people out there that don't want her to run away. Stupid girl."

Makoto's fists clenched his pants as he stared down at the white tiles of the waiting room. He shut his eyes tight and gripped his knees, his hands beginning to shake.

 _I should have noticed. I should have…_

* * *

 _"Let's go, Shizumi!"_

 _"Right!"_

 _Kanade got onto the starting block, waiting the coach's whistle. She took a deep breath and held it, her eyes focusing on the crystal clear water below her._

 _When the whistle sounded, he leapt from the block and dove in, her hands tearing through the water. She gained speed as she reached the far end of the pool, her feet pushing herself off of the wall and flying her back down the lane. Her hand hit the wall, sending water flying, and she reared her head back to gasp in air._

 _"Nice work," the coach said. "Your time is getting faster and faster by the day. Keep it up!"_

 _"Ah, thank you, Coach!" Kanade said as she climbed from the pool._

 _She headed towards the locker room, when she heard her name being called. She turned around and saw a tall, black-haired boy approaching her._

 _"Oh, Takuya!" Kanade greeted with a smile._

 _"You did great, babe," Takuya said, leaning down to press a kiss on her cheek._

 _"T-Takuya!" Kanade said, pushing him away._

 _"What? No one was looking!" he said. Kanade flushed and glanced around._

 _"But what if the first-years see? I have to be an example for them! And the third-years... I don't want my senpai to hate me."_

 _"Oh please," Takuya said, rolling his eyes. He leaned down to kiss her again. "C'mon, we were going to go to karaoke after your practice. Yuki invited us."_

 _"Ah, I can't," Kanade said, rubbing her arm. "I have a doctor's appointment."_

 _Takuya's smile vanished. "Another one? Seriously?" Takuya said, the annoyance ringing in his voice._

 _"S-Sorry…" Kanade apologized._

 _"It's fine. Whatever. See you around." Takuya turned away, leaving Kanade at the pool._

 _"Right. See you later..."_

* * *

"Fukui-san?"

Makoto popped his head up at the sound of a woman's voice, now suddenly in front of them in the waiting room. She was a nurse, dressed in scrubs with a clipboard in her hand.

"Yes, that's me," Fukui said, standing to his feet.

"She's in recovery now. If you'll follow me, I can take you to her room," she said. Fukui hesitated, taking a glance back at Makoto.

"Her roommate is here with me. He can come to see her, too, right?" Fukui asked, pointing a thumb back to Makoto. The nurse simply smiled and nodded.

"Sure. This way please."

Fukui turned to Makoto and motioned with his head for him to follow. Makoto immediately jumped to his feet and followed Fukui and the nurse. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, each step feeling heavier and heavier as they got closer to the room.

After they rounded a corner, they enter an all white room with a bed near the window. Makoto felt his heart leap into his throat as he saw Kanade, there in the bed, attached to wires. Her chest slowly moved up and down, the screen nearby beeping softly. There was a small bandage taped to her chest.

Makoto gulped, his legs turning into jelly as he walked into the room. Fukui immediately walked by Kanade's side and stared down at her, sighing. He wiped his face and then reached down to stroke Kanade's hair.

The nurse walked up to the screen and muted the annoying beeps. She then turned to Fukui.

"The surgery was successful. The pacemaker was inserted as you requested," she said.

Makoto's eyes widened, his gaze shifting to Fukui, who was nodding.

"Thank you," he said, and the nurse left the room.

"P-Pacemaker?" Makoto asked him once the nurse was gone.

"Yep," Fukui said, walking to sit in a chair in the corner. He groaned as he sat. "She's going to be pretty upset at me about that." He let out a soft chuckle.

Makoto's brows lowered, his eyes going back to Kanade. He watched as her chest moved up and down again, and tears sprang to his eyes. He walked by her side and stared down at her face. Her lips were slightly parted as she slept, a few stray strands of hair in her face. Makoto reached down and gently brushed the hair out of her face and behind her ear. He felt his breath hitch in his chest, and he raised his arm to wipe his eyes on his sleeve.

"She'll be fine, Makoto," Fukui said, his voice smooth and caring. Makoto turned to look at him. He was smiling gently back. "Don't worry. She may be small, but she's pretty solid."

Makoto blinked a few times, and then released a small chuckle.

 _That's where she got it from,_ Makoto thought happily.

"Here," Fukui said, pulling up a chair for Makoto.

"O-Oh, thank you," Makoto said.

Makoto sat down in the chair next to Kanade's bedside, watching her face. There are so many things he wanted to say to her. So many things he needed to know.

 _Why did you hide this, Kanade?_

* * *

 _"You've got this, Shizumi!"_

 _"Go, go, go!"_

 _Kanade swam furiously down the lane, her hands punching through the water. She felt her chest ache with every stroke but she kept pushing._

 _"Go, Kid, go!"_

 _Kanade felt her heart jump at hearing Fukui's voice in the crowd._

 _She can do this._

 _She's finally a third-year._

 _She's got the experience now._

 _She's trained her whole high school career for this._

 _She can win and go to nationals._

 _Kanade took the turn and pushed herself off of the wall, sending her far into the lane._

 _"Last leg! Push it!"_

 _She can prove it to her teammates that she won't give up._

 _She can prove to her coach that she's strong enough for this._

 _She'll prove to Takuya that she's worth something._

 _Takuya..._

 _Where was his voice, anyway?_

 _She wanted to hear Takuya's voice._

 _Kanade thrust herself forward, pushing harder and harder until her lungs felt as if they would burst. The pain was starting to radiate to her arm but she tried to ignore it. The wall was just up ahead._

 _C'mon, push it!_

 _Push!_

 _Finally, she made it to the starting wall and slammed her hand against it, rearing her head back to look at the board. There was her name._

 _1_ _st_ _place_

 _Shizumi Kanade_

 _Kanade's eyes widened when she saw it, and she smiled, hearing the faint sounds of cheering amongst the crowds._

 _"You did it, Kid!" Fukui said, approaching the block. He reached his hand down to her. "You're going to nationals!" Kanade smiled and reached up to take his hand._

 _"Augh!"_

 _Suddenly, a gripping pain shot through her arm, and she dropped her hand back into the water._

 _"K-Kid?" Fukui called._

 _Kanade's lungs felt as though they had collapsed, her chest burning with intense pain. She tried to reach her hand back up to Fukui, but her vision blacked out as she fell back into the water._

 _"Kanade!"_

* * *

 _"Kanade!"_

Kanade stirred, hearing Fukui's voice echoing in her dreams. The first thing she felt was a dull ache in her chest. Her eyes flitted open and she tried to lean up, but the pain in her chest kept her from moving. She tried to focus on the room, and white blurriness disappeared, and she realized where she was.

In the hospital.

Kanade sighed, and tried to move her arm, but it was being held down by some weight. She turned her head and she felt her heart jolt.

Makoto's hand and head were gently resting on her arm. He was asleep, soft breaths escaping his parted lips. Kanade felt her chest squeeze painfully. Why was Makoto here? That could only mean one thing.

He knows.

Kanade felt panic claw at her throat and she tried to force herself up, groaning lightly in the process. Her body ached, but she pushed through the pain. She carefully tried to slip her hand out from underneath Makoto's head, but her movement caused him to stir. He whined a little before slowly sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"What…" he mumbled. Makoto stared at her through barely-opened eyes. "Kanade…?" He yawned and rubbed his eyes again.

Once his eyes focused, Makoto jolted, his eyes widening and his mouth hanging open in shock.

"Kanade!" Makoto said, rising to his feet. "I-I… you… h-hold on!"

Makoto suddenly raced out of the room and went to the main desk just outside the room. Soon, he came back with a few nurses and Fukui.

"Fukui-san," Kanade said, watching him as he came to her side. She tried to sit up more, but Fukui grabbed her shoulders and forced her back down on the bed.

"Just rest, okay?" Fukui said. He grabbed the remote for the bed and sat it up for her.

"How do you feel, Shizumi-san?" a nurse asked, checking Kanade's chart.

"Oh, I feel fine, I guess," Kanade said groggily. "My… my chest hurts a little." Kanade mumbled, her hand lifting to rub the bandage on her chest.

"Well, getting a pacemaker inserted can be a little painful," the nurse replied.

Kanade's eyes widened. "Pace… Pacemaker?" she whispered.

"Everything looks good here," the nurse said. "We'll be back in a little while to check up on you." With those parting words, the nurses left.

Kanade whipped her head back to Fukui, her brows lowered and her teeth grit. Her fists gripped the blankets. "A pacemaker?! You said you'd let me decide!"

"That was before you decided to dump all of your pills," Fukui said, folding his arms across his chest.

Kanade's face softened, turning into a guilty expression as she stared into her lap, her hands curling into tight fists.

"I'm sorry," she muttered.

Fukui sighed and rubbed his face. "All right. Just calm down. I'm going to go down to the cafeteria to get some food. Makoto will keep you company," Fukui said as he left the room.

Makoto nodded and watched him leave. He turned his head back to Kanade, who still had her head facing her lap. Her fists relaxed, lying flat in her lap. Her hair fell in her face.

"Kanade," Makoto called, making Kanade jump. Kanade slowly lifted her head to look at him, her blue eyes tired. "What's going on here?" Makoto asked.

"O-Oh, this?" Kanade asked, motioning towards the hospital room. She suddenly put on an awkward smile. "It's nothing, really," Kanade said. "Just exhausted, again. You know, like back on the island? I really over trained—"

"Kanade," Makoto said, his voice more forceful. Kanade looked into his eyes, seeing how his brows were resting over his intense green eyes. He was giving a scolding look, as if he was talking to Ran or Ren when they were in trouble. "I found the pills. And the oxygen tank. And now you have a pacemaker…" Makoto paused, worry creasing his forehead. His voice started to quiver as he spoke. "Just tell me what's really going on. Please."

Kanade stared intently into Makoto's eyes, feeling a sting in her chest from his cracking voice. Her lips pulled into a frown and her eyes stared into her lap.

"I…" Kanade started. She gripped the blanket on her lap and her hands shook a little.

 _Will he leave…?_

Kanade gulped. "I have hypertrophic cardiomyopathy."

Makoto blinked at her. He thought he had heard that term before, but was unsure of what exactly it was or how it affected the body.

"It's… basically a fancy term for a heart condition," Kanade continued, avoiding Makoto's gaze. Makoto swallowed, feeling tension in his neck. He took a deep breath, trying to still his quivering voice.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Makoto asked gently. His voice was low and caring.

He watched as Kanade's hands gripped the sheets resting on her lap. She sighed slowly and turned her head to look out the window.

"I was afraid… you'd leave," Kanade said softly.

Makoto's eyes widened. "Leave?" he echoed. "Why would I leave?"

Kanade paused for a moment before turning her head to look at him, her eyes narrowing sadly.

"Everyone leaves," Kanade said sadly. She looked down at her lap again, staring at her hands. "My biological parents gave me up once the doctors noticed something wrong with my heart. Then, I got shifted around in foster homes. That's when I started to show signs of the heart problem. All of my foster parents were overwhelmed by the stress of taking me to the hospital, so the foster care would take me out of their homes and place me back into the system."

Kanade fiddled with the blanket, pursing her lips and swallowing. Her chest felt tight, stress starting to creep up her spine.

"You already know some of the story. I starting swimming when I was in elementary school, and that's where I found my escape, no matter what home I was in. Then, one day I had enough and ran away from the foster care system. I ran until I found the rec center, where I begged Fukui-san to take me in. I knew exactly who he was and that he used to be an Olympic athlete. I stressed to him that I wanted to swim and that he could train me. He was really reluctant at first, but he did eventually let me in."

Kanade sighed and pulled up her knees, holding them gently to her chest. She rested her chin on her knees and tried not to look at the focused green eyes that were staring at her.

"So I lived with him, joining the swim clubs in middle school, winning trophies and whatnot. Then, in high school, I joined the swim team. I also… met this guy in my class."

Kanade moved her eyes away from Makoto, staring out the window again.

"He seemed really nice, and he liked me. So we started dating our first year. Up until then, my heart hadn't really caused too many problems, so I thought that it had gone away. But…" Kanade paused to swallow. "The coach for the swim club was really tough on us, and he increased my regimen. He saw my potential and wanted to push me, and I pushed myself, too. Then, my heart problem started coming back, and I landed in the hospital at the end of the year."

She could hear Makoto gasp next to her and she felt him scoot closer.

"So that's when all the pills started and extra doctor's appointments. My coach was a little concerned, and he told me that I should probably quit the team or take a break. Even Fukui-san said maybe I should tone it down a little. My boyfriend was… getting really impatient with it all. I knew it was starting to wear on him—I could see it in his eyes, how frustrated he was.

"But, he kept by my side. Even up to our third year. I was in the best shape of my life, winning tournaments left and right. With all of the medicines I had been taking, I thought _then_ I had my heart under control.

"But then, at regionals, I pushed myself really hard. I wanted to prove to my coach that I could swim faster. I wanted to prove to Fukui-san that I can swim with this condition. I wanted to prove to Takuya…" Kanade paused and bit her lip as if she had cursed. She closed her eyes, pulling her knees closer. "I wanted to prove to my boyfriend that I was worth something, and that the condition was no big deal."

Kanade sighed and lifted her head to look at the ceiling.

"I won first place, and ended up qualifying for nationals," Kanade started. Her eyes looked incredibly sad, and Makoto was tempted to reach out to her. "I was about to get out of the pool after the race but then… I had a massive heart attack."

* * *

 _"Kanade?! Kanade! Can you hear me?"_

 _Kanade stirred, her chest feeling tight and pained. The room was blurry, but she could hear Fukui's strained voice above her. Her airway felt blocked, and an oxygen mask covered her nose and mouth._

 _Finally, the room became clear, and Kanade could see Fukui standing next to her, holding her head._

 _"Fukui-san…" Kanade whimpered out, her voice muffled by the mask._

 _"Oh, thank God," Fukui said, closing his eyes in relief. "You had a heart attack, Kanade," he explained._

 _"Heart… attack?" Kanade rasped. "How is that…" She glanced around the small hospital room, her eyes straining to see. "Where's…"_

 _"You're going to be okay, though. They managed to get rid of the block," he said._

 _"Where's… Takuya?" Kanade asked through painful gasps. Fukui made a disgusted face._

 _"I'm still not happy that you're still with that guy, but he's in the waiting room," Fukui asked. He sighed and raked his hand through his hair. "I'll go get him."_

 _Fukui left the room, and all Kanade could hear was the annoying beeping of the heart monitor next to her._

 _'Shut up,' Kanade thought. 'So annoying.'_

 _Soon, Fukui came back into the room, a frazzled Takuya reluctantly standing behind him. Fukui gestured for him to sit in the chair next to Kanade, and he hesitantly followed his instruction._

 _"I'm going to fill out some paperwork," Fukui said. "I'll be back in a little bit," he said._

 _Kanade nodded, the mask still on her face. Breathing was still difficult, and she was thankful for the mask. She turned her head to look at Takuya, and she opened her hand to him. Takuya stared at her open hand for a moment before slowly grabbing it. He looked sick and pale, his eyes tired and his hair tousled._

 _"Sorry," Kanade rasped out. "I didn't mean…for this to happen. It… won't happen… again," she said through pained breaths._

 _Takuya sat there silently, his hand barely holding onto hers._

 _"Takuya…?" Kanade called. "Are you…"_

 _"Shizumi."_

 _Kanade's heart jumped, hearing the beeps increasing on the monitor. Did… Did he just call her by her last name?_

 _"I can't do this."_

 _Then, Takuya let go of her hand and turned his head away from her. His eyes were hidden behind his black hair._

 _"I can't do this anymore."_

 _Takuya abruptly stood up from his chair and headed towards the door._

 _"T-Takuya!" Kanade rasped out. She leaned up from the bed, the beeping from the monitors increasing in speed by the second. She was immediately hit with intense pain and dizziness, but she still tried to reach out her hand to stop him. "W-Wait!"_

 _Kanade watched him leave the room, and he never looked back._

 _"Don't leave…" Kanade wheezed. Tears were pouring down her cheeks and nurses had suddenly flooded the room, gently forcing her back down onto the bed. She could faintly hear alarms going off in the room as she slowly lost consciousness._

 _"Don't leave me."_

* * *

"So… he ended up saying that and then he left. When I got better and went back to school, he had told everyone that he dumped me. He was even dating my friend Yuki." Kanade swallowed and rubbed her arm. "I tried talking to him, but he ignored me as if I didn't exist. He never spoke to me again. Just like everyone did when they found out. My parents, all of the foster parents, my friends… they all leave," Kanade said.

Tears started to fall down her cheeks while her shoulders trembled. Her hands gripped the sheets once again as she tried to calm down.

"That's why I left Iwatobi so early," Kanade explained. "I was afraid that you would find out. I was so scared so… I ran away." Kanade started to sob, tremors starting to rack her body. She closed her eyes, forcing more tears to fall down. "I'm so scared," she added, her voice a whisper.

Suddenly, Kanade felt a warm hand cup her cheek. Her eyes popped open, and she was greeted with brown hair. Makoto had gently embraced her, resting his cheek against hers. Kanade's heart thumped against her ribs, and she was thankful the monitor next to her was muted.

"I'm not going to leave," Makoto said softly in her ear. Kanade's eyes widened at his words, still stiff that he was so close. She could smell his cologne lingering on his neck, sending her heart into overdrive. "I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere." Kanade felt more tears slide down her cheeks. "I promise."

With those last words, Kanade shuddered and sobbed, reaching up with her hands to clutch onto Makoto's shirt. She buried her head into his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight to his chest as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"It's okay," Makoto said softly. "I'm right here, and I'm staying."

Makoto held Kanade for what seemed like ages, not noticing that Fukui was standing in the doorway, witnessing the entire thing.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

* * *

"Hey, Kanade!"

Kanade looked up from her book and smiled, seeing Makoto at the doorway of her hospital room. He had gone home for the night before, and came right back early in the morning, just as he promised. He was wearing a nice button-up shirt and dark jeans. She could already smell his cologne as it lingered in through the room. Her cheeks reddened.

"How're you feeling?" Makoto asked, sliding the glass door shut behind him.

"Ah, much better than yesterday," Kanade said. She put her hand up to her chest. "It feels weird."

Makoto plopped down on the chair beside her bed. "The pacemaker?" Makoto asked.

"Yeah," Kanade replied. "Not used to it, I guess." Kanade gave him a small smile.

"I'm sure you'll be fine," Makoto said. "I brought you some things!" Makoto said, holding up a bag. Kanade sat up and crossed her legs underneath the blanket, her eyes widening in curiosity.

Makoto pulled out some fresh clothes for Kanade and a book, along with her favorite black hoodie. Kanade smiled at him, smiling happily.

"You really didn't have to do this, Makoto," Kanade said.

"Of course I did!" Makoto said. "You're going home this afternoon. You needed some clean clothes. And I brought a new book for you. I didn't want you to get bored while waiting."

He tilted his head and gave her his best smile, and Kanade's heart pounded, the pacemaker making her chest flutter nervously.

"Oh, I've got one more thing!" Makoto said.

Makoto dug into the bag and pulled out a small, rectangular black box. Kanade raised a brow as he handed to her. She put her fingers on the lid and carefully opened up the box. Her eyes widened.

Sitting inside was the hair stick Makoto had given her at the festival. The stick was in one piece, no noticeable cracks in it whatsoever. The flower at the top was also fixed, the chunk that had broken was now whole and sparkling beautifully. Kanade glanced up at Makoto, her eyes wide.

"You… fixed it?" Kanade said.

"Ah, yeah," Makoto said bashfully. He rubbed the back of his neck and smiled, a hint of red coating his cheeks. "It looks good on you so… I wanted you to be able to wear it again."

"Makoto…" Kanade whispered. She ran her fingers around the flower at the top and smiled. "Thank you!" she said, and Makoto nodded happily. She then paused to look down at the stick again, her smile falling. "I didn't mean to break it."

Makoto frowned after seeing her deflated expression. "It was an accident," Makoto said. "You don't need to apologize."

"Well, if I hadn't run away from you guys in the first place, then it wouldn't have gotten broken," Kanade said with a small, sad smile. Makoto paused, his hands curling into loose fists in his lap.

"About that…" Makoto whispered. Kanade's smile dissipated again and she stared at into Makoto's eyes. "I… Haru didn't… those things he said to you… he didn't mean it, I'm sure."

Kanade's eyebrows pressed together nervously. "How do you know about that?" she asked. Makoto scratched his head.

"After you went to bed that night, Haru asked to talk. He told me that you were hiding something from me," Makoto said. Kanade winced a little at his words but stilled when she heard Makoto chuckle a little. "He said you were doing performance-enhancing drugs."

Kanade blinked a few times. "What?" she asked. Makoto shrugged at her.

"Apparently there's this rumor going around that you're doing drugs and that's why you were able to beat Watabe-san," Makoto said.

Kanade's eyes widened, and she raised a hand to rub her chin. "Wow, that makes so much sense now," she said. "No wonder Watabe hates me!" Kanade said, breaking out into a small laugh, and Makoto smiled at her.

"I'm sure she doesn't hate you," Makoto said. He dropped his head to look into his lap, thinking of Haru. "Just… upset, I guess."

Kanade stared back at the hair stick, her fingers running down the side of the box that gently cradled it. She peered at Makoto's sad smile and pursed her lips. She opened her mouth to speak, but Makoto beat her to it.

"So, like I said, I'm sure Haru didn't mean to hurt you," Makoto said, lifting his head to meet her eyes.

"Maybe..." Kanade started, biting her lip. "Maybe you should explain to him what's really going on then," Kanade suggested slowly.

"Oh," Makoto said, rubbing his neck. "Yeah. Maybe," he said, lowering his gaze back to his lap.

Kanade raised a brow, waiting for Makoto to speak again. But when he remained silent, she opened her mouth. "Makoto? What's wrong?" she asked.

"Makoto? What's wrong?" she asked.

"Eh? O-Oh, nothing!" Makoto defended.

"Makoto, please," Kanade said. Makoto locked eyes with her, her blue eyes staring intensely back into his. "You said you would be here for me. Well... th-the same goes for me! I-I'm here for you, too."

"K-Kanade," Makoto stammered. He sighed, his tense shoulders sagging finally. He dropped his head and let it hang, staring at the tile floor. "Well, we kind of got into a fight that night," Makoto started.

"A fight?" Kanade repeated. "What… about?"

"Ah, well… you, mostly," Makoto explained.

"M-Me?" Kanade stammered. She shifted uncomfortably in the bed.

"Well, he said there was a rumor of you doing drugs and that I shouldn't hang out with you since you were a bad influence," Makoto said. "He said he didn't want me to get hurt."

Kanade lowered her head, remembering Haru telling her the same thing.

"I told him that I couldn't trust a rumor without proof," Makoto said, and Kanade shot her head up to look at him in disbelief. Makoto had defended her? She watched him as he then lowered his head to look into his lap. "Then, it kind of escalated from there and he shut me out… I haven't spoken to him since then."

"W-What?!" Kanade yelled, and Makoto popped his head back up. "What do you mean you haven't spoken to him since then?!"

"A-Ah, well…" Makoto said.

"Makoto, that was... that was _days_ ago!" she said.

"Mmn," Makoto hummed. "I know."

"You need to talk to him," Kanade said. "He doesn't know the truth."

"I know," Makoto said again, putting his hands up to cover his face. "I will."

* * *

"Prefecturals are one week away, guys!" Gou announced at lunch that day. The five of them were on the roof at school, back to being busy students after a productive break.

"So soon?" one of the first-years piped up.

"That's right," Gou answered. "So that means we need to start working on the relay."

"Which one of us is doing backstroke on the team?" the other first-year asked.

"It's definitely you," his fellow first-year commented.

"M-Me?"

"Definitely. Your backstroke is faster than mine. Besides, I'd rather be manager-in-training…"

"He's got a point," Dai mentioned as he casually ate his lunch.

"What?!"

"Then that settles it!" Gou said, putting her hands on her hips.

"W-Wait a minute, don't I get a say?!"

Nagisa and Rei watched their fellow teammates with small smiles on their faces. They were both unusually quiet, their minds racing. Rei was starting to calculate all of the theories in his mind about the perfect dive, making sure he did not go in at too steep of an angle. He wanted to make sure that he looked at beautiful as he could possibly—

"Hey, Rei-chan," Nagisa suddenly said, pulling Rei out of his thoughts. Rei looked down at his blond friend, seeing a small smile on his face. His expression was a little odd. The smile was there, but it still seemed somewhat sad. "This is our last year doing this, huh?"

Then, Rei suddenly figured out what Nagisa's expression was.

It was nostalgia.

Rei put on a small, nostalgic smile himself and glanced down at his blond teammate. "Yeah, I suppose so," he answered. They stared at Gou and their kouhai, all laughing and picking on each other.

"Remember when Gou-chan inspected our bento?" Nagisa asked quietly.

"Ah, yes, I do remember that," Rei said. He hung his head dramatically. "I thought for sure my lunch would pass Gou-san's expectations."

"Hehe, even Mako-chan failed, Rei-chan!" Nagisa said with a small smile. Rei lifted his head at Nagisa and nodded in agreement.

They glanced their teammates, and suddenly they could both picture Makoto and Haru sitting against the wall together, with Gou sitting and chatting with them. Haru obviously had mackerel again for lunch and Gou was scolding him for not having a balanced lunch. Makoto was simply just chuckling at them, his pure laugh bouncing in the air.

Then after the scolding from Gou, Makoto would save Haru and talk to her about the day's regimen and schedule, or he would bring up Rin or Samezuka. Haru would remain silent and let Makoto do the talking as he finished his lunch in peace.

The imaginary scene was peaceful and nostalgic, pricking the hearts of both Nagisa and Rei.

"It's weird not having them around, isn't it, Rei-chan?" Nagisa asked, his voice quiet. Rei hummed in agreement and glanced down at Nagisa. His smile was subdued and his eyes were staring at the ground.

"It is strange being the senpai, now," Rei agreed. "Haruka-senpai was certainly an inspiration for me. And Makoto-senpai always knew the exact words to say to us." Rei turned his gaze back to his teammates.

"Mako-chan did know always what to say," Nagisa said, his voice still quiet. "He started up the club again, after all. He was really fit to be a captain."

Rei glanced down at Nagisa, noticing that his shoulders deflated. He lifted his head and furrowed his brows, putting on a confident face as he stared at his teammates.

"You are doing an exceptional job at being captain, Nagisa-kun," Rei said.

Nagisa's eyes widened and he shot a glance up at Rei. Rei had a hard look on his face, but his cheeks were dusted pink. Nagisa felt his stomach bubble with excitement and he lunged forward to tackle Rei in a hug.

"N-Nagisa-kun!" Rei shouted, surprised.

"You're the best, Rei-chan!"

"H-Hey! What are you guys doing?!"

"Rei-senpai?!"

"Nagisa-senpai?"

* * *

"Oh, good afternoon, Makoto," Fukui said as he entered the room. He was holding another coffee in his hands. His voice was low and foggy and his shoulders sagged. Dark circles sat below his tired eyes, making him look completely exhausted.

"G-Good afternoon, Fukui-san," Makoto stuttered, a little taken aback by Fukui's disheveled appearance.

"I guess I get to go home here in a bit," Kanade said to him.

"Yeah," Fukui said, plopping down in a chair in the corner.

Kanade and Makoto exchanged weary glances. "What's up, Fukui-san?" Kanade asked, and Fukui sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"You're really not going to like me today," Fukui said. Kanade's brows knitted together nervously.

"What are you—"

"Ah, good afternoon, Shizumi-chan!"

Kanade turned her head towards the door and saw a familiar doctor standing in the doorway. He was a little short and wore glasses. He had a kind smile, but a very confident demeanor.

Kanade sighed, stifling a groan.

"Dr. Koji," Kanade said plainly. There was a hint of agitation in her voice. "Not so nice seeing you again."

"Well, the same goes for me, kid," Dr. Koji said. "You know I don't like seeing you in here."

"Yeah... I know," Kanade said.

Dr. Koji walked up to the bed and glanced down at her chart, inspecting it carefully.

"Have you been keeping up with your meds?" he asked.

"Ahh, w-well…" Kanade said. "Sort of…?"

Both Makoto and Fukui gave her shocked looks, Fukui's face borderline furious. Kanade gulped and looked back up at the doctor.

"I… stopped taking anything four or five days ago," Kanade answered honestly, her voice now subdued.

"I see," Dr. Koji said, his smile vanishing. "What about the oxygen tank I prescribed? Did that help you with your training at all?"

"Ah, yes, it did," Kanade said. "But… I haven't used that in four days, either," Kanade said.

Dr. Koji sighed. "I prescribed that _specifically_ so you could train as a professional athlete. And now you're telling me you aren't using it?"

Kanade winced and put on a guilty face, staring up at him. Her grip on the blanket tightened, and Makoto wanted nothing more than to reach out and grab her hands.

"Don't look at me like that," Dr. Koji said with a sigh. He put the chart down and took off his glasses to wipe his eyes. "Now, I'm sure you already know why I'm really here."

Kanade looked down at her lap. "Mmn," she hummed quietly.

Makoto stared at her face. Her eyes looked vacant, the very opposite of what he's used to seeing.

This expression was something he hated to see on her face.

"You need to slow down," Dr. Koji said. "If you have another attack like this, it could be fatal."

Makoto stared up at the doctor with widened eyes.

 _Fatal...?_

A shiver rushed down his spine and goosebumps formed on his arms. He glanced at Kanade, who had grit her teeth, her fists clenching the blanket on her lap painfully.

"I can't just stop training," Kanade said through gritted teeth. She looked back up at Dr. Koji with desperate eyes. "The qualifiers for the national team are coming up. I have a chance to be in the Olympics!"

"You won't even make it to the qualifiers if you don't rest and take your medicine," Dr. Koji said.

Kanade snapped her mouth shut, realizing the truth in his statement, and her eyes filled with tears. She thought they were about to spill when she felt a hand grab her fist. She sharply turned her head towards Makoto, who was wearing a worried expression on his face and his hand carefully covering her fist.

"You need to give your heart a break," Dr. Koji said. "Tell your coach you need at least two weeks so the stitching heals. I'd prefer it if you quit altogether—"

"No," Kanade whined.

"—but of course that isn't an option," Dr. Koji said. He put on his glasses and gave a warm smile. "Just promise you'll take better care of yourself?"

Kanade felt Makoto squeeze her hand and she turned her head to study him. Makoto was busy looking down at his shoes, a small blush coating the anxious look on his face. Kanade felt her heart clench at seeing such a face, and she turned back to Dr. Koji.

"I'll be more careful. And I'll rest," Kanade promised. "But, if I take the meds, use the tank… I can still try out for the national team, right?"

"Only if you do those things," Dr. Koji replied. "I'll be requiring extra appointments for you, though."

Kanade sighed in defeat. "Fine," she agreed.

"There. That wasn't so bad, was it?" Dr. Koji said. Kanade pursed her lips and pouted impatiently at him, making him chuckle. "Yeah, yeah, I'm getting out of your hair. You're free to go home whenever you're ready."

With those parting words, Dr. Koji left the room, allowing Kanade to breathe. She slumped back against the bed and draped her free arm over her eyes, her other hand still in Makoto's grasp.

"You okay, Kanade?" Makoto asked gently.

Kanade removed the arm from her eyes and looked at him, giving him a small smile.

"Yeah. Thank you for being here, Makoto," she said.

Makoto smiled, squeezing her hand again. He nodded at her. "Of course."

"All right," Fukui said, standing to his feet. "Let's get you home."

After Kanade had changed clothes and Fukui finished filling out some forms, they were released from the hospital. They hailed a cab, and Makoto helped Kanade climb in first. She slumped in the seat, feeling more drained than she had originally thought. Makoto got in on the other side, and Fukui sat up front next to the driver.

Kanade started to nod, her head and eyes feeling heavy. She ended up falling to the side, her head landing on Makoto's shoulder. Makoto tensed, his back stiffening and his face starting to burn hot. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. He relaxed when he noticed that she was asleep, and a small smile tugged on his lips.

Once they got to their apartment, Makoto carefully shook Kanade awake. He helped her get out of the cab and helped her to the side of the rec center. He fished for his keys in his pocket as Fukui walked up to him.

"I'm going to the pharmacy to get her meds," Fukui told him. "Can you keep an eye on her while I'm gone?"

"Of course," Makoto said, and he waved Fukui off.

Makoto then grabbed onto Kanade's shoulders and helped her up the steps into their apartment. Once inside, Makoto steered her towards the couch and let her plop down on it. An exasperated sigh escaped her lips as she let her head fall back on the couch.

"I'll make you some tea," Makoto said.

"Mmm, that sounds great," Kanade said, trying to sit up.

After a few minutes, Makoto returned with two cups of tea, carefully handing one to Kanade. Kanade thanked him and sat up completely, letting a quiet groan hum in her throat.

"Still in pain?" Makoto asked, his brows furrowed.

"A little," Kanade said. "I'll be okay. Thanks," Kanade said, flashing him a smile.

Makoto nodded, a worried smile now on his face, and he sat down next to her on the couch. He took a few sips of his tea, enjoying the comfortable silence that fell between them.

 _Huh. This is… familiar,_ Makoto thought. _I'm used to this kind of quietness when I'm with…_

Makoto's smile fell from his face, remembering the fight he had with Haru just a few days ago. Maybe he should call?

Wait, no. Haru would want to be left alone.

Right?

"So are you going to talk to Nanase-kun?" Kanade asked. Makoto jumped at hearing her sudden question.

Was she reading his mind now?

"Ah, well… I will," Makoto said.

"When?" Kanade asked, her eyes getting groggy.

"Soon," Makoto said, and then he lifted the cup of tea to his lips.

"Makoto," Kanade whined.

Makoto took a long time to gulp down his tea.

"I'll call him… once you recover," Makoto said, putting down his empty cup.

" _Makoto_."

"Ugh…" Makoto groaned and slumped down on the couch and covered his face with a pillow.

"You _need_ to talk to him," Kanade said, trying to take the pillow from his face.

"I know I do," Makoto sighed.

"Then what's the problem?" Kanade asked gently, finally able to take the pillow away from Makoto's grasp. She raised a brow at him, staring down at his dejected green eyes. "You just need to explain everything to him."

"I…" Makoto stammered. "I'm scared that it's too late," he said. "He looked really upset, and I felt that I broke my trust with him."

 _"You trust_ her _more than you trust_ me!"

Makoto shuddered at hearing Haru's hurting voice echo in his head. He started to scold himself for not being there longer, not forcing Haru to stay and listen. He should have tried harder. He should have explained things better.

"I'm scared of losing him," Makoto said, putting his face in his hands. He sighed into his hands, feeling vulnerable and defenseless.

But then, he felt hands grab his wrists. He jumped at first, but relaxed when he noticed Kanade pulling his hands off of his face. She had a serious look on her face, but her eyebrows were arched gently.

"I'm sure Nanase-kun is scared of losing you, too," Kanade said. Makoto felt his heart jump at her words, and he hung his head.

"Yeah."

* * *

Thank you all for your comments and support! I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

More to come!


	25. Chapter 25

Hi there!

Thank you all for your support and comments. You are all lovely and amazing!

I am still a little new to this website and I didn't know that certain comments had to be approved before they were posted. I apologize greatly if your comment was removed or if you haven't seen it! I read all of your comments and they always warm my heart every time, so I was confused as to why some comments didn't make it online.

I have changed my settings so you should be able to see your comment right away.

SO so sorry again!

Thank you and enjoy :)

* * *

Chapter 25

* * *

"Kanade, are you sure you're up for going to class? I'm sure the professors won't mind you missing the first day back."

"Yes, yes, I can walk just fine!"

"But, you only got out of the hospital four days ago…"

"Makoto."

Kanade was putting on her shoes at the doorway, warning him with a harsh frown. Makoto rung his hands in front of him, worry causing him to fidget.

"Yes, but..." Makoto started, his mouth going dry. He paused to bite his lip and his voice became soft. "But, Kanade… you had a _heart attack_. You shouldn't be moving around so much."

"I know, I know…" Kanade said softly. She smiled gently at him as she stood to her feet. "I'm taking it easy. No swimming, I know. You ready to go class now?"

"O-Oh, uh, sure," Makoto said. He was about to follow after her but then he stopped. "Ah, wait, I forgot my book!" he whined, and then rushed back to his bedroom.

Kanade raised a brow at him curiously. Makoto was not usually this forgetful, was he? A few seconds later, Makoto came back with his books under his arm.

"You ready now?" Kanade asked.

"Yeah! Let's go."

Kanade led the way out of the apartment and started down the steps. Makoto followed closely behind, his eyes monitoring her every move. After walking out of the alleyway, they passed in front of the rec center, and Kanade stared up at the front of it before turning her head to Makoto.

"Your first class with the kids starts this next Monday. Are you excited?" Kanade asked.

"Oh! That's right!" Makoto said. He reached up a hand to massage his neck. "Yeah, I suppose I'm ready. I just hope I'll be able to teach them."

Kanade's smile fell from her face as she listened to Makoto's shaky voice. He was so excited about it before. She remembered him telling her stories of when he volunteered at his old swim club for a little while, and how much he loved it. He was even disappointed when Goro found a replacement.

"What are you talking about? You're so good with kids!" Kanade said.

Makoto kept his gaze straight ahead, his green eyes vacant and dulled. His lips were pulled into a small frown.

"I don't know, I just don't want to mess up," Makoto said.

Kanade raised a brow at him. "Are you okay?" Kanade asked, and Makoto faltered in his pace, stumbling a few steps and yelping.

"H-Huh? Y-Yeah, I'm fine," Makoto squeaked.

Kanade furrowed her brows in worry. "Okay, if you say so."

They walked on the busy campus where several students were already rushing to get to their classes. Both Kanade and Makoto sighed once they set foot in the courtyard.

"Break was so nice," Kanade whined. "Can't we have another week off?"

Makoto chuckled lightly. "C'mon, let's go to class."

Kanade pouted and followed Makoto into their normal building and then down the hall to the large classroom. The classroom was half full of familiar students, some sleeping while others were getting their notes out. Kanade and Makoto walked up the stairs on the side to take their normal seats.

Kanade took out her books and notebook and set them on the table in front of her. She opened her notebook to read through her old notes to jog her memory of what they learned before the break, but she paused when she noticed Makoto still digging through his bag. He seemed flustered.

"What's wrong, Makoto?" Kanade asked. Makoto sighed and leaned up.

"I forgot my glasses," Makoto said. "I'm not going to be able to see today." He rubbed his face with his hands.

"Don't worry about it," Kanade said, making Makoto turn to face her. "I'll let you borrow my notes later." Makoto's face lit up a little, a smile coming to his face for the first time that morning.

"You're the best," Makoto said softly. He turned back towards the front of the room and got his books ready.

Kanade carefully studied his face, noticing that his smile faded instantly and his eyelids appeared heavy. Did he get any sleep at all last night? How much stress is he hiding underneath that smile?

She had noticed the past few days that he had seemed a little strange. He would stay up late and then be up early. The bags under his eyes had deepened along with the dark circles that accompanied them. Ever since the hospital...

Was Makoto really okay?

Throughout the rest of the week, Makoto had repeated similar blunders. He forgot his books or his glasses on several occasions, and he strained his eyes to see the board. The straining gave him terrible headaches but refused to let Kanade help him. And since he could not really see, he would often doze off during class, prompting Kanade to gently nudge him in the ribs with her elbow.

What was worse was that Makoto was doting on Kanade all of the time, telling her that she needed rest and that she should take it easy.

Kanade had had enough. By the end of the week, she was about to explode with impatience.

"K-Kanade, you really shouldn't go running," Makoto said.

" _Makoto_ ," Kanade whined as she put on her shoes. "If I don't exercise, I won't be in shape for swim practice next week."

"But Dr. Koji said—"

"I _know_ what Dr. Koji said," Kanade snapped as she tied her laces on her shoes.

Makoto stood silently for a moment before he rubbed his arm shyly, a little taken aback and stunned silent by Kanade's frustrated outburst. He hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck.

 _Haru would get frustrated sometimes, wouldn't he?_ Makoto asked himself. _What did I do when he got frustrated? Ah, well, I guess it would depend on the situation…_

"Sorry," Kanade apologized, snapping him out of his thoughts. He stared down at her, locking eyes with her. "It's just… you've been acting really strange lately, Makoto."

"Eh? Strange?" Makoto squeaked. "I-I'm fine! I was just going to make sure you—"

"Have you called Nanase-kun yet?" Kanade interrupted.

"E-Eh?" Makoto stuttered and scratched his head. "Well… no, but—"

"Seriously?!" Kanade said, standing to her feet. "Makoto, you need to talk to him."

"I will, just… give it time," Makoto said.

"Why? I don't understand why you're procrastinating this." Kanade slung her bag over her shoulder and put her hand on the door. "I don't want to be what comes in between you two," Kanade muttered, and then she thrust the door open and stormed out.

"Kanade! Wait!" Makoto called, but Kanade slammed the door in his face, and Makoto stumbled back a few steps. He rubbed his neck nervously. "You're not… coming in between us."

* * *

"Nanase! Push through it! Come on, I know you've got more in you!"

Haru finally reached the wall and slammed his hand against it, popping his head out of the water to gasp for air. He held onto the wall to support himself as he regained his breath and calmed his heart.

That was way too hard.

"Nanase."

Haru lifted his head and saw his coach standing above him with a frustrated frown on his face and his arms crossed in front of his chest. Haru pulled his goggles and swim cap off and stared up at his coach.

"If your times keep going like this, then I won't be recommending you for the tryouts," he said gruffly. Haru blinked at him, remaining silent. His coach sighed and brought up a hand to massage his brows. "It's been a few days since classes started again, and your times are worse. Just what were you doing over break?"

Haru felt his heart flutter as he recalled all of the events that happened over break. Flashes of Makoto and Kanade's hurt faces crowded his memory and he shook his head to fling the thoughts out of his mind. He stared back down into the water and watched as drops of water fell into the pool with tiny splashes. He sighed quietly through his nose, unable to say a word back to his coach.

"I'll give you a week to improve your times," his coach said. He turned his back to Haru and started to walk away. "I'll make a decision then."

Haru kept staring at the water, wondering why it was starting to betray him again. Was it because of guilt? Or fear?

Or the fact that Makoto had not spoken to him in almost a week?

"I thought you said you were going to fix things."

Haru glanced up again and lowered his brows. Of course.

Torii. Again.

 _Annoying,_ Haru thought.

"What happened?" Torii asked, lending Haru a hand. Haru stared at the hand for a moment, almost in disgust. But he begrudgingly accepted it and let Torii pull him out of the water. "Did you talk to Tachibana about the rumors?"

Haru hesitated for a moment before answered with a quiet hum. He walked towards the locker room with Torii following.

"And?" Torii asked as they walked into the locker room. Haru grabbed his towel from his locker and started drying off his hair.

"We had a fight," Haru said.

Torii's face softened at Haru's words. "A fight?"

"Yeah," Haru mumbled.

Torii stayed quiet, carefully trying to gauge Haru's mood. He watched Haru put on a shirt without another word about it. Torii sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"What did you guys fight about?" Torii asked. Haru knelt down to put his things in his bag.

"Shizumi," Haru answered simply. "I…" Haru bit his lip, not wanting to continue, but Torii's concerned face swayed him to speak. "I told Shizumi off during break. Told her that I knew about her secret, and if she stayed near Makoto, I would tell him her secret."

"Whoa," Torii responded. "That's quite the threat. I'm guessing she didn't take it well."

Haru furrowed his brows and narrowed his eyes as he recalled Kanade's face that night.

"I made her cry," Haru said. Torii dropped his jaw a little and stared back at Haru.

"Ah, geez," Torii sighed. He leaned down to pick up his shirt. "She tell Tachibana?" he asked as he put the shirt on.

Haru paused, his thoughts transporting him back to that night. Wait, did she tell him?

 _"Is… everything okay?"_

 _"Um…"_

 _"Yep!"_

Haru's eyes widened, his chest feeling a little tight. Kanade had kept her mouth shut after all.

"No, she didn't tell him," Haru said. "I told Makoto about it. And he said he didn't believe the rumors. That's when we fought and… we haven't spoken since then. That was… last week."

Torii zipped up his bag, taking in all of Haru's words. "Maybe the rumors are just rumors," Torii suggested.

"Mmn," Haru hummed.

"You should try to work things out," Torii said. "For real, this time."

"I know," Haru said.

After they grabbed their bags, they headed out of the locker room and towards the gate.

"Maybe you should go over to Tachibana's place," Torii said. Haru kept his gaze on the ground. "I don't want to see you removed from the tryouts," Torii added. Haru stared at the ground sadly and sighed quietly through his nose.

"Sorry," Haru apologized.

"Huh?" Torii squeaked. "What're you sorry for?"

"For how I've been acting," Haru said. "I've been selfish."

"H-Haru…"

"Masato," Haru started, making Torii jump at hearing his first name again. "I think you should talk to the coach about letting you try out."

"M-Me?" Torii stuttered.

"Mmn," Haru hummed. "I think you're good enough to try."

Torii blinked at him a few times, his mouth hanging open but unable to speak. Haru turned his head to look up at him and he raised a brow.

"What?" Haru asked.

"Ah, n-nothing!" Torii flushed, rubbing the back of his neck. They walked out of the gate and onto the street. "Just promise you'll talk to Tachibana soon."

"Yeah, I…" Haru's voice drifted off and he stopped in his tracks. Torii raised a brow at him, wondering what he was staring at.

"Haru?" Torii started. He followed Haru's gaze to the bus stop outside of the school. "What's..."

Leaning against the outside of the bus stop was none other than Kanade. She had her hands in the pockets of her hoodie, and her black hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She had a sullen and tired expression on her face as she studied her shoes.

"Well, well," Torii started, his lips turning into a small smile. "What do you suppose _she's_ here for?" Haru cut a glance at him.

"Ah, N-Nanase-kun!"

Haru whipped his head back towards the bus stop to see Kanade gingerly approaching them. Haru felt his chest tighten, remembering the last time he saw her. He wanted to look away and avoid eye contact altogether but he forced himself to look at her. She approached with a timid smile, and she lightly bowed to them both.

"G-Good to see you both again!" Kanade greeted. She leaned back up at looked at Torii. "It was… Torii-san, right?"

Torii jumped, a look of surprise replacing his kind smile. "Oh, uh, yeah! I'm surprised you remembered."

Kanade's smile widened a little, looking less strained. "I try to remember people I meet." She then turned to Haru, putting on a cowering face. "Ah, Nanase-kun… do you think we could… talk?"

Haru widened his eyes a little, feeling his chest pang. He looked around Kanade, trying to see if Makoto was behind her or next to her.

But there was no Makoto in sight.

"Well, I'll be off," Torii said. Haru whipped his head up to him, flashing him a begging look as if to say _don't leave._ Torii caught this but smiled down at him instead. "I'll see you back at the room. See you later, Shizumi!"

"Ah, later!" Kanade called, waving to Torii as he left. Once he was gone, there was a moment of awkward silence as Kanade tried to gather her words together. "I… I was going to go pick up dinner on the way back to the rec center... if you want, I can show you the pool," Kanade said.

"S-Sure," Haru said. Kanade's eyes widened a little and a small, nervous smile appeared on her face.

"Cool," Kanade said, pointing down the street. "It's not too far. Wanna check it out?"

Haru hesitated, staring hard at Kanade with an unreadable expression. His gaze made Kanade feel a little nervous, and her smile faded and she looked down at the ground. Her hands nervously fidgeted with the hem of her hoodie.

"Yeah," Haru finally said. Kanade popped her head back up to look at him with wide eyes.

"Oh, good," Kanade said, forcing a smile on her face. "It's this way!"

Kanade turned and started heading down the street with Haru walking next to her. They walked in complete silence, which Haru was fine with, but he found it odd. Usually, Kanade would try to fill in the silence, just like she did that night of the festival.

Haru glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. She was studying the ground carefully, her lips pulled into a small frown. Her eyes were a bit droopy and the dark circles under her eyes made her face look pale. Haru winced.

She looked absolutely exhausted.

They finally arrived at a small restaurant, Kanade glancing up at the name in the entrance. She turned to Haru and gave him a kind smile.

"Th-They are small, but pretty good," Kanade said shakily. She pulled open the door and led a hesitant Haru inside. Kanade walked up to the counter and waited, turning her head to Haru. "You should get the mackerel special sometime. Trust me, it's really good," Kanade said with a small smile.

 _Trust me._

Haru could have scoffed at the irony of her statement.

Soon, the worker behind the counter took Kanade's order of green curry, and then returned with a plastic bag. She thanked him, and then led Haru out of the restaurant and towards the station. They boarded the train and sat down next to each other in an almost-empty car.

Haru kept eyeing Kanade, noticing that she was still quiet. She was biting her lip, keeping her narrowed eyes on the floor and avoiding Haru's harsh stares. Soon, Haru sighed, wondering when the 'talking' would happen. He glanced out the window, watching the scenery whip by at lightning speed.

"I…" Kanade paused. Haru turned his eyes back to her, but she kept her eyes on the ground. "I heard you and Makoto had a fight."

Haru felt his heart leap in his chest, and his jaw dropped slightly. He blinked at her in response, unsure of what exactly to say. When Kanade glanced up from the ground to look at Haru, she winced.

"S-Sorry," she apologized. "I kind of forced it out of him." She twisted the loops of the plastic bag in her fingers, making a little noise to fill the awkward silence. "Nanase-kun… he's… Makoto's not doing so well," Kanade started.

Haru's face turned from cautious to worried in an instant, and Kanade took note. She put down the bag in the empty seat next to her, staring down at it as if it was her child.

"What do you mean? Is he okay?" Haru asked, trying to get Kanade to look at him. Kanade swallowed and quietly sighed through her nose before continuing.

"He's not sleeping and he's hardly eating. And… school is stressing him out and it's only been a week back," Kanade said. She studied her fingers in her lap, watching as her thumbs circled each other in a nervous dance. "His new swim class job starts on Monday, but he seems really anxious about it. It's as if he's afraid he won't be able to do it or… that he doesn't want to do it at all."

The train jostled a little, a faint scraping noise filling in the momentary silence. Kanade paused, taking a risky glance at Haru's intense stare.

"New… job?" Haru repeated. Kanade blinked a few times.

"O-Oh, right!" Kanade stammered. "He's going to be working at the rec center now. My old man was able to start up lessons for kids," she explained.

"He never told me that," Haru whispered, looking at the ground. Kanade jumped, feeling as if she said something she was not supposed to.

"W-Well, I'm sure it didn't come up since you two haven't really been… talking." Kanade's voice trailed off as she lowered her head to avoid eye contact.

Haru winced, turning his head away from her. They rode some more in silence, the only sound of the train knocking on the tracks. Haru watched the scenery pass by outside the window again and sighed. What exactly did Kanade want? She's dragging him out of the way for what? A pool?

 _What is it you really want?_

Haru glanced at Kanade and saw that she was studying her shoes. Her lidded eyes were dulled, and her lips were pulled into a fatigued frown. Haru quickly looked away from her and sighed again. He could feel guilt starting to creep up his neck as cold sweat started to bead on his back.

"Nanase-kun."

Haru slowly turned his head back to her, giving her an apprehensive stare, but she was still gazing at her shoes.

"I… I want you to talk to Makoto," Kanade said softly.

Haru's eyes widened, watching as Kanade turned her head to meet his eyes. Her eyes were pleading as her brows pushed together anxiously, creating a deep crease. Her trembling hands gripped her seat, turning her knuckles white.

"It's killing him that you guys aren't on good terms," Kanade added.

Haru's shoulders tensed as his body stiffened in the uncomfortable seat of the train. He opened his mouth to speak when the announcer on the train called out the next station.

"Ah, this is the stop," Kanade said, abruptly standing to her feet. She grabbed the plastic bag and walked towards the sliding doors. Haru scrambled to his feet and followed her out of the station.

They walked past a few stores in the quickly dimming city and past Makoto and Kanade's university. Haru eyed it carefully, his gaze studying the campus entrance. There were several students fleeing the campus in groups, several of them laughing and goofing off with each other. Haru winced, remembering how considerate Makoto would be with him— just talking lightly, no excessive touching. Makoto would not even force Haru to talk, which Haru appreciated every time.

"He said he wanted to give you space," Kanade said suddenly, ripping Haru from his nostalgic flashbacks. "At first, I understood. But, then he started to stress out. It was as if… he was pretending to be someone else."

Haru pursed his lips and stared down at the sidewalk. He knew all too well what Kanade was referring to. Whenever something was bothering Makoto, it was as if he would try to put on an act to hide it. Even in middle school, Makoto was struggling to change himself. It hurt Haru so much to see him that way, and he never wanted to see Makoto force himself to be something he wasn't.

But it sounds like it's happening all over again. Haru kicked himself mentally for allowing it to happen.

Suddenly, Kanade turned down an alleyway, and Haru paused, watching her open a lone door. She turned back to him and cowered slightly, unable to read Haru's intimidating gaze.

"Ah, I… I want to drop off this first before I show you the pool," Kanade stuttered.

Haru blinked a few times before following her through the open door and up the steps. Once they made it to the top, Kanade froze, her hand on the door.

"Makoto… he…" Kanade paused to bite her lip. Haru stared at her, waiting for her to continue. She inhaled sharply and then she stared at Haru with a serious expression. "He needs you in his life, Nanase."

Haru's chest clenched tightly, his heart dropping like a rock. He opened his mouth to speak again, but Kanade beat him to it.

"I'm really sorry," Kanade interrupted. Haru blinked at her, confused by her sudden apology. "For taking him away from you."

Haru jolted, remembering Rin's words.

 _"You're scared of Makoto leaving you. Of him replacing you with her."_

"Sh-Shizu—"

"I don't want to get in the way of your friendship with him," Kanade interrupted again. She looked up at him with a sad smile. "So I'll take a step back."

She opened the door and nodded towards it, inviting Haru inside. Haru raised a brow, but stepped through the doorway. He turned towards the doorway, waiting for her to follow.

But as soon as he turned, the plastic bag was thrust into his chest.

"Here, this is for Makoto!" Kanade said.

Haru stared at her strangely, his eyes widening in shock as his hands gripped the bag. Kanade gave him a shy smile before waving at him and slamming the door shut.

"O-Oi! Shizumi!" Haru called. He could hear her footsteps as she padded down the stairs. "Oi!" Haru growled.

"Ah, Kanade, are you home?"

Haru froze at the familiar sound of his best friend's voice. He heard footsteps from behind, and he turned to face away from the door.

"I, uh, I was thinking about what you said and—"

On the opposite side of the room stood Makoto, clad in sweatpants and a loose, green shirt. His brows were arched in surprise and his mouth was hanging open.

"H-Haru?" he whimpered.

Haru stared back at him, blinking a few times before looking down at the bag in his hands.

"I… dinner," Haru said, holding out the bag to Makoto.

"E-Eh? For me?"

Haru nodded once, and Makoto paused, blinking back at him. He closed his mouth and gave a strained smile. He walked towards Haru and carefully grabbed the bag from his hand.

"Thank you, Haru," Makoto said. "Would… you like some tea?"

Haru paused, but he nodded. "Sure."

* * *

Kanade leaned against the wall outside of the main entrance of the rec center. It was dark now, the nearby streetlamp the only thing lighting the sidewalk. She kicked a few pebbles that rested on the ground and watched them bounce a few feet down the sidewalk. She felt relieved and thankful that she was able to drag Haru all the way to her place. She knew Makoto would take care of things from here.

But something tightened in her chest.

She was glad that Makoto and Haru would finally be able to make up and be on speaking terms again. But, there was a heaviness in her chest that she could not quite place. She replayed the conversation with Haru in her head, from start to finish. They started at the university, and then the train…

Kanade sighed, remembering her words.

 _"So I'll take a step back._ "

Kanade grimaced, the words tasting bitter on her tongue. If having Makoto in her life meant that he would lose Haru and get depressed, then she would rather keep her distance and see him be happy. She could be happy for him. She could be satisfied with just being friends. She could be…

Happy?

Kanade sighed and shoved her hands in the pockets of her hoodie. A soft breeze blew and she closed her eyes, letting the wind brush her bangs on her forehead. She clenched her hands in her pockets. She would do almost anything to have Makoto in her life. She wanted to be in his life. She wanted—

"Shizumi?"

Kanade popped her eyes open at the eerily familiar voice. Her back stiffened, and uncomfortable tingles shot down her spine. She turned her head to the source of the voice and her eyes widened.

Black hair, brown eyes, tall…

 _"You did great, babe."_

 _"See you later."_

 ** _"I can't do this anymore."_**

Kanade felt her heart start to pound, immediately recognizing the man standing in front of her.

"T… Takuya?"


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

* * *

"Shizumi… is that you?"

The black-haired boy stood in front of Kanade, the light from the street lamp reflecting off of his brown eyes.

"T… Takuya?"

Kanade straightened, pushing herself off of the wall. Her lungs felt restricted and her heart started to flutter uncomfortably in her chest. _Stupid pacemaker..._ she thought.

"Y-Yeah…" he responded. He took a step closer towards her.

 _"I can't do this."_

"I can't believe it's you," he said, taking another step forward.

 _"_ _ **I can't do this anymore**_ _."_

Kanade stuttered and took a step backwards, fumbling back away from him, and Takuya froze. She put her hand to her chest, trying to calm the pain that started to radiate down her torso.

 _He shouldn't be here... this is wrong. Why is he here, now?_

Takuya paused, his eyes widening a little, and he put up his hands in defense.

"W-Well, uh… how… how have you been?" he started. "I didn't expect you to stay here in Tokyo."

"O-Oh," Kanade stammered. Her thoughts were running marathons in her head, desperately trying to piece together the puzzling situation. She started to feel dizzy. What did he mean he did not expect her to stay? Why does he care? "Y-Yeah, I go… to the university nearby."

"Oh, really?" Takuya asked. His eyes were wide. "For swimming?"

Kanade felt her heart jump painfully.

 _Of course, you remember._

"Yeah," she replied. She glanced around the dark street and suddenly felt cornered.

"Wow, that's great!" Takuya said. Kanade whipped her head back to look at him, giving him a strange look. "I wasn't sure if you'd continue after the… after high school. But it's not surprising, you always did really well."

Kanade felt sick.

"Thanks," Kanade said softly, lowering her head. A lump lodged in her throat and her stomach churned. Her hands gripped her pants by her sides.

 _Always did really well? You hardly showed up to my tournaments!_

 _Just go away... leave._

 _Don't bring this pain back._

"Shizumi, listen," he said softly. Kanade raised her head and saw a serious look on Takuya's face. "I… I did something horrible to you. I… I want to make it up to you, I… we should catch up sometime and maybe… talk?"

Kanade's eyes widened, her heart pounding now. "Catch up?" she repeated, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah. Let me treat you to dinner or something," Takuya said.

Kanade hesitated and studied the ground, biting her lip. She could feel the hair on her arms and neck stand on their ends, sending a shiver down her spine. Something was not right.

Why was he being so nice?

"I… I'm not sure," Kanade stuttered.

"Please."

Kanade whipped her head up, hearing Takuya's desperate voice. His brown eyes were narrowed into painful slits as he tried to send her a pleading message. She could see his fists shaking by his sides.

Memories flooded her mind in an instant. Memories of holding his hand, going to the movies, kissing him…

It was all so familiar.

Kanade gulped, trying to swallow past the uncomfortable lump in her throat. The words spilled out of her mouth before she could even have a chance to think.

"S-Sure…"

"…R-Really?" Takuya's face brightened up. "That's… that's great! How's next week sound?"

Kanade jolted. This was happening so fast. What in the world was going on?

This was a bad idea.

She should go talk to...

 _Makoto…_

He was all she could think about.

Where was Makoto?

 _"So I'll take a step back."_

Kanade jolted again, remembering her promise to Haru. She told him she would back off.

That's right.

"Uh, yeah," Kanade agreed.

"Great!" Takuya said. "Your number still the same?"

Kanade swallowed again. "Yeah."

"Cool. See you next week!"

With that, Takuya walked off, and Kanade's legs felt like jelly. She almost sunk to the ground, but an immediate wave of nausea hit her like a rock. She crossed her arms in front of her, holding her stomach. She rushed into the rec center and stormed to the nearest restroom, locking herself in a stall. She heaved and vomited into the toilet, nausea overwhelming all of her senses.

Once her bout of retching was over, she slumped back against the stall and pulled her knees to her chest, and sobs and tremors started to wrack her body. The flutter in her chest still remained, making the nausea stick around longer than she'd wanted. Why was this happening?

 _I just want to be by Makoto's side…_

* * *

"Thanks for dinner, Haru!" Makoto complimented.

The curry that Kanade had bought earlier that night was now completely gone, leaving Makoto satisfied. He smiled shyly at Haru, who sat across from him at the dinner table, quietly studying the apartment.

Haru noticed the whiteness of the walls and how barren it looked. No pictures or paintings. It seemed odd that Makoto would live in a place like this. It seemed almost… lonely?

"Listen, Haru," Makoto said, drawing Haru out of his gaze. Haru turned to Makoto, his eyes fixed on Makoto's now sullen expression. "About what happened..."

Haru internally sighed, feeling his hand hurt from how heard he was clenching his pants. It felt as if he had been kicked in the stomach, and he squinted his eyes at his best friend, knowing that there would be an apology spewing from his mouth soon. Haru had to stop him, so opened his mouth to speak.

"Mako—"

"You were right."

Haru blinked a few times. He was… right?

"What do you mean?" Haru asked cautiously.

Makoto rubbed the back of his neck, his defeated expression not leaving his face. "Kanade… she was hiding something from me. You were right."

Haru felt his heart fluttering in his chest as he lowered his head to look at his lap. His grip on his pants loosened as relief washed over him like a relaxing bath. This was good. He wasn't wrong. His accusation held water. Nothing to worry about. He glanced back up at his best friend to acknowledge the apology but stopped when he saw Makoto's heartbroken face.

What's that look for?

Haru clenched his pants again, feeling tension sit on his shoulders as he took in a shaky breath to speak.

"What… what was she hiding?" Haru asked carefully.

"Ah, well… that's what I wanted to explain," Makoto started. He fiddled with his hands and lowered his gaze. "Kanade… she has a heart problem."

Haru's eyes widened and his breath stilled in his chest.

 _"Gou said… Shizumi was ill."_

 _"…pills…oxygen tank…"_

"What?" Haru said. His grip on his pants hardened again.

"It's… um, it's called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, I think," Makoto said. "It's a heart condition. When I came back to Tokyo…"

Makoto suddenly stopped and lifted a hand to wipe his face. His hand stilled and covered his eyes. His lips pulled into a grimace, his teeth grit and pained. He breathed in a shaky breath as his frame started to tremble.

Worry surged through Haru's bones and he started to lift a hand to touch Makoto's shoulder. But, Makoto sighed and dropped his hand from his eyes, making Haru drop his hand as well. Makoto stared blankly down at the table.

"When I came back to Tokyo, Kanade had thrown out all of her medications and she damaged her oxygen tank. She said she was angry at her illness and needed to take it out on something. She said it was a momentary lapse in judgment," Makoto said. Haru tried to gulp past a lump in his throat. "Anyway, she… she came back from a run that night and… and she collapsed. She… she had a heart attack, Haru."

Haru didn't breathe.

A heart attack? Isn't she only 18 or 19? And she's an athlete, so her heart should be…

 _"Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy"_

That's what Makoto had said, right? What did that mean exactly? Is she… okay?

"I was… really scared."

Haru snapped out of his thoughts and focused his eyes on Makoto, who was hanging his head with a sad face. His chest started to heave as his breaths started to quicken.

"She… she lost consciousness in the ambulance and… I wasn't sure if she would wake up after that," Makoto said. Makoto raised a hand and wiped his face again and he sat up to look at Haru. His green eyes were swirling with stress and worry. "Sorry, Haru. You were right about her hiding something from me. I should have believed you."

Haru blinked at him, watching him as he forced a strained smile on his face. Guilt started to knock on the door of Haru's heart and his eyes begged Makoto to stop.

"Don't… don't apologize," Haru said quietly. Makoto gave him a puzzled look.

"Huh?"

"Don't apologize for that," Haru said again. He looked down at his lap. "It was my fault… for trying to ruin your friendship with her."

"Haru…"

"Is… is she okay?" Haru asked.

Makoto paused, looking at Haru with wide eyes. "She's a little sore and weak but she should be fine. They inserted a pacemaker to help with her… irregular heartbeat, or something," Makoto said, scratching his cheek.

"Pacemaker?" Haru repeated.

"Yeah," Makoto said. "Kanade was pretty upset about it. The doctor told her she needed to slow down, even quit swimming. But Kanade is stubborn," Makoto said with a small smile as he stared at the table in front if him.

Haru's brows rose a bit at seeing Makoto's face looking so fond. The storm that was once plaguing Makoto's eyes suddenly seemed to lift.

The guilt was still gnawing on Haru's bones. He stared hard at his lap, his fists gripping his pants.

"I'm sorry," Haru said, and Makoto whipped his head up to stare at him.

"What?" Makoto said.

"I'm sorry," Haru said again. "For… yelling at you and… running away. Again," Haru said.

"Haru…" Makoto whispered. He watched Haru struggle with his apology, baring his emotions for Makoto to see. It was a rare sight, and Makoto always appreciated Haru for letting him see him like this. He put on a small smile.

"I'm sorry, too."

* * *

"So you _were_ at Rin's!"

"Yeah."

"So he lied to me?!"

"…yeah."

"Ugh."

Makoto and Haru headed down the stairs of the apartment and headed towards the front of the rec center. They were both dressed in their jammers, ready for a relaxing swim. It was Makoto's idea to go swimming, and since he officially worked at the rec center now he thought it would be nice to show Haru the pool.

Haru accepted the offer immediately.

"Sorry," Haru apologized, continuing their conversation as they entered through the front door of the rec center. Makoto sighed at his apology but immediately put on an amused face.

"No, no, I get it," Makoto said with a small laugh.

They walked up to the double doors that led to the pool but then stopped, seeing that the lights were off through the window. Makoto tugged on the door handle and sighed, seeing that it was locked.

"It's locked," Makoto said to Haru, who lowered his head in disappointment. "Maybe we can go tomorrow morning, or—"

"Ah, I thought you guys would come down here!"

They both turned around at the sudden voice. Behind them stood Kanade, her hands on her hips. Her face was flushed and her eyes red and swollen, but she still kept a wide smile on her face. She held up a key in between her fingers and walked towards the door.

"Kanade?" Makoto asked, noticing her red face.

"You guys can swim as long as you'd like," Kanade said cheerfully as she unlocked the door and pulled it open. "Here," she said, and she handed the key to Makoto. "Just lock up when you're done."

"Ah, s-sure," Makoto stuttered. "But… are you okay? You look like you've been cry—"

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" Kanade said, interrupting him by waving her hand in the air. "It's been a long day and I've been doing a lot of walking, so I'm just a little overworked is all." She stretched her arms above her head. "I'm headed to bed. Nanase-kun," Kanade called, pulling Haru's gaze from the pool. "Feel free to stay the night. You can swim more tomorrow."

Haru blinked a few times at her, but then nodded and hummed, accepting her offer. Kanade smiled at him and nodded back. She turned towards the front of the rec center and waved them off.

"Well, goodnight, you two! Have fun!" Kanade called.

"Ah, night, Kanade!" Makoto called back.

Kanade quickly escaped the rec center and headed back up to her apartment and then her room. As soon she entered her room she heaved, feeling her chest flutter uncomfortably again. She scrambled for her new oxygen tank and put the mask on her face. She heaved in a few breaths, her hand gripping her shirt near her chest.

This would a long, sleepless night.

* * *

"This is it, guys!" Gou announced, gesturing towards the entrance to the main pool.

The three first-years all gaped at the pool and the stands, excitement and nerves all running through their veins. With their faces flushed, they quickly ascended the stairs and into the stands.

"Don't go goofing off! You guys need to go stretch soon!" Gou yelled at them. "Seriously…" she whispered under her breath.

"We'll take care of them, Gou-san," Rei said, giving her a sympathetic smile.

"Just leave it to us!" Nagisa chirped as he thrust his fist into the air. "Let's go, Rei-chan!" Nagisa yelled as he bounded up towards the stands.

"N-Nagisa-kun, don't run!" Rei called, running after him.

Rei chased him up the stairs and into the stands, finding the small blond leaning over the railings and gawking at the pool.

"Nagisa-kun," Rei scolded. He put a hand to his head and closed his eyes, shaking his head. "Didn't you hear Gou-san? She told us not to goof off!"

Nagisa giggled. "Sorry, Rei-chan!" he apologized. Rei opened his eyes and stared at him, seeing his wide eyes stare down at all of the competitors. A slight breeze blew past them, tugging at Nagisa's blond bangs. "I was just so excited!" he explained with a wide smile.

Rei's raised a brow and put on a small smile to appease Nagisa. "It is exciting. But you're supposed to be the captain. Set an example for our teammates."

Nagisa paused, his magenta eyes narrowing as his lips pulled into that familiar, nostalgic smile. "Backstroke is the first event," he said. "Mako-chan would've placed first, for sure."

Rei jolted, his brows arching up. He heard Nagisa sigh as his head leaned down on the railings. His shoulders sagged and he looked completely dispirited.

"Nagisa-kun?" Rei whispered.

"It's so different now," Nagisa mumbled suddenly. "With them not here."

"You mean Haruka-senpai and Makoto-senpai?" Rei asked.

"Mmn," Nagisa murmured. "I wanted the four of us to swim forever. But now, Haru-chan is gonna try out for the Olympics. And Mako-chan has Kana-chan."

Rei hesitated, adjusting his glasses. He furrowed his brows and opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a roar of laughter from behind. Both he and Nagisa jumped and spun their heads back to look up at the stands.

The first-years were all sitting together with bright smiles on their faces. Rei and Nagisa stared up at them, watching as Gou, Coach Sasabe, and Amakata-sensei joined the picture. Rei's lips pulled into a small smile.

"Nagisa-kun," Rei called, grabbing ahold of his companion's attention. "Our team needs our captain."

Nagisa flushed, his face twisting pitifully. But then he put on a smile, his eyes flashing with excitement.

"Let's go!"

* * *

"Ah, their individual events should be starting soon," Makoto said, looking at his watch. He sat at the table eating breakfast with Haru. "Should we call them and wish them luck?"

Haru hummed in agreement and then took a bite of his mackerel. Makoto chuckled and smiled warmly. Things were finally back to normal.

Right?

"Is there more mackerel, Haru?" Makoto asked. Haru hummed again and took another bite. "I'm sure Kanade would like some." Makoto glanced back to the hallway, eyeing Kanade's door. "It's unusual. She doesn't usually sleep in."

Haru put down his chopsticks and stared at Makoto's face. He noticed the worried lines that danced around his furrowed brows. He gulped down the mackerel.

"Maybe you should go wake her," Haru said. Makoto whipped his head back to Haru with raised eyebrows. Haru looked away from him shyly. "I need to apologize to her," Haru said softly.

"H-Haru…" Makoto whispered. He breathed through his nose and then smiled. "I'll go get her."

Makoto stood up from the table and went to Kanade's door down the hallway. He knocked on the door gently.

"Kanade!" Makoto called. "You want some breakfast? Haru made mackerel."

There was no response on the other side of the door. Makoto bit his lip, remembering her teary-eyed face from the night before. He quickly knocked on the door again but heard no response. He put his hand on the door and slowly opened it.

"Kanade?" Makoto whispered as he poked his head through the door. "Eh?"

The room was empty.

"Where did she go?" Makoto mumbled to himself.

"What is it?" Haru called as Makoto walked back to the kitchen.

"She's gone," Makoto said, folding his arms across his chest. He stared at the ground hard.

"Maybe check the pool," Haru suggested. Makoto's face lit up for a moment but then fell.

"Ah, that would make sense. I hope she's not swimming, the doctor told her no swimming for two weeks!" Makoto whined. He walked towards the front door and put on his shoes. "I'll be back, Haru."

Haru hummed and watched Makoto disappear through the front door. Once he was left with peaceful silence, he studied the apartment again, seeing that there was a single picture sitting on the coffee table in the living room. He stood up from the table and headed to the living room, plopping down on the couch. He picked up the picture frame and looked at the picture.

It was the picture of Kanade and an older man. Kanade was wearing a medal around her neck and a big smile on her face. The old man next to her had a proud smile on his face. It reminded Haru of the picture of him, Makoto, Nagisa, and Rin in elementary school after their first relay.

Speaking of Rin…

Haru pulled out his phone and slid it open. He shifted down the contacts and pressed send when he finally got to one. He put the phone to his ear and waited, listening to the rings.

"Hah? Haru? You never call me," Rin said on the other line. "Especially since this is an overseas call…"

"Yeah," Haru said plainly. He heard Rin sigh on the other line.

"Well, what's up?" he asked.

Haru bit his lip and gulped. He tried to process the words together in his mind, thinking of the right words to say.

"Shizumi is sick," Haru said.

"What?" Rin asked immediately.

"She's ill, like you said. I was… wrong about the drugs," Haru explained. "You were right."

"Ah, well…" Rin hesitated. Haru could picture him rubbing the back of his head with a light blush on his cheeks. "Well, I'm guessing you talked to her about this?"

"No," Haru answered. "Makoto told me."

"Oh, so you two are talking now?"

"Yeah."

"Well, good," Rin said confidently. "I'm glad you guys worked things out. You apologize to Shizumi, then?"

"No," Haru said. "I didn't get a chance to. She's been… avoiding me."

"What a surprise," Rin said, his voice laced with sarcasm. "Maybe her illness is that she's allergic to mackerel."

"She loves mackerel," Haru said defensively.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. It was joke. Geez, don't take everything so seriously!" Rin scolded. He sighed over the phone. "So, what's wrong with her, anyway? Asthma, or pneumonia or something?"

Haru bit his lip and gulped. "Makoto said… it's something to do with her heart."

There was silence over the line. Haru could not even hear Rin breathe.

"Her… heart?" Rin asked, his voice gentle and concerned.

"I… I can't remember what it's called. But apparently, a few days ago, she…"

Haru thought back to Makoto's face as he explained the disease. The fear that coated his green eyes as he relayed the horrifying story of that night was stuck in Haru's mind. He swallowed hard, realizing that Makoto had dealt with that night alone.

He let out a slow sigh.

"She had a heart attack," Haru finished.

He heard Rin gasp, his breaths shaky. "Wha… What?" Rin said, his voice barely above a whisper. "A heart attack?!"

"Y-Yeah," Haru replied. He shifted his gaze to look down at his shoes. "She collapsed when Makoto got back to Tokyo, and they had to go to the hospital."

There was a heavy silence that fell between them, the only sound of Rin's irregular breathing filling the void. He heard Rin take in a shaky breath.

"Is… Is she okay?" Rin asked.

"I… I'm not sure," Haru said. "She looked really tired and she was really pale. Makoto… when he told me about it, he seemed really out of it."

There was another brief pause before Rin spoke again.

"Haru," he started. "Give me Shizumi's number."

Haru glanced around the room until his eyes fell on Makoto's phone that rested on the table in front of him.

* * *

Kanade swished her foot in the water, creating ripples that spread outward. She sighed as the temptation to just dive in sent tingles through her bones. But she heard the double doors slam shut and she popped her head up, her gaze locking with concerned, green eyes.

"Makoto?" Kanade said as he approached her.

"Ah, thank goodness," Makoto said, putting a hand to his chest. "I was worried that you would be swimming," he said with a soft chuckle. Kanade felt her cheeks flush at hearing his pure laugh and she looked away from him.

"You really think I would do that?" Kanade said, her face pouting. "I'm not that stupid."

"I didn't say you were," Makoto said, taking a seat next to her. He took off his shoes and rolled up his pants and then dipped his legs into the pool next to hers. "Ah, this feels so good!" Makoto said with a brilliant smile, his eyes squinting shut.

Kanade stared at his kind face and could not help but smile. The goofy look on his face as he swished his feet around in the pool reminded her of a child's innocence. He was kind and sweet and caring, always putting others before himself. He was pure, holding no secrets and telling no lies…

Kanade's face scrunched up and she looked away from him, feeling guilt hit her stomach like a punch in the gut. Her chest fluttered uncomfortably once again, making more nausea jump to her throat. Disappearing into the water was a really tempting idea now.

"You brought Haru back to the apartment last night, didn't you?" Makoto asked after a moment of silence. Kanade turned her head to meet his eyes, the same kind smile painting his lips.

"Yeah," Kanade answered, turning her head to look down at the pool. "Sorry… for butting in."

"Eh? No, no! Don't apologize! Actually… I should be thanking you," Makoto said, lowering his gaze to stare at the water. Kanade glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, watching as he swirled the water around with his feet. "Back in high school, Haru and I had a big fight. I gave him space, even going to Rin for help."

"That's when he went to Australia with Rin?" Kanade asked.

"E-Eh? You know about that?"

"Ah, Gou-chan told me about it," Kanade said. She kicked the water and sent water droplets flying in front of her. "I'm guessing you guys made up, though?" Kanade asked.

"Mmn," Makoto hummed. "But, when we fought this time, it felt different. It felt that I was actually losing him. Like he was giving up on me."

Kanade winced, her hands gripping the edge of the pool. Makoto's feet stilled in the water and Kanade did the same.

"I went to go apologize to him the next day, but he wasn't home. That's when I knew he was avoiding me," Makoto said sadly. "It made me worry that my life would continue without him in it, and I dwelled on that."

Kanade closed her eyes, feeling the pain in Makoto's words.

"I was really out of it the whole time, but I still noticed those worried looks you gave me," Makoto said. Kanade jumped and turned her head to look at him, her face turning red. Makoto smiled at her shyly, a tinge of red playing at his cheeks. "Thank you… for bringing him here," Makoto said. He tilted his head happily and gave her a genuine smile, the smile that had been missing for days.

"Mmn," Kanade hummed, turning her head to glance down at the water. "You're welcome." She started to swirl her feet again to fill the silence that fell between them. It was a comfortable silence that only lasted a moment.

"What was really wrong last night?" Makoto asked suddenly.

Kanade's feet froze in the water.

 _"Shizumi? Is that you?"_

 _"I did something horrible to you."_

 _"We should catch up."_

"N-Nothing," Kanade lied.

"You sure?"

Kanade pressed her brows together and hesitated. She knew Makoto could tell she was lying, but she really did not want to talk about the issue. She sighed and then lifted her head to meet his gaze. She put on a smile.

"It's nothing," Kanade affirmed. Makoto's eyes narrowed a bit, but he kept a strained smile on his face.

"All right," he agreed. He stood up from the pool and shook the water off of his feet. "Haru made breakfast. You should come join us. We're going to call the Iwatobi team soon to wish them luck," Makoto said cheerfully.

"Ah, okay, I'll be up soon," Kanade said, waving Makoto off.

After he left through the double doors, Kanade heaved a heavy sigh and pushed herself up from the ground. She slumped over to her bag and rummaged for a towel, but a soft buzz halted her search. She grabbed her phone and looked at the caller ID.

 _Unknown?_

Kanade hit send and tentatively put the phone to her ear. "H-Hello?"

"OI!" came a roaring voice over the line. Kanade jolted the phone away from her ear for a second before putting it back to her ear. "Why didn't you call me and tell me you were in the hospital?!"

Kanade blinked a few times. "Ma… Matsuoka-kun?"

"Yeah," Rin said, his voice gruff. "Now then, explain to me what's going on."

Kanade sighed, shaking her head. She plopped down on a nearby bench and leaned back against the wall.

"It's nothing really," Kanade said.

" _N-Nothing_ _really_?!" Rin growled. "You have a heart attack and you tell me it's _nothing really_?!"

Kanade's brows lowered. "How did you—"

"Now are you going to tell me the truth?" Rin was persistent.

Kanade grimaced. "I… I have a heart condition called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy."

Rin hesitated. "Doesn't… shouldn't you like, I don't know… not overexert yourself, then?"

Kanade huffed out an impatient sigh, feeling her annoyance level rising. She hunched forward and leaned her arm and elbow on her knees.

"You're not the only one who's told me that," she answered. "If I stop now, then I'll lose any chance of getting to the Olympics."

"Is it really worth _your life_?" Rin asked, making Kanade pause. "I mean… this is dangerous, isn't it? You pushing yourself like this?"

"I… I guess, but this is my dream! I can't just give up," Kanade said.

"What about Makoto?" Rin asked.

Kanade's eyes widened and her back straightened. She felt a little alert at the sudden question, her heart starting to ache as it jumped uneasily in her chest.

"What… do you mean?" Kanade asked.

She heard Rin sigh with a defeated tone. "Never mind. Just… don't overdo it, okay? I don't want to hear that you've ended up back in the hospital."

Kanade paused but then smiled. "I'll be careful," she said.

"Good. I want you to be at the Olympics, too," Rin said. Kanade chuckled lightly.

"I'm guessing Makoto told you, huh? I guess he wanted to keep you informed," Kanade said.

"Uh, actually…" Rin stuttered. Kanade raised a brow. "Haru was the one who told me."

Kanade's eyes widened. "Nanase-kun?"

"Yeah," Rin replied. "He called me earlier to tell me about it. Seemed a little… shaken up about it, honestly."

"He… he did?" Kanade repeated, her voice a whisper.

"Yeah," Rin said. "Why?"

Kanade bit her lip, her chest fluttering.

"A-Ah… no… no reason."


	27. Chapter 27

Aquafin! So good to see you back in the comment section! Thank you for your loyalty and sticking with me for so long! :)

Thank you all for reading!

Since I am still new to fanfic writing, is there anything you guys are wanting to see in this story? Is there something I could do better? I am always trying to grow and I want to make this story something that will make you smile, cry, laugh, or even get frustrated.

Please let me know if I am doing this for you! You guys are the reason I am writing!

Enjoy :)

* * *

Chapter 27

* * *

"Are you guys ready to go?"

"Yep!"

"I'm a little nervous…"

"Don't be! This is what you've trained for!"

Gou was standing in front of her teammates, her hands on her hips. Goro and Amakata-sensei also stood nearby, ready to cheer on their students.

"Now, then! Go and fight!" Gou said, raising her hand up into the air.

"Yay!" Nagisa cheered. "Fight-o!"

Gou nodded at him, determined. "First up is backstroke. You two are up!" Gou pointed to the first-years. They stood up straight and both yelled a solid "yes" before leaving to the locker rooms. "Okay, after that is breast. So you'll be up soon, Nagisa-kun.

"Okay!" Nagisa said happily. "I'm ready this year, Gou-chan!"

"Ah, as am I, Nagisa-kun! I think you will all be impressed once I show my beautiful butterfly technique!" Rei started laughing loudly and proudly.

Gou shook her head at him, not impressed by his loud laughter. She turned her gaze towards Dai, who was sitting on the other side of her. He was frantically searching the crowd with darting eyes.

"What do you think, Dai-kun? How do you think you'll do?" Gou asked.

Dai jumped and faced her. "O-Oh, I'm not sure…" His voice trailed off as he glanced around the bleachers again.

Gou raised a brow at him. "What's wrong, Dai-kun?" she asked.

"E-Eh? Oh, nothing, nothing," Dai said. He looked in his lap, his face a little crestfallen.

"Are you nervous?" Gou asked. "You've been training really hard, so I know you'll do well."

"Oh, no, it's not—"

"Ohh! I've got a phone call from Mako-chan!" Nagisa announced, cutting through Dai's sentence. Gou turned and faced him, watching as he turned it on speaker and then answered. "Hello?"

"Ah, Nagisa!" Makoto's voice came through the phone. "Are you all at the tournament?"

"Yep! Rei-chan, Gou-chan, and Dai-chan are all here," Nagisa said proudly.

"Oh, good! Ah, Haru and Kanade are here, too."

"Ah, Haruka-senpai and Shizumi-san! We will make you all proud today!" Rei said.

They could hear a pure giggle come from the phone.

"I'm sure you will, Ryugazaki-kun! Good luck to you and Hazuki-kun and Dai-kun!" Kanade said.

"Thank you very much!" Rei and Nagisa said in unison.

"Nagisa, Rei," Haru called.

"Oh, Haru-chan!" Nagisa chirped.

"Do your best," Haru replied plainly.

Rei and Nagisa both smiled, a small blush sitting underneath their eyes. They glanced at each other and exchanged determined looks before looking back at the phone.

"Yes!" they both replied.

"Okay, guys! Let us know how you do!" Makoto said. "Bye!"

"Bye, Mako-chan! Haru-chan! Kana-chan!"

* * *

"They seem pretty excited," Makoto said as he hung up the phone. He walked to the sink and started to wash dishes.

"Mmn," Haru hummed, standing next to him. He started to dry the dishes that Makoto had cleaned. "I think they'll do fine."

Makoto nodded as he handed him a clean plate and then turned to glance at Kanade. She was staring vacantly out the window, her eyes not really fixed on anything. Makoto blinked at her, his smile dissipating.

 _She had seemed so excited on the phone just then,_ Makoto said. _But now she looks… listless._

"Kanade, are… are you okay?" Makoto asked.

Kanade snapped her head from the window and immediately put on a smile. The smile did not reach her eyes, and her brow even twitched as she spoke.

"Yep!" Kanade said.

Makoto hesitated. "I was thinking that maybe we could all go out today," he announced with a strained smile.

The air in the room got heavier as Kanade and Haru stayed silent at Makoto's suggestion, both avoiding eye contact with each other. Makoto's eyes flitted back and forth between them and sighed.

They were more alike than he had originally thought.

"What do you think, Haru?" Makoto asked.

Haru blinked at him before turning his head to gaze out the window in the kitchen.

"Too much effort," he said bluntly.

"Why is it that everything besides swimming and mackerel is _too much effort_ for you?" Makoto sighed and shook his head. He turned to Kanade. "Kanade, what about you? Want to hang out today?"

Kanade jolted a little and snapped her head to look at him. She gave a sheepish smile.

"I'm not sure today works for me…" she said softly.

Makoto's brows arched questioningly. "Oh really?" he asked carefully. "That's too bad… I was really hoping we could all hang out."

"Sorry, Makoto," Kanade apologized. "But I… I've got something to do today. Um..." She paused to bite her lip. "Ah, I know! Why don't you two go swimming again? I can get you guys in early."

Haru's eyes immediately shimmered in peaked interest at her words, and Makoto sighed in defeat. He knew he could not change Haru's mind now. If it wasn't for Kanade standing right there, Haru would have stripped by now.

"Fine, fine," Makoto breathed. "Okay, Haru. We'll swim. But then maybe the three of us can go get lunch or something?"

Haru ignored Makoto and was already reaching for a towel and his goggles. Makoto sighed again and glanced back at Kanade, who was sitting at the door with her tennis shoes in her hand. She slipped one shoe on her foot and then turned her head to look back at Makoto.

"You guys go ahead," Kanade offered. "I'm going for a run."

"A-Ah, now?!" Makoto asked. "But what about—"

"I won't overdo it, I promise!" Kanade said, her hand opening the door.

"K-Kanade, wait—" The door shut and she disappeared from sight. "—a minute…" Makoto's voice trailed off as the door severed his sentence. "She's been a little spacey this morning."

Haru softened his gaze, guilt tugging at him as his lips pulled into a small frown. He glanced down at the ground and let his fringe cover part of his eyes.

"I haven't apologized to her, yet," Haru explained. Makoto turned back to face him and he gave him an understanding gaze.

"I'm sure she isn't angry with you," Makoto said.

"Yeah," Haru agreed quietly. "Maybe."

* * *

The two first-years both swam their race, competing against each other in a heated backstroke. It was a good race between the two of them, but the one first-year who was assigned to the relay team ultimately beat out his fellow teammate by a few seconds.

Unfortunately, the winner of the individual backstroke race was Samezuka's Momotarou, the _Sea of Japan's Sea Otter_.

The two first-years slumped back up the stairs after the race with bummed faces, but their teammates quickly approached them.

"Great race, you two!" Gou congratulated.

"Eh? But we didn't qualify…"

"But this _was_ your first race!" Nagisa said.

"And your times were excellent. You should both be proud," Rei said with a kind smile.

The two first-years blinked at them, but then smiled. They gave each other a high-five before sitting down next to Dai.

"All right, Nagisa-kun! You're next!"

Nagisa jumped to his feet and proudly saluted Gou before disappearing down to the locker room. Once he was dressed, he proceeded to the starting block. He pushed on his goggles and gave a huge smile and wave to his teammates in the stands. Just as he was about to bend down at the starting block, he noticed the competitor next to him.

"Oh! Ai-chan!"

The gray-haired boy flinched, almost falling forward into the lane. He sheepishly glanced at Nagisa and gave him an annoyed look.

"I-I-I told you not to call me that!" Ai cried.

"You're the captain this year, right?" Nagisa asked.

"A-Ah, y-yes," Ai stuttered.

"Oh! Me too, me too! This is going to be great, Ai-chan!"

"I said, don't call me that!"

"Good luck, Ai-chan!" Nagisa said, completely ignoring Ai's pleas.

Nagisa then bent down at the starting block and waited. He listened carefully, his gaze turning serious.

Then, the buzzer sounded, and Nagisa dove off of the starting block and into the water in a perfect dive. He bobbed up from the water and took in a deep breath, immediately starting his breaststroke.

"Go, go, go, go, go, Nagisa!"

"Swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, Nagisa!"

Nagisa could feel his heart tighten with excitement as he heard the cheers in the audience. He could almost picture hearing Haru and Makoto's voice in the crowd.

" _Go, Hazuki-kun!"_

 _Oh?_ Nagisa thought. _Kana-chan?_

He reached the far wall and did his turn quickly, barely noticing Ai in the next lane slightly behind him.

"Nagisa-senpai!"

"Go, go, go!"

Nagisa surged his arms forward, creating the illusion of his body stretching out, making him look longer and sleeker. His hands would come back together quickly before surging forward again.

"Go, Nagisa-kun!"

Nagisa pushed harder after hearing Rei's voice amongst the crowd. He reached his hand out, and then finally he touched the wall and lifted his head out from the water.

The crowd cheered, and Nagisa turned back to look at the board. He smiled brilliantly.

1st Place

Hazuki Nagisa

* * *

Rei was in the locker room when Nagisa entered from his race. Rei was dressed and ready to go, his prescription goggles sitting on top of his head. Nagisa rushed to him and jumped on his back.

"N-Nagisa-kun!"

"Good luck, Rei-chan!" Nagisa said. He got off of his back and gave him a determined look. "You have to win!" Rei turned to meet his eyes and gave him a serious look.

"Yes!" Rei shouted. Nagisa gave him a thumbs-up before hurrying to change and then rush up the stairs to the stands.

Rei left the locker room and headed out towards his starting block. He carefully got on the starting block and placed his goggles firmly over his eyes.

 _Goggles, check._

He tugged on the hem of his jammers to make sure it was secure.

 _Jammers, check._

Rei then closed his eyes and felt the wind breeze past him.

 _Wind speed, 5 kilometers per hour._

He then opened his eyes and glanced down at the water, bending down to take his position.

 _Diving angle must be perfect. Then I will start my butterfly technique, making it precise and quick and…_

 _"Ryugazaki-kun, has your shoulder been bothering you?"_

Rei's brows rose, remembering the thought. He focused on his shoulder and felt no immediate pain, but his brow twinged at trying to remember Kanade's words.

 _"The angle of your arms is too narrow. You need to widen it, like this."_

Rei blinked a few times but then lowered his brows, focusing on the sound of the buzzer.

 _Of course,_ Rei thought. _I will do it just as Shizumi-san recommended._

The sound of the buzzer jolted Rei out of his thoughts and he dove perfectly into the water, quickly rising to the surface to start his butterfly.

"Go, go, go, go, go, Rei!"

"Swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, Rei!"

Rei pushed himself, hearing his teammates in the stands, and hit the wall in a splashing finish. He reared his head back to look at the board and his eyes widened in shock.

1st Place

Ryugazaki Rei

He blinked at the name, watching as the white letters disappeared from the board.

"Rei-chan!"

Rei whipped his head up to the stands, where all of his teammates stood cheering for him. Nagisa was bouncing around, a bubbly smile on his face. Rei lifted his goggles from his head and smiled, a light blush coating his cheeks.

* * *

"You did really well, Rei-kun!" Gou said as Rei returned to the stands to join the rest of the team. They all gave him pats on his shoulders, and Nagisa jumped on his back and clung onto him. "Your time was a lot faster than last year!"

"R-Really?" Rei asked. Nagisa slid off of his shoulders.

"What did you do differently? I mean… this is quite a drastic change!" Gou said, looking down at her clipboard in her hands.

Rei blinked a few times before a small smile tugged on his lips.

"Ah, well… Shizumi-san's advice at the pool that day really helped my speed," Rei started. All eyes were locked onto him. "Before, I was experiencing some pain in my shoulder, so I couldn't really go as fast as I wanted. But once Shizumi-san showed me my mistake and helped me to fix it, then I was able to go faster."

"Wow!" Nagisa chirped. "That's amazing! I didn't know her advice would help you go faster, Rei-chan! Kana-chan is pretty smart!"

"Mmn," Rei hummed with a warm smile on his face.

"Well, keep up that regimen that she taught you," Gou said. "All right, let's see. Hmm… oh! Dai-kun! You're next."

Dai sat in his seat, his eyes locked on the stands in a focused haze. Gou raised a brow at him and then patted his shoulder.

"Dai-kun?" Gou called. Dai jolted and then glanced up at her from his seat, obviously startled.

"Y-Yes?" Dai stuttered.

"Ah, you're next," Gou said.

Dai blinked at her a few times and then stood to his feet. He glanced around the stands again, his eyes flitting back and forth rapidly.

"Are you looking for someone, Dai-kun?" Rei asked. Dai jolted out of his gaze and glanced to his teammates.

"O-Oh, no, not really," Dai responded. He headed out and down towards the locker rooms without another word.

"Is he okay?" one of the first-years asked.

"He's been quiet all morning," the other responded.

Rei, Nagisa, and Gou all exchanged worried looks before watching Dai disappear down the hall.

* * *

Dai breathed out as he stepped up onto the starting block. He took another glance around the stands, his eyes constantly searching for that familiar face. He slumped and stared down at the water, peering into his own reflection.

 _"Why didn't you save him?!"_

Dai winced, hearing the echoes of his brother's words ring in his head. His hands curled into fists.

 _"Why did you have to challenge us? If you were never in that stupid swim club, then you never would've made us do that challenge!"_

Dai's heart hurt inside of his chest.

 _"I hate you!"_

Dai closed his eyes, his chest tightening in pain. He never wanted this. He never wanted his brother to suffer like this. He just wanted to have fun and swim.

How foolish he had been then…

 _"Dai, I know you think it is your fault. But it wasn't."_

Dai's eyes popped open and his heart jumped in his chest. His brows furrowed, trying to remember more of that conversation. What else had Makoto said?

 _"Don't blame yourself."_

 _"I want you to find joy in swimming again."_

Dai lowered his head again, his heart pounding painfully against his ribcage.

 _Tachibana-san… what else did he say?_

 _"Then, why don't you swim_ for _your brother? If you can't swim for yourself, then swim for him. Swim for your brother's friend."_

"But what if he hates me more?" Dai whispered to himself, remembering what he had asked Makoto that day.

 _"I don't think he will, Dai. If he sees how hard you've worked on this, then I think he'll understand how much swimming means to you."_

Dai raised his head, determined. He put on his goggles over his eyes and then bent down on the starting block. He exhaled slowly, listening intently for the buzzer.

 _This is for you, little brother,_ Dai thought. _Even if you're not here, I will still swim for you!_

The buzzer sounded and Dai dove off of the block and was under the water. He did a swift dolphin kick that propelled him forward and to the surface. Once he broke the surface, he started his quick front-crawl. He could feel the waves from the other lanes start to rock him a little, panic starting to creep its way up his spine.

 _I don't know if I can do this…_

The clarity of the water became murky in his eyes, his path distorted.

 _I can't do this…_

Then, the thought of the training camp came to mind, and he remembered when Kanade pulled him out of the water. She was strong and managed to carry his weight all the way back to shore.

He remembered watching her and Haru swim against each other, their incredible power that thrust them through the water with ease.

"Go, go, go, go, go, go, Dai!"

"Swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, Dai!"

He could hear his teammates in the stands calling his name.

 _No,_ Dai thought. _I won't let this beat me. I_ will _win. I will win for my brother! Because I have my teammates by my side!_

Dai surged forward, taking in a breath, and suddenly his path became clear. He reached the far wall and did the turn perfectly, pushing against it to send him cutting through the water.

His heart pounded in his ears and he inhaled a breath, pushing his muscles faster and harder than ever before.

 _Go… faster! Go!_

Finally, Dai reached the starting wall, and he slammed his palms against it, creating a big splash. He reared his head back to gasp for air. He could faintly hear cheering from the stands and he turned his head back to his teammates.

Nagisa was jumping up and down wildly, and the first-years were pumping their fists into the air. Rei was yelling something with a proud, teary look on his face, and Gou was also teary-eyed. Dai removed his goggles and turned towards the boards. His eyes widened.

1st Place

Tanaka Dai

"I… I won?"

* * *

"Dai-chan!" Nagisa yelled, tackling Dai to the ground outside the stadium.

"Ah, N-Nagisa-senpai!" Dai cried, but his voice was filled with laughter.

"N-Nagisa-kun!" Rei scolded. "Would you please not rough-house right now? We still have to be in one piece for the relay tomorrow!"

"Ah, oops," Nagisa said, leaning up and sticking his tongue out.

"All right!" Gou said, grabbing everyone's attention. "Make sure you get a lot of rest tonight. Don't stay up late!"

"No worries, Gou-san," Rei said. "We will definitely get some rest. Ready to go, Nagisa-kun?" Rei asked. Nagisa stood up straight and nodded happily. Rei nodded in agreement and started to search through his duffle bag for his train pass. "The station is just up ahead, so we should…"

Rei stopped speaking and started rummaging through his bag in a panicked fit.

"Eh? Rei-senpai, what's wrong?" Dai asked.

"Gahhh, I can't find my train pass!" Rei said with a sullen voice.

"Did you leave it in the locker room?" Gou asked. Rei paused, putting a hand up to his chin.

"Ah, it must have fallen out of my bag! I will go check. Nagisa-kun, here," Rei said, and he handed Nagisa his duffle bag. He then rushed back towards the locker room.

"It's not like him to forget something like that," Gou said.

"Ah, he's just excited!" Nagisa excused. "You guys can go ahead! I'll wait for him."

"Oh, all right! See you tomorrow morning, Nagisa-kun!" Gou said.

"Later, Nagisa-senpai!"

"Bye-bye!" Nagisa waved. He glanced back at the locker room entrance and sighed. "What's taking Rei-chan so long?" he mumbled.

Nagisa glanced down at Rei's duffle bag in his hands, still unzipped from when Rei had rummaged through it earlier. There was a piece of paper sitting inside that caught his eye, and he raised a brow. He quickly glanced back at the locker room and then reached into the bag. He pulled out the paper and did a glance over it, his eyes widening.

It was Rei's career survey sheet again.

Nagisa's brows rose in concern.

Rei had written the word "college" but then had crossed it out. This was the second time that Rei had second-guessed himself with this decision. Why would Rei cross it out? Was he… not going to college after all?

"Nagisa-kun!"

Nagisa jumped and shoved the paper bag into the bag. He whirled around and saw Rei jogging back to meet him.

"I found it," Rei said, panting. "Ready to go?" he asked after he straightened.

Nagisa paused but then put on a strained smile.

"Mmn."


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

* * *

"Ah, Kanade!"

Kanade stopped at the door, her hand ready to open and flee. She turned back to meet Makoto's worried eyes.

"You're… you're going running again?" Makoto asked, pointing to the tennis shoes on her feet. Kanade blinked a few times and gave her feet a quick glance.

"O-Oh, mmn," Kanade hummed. "I still have a week and a half before the stitching heals so still no swimming."

"But you went running yesterday…" Makoto said softly. "Shouldn't you be taking it easy still? Iwatobi's relay race is today… maybe we can give them a call and just relax today? Haru will be here soon and I think he's bringing a movie."

Kanade sighed lightly. The idea sounded wonderful, but if Haru would be there…

"It'll be fine," Kanade said with a strained smile. She put her hand on the door. "It's just a run."

Kanade froze when she saw a big hand cover hers on the door, and a shadow cast over her. She turned her head up and saw Makoto standing beside her, his hand stopping hers from opening the door.

"It's not just a run, Kanade," Makoto said so softly that Kanade thought her heart would break. "What's… what's really going on?" Makoto asked, his eyes narrowing sadly.

Kanade gazed up at him, a confession about a certain tall, eerily-nice ex-boyfriend stinging on her tongue.

 _Just tell him. Maybe he can help. Maybe he can…_

 _"So I'll take a step back."_

"I-It's nothing, Makoto! S-Stop worrying so much," Kanade lied, a weird smile appearing on her face. She pushed Makoto's hand off of hers and he slowly retracted his hand. She turned her head and opened the door, refusing to look at Makoto's hurt and worried face. "I'll see you later, Makoto!" she said, trying to be cheerful.

She took a step through the doorway and immediately ran into a chest. She stumbled a few steps back and was met with a sea of blue.

It was Haru.

"Ah, s-sorry!" Kanade apologized, and she quickly slipped past Haru and down the stairs. Haru watched her leave with creased brows. He heard Makoto sigh behind him and he turned to walk in the doorway.

"Good morning, Haru-chan," Makoto said, his voice listless. He wore a forced smile and his green eyes looked tired.

"Drop the –chan," Haru said, bending down to take off his shoes.

"Ah, sorry, sorry," Makoto said with his light chuckle. Once Haru had his shoes off, he stood and glanced back at the door.

"Where is Shizumi going?" Haru asked.

Makoto's smile faltered and he sighed through his nose. "She's going for a run."

Haru blinked at Makoto with a hard expression on his face. Makoto's smile now completely fell from his face as he gazed out the window.

"She's been acting really strange," Makoto stated.

"She's still avoiding me," Haru said bluntly.

Makoto shook his head gently and sighed. "I don't know, Haru," he replied. "I'll try to talk to her."

"Mmn," Haru hummed as he went to sit on the couch. He paused for a moment and took a long glance at Makoto. Makoto cocked his head back at him, trying to read his face.

"What is it?" Makoto finally asked.

"Nothing really," Haru responded, looking into his lap. He bit his lip and paused again. "Are… are you going to confess to her?"

"E-Eh?!"

Haru whipped his head up to meet Makoto's flustered face. He had suddenly turned red all the way down his neck. He rubbed the back of his neck and avoided Haru's eyes.

"W-Well, I don't think it's good to right now," Makoto stuttered. Haru blinked at him, confused. "Ahh, well… she's not just avoiding you," Makoto said softly. "She's been avoiding me, too."

* * *

Kanade groaned as she shut the door behind her. In all seriousness, she hated running. She was never all that great at it but knew it was good for her stamina. She was jogging lightly down the street in downtown Tokyo, trying to numb her mind from what happened earlier that morning.

When she awoke this morning, her phone was flashing with an alert of a new text message. The message was from a number she did not recognize, but as soon as she opened the text, her heart clenched.

 _To: Shizumi_

 _Hey, it's Fujioka Takuya! Still meeting up this week?_

Kanade glared down at the text that morning and shut her phone, not responding to it.

She shook the thoughts from her mind and kept running, trying to ignore the growing pain in her chest. Had he kept her number? What would possess him to keep it? He was the one who cut her off, completely out of his life.

Kanade turned down a corner and tried to keep up her pace, but her tightening chest slowed her jog to a stop. She hunched over and held her knees, willing the pain to stop.

Suddenly, she felt a buzz in her pocket. She groaned, fearing it would be another text from Takuya. She pulled out her phone and opened it, her heart relaxing when she saw Makoto's name.

 _To: Kanade_

 _Please don't stay out too long. I know you want to stay in shape, but I'm worried. Haru wants to make mackerel for lunch, so we'd like for you to join :)_ _Please?_

Kanade felt her body warm up from the text. A smile tugged at her lips at Makoto's little _Please?_ in the text. It was cute.

 _Even when Nanase is around, Makoto_ still _finds a way to worry!_ Kanade thought. She let out a bitter chuckle. _Figures._

She was about to reply when another text popped up, and her heart sank.

 _To: Shizumi_

 _Hey, how about dinner on Thursday?_

Kanade furrowed her brows, seeing that the number was Takuya's again. Her fingers hovered over the buttons of her phone in a nervous dance and she eventually just slammed it shut without replying. After shoving it back into her pocket, she continued down the street in a light jog once again.

* * *

"Okay!" Gou announced. "Remember your training with exchanges. Watch carefully!"

"Right!" the first-year shouted, standing at attention for Gou.

"No worries, Gou-san," Rei said. "We've been training for weeks for this! I think we can handle it. Besides, we should be able to push ahead with how fast my butterfly has improved!"

Rei lifted his head back and started to laugh proudly.

"Sure, sure, Rei-kun," Gou said, raising a brow at his laughter. "Now then, you guys go on out to the starting block!"

The four saluted Gou and gave a prompt "yes" before hurrying to the locker room. Rei walked next to Nagisa, who had been oddly quiet all morning.

"Nagisa-kun, are you all right?" Rei asked as they entered the locker room.

"Huh? O-Oh, yeah!" Nagisa stuttered. He started to get changed and Rei watched him cautiously. "Let's go, Rei-chan! Our race starts soon!"

"A-Ah, right!"

Nagisa headed out towards the entrance and sighed. His mind was constantly preoccupied with Rei's career survey sheet.

 _I don't have time to think about that now!_ Nagisa thought. _We have a race to win!_

* * *

The four of them entered through the tunnel and went to their starting block. They started to stretch their arms and legs out.

"Ugh, I don't know if I can do this," the first-year mumbled. His hand gripped his goggles.

"Don't say that," Dai said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You can do it."

"Your dive and dolphin kick have really improved! I am sure that you will do well," Rei said.

"I don't know," he stuttered again. "What if I mess up? I don't want to let you guys down."

"Well, you know…"

Rei and Dai turned to face Nagisa, who wore a happy smile and determined eyes.

"You're not alone," Nagisa started. "There's _four_ of us."

The other three blinked at him with dropped jaws, and then they turned to each other with determined smiles.

"Right! We can do this!" Rei said, and Nagisa put his hand in.

"Let's go, and let's win!" Nagisa shouted, and the other three put their hands on top of his.

"Yeah!"

...

The first-year jumped into the water after the whistle and he moved to grab the bars on the starting block.

 _There's four of us, there's four of us…_ he chanted in his head.

"Ready!"

He leaned forward.

 _Just do it like Tachibana-san!_

The buzzer sounded and he thrust himself from the starting block and started into his backstroke. He dug into the water above his head and pushed as hard as he could.

Nagisa moved up to stand on the platform, watching as his teammate slowly started to get behind. He lowered his goggles onto his eyes and bent down at the starting block. His face got serious as he held his breath, waiting for his teammate to return. The two lanes beside him had already returned, but the Iwatobi first-year was right on their tails.

He hit the wall and Nagisa leaped into the pool. He quickly surfaced and began his breaststroke, his body starting to catch up to the others. He reached the far wall and made the turn flawlessly, and then he started to come back down the lane. His arms stretched out in front of him and started to gain speed.

"Ohh, he's catching up!" Gou shouted from the stands. "We're in fourth now!"

"Go, Nagisa, go!"

"Nagisa-senpai!"

Nagisa hit the wall and lifted his head, screaming Rei's name as he dove in over him.

"Rei-chan!"

Rei dove in perfectly and immediately started his butterfly.

 _Wider movements…_ he thought as his arms lifted out of the water overhead. He reached the wall quickly and made the turn.

"Wahh? We're in third!" the first-year shouted. Gou nodded at him excitedly, her ponytail bouncing.

"Go, Rei-kun!" Gou cheered.

Dai stepped up onto the starting block and took a deep breath as he put on his goggles. He could see Rei approaching fast as he bent down at the starting block. He exhaled and focused, listening and watching carefully for Rei's hand to touch the wall.

 _You can do this…_ Dai thought to himself. _Do it for yourself…_

Rei was getting close to the block.

 _Do it for brother…_

Rei's hand was inches away.

 _Do it… for…_

Rei touched the wall and Dai leaped from the block over Rei.

"Dai-kun!"

 _For the Team!_

Dai dove in with a minimal splash and his body was thrust forward as he reached the surface and started his front-crawl. He was flying down the lane, passing the person on his right.

"Look, look! We're in second! He passed someone!" Gou shouted.

"Don't just stand there! Cheer so he can hear you!" Goro yelled.

"Right!"

Dai pushed through the water, gliding through it with ease. He could hear his name being called in the stands, the words telling him to 'go' and 'swim.' He felt his chest constrict. There was a voice missing that he so desperately wanted to hear.

 _"Onii-chan!"_

Dai's heart jumped when he heard the sound of his brother's voice ringing in his ears.

 _Brother… I'm swimming for you!_

Dai made the turn and started to swim back at a fast pace, neck and neck with the person in the other lane.

"He's catching up!" Gou shouted.

"G-Gou-senpai!" the first-year shouted. "We… he could win this!"

Dai could hear his teammates shouting louder and louder and he pushed himself harder. He was right next to his opponent, the wall getting close. Dai pushed further, trying to get a lead on him and shake him.

 _I must swim for them!_

"Dai!"

"Dai-kun!"

"Dai-chan!"

Dai looked forward and the wall was within reach. He pushed forward and reached out his hand, stretching so his fingertips could touch.

He hit the wall at full force and whipped his head back to gasp in a much-needed breath. The crowd was cheering hysterically, and Dai could hear the sound of Gou's shouting from the stands.

He turned his head to look at the board and his eyes widened.

1st Place

Iwatobi

"First... first place?" Dai whispered. "We... we..."

"Dai!"

Dai turned back to the starting block and his chest fluttered. Standing in front of him was his team, all with bright smiles on their faces.

"That was truly beautiful and inspirational, Dai-kun!" Rei complimented.

"Way to go, Dai-chan!" Nagisa shouted, jumping up and down.

"Good work, Dai," his fellow first-year said as he extended a hand down to him.

Dai stared at the hand for a moment, the gesture seeming familiar. He smiled and grasped his friend's hand.

"Yeah!"

* * *

Kanade bit her lip as she flipped open her phone, going back to those text messages from earlier. She had strayed from the path and found herself sitting at a bus stop. She ran for a few minutes before her lungs and chest felt like they would explode, and then she slowed to an aching walk in the city before finding the bus stop.

She opened the texts from Takuya and her thumbs hovered over the keys. She had already agreed the night before to meet him, and she promised Haru that she would back off of Makoto like he had originally wanted.

She sighed.

 _To: Takuya_

 _Thursday dinner sounds fine._

Send.

That was fine, right? It's just dinner. Just dinner…

Immediately, Kanade got a text back.

 _To: Shizumi_

 _Great! There's a café near your university. Let's meet there at 6. See you then!_

Kanade sighed at the text.

 _What am I doing?_ She asked herself.

She scrolled down to view the text from Makoto and she winced.

 _Please?_

She sighed at the word. Something churned in her stomach as she hit the reply button.

 _To: Makoto_

 _Sorry, but I can't. Have fun!_

Her thumb shook as she hit the send button. She hunched forward and rested her arms on her knees, endless sighs escaping her lips.

 _Seriously… what am I doing?_

* * *

"Bye, guys!"

"Later, Nagisa-senpai! Rei-senpai!"

Nagisa and Rei waved their younger teammates off. The sun was barely touching the horizon, making the sky light up in an array of red and orange hues. Nagisa, who earlier was bouncing with energy, now was grinning with mellowed excitement.

"Can you believe it, Rei-chan?" Nagisa asked, whipping his head to glance up at Rei. "Our relay gets to move on to regionals!"

"Yes, it was incredible!" Rei said. They both turned to start walking down the path towards their homes. "Dai's swimming has truly blossomed into something beautiful."

"Not only that, but your butterfly definitely improved!" Nagisa complimented.

Rei gave a proud smile and folded his arms across his chest, lifting his chin up and closing his eyes.

"Well, I _did_ place first in my event," Rei said proudly.

"Hehe! Yes, you did," Nagisa said, also showing a proud look. "You did so great, Rei-chan!" Nagisa yelled, giving him a wide smile.

"A-Ah, thank you, Nagisa-kun," Rei responded. He glanced at the road and huffed a small sigh. "I wish Haruka-senpai and Makoto-senpai could have seen us today."

"Yeah, it would've been cool to have them there. But they cheered us on from Tokyo, remember?" Nagisa said. "Even Kana-chan wished us luck!"

"Ah, you're right," Rei answered. "It was such a short phone call. I suppose they've been pretty busy with classes starting back up."

"O-Oh, right," Nagisa stuttered.

They were both silent for a while, continuing to walk down the path. The sun was setting even more now, making shadows grow dim.

Nagisa's smile dwindled into a small pout, his mind reaching back to earlier on the train ride back. The career survey…

"Hey, Rei-chan," Nagisa called, his face hidden from Rei. "Do you think Mako-chan likes his university?"

Rei blinked at him. Where was this going?

"H-He said he was enjoying it, right?" Rei asked. "Both he and Haruka-senpai said that school was going fine."

"Yeah," Nagisa agreed.

They walked a little bit in silence, Nagisa's hands gripping his backpack nervously. He brows creased anxiously as he stared at the sidewalk. He remembered finding the sheet in Rei's duffle bag again, the words haunting him.

 _Career Survey_

 _Choice: ..._

Nagisa stopped in his tracks.

"Rei-chan!" Nagisa called.

Rei jolted to a halt and turned around to see a flustered Nagisa. His eyes were red and quivering, tears threatening to spill.

"Nagisa-kun?" Rei asked. "Wh-What's the matter?!"

Nagisa dropped his gaze and gripped the straps of his backpack.

"I saw your career survey sheet," Nagisa said.

"Eh?"

"Why did you cross out that you're going to college?!" Nagisa wailed, whipping his head up to stare intensely at Rei.

Rei's eyes widened. "Y-You looked through my belongings?" he whispered.

"Are you not going to college, Rei-chan?" Nagisa asked, his voice cracking.

"W-What?!" Rei yelped. "What gave you that idea?"

"Your career survey!" Nagisa yelled back. "You wrote down College as your choice but then crossed it out. I don't understand, Rei-chan. You're so smart. Why wouldn't you go for university?"

Nagisa had started to become a mess, with slick tears starting to roll down his flushed cheeks. His shaking hands gripped the straps of his backpack hard, making his knuckles turn white.

Rei blinked at him a few times, feeling slightly horrified at Nagisa's tears. He rushed towards him and put his hands on Nagisa's shoulders.

"I… I… I _am_ considering college, Nagisa-kun," Rei said. Nagisa jolted and popped his head up to meet Rei's gaze.

"But… but why would you cross it out on your career survey?" Nagisa asked. The tears stopped flowing, leaving only a few stray drops at the corners of his eyes.

Rei lowered his gaze and furrowed his brows, his glasses starting to slip down to the edge of his nose. His hands dropped from Nagisa's shoulders, making Nagisa stiffen and peer up at Rei's face.

"I... I'm… afraid," Rei said softly. Nagisa's shoulders relaxed. He dropped his hands from the straps of his backpack and let them rest by his sides.

"Afraid?" Nagisa asked. "What are you afraid of, Rei-chan?"

Rei took a few steps back and turned away from Nagisa, his head drooping to stare at the ground.

"I… don't know," Rei said honestly. "I've never been so uncertain about a decision before. And… you seemed to be relaxed about it all so I thought…" Rei paused, curling his fingers into fists. "I thought you had everything figured out and I… was being left behind."

Nagisa's eyes widened, feeling something bubble in his chest.

"What?!" Nagisa yelled, making Rei jump and spin around to face him. Nagisa's brows were furrowed sadly and his open mouth was pulled into a wide frown. He took a few steps to meet Rei. "I'm scared, too!"

"Y-You?" Rei asked, and Nagisa nodded furiously.

"Mhm! Rei-chan!" Nagisa said, building his confidence. "I saw you go to College Prep School."

"Eh?! You followed me?"

"Yes!" Nagisa said, nodding again. "So… I thought that… I thought that _you_ had everything figured out. Then, I saw your career survey. And you had crossed out College as your choice, and so I thought that maybe it wasn't working out and I was…" Nagisa closed his eyes and inhaled a shaky breath. "I was worried."

Rei's eyes widened again and started to quiver. "N… Nagisa-kun?"

"I was worried that you went to college prep school and that thought the workload was too much or something… and that I was pushing our team too much with the extra training so… I thought that maybe you… had given up on a future," Nagisa said sadly, his voice trailing off.

Rei stepped up to Nagisa and put his hands on his shoulders again. Nagisa waited for a confirmation from Rei, saying that he had nailed it on the head and that he had truly given up on a dream. Nagisa grimaced, not wanting Rei to say those things. He wanted Rei to go to college. He knew Rei would succeed.

Nagisa lifted his head up slowly and willed the tears to stop falling from his eyes. He gasped lightly when he saw Rei's kind and gentle face staring back at him.

"Nagisa-kun, I'm not giving up on college," Rei said. Nagisa just blinked at him, waiting for him to continue. "I'm just… not sure of where I want to go and what I want to study." Rei dropped his hands again, feeling dejected and deflated. "After what Shizumi-san told us, I didn't want to let you down. I wanted to keep working hard and find a goal and find a dream."

"Rei-chan…" Nagisa mumbled. "I'm… not leaving you behind, I… I'm not sure where I want to go or what I want to do, either."

Rei's sagging shoulders straightened as he jolted in shock. "You don't?" Rei asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Nagisa shook his head, feeling more confident now. "No," Nagisa answered. "I didn't want to talk to you about it because I thought you already knew what you wanted to do. Kana-chan's advice was really inspiring, and I wanted to make Rei-chan proud and I didn't want you to worry. Rei-chan is so smart and confident, I didn't want…" Nagisa's confidence shattered as his voice dissipated into the air. He dropped his gaze and his shoulders sagged. "I didn't want you to think I was lazy or stupid."

"Nagisa-kun," Rei started, his voice firm but loving. "You have worked so hard this year, especially with the swim club. You have shown excellent leadership, and I am proud to call you my captain."

Nagisa's eyes widened and his lips pulled into a wide smile. He lunged forward and buried his face into Rei's chest. Rei sputtered and stepped back a couple steps, taken aback by Nagisa's antics.

"N-Nagisa-ku—"

"Thank you… Rei-chan," Nagisa said, his voice muffled in Rei's shirt.

Rei's brows lifted and his face softened into a gentle, fond smile. He slowly wrapped his arms around Nagisa's small frame.

"Mmn," Rei hummed. "I guess we'll both have to follow Shizumi-san's advice and work really hard."

Nagisa peered up at Rei, his eyes a little damp. He blinked a few times to rid the remaining tears and then a smile bubbled on his face.

"Yeah!" Nagisa agreed. He backed off of Rei and put his hand into the air. "Rei-chan! Let's go get some popsicles!"

"Huh?! Now?" Rei asked.

"Yes! Let's go! If we hurry now, we can—"

Suddenly, Nagisa's phone went off in his bag. They both jumped and Nagisa quickly reached for his phone. He opened it up and saw that he received a text. But, his beaming smile vanished just as quickly as it had appeared.

"Nagisa-kun?" Rei asked, worry started to crease his features. "What's the matter? Who is it?"

Nagisa's eyelids lowered over his magenta eyes as his face fell into a tired stare. He paused, his lips pressing together.

"Mom… wants me to come home. Now."


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

* * *

"Kanade, you heading to class?" Makoto asked. "Here, I'll join you."

"A-Actually, I need to run somewhere first, so you go on ahead!" Kanade called, and she quickly escaped the apartment.

Makoto raised a brow, bewildered by Kanade's distant behavior. He sighed as he put on his shoes, wondering why Kanade is keeping him at an arm's length again. It was different when he realized that Haru had told her off. He understood why she had avoided him then.

But why is she avoiding him now? He thought everything was settled.

Makoto sighed again as he grabbed his bag and left the apartment. He passed by the front of the rec center and a smile crept onto his face. Tonight, his first class would start, and his chest bubbled with excitement.

He finally arrived onto the campus and rushed to the building where he and Kanade shared their first class of the day. He pushed open the door and walked inside, his head turning up towards the rows of seats. He glanced towards his usual seats and saw that they were both empty. He lightly sighed as he walked up the steps to take his seat.

Makoto put on his glasses and took out his notes, going over the material from last week. His eyes kept flitting from to the door every time it opened, but soon enough, the professor walked in and locked the door behind him. Makoto's back stiffened as the seat next to him would remain empty for the rest of the hour. Listening to the lecture proved difficult as his mind wandered, and he took out his phone.

 _To Kanade:_

 _Hey, where are you?_

Makoto rested the phone in his lap and waited. The professor's words went through one ear and out the other as his phone remained still and silent. He checked it a thousand times within the hour, seeing that his text was delivered, but ignored.

Something wrenched in Makoto's chest as a million different scenarios ran through his head at lightning speed. Did she get in trouble? Did she pass out somewhere?

Is she having another attack?!

"Make sure you study the material. See you all next class."

Makoto was abruptly pulled out of his thoughts and he watched his professor pack up his things. He scrambled to put his notebooks back into his bag and surged onto his feet. As he rushed out of the classroom, he dialed her number and held the phone up to his ear.

* * *

Rei stood in front of his shoe locker and he slipped off his shoes. He grabbed his school slippers and dropped them onto the floor, slipping his feet inside. He sighed as she grabbed the locker door and stared hard at the ground. His brows pushed together.

 _"Mom… wants me to come home. Now."_

 _"E-Eh…?"_

 _Rei blinked at Nagisa as his magenta eyes stared fearfully down at his pink phone._

 _"Why… why does she need you home?" Rei asked carefully._

 _"I don't know," Nagisa answered, his voice completely listless. He shoved his phone into his pocket. "Sorry, Rei-chan. I'll see you on Monday, okay?" Nagisa said, and he turned around to leave._

 _"A-Ah, Nagisa-kun!" Rei yelled, rushing to grab his wrist. Nagisa turned around and froze, staring back into Rei's frazzled face. "D-Don't run away from home!" Rei said._

 _Nagisa's eyes widened. "Rei-chan…"_

 _"If… if something is bothering you, you… you should talk to me," Rei said. "Don't run away from home if something comes up. Okay?"_

 _Nagisa blinked at him, and then he gave Rei a sad smile. Rei's heart broke at seeing that sad smile. Nagisa put his hand on Rei's and carefully tried to pry it off of his wrist._

 _"Mmn," Nagisa hummed, and Rei slowly released his arm. "Bye, Rei-chan!"_

Rei slammed his locker door shut, making some nearby students jump in surprise. He brushed past them without a word and headed to class.

 _This is troubling,_ Rei thought. _Nagisa-kun didn't talk to me at all after that. And he wasn't on the train this morning._

Rei's fears swelled as he headed down the hallway to his classroom, his brows furrowed and his eyes focused on the ground.

"Excuse me," he whispered as he slipped past a few students blocking the doorway. He lifted his head, expecting to see an empty classroom, but his jaw dropped when he saw Nagisa sitting at his desk. He was staring at his desk so hard that his head was hanging. Rei rushed to his desk and stood beside him.

"Nagisa-kun," Rei said, a hint of urgency in his voice. Nagisa jumped and looked up at Rei and put a skittish smile on his face.

"Oh, Rei-chan! Good morning!" Nagisa greeted shakily.

"What happened? You didn't respond to any of my texts or phone calls," Rei said.

"O-Oh, r-right!" Nagisa stuttered. "Sorry, I was a little busy."

Rei quirked a brow and stared down at his friend. He folded his arms across his chest and gave him an accusing look, and Nagisa laughed.

"What's with that look, Rei-chan?" Nagisa asked, a little more bubbly.

"What happened with your mom that night?" Rei asked. Nagisa blinked at him a few times before he turned his head and scratched his cheek.

"A-Ah, nothing really. Just wanted to talk about school stuff," Nagisa said.

Rei's brows creased, turning from frustrated to concern. His arms dropped to his sides as he stared down at his blond friend.

"That was all?" Rei asked. "Really?"

"Ah, yep!" Nagisa said quickly, snapping his head back up to him and flashing a huge smile. "Oh, Rei-chan, you better hurry up! Class is about to start!"

Rei jolted and glanced around, seeing that the rest of his classmates had already taken their seats. He quickly rushed up the row of desks and sat at his respective seat, sighing as he plopped down.

The teacher walked into the room, and after the class bowed, she held onto a piece of paper.

"All right, listen up," she started. "The guidance office will start holding individual meetings with all of you over the next few weeks. They want to start with those who didn't turn in a Career Survey."

Both Rei and Nagisa jumped and avoided their teacher's eyes.

"So the following students will have a meeting today. Takeda Tadashi. Okano Kiyoko. Hazuki Nagisa."

Rei jumped and turned around to risk a glance at Nagisa. Nagisa had a sad and nervous look on his face, his face scrunching up pitifully. Rei gulped. Was he going to cry?

"That's all for the meetings today. There will be more later this week and next week. Now please take out your textbooks."

Rei turned back in his seat and sighed, his hands fidgeting in his lap. He knew something was wrong. He risked another glance back at Nagisa, and his jaw dropped.

Nagisa was gritting his teeth and held his pencil in a death-grip, his knuckles turning white. His brows quivered as he stared through narrowed eyes down at his notebook.

 _N… Nagisa-kun?_

* * *

Kanade plopped down underneath the cherry tree in the courtyard and closed her eyes, lying on her back. The wind played with her hair, and the faint sounds of footsteps lulled her into a haze.

Takuya's face popped up in her mind. He was smiling so brightly when she agreed to meet. Could he always smile like that? Since when did he look that way? Why did it look... forced? Something was not right. And suddenly, Kanade felt sick to her stomach.

 _Why did I agree to this again? Am I a masochist or something?_ Kanade asked herself.

 _Why was he being so nice? He wasn't nice like that in our third year. He was downright cruel and distant!_

Kanade felt her heart flutter in her chest and she took a deep breath to calm her heart. This was really strange and foreign to her, wondering what happened to the old Takuya. Was he just remorseful? Did he really want to make amends?

Kanade's brow quirked.

 _Or did he want to get back together?_

Kanade's body stiffened at the thought. That's impossible. There was no way.

Right?

She sighed and thought of his face again, wondering what it would be like to be with him again. The man who she was with for nearly three years. The man who made her heart flutter every time he said her name. The man who would kiss so sweetly and gently that she thought she would pass out. Would they go on dates again? Would he come to her swim meets?

Kanade felt her heart pound and she shuddered. This feeling wasn't butterflies restling in her stomach.

It felt more like knives.

"Hey! Kanade! Are you okay?!"

Kanade's eyes popped open and she was met with a field of green. It reminded her of summer, of green grass and warm breezes. Her ice cold core suddenly melted into a warmth she could not put her finger on. She blinked a few times, seeing the man hovering over her with a worried look on his face.

"Makoto?" Kanade said.

Makoto visibly relaxed and sat back on the grass next to her. He leaned back on his hands and sighed heavily, a few beads of sweat dripping from his forehead.

"Thank goodness… I was worried that…" Makoto started. "That you had had another attack or something…"

"Huh? Why would you think that?" Kanade asked, sitting up to look at him. Makoto pointed at her bag.

"You weren't in class this morning," Makoto said. Kanade's eyes widened and then she looked away guiltily.

"Yeah," Kanade mumbled.

"And then you didn't answer any of my calls," Makoto said gently.

Kanade snapped her head to him and then she felt every pocket she had. She groaned and put her face into her hands.

"You forgot your phone, didn't you?" Makoto said with a deadpan expression. Kanade peeked at him through her fingers.

"M… Maybe?" she answered.

"Honestly," Makoto sighed, and he shook his head. He lied back onto the grass, his hands cradling his head. "I was so worried."

"Sorry," Kanade mumbled.

"So why weren't you in class?" Makoto asked, turning his head towards her. Kanade avoided his eyes, staring at the grass in front of her instead. She bit her lip.

"I, uh…" Kanade started. "I just… wanted to skip."

Makoto blinked at her, his face falling into a concerned stare. He sat up and turned to face her.

"Um, Kanade…" Makoto started, scratching his cheek. Kanade looked up at him. "Did I… did I do something wrong?" he asked. Kanade's eyes widened and she jolted.

"Huh?!"

"Well, because… if I did, I want to know how to fix it," Makoto said.

"Whaa? N-No! No, you didn't do anything!" Kanade said, putting her hands on his shoulders. Makoto's eyes widened at her touch and he felt a blush rise to his cheeks. "You… you never do anything wrong, Makoto," Kanade said softly, hanging her head.

"K-Kanade…" Makoto stuttered.

Kanade lifted her head to meet his gaze and she froze.

Their noses brushed together gently, both feeling the other's breath on their cheeks.

Snapping back to reality, Kanade ripped her hands from Makoto's shoulders and stood up.

"I… I… We… I've got to get to class!" Kanade yelled.

"Kanade, wait!" Makoto yelled.

But she ignored his pleas and she grabbed her bag in a rush and fled out of sight at lightning speed. Makoto scrambled to his feet and grabbed his bag.

"Kanade, wai—" Makoto looked up and saw that Kanade had completely disappeared. He sighed and hung tilted his head back, letting the wind cool down his hot cheeks.

* * *

"Hazuki-kun, it's your turn to go to the guidance office."

The teacher at the front of the room glanced down at her watch and then back up at Nagisa, who put on another fearful look. Nagisa stood up from his seat and passed Rei without a single glance. Rei tried to lock eyes with him before he left the classroom, but he passed through the doorway without looking back.

Nagisa slumped down the hallway and up to the guidance office. He opened the door with caution and stepped inside.

"Ah, Hazuki-kun!"

Nagisa cocked his head at the sound of his name and saw a kind woman waving at him from her desk. He gulped and then walked over to her, sitting down in front of her.

"Well then, Hazuki-kun," she started. "I see you failed to turn in your Career Survey sheet."

Nagisa let out a nervous chuckle and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I guess it just slipped my mind!" Nagisa excused.

"You shouldn't take these things so lightly, Hazuki-kun," she said, and Nagisa straightened.

"Right. I know."

The guidance counselor sighed. "The school received a call today from your parents. They were very adamant about having this meeting today."

"Mmn," Nagisa hummed, turning his head.

"They said that you needed to be convinced," she continued. "What did that mean?"

Nagisa bit his lip and squirmed in his seat, staring at the ground.

"They want me to go to a college in a major city," Nagisa said. "They said I had to, and that local colleges were out of the question."

"I see," the guidance counselor said. "And do you know what you want to study?"

Nagisa furrowed his brows. He was tired of everyone asking him this question. He now understood why Haru had so much trouble. He finally shook his head, avoiding her eyes as he studied the items on her desk.

"I see," she said again. She reached into her drawer of her desk and pulled out a folder. "Well, I did some research for you after your parents called. Here you are," she said, handing him a pamphlet.

Nagisa's eyes widened in curiosity as he looked at the pamphlet in her hand.

"What's this?" he asked.

"It's a brochure for a college," she said.

"Brochure?" Nagisa repeated, taking the pamphlet from her.

"Yes," the guidance counselor said. "It's for a school in Tokyo."

"T... Tokyo?" Nagisa muttered, the word hitting his chest like a knife.

 _But what about..._

"Yes. It has programs that excel in history, which I believe is one of your best subjects."

Nagisa opened the pamphlet with increased curiosity and his eyes widened.

"This is…" Nagisa paused and looked at the name at the front of the brochure.

"This is Haru-chan's school!"

* * *

Haru entered through the double doors of the rec center and headed towards the pool. He had received a text from Makoto earlier saying that his first class was tonight, and he sounded a little nervous or flustered... or both. Haru wanted to make sure he was all right so hopped on the train and quickly maneuvered through the busy streets to get to the rec center. He walked down the hallway that had an arrow above it that wrote "pool."

But Haru abruptly stopped a few feet away from the doors that led to the pool. His brows rose.

Standing in front of the door was Kanade, and she was standing on her tiptoes to peer through the window of the door. Haru blinked a few times and then looked around. Once he saw that the halls were empty, he faced Kanade and sighed. Gingerly, he took a step forward towards her.

Once he was right behind her, he could tell that she was straining to see through the window. He peered through the window easily and saw Makoto in the pool with the kids. He had a huge smile on his face, and the kids standing around him were attentive.

Haru turned his gaze back to Kanade, who had yet to notice him standing behind her. Her gaze was fixed on the brunette standing beyond the doors. Haru took a deep breath through his nose.

"Are you going in?" Haru asked.

Kanade jumped and whirled around, pressing her back against the door. She put her hand to her chest and stared up at Haru, her cheeks a little red.

"N-Nanase-kun?!" Kanade gasped. She sighed and clutched her shirt. "Geez, don't you know you shouldn't scare people who have weak hearts?!"

Haru winced a little. "Sorry," he said, looking away. But Kanade peered up at him and flashed him a kind smile.

"I'm teasing," Kanade said once she had caught her breath. She straightened and glanced towards the doors to the pool. "A-Are you here to support Makoto on his first day?" Kanade asked gently.

"Yeah," Haru answered, now looking back at her. She had a sad smile on her face.

"I see," Kanade said quietly. She turned back to meet his eyes, but quickly flitted her gaze towards the ground. "You're free to go on in… if you'd like."

"O-Oh, mmn," Haru said. "Aren't you coming, too?" Haru asked before Kanade could move away from the door.

"Hm? Oh, uh…" Kanade glanced back through the window. "Probably not. I'm sure he'd like to see you, though," she said, glancing at him with a smile.

"He… probably wouldn't mind seeing you, either," Haru said quietly, his eyes darting from the doors and then back to her.

Kanade's smile vanished from her face, her blue eyes widened curiously. Was… was he inviting her to join? She felt her heart flutter with a little excitement. Maybe things would be okay between them. Maybe…

 _"I don't know. I just don't want to mess up."_

Oh, right.

When he and Haru had not been on speaking terms, Makoto was a nervous wreck, defeating himself over and over. Kanade gulped painfully. If she butts in now… again… then she could tear Makoto and Haru apart again. Then Makoto would lose his drive, his passion, his dream.

"Ah, well… it's fine. You go on ahead. I'll just get in the way," Kanade said. She glanced back through the window of the door, barely able to see the top of Makoto's head. "I don't want to push him too much. He seemed really stressed last week, and I… I couldn't really make it better for him."

Haru pressed his lips together and curled his fingers into loose fists as he studied her fake smile. Her eyes shimmered a little in the light, and her fingers fidgeted a little.

"So… I think it would be best if _you_ were the face he saw today," Kanade said, turning her gaze to the ground. She straightened and then tiptoed past Haru. "See you later, Nanase-kun!" she said as she passed him, giving him a small smile.

Haru watched her pass by and then glanced through the window of the door. He saw Makoto happily explaining something to the kids, each of them wearing smiles or widened eyes. Haru's brows lowered and his fists tightened. He spun around to face Kanade.

"Shizumi," Haru called.

Kanade stopped in her tracks and turned her head back to look at him, a look of fear on her face. Haru gazed down at the ground for a few seconds and pursed his lips, trying to piece together his sentence.

"Thank you… for getting him this job," Haru said. Kanade's eyes widened and her chest felt tight. "He looks… really happy," Haru said, gazing through the window of the door. Then, he glanced back at Kanade. "He looks happy… _here_."

Kanade stared at him, trying to understand his meaning. He was happy here? Of course, he was! He was teaching kids at the rec center. It was what he always wanted… or…

Was he meaning he was happy here… with _her?_

Kanade shook her head of those thoughts and then slapped on a small smile. There was no way he meant it like _that_.

"Yeah, of course!" Kanade said. "I think he's going to love this job a lot more than his last one." She laughed nervously as she rubbed the back of her head.

Haru's brows creased and his eyes narrowed as she turned towards the door once again. She lifted her hand to him and offered a kind wave.

"Have fun, Nanase-kun!" she said, and she disappeared beyond the doors.

"Right…" Haru whispered to no one in particular.

Haru turned around and pushed through the double-doors, catching Makoto's attention immediately. Makoto met his gaze, and then he frowned, but quickly pushed a smile back on his face. Haru's face hardened, realizing Makoto was disappointed. Makoto raised his hand and waved to Haru and Haru nodded back at him. He headed up to the bleachers and sat down, quietly observing Makoto's class.

Haru was pretty impressed. Makoto was doing an excellent job, telling the kids about safety and how to float and hold their breath. The kids were very attentive and amazed at "Tachibana-sensei's" teaching skills. Haru snorted, the name "Tachibana-sensei" suiting Makoto perfectly.

Once the class was over, Makoto walked over to Haru with a towel around his neck and sat down next to him on the bleachers. He heaved a happy sigh and started to run the towel through his damp hair.

"Good work," Haru said, handing him a water bottle.

"Ah, thank you, Haru," Makoto said, taking the bottle from him and taking a drink. "The kids are great! I can't believe I get to do this."

Haru glanced at Makoto, seeing that he had a fond smile on his face. Haru pursed his lips and glanced out at the pool.

"I told you that you could make it happen," Haru mumbled, a light blush on his cheeks. Makoto chuckled and glanced out at the pool.

"Ah, yes, you did say that," Makoto said. "But I didn't do it on my own… I have Kanade to thank for this."

Haru turned his head and glanced at Makoto, watching the moment Makoto's face fell. Haru winced, and a stabbing pain twisted in his chest like a knife.

"I… I ran into Shizumi," Haru said. Makoto snapped his head back to Haru with widened eyes. "She was watching through the door." Haru nodded towards the double doors and Makoto eyed the door with a dropped jaw.

"Oh," was all Makoto said, and he turned his head to peer into his lap.

"Makoto," Haru called, making Makoto's head rise slowly. But he was attentive to listen to whatever Haru had to say. "You really need to talk to her."

Makoto cocked his head, his eyes looking tired.

"She wants to back off so that she doesn't get in the way of our friendship," Haru said. Makoto blinked at him.

"She… she's not in the way!" Makoto blurted.

"I know," Haru said. "So tell her how you feel."

"E-Eh?!" Makoto's face flushed. "B-But, Haru! What if she doesn't like me like that? And… and she's under enough stress as it is!"

Haru deadpanned and then looked away. "Hopeless."

"Huh?!"

"Never mind," Haru said bluntly.

"H-Haruu!"


	30. Chapter 30

Sometimes you want to slap characters with their own books. Am I right?

Enjoy :)

* * *

Chapter 30

* * *

Kanade fidgeted in her seat, her hands idly spinning her pen in her fingers. She heard none of the words that the professor said during the lecture, and she took no notes. She glanced down at her phone in her lap and looked at her calendar. At the top, it read "Thursday." She glanced to her side and saw Makoto actively taking notes with his glasses resting on his nose. Kanade cringed a little, feeling nervous about sitting next to him today.

Of course this professor would schedule a make-up class on a day they usually had off. She sighed and continued to twirl the pen in her fingers.

 _Hey, how about dinner on Thursday?_

Kanade's pen suddenly flew off of her fingers and onto the ground, making both her and Makoto jump. Makoto glanced at her with furrowed brows before he bent down to pick up the pen. He held it out to her and Kanade stared at it for a moment before reaching out.

 _Great! There's a café near your university. Let's meet there at 6. See you then!_

Kanade's grasp slipped when she touched Makoto's fingers and the pen fell again. They both stared at the pen on the ground between them for a moment before Makoto bent down to pick it up again. When he leaned up, Kanade was met with a worried gaze. Makoto set the pen gently in her hand and straightened, but he kept his eyes on her, even when she turned away.

After class, Kanade scrambled to get her things together and she shot up from her seat. She rushed out of the room and headed for the exit, wanting to avoid any conflict, any lecture, any—

"Kanade!"

—any worried glances.

Kanade's arm was grabbed gently but it was enough for her to stop moving. She cautiously turned around, knowing it was Makoto who had stopped her.

"What's wrong?" Makoto asked.

"Eh?" Kanade whimpered out, trying to look innocent and clueless. "N-Nothing is wr—"

"Don't," Makoto interrupted, and Kanade widened her eyes.

"Makoto…"

Makoto hung his head and grimaced. "You…" His grip on her arm tightened. "You've been avoiding me."

Kanade looked back at him, horrified. "W-What?"

"You're avoiding me, and I'm not sure what I did wrong…" Makoto whimpered out.

"Makoto, you did nothing wrong. I'm just…" Kanade stopped, biting her lip. "I've just been busy…"

"Busy?" Makoto whispered, moving his head up to look at her. "Busy with… with what?"

"I've just… I…"

Kanade stared up at Makoto, who was still staring at her with worried green eyes. When her explanation fell flat, Makoto's face changed from worried to pained. His eyes lowered to look at the floor and his grip on her arm loosened. He almost looked disappointed.

And Kanade's heart twisted painfully inside her chest.

"I just… I just have somewhere to be," Kanade said. She pulled out of his grip and put her hand on the door to leave the building.

"Kanade, wait, I—" And with that, Kanade scrambled out of the building. "I…"

Makoto sighed as he watched her disappear down the path to another building. His outstretched hand slowly dropped to his side.

"I... I like you…"

* * *

Rei kept glancing back at Nagisa all throughout class. Ever since he went to the guidance office, he had been distant and quiet. For lunch, he would say that he wanted to buy bread from the cafeteria, but he would disappear and not turn up until lunch period was over.

Rei glanced back over his shoulder once again and saw Nagisa sitting quietly at his desk. He was blankly staring down at his notebook, reading something stashed into his notebook. It looked like a… a pamphlet? Rei lowered his brows and squinted, trying to see it.

"Ah, Ryugazaki-kun," the teacher called, and Rei jumped and whirled around.

"Uh, y-yes?" Rei stammered, standing to his feet.

"It's your time to go to the guidance office," she said.

Rei hesitated, a knot forming in the pit of his stomach. He risked a glance back at Nagisa, who was staring at him with worried eyes.

"R-Right, thank you," Rei stuttered, and he promptly left the classroom and headed down the hall towards the guidance office.

He quietly and cautiously slid the door and open and stepped inside.

"E-Excuse the intrusion…"

"Ah, Ryugazaki-kun!"

Rei whipped his head to see a woman sitting behind a desk, waving at him. He gulped and then walked towards her.

"Have a seat," she invited, gesturing towards the chair. He stiffly sat in the chair with his hands in his lap. "So, Ryugazaki-kun, you didn't turn in a career survey."

"O-Oh, right, I suppose… I suppose I didn't," Rei said, looking down in his lap. He hands had curled into loose fists.

"And why is that?" she asked. "Do you not have any plans for after graduation?"

"A-A-Ah, w-well, I was still thinking about it, but I think I will be going to college," he stammered.

"Oh?" she responded. "Then why didn't you turn in a career survey sheet saying that?"

Rei paused and glanced down at his lap, his fists opening. He blinked a few times and his eyes narrowed sadly.

"I'm… I'm a little afraid," Rei said.

"Afraid? Well, I understand that this is an important decision, but it shouldn't frighten you."

Rei thought for a minute. He was very confident that he wanted to go to college. He had even written it several times on his career sheet and he went to prep school. He definitely wanted to go to college.

"It's not… I don't think it's the decision I'm afraid of…" Rei said.

"Oh?" she responded again. "Then what are you afraid of?"

Rei bit his lip and his brows furrowed. "I'm not sure exactly. Nag—ah, I mean, a friend of mine isn't sure where he wants to go, either and… I don't know… I'm a little anxious about starting school in a new city without…" Rei's heart jolted with realization. "… without him there," he finished.

The guidance counselor pondered for a moment, her hand to her chin.

"Who is this friend of yours?" she asked.

Rei blinked for a moment. "Nagi— uh, I mean, Hazuki Nagisa-kun."

The guidance counselor smiled as if she understood something and she nodded at his response.

"I see," she said. "Well, have you looked into any schools, Ryugazaki-kun?"

"Eh?" Rei blinked at her, a little thrown off at her sudden change in subject. "O-Oh, uh, some of the colleges nearby."

"Hmm…" She rummaged through her drawer. "And you excel in sciences, right?" she asked, flipping through a stack of papers that were now on her desk.

"Um… I… suppose, yes," Rei answered, watching her carefully.

"Then have you ever thought about looking a little bigger?" she asked. Rei blinked at her and cocked his head. He adjusted his glasses when they slipped down his nose.

"Um… I'm sorry?" Rei asked, his brows lowering in confusion.

"You know, venturing out of your comfort zone?"

Rei blinked and hardened his gaze, his face scrunching up in more confusion.

"I don't really know if I understand," Rei said solemnly.

"My goodness," the guidance counselor said, shaking her head. But she glanced back at him with a sweet smile. "Take this."

She handed Rei a pamphlet. Rei adjusted his glasses nervously as he took the pamphlet from her hand. He opened it up to read about the specialties.

"They offer programs that focus heavily in the sciences," she explained. "With pretty decent sports programs available. One of the best schools in Tokyo."

Rei's eyes widened. _Tokyo?_

He quickly flipped the brochure shut and glanced at the front. His eyes widened as his glasses slipped to the tip of his nose.

"This… this is Makoto-senpai's school…"

* * *

Kanade shoved her hands into her hoodie pockets and huffed nervously. Her eyes were glued to the sidewalk and she barely noticed the busy pedestrians that brushed past.

 _There's a café near your university._

Kanade glared at the ground, knowing the café that he was referring to. She turned down a corner and walked down a few more blocks, arriving at the small café that she was all-too familiar with. She stood in front of the glass doors, staring back at her reflection.

 _Let's meet at 6._

Kanade glanced down at the time on her phone, realizing it was exactly 6:00. She took a slow, deep breath and reached out to open the door. Her hand paused on the door for a moment before she pulled it open and stepped inside. It was fairly busy with it being dinner time, and the cooks and waitresses were rushing about at their own stations.

Suddenly, a bout of nausea churned in Kanade's gut, and she pushed a hand against her stomach.

 _This was a bad idea_ , Kanade thought. _I should just leave. Yeah! I'll call Makoto right now._

Kanade shakily pulled out her phone and turned around to leave.

"Ah, Shizumi! Over here!"

Kanade jumped at the voice and sharply turned her head towards the source. She gulped when she saw the culprit sitting in a booth in the corner of the restaurant. He was waving his hand cheerfully at her with an eerily bright smile on his face. Black hair fell into his face and his brown eyes shone brilliantly.

Takuya.

 _"Wow, this restaurant is really good!"_

 _"I know, right? I thought you'd like it."_

 _"You're really too sweet, Takuya."_

 _"Well, I_ am _the best."_

 _"Takuya!"_

Kanade narrowed her eyes at him, her heart threatening to break her ribcage.

 _What am I doing?_ She thought as she pocketed her phone and walked over to him. _This is crazy... This is stupid._

She slid into the seat across from him and stared at the table to avoid his chestnut brown eyes. She could feel those familiar eyes staring at her as she grabbed a menu.

"So how are you?" Takuya asked. Kanade cringed a little, hearing his voice being so sweet and caring.

 _What's with that face?_ she thought. _Stop being so nice._

"Ah… good," Kanade said, flipping a page of the menu.

"That's… good," he answered. "School going well?" he asked.

"Yeah," Kanade said, her eyes glued to the menu. She did not dare look up at his face. "What… what about you? I thought you went to a school in Kyoto…" she said, her head turning to pretend the other page of the menu.

"O-Oh, yeah," Takuya said. "Well, I kind of had a falling out with school."

Kanade lifted her head from the menu to stare at his face. He had an uncomfortable smile on his face. She felt her brow twitch.

 _"What's wrong, Takuya?"_

 _"Ah, I just had a bad day, that's all."_

 _"Oh. Anything I can do?"_

 _"You just being here makes it better."_

Kanade winced and shook her head in disgust and then looked back down at the menu uncomfortably.

 _Ew. Gross. So fake._

"I got kicked out," Takuya explained.

Kanade's head snapped back up at him and she raised a brow. "Kicked out? What for?"

"W-Well, I… it's not important," Takuya said.

They both fell into an awkward silence. Kanade winced, feeling uncomfortable in her own skin as she glanced back down at the menu. She could see the words on the pages but could not process what they were saying. Her brain was buzzing with a million questions. Why did Takuya ask to meet her here? Why did he get kicked out of school? Why did he mean by he wanted to 'make it up to her' for being awful? Why…

Why did he leave the hospital that day?

Why did he ignore her for the rest of high school after that?

Why did he turn her friends against her? Did he not know that she celebrated graduation alone?

Why... why... **why _._**

"Ah, so… the Olympics are next year. Are you going to try out for them, or something?"

Kanade snapped out of her thoughts and jumped. "Yep," Kanade said bluntly, her eyes still pretending to read the menu in her hands.

"Really?" he asked. "That's awesome!"

Kanade popped her head up from the menu and saw Takuya beaming at her. His black bangs fell over his fond eyes as he grinned happily. His smile was so familiar and so loving, just as she remembered when they first were together.

It hurts.

"You've worked so hard for this, so I know you'll do really well," Takuya said. "You were always one of the best in high school!"

 _Where were you at my last tournament?_

Kanade narrowed her eyes at him as she lowered the menu down onto the table. Anger started to bubble in her chest as more painful thoughts and unanswered questions popped into her head. She put her hands in her lap and curled them into fists. Something wasn't right. Why was he being so kind? This isn't how she remembered their last year together.

"I mean… you've been through a lot, so… you really deserve this."

 _"Another doctor's appointment? Seriously? I'm out of here. Text me when you're done."_

Kanade looked away from his way-too-happy face and stared at her lap, her fists progressively getting tighter.

"I'm really proud of you."

Kanade's eyes widened.

 _"I can't do this."_

"Shizumi…"

Takuya's voice suddenly turned soft and gentle, causing Kanade to whip up her head to look at him. His smile was gone and a sad frown had replaced it.

"Listen, I…" Takuya started. "What I did to you at the hospital… breaking up with you right there and leaving you all alone… it was wrong."

Kanade's brows lowered as she stared down at the table in disbelief. What did he just say? Was he... actually apologizing? Who in the world was this guy, and what did he do to the original Takuya?

Something's off.

"I am… so, so sorry," Takuya said. "I was hoping that… I was hoping that maybe… maybe we could… get back together."

Kanade's eyes widened as painful thoughts jolted through her memory. The regional competition, the heart attack, the hospital, the…

 ** _"I can't do this anymore."_**

Kanade abruptly stood up from the booth, mincing the rest of Takuya's words in the air, and she started to walk out.

 _Foolish,_ she thought. _That's what Fukui-san had called me._

She headed for the door, ignoring the sound of her name being shouted behind her. She could feel the stares of the staff and customers eyeing her as she stormed out.

 _Stupid,_ Kanade said. _That was something else he called me._

She pushed open the door to the restaurant and quickly stormed out, feeling tears pricking at her eyes.

 _He was absolutely right… I am foolish and stupid._

"Shizumi, stop!"

Kanade did not get very far as her wrist was grabbed and she was stopped in her tracks. She grit her teeth and tried to get out of his grasp. She desperately wanted to escape the oh-too-familiar touch of his skin.

"Please, just listen to me!"

Kanade winced, avoiding his eyes, and she weakly tried to pull her hand away from him again. This was wrong. This shouldn't be happening. This shouldn't…

"Kanade…"

Kanade froze.

 _"Way to go, Kanade! You got first!"_

 _"Kanade, you're so beautiful…"_

 _"Kanade, can… can I kiss you?"_

A few tears fell out of her eyes at hearing her name fall effortlessly from Takuya's lips. It was so familiar and so natural. But…

But why did it feel… repulsive?

"Kanade, listen to me. Please."

Kanade whipped her head back to face him, and he was able to take in the tears on her face. He looked close to tears as well, his hand gently holding her wrist.

"I… I want a second chance, Kanade," he said.

Kanade felt her chest flutter and then tighten. More tears spilled from her eyes as she tried to comprehend his sentence.

 _A… second chance?_

"I want you back in my life, Kanade," Takuya said. "During the summer break, I stopped by your place a few times, but you weren't there."

Kanade's eyes widened. He stopped by her place to see her? But she wasn't there, she was… she was with…

An image of a tall, green-eyed guy formed in her mind. She could see his brown hair and the tilt of his head as he smiled. The way his cheeks blushed lightly when he would speak to her, or when his ears turned red when he was embarrassed. She could smell his cologne, and she could picture the sweet, sweet sound of his beautiful laugh. The words…

 _"I'm not going to leave."_

 _"I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere. I promise."_

 _"I'm right here, and I'm staying."_

The fear and despair melted from Kanade's core and the tears dried. She straightened from her cowering position and jerked her hand out of Takuya's grasp, his hand finally letting go. He jolted back in shock, staring at her hand. Then, he glanced up and was met by Kanade's gaze. His eyes widened.

She was glaring at him viciously, but there was no sign of fear or submission in her eyes. There was a new passion burning in her eyes. Something that he could not describe or put a finger on. He took a step back, his brows lowering a little.

"I can't do this anymore," Kanade said.

Takuya blinked at her, confusion and apprehension spreading across his face.

"What?" he asked.

"Those were the last words you ever spoke to me," Kanade said. "So I'm going to tell you something similar. It's not just that I _can't._ I _won't_."

Takuya paused for a moment, and then his demeanor completely changed. His face fell from his innocent and pleasant smile into a harsh scowl. Kanade's brows lowered.

 _There's the real you._

"This is ridiculous," Takuya spat.

Kanade stayed silent with her fists by her side as she stared at him, not backing down.

"C'mon, don't you miss me? At _all_?" Takuya asked. Kanade's fists tightened as her nails dug into her skin. She stayed silent. "Seriously? You told me you _loved_ me."

Kanade winced and sharply turned her head away from him. Fear suddenly crept back into her spine as Takuya spat more hurtful words. People on the street were starting to stare, and Kanade started to feel exposed and vulnerable.

Something is _definitely_ off.

She can't be here.

She needs to leave.

This isn't safe.

Kanade turned and started to walk down the street, her shoulders slumping and cowering as she tried to get away from the hostile man that stood a few feet away.

"You're just walking away?!" she heard Takuya yell from behind. "Dammit, seriously?!"

Kanade quickened her pace, trying to get out of Takuya's gaze. Before she was at a safe distance, she heard Takuya yell one more time.

"This isn't over!"

Kanade shuddered at the threat, her legs pushing into a sprint. She ran several blocks, not even noticing the growing pain in her chest.

 _What does he mean 'this isn't over'? It was over when you stopped talking to me!_ Kanade thought. _Something isn't right… he was never this… possessive._

Kanade made it all the way to the rec center and then doubled over, feeling the full force of her weak heart catching up to her in one heap. Her vision swirled and blackened at the edges, and she reached out and felt for the wall of the building. She slumped against the wall, her legs feeling like jelly. She was only a few steps from entering the front door but she could not will her legs to move.

 _Ah, this sucks…_ Kanade thought. Her pants were loud and raspy, and her chest felt as if someone was standing on top of her. _Makoto isn't going to be happy if he sees me… I need to get upstairs before—_

"Kanade?!"

Kanade turned her head up from the ground at the familiar voice. She gulped down another breath and she squinted her eyes to see. She could recognize the messy, brown hair and the familiar green t-shirt.

 _Oh…_ Kanade thought, her knees weakening as her vision turned black. _I guess he found out anyway. Oh, well…_

Kanade fell and slumped to the ground with a thud.

"Kanade! Kanade, can you hear me?! Kanade!"

"KANADE!"


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

* * *

 _"Kanade!"_

 _Kanade turned her head back to look down the street, hearing the angry voice booming from behind._

 _"Takuya?" she whispered. "H-Hey, what are you…"_

 _"Why did you ditch?" Takuya yelled in her face as he got close. Kanade took a step back and cowered from him._

 _"Ditch? I-I didn't! I had a doctor's appointment, remember?" Kanade said._

 _"Another one?" he sighed. He ran fingers through his hair. "When is this going to stop? When can I have you as mine for a day? How often do you need to do this?"_

 _"It's not going to stop anytime soon, Takuya," Kanade said. "This… this isn't something that I can control."_

 _"But you're never around anymore! All you do is swim and then go to the doctor's."_

 _"I'm in the swim club, Takuya! I have to go to practice."_

 _"If you can't make time for me then you should just quit!" Takuya spat._

 _Kanade blinked up at him, feeling pain in her chest. Just quit? What in the world was he saying?_

 _"I can't just quit…" Kanade mumbled. "Swimming is important to me."_

 _"And I'm not?" Takuya hissed. "How is it that I'm not important to you?"_

 _"Takuya, that's not what I—"_

 _"Whatever," Takuya sighed. He turned his back to Kanade and ran his fingers through his hair in a frustrated sweep. "Just… see you tomorrow." He started off down the street with quick, fluid steps, easily getting away from Kanade's view._

 _"Takuya, wait!" Kanade shouted. "Takuya!"_

* * *

"…is fine…"

"…is bad! We… we have to go to the hospital, don't we?!"

"Makoto, calm down."

"But, she passed out! Isn't this an attack?!"

"No, it just looks like exhaustion. She would be having much more trouble breathing if it were an attack. And her heart rate is normal."

Kanade stirred when she heard raised voices in the room. Her eyes fluttered open and she groaned when she saw the room spinning. She shut her eyes tight and covered them with her hands.

 _I had forgotten all about that stupid fight we had back then,_ Kanade thought, her mind fluttering back to her dream. _How did I not remember that? Did I just… ignore it?_

 _Just… just how naïve was I?_

"Kanade!"

Kanade sighed, recognizing the voices. She lifted one hand to peer out of one eye. Hovering over her was Makoto and Fukui. Makoto had knelt down by her side, and Kanade realized that she was in her bedroom. She flushed when she realized that Makoto was in her room and she covered her eye once again to hide her face.

"Are you all right?" Makoto asked gently, and Kanade felt a warm hand touch her shoulder. She jumped at first but the warmth of his palm sent tingles down her arms.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine," Kanade murmured.

"No chest pain, kid?" she heard Fukui ask, and she shook her head. Kanade lifted her hands off of her face and rested them by her sides, staring up at the ceiling. Luckily, the room was no longer spinning. "Good. Now what were you doing all day to get into this state? And don't tell me you were just going for a run."

"I…" Kanade started. She bit her lip, shooting Makoto a quick glance. His worried eyes were focused on hers, a few stray strands of his bangs falling in front of them. She sighed.

 _I have to tell the truth,_ Kanade thought.

"I was… I was meeting… Takuya," Kanade admitted, her voice small.

Makoto cocked his head in confusion while Fukui took in a sharp breath.

"What?!" he growled, making Makoto jump and turn his head back towards him. Fukui's brows were lowered over his fierce eyes and his teeth were grit. "Why would you go and meet him?"

Makoto blinked at Fukui and then slowly turned back to look at Kanade, who was fidgeting with the blanket.

"T…Takuya?" Makoto asked. "Who… is that?"

The name was familiar, but Makoto could not exactly place where he had heard it before. He watched Kanade as she sighed, her hands gripping the blanket that rested on her torso.

"He… he's my ex from high school," Kanade said, turning her head away from Makoto.

Makoto felt his stomach flip. He released her shoulder and retracted his hand. He lowered his head and stared at the floor, feeling something gnawing at his insides.

"Oh," Makoto said finally, his voice barely above a whisper, and Kanade whipped her head back to look at him.

He looked hurt.

Kanade's eyes widened. She opened her mouth to speak, but Fukui interrupted her.

"Why in the world would you go and see him?" he barked. "After all the pain he put you through, why would you go and meet with him? You're a foolish, stupid girl! I know I taught you better than—"

"I know…" Kanade interrupted. Her voice was small and lackluster, making Fukui swallow his words. He stared at her pained face but she refused to make eye contact. "It was a bad idea. I shouldn't have gone to see him. I'm sorry."

Fukui hesitated for a moment, a little caught off-guard by Kanade's sudden apology. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, shaking his head.

"All right, all right," he mumbled. Kanade turned her head to look up at him. "Just rest up, okay? I'll go get some food and medicine for you."

"Mmn," Kanade hummed.

She watched as Fukui disappeared through the doorway, shutting the door behind him. There was a silence that fell in the room, and Kanade's eyes fell on Makoto's hurt face. He was still studying the ground, his shoulders slumped and his hair falling into his eyes. She hesitated.

"Makoto," she called.

Makoto's head lifted from the ground to look at her, his eyes still lidded and pained.

"I…" Kanade started. Her hands gripped the blanket. "I've… I've been avoiding you lately, and… it was stupid."

Makoto's eyes widened, the pain suddenly vanishing from his face.

"Kanade…"

"Last week, I ran into Takuya," Kanade started. She turned her head to stare up at the ceiling. "And he spoke to me. It was the first time we talked since…"

A lump lodged itself into Kanade's throat as she spoke and she desperately tried to swallow it down. She gripped the sheets like a vice, trying to will her voice to stay even and her tears not to fall.

"A-Anyway…" she choked. "He apologized to me for what happened, and he said he wanted to meet up. I wanted to refuse but… he was… nice. I… I got caught up in old feelings and I got my hopes up, thinking… that maybe he wanted to be nice to me again instead of…"

Kanade felt a tear slide down her cheek as she spoke, the lump stopping her words from escaping her throat. She lifted up her hands and covered her face to hide from Makoto. Guilt and shame started to weigh down on her shoulders, and she felt as though she would sink through the bed. She tried to choke back sobs, but she felt a hand touch her wrist, trying to get her to move her hands from her face.

"Kanade, don't cr—"

"It was a mistake," Kanade said through her hands. "I never should have gone there to meet him. It was such a mistake…"

"Kanade, please, don't—"

"I'm… s-sorry," Kanade whimpered out through her hands, cutting off Makoto's words. "It was so… stupid to avoid you because of this."

"Kanade, don't apologize. I understand, it's—"

"Please forgive me," Kanade said. Her voice was so soft that Makoto's heart broke into pieces. He grabbed her wrists and finally pulled them from her face and then carefully pulled her into his arms.

"Of course," Makoto whispered gently. "Of course I forgive you."

Kanade rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, feeling his hands gently rubbing her back. She reached her hands up and gripped his shirt, pulling him closer.

"It's going to be okay," Makoto whispered.

Kanade nodded into his shoulder and held on tight. She could feel his warm hands hold her shoulders delicately as if she was made of glass. His cologne filled her senses and she breathed him in as her nose nuzzled his neck. She sighed, feeling the pang in her chest finally subside, and she nodded again, squeezing him against her.

"All right," came Fukui's voice from the doorway.

Makoto leaned back and released Kanade, and she glanced towards the doorway to see Fukui with a tray in his hands.

"Here's some food and some meds," he said, walking to her side and setting the tray down. Kanade sat up slowly, Makoto's hand shooting to her back to help her lean up. She gave him a soft smile. "I'm going to schedule a doctor's appointment."

Kanade's head whipped up to meet his eyes and she blinked at him. A look of fear replaced her blank expression.

"Now, now, don't give me that look," Fukui said. "The doctor should know about this."

Kanade lowered her gaze to meet Makoto's, her hands gripping the blanket tightly. She bit her lip and quickly turned her head to glare into her lap, fearful of Makoto's reaction.

"Ah, I'll go, too," Makoto said to Fukui.

Kanade's head snapped up again, her eyes wide as she stared at Makoto. He turned his gaze from Fukui to look back at her, his face gentle and kind, and his smile as brilliant as ever.

She loved that smile.

"Makoto, you… you're not…" Kanade started, her hands gripping the blanket.

 _You're not tired of this, are you?_

She hung her head and tried to grasp at words, but they just kept getting jumbled.

"Kanade, I already told you, didn't I?" Makoto said, his hand reaching to touch her shoulder. She glanced up at him. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

Kanade thought her heart would burst.

She felt her eyes tear up, but she smiled brightly at him and nodded happily.

"Good," Makoto said.

"Okay, okay!" Fukui grumbled. "Now that that's over, eat something so you can take your meds! Sheesh."

"Fineee!" Kanade whined. She turned to Makoto and smiled at him again.

And Makoto smiled back.

* * *

"You guys have trained so well! And just in time for regionals tomorrow," Gou announced, and all of the first-years eyes lit up.

"It's our chance to win our relay and go to nationals!" the backstroke swimmer yelled.

"Well, we have to come in first place," Dai said. He put his hands on his bare hips and stared up at the sky.

"It's doable," Gou said, folding his arms across her chest. "I mean, we were able to do it last year!"

"But you had Nanase-san and Tachibana-san!" the other first-year said.

"You guys are just as strong as they are," Gou said. "You've been training really hard the past few weeks, so I know you can do it. Right, Nagisa-kun, Rei-kun?"

The team glanced over to Nagisa and Rei. Nagisa was sitting quietly on the edge of the pool. He swished his feet in the water, making light splashes. He stayed silent, his magenta eyes staring vacantly into the pool.

Rei was sitting on one of the starting blocks, staring blankly at his feet. He fidgeted with his goggles in his hands.

Gou's hands dropped to her sides when the two of them did not respond.

"Nagisa-kun? Rei-kun?" she called lightly, and the two of them jolted. Nagisa turned his upper body to stare back at his teammates and Rei stood up from the starting block.

"A-Ahh, sorry!" Nagisa squeaked out, immediately putting on a smile.

"Sorry, Gou-san," Rei apologized.

"What's going on?" Nagisa asked.

Their teammates all exchanged worried glances before turning their heads back to him.

"We were talking about regionals…" the backstroke first-year whispered.

"Oh!" Nagisa chirped, and he stood to his feet and rubbed the back of his head. "Right, that's tomorrow, isn't it?"

"Ah, you're right," Rei said, putting on a smile as well.

An awkward silence fell on them, the air becoming suddenly thick and heavy. Both Nagisa and Rei's smiles dwindled as their minds drifted back into their thoughts.

"Ah, w-well, you should go and practice your exchanges," Gou said, turning her head to Dai and the backstroke swimmer.

"R-Right," Dai stuttered. He turned to his fellow first-year. "Let's go."

They both headed towards the pool and stood in front of Nagisa and Rei, prompting them both to straighten up and get ready for practice. Gou folded her arms across her chest and stared at them.

"Is it just me, or are those two acting strange?" the first-year whispered to Gou.

Gou turned her head to look at him and she nodded. "Something's wrong."

The first-year paused. "I heard they had meetings with the guidance counselor a few weeks back," he said. Gou turned her head at him, her heart jumping. "Maybe… maybe that has something to do with it?"

Gou narrowed her eyes and pondered it for a moment before turning her head back to the pool. The two of them watched as the rest of the team practiced their exchanges. Their exchanges in their dives were perfect, but Nagisa and Rei exchanges with each other were terrible. After a few rounds of going through their relay, the two of them parted ways and said nothing to each other, or anyone for that matter.

And what was most strange was their specific attitudes. Nagisa's face scrunched up angrily, and he stomped as he walked back to the locker room. Rei, on the other hand, was very scatterbrained. He seemed distracted, his eyes staring vacantly at the ground as he fumbled his way back to the locker room.

Gou pursed her lips as she witnessed them, taking note of their behavior.

"Something is _definitely_ wrong."

* * *

Makoto walked down to the rec center with his duffle bag in his hand. He would be teaching another class tonight and was bubbling with more excitement. Pushing through the double doors to the pool, he wandered over to the supplies and prepared for the class.

Once he set his bag down, he heard a light splashing coming from the pool. He whipped his head up and glanced out at the pool. A small, slender body was cutting through the water. Once they reached the starting wall, they removed their goggles from their eyes, revealing a sea of deep blue.

Makoto's eyes widened.

 _Kanade?!_

Makoto abandoned his supplies and rushed over to the lane, his features hardening with worry.

 _What is she doing? She fainted last week! Isn't she still not allowed to swim?_

"Kanade?" Makoto called, making Kanade turn her head up from the lane. She smiled at him and waved.

"Hey, Makoto!" she chirped. "Getting ready for your class?"

"Uh… mmn," Makoto hummed. "But what are you doing?! Aren't you still healing?" he asked as he knelt down to her.

Kanade giggled lightly at him, and Makoto thought his chest would burst at the pure sound.

"I got my stitches out today, remember?" Kanade said with a big smile. Makoto blinked at her for a moment before hanging his head and sighing.

"O-Oh, right," Makoto sighed. "Sorry."

"Hey!" Kanade shouted, making Makoto whip his head up to stare at her in surprise. "Don't apologize! Remember?" Kanade said, pointing a finger at him. Makoto blinked, his eyes on her finger, and then his face softened into a warm smile.

"Right, right," he chuckled. "So how's it feel to be back in the water? You feel okay?"

Kanade flashed a wide smile. "Oh, it feels amazing!" she shouted. "I can start going back to practice next week."

"That's great!" Makoto said with a smile.

"Yep!" Kanade said.

"Your coach is fine with you having a pacemaker?" Makoto asked gently.

Kanade turned her head and she laughed nervously.

"A-Ah, actually…" Kanade said, raising a hand to rub the back of her head. "I kind of told him that I had the flu."

"Eh?...EH?!" Makoto's jaw dropped. "What do you _mean_ you told him you had the _flu_?!"

"W-Well…" Kanade said, turning her head away. "If he knew about my condition, he wouldn't let me try out for the national team. I would be considered too "high risk" or something."

"B-But, Kanade…"

"It's all good, Makoto!" Kanade said, turning her head to look sheepishly back at him. "It'll be fine."

"B-But, don't you think your coach should know?" Makoto asked, and Kanade's smile dwindled. "He _is_ your coach. Maybe he'll let you swim anyway?"

Kanade glanced down at the water for a moment, studying the ripples that flowed from around her body. She sighed at seeing her own reflection and then shook her head lightly.

"No, he wouldn't," Kanade said. "It would be a liability."

Makoto hummed, his eyes flitting back to the concrete and uneasiness swirling in his gut.

"Oh, Makoto!" Kanade suddenly called, making him lift his head. "Wanna time me? I want to see how much catching up I need to do."

Makoto blinked at her for a moment before smiling brightly and giving her his signature head-tilt.

"Sure."

* * *

The train ride was eerily quiet as Rei stood next to Nagisa. Nagisa was simply holding onto the bar and staring at the ground, his mind obviously in a different place. Rei's brows pushed together sadly at the sight, but he just kept turning his head to look away. He had wanted to start a conversation multiple times, but he could not bring himself to say anything.

And he felt it was his fault that he and Nagisa were not speaking.

Ever since that trip to the guidance counselor's office, Rei felt… sad? That was not the right word. Disappointed?

Rei glanced down at Nagisa again and felt his heart clench.

Guilt.

Rei felt guilty for not telling Nagisa about his potential plans to study in Tokyo. How could he possibly tell him news like this? There would be no telling how Nagisa could react or…

Or how even Rei would react to saying the words out loud.

Rei was terrified of putting his "decision" into words. It would become real at that point, and Rei was scared.

But… what was he really scared of?

The announcer pulled Rei out of his thoughts as he broadcasted the next station. Rei glanced back down at Nagisa and saw that he had grabbed his duffle bag and was heading towards the train doors, ready to get off. Rei followed behind quietly and left the train.

"Ah, there you guys are!"

Nagisa and Rei glanced up and saw Gou, Dai, and the two first-years waiting for them at the station.

"Oh, Gou-san," Rei said. "Have you been waiting long?"

"Nope! We just got here!" Gou said. "Okay, now that everyone's here, let's go!" she shouted, excitedly putting a fist up into the air. The two first-years mimicked her while Dai laughed and rolled his eyes. She started to lead the group towards the stadium nearby, Rei and Nagisa watching them leave. They exchanged nervous looks at each other before talking quiet steps to follow.

Nagisa's eyes stayed glued to Rei's back as they walked to the stadium. His thoughts thudding against his head in pain.

 _"A ship won't turn unless it's already moving forward. If it's just sitting at port, it won't reach a destination."_

Nagisa narrowed his eyes, his feet slowing to a stop.

 _"So, even though you don't know what you want to do now, just keep going. Keep searching, keep working hard…"_

Nagisa lowered his head, studying the ground.

 _Kana-chan…_ he thought. _I am working hard, I'm doing my best, but…_

"Nagisa-kun, we need to go get ready," Rei said coolly from ahead. Nagisa grit his teeth and his hands curled into fists. He stood his ground, not wanting to move.

"Nagisa-kun?" Rei called, his brows creasing a little. Nagisa turned around to stare at Rei, his face crestfallen.

 _…but, what if I'm afraid to go through with a decision?_

"I know," Nagisa huffed and brushed past Rei and towards the stadium. Rei watched his back only for a moment before sprinting forward to grab his shoulder. Nagisa stopped in his tracks and avoided Rei's eyes.

"Nagisa-kun!" Rei said, his voice cracking a little. "I-I know that things have been strained, but… but I'm here for you," Rei said, and Nagisa winced. "I want to understand."

"You'll never understand!" Nagisa yelped, suddenly raising his head to stare into Rei's eyes. He flung Rei's hand off of his shoulder.

"B-But, I could try to!" Rei cried out. "But you never open up to me!"

"Well, what about _you_?!" Nagisa suddenly cried back. Rei's eyes widened and he took a step back.

"Wha… what about _me_?" Rei questioned, his glasses starting to slip down his nose.

"You didn't fill out your career survey, and you're acting weird! But you won't talk to me at all!" Nagisa said, his eyes brimming with tears.

"N-Nagisa-kun…" Rei stuttered.

"How can I talk to you if you avoid me?!" Nagisa wailed, raising a hand to wipe his face.

Rei's hands curled into fists and he glared at the ground. His hands began to shake with how hard he was squeezing them. He closed his eyes and inhaled.

"Nagisa-kun, I—"

"Oi!"

A familiar voice called them out of their conversation. They turned towards the entrance and saw an annoyed Gou standing with her hands on her hips.

"Your individual races are starting soon! Let's go!" she called, giving them a grumpy stare, and then she disappeared down the hall.

Rei and Nagisa stood completely frozen for a few moments before Nagisa turned to head down the hallway. Rei started and reached out his hand, but his voice got caught in his throat as he watched Nagisa's slumped back getting further and further away. He took a deep breath and hung his head, slowly following him.

* * *

Makoto hit the button the on the stopwatch and glanced down at it. He smiled and then looked down at Kanade, who was wading in her lane, panting.

"Your time is better than yesterday," Makoto told her. Kanade hesitated, her brows lowering a little.

"But it's not my best," she said firmly. Makoto's smile dwindled a little, but he tilted his head and tried to encourage her.

"You'll get there. You still have plenty of time," Makoto said. "Tryouts aren't until January, right?"

"Right," Kanade said, giving him an affirmative nod. She pumped her fists and smiled. "All right! Let's go again!" she said, and she climbed out of the pool.

"Eh?! Again?" Makoto protested. He put up his hands and tried to stop her from getting back onto the starting block. "But you've already had five timed runs. Isn't this a little much?"

"Maaaakotoo," Kanade whined. "C'mon! I'm _fine_."

"I can see that you're fine _now_ , but what about later when your heart is trying to catch up?" Makoto asked.

"Oh, stop worrying!" Kanade said. "The water won't hurt me. It does quite the opposite!" she said, smirking. Makoto straightened and blinked at her as she turned to look at the pool. She placed her hands on her hips. "It makes me feel… alive."

Makoto's eyes widened.

"All right, are you ready to time me?" Kanade asked, turning to face him. Makoto fumbled with the stopwatch, almost dropping it before he gave her a firm nod. She giggled at him and then took a step onto the starting block. "Ready when you are!" she told Makoto as she lowered her goggles over her eyes. She bent down at the starting block.

"Okay!" Makoto said. "Ready…" he started. Kanade exhaled and listened carefully. She could hear Makoto take a breath and she braced herself against the block. "G—"

"Stop right there!"

The sudden booming voice startled them both, and Kanade flopped forward and flailed into the pool. Makoto whipped his head down and knelt down by the pool.

"K-Kanade?!" he called, holding out his hands.

Kanade swam to the surface and took Makoto's hands. He guided her to the edge where she hung on for dear life. She took off her goggles and swim cap and glanced up. She frowned.

Fukui was standing with his arms folded across his chest and was giving her a stern look.

"You've been in here for hours today. You're done," Fukui told her.

"B-But—" Kanade tried to protest.

"No 'buts.' Now get out of there. You have a doctor's appointment," he said.

"What?!" Kanade whined. "Today?"

"Yes, today. Let's go!" Fukui turned his back and walked out of the pool.

Kanade stared at his back as he left and then she lightly slammed her fist down on the concrete.

"Now, now," Makoto said, patting her shoulder. "Take it easy. You _have_ been training all day."

"I know, but…" Kanade turned her head. "All these doctor's appointments… I… they're… annoying, right?"

Makoto cocked his head, his eyes widening a little.

"Annoying?" he echoed. "No, not really. I mean… you need them, right?" he asked. Kanade whipped her head up to look into his eyes. "It's okay, Kanade. I already told you, I'm not going anywhere."

Kanade's eyes widened, and a sting pricked her heart.

"Now, c'mon. Let's get you to that doctor's appointment," Makoto said, extending a hand down to her. She stared at his hand for a moment before putting on a fond smile.

"Yeah."

* * *

Nagisa quietly walked out to his designated lane, his shoulders slumping. He sluggishly put on his goggles and sighed lightly. The announcer gave the signal, and he stepped up onto the starting block and bent down.

Nagisa's hands gripped the starting block.

 _"Well, what about you?!"_

Nagisa winced, hearing his own voice hissing at Rei earlier.

 _"But you won't talk to me at all!"_

Nagisa winced again and hung his head.

 _That's not true,_ he thought. _I've been ignoring you, too, Rei-chan._

"Ready!" the announcer's voice came over the intercom. The other swimmers braced themselves, but Nagisa remained stock still, his head still hanging.

 _I'm just so scared of going to that school in Tokyo. I don't… I don't know if I can be in a school without you, Rei-chan!_

Suddenly, the buzzer sounded and the swimmers all leaped off of the starting blocks. Nagisa jumped out of his thoughts and dove in, getting a late start.

"What happened?!" the backstroke swimmer yelled from the stands. The rest of the team watched as Nagisa got further and further behind.

"He got a late start," Dai said.

Rei's hands formed into fists at his sides, his eyes narrowing into pained slits.

"Nagisa-kun…" he whispered.

"Well don't just stand there!" Goro suddenly yelled. "Cheer!"

The team blinked at him and then turned towards the pool, yelling at the top of their lungs.

Nagisa seemed to flail in the water as his hands frantically stretched in front of him. The other swimmers had already made their turns and were swimming back.

He finally made it to the far wall and he turned, desperately trying to catch up. He swam hard, his breaths becoming ragged and frantic.

He finally reached the wall and slammed his palm against it, his body exhausted. He arched his head back and inhaled sharply, his breath completely spent. He craned his neck to look at the board.

His eyes widened.

 **5th Place**

 **Hazuki Nagisa**


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

* * *

 **5th Place**

 **Hazuki Nagisa**

Panting and ragged, Nagisa's shoulders slumped and he hung his head, watching as drops of water fell into the water below him. His arms shook from exhaustion as he slowly pulled himself out of the pool and pulled his goggles off of his head.

"He… he lost?" the backstroke swimmer whispered.

Rei tensed, his hands curling into tight fists.

"I can't believe he lost. His time is worse than the prelims…" the other first-year said.

"This is unusual," Goro said, rubbing his chin.

Rei huffed and then turned sharply. He sprinted out of the stands.

"Ah, Rei-kun!" Gou called.

"Rei-senpai!" Dai shouted, taking a few steps.

Rei ran all the way to the locker room and waited for Nagisa. His eyes flitted to the other swimmers that passed by, waiting for his shorter companion to walk through the corridor.

 _Nagisa-kun... what happened?_ Rei asked himself.

Finally, Nagisa emerged from the hallway, a look of absolute hurt on his face. Rei gasped and rushed towards him.

"Nagisa-kun!" he called.

But Nagisa kept walking, avoiding Rei's eyes. Rei's eyes widened as Nagisa passed right by him without a word. He reached out his hand.

"N… Nagisa-kun…" Rei called again, his voice soft and sad. He lowered his hand back to his side and stared at the ground.

Soon, other swimmers for the butterfly event flooded the locker room and started getting ready. Rei was jolted out of his thoughts as some of them passed him. His face winced, remembering his event was up next. Rei sighed and took off his jacket, getting ready for his event.

 _Did… did he mess up because of our fight?_ Rei wondered.

 _Is this… my doing?_

* * *

Nagisa, now dressed in his tracksuit, slumped up to the stands. His hands were by his sides and his gaze was fixed to the ground. He winced when he remembered Rei's face as he passed him in the locker room.

 _Sorry, Rei-chan..._ Nagisa thought. _I shouldn't have–_

"Nagisa-kun!"

"Nagisa-senpai!"

Nagisa's head snapped up and he saw his teammates bounding over to him.

"Nagisa-kun, what happened?" Gou asked, her eyes full of worry. Nagisa's eyes widened for a moment before squinting, a strained smile on his face.

"Ah, I guess I was a bit distracted, hehe," Nagisa chuckled nervously. He rubbed the back of his head.

"Distracted?" Goro repeated, his voice a little gruff.

"That looked a little more than distracted," Dai commented.

"Oh my. Are you feeling ill, Hazuki-kun?" Amakata-sensei descended the staircase with her parasol in her hand and a worried look on her face.

Nagisa's smile fell as he stared at his teammates and his teachers. They were all giving him hard and accusing looks with some worry hidden in their eyes. Nagisa frowned.

"I…"

Suddenly, the crowd started to cheer, and the team turned their heads towards the pool.

"Ready!" the announcer's voice came over the intercom.

The butterfly swimmers were all in position, including Rei.

"Ah, Rei-senpai is about to start!"

Rei was standing on the starting block, his eyes cast down at the water below. He lowered his goggles over his eyes and bent down at the starting block.

 _Wind speed… um…_

 _Proper angle, I must dive at the proper…_

 _"How can I talk to you if you avoid me?!"_

Rei's brows pushed together and he stared hard at the water, his hands gripping the starting block.

 _I'm sorry, Nagisa-kun._

Suddenly, the buzzer sounded, and Rei dove off of the starting block without a second thought. He clambered his way to the surface and started his butterfly, frantically trying to maintain a lead over other swimmers. He swam furiously, his arms flailing over his head.

Then, Rei flinched, a gnawing pain shooting to his shoulder. He winced but tried to press forward.

"What's… wait, what's going on?!" the backstroke swimmer asked.

"He's falling behind!" the other first-year said.

Nagisa's heart ached and his eyes shot wide with concern. His hands gripped the railing as he watched his spectacle-wearing friend flounder in his lane.

"Rei-chan…" Nagisa whispered.

Rei made it to the wall and did his turn sloppily, and then hurried down his lane. Every stroke sent a pulsing pain to his shoulder, but he did not want to quit.

 _"Keep going, keep working hard…"_

 _Shizumi-san… what am I doing wrong?_

Rei could see the finish line ahead of him and he surged forward, making his stroke stronger. But a twinge of pain shot to his shoulder once again and he flinched.

 _What is this...?! What is…_

 _"Ryugazaki-kun, has your shoulder been bothering you?"_

Rei's heart jumped. His brows pushed together when he realized it.

But it was far too late.

His hand finally reached the wall and he hit it with a loud slap, making the water splash high up into the air. He reared back and grit his teeth, his hand immediately moving to grip his shoulder.

Nagisa's eyes widened.

 _It's his shoulder…_ he thought.

Nagisa winced and glanced down at his hands that gripped the bars. The rest of the team turned to look back at the boards.

 **6th Place**

 **Ryugazaki Rei**

Rei had his head turned towards the boards now, as well, and his head hung in disappointment. A panting mess, Rei pulled himself out of the water and peeled off his swim cap and goggles, trudging his tired body to the locker room.

Nagisa watched from the stands and winced again. He hung his head and turned away from the pool. Brushing past his teammates, he slumped down in a seat and hunched over, resting his arms on his knees.

The first-years and Gou watched him and then gave each other hesitant looks.

"This isn't good…" one first-year said.

"Our relay is in the afternoon! They're in _no_ condition to race this way!" the backstroke swimmer said.

"What are we going to do?"

Gou paused, a hand on her chin as she stared down at the boards. Her eyes flitted from Rei to Nagisa, and then to Dai. Her eyes widened.

"Dai-kun," Gou called. Dai turned his head to look at her, a look of curiosity on his face. "Those two are out of sorts. I'm leaving it up to you to bring them back to their senses."

The first-years gaped at her and Dai's jaw dropped. "M-Me?" Dai echoed. Gou nodded furiously, her hands in determined fists. "What… what can I do?"

Gou put her hands on his shoulders. "You need to show them the joy of swimming again!"

Dai's eyes widened.

 _"I want you to find joy in swimming again."_

Makoto's words echoed in his mind, remembering what he had told him that day.

Dai locked eyes with Gou and gave her a serious look. He nodded once and hummed. Gou nodded back and released his shoulders. Dai was about to go to the locker room when a small voice stopped him.

"Rei-chan will need ice."

Dai stopped in his tracks and glanced over, his eyes meeting sad, magenta eyes. Nagisa's head was barely raised, but it was enough for Dai to make eye contact. Dai nodded at Nagisa and then hurried downstairs.

"You think this will really work?" the backstroke swimmer asked Gou. Gou hesitated and then turned to look back at the first-years.

"It has to."

* * *

Rei rolled his shoulder. The immediate pain had dissipated but it was a little stiff. He sighed and leaned against the lockers, chiding himself for the mistake.

 _How could I have been so negligent? That was not my best! It wasn't beautiful at all!_

Rei grimaced and gripped his swim cap tightly in his fist.

 _Shizumi-san warned me about this… and now I've failed my team. I've failed Nagisa-kun. Now I'm sure he won't—_

"Rei-senpai."

Rei jumped and turned his head. He blinked a few times at the figure standing in front of him.

"Dai-kun?" Rei said. "What are you—"

"Here," Dai said. He handed Rei an ice pack, and Rei took it hesitantly. "Nagisa-senpai recommended it." Rei's heart skipped a beat and he felt his eyes well up with tears.

"Thank you," Rei said softly, wiping his eyes.

"Gou-senpai wants you upstairs now," Dai said as he took off his tracksuit jacket. Rei jolted and straightened.

"Right!" Rei said. He quickly got dressed and put on his glasses. He held the ice pack close to him as he promptly left the locker room and headed upstairs.

Rei emerged from the tunnel and glanced around, searching for his teammates. He found them all sitting a few rows up, their faces a little forlorn. He winced and his hand gripped the ice pack. He started to ascend the stairs towards them when Nagisa's head lifted. Their eyes met and Rei froze.

Nagisa's eyes widened at seeing him and he blinked a few times. He opened his mouth to speak but was quickly cut off.

"Rei-senpai!" the backstroke swimmer yelled, jumping to his feet. Gou and the other first-year noticed Rei as well and they both jumped to their feet and rushed down to meet him.

"Rei-kun, are you okay?" Gou asked. Rei faltered as the three of them practically tackled him.

"U-Uh y-yes, I'm f-fine," Rei stuttered. "I just… messed up my stroke. I-It wasn't beautiful at all…" he fumbled.

He walked up the steps with them following but froze when he got to their row. He stared at Nagisa, who was hunched over with his arms resting on his knees. Rei's brows creased, a little flutter of anxiety thudding in his chest. He took a deep breath through his nose and took a step forward, followed by another. He walked closer and then sat down in the seat next to Nagisa. Nagisa raised his head and glanced up at him, his eyes concerned. The first-years followed him into the row and blinked at him.

"Are you sure you're okay?" a first-year asked.

"Will you be ready for the relay?" the backstroke swimmer asked.

Rei jumped, remembering the relay that would soon take place that afternoon. He started rambling, talking about how his stroke will be ten times as more beautiful, and that the wind speed will be better and his dive will be perfect. The first-years gave each other a nervous glance.

"It will be fine," Gou suddenly said. She had her hands on her hips and a twinkle in her eye. The remainder of the team looked at each other, giving each other quizzical looks.

After Gou's fit, the team sat down and waited for the next event. Rei just sighed and stared down into his lap. He gazed over the ice pack in his hands and squeezed it, feeling the cold biting into his fingers.

 _I've been so_ foolish, Rei thought sadly. _I knew exactly what the problem was, and I still did not fix it._

Suddenly, a small, pale hand took the ice pack from his fingers and he jolted, turning his head to the seat next to him. Nagisa lifted the ice pack and put it on Rei's shoulder.

"N-Nagisa-kun…" Rei whispered.

"It kind of helps to actually use it, huh, Rei-chan?" Nagisa said with a small smile.

Rei blinked at him a few times before putting on a nervous smile. He lifted his hand and grabbed the ice pack from Nagisa and held it to his shoulder.

"R-Right," Rei said, looking back towards the pool.

Suddenly, the announcer came on over the intercom, saying a stern "Ready." The team quickly perked up and focused their eyes on the pool down below.

"Oh, it's Dai!" the backstroke swimmer said.

"Go, Dai!" the other first-year yelled.

Dai stepped up onto his starting block. He carefully lowered his goggles over his eyes and inhaled. He sighed as he bent down to grab the edge of the block.

 _"I'm leaving it up to you…"_

Dai took a deep breath, remembering Gou's words. It was up to him now to get his senpais focused again. Just like Makoto had done with him.

He listened carefully, stilling his breaths and slowing his heart.

Then, the buzzer sounded, and Dai dove into his lane with precision. He quickly made it to the surface and started his front crawl. His hands cut through the water like a hot knife.

"Whoa…" the backstroke swimmer whispered. "Amazing. Dai is a lot faster than before."

"When did he get so good?" the other first-year asked.

Rei and Nagisa watched with widened eyes and dropped jaws, both of them rising to their feet to watch their teammate fly down the lane at lightning speed. Dai made it to the turn and he tucked in his body and rolled quickly, pushing himself off of the wall to return to the start.

"Go, Dai!"

"Dai!"

Gou, along with the first-years, were cheering loudly for their newer freestyle swimmer, but Rei and Nagisa remained quiet, their eyes locked onto his slim body pushing through the water like it was the easiest thing in the world.

As Dai passed the middle marker, both Rei and Nagisa jumped at the sight.

For a moment, Dai looked like Haru.

Dai pressed forward, nearing the start, when Gou turned towards Nagisa and Rei, shooting them a glare.

"Don't just stand there! Cheer for them!" Gou yelled.

Nagisa and Rei jumped and then turned back to the pool. Even Goro flinched at her voice.

"Go, go, go, go, go, go, Dai!"

"Swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, Dai!"

Dai pushed harder, his limbs starting to wear down heavily in the water. He grit his teeth, thinking his body would fall apart. He glanced ahead and saw the end in sight.

 _No! I can't give in! I'm swimming for my brother! I'm swimming to bring joy back into people's lives! I'm swimming…_

Dai surged forward with renewed energy.

 _For the team!_

Dai's hand slapped the pool wall and he reared his head back to stare at the scoreboard, not bothering to take off his goggles. His eyes widened.

 **1st Place**

 **Tanaka Dai**

His teammates up in the stands were silent but only for a moment.

"He…"

"Won!"

The crowd erupted into cheers, and Nagisa and Rei stood there gawking.

"That…" Nagisa started. Rei turned his head to peer down at his friend. "That… was… incredible!" Nagisa yelled. "Rei-chan, did you see that?!"

Rei put his hand to his chest, a light blush forming under the corners of his eyes.

"I know! It was beautiful, a-and inspirational! It reminded me of—"

"Haru-chan!" Nagisa finished, a brilliant smile on his face. Rei's eyes widened and he nodded furiously.

"E-Exactly! It reminded me of Haruka-senpai's swimming!"

Gou watched the two of them from the side and she folded her arms across her chest triumphantly.

"All right," she mumbled under her breath. "They're ready!"

Dai soon came back up to the stands and was bombarded with hugs and noogies as his teammates congratulated him on a job well done. Dai returned their excitement with a smile.

After a light lunch, the team made its way back to the stands. Nagisa and Rei looked more upbeat and focused than earlier, much to Gou's relief. She quickly approached them and folded her arms across her chest.

"Now can you two tell me why you weren't focusing during your individual races?!" she scolded. Rei cowered back while Nagisa rubbed the back of his head.

"Just nerves, I guess, hehe," Nagisa chuckled.

Gou moved and put her hands on her hips, still giving them both a hard glare.

"And what about you, Rei-kun?" Gou asked. She pointed to the ice pack. "Your shoulder is bothering you again?"

The first-years gasped and whipped their heads to stare at Rei. Nagisa blinked up at him, also curious of his answer.

"A-Ah, w-well, I wasn't entirely focused and I seemed to have… done my stroke improperly," Rei said. Gou's face fell into a downright scowl as she hardened her face, glaring daggers at him with her eyes. Rei immediately lifted up his hands in defense. "B-B-But I remembered what Shizumi-san told me and I won't do my stroke wrong in the relay! I-I promise!"

Gou raised a brow at him and glared for a few more seconds before sighing, her face softening.

"Fine," she said in a huff. "As long as you promise to do your stroke properly, okay?"

Rei nodded furiously.

"And you," Gou said, turning her head to look at Nagisa. Nagisa jolted and stared back at her. "No. Late. Starts."

Nagisa giggled nervously and rubbed the back of his head. He lifted his other hand to wave her off.

"You worry too much, Gou-chan!" Nagisa said.

"It's _Kou_!"

"All right! I know we can definitely win this one now!" the backstroke swimmer said, raising his fist into the air.

Dai nodded at him, a newfound determined smile on his face. Nagisa and Rei returned the smile and nodded back.

"Okay, okay! Now off with you guys!" Gou said, shooing them down the stairs. "The event is coming up soon! Go get ready!"

The four of them wandered down to the locker room. They all took off their jackets and put on their swim caps. They slowly walked through the tunnel, but Rei accidentally bumped into Nagisa.

"Ah, sorry Nagisa-kun," Rei said. Nagisa peered up at him, his magenta eyes wide and blinking. After a moment of silence, Nagisa finally spoke up.

"I'm sorry, too, Rei-chan," Nagisa said. Rei whipped his head down to look at him.

"E-Eh?"

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," Nagisa said.

Rei blinked, but then his face softened. He stared ahead and held out his fist.

"Let's go to nationals," Rei said. Nagisa stared ahead as well and bumped his fist against Rei's.

"Mmn."

They emerged from the tunnel and walked to their lane. They put on their goggles and waited until a whistle was blown.

The backstroke swimmer jumped into the lane and grabbed onto the bars. He took a deep breath, and then curled his body up towards the block when he heard them announce "Ready."

Then, the buzzer sounded and he hurled himself backwards, immediately starting his dolphin kick and rising to the surface. He was the first one to start his stroke.

"Oh! Look, Gou-senpai! He's…" the first-year paused to make sure. "He's in third!"

Gou's eyes widened and sparkled. She inhaled and then cupped her hands around her mouth.

"GO!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.

The backstroke swimmer made it to the turn, slowing down slightly on the way back.

Nagisa was already waiting back at the starting line, his hands gripping the starting block. His eyes were focused and his ears listening intently. He could see other lanes starting to jump into the water and a little bubble of nervousness rose into his throat.

 _No,_ Nagisa thought, exhaling slowly. _We can do this._

 _"Let's go to nationals."_

 _We can win!_

"Nagisa-senpai!"

The first-year hit the wall and Nagisa dove in, executing their exchange perfectly. Gou squealed in delight, watching as Nagisa started his breaststroke. His hands extended far in front of him and he quickly caught up with other teams.

"He's catching up! He's catching up!" Gou said, grabbing the first-year's arm and jostling him about.

Nagisa made the turn and started to gain even more speed as his body cut through the water. Rei was waiting for him at the starting block, his eyes fixed on the wall below him.

 _"Let's go to nationals."_

Rei exhaled. _Right!_

Nagisa hit the wall and Rei dove in promptly.

"Rei-chan!"

Rei could hear Nagisa's voice behind him as he dove into the water. Immediately after breaking the surface, he started his butterfly.

 _5 Degrees wider…_ Rei thought. _There. Not too narrow._

Rei's eyes widened.

 _Ah… it doesn't hurt._

Rei's shoulder felt loose and free as he pushed through his butterfly. He gained speed and passed another team, making it to the far wall and doing his turn.

"He's passing him!" Gou yelled, shaking the first-year again.

"G-Geh, yeah, you're right, Gou-senpai!" he responded, half-choking under Gou's constant shaking.

Dai stepped onto the platform. He stared out at the pool, watching as it glistened under the summer sun. A soft breeze brushed on his cheeks and he felt his heart swell.

 _For the team!_

He huffed out a determined sigh and put his goggles on over his eyes. He knelt down at the starting block and exhaled slowly, listening and watching carefully. He could hear the splashes getting close. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see someone dive in. He focused on the wall below him, barely breathing.

Suddenly, hands came into view and they touched the wall.

"Dai-kun!"

Dai dove in over Rei and straightaway started his front crawl when he breached the surface. Rei pulled himself out of the pool and turned around, ripping the goggles and swim cap from his head.

"Go, Dai!" the backstroke swimmer yelled.

"Go, Dai-chan, go, go!" Nagisa yelled.

"Dai-kun!" Rei yelled, joining his teammates.

Dai swam harder, hearing his name being chanted from the starting line. His hands slipped through the water easily, propelling him forward with each stroke.

"He's in second!" Gou yelled.

"C'mon!" Goro yelled. "We need to cheer them on!"

Gou and the first-year nodded at him and then turned towards the pool. They started to cheer as loudly as they could.

Dai pushed forward, his hands slicing through the water.

 _Did I just pass someone? I can't tell…_

Dai kept pushing. The water felt perfect as it slid through his fingers.

 _The starting block… it's right there. Just… have to…_

Dai surged forward quickly and stretched his hand forward.

 _…reach it!_

Dai's hand touched the wall and he reared back, panting and gasping for breath. He turned his head back to look at the boards. His eyes widened.

"No way…" he whispered.

"G-Gou-senpai…" the first-year whispered to her as they looked at the boards.

"They…" Gou started.

 **1st Place**

 **Iwatobi**

"They did it!"

The crowd started to cheer, an uproar rising through the stadium. Gou jumped up and down in the stands and the first-year next to her started to tear up.

Dai lifted his goggles from his head to stare at the scoreboard more clearly. He rubbed his eyes and looked again.

"We… we won," Dai said.

"Dai!"

"Dai-chan!"

"Dai-kun!"

Dai turned back towards the starting block and saw his teammates all above him. They all had reddened cheeks and watery eyes, smiles painted on their faces. His fellow first-year extended a hand to him.

"You did it, Dai," the backstroke swimmer said, a blush rising on his cheeks. Dai looked at all of them, each one by one. He gave a small smile.

"No," Dai said. He grabbed his friend's hand. " _We_ did it."

* * *

"Okay, Kanade-chan, I've looked over everything," Dr. Koji said. "I just need to fill out some paperwork and then you'll be free to go."

"Great!" Kanade said, hopping off of the table. She glanced at Makoto and smiled. "Want to swim when we get home?" she asked him.

"Huh?! You want to swim _more_?" Makoto asked, his voice cracking a little.

"Relax! I know to take it easy," she said with a chuckle. Makoto sighed but smiled in defeat.

"Fine, fine," Makoto said. "As long as you promise to not overdo it."

"I promise!"

"Good man," Dr. Koji said to Makoto. "Keep her in line!"

Makoto rubbed the back of neck and laughed nervously, and Kanade giggled at him.

"Ah, Fukui-san," Dr. Koji said, turning his head to Fukui who sat in the corner. Fukui looked up from a magazine he was reading. "May I speak to you for a moment?"

Fukui hesitated, but then he put down the magazine and stood up from the chair. He heard Kanade and Makoto laughing as he left the room with Dr. Koji. Dr. Koji shut the door behind Fukui and turned to him, placing the clipboard back on the desk at the nurse's station.

"She's still wanting to try out for the Olympics?" Dr. Koji asked, his face now stern and serious. Fukui stiffened at his uncharacteristically somber attitude.

"Y-Yes," Fukui answered.

"I see," Dr. Koji said. He folded his arms across his chest and stared at the ground. There was a moment of thick silence, and Fukui heard alarm bells ringing in his head.

"What… what's wrong?" Fukui asked. Dr. Koji sighed.

"It doesn't look good," Dr. Koji said, rubbing his chin. Fukui's brows pushed together nervously.

"What do you mean? You just checked her out, right?" Fukui asked. "She hasn't had an attack since—"

"She hasn't had an attack, but her heart is weaker," Dr. Koji said. Fukui gulped.

"Weaker?" he echoed.

"Yeah," Dr. Koji said. "The pacemaker is doing its job, but if she continues to stress it by rigorous training, then it will be useless to her. Her heart could simply just... give out."

Fukui's stomach plummeted like a rock. He turned around to stare at the door where Makoto and Kanade waited, probably still laughing and goofing off. His hands curled into fists.

"She needs to slow down," Dr. Koji said, and Fukui hung his head. "Before it's too late."


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

* * *

"Hah?! No way! They got _first_?"

"I know, isn't that crazy?"

Makoto smiled, hearing Rin's voice on the other line on the phone. Rin tried to play it off, but Makoto could tell he was excited.

"That's incredible. So they're going to nationals, then, huh?" Rin asked.

Makoto walked into the kitchen and saw Kanade preparing dinner. She was chopping up an onion and still had other veggies to slice. Makoto paused and watched her for a moment. He pursed his lips and walked next to her, balancing the phone in between in shoulder and his ear. He grabbed a long knife and the onion and started chopping it. Kanade blinked up at him, obviously surprised, but Makoto gave her a warm smile.

"Yep! I guess they get to come to Tokyo in a few weeks," Makoto said to Rin.

"Well, shit," Rin said, sighing. "And I was hoping Ai would whip Samezuka's asses into shape."

"Ah, well, you know how your sister is…" Makoto said, continuing to chop the onion. "She likes to keep things—OUCH!"

Kanade jumped and whipped her head to look at Makoto, who had dropped the knife on the counter and was holding his finger. He was pouting and staring down at his finger, and Kanade could see some blood dripping down. She put down her knife and grabbed his wrist, pulling the finger closer so she could get a better look.

"O-Oi, Makoto?! You okay?!" came Rin's voice on the phone.

Makoto watched as Kanade grabbed a clean rag and pressed it to his finger, glancing up at him and giving him a warm smile. Makoto blinked for a second, calming his nerves, and then returned the smile.

"Y-Yeah, just cut myself while trying to chop an onion."

"Sheesh," Rin answered. "Do you need to go get a bandaid or something?"

"Ah, m-maybe," Makoto said, looking down at the rag. He glanced up at Kanade and cocked his head. "Actually, Kanade is here. Why don't you talk to her until I get back?"

This time, Kanade cocked her head, peering up at him. She did not even know who was on the other line.

"Ah, fine, fine, don't bleed to death," Rin teased.

"E-Eh?!" Makoto said, slight panic rising in his voice.

"I'm just messing with you! Hand off the phone and get a bandaid!"

Makoto's complexion turned a slight shade of green as he handed Kanade the phone. She stared at him with a worried look, watching him until he disappeared into the bathroom.

" _Oi!_ " Rin's voice on the phone startled Kanade and she jumped, fumbling with the phone in her hands and almost dropping it.

"H-Hello?" she answered, putting the phone up to her ear.

"Ah, 'sup, Shizumi?"

Kanade blinked a few times, trying to register the familiar voice. Her eyes widened slightly when the realization struck her.

"Matsuoka-kun?" she asked.

"The one and only," Rin answered, and Kanade giggled.

"Ah, it's been a while!" Kanade said, leaning against the counter. "How are things going there in Australia?"

"Great! My times are getting better, and my coach told me I could try out for the national team in January," Rin answered.

"That's awesome!" Kanade replied.

"I know, right?" Rin said, laughing. "So how're things are your end? You haven't ended up in the hospital recently, have you?"

Kanade stiffened.

"Not… not exactly?" Kanade responded.

" _Shizumi_ ," Rin growled.

"I... I-It wasn't anything extreme, I didn't have an attack or anything! Just… fainted?"

" _Fainted?_ What were you doing? It wasn't caused by swimming, was it?" Rin asked, spitting out question after question.

"No, no," Kanade said. "I was… sprinting, and my body couldn't take it. So I passed out because of exhaustion."

Rin did not respond and Kanade grew anxious at the lingering silence.

"A-Ah, but it wasn't a huge deal!" Kanade said, waving her free hand. "It was only for like… an hour, maybe? So, it should be fine! I still get to tryout for the national team in January."

There was another pause and then Rin sighed heavily.

"Fine, fine," he said in defeat. "Just… don't push yourself."

Kanade chuckled lightly. "Well, I kind of _have_ to if I want to—"

" _You know what I mean_ ," Rin interrupted, and Kanade giggled again.

"Yes, yes, I'll be fine _Matsuoka-kun_ ," Kanade said.

"…Rin."

Kanade hesitated.

"…what?" Kanade asked.

"…Just call me Rin," he said hesitantly. " _Matsuoka_ has too many syllables."

Kanade blinked a few times and then burst into laughter.

"Oi, shut it!" Rin barked, his tone a little subdued. "Sheesh, I'm just trying to be—"

"Then you call me Kanade," Kanade interrupted. It was Rin's turn to hesitate before let out a soft chuckle.

"That works!"

Makoto soon came back with a bandaid on his finger and looking a little less green. He had a small smile on his face and he lifted up his newly bandaged finger for Kanade to see. Kanade smiled at him.

"Makoto is back," Kanade said to Rin.

"Ah, did he bleed to death?" Rin asked, and Kanade laughed. Makoto cocked his head.

"No, no, he's still alive and well," Kanade said. Makoto's face paled. "Well, I'll let you go, Rin!"

"Ah, okay!" Rin said in English. "Later, Kanade!"

"Bye!"

Kanade handed the phone over to Makoto, who was blinking curiously at her. Kanade just shrugged at him and went back to chopping onions.

" _Hello? Earth to Makoto?"_

Makoto fumbled with the phone and then put it back to his ear.

"Ah, sorry, Rin!" Makoto said.

"No worries. You okay?" Rin asked.

"Mmn," Makoto hummed.

"Good. So is Haru trying out for the national team?"

Makoto perked up and chuckled lightly. "Yep! He got the official go-ahead from his coach this past week. His times have really improved. His coach is pretty impressed."

Rin snickered. "Good. I want to be able to race him on an international stage."

"I'm sure you'll make it happen," Makoto said.

"Yeah! We will," Rin answered. "All right, I've got to go. Later, Makoto!"

"Ah, bye, Rin!" Makoto said.

He hung up the phone and turned towards the counter. He was about to start working on the onion again when he heard Kanade gasp.

"Oh, shoot!" Kanade said. Makoto turned towards her.

"Hm? What's up?" Makoto asked.

"I forgot to pick up salt," Kanade groaned. She headed towards the front door and sat down to put on her shoes. "I'll be right back," she said to him, putting her hand on the door. "Oh, and Makoto!"

"Hm?" Makoto hummed, turning his head back to look at her. She gave him a deadpan look.

"No chopping."

* * *

Rin hung up the phone and set it on the coffee table in front of him. He hunched forward with his hand to his chin.

 _"It wasn't a big deal!"_

Rin sighed. _You're just as bad as Makoto when it comes to lying!_

"I didn't know you had a girlfriend," came a deep voice from the bedrooms.

Rin lifted his head, caught off guard by the Japanese.

"Ah, Sousuke," Rin acknowledged.

Sousuke closed the door behind him, his right arm held close to his body in a loose sling. Rin sighed lightly at seeing the sling but he leaned back and flopped onto the couch, his hands cradling his head.

"She's not my girlfriend," Rin said. Sousuke's brow rose.

"But you called her by her first name, right?" he asked. Rin scowled at him.

"Just how much of the conversation did you hear?!" Rin yelled. Sousuke laughed and moved to sit down on the couch, pushing Rin's legs out of the way in the process.

"So, if she's not your girlfriend, then who is she?" Sousuke asked. Rin huffed.

"She goes to the same university as Makoto," he answered.

"Makoto? Tachibana?" Sousuke asked.

"Yeah," Rin said. He hesitated, pursing his lips. "If anything, she's Makoto's girlfriend."

Sousuke smiled and slouched on the couch, using his left hand to cradle his head.

"Ah, to think Makoto would be the first one," Rin said.

"What, are they actually dating?" Sousuke asked.

"Not yet, but it should be soon as long as they get their asses into gear," Rin said. He huffed out another sigh. "Anyway, she's on the swim team there." Rin's voice was small.

Sousuke turned his head to look at Rin. "Is she trying out for the national team?"

Rin's face fell into a frustrated scowl. "Yeah."

Sousuke straightened up from slouching and peered over at Rin. "Oi, what's with that face?" he asked Rin. "Isn't her trying out for the team a good thing?"

Rin sighed and covered his eyes with him arms, taking a long pause. "She's… she's sick."

"She's… she's sick," Rin finally answered.

Sousuke blinked a few times at him with his lips slightly parted.

"Sick?" he echoed. Rin grimaced and grit his teeth.

"Yeah," Rin answered with a shaky voice. "It's… her heart."

Sousuke's eyes widened a little but he stayed silent once he heard Rin's voice beginning to choke. Instead of moving to Rin, Sousuke hunched over and peered down at the floor. He heard Rin sniffle and then sigh.

"At their training camp, I not only challenged Haru, but I challenged her to several races, too. Over and over again, I challenged her. And I knew something was… off. But… I kept doing it anyway, and…" Rin huffed out a frustrated sigh in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. He hands curled into fists and his arms flexed, still hiding his eyes.

"You didn't know," Sousuke said softly.

Rin sniffed again. "I know," he answered, his voice breaking. "She… her condition… it's dangerous for her to keep swimming. Makoto, he… he told me that the doctors want her to stop. But she's stubborn."

Sousuke smiled at that.

"Sounds like you," Sousuke teased.

"Shut up!" Rin snapped, pushing his foot on Sousuke's thigh.

Sousuke gave a light chuckle and apologized. Rin, who arms were still covering his face, sniffed again. His fists tightened even more and his lips quivered. A few slick tears fell down his cheeks, and Sousuke's smile vanished.

"Rin," Sousuke mumbled. He let out a guilty sigh and winced. "Don't cry, idiot. It's not your fault."

Rin let out a small, strangled noise. "I'm just tired of my friends suffering," he said. "I'm tired of my friends' dreams being taken from them."

Sousuke's eyes widened as he stared at his friend, a jolt of pain piercing his chest. He glanced down at his arm in the loose sling. He could still feel a dull throb in his shoulder. He sighed and stood up from the couch, moving to hover over Rin's crumpled form.

"C'mon," Sousuke said, leaning a hand down to touch Rin's arm. His voice was gruff but still caring. Rin moved his arms to reveal his red, watery eyes. "You have to take me to therapy."

"Hah?!" Rin roared, sitting up and sending fresh tears flying. Sousuke headed towards the front door, a knowing smirk on his face.

"Let's go," Sousuke said, pushing the door open.

"Hey! Hang on, Sousuke! Your therapy session isn't for another two hours! OI!"

* * *

"Oh, does Tachibana have another class tonight?" Torii asked Haru as they walked off of campus.

"Yeah."

"Okay. Have fun! Later, Haru!" Torii said.

Haru waved him off and then headed to the station. After a quick train ride, he stepped off the station and headed down a few blocks towards the rec center that he had recently become fairly acquainted with. He was only a few blocks away from Makoto's university, passing by some stores along the way.

Suddenly, he heard his name.

"Nanase-kun?"

Haru stopped walking and turned around at the sound of his voice. His eyes widened when he saw Kanade exiting a store nearby, a grocery bag in her hand. She stood still, her jaw dropped as if she were in shock. Haru's brows creased slightly and he lowered his head a little.

"H-Hey," Haru greeted. Kanade jolted as if she was pulled back into reality.

"Ah, h-hey! Going to see Makoto?" she asked with a smile small. Haru nodded mutely. "Great! W-Well, I just picked up some things for dinner. You… you want to join us?" She was fiddling with the bag in her hands, twisting the plastic in between her fingers.

Haru stared down at her hands, watching as they fidgeted even more at his delayed response. He raised his head to look at her face but quickly turned away.

"Sure," he said. He could see Kanade jump in surprise.

"Oh! Great!" Kanade said, a genuine smile appearing on her face. "I'm going to try to make mackerel green curry."

Haru turned his head back to meet her gaze when she mentioned the word "mackerel." His eyes were wider than before. Kanade chuckled lightly and walked past him, heading towards the rec center. Haru started to walk as well, trailing a few steps behind her. She turned her head back to glance at him.

"I… I've always wanted to try this recipe…" she started, her voice nervous. Haru made brief eye contact before flitting his gaze to the ground. Kanade turned her head back forward, feeling her back stiffen.

 _What's with this timing?_ Kanade thought, internally groaning.

"Sh… Shizumi," Haru suddenly called.

Kanade turned her head back and saw that Haru had stopped walking. She came to a stop, too, and turned around to fully face him. His face was deadpan but solemn.

"Back in Iwatobi," he started. His eyes moved to the ground, avoiding her nervous blue eyes. "I—"

"What's going on here?"

Kanade froze.

Haru snapped his mouth shut.

Kanade held her breath, an eerie feeling creeping up her back. She felt goosebumps form on her arms and the hair on the back of her neck stood on their ends. She turned around slowly towards the sound of the voice and her eyes widened.

Black hair, brown eyes, a disgruntled look…

 _Takuya?!_

Kanade took a step back, and Haru's brows furrowed in confusion. He could see Kanade cowering with her legs shaking.

"Well?" Takuya asked with his hands shoved in his pockets. "Who's this?" he asked, nodding to Haru. Haru blinked at him, feeling something strange bubbling in his chest.

"Just… a friend," Kanade said, her voice small. Haru noticed that the excitement in her voice had disappeared.

 _Ugh, seriously… talk about bad timing,_ Kanade thought. _This has not been my day._

"Oh? Is that the truth?" Takuya sneered, and Kanade took another step back.

"Y-Yes," Kanade said, her brows now lowering in frustration. "P-Please, Takuya, just… leave us alone."

Takuya's brows rose condescendingly. "Leave you alone?" he repeated. "I'm not leaving until you answer me."

Kanade's hands curled into fists and she lowered her head.

"I already told you," she said. "I'm not giving you a second chance."

She moved to walk past Takuya, but he suddenly grabbed her arm. Fear immediately took over Kanade's body as dropped the grocery bag and froze, staring up into Takuya's threatening face.

"I'm not finished here!" Takuya barked.

Kanade, stricken with fear, could only stare up at him, shocked. She felt a slight hum in her chest as her pulse rose to dangerous levels.

"You're just going to throw away three years?!" he yelled.

"W-What?" Kanade choked out, her breathing becoming more erratic. She felt pain in her chest. "I… I—"

" _Oi_."

Both Kanade and Takuya jolted and turned towards the sound of the voice. Kanade's eyes widened when she realized it was Haru. Haru had his phone in his hand, his thumb on the dial button. He stood his ground with the same annoyed expression on his face.

"I'm going to call the police if you don't leave," he said plainly.

Kanade's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. Takuya grit his teeth, feeling cornered. He flung Kanade's wrist away from him and shoved his hand in his pocket. Kanade took a few steps back away from him, putting her hand to her chest.

"This isn't over," Takuya sneered, shoving Haru's shoulder as he passed him. Haru grunted, almost dropping his phone. He turned and watched Takuya's back as he disappeared down the block.

Haru sighed and quickly pocketed his phone, feeling his nerves calm down.

"U-Um."

Haru turned around to see Kanade clutching her wrist. She was heaving, her breaths raspy. Her body shook a little, but she forced a twitching smile onto her face.

"Th-Thank y-you," Kanade said shakily. She took a deep breath and turned around, picking up her grocery bag. She glanced over her shoulder and gave Haru a weird smile. "Ready to… to go?" she panted.

Haru blinked a few times, giving her a once-over. She was still shivering, and her wrist was red. Haru furrowed his brows but then nodded, following her back to the rec center. His eyes kept flitting up from the ground to Kanade's back, watching as her shoulders rose and fell with each quivering breath.

By the time they reached the rec center, Kanade's breathing had slowed some, but her voice was still raspy. She led Haru up the stairs to her apartment and opened the door. She was greeted with Makoto's friendly face, but it quickly fell when he saw her current state.

"Kanade, are you okay?!" Makoto asked, rushing to her side. He put a tentative hand on her shoulder but she waved him off with a shaky smile.

"Y-Yeah, I'm… fine," she wheezed.

"What happened?" Makoto asked. Kanade hesitated, her eyes glancing back to meet Haru's gaze. Haru just blinked at her, his face as deadpan as ever.

"Just… the walk was… tiring," Kanade excused, turning back to look at Makoto. "I'm… fine. Really. Just need… oxygen."

Kanade handed Makoto the grocery bag and walked by him and into her room. After the door closed, Makoto turned to meet Haru's eyes. He gave a strained smile and Haru winced. It painfully obvious it was forced.

"Hey, Haru," Makoto greeted.

"H-Hey," Haru greeted back.

Haru watched as Makoto went to the kitchen to set down the grocery bag on the counter. Haru pursed his lips.

"Has…" Haru started, and Makoto turned around to meet Haru's eyes. Haru swallowed. "Has Shizumi ever gotten tired like that just from walking?"

Makoto blinked at him for a moment. "No," Makoto answered, his brows pulling together. "Did… did something happen, Haru?"

Haru hesitated, remembering the look Kanade gave him before she disappeared into her bedroom. It was almost a look of warning, telling him to keep the topic from Makoto.

But standing here now, staring into Makoto's anxious eyes, Haru felt his chest swell with the knowledge of what occurred just a few moments ago.

Haru pursed his lips and took a quiet breath.

"Do…" Haru started. Makoto cocked his head to encourage Haru to continue, and Haru looked away for a second to formulate a sentence. "Do you know someone by the name of Takuya?"

Makoto inhaled sharply.

"That's… that's the name of Kanade's ex-boyfriend," Makoto said, his voice a little small.

Haru's brows knitted together as a frustrated frown pulled at his lips. Makoto blinked at him and then also pulled his lips into a worried frown.

"Haru… what happened?" Makoto asked.

Haru pursed his lips again, internally apologizing to Kanade.

"We ran into him on the way here," Haru said, and Makoto's eyes widened. "Shizumi acted strange after that."

Makoto's brows pushed together. "That's… never happened before," Makoto said. "She usually gets tired after running or swimming, but…" he paused, looking down at the bag on the counter. "But… now, it seems… emotions can trigger her heart problems, too."

Haru blinked at him, sensing insecurity in his voice and body language.

"She didn't want anything to do with him," Haru said plainly. "You're still the one she likes." Makoto jumped and snapped his head up to meet Haru's gaze. His face flushed and he waved his hands defensively.

"A-Ah, H-Haru, that's n-not what I was—"

"Phew! I feel _much_ better!" Kanade's voice rang as she exited her bedroom. Her voice was even now, no hint of straining whatsoever. "Hm? Makoto, what are you doing?" she asked, catching Makoto with his hands up in front of him.

Makoto's blush spread to his neck and ears as he whipped his hands behind his back to hide them.

"N-Nothing!" he stammered. Kanade giggled at him, putting her hand to her mouth.

"Your ears are red," Kanade pointed out.

"Huh?!" Makoto panicked, covering his ears with his hands. Kanade giggled again, covering her mouth to stifle her laughs.

 _Soo cute!_ Kanade thought. She turned away from him and resumed preparations for dinner.

Makoto pouted a little, his face still red. He glanced up and met Haru's gaze. Haru gave him a knowing smirk and Makoto jumped, shaking his hands again in front of him.

"Makoto, you're doing it again," Kanade said, catching him with his hands in front of him again.

"I-I-I wasn't doing anything!"

* * *

Haru sat down in the stands inside the pool at the rec center. He sighed, feeling satisfied after an amazing meal. He was impressed at how well Kanade could cook, especially with mackerel. He rested his arms in his lap and watched Makoto in the pool.

The kids were all asking about his finger, concerned for him as he told them about his "dangerous encounter with the kitchen knife." Haru smiled a little, seeing how well he was bonding with the kids. And Makoto's face looked so happy. He knew Makoto could handle himself here.

Although… Haru was worried at first when Makoto would call him at the beginning of the year without mentioning any new friends. Haru knew he had been having a hard time but was unsure of how to help his childhood friend. With his busy schedule clashing with the mountains of schoolwork Makoto had, he felt helpless.

 _But then,_ Haru thought, his mind drifting to Kanade.

 _"Oh, Haru, I met someone knew today! And guess what? She's on the swim team here!"_

 _"Oh, yeah, me and Shizumi-chan are in the same class together. We do our homework together sometimes."_

 _"Kanade is so nice, Haru. I think you'd like her."_

 _But then... You showed up._

"Oh, Nanase-kun."

Haru jolted out of his thoughts and turned his head to see Kanade frozen on a step on the stands. She blinked at him for a second and rubbed the back of her neck, her lips pulling into a nervous grimace. She took a deep breath and walked up to him, sitting next to him in the stands.

"He's… he's really enjoying himself, isn't he?" Kanade said, smiling and watching Makoto in the pool.

"Yeah," Haru said plainly.

Kanade fidgeted a little, cracking her knuckles. She frowned nervously and hesitantly turned to look at Haru.

"Ah, Nanase-kun," she said, and Haru's head turned to meet her eyes.

Kanade blinked at him, his blue eyes practically hypnotizing her in a daze. She gulped down her anxieties and turned her head to stare into her lap, unable to meet Haru's eyes anymore.

"About today," she started, her hands curling into fists on her knees. "Th-Thank you for helping me out. I really owe you."

Haru shyly glanced away from her, his fingers fiddling with his jeans.

"It was nothing really," Haru said bluntly. Kanade pursed her lips and hesitated.

"You… you told Makoto, didn't you?" Kanade asked shyly. Haru glanced over at her, blinked tentatively at her.

"Mmn," he hummed in response. Kanade chuckled nervously and played with her fingers in her lap.

"Ahaha… I thought so," Kanade said, her voice wavering. "He didn't say much to me during dinner. And he kept giving me weird looks."

Haru pursed his lips and knitted his brows together. He turned his head down to look into his lap and formulated an apology.

Kanade glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and caught his pained expression, making her heart clench a little. She focused her eyes on Makoto and thought for a moment. Her face flushed as thoughts came to mind and she hunched over, resting her arms on her knees.

"I know he likes me," Kanade said softly.

Haru's head popped up and stared at her, his blue eyes wide and his lips parted. She turned her head to look at him and her face flushed even more. She quickly turned her gaze back out to look at Makoto, her eyes staring fondly at the brown-haired gentle giant in the pool.

"And… I like him, too," Kanade added. "More than anything, I want to be by his side. He's so sweet and caring. He's passionate and hard-working."

Kanade pulled one leg up and held it to her chest, resting her chin on her knee.

"I know he won't ever hurt me or leave me. He's already promised that," Kanade said with a light chuckle. "But… my condition…" Kanade stopped, her eyes narrowing and beginning to glisten. "It's high-maintenance and… I'm just scared my health will… make him miserable."

Haru's brows rose at her words, surprised she had put so much thought into their relationship and into Makoto's well-being. He gulped down the lump in his throat.

"Makoto isn't like that," Haru said plainly, his face remaining deadpan. Kanade turned her head slightly to look at him, and she gave him a small smile.

"I know he isn't," Kanade said. Her eyes darkened as she turned her head down to look at her shoe. "But… neither was my ex."

Haru blinked and raised a brow, remembering how violent the man had been earlier today. He glanced at her wrist and still saw the red mark from his vice-like grip.

Did her health really make that man the monster he is today?

"Makoto deserves so much better," Kanade said. Suddenly, her face fell and she winced as if she was burned. "My condition… it's possible that my heart could just… give out one day. And I won't recover. 'Sudden Cardiac Death' is what it's called. I could just go without any warning."

Haru's eyes widened.

"Have you told Makoto about this?" Haru asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

Kanade put on a sad smile, and Haru felt his chest throb in a cold pain.

Makoto wears that exact same smile when he's feeling pain.

"No, but… Makoto researches things," Kanade said. "Once he found out about my condition, I would see him reading articles about it on his computer. He probably knows."

Haru hesitated, his hands lightly gripping his pants.

"I don't… I don't think Makoto would push you away because of that," Haru said softly. Kanade raised her hand and looked at him with a surprised look on her face. "He…" Haru stopped.

 _"You love her?"_

Haru shook the thoughts away from his mind. He would leave that confession for Makoto to tell.

"I don't think you should give up because you think he'd be miserable," Haru said. "He wouldn't be. At all."

"It's… it's not just that," Kanade said, looking back down at her shoe. "I don't want his friendship with you to… to fade because of me."

Haru froze, his eyes wide.

 _She truly values Makoto's friends…_

Haru pursed his lips, his brows lowering a little.

"It won't," Haru said after a heavy silence.

Kanade snapped her head up to look at him, now her turn to have widened eyes. Her jaw dropped and then closed again, trying to start a sentence.

"Our friendship is strong enough to handle something like this," Haru said. "Don't be scared to… take the next step with him." He looked away from her, a light blush on his cheeks.

Kanade blinked at him for a moment. Was he…? Did he…?

Kanade smiled and chuckled a little, her fears melting.

"It kind of sounds like you're giving me your blessing or something," Kanade teased. Haru pursed his lips and looked away. Kanade giggled lightly at him again and turned her eyes back to the pool.

They sat in comfortable silence, hearing the sounds of splashing and high-pitched laughter. Haru turned his head to Kanade and saw her smiling fondly at Makoto. Her eyes were locked onto him, watching his every move with a goofy smile on her face. Haru snorted and turned his head, covering his mouth. It was so painfully obvious, especially with that smile on her face.

 _"He doesn't need someone like you."_

Haru jumped, remembering how heartbroken Kanade had looked during the summer break. He straightened and turned his head to look at her.

"Shizumi," Haru called, startling Kanade out of her thoughts. She turned her head to look at him, a fearful smile on her face.

"Y-Yeah?" she shuttered.

Haru fidgeted a little, his eyes downcast.

"Back in Iwatobi…" Haru started. He could see Kanade jump, knowing where the conversation was headed. Haru gulped and continued. "I… I said really terrible things to you."

Haru lifted his head to meet Kanade's concerned face.

"I'm sorry," he finished.

Kanade blinked at him, her face still serious.

"Nanase-kun…" Kanade whispered. She hesitated for a moment but then smiled brightly. Haru's eyes widened at her kind smile. "Don't sweat it. Really," she said after a moment. She cleared her throat and her smile faltered a little. "We didn't exactly get off on the right foot."

Haru pursed his lips, understanding her meaning. He hummed in acknowledgment, hanging his head a little to stare into his lap.

Kanade suddenly stood to her feet and faced him, making Haru lift his head to meet her eyes.

"Wanna start over?" she asked, extending a hand down to him.

Haru paused, staring at her outstretched hand. He sighed but then put on a small smile. He nodded and grabbed her hand, allowing her to shake his. She smiled brightly and giggled, her pure laugh echoing in the room.

The laugh made Makoto turn his head towards the stands and his eyes widened and his jaw dropped when he saw Kanade and Haru shaking hands, both with smiles on their faces.

"All right!" Kanade said. "We need to race!"

Haru jumped to his feet as Kanade rushed down the steps. "B-But what about—"

"Oh, c'mon!" Kanade whined. "Makoto and my old man dote on me enough. Let's go!" Kanade rushed out of the pool and through the double doors.

Haru blinked at the doors in surprise, watching them shut behind her in a flash.

"Haru!"

Haru turned his head and saw Makoto approaching him, a curious look on his face. The class was over and Makoto was toweling off his hair.

"Ah, the class is over now if you wanted to swim," Makoto said. His eye twitched a little as if he had more to say.

"Oh, yeah, Shizumi wants to race," Haru said plainly.

"Eh?! Race?" Makoto asked, letting the towel rest on his shoulders.

Haru simply shrugged and started to unzip his pants. Makoto grabbed his wrists.

"Haru! You can't just strip here!" Makoto pleaded.

"What? Your class is gone," Haru said, pushing Makoto's hands away. He managed to pull off his pants without any further disruption and he whisked his shirt off.

"Haru! Wait! Can't you tell me what you and Kanade talked about?" Makoto asked, following Haru towards the pool.

"I'll tell you after our race," Haru said.

"Haru!" Makoto whined and reached out his hand to grab Haru.

Haru escaped Makoto's grasp and jumped into a lane in the pool and started his laps. Makoto sighed and slumped his shoulders.

"Not again," Makoto whined under his breath. "Haruu!"


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

* * *

"I'm home," Dai announced as he shut the front door behind him.

"Ah, welcome home," came his mother's voice from the kitchen.

After Dai removed his shoes, he headed into the kitchen and set down his bag on the table. His dad sat at the table reading the newspaper. He lowered it just enough to give Dai a small nod and a friendly smile. Dai nodded back in return and then glanced around the room, seeking a face that was missing from the table.

"So how'd it go?" his mother asked, jolting Dai out of his thoughts. She was putting food on the kitchen table for dinner.

"Ah… the relay team got first," Dai said.

His mother spun around from the food in the kitchen and his father put down the newspaper.

"So your team is going to nationals?" his dad asked.

"Oh, uh… yeah, we are," Dai said, his voice a little sad.

"That's wonderful!" his mom said.

"What about your freestyle?" his dad asked, a small smile on his face.

Dai rubbed the back of his neck. "I, uh… I got first."

His parents froze, their eyes wide.

"You… you got first?!" his dad said, standing to his feet. Dai blinked at him, dropping his hand back to his side.

"Uh… yeah," Dai answered.

His mom gasped and put her hands over her mouth. Tears came to her eyes as she walked out of the kitchen and headed towards him. She wrapped him in a tight hug.

"We're so proud of you, sweetie," she said to him.

"Ah, mom…" Dai said softly.

His dad also walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder, shooting him a proud smile.

"We really are proud," he said. Dai's eyes widened at him, his core shaken at his father's compliment.

"We… we thought that you would quit after…" his mom stuttered, gripping him tighter.

Dai inhaled sharply and winced. He closed his eyes and returned the hug, letting out a shuddering sigh.

"We're glad you've stuck with it. And now you're going to nationals! As a first-year!" his dad said, putting his hand on Dai's head. "We're so proud of you!" he added.

Dai felt his chest swell and he smiled a little, feeling tears prick his eyes. He opened his mouth to thank them.

"Thank—"

"You're going to nationals?"

Dai felt his heart jolt and he pulled himself out of his mother's arms. He turned towards the entryway of the kitchen and he felt his breath hitch in his chest.

There stood his brother, Ryu, a second-year in junior high school. His brows were raised and his eyes were wide.

Dai thought his chest would burst.

This was the first time that his brother had spoken to him in over a year.

Dai blinked for a moment, swallowing thickly. He straightened, his hands in loose fists by his sides.

"Yeah," Dai answered him.

Ryu pursed his lips and lowered his head to the ground, his face turning back to its normal state of indifference. He walked past Dai and sat down at the kitchen table where a bowl of food had been placed. He picked up his chopsticks and dug into some rice, silently taking a bite.

Dai winced and turned his head away.

 _Just keep going,_ Dai thought. _Swim for him. Do as Tachibana-san said. Swim for him. Swim for him._ _ **Swim for him.**_

Dai turned, about to head upstairs to his bedroom, when he heard his brother's voice speak once again.

"Ah, well…" Ryu suddenly said, and Dai stopped, turning his head slightly back to look at him. Ryu took another bite of his rice and stared down into his bowl, refusing to look at his older brother. But, he opened his mouth to speak. "Good luck."

Dai jumped, his eyes widening in surprise. He blinked at him, wondering if he heard his brother right.

Did… did he just wish him luck?

"Yes!" his mother suddenly said. "He needs all the luck he can get! Now, now, you must be starving after those races today." She walked to Dai and grabbed his arm, pulling him to the dinner table. "Eat a proper meal!"

"Ah, we do need to celebrate your victory today," his dad said, taking his seat at the table.

Dai shifted in his chair, watching as his family started to dig into their meals and spoke courteously with one another. Even Ryu spoke about his day, saying he still had schoolwork to do.

Dai did not touch his food, stunned silent and frozen about what he was witnessing. He was completely blind-sided and unprepared. He felt his heart clench uncomfortably in his chest and he reached up to grip his shirt.

His family had not eaten together at the table in a year.

"Ah, so Dai, when are—" His mother stopped talking when she noticed Dai staring vacantly down at his bowl with a hand to his chest. "Dai, are you all right?" she asked.

Dai jumped and looked up from his bowl, his head still dizzy with the turn of events. His parents were staring back at him with concerned looks. He dropped his hand back to his lap and straightened.

"Ah, mmn," he hummed. He heard a scoff to his left and he turned his head to see Ryu still munching on his food.

"Weirdo," Ryu mumbled after he swallowed. Dai blinked at him again.

"W… Weirdo?" Dai repeated.

"Ryu, be nice to your brother!" his mother scolded.

"I'm just stating the truth," Ryu answered.

"Ryu!" his father chuckled.

Dai glanced over at Ryu. Their eyes met for a second before Ryu turned his head away and shoved more food into his mouth. There was a light blush on his cheeks. Dai paused for a moment, shocked by his little brother's sudden involvement.

But then, Dai smiled.

Dai picked up his chopsticks and started to dig into his own food, his chest humming with new excitement.

* * *

Kanade sat at her desk in her room and chewed on the eraser of her pencil. The workload was starting to get heavier since the semester would soon be over. The latest assignment had Kanade almost ripping her hair out.

 _Maybe Makoto will help me out later… Has he even done the work for this class yet?_

"Ugh!" Kanade groaned, leaning back and covering her eyes with her hands. "I don't want to deal with this stuff, I just wanna swim!"

 _Especially since there's a swim meet next week!_

Suddenly, her phone started to ring on her desk, and she bolted upright and uncovered her eyes. She grabbed the phone quickly, eager to have an excuse not to do any work.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Kana-chan!" came the chirpy reply on the other end.

Kanade's face immediately lit up.

"Oh, Hazuki-kun!" Kanade exclaimed. "I heard you guys made it to nationals! Congrats!"

"Ohh! Thank you, Kana-chan!" Nagisa said. "And please, just call me by my first name."

"Oh? You sure?" Kanade asked.

"Yes, yes! I already call you by your first name!"

"You didn't give me a choice…"

"Then it's settled!"

Kanade giggled. "So I guess we'll be seeing you and the rest of the team in a week."

"Yeah! It's so exciting!" Nagisa said. "Our new backstroke swimmer isn't like Mako-chan, but he did really well! And Dai-chan's stroke is so powerful now. He's really improved."

"Oh yeah? I'm happy for you guys," Kanade said. "What about your individual races? How did yours go?"

"A-Ah, w-well, eheh…" Nagisa chuckled nervously, his voice softening. "I, well... I got 5th place."

Kanade's smile disappeared from her face. "Wha— really?" Kanade asked.

"Yeah," Nagisa hummed.

"What happened?" Kanade asked.

"O-Oh, well, I… I got a late start," Nagisa admitted.

"A late start?" Kanade repeated. "N-Nagisa-kun… what happened?"

Nagisa chuckled again, his laugh more forced and strained. It made Kanade wince at the sound.

"I was… well, I couldn't concentrate, I guess," Nagisa said, his voice low and sad.

Kanade furrowed her brows together and curled her fingers into a tight fist. She knew that Nagisa was spontaneous and fun-loving and excitable, but for him to lose his concentration during a race…

"What was on your mind?" Kanade asked. She leaned forward and rested her arm on the desk, her fist now loose.

Nagisa hesitated.

The silence on the other line startled Kanade. It was unusual for Nagisa to be as quiet as he was being.

"N-Nagisa-kun?" she called.

"O-Oh, I was, uh…" Nagisa stuttered. "Eheh… I kind of got into a fight with Rei-chan."

Kanade's eyes widened. "A fight?!"

"N-Not a fist-fight! We didn't punch each other or anything!" Nagisa defended. "We just… well, I… it's a long story."

Kanade straightened in her chair, her assignment on her desk long forgotten.

"I've got time," she said.

Another pause.

"W-Well, it has to deal with college," Nagisa started. "My… my parents want me to go to a school in Tokyo. Haru-chan's school, actually."

Kanade perked up, a small smile coming to her face. "Oh! That's a good school, Nagisa-kun!" she said.

"Y-Yeah, it is…" Nagisa said. "But… I'm not sure if I want to go."

Kanade's smile fell.

"Hm? Why not?" Kanade asked.

"Well, I… I haven't talked to Rei-chan about it, yet," Nagisa admitted. Kanade blinked for a moment and then stiffened, realizing where this was going. "A-And, I don't know if I want to go to a different school than Rei-chan."

Kanade slumped down in her chair. "You haven't talked to him about it?"

"No, not really," Nagisa said. Kanade could hear him moving about as if he was fidgeting. "And since my parents made the decision, I've been avoiding Rei-chan. I didn't mean to, honest! I just wanted time to figure things out. And then… Rei-chan started to avoid me, too."

Kanade winced, saddened by Nagisa's cracking voice. His usual bubbly demeanor had been replaced with a melancholic attitude. Where was the sweet and happy Nagisa?

"I've been thinking about the advice you gave us back in Iwatobi… about working hard and moving forward," Nagisa said. "But… I don't know what to do if… if I'm scared to make any decision at all. I…"

Kanade heard a small sniffle and her heart broke.

"I don't want to stop seeing Rei-chan every day."

Kanade hung her head and wiped her eyes. Nagisa really knows how to break people's hearts.

"Nagisa-kun, listen," Kanade said gently. "You _need_ to talk to him. Seriously."

"But, what if he gets angry about my choice?" Nagisa asked, his voice rising a little to a panicked squeak. "I… I don't want him to hate me."

"He won't hate you," Kanade assured. "When do you need to make a decision by?"

"W-Well, I've got some time. I'm actually planning on coming early to nationals so I can visit Haru-chan's school."

"Okay," Kanade said, thinking for a moment. "Well, why don't you go through with the visit and then see how you feel? Maybe you'll like the campus and you'll feel more confident about talking to Ryugazaki."

Nagisa paused before gasping dramatically.

"Oh, Kana-chan! You're a genius!" he shouted.

Kanade deadpanned.

It was like a light switch. How on earth did he change his mood so quickly?

"I will try that, Kana-chan!" Nagisa said. "Thank you, thank you!" he said happily.

A smile forced its way onto Kanade's face at his renewed happiness. She chuckled a little.

"You're welcome. I will see you soon!"

"Bye!"

Kanade sighed and hung up the phone, resting it back down on her desk. She glanced down at the assignment in front of her and saw the numerous blanks on the page. Annoyance made her brow twitch as she grabbed her pencil again and read a question.

"Okay, so first, I need to—"

Suddenly, her phone buzzed again, startling her and making her fling her pencil onto the floor. She put up a hand to her heart and then grabbed her phone. Her cocked her head but then she answered it.

"Hello?" she greeted

"Ah, Shizumi-san, good morning."

Kanade smiled, almost chuckling at the irony of this.

"Oh, hello, Ryugazaki-kun," Kanade greeted. "Congrats on making it to nationals!"

"Thank you, Shizumi-san," Rei replied. "I was quite proud of the team!"

"Yeah, I heard the team did really well," Kanade said. She paused for a moment, remembering Nagisa's phone call. "And please, just call me Kanade."

There was a brief pause. "A-Are you sure?" Rei asked.

"Of course! All of your friends already call me that anyway," Kanade said.

"Well, Nagisa-kun doesn't count…"

" _Ryugazaki."_

"Fine, fine! But only if you'll refer to me by my first name as well," Rei said.

"Deal," Kanade said. "So, your team is going to nationals! I guess I'll be seeing you soon."

"Ah, y-yes, that's true," Rei said. Kanade could hear him adjusting his glasses and she snickered. Rei was an open book. "Although, I _am_ a bit nervous about it."

Kanade waved her hand in the air. "You'll be fine," she assured. "So, anyway, how did your individual race go?"

Rei went silent, and Kanade jerked, remembering the fight Nagisa had talked to her about. She bit her lip, awaiting bad news.

"I, uh… I came in 6th place," Rei said quietly.

"6th?" Kanade repeated. "Rei-kun, what happened?"

"I… well. I…"

Rei stumbled with his words and Kanade felt her heart sink. Rei was usually so organized…

Rei cleared his throat, and Kanade could almost feel him sitting up straight to give his answer.

"I did my stroke incorrectly, and my shoulder… started to hurt again," Rei said, his voice getting quiet at the end of his sentence.

Kanade stood to her feet at her desk.

"Rei-kun!" Kanade yelled, her voice mixed with panic.

"I-I-I know!" Rei stuttered, his voice rising. "It was foolish and irresponsible and _not_ beautiful at _all_!" he shouted.

Kanade settled back into her chair and rested her head on her hand. She listened to Rei berate himself for a moment and then she sighed.

"Rei-kun," Kanade interrupted.

"Y-Yes?" Rei answered.

"You usually focus so clearly that you would never make a mistake like that," Kanade said.

"I know," Rei said quietly, his voice drifting off.

"Then you were distracted," Kanade said.

"...Yes," Rei answered.

Kanade felt her heart drop into her stomach.

This felt familiar.

"What was on your mind?" she asked.

"Ah, well, you see…" Rei started. "I, uh, actually got into an argument with Nagisa-kun shortly before our individual events."

Kanade raised a brow, curious of Rei's perspective.

"Oh?" Kanade asked.

"Yes," Rei said. "You see, Nagisa-kun had been acting strangely and we hadn't been speaking to each other much. I also had just had a meeting with the guidance counselor and I was feeling quite out of sorts myself."

Kanade blinked. "Guidance counselor?" she asked.

"O-Oh, yes," Rei said. "I had a meeting with her, and she gave me information about a college… in Tokyo…"

Kanade's eyes widened and her brows arched. "Toyko?" she repeated.

"Ah, yes… m-more specifically… yours and Makoto-senpai's school," Rei said.

Kanade's jaw dropped.

"W-Well, it _is_ a good school, Rei-kun," Kanade said.

"Yes, I know," Rei said. "Actually, it's perfect for me. The program offered there perfectly fulfills my interests and it has a great track and field program."

Kanade smiled a little. "Well, isn't that _good_ news?" she asked.

"Ah, yes… but…" Rei stuttered. "I'm… unsure how to tell Nagisa-kun. I mean… I don't know where he is going to school and… well…" Rei swallowed. "I'm not sure how I will fare… without him."

Kanade felt her heart jump, feeling excited about the news. She opened her mouth to tell him how silly he had been worrying about this. Nagisa would be in the same city! Only a train ride away! How could he possibly be worried?

But then, Kanade shut her mouth.

 _This is something they need to talk to each other about,_ Kanade thought sadly.

She cleared her throat.

"Well, have you talked to Nagisa-kun about it?" Kanade asked.

"Oh, well, n-no," Rei answered. "I, uh, I'm actually coming to visit the school next week before nationals. I was actually calling to request that you and Makoto-senpai give me a tour of the campus. I tried calling him, but he did not answer his phone."

"Oh, sure! We can give you a tour," Kanade said. "Does Nagisa-kun know you're coming early to tour?"

"O-Of course not!" Rei said a little defensively. "I… he can't know about this, yet," Rei said sadly.

Kanade tapped her pencil on her notebook. "Well, how about this," she started. "Why don't you do the tour with us and see how you feel afterwards? Maybe you'll have enough confidence to talk to Nagisa-kun about it afterwards."

There was a short pause as Rei considered her idea.

"W-Well, I suppose that would be for the best," Rei said, and Kanade could hear him adjust his glasses again. "All right. I will plan on that, then."

Kanade smiled. "Great! Then I will see you next week?"

"Of course," Rei said. "I guess I've kept you long enough. Have a good day, Shizumi-san."

" _Kanade_."

"R-Right. K… Kanade-san."

Kanade giggled. "Bye, Rei-kun!"

And with that, Kanade hung up the phone. She huffed out an accomplished sigh and folded her arms across her chest.

"All right. Now to see what work I have left!" Kanade mumbled to herself. She glanced down at her assignment and saw that she had only completed one question. "WHAT?!"

* * *

"Just confess already. You're getting annoying."

Haru finished off his popsicle and blinked at Makoto, who was still sucking on his half. They sat on the curb outside of the rec center, just finishing up a solid swim session.

At Haru's comment, Makoto jumped and stared at him with wide eyes.

"Eh?! Haru! It's not that easy!"

Haru's face fell into a scowl, making Makoto recoil.

"Sorry, sorry!" Makoto apologized. "I will confess to her, just… not now. Maybe… maybe I'll confess when the tryouts for the national team are over."

"Makoto, that's in _January_."

"I know, but—"

"What are you so afraid of?" Haru asked seriously. Makoto fidgeted, spinning the empty popsicle stick in between his fingers.

"There are… a few reasons, I guess," Makoto said. "I guess I'm… worried that if I take the next step with her, then things would change… and my friendship with you would…"

Makoto's voice trailed off and Haru's face softened. He glanced down into his lap, recalling their fight back in high school. Makoto was so afraid that his friendship with Haru would change if he told Haru about his decision to go to Tokyo. That fact had always bothered Haru.

Does Makoto not know that Haru would not throw him away like that?

Haru pursed his lips, remembering how that fight played out. Why did Makoto have to have so many insecurities? He sighed quietly and then straightened, giving Makoto an annoyed look.

"Our friendship won't change," Haru said bluntly. Makoto snapped his head up to look at him. Haru was able to pick out every shade of green in his eyes with how wide they were.

"H-Haru—"

"What are your other excuses?"

Makoto shut his mouth and quickly looked into his lap. A maddening blush coated his cheeks and nose, even crawling up to the tips of his ears.

"W-Well, I…" Makoto stuttered. "I-I've never… confessed to anyone before."

Haru deadpanned and blinked at him. "So?" he said after a moment of silence.

"S-So?!" Makoto repeated, turning his head to look at Haru. "I-I-I have no idea what I'm doing! I mean, what if she actually _doesn't_ like me like that? What if she doesn't want to date anyone? What if—"

"You'll never know unless you tell her," Haru interrupted. He stood up from the curb and tossed his popsicle stick in the trashcan outside of the rec center. Makoto followed him sheepishly. "Talk to Rin. I'm sure he knows more about this stuff," he added.

"Rin?" Makoto echoed. His face heated up more. "I-I can't talk to Rin about this! It's too embarrassing!"

Haru rolled his eyes. "Then just go upstairs now. She's home, isn't she?"

"Well, yeah, but—"

"Then go," Haru said, pulling him towards the alleyway. "I don't want to hear you sighing and sulking about her all the time anymore."

"I-I do not _sulk_!" Makoto fussed.

Haru gave Makoto one final push down the alleyway, making him stumble a few steps.

"I'm going to head back. I'll see you later," Haru said, and he turned around.

"H-Haru!" Makoto called, but Haru ignored him and kept walking.

Makoto heaved a sigh and turned around, his face still hot. After a deep breath, he opened the door and ascended the staircase to the apartment.

"Kanade, I'm back!" Makoto called, walking into the apartment. He closed the door behind him. He set down his duffle bag next to the door and took off his shoes.

Kanade poked her head out of her room. "Oh, Makoto, welcome back," she said groggily. Makoto cocked his head and watched as Kanade made her way to the couch.

"You okay?" he asked. She passed him the assignment and then flopped face-down on the couch.

"Ughh," Kanade groaned in response. "Stupid assignment. Can't figure it out," she mumbled into a pillow. She heard Makoto's pure laugh from above her and felt her chest hum. She lifted her head to watch him.

"Oh, yeah, this assignment was tough," Makoto said.

With the assignment in hand, he sat down on the floor and leaned his back against the couch. Kanade sat up on her elbows and looked over Makoto's shoulder, and he could feel her breath on his neck. Tingles shot down his spine and he pinched the paper in between his fingers.

"Did you do it already?" Kanade asked, and Makoto's face turned beet red.

 _She's so close…_ he thought.

"A-Ah, y-yeah," Makoto responded. "O-Okay, so th-this one…"

Makoto shakily started to explain some of the questions to Kanade, his voice cracking every now and then. His finger shook every time he pointed at something on the page, but Kanade just listened politely. Even if she did notice, she stayed silent on the matter.

Once he was done, he swallowed thickly, and he felt Kanade pat his shoulder.

"Thanks, Makoto!" Kanade said, much livelier than she was earlier. She carefully took the paper from his hand, her thumb brushing his, and she stood from the couch. "I'm going to go work on this!"

"A-Ah, okay!" Makoto said with a smile. Kanade disappeared into her room and Makoto heaved a sigh of relief.

 _She smelled so good!_ He thought.

And once Kanade had shut the door behind her, she put her hand to her chest and sighed. She stared up at the ceiling longingly.

 _He smelled so good!_


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

* * *

Kanade sighed heavily as she walked into the classroom and climbed up the stairs to her normal seat. Her arms and legs felt like jelly after the morning practice. The coach was really not going easy on her after being "sick" for two weeks.

She slumped down in her seat and glanced at the empty seat next to her, raising a brow slightly. Was Makoto late?

She glanced around the room to see that it was completely empty. She pushed her brows together nervously. Kanade glanced down at her phone and realized she was early for once. In her zombie-like state, she had managed to walk into the classroom without noticing how empty it was. She chuckled to herself and shook her head.

Maybe the coach _was_ being easy on her after all.

She rested her cheek on her hand and sighed, her eyelids feeling heavy. She could hear the door open and she opened one eye to watch a few students flood in. She closed her eye and a light hum escaped her lips when it was not the person she hoped to see. Just when she was about to drift off, the door opened and jolted her out of her snooze.

Makoto had walked into the classroom and Kanade lifted her head up to greet him but stopped when she saw him. Her jaw dropped and her heart started to go into overdrive, jumping wildly inside her chest.

Makoto was wearing a red button-up shirt with the buttons halfway undone to reveal a black tank top underneath along with a tan collarbone. His sleeves were rolled up, exposing his muscular forearms, and his dark jeans fit his legs perfectly. He was wearing his glasses that handsomely framed his face, his fringe falling over his _very_ green eyes.

Kanade gulped.

"Ah, there you are," Makoto greeted, taking a seat next to her. Kanade could smell his cologne as it breezed past her nose.

 _Oh, I love that smell…_ she thought. Her eyes landed on his collarbone and she watched his chest rise and fall with each breath he took.

"Kanade?"

Kanade snapped out of her thoughts and moved her eyes up to meet Makoto's. He had asked her a question just then. What did she miss?

"S-Sorry?" Kanade asked, her eyes straining to lock with his. Makoto chuckled a bit, the sound making Kanade's face heat up.

"I asked how practice was this morning," Makoto said with his signature smile.

Kanade blinked a few times before answering with a shaky, "Good."

"Ah, good. Your times last week were really good. They've improved quite a bit," Makoto said, taking out his notebook.

"Oh, right. Thanks," Kanade answered.

"You have an intermural meet soon, right?" Makoto asked, leaning his tanned forearms on the desk. Kanade stared at them for a moment before moving her eyes back to meet his.

"Yeah, in a few days," Kanade said.

"Ah," Makoto hummed. "Well, I will definitely be there!"

Kanade hummed in response, the room starting to feel too hot for her to handle. She took out her notebook and set it in front of her. She tapped her finger restlessly on the desk, her leg bouncing.

 _"I don't think you should give up just because you think he'd be miserable."_

Kanade took a deep breath, Haru's words coming back to her.

"Y-You look really nice today," Kanade said quickly, glancing at Makoto sheepishly before staring down at her notebook.

Makoto whipped his head to look at her, his jaw dropped and his eyes wide. He glanced down at his lap and lifted a hand to massage his neck. He hunched in on himself as if he were trying to hide.

"O-Oh, thank you," Makoto answered.

Kanade turned her head and could see a blush creeping up his neck and cheeks, even across the bridge of his nose. She felt her own face heat up at seeing him so flustered.

"I, uh, I just bought this shirt so I wanted to wear it. A-And Rin's been giving me fashion advice tips, s-so this is really more his style, but he said it's better than what I've been wearing and—"

Kanade snorted and then burst into laughter, cutting off Makoto's rambling. He blinked at her, his lips still parted. His blush intensified and he buried his face into his hands.

"Ugh, I _knew_ this would look weird on me!" Makoto whined. He stood up from his seat. "I'll just go back home and change."

"Makoto, w-wait! Don't!" Kanade laughed and grabbed his wrist, pulling him back and making him fall into his seat. "You look great. Really," she said with a sincere smile.

Makoto blinked at her through his lenses, his face still flushed. "Ah, you, uh… you think so? It doesn't… look weird?"

"Not at all!" Kanade said. "I mean, I think it's funny that _Rin_ of all people is giving _you_ fashion advice. I thought your clothes before were fine."

"Ah, w-well, he said I needed to change it up a bit so I can impress—" Makoto abruptly stopped, his face immediately turning red again. Kanade smirked and cocked her head.

"Impress…?" she teased.

"N-Nothing! No one!" Makoto said, waving his arms in front of him.

"Your ears are red," Kanade said.

"C-Cut it out!"

Kanade giggled at him again and flipped open her notebook. The professor walked in and closed the door behind him. He set up his notes at the front and then looked at the class.

"All right, today I want you all to work in pairs on an assignment," he said. He passed out sheets to the front row and the papers were passed around the class. "Finish this worksheet in this class period. Make sure you put both of your names on the paper."

Kanade and Makoto looked down at the sheet and they both blinked a few times.

"Wow, these questions are hard," Kanade said softly.

"W-Well, I think we can handle it," Makoto said. Kanade turned her head to look at him and she smiled.

"All right, let's get started here!" Kanade said. Makoto nodded and he wrote down their names on the page. "Okay, first question."

They both read the question carefully, and then both fell into a long silence.

"Geez, no wonder he wanted us to do this in pairs. These questions are insane," Kanade said, sinking into her chair.

"Ah, maybe I'll look in the textbook," Makoto said. He reached into his bag and pulled out a textbook. He was about to put it on the desk when it slipped from his grasp and fell onto the floor. "Ah, oops," Makoto mumbled.

"Oh, I'll get it!" Kanade said, leaning down.

"No, no, it's fine. I'll get it," Makoto said, also leaning down.

They both reached down to grab the book, their hands landing on top of each other. They both froze and stared at each other, Makoto's eyes wide. His face immediately turned red, but they both were reluctant to move their hands. Kanade could feel his warm hand on top of hers and she longed to keep it this way

"A-Ah, s-s-sorry," Makoto stuttered. He started to retract his hand and Kanade felt the warmth leave her. She felt her heart drop, desperately wanting the feeling to return.

 _"Don't be scared to… take the next step with him."_

Kanade gulped, a wave of confidence surging through her body. She lunged out her hand and grasped his hand. Makoto gasped and looked at her with wide eyes.

"K-Kanade…" he whispered. She avoided his eyes, the blush on her cheeks growing redder. Makoto narrowed his eyes and grabbed Kanade's hand back, squeezing her fingers. "Kanade, listen, I…"

" _You two!"_

Kanade and Makoto immediately sat up and detached from each other, their faces red. They were met with the angered face of the professor, his hands folded across his chest.

"I certainly hope you're discussing the material and _doing your work_ ," he said with a glare.

"Y-Yes, sir!" Makoto answered. His skin was flushed from his neck to his ears, steaming with embarrassment. They both froze, modeling the perfect students until the professor's and the rest of the class' eyes were off of them.

Kanade gulped and quickly leaned down to grab his textbook, snatching it up and placing it down in front of Makoto.

"A-Ah, r-ready to get back to it?" Kanade asked nervously.

"O-Oh, uh, right," Makoto said.

They both leaned over the textbook, not saying a word to each other. Kanade glanced over at him, his face still flushed with a little sweat beading on his forehead.

 _"I don't think you should give up because you think he'd be miserable."_

Kanade groaned internally. _Great, thanks, Nanase! Now look at him! He looks pretty miserable to me!_ She groaned again.

"Ah... Makoto," Kanade called lightly, regret laced in her voice. "I'm really sorry," she apologized, hanging her head a slight bow. "I just… I don't know what came over me, I was… I just—"

Suddenly, she felt something grab her pinky finger. She turned her head and saw that Makoto had hooked his pinky finger onto hers, holding it gently.

"M-Mako—"

"Ah, r-ready to get back to this?" Makoto asked nervously. His face was still beet red and his finger shook while holding hers, but he had no intention of letting go.

With a flushed face, Kanade nodded and turned her eyes to the worksheet. They continued working on the assignment for the rest of class with no other troubles except Kanade's aching cheeks.

She could not stop smiling.

* * *

"C'mon! Get moving! You call that a proper stroke?! Hey! I said keep going! Don't stop!"

Goro was yelling at the first-year backstroke swimmer as he flailed in the pool, startled out of his rhythm by Goro's loud voice.

"Yeesh, he's really at it this time," Dai said.

"Ah, but Coach Sasabe is really just trying to help," Rei said with a soft smile.

"Ooh, Rei-chan! Watch me, watch me!" Nagisa yelled from the other end of the pool. He reared back, then took off and jumped into the pool.

"N-Nagisa-kun! You're supposed to be practicing your exchanges!" Rei yelled. Nagisa let out a squeal of laughter as he surfaced.

"C'mon, Rei-chan! Don't be like that!" Nagisa joked.

"I'm not being like _anything_!"

Gou put her hands on her hips and shook her head. "Honestly!" she said.

"All right, all right, finish up!" Goro barked. "We'll do a full run of the relay tomorrow."

"Yes, sir!" Nagisa said, saluting from the pool.

"I'll be expecting extra laps from you tomorrow, Nagisa!" Goro yelled as he walked out of the gate.

Nagisa's hand limply fell into the pool as he pouted and whined. He sluggishly swam to the edge of the pool where a hand was waiting for him. He glanced up and saw Rei waiting for him.

"You really shouldn't egg on Coach Sasabe," Rei warned. Nagisa smiled brightly and clambered out of the pool.

"I'm just pulling his leg, Rei-chan!" Nagisa said. He turned to look at the backstroke swimmer, who was doing one more lap in the pool. "Besides, I wanted to cheer up the first-years. They seem a little… jittery, hehe."

Rei turned to look at his teammate struggling in the pool, exhaustion obviously starting to take over. Once his lap was done, he clung onto the lane divider and panted.

"He'll be fine," Gou said, walking up to the two of them. She hesitated and pursed her lips, watching the two of them.

 _Well, they_ look _like everything is back to normal,_ Gou thought. _But…_

"So is everything better now with you two?" Gou decided to ask.

Nagisa and Rei jumped and faced her, both caught off guard. They stared at her for a moment with wide eyes before exchanging nervous glances.

"W-What do you mean, Gou-san? Nagisa-kun and I have been completely fine!" Rei said folding his arms across his chest confidently.

"Oh, that's right! Yeah!" Nagisa agreed, putting on a cheeky smile.

Gou stared at them with a deadpan expression, her hands moving to her hips. After staring them down for a moment she heaved a sigh and straightened.

"Well, fine," she said. "Well, we have to discuss traveling and hotel plans, then. We need to meet at the same train station as last year."

"O-Oh, Gou-san," Rei started. "I'll, uh, I'll actually be meeting you there."

Gou cocked her head and Nagisa blinked up at him. "Oh, really?" she asked.

"Y-Yes, I, uh… I have some errands I need to run first, so I'll just meet you all at the hotel that evening," Rei excused.

"Oh, well, I see," Gou said, raising a curious brow. "Well, Nagisa-kun, that just leaves you to—"

"A-Ah, actually, Gou-chan, I'll be meeting you guys at the hotel, too," Nagisa said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Gou's brows shot up and Rei glanced over at his blond friend.

"W-What?!" Gou said. "But you're the _captain_! Aren't you supposed to be in charge of getting your team to Tokyo?!"

"Don't worry so much, Gou-chan!"

"It's _Kou_!"

"Ama-chan and Goro-chan are going, so you'll have them," Nagisa said with a confident pose.

"Eh? B-But—"

"Ah, sorry, Gou-chan, but I've got to head out!" Nagisa chirped, and he rushed to the locker room.

"Oh, I have to take my leave, as well, Gou-san," Rei said, and he took off to the locker room.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Gou yelled. "Where do you think you're going?!"

* * *

Both Nagisa and Rei rushed to change and they left Iwatobi in a flash.

Rei and Nagisa walked down the street in a strange silence. Both of their hearts were heavy, but neither of them was willing to speak about the subject at hand.

"A-Ah, so, you're meeting us in Tokyo this time, huh?" Nagisa asked, his eyes locked on the path ahead. He tried to keep his normal smile on his face.

"O-Oh, y-yes," Rei answered. He adjusted his glasses with a shaky hand. "I… have a few errands to run before we leave. My, uh... my brother lives near there."

"Y-Yeah, I get it!" Nagisa said, chuckling lightly and rubbing the back of his head. "I've got some stuff to do, too!"

"G-Great!" Rei said.

"Yeah!" Nagisa said, trying to sound excited.

They walked a few more blocks down the road in more silence before splitting off at an intersection.

"See you tomorrow, Rei-chan!" Nagisa said and waved.

Rei waved back and watched Nagisa head down the other street towards his home. Rei sighed and let his hand fall limply to his side.

 _I'm sorry, Nagisa-kun._

* * *

"You ready, Kanade?" Makoto asked as they left the apartment. Kanade turned to him and gave him a thumbs-up.

"As always!" Kanade said. Makoto smiled at her but his brows were creased.

"You have your oxygen tank, right?" Makoto asked, closing the door behind him.

"Yes, yes, _mom_ ," Kanade teased, sticking her tongue out. Makoto thought his heart would burst. Whether it was out of embarrassment or fondness, he was not sure.

 _That was too cute,_ Makoto thought.

"I'm… I'm just trying to look out for you, is all," Makoto said, rubbing the back of his neck.

A blush crept onto his face and Kanade felt her face heat up as well. She took a deep breath before reaching up her hand to gently grab the sleeve of his t-shirt. He glanced down at her, his eyes wide.

"I… I know," Kanade said, smiling lightly. She brushed her fingers along his skin before she let go of his shirt and started walking down the street. Makoto shivered at her touch. "You coming?" Kanade called when Makoto stayed put.

"Oh!" Makoto said, snapping back to reality. He rushed to catch up to her and walked with her to the university.

The pool was crowded and full of spectators. Kanade and Makoto made their way through the crowd of swimmers and headed towards the stands.

"Is this meet super important?" Makoto asked as he followed Kanade towards the stands. Kanade turned her head back to look at him over her shoulder.

"Oh, yeah, definitely!" Kanade said. "If I do well today, then Coach will most likely let me officially tryout for the national team!"

"Oh, really?" Makoto asked.

"Yeah, I'm a little nervous about it, actually," Kanade said. "But, I'm sure that—oof!"

Kanade stuttered a few steps back as she collided with someone.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't—"

Kanade glanced up and saw Watabe standing in front of her. She had her usual scowl on her face, which deepened when she met Kanade's eyes. She put her hands on her hips and stared indignantly down at Kanade. Kanade felt even shorter under Watabe's harsh gaze.

"Ah, h-hello, Watabe-san," Kanade greeted, putting on a nervous smile.

Watabe only glared at her and huffed. She walked past her, shoving her shoulder against Kanade's and making her stumble.

"Kanade!" Makoto gasped, and he shuffled forward and put a hand on her back, steadying her in place. Kanade's eyes watched Watabe leave but she stiffened at Makoto's touch. "You okay?" he asked.

"Oh, y-yeah," Kanade said. Makoto's hand left her back and she faced him, giving him a nervous smile. "Watabe still doesn't like me all that much," she chuckled. "Thank you."

"Of course," Makoto said with his genuine smile. "Shall we?" he asked, nodding towards the stands. Kanade nodded and followed him up to the steps.

They plopped down in their seats and gazed over the length of the empty pool. Swimmers were itching to get warmed up as they hovered near the starting blocks, and Kanade was bouncing in her seat. Her blue eyes sparkled while her hands curled into excited fists. Makoto smiled at her and giggled.

"You're going to work yourself up before you even hit the water," Makoto said, handing her a bottle of water.

"I know, I know!" Kanade said. She took a swig of water and then set the bottle down by her feet. "But I'm just so excited and so nervous and I… I just want to swim!" she groaned. She held her knees in place to stop her legs from bouncing.

Makoto smiled at her, a light blush forming under the corners of his eyes. He could stare at her all day.

"Why don't you go ahead and change? It looks like they'll open up the pool soon," Makoto said with his signature head-tilt.

He grabbed her duffle bag and handed it to her, Kanade's fingers gently curling around his to grasp the straps. She held on for a moment, looking into his eyes. His face reddened immensely and Kanade's face burned with a blush of her own.

"G-Good luck," Makoto stuttered, his eyes not leaving hers nor his hand letting go of the duffle bag. Her fingers hesitantly squeezed his and she forced her eyes to stare into his.

"Th-Thanks!" Kanade said, her face maddeningly red. She straightened and Makoto released the duffle bag, the straps almost falling out of her grasp. She fumbled with the bag for a second, her skin blotchy and red. "See you later!" Kanade said, and she rushed down the steps.

Makoto released a breath he did not know he was holding and hunched over, resting his arms on his knees.

Had the room always been this hot?

Once Makoto regained his composure, he straightened and watched as some swimmers dove into the pool. He felt his shoulders relax as he watched their small bodies glide through the water.

It was different seeing female swimmers as opposed to male swimmers. Makoto was amazed at their finesse, how carefully they dove into the pool with smaller splashes. It was really quite beautiful to watch.

Soon enough, a familiar, short girl walked out of the locker room. Makoto smiled when he saw her head towards the starting block, her usual swim cap on her head as well as her goggles hanging around her neck. Once a starting block was free, she stepped up onto it and reached to her neck to grab her goggles. She stopped when another girl stepped up onto the starting block next to hers.

Makoto grimaced.

It was Watabe.

Several of the girls noticed the tension that suddenly thickened in the air, and Makoto felt queasy. He watched Kanade say something to her with a smile on her face, but Watabe said nothing in return. She only put her goggles over her eyes, bent down at the block, and dove in. He saw Kanade sigh and put her goggles on as well.

Makoto gripped his knees. This could definitely turn ugly.

After a few minutes of warming up, the Coach blew a whistle, signaling everyone out of the pool. The first few heats were backstroke and breaststroke. The coach watched each swimmer carefully and jotted down notes on his clipboard after each heat. Makoto assumed he was writing down names for the tryouts.

Then, the 100m freestyle heat was announced, and Kanade hopped up from the bench on the side. After some brief stretching of her arms, she stepped up onto a starting block.

Makoto heaved another sigh.

Why did she have to be next to Watabe again?

Makoto lifted his thumb to his lip, anxiously biting his nail in worry as Watabe glared at Kanade.

But Kanade paid her no mind. Her fierce eyes were looking straight ahead, clear as the water itself. When the announcer sounded a firm "Ready," Kanade slipped on her goggles over her eyes and bent down at the starting block. She exhaled slowly, her lips tightening into a line as she focused.

Then, the buzzer sounded, and Kanade leaped off of the platform in a perfect dive. She reached the surface and started her front-crawl. Makoto jumped up from his seat, unable to contain his nerves. Kanade and Watabe were neck-and-neck.

"Watabe-san!"

"Let's go, Watabe!"

"C'mon, Watabe! Go, go, go!"

Makoto glanced around, seeing several swimmers cheering for Watabe. He watched with a pounding heart as Kanade started to gain speed, inching further and further away from Watabe. Several groans and whispers roared across the crowd as Kanade made the turn first.

"Go, Kanade!" Makoto yelled amongst the crowd. "You can do it!"

Kanade had a huge lead and was only widening the gap as she approached the starting block.

 _Keep going, push it, push it!_ Kanade thought. _I've got to get better, move faster, I've got to…_

Then, Kanade slapped her hand against the wall, sending water droplets flying into the air. The other swimmers were stunned silent, but Makoto's eyes widened as he smiled proudly.

Kanade had come in first.

She gasped for breath as she came up and heaved, her shoulders jumping wildly. She took off her cap and goggles and turned her head up to see the boards. Her eyes widened when she saw her name sitting in first.

"Kanade!"

Kanade snapped her head to the stands and her heart skipped a beat. Makoto was waving his hands in the air and had a bright smile on his face.

"You did it, Kanade!" Makoto shouted.

Kanade smiled back, his gesture incredibly contagious, and waved back happily at him. She was about to climb out of the pool when a light splashing next to her stopped her.

In the lane next to her stood Watabe, water dripping from her head. She was glaring harshly at Kanade, throwing mental daggers her way. Kanade gulped and moved a step back. She opened her mouth to speak to her, but Watabe huffed and climbed out of the pool. Kanade clambered towards the edge and reached out her hand.

"Wa—"

Kanade wheezed and put a hand to her chest, words unable to escape her throat as her heart clenched painfully. Makoto's sweet cheering stopped almost immediately and Kanade turned her head towards the stands to look at him. He was staring back at her with a frightened expression on his face. He appeared conflicted as he shifted his weight on his feet. He looked ready to jump off of the stands and rush to her side.

Kanade quickly waved him off and put on a small, reassuring smile. Makoto's brows pushed together.

'Are you sure you're okay?' his eyes asked.

Kanade hesitated and then winced, feeling a strong jolt of pain squeezing her heart in her chest. Not wanting to worry him further, she nodded with a pained smile and then pulled herself out of the pool.

The coach then called for a new stroke as Kanade stumbled away from the pool. She made it to a bench near the locker room doors and plopped down. Her back hunched over as she held onto her chest.

 _I wonder if my time was good,_ Kanade thought. _I know I came in first, but… is it enough?_

"Kanade!"

Kanade lifted her head and saw Makoto rushing over to her. He had a towel and her duffle bag in his hands. He knelt down in front of her and handed her the towel. She took it gingerly and wiped off her face.

"Thanks," she said with a raspy voice.

"Are you okay?" Makoto asked, concern laced in his voice.

"Yes," Kanade said quickly. She heaved a few more times, burying her face in the towel. Makoto reached up and touched her wrist, making her lower the towel. She stared into determined eyes.

"Do you need oxygen?" Makoto asked. His fingers gripped the strap of the duffle bag and his eyes became serious. Kanade blinked at him for a moment. Makoto was willing to drop everything to help her. She smiled at him.

"I… I think I'm… okay," Kanade panted. She straightened and leaned back against the wall. Makoto stood up and sat down next to her, eyeing her carefully. He placed his hand on her shoulder, tingles shooting down his spine at the softness of her bare skin.

"Are… are you sure?" Makoto asked. Kanade turned her head and widened her smile. She nodded.

"I just… need to ca… catch my breath," Kanade stuttered. "I'll be ready… for my next race."

Kanade's breaths had started to calm as she spoke but she still kept a tentative hand on her chest. She could feel her heart pounding hard in her chest and she rubbed circles as if she was trying to prevent it from breaking completely. She hoped the pacemaker could keep up with its thrashing.

"All right," Makoto said softly. He removed his hand and watched her as she sighed. "You did really well," he said, his lips upturning into a kind smile. Kanade lifted her head to meet his eyes.

"How was my… my time?" Kanade asked.

"It was pretty good," Makoto said. "You're the fastest so far."

"I see," she responded, looking down at her bare feet. Makoto cocked his head as his smile faltered.

"Everything okay?" he asked. Kanade swung her foot on the bench.

"Yeah, I was just… I want t… to break my record, I guess," she answered. Makoto smiled again and chuckled.

"You'll have plenty of opportunities to break records," he said. Kanade glanced up at him and pouted, making Makoto chuckle even more. "Don't give me that face! Really, just take it one step at a time."

Kanade sighed dramatically and answered with a huffy, "Fine."

Makoto huffed out one last laugh before turning his gaze to the pool and leaning back against the wall. The two of them sat on the bench in comfortable silence and watched race after race. The coach wrote down on his clipboard after every race like usual and then he would call for the next round of swimmers.

Once all the short distance races were complete, the coach announced swimmers for the 200m freestyle race— Kanade's second race.

Kanade had finally caught her breath and she stood up from the bench and stretched. Her chest still throbbed with a dull ache that just would not go away, but she did not dare let Makoto know.

"You'll do great," Makoto said, also standing to his feet. He gave her goggles and swim cap to her and smiled.

"Thanks," Kanade said, and she rushed over to the starting block. Makoto stood by the bench near the locker rooms, clutching Kanade's duffle bag.

Fortunately, Watabe was not right next to Kanade. Makoto sighed in relief when he saw Watabe walk down to the end, far enough away from Kanade. He watched Kanade snap on her swim cap and tuck her hair underneath. She turned around and gave Makoto a thumbs-up before putting her goggles on. Makoto smiled and nodded at her, returning the thumbs-up.

The announcer sounded another firm "Ready," and all of the swimmers bent down at their blocks. Kanade exhaled and closed her eyes for a moment, listening carefully for the buzzer. Her chest still throbbed.

Then, the buzzer sounded and Kanade's eyes flew open and she hurled herself off of the starting block. She surfaced quickly and started her stroke, pacing herself carefully.

Makoto watched and his hand gripped his chest to try to hold in his nerves. His mind immediately brought up his race with Haru last year. He remembered how he used up all of his energy on the first lap, desperately trying to compete on the same level as his best friend.

Kanade made her first turn and headed back towards the start.

Makoto's efforts were wasted, however. Once he was halfway through the race, his stamina had started to decline, and he fell behind the pack. Haru breezed past him and that was it. Makoto tried to reach out to him, but even he knew…

He had to let go.

Kanade reached the starting block and did her other turn. It was the last lap. Makoto shook his head to rid his mind of his thoughts and focused back on Kanade. She was flying down her lane, seconds ahead of the other swimmers. His eyes widened in amazement. She was still so fast.

She made the turn at the far end of the pool before any of the other swimmers and pushed herself off of the wall. Her stroke picked up speed as she came down the home stretch.

 _Ugh, this hurts,_ Kanade thought, her chest constricting again. _But I'm so close!_

Kanade, knowing it could be harmful, surged faster, slicing her hands through the water. Her lungs tightened as they tried to compensate for her thrashing.

 _Makoto is watching,_ Kanade thought. _I can't disappoint him!_

Finally, she slapped her hand against the wall and reared back, painfully gasping for air. She gripped the side of the pool, holding her chest and grimacing. The pain was intense, and she did not bother to look at the boards.

Makoto was by her side in an instant, putting a hand on hers and grabbing her attention. She looked up at him with agony written in her eyes and panic flitted across his face. She shook her head and grabbed his hand.

"I'm… fine," she rasped. Makoto jumped at the sound of her voice. She took off her swim cap and goggles and put them on the concrete. "H-How… did… I… do?" Kanade asked, her hand returning to grip the side of the pool.

Makoto blinked at her for a moment before putting on a strained smile.

"You got first again," Makoto answered. Kanade's eyes widened.

"Really?" she asked. Makoto nodded in response, happy to deliver the news. Kanade smiled and pushed her hand harder against her chest, feeling the uncomfortable thrashing of her heart. "Th… That's… g… great."

"Kanade, don't speak," Makoto said lightly. "C'mon."

He extended a hand down to her and she grabbed it weakly. He pulled her out of the lane and guided her to the bench near the lockers. She sat down and pushed her hand harder against her chest, willing the pain away.

"S… S…." Kanade hissed. _Slow down,_ she tried to say to her heart.

"Kanade, relax," Makoto said, plopping a towel on her head. He gently started to dry off her hair. "You did great, by the way," Makoto said. Kanade huffed out a strained laugh and she tilted her head to look up at him, giving him a smile. He smiled back at her warmly.

From the far end of the pool, Watabe was watching with curiosity and concern written on her face.

* * *

"Let's see, swim cap, goggles, suit…" Kanade mumbled to herself as she packed up her duffle bag for the next morning. The swim meet was still fresh in her mind, and she was ready to get back to the heavy training in the weeks to come. "Oh, towel!" she whispered to herself.

She stood up from her spot on her bedroom floor and walked to the hall closet, promptly grabbing a towel.

"How'd your meet go?"

Kanade closed the closet door and peered down the hallway. Fukui stood there with his hands in his pockets and his back hunched over a little. There was no smile to be seen on his face.

"Oh, it was great!" Kanade answered happily. "I got first in both of my events. Coach wants to start hardcore training tomorrow in preparation for the national team tryouts."

"I see," he said gruffly. "And… how did you feel?"

Kanade bit her lip and hesitated. She knew she had to keep Fukui in the loop, regardless of how badly it could turn out.

"My chest was hurting the whole time," Kanade said softly. Fukui's brow twitched. "But, I didn't pass out or feel dizzy! And Coach was really impressed."

"I… see," Fukui answered slowly. He paused and ran a hand through his silvery hair. "Maybe… it's about time you tell your coach about your condition."

Kanade's smile fell into a confused pout. She blinked at him for a second while her eyebrows creased with worry.

"Wha… why?" Kanade asked, stuttering over her words. "I haven't had an attack lately and my times have even improved."

"Yes, well…" Fukui sighed. "If he were to know, then maybe he'll ease up on your regimen. I think you need to slow it down a bit."

Kanade let out a nervous chuckle and she raised a brow. "Fukui-san, if I slow down now, then I may never make it to the Olympics. I have to keep training harder so—"

"It's not worth your health!" Fukui roared.

Kanade flinched and shut her mouth, surprised by Fukui's sudden outburst. She held the towel close to her body like a shield and stiffened in place. Fukui huffed out a short sigh and ran his fingers through his hair again. He glanced up to look at Kanade's face and winced.

"Sorry," he apologized. He abruptly spun around and headed into the kitchen where he leaned his elbows on the counter and hung his head. Kanade paused and then cautiously followed him.

"Fukui-san, did… is something wrong?" she asked, fearful of his answer. She was still hugging the towel to her stomach.

Fukui sighed but remained still like a statue.

"Dr. Koji said it doesn't look good," Fukui admitted.

Kanade inhaled sharply, her back starting to hurt from how stiff she was.

"What… do you mean?" she asked hesitantly.

"The pacemaker isn't enough, I guess," Fukui explained. He turned around from the counter and rested his back against it. His eyes were tired and his lips were pulled into a grimace. "I think it's time you start thinking about other career paths."

Kanade's eyes widened and her knuckles turned white from her death grip on the towel. She thought her knees would give out underneath of her as they practically crumpled.

"What?" she asked. "B-But—"

"Just… keep it in mind," Fukui interrupted. He walked to the front door and slipped on his shoes. "You can work hard all you want and make your ship leave port. But if that ship has a hole in it," Fukui paused to open the front door. "It'll sink without reaching its destination at all."

Kanade jolted, her chest feeling incredibly tight.

That was one part of the metaphor she did not remember hearing before.

"Later, kid."

Fukui walked through the front door. Kanade could hear him mutter an 'excuse me' as he descended the stairs and then Makoto's face suddenly appeared at the front door.

"I'm back!" Makoto said, walking through the front door and shutting it behind him. His usual smile disappeared in a flash when he saw Kanade's face. "Kanade? What's wrong?" he asked, his brows creasing in worry. He quickly approached her with his hands extended to touch her shoulders.

Kanade's breath hitched in her chest when Makoto's hands rested on her shoulders and she hugged the towel closer to her body.

"It's… it's nothing."


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

* * *

Kanade stared up at the ceiling with her back flat on the couch and her hands cradling her head. She a burned a hole through the ceiling as she stared at the same spot for what seemed like an eternity. Dread made her heart heavy, feeling as though bricks were sitting in her chest.

 _"I think it's time you start thinking about other career paths."_

 _Another career?_ Kanade thought. _There's nothing else I want to do…_

Kanade's brows creased and knitted together as her thoughts made her head spin.

 _A life without swimming? Giving up on my dream? How could Fukui-san even suggest such a thing?_

Kanade winced when she tried to picture herself working an office job. She shut her eyes tight, trying to push the thought far from her mind. A strange hum in her chest had started to form, and she took long, deep breaths to try to rid the pain. But it sill lingered, throbbing against her ribcage.

 _No…_

"…anade."

 _It'll be fine. It won't happen._

"Kanade?"

 _I will reach the Olympics. I will stand on an international stage. I will—_

"Ka-na-de!"

Kanade's eyes popped open and she was met with a sea of green. She nearly jumped out of her skin and sat up, bonking her forehead against Makoto's. They both groaned and held their heads in pain.

"Ouch… I thought you were just asleep," Makoto said with a light chuckle.

"Ah, y-yeah," Kanade groaned. She rubbed her forehead. "Sorry."

"No worries," Makoto said with a smile. "You seemed to be deep in thought, though. I called your name several times." He let his hands hang by his sides. "You okay?"

Kanade stared up at him and smiled softly. "Yeah, I'm fine," she answered. "She hopped off of the couch and stood to her feet. "We have to go meet Rei-kun, right?" she asked.

Makoto nodded and returned the smile. "Yep! He said he would meet us at the bus stop near the campus."

"Okay," Kanade said. They both grabbed their backpacks and headed for the front door. "Let's go!"

* * *

Haru plopped down on his bed and ran a towel through his hair. Across the room, Torii did the same, sighing and practically collapsing into his pillows. Practice that morning was long and brutal, especially since they were both talked to about tryouts for the national team. Torii was so excited about it at first, but then he saw the extreme training regimen in preparation for the tryouts. He quietly pouted the rest of the practice.

"Coach is never going to let up, is he?" Torii groaned, hugging a pillow to his chest. "Practice was so rough this morning."

"You have to accept the water," Haru said bluntly, his face serious. Torii's eye twitched at that.

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled, waving Haru off. He had gotten used to Haru's strange obsession with the water by now. "Do you have class later?" he decided to ask to change the subject.

"Yeah, at 10," Haru answered. He glanced down at his phone and searched for Makoto's name.

"Want to get lunch after?"

Haru started a text.

"Yeah, that sounds—"

Suddenly, there came three swift knocks at the door. Haru set his phone down in his lap and stared at the door questioningly.

" _Haru-chan!"_

Haru's eyes widened at the chirpy sound coming from the outside of the door.

"You expecting company?" Torii asked.

"No," Haru said. He stood up from his bed and walked over to the door. He opened it and in the next moment, he was tackled. A small body collided with his and a flicker of blond caught his eye.

"Haru-chan!" came the voice again, this time muffled as his face was pressed into Haru's chest.

"Nagisa?" Haru fumbled, stumbling back a few steps as Nagisa held on. Nagisa lifted his head and beamed at Haru.

"Haru-chan! I'm here to visit your school!" Nagisa piped. "Give me a tour!"

"A tour?" Haru repeated. "Today?"

"Yes, yes! I can't do tomorrow!" Nagisa said. "I have to meet the rest of the team for nationals tomorrow."

Haru blinked down at him again, his face turning a little more annoyed. He looked away and pursed his lips.

"Too much effort," Haru said.

Nagisa pouted and nuzzled his head in Haru's chest.

"Aw, don't be like that, Haru-chan!" Nagisa said. He lifted his head to meet Haru's eyes and gave him a pleading look. "Pleeease, Haru-chan?" he begged with puppy-dog eyes.

Haru rolled his eyes and sighed in defeat. "Fine."

Nagisa beamed and let go of Haru, jumping into the air.

"When can we go? Can we go now?" he asked excitedly.

"Let me get changed," Haru said, turning back to his room and walking to his dresser.

"Yay!" Nagisa cheered. "What's your school mascot? Is it a penguin?!"

From across the room, Torii cocked his head at Haru as he changed his shirt. "Friend of yours?" he asked. Haru blinked back at Torii, his face deadpan.

"Yeah," Haru answered simply.

"Yo! I'm Hazuki Nagisa!" Nagisa introduced happily, lifting his hand in a wave. Torii's eyes widened and he blinked at Nagisa, a strained smile forcing its way onto his face.

"T-Torii Masato."

"Oh, Maso-chan! Nice to meet you!" Nagisa said.

Torii blinked again, this time in confusion. "Maso… chan?"

"So you're Haru-chan's roommate, huh? Do you like it here? What's your major?"

Torii stuttered, trying to listen to all of the questions that Nagisa sputtered out all at once. He opened his mouth to speak when Haru closed his dresser drawer.

"Nagisa, let's go," Haru said gently.

"Yaay!" Nagisa whirled around and followed Haru to the door.

"I'll see you in class," Haru said to Torii.

Torii jolted out of his thoughts at the sound of Haru's voice.

"Ah, s-sure," Torii responded. He watched the two of them leave the room and he sat stiffly on his bed. "What… just happened?"

* * *

Rei got off of the bus at the stop and glanced around. The streets were busy with shuffling feet and zooming buses. It was just how he had remembered it last year when the team went to nationals. He had to practically keep Nagisa on a leash to prevent him from running out into the street.

 _Nagisa-kun…_

Rei sighed and his head lowered to gaze at the sidewalk. He hoped Nagisa believed the excuse that he needed to run a very important errand near Tokyo, which happened to be where his older brother lived…

Well… that's where he _told_ Nagisa his brother lived.

Rei hated lying about the whereabouts of his older brother, but it seemed to be enough for Nagisa not to question it.

 _"Why don't you see how the visit goes and then talk to him?"_

Rei huffed out a determined sigh after remembering Kanade's words and glanced up at the busy street. He reached into his pocket for his phone.

"Ah, Rei! Over here!"

Rei's hand stilled in his pocket and spun around to face the campus. A light smile formed on his face as he saw Kanade and Makoto waving to him from the main entrance into the campus. Rei rushed over to them.

"Ah, good morning, Makoto-senpai, Kanade-san. I hope I didn't make you wait long," Rei said. Makoto waved his hand casually.

"Not at all, Rei," Makoto said. "You ready?"

"Ah, y-yes," Rei stuttered. He fidgeted with the strap of his bag.

"All right, then. Let's go," Makoto said. He nodded at the both of them and started to lead them away from the busy streets and onto campus. Rei fell into step with Makoto while an unusually quiet Kanade lagged behind. "So you're considering this college, right?"

"Ah, yes. I believe it is my first choice," Rei answered. "Do you like it here, Makoto-senpai?"

"Yeah!" Makoto answered with a bright smile. He rubbed the back of his neck shyly. "I love it a lot."

Rei stared up at Makoto with excitement in his eyes. "What do you love about it, Makoto-senpai?"

Makoto's cheeks dusted pink. "W-Well, I mean, the classes are great and the professors are pretty helpful. I've really taken a liking to the city and its—" Makoto turned his head back to glance at Kanade, who was staring up at the clouds. Makoto turned back to Rei to finish his sentence. "—its people."

Rei raised a brow and then turned his head back to look at Kanade as well, who had not said a word the entire time.

"Its… people?" Rei asked, his brows arching. "Um… Makoto-senpai, are you and Kanade-san—"

"OH! Look, Rei!" Makoto interrupted and pointed towards a large building. His face was colored a deep red. "It's the sports facilities! You wanted to see the track, right?"

Rei blinked for a second and then smiled. "Oh, of course! Let's go."

Makoto huffed out a sigh of relief and led Rei towards the building. He turned his head back to look at Kanade. She was still staring into space with a tired frown pulling at her lips. Her hands her resting in her jacket pockets and her blue eyes were dulled.

She looked deep in thought and exhausted.

They arrived at the track and Rei watched as some runners sprinted down the field. His eyes were locked onto them, his mouth mumbling as he talked about his theories.

Makoto used this opportunity to stand a little bit closer to Kanade. He bumped his elbow against her shoulder, startling her out of her trance.

"You okay?" Makoto asked, his eyes fond and tone soft.

"Oh, mmn," she hummed with a sad smile on her face. Makoto's brows creased but he maintained his smile.

"You sure? You seem out of it," he noted.

"Oh," Kanade said.

She looked down at the ground and put her hands in her pockets, her eyes lidded. She took a deep breath and thought through everything that she and Fukui had discussed.

"Actually—"

"Ah, Makoto-senpai, Kanade-san!" Rei said, rushing back to meet them. "The facilities here are excellent! And…" Rei paused to look at the two of them, immediately sensing a weird tension. "Um… is everything all right?" Rei asked, his brows pushing together nervously.

Makoto flailed his arms and shook his head. "Of course! You ready to see some of the buildings?" he asked.

Rei brightened up a bit, a confident smile appearing on his face.

"Yes!"

Makoto and Kanade led him all around campus. Rei was mesmerized by the science facilities, his eyes sparkling at the lab equipment. He spouted off nonsense that neither Kanade nor Makoto could decipher but they humored him.

Makoto would purposely try to lean against Kanade or brush against her arm or shoulder, but every time he did, Kanade would flinch and jolt in surprise as if she were burned. Makoto flinched a little every time, too, surprised by how jumpy she had been lately. Just a few days ago, he had held her hand in class...

Makoto shook his head and glanced down at Kanade, trying to fight off the blush on his face. Then, a horrifying thought came to mind.

 _Did... did I mess up?!_

* * *

 _To: Haru_

 _You're still coming to swim tonight, right?_

Haru stared down at his phone and read the text from Makoto. His eyes sparkled at the idea of swimming without hearing yelling from coaches. But something seemed off. There were no smiley faces in his text, nor was there any talk about Kanade. Haru sighed, knowing Makoto was probably overthinking something again. He immediately texted back a simple "Yes," knowing that he would have to drag whatever was wrong out of Makoto tonight.

"Haru-chan, Haru-chan!" Nagisa called.

Haru glanced up from his phone and saw Nagisa barreling towards him.

"Your school is _huge!"_ Nagisa exclaimed. He spun around and looked at all of the buildings.

"That's just part of the city," Haru explained, his phone still in hand. It buzzed and he glanced down to look at it, replying to another text.

"Ooh, is that Mako-chan?" Nagisa asked, hovering over Haru's shoulder.

"Yeah," Haru answered. He sent the text and then pocketed his phone. "He invited me to go swimming tonight."

"Oh, swimming?! With Mako-chan?! Can I come?" Nagisa asked, his eyes sparkling. Haru hesitated at first but knew Makoto would enjoy seeing his friend again.

"Yeah. Sure," Haru said, and he started walking towards another building on campus.

"Yaay!" Nagisa said cheerfully. He rushed to catch up to Haru and fell into step with him. "So what do you like about this school, Haru-chan?" Nagisa asked.

"The pool."

Nagisa giggled and clutched his stomach. "Of course you'd say that, Haru-chan!"

Haru just blinked at him and then turned his head to look back at the path.

"Does Gou know you're here?" Haru asked suddenly.

"Yep!" Nagisa answered cheerfully.

Haru paused and then cut his eyes at Nagisa.

"What about Rei?"

"Hm?" Nagisa blinked at him, his smile frozen on his face. "W-Who, Rei-chan? O-Oh, w-well, I mean, of course!"

Haru blinked at him. "Is that so?"

"Yep!" Nagisa answered. He avoided Haru's eyes but kept his usual smile. His brows were creased tightly over his eyes.

"Nagisa," Haru called, stopping on the sidewalk. Nagisa stopped and turned to face Haru. "Are you avoiding Rei?"

"Haru-chan…" Nagisa whispered. He looked down at the ground and reached across his body to grab his arm. "I'm… I'm not."

Haru lowered his brows. "Is that so?"

"Yeah!" Nagisa said, trying for a smile. "So, the cafeteria is this way, right? I bet they have _mackerel!"_

Haru jolted forward, his mind completely focused on getting to the cafeteria as fast as possible. Nagisa followed behind with a knowing smile and he sighed in relief when Haru was not looking.

* * *

"What did you think, Rei?" Makoto asked Rei as they walked down the center of campus.

"It was wonderful! The facilities are excellent and the campus is beautiful!" Rei exclaimed. Makoto chuckled softly at his enthusiasm.

"We're glad you like it," Makoto said. Kanade nodded in agreement with a small smile on her face.

"You both have been wonderful hosts," Rei said. He gave a slight bow. "Thank you very much for taking care of me!"

"R-Rei, there's no need for that," Makoto stuttered with a nervous smile. "You're our friend! Of course we'd look out for you."

Rei straightened and smiled brightly. He was about to speak when Makoto looked at his watch and panicked.

"Oh, shoot! I'm late!" Makoto exclaimed. "Ahh, Kanade, I have to go to class, but can you show Rei the city? We'll meet up for dinner, I'll text you the address!"

Makoto started down the sidewalk towards some of the buildings. Kanade waved him off with a small smile on her face and then she turned back to looking at the ground. She sighed a little and then turned to Rei, putting on the best smile she could at the moment.

"Wanna see the city, Rei-kun?" Kanade asked.

Rei jolted a little, stunned by the sound of her voice. It was the first time she had really spoken to him that day. Her eyes were still lidded and tired, the blue not quite as bright as usual. Rei's lips twitched into an awkward smile.

"Ah, y-yes, that would be nice," Rei said. Kanade nodded and put her hands in her pockets.

"Okay, let's go," she said. She led him to the front gate with her head down.

They walked down a few blocks and Kanade pointed out several different restaurants and cafés that Rei could go to. She also pointed out the rec center where she and Makoto worked. That, at least, put a real smile on her face.

Rei gulped at that, seeing her face sadden as they pass by the rec center. So, he stopped walking.

"Ah, Kanade-san," Rei called softly. Kanade stopped and turned to face him. Her eyes locked onto his, wide and attentive. "Are… is everything all right?" he decided to ask.

Kanade jumped and her brows shot up in surprise. She was not expecting that question to be asked for the second time that day.

Was it really so obvious?

"Yeah, I'm… I'm good," she said softly. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket and she sluggishly fished it out. "Ah, Makoto texted me the address of the restaurant," she said. She put on a small smile and faced Rei. "Ready to go?" she asked.

Rei paused for a moment but then nodded. "If you're sure you're all right…" he let out as they started walking.

Kanade glanced up at him. "Mmn," she hummed. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me." Kanade bit her lip and paused, but then her lips turned into a lazy smirk. "What you _should_ be worrying about is your talk with Nagisa about this."

Rei jolted and stumbled a bit, making his glasses slide down his nose. With a shaking hand, he adjusted his glasses back to their normal place.

"I, well… yes, I understand," Rei said.

"You _are_ going to talk to him, right?" Kanade asked. "I mean… nationals is this weekend. After this… the club is done."

Rei's face scrunched up a bit with a light blush underneath his eyes. He took a deep breath and then straightened, holding his head up high.

"Yes! I will most definitely discuss this with Nagisa-kun tomorrow," Rei said proudly.

Kanade chuckled a little. He looked as stiff as a statue.

"So, you've decided then?" Kanade asked, raising a brow. Rei relaxed his shoulders and glanced down at her. He put on a fond smile and then stared at the sidewalk.

"I believe so," he said confidently. "This… this seems like a good fit for me."

Kanade smiled. A real smile.

"I'm so happy for you, Rei-kun!" she said. "It'll be a blast next year," she said, nudging his arm playfully.

Rei laughed softly, feeling Kanade's true self starting to come back. He relaxed a little as the tension started to dissipate.

"I've heard this restaurant is pretty good," Kanade said. "I'm sure you can go there with us next year when you—"

"Ah, fancy meeting _you_ here."

Kanade froze, her heart plummeting as well as her appetite. She and Rei turned around to face the sound of the voice, and her eyes widened.

Takuya stood a mere five feet away, his eyes dangerous and his mouth pulled into a sharp frown. He had a can of beer in his right hand while his left hand rested in his jeans pocket.

He tilted his head back and slammed the rest of his beer down his throat before facing Kanade and Rei. He crushed the can in his hand and threw it on the ground, the metallic sound echoing in the street.

"You're with a new guy every week," Takuya spat.

He took a step closer and Kanade recoiled, taking a step back. Rei immediately paled, feeling alarmed by Kanade's sudden retreat. He faced the man standing in front of her and he felt his hands curl into fists.

"So, you ready to talk to me, yet?" Takuya asked, glaring down at her.

Kanade gulped and put her hand to her chest. She glanced at the ground, unsure of what to do. Her mind was foggy and her voice felt clogged in her throat.

Why was he here? What's going on? What does he want?

"Hey!"

Kanade snapped her head up at the barking voice. Takuya looked ready to snap with his hands curled into tight fists. Kanade took another step back and bumped into Rei's chest.

"K-Kanade-san…" Rei whispered.

"What, he knows your first name?" Takuya spat. He shoved his hands into his pockets and clenched his fists. "Don't tell me you're dating this guy?"

Rei blinked at Takuya, bewildered by the sudden hostility. He glanced down at Kanade and his eyes widened.

She was trembling.

Rei gulped and reached out his hand. "Kanade-san, what's going on here?" Rei whispered.

He put a hand on her shoulder to try and still her shivering, but it only made her jump violently. She whipped her head up to meet his eyes and tried to regain her composure.

"Ah, it's nothing. Shall we get going, Rei?" Kanade asked, a smile on her face but her eyes wincing.

Rei blinked at her. Kanade did not say _–kun_ after his name like she normally does. Something swirled in Rei's stomach, making him feel uneasy.

Just who was this guy?

"What, leaving already?" Takuya hissed, shoving his hands further into his pockets.

"Y-Yes," Kanade stuttered. "C-C'mon, Rei. We need to meet Makoto."

Kanade abruptly turned around and started to walk in the opposite direction of Takuya. She knew a back way to get to the restaurant, and even though it was longer, she was left with no choice today.

"R-Right," Rei stammered, and he followed Kanade.

"You're just leaving?!" Takuya spat. "This is ridiculous!"

Takuya's voice became an echo in the busy streets as Kanade led Rei away with burning cheeks and a pounding heart. Her hand was pushed against her chest and her eyes were glued to the ground. Rei watched her with furrowed brows.

Something was not right.

They finally arrived at the restaurant where they had agreed to meet Makoto. Kanade leaned against the wall just outside of the doors and heaved a sigh of relief. Her lips trembled as she tried to form a smile.

"S-Sorry, Rei-kun," Kanade said.

Rei felt a little relieved himself. She had used the honorific again.

"It's… it's all right, Kanade-san," Rei said. He adjusted his glasses. "I guess… just… who was that?"

Kanade sighed. "He's… just a part of my past."

Rei pushed his brows together, her sad voice making his chest hum with worry. Her smile was obviously forced, and her usual energy was lacking. Rei remembered how happy she was to help him with his swimming technique during summer break. She was bubbly and open, the smile never wavering from her face.

Where did that girl back in Iwatobi go?

Even just a few nights ago when he had called, her spirits were high. What in the world happened between now and then?

Rei bit his lip. "K… Kanade-san, I—"

"Hey!"

Kanade and Rei both looked down the sidewalk and saw Makoto quickly approaching. He had his backpack thrown over one shoulder and his usual smile on his face. Rei watched as Kanade straightened from the wall and forced another pained smile on her face. Rei grimaced slightly at the sight.

"Hey, guys," Makoto greeted as he came up to them. "Sorry I was late. Class went over a little." He chuckled as he spoke.

"We just got here," Kanade explained, her voice still a little shaken.

"You guys ready for dinner?" Makoto asked the two of them. Kanade nodded and forced out a strained laugh.

"Yeah, I'm starving!" she said, sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck. Makoto chuckled.

"Okay! Let's go," Makoto said in response.

Makoto walked into the restaurant first and Kanade and Rei followed behind. Rei turned his gaze down towards her, his eyebrows arched anxiously. Her eyes were glued to the floor again, shiny and dazed. Rei pursed his lips and his fist tightened at his side. He watched as Makoto talked to the hostess at the front. He took a deep breath and faced Kanade.

"Kanade-san, maybe we should mention what happened to Makoto-senpai," Rei suggested.

With those words, Kanade's head snapped to attention as her wide, blue eyes locked onto him. A wave of worry washed over her as her complexion turned pale with a hint of green.

"No, no, no," Kanade said, shaking her head. She waved her hand in front of her frantically. "We can't tell him."

Rei jumped and faced her, his jaw dropping. "What?!"

"Shhh!" Kanade shushed, waving her hand. She pointed to Makoto, who was still talking to the hostess about seating. Rei followed her finger and then glanced back down at her.

"But, Kanade-san, don't you think you should—"

"No way!" Kanade said in a loud whisper. She looked at the ground and clutched her arm. "I don't… I don't want him to freak out."

"But—"

"Please, Rei-kun?" Kanade begged. She clapped her hands together and bowed her head a little. "Please?"

Rei stared down at her for a moment, feeling his gut twist with the internal battle that was raging inside of him. Once her lip started to tremble, he sighed in defeat.

"All right," Rei said breathily. "I won't say anything. But… Kanade-san?" Rei called. Kanade turned to face him, her eyes heavy and tired. "I… I do believe it would be best to… to get help. That man, he… he seemed dangerous."

Kanade's heart fluttered and then tightened. A small smile formed on her lips and she felt her vision blur slightly as tears formed. She reached out her hand and patted his arm lightly.

"Thank you, Rei-kun," she said. "I'll be all right."

Rei's eyes widened and a small blush formed on his cheeks at her touch. He opened his mouth to speak but she passed by him and walked to Makoto. Rei's brows creased as he followed.

* * *

"Thank you very much for today," Rei said.

They were standing in front of the rec center and were about to head inside when Rei stopped them.

"I… I will definitely pay you back for dinner, Kanade-san," Rei said, bowing to her.

Kanade giggled and patted his shoulder.

"There's no need for that, Rei-kun," she said. Rei lifted his head to meet her eyes. "Really, it's my treat," she added.

Rei straightened and his face turned serious. "You've already done so much for me today! I couldn't possibly allow you to do that!"

"Rei, calm down," Makoto said with a chuckle. "It's fine. We're just happy to help. Now, did you want to see the pool?"

Rei blinked at him. "Oh, right. You two work here?" he asked.

Makoto nodded happily. "Kanade got me a job here." He gave Kanade a quick, warm glance that melted her heart. "You can even swim if you want. I invited Haru over to swim for a bit anyway."

Kanade snapped out of her daze and jolted at hearing Haru's name.

"W-Wait, Nanase-kun is coming?" Kanade asked quickly. There was urgency in her voice.

Makoto turned to her and smiled, not recognizing the fear in her eyes.

"Yeah! He should be here any minute," Makoto responded.

Kanade's eyes widened.

"Oh, no…"

Makoto cocked his head and his smile fell. "Kanade? What's—"

"EH?! Rei-chan?!"

The three of them whirled around and were met by Nagisa and Haru. Both of them had wide eyes.

Rei blinked a few times before his eyes widened as well.

"N-Nagisa-kun?!"


	37. Chapter 37

Emotional roller coaster...

* * *

Chapter 37

* * *

"EH?! Rei-chan?!" Nagisa shouted.

Haru cocked his head. "Rei?" he said softly.

Kanade groaned and smacked her palm to her forehead.

"Nagisa?" Makoto whispered, also cocking his head.

"N-Nagisa-kun?!" Rei jolted. "What… what are you doing here?!" he asked.

"Me? What are _you_ doing here?!" Nagisa shouted, pointing at him.

"I, well, I was…" Rei stuttered.

Nagisa then turned and glanced at Kanade who still had a palm covering her eyes. He pointed at her next.

"Did you know Rei-chan was coming here?!" Nagisa asked. Kanade's hand dropped from her eyes and she cowered slightly.

"Ah, well…" she stuttered.

"Eh? Kanade-san, did you know Nagisa would be coming to Tokyo today?" Rei asked.

Kanade grimaced and took a step back. "Yes, well, that's just—"

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Nagisa asked, his face pouting.

"Nagisa-kun, it wasn't something I was trying to hide, I just—"

"So you knew and you didn't even think to warn me about this?" Rei interrupted.

Kanade winced and looked up at him. "Rei-kun, I—"

"Kanade, what's going?" Makoto whispered to her.

"Makoto, I—"

"Enough."

The four of them stopped and turned to Haru, who had an annoyed look on his face.

"You two need to work this out," Haru said, looking at Nagisa and Rei.

"B-But, Haru-chan—"

"No 'but's,'" Haru said firmly. He walked past the two of them and looked at Makoto and Kanade. "Let's swim."

"Eh? Now?!" Makoto fussed, watching Haru walk through the front doors of the rec center. "Haru, wait!" he said, running after him.

"Ah, Makoto!"

Kanade called out to him, taking a step to follow. But she froze in place when Makoto disappeared through the doors. She winced again, hearing someone clear their throat behind her, and she turned around and saw Nagisa and Rei eyeing each other nervously.

"Nagisa-kun, Rei-kun, I…" she started. She took a deep breath and sighed heavily through her nose. "Listen… I'm sorry that I didn't tell you guys about each other. I… I wanted to, but…" She paused to look at them both, her face turning firm and serious. "You guys _really_ need to talk to each other."

Rei and Nagisa glanced at each other before turning back to her with nervous looks on their faces. They both opened their mouths to speak.

"But—"

"No 'but's!" Kanade said, echoing Haru. They both shut their mouths in a flash and stared at her. "This isn't something I can fix," she said sadly.

"Kanade-san…" Rei breathed.

"Kana-chan," Nagisa whimpered out.

"Talk to each other. Please," Kanade begged, giving them one last look before turning on her heel and disappearing in the alleyway next to the rec center.

Rei and Nagisa were left standing in street, the sky bleeding different shades of blue and orange as the sun started to hide below the horizon. They hesitated for a few moments, looking at anything they could to delay the topic at hand.

Once the silence became too much, Rei and Nagisa turned toward each other and opened their mouths.

"Rei-chan—" "Nagisa-kun, I—"

They stopped when they realized that they had spoken at the same time and they looked away from each other awkwardly. There was another moment of heavy silence before they both turned to each other to try again.

"Nagisa-kun, I need to tell you something," Rei said.

"I do, too!" Nagisa said, his voice frantic.

"It's something that has been on my mind for a while and it has been agonizing not to tell you."

"Oh! Me too, Rei-chan!" Nagisa said, his eyes wide. "I've been keeping it from you because… I'm scared of what Rei-chan will think," he said sadly.

"That! That's preposterous!" Rei said, his voice raising. "I would never think badly of you, Nagisa-kun!"

"R-Really?!" Nagisa asked, his voice louder.

"Of course not!" Rei said. "I was more worried about _you_ thinking poorly of _me_."

"Eh?!" Nagisa yelled in surprise. "Rei-chan! I would never!"

Rei blinked at him in surprise as well, his glasses slipping down his nose. He cleared his throat and adjusted them.

"I suppose we both falsely assumed things about each other," Rei said.

"Mmn," Nagisa hummed. "Okay, so what is it that you wanted to tell me?" he asked.

"W-Well, what if you go first?" Rei asked.

"No, you!"

"M-Me?!"

"Yeah, of course! You always know what to do, Rei-chan!"

Rei put his head in his palm and groaned.

"All right. Let's just say it at the same then," he suggested as he straightened and put his hands on his hips. Nagisa pumped his fists and nodded enthusiastically. "All right. On Three. One…"

"Two," Nagisa continued.

They both took a deep breath.

" **I'm going to a university in Tokyo!** " they both yelled simultaneously.

They both jumped and looked at each other with wide eyes and dropped jaws.

"You… you're going to a college in Tokyo?" Rei asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Y-Yeah, I'm going to Haru-chan's school," Nagisa said slowly.

"Haruka-senpai's school?" Rei echoed. "I… I'm going Kanade-san and Makoto-senpai's school!"

"S-Seriously?!" Nagisa yelled. His magenta eyes looked as if they would pop out of his head. "Rei-chan, do you know what this means?!"

"W-We… we'll only be ten minutes away from each other," Rei said, realization hitting him like a warm wave.

For the first time in weeks, Nagisa's face beamed so brightly that Rei thought he would be blinded.

"Rei-chan!" Nagisa yelled and he rushed forward and buried his face in Rei's chest.

"N-Nagisa-kun!" Rei whined. Despite the annoyance in his voice, Rei still put his arms around Nagisa's shoulders.

"This is awesome, Rei-chan!" Nagisa laughed, his voice muffled by Rei's shirt. Rei smiled at his bubbly laughter.

"Ah, y-yes, this is such exciting news!" Rei said happily. "When did you make this decision?" Rei asked.

"Ah, a few weeks after I saw the guidance counselor, I guess," Nagisa said softly. He squeezed Rei's waist in his arms and hid his face. "I'm sorry, Rei-chan," he apologized suddenly.

Rei's brows arched gently. "For what?" he asked.

"Keeping it from you," Nagisa said. "I… I wanted to tell you, but… I didn't know how. I was worried that if I told you, you would… be upset with me."

Rei rested his hands on Nagisa's shoulders and carefully pulled him off of his waist. He was met with wet and worried magenta eyes. Rei smiled fondly down at him, trying to sooth him when the tears started to fall.

"What are you saying?" Rei asked gently. "There's no way I could ever be upset with you, Nagisa-kun. Besides," Rei said, his smile faltering a little. "I'm at fault, too. I apologize."

Nagisa blinked up at him, feeling his tears slide down his cheeks.

"That's no fair, Rei-chan! Don't apologize!" he whined, wiping off his eyes.

"W-Well, you don't apologize either!" Rei said, taking off his glasses and wiping off his own eyes.

"Are you crying, Rei-chan?!"

"N-No, of course not! That would _not_ be beautiful at _all!_ "

* * *

"They've been out there a long time," Makoto mumbled.

Makoto was not given time to change to swim, so he just rolled up his pants and sat on the edge of the pool. He swished his foot around in the pool and watched Haru swim down the lane in a relaxed front-crawl. Haru touched the wall and then lifted his head back for air, panting only a little. He turned his gaze to Makoto, who was staring into the water vacantly.

Haru's brow twitched.

"So, what happened today?" Haru asked as he climbed out of the pool. Makoto jolted and stared up at him, his smile twitching.

"Ah, well, we gave Rei a tour of our campus. He really seemed to like it! He was impressed with the facilities and—"

"That's not what I meant," Haru interrupted. Makoto shut his mouth and looked down at his hands that were resting in his lap. He heard Haru pad over to him and sit down next to him. "You haven't talked about Shizumi all day."

"EH?!" Makoto's face flushed and he snapped his head to stare at Haru.

"You usually bring her up when we text," Haru said. He pursed his lips. "And you seemed upset," he added.

"Haru…" Makoto whispered. His eyes narrowed and he stared down at his hands in his lap once again. "I think I might've messed up."

Haru rolled his eyes and leaned down to dip his hand into the water.

"You probably didn't mess up," Haru replied. Makoto looked over at Haru's reflection in the pool, watching as Haru's hand distorted it. "What happened?"

Makoto sighed. "Well, a few days ago, I… we… we sort of held hands?" Makoto said, the end of his sentence rising in a question. Haru raised a brow.

"Sort of?" Haru repeated.

"Yeah, during class one day," Makoto responded. "And well, after that, she's been… distant. I think I... maybe... I messed up."

Haru blinked at his best friend, seeing the distress in his eyes. There was a stubborn blush on his cheeks as he spoke and he avoided Haru's eyes.

"Sorry, I know this probably isn't anything to get worked up over," Makoto said with a pathetic chuckle. "I know it's not that important."

"Don't say that," Haru said immediately. Makoto glanced at him with arched eyebrows. "If it's important to you, then it's important to me."

Makoto's eyes widened. "Haru…"

"So she's been distant then?" Haru asked. After a jarring moment, Makoto nodded. "Have you actually talked to her about it?"

Makoto gripped his knees and his foot stilled in the water. "No, not really. I mean, I've tried to talk to her but she just says she's fine."

Haru deadpanned. "Sounds like you."

"Eh?!" Makoto said. "What do you mean?"

"You do the same thing," Haru explained. "You bottle up everything and you hide everything just to make others happy."

Haru remembered junior high and when Makoto suddenly started to act differently. It pained Haru to see him try to change himself and try to be someone he clearly was not.

Haru squinted hard at the water and ran his fingertips along the surface.

"It was… just like in junior high," Haru said. He saw Makoto jump out of the corner of his eye. "You let it consume you for a long time."

Makoto's brows pushed together and his hands clasped together in his lap. That conversation on the steps…

 _"Makoto."_

 _"What is it, Haru?"_

 _"What happened?"_

 _"…Nothing."_

 _"Don't lie!"_

 _"…it's true!"_

 _"…Makoto."_

 _"Really! Nothing happened. See you tomorrow, Haru!"_

Those times were painful memories in Makoto's mind. He regretted lying to Haru so many times back then. His clasped hands squeezed together uncomfortably. He body felt heavy enough to sink through the concrete.

"Sorry," Makoto said sadly. He said it as if he was apologizing for the past, as well.

"Dummy," Haru said, splashing some water on Makoto. Makoto sputtered and shook the water from his hair. Haru watched his face relax from his self-deprecating gaze. "I already said it was fine."

Makoto blinked at him and then rubbed the back of his neck with a sweet smile. "Right," he chuckled.

"It sounds like you need to talk to her before she lets it consume her, whatever it is," Haru said. He slipped back into the pool, splashing some water on Makoto again.

"So, I'm just supposed to go and tell her I know that something's wrong?" Makoto asked. He flailed his hands nervously, inferring that Haru's idea was risky. Haru deadpanned again and lifted his chin out of the water.

"It worked for you, didn't it?" Haru said.

Makoto's eyes widened.

 _"You're Makoto!"_

He remembered Haru confronting him that one night, snapping him to his senses and realizing his true self. Makoto stared vacantly at the water, the memory burned in his brain as it replayed over and over like a broken record.

"So maybe…" Haru started, making Makoto jolt and look his best friend in the eye. "Maybe confronting her directly… won't be a bad thing."

Makoto's eyes widened again and he watched his friend swim down the lane again. He stood to his feet, wanting to chase after Haru. But, he stopped short, his hand floating in the air.

"Haru…" he whispered. A small smile pulled on his lips as he rested his hand by his side. He shook his head fondly, making a mental note to thank Haru later.

"Oh, here they are!"

Makoto whipped his head up and saw Nagisa and Rei poking their heads inside the door of the pool. Once Nagisa made eye contact with Makoto, he rushed inside and barreled towards Makoto.

"Ah, Mako-chaaaan!"

"N-Nagisa-kun, don't run!" Rei called.

Nagisa crashed into Makoto hard and clung on.

"N-N-Nagisa! Wait, I'm going to—"

 _SPLASH!_

* * *

Kanade was lying on her bed with her hands cradling her head. She had the lights off and she stared up at the dark ceiling, her thoughts spinning around her mind. Her heart was heavy with guilt.

 _What a mess…_ she thought.

Kanade took one arm out from under her head and draped it over her eyes.

 _I should have thought things through. Maybe if I had spoken to Rei about Nagisa coming then maybe…_

Suddenly, Kanade could hear the front door of the apartment open. It closed in a hurry, and then—

"UWAH!"

—a loud thud.

Kanade shot up from her bed and rushed out of her room. She threw open her door and rushed to the front door. Her eyes widened when she saw a drenched Makoto sitting in a puddle on the floor. He was rubbing his hip and whimpering "ow" softly.

"Makoto!" Kanade said. She rushed to his side and grabbed his arm. "Are you all right?"

Makoto chuckled lightly as Kanade helped him to his feet. Water dripped from his hair and his clothes stuck to his body.

"I-I'm fine," Makoto said shakily. He stood on his feet and hung on to the counter while Kanade rushed to grab a small towel from a cabinet. She reached up on her tiptoes and gently started to rub the towel through his hair. "Nagisa accidentally pushed me into the pool," he explained.

Kanade stared up at his smile and her eyes widened.

"They're fine now, Kanade," Makoto said with his signature head-tilt. Kanade felt her face heat up. "They're actually all swimming down there now. You… you should come join."

Kanade set the towel down on his neck and took a step back. "They're… they're okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, they talked to each other. They're better than okay, actually," Makoto said. He grabbed the towel and dabbed his face and wiped off his hands.

"Oh. I see," Kanade said. She turned and leaned her back against the counter and stared up at the ceiling. She put her hands in her pockets and her lips pulled into a small frown. "Maybe I'll pass…" she mumbled.

Makoto stared at her, his heart clenching horribly in his chest.

"Kanade…" Makoto whispered. "What's… what's going on? You were all excited about trying out for the national team just a few days ago, but now… you seem distracted or… that you've given up."

Kanade hung her head and now stared at the ground. She huffed out a tired sigh and just shrugged.

Makoto winced and shifted his weight on his feet, starting to feel the air thicken as the silence lingered.

 _"You do the same thing… you hide everything just to make others happy."_

Makoto gasped quietly.

 _"Maybe confronting her directly… won't be a bad thing."_

He walked over to her with an outstretched hand and carefully rested it on her shoulder. Strands of black hair tickled the back of his hand. She tilted her head to look up at him, her blue eyes wide and her lips parted.

"Kanade, I… I want to help you," Makoto said. "I… I know something is wrong."

Kanade gasped quietly and jumped. Makoto's hand only gripped her shoulder tighter even though his arm was shaking with nerves. He held himself together long enough for Kanade to lose her own composure. Her lip started to tremble and her eyes filled with glistening tears. Makoto's eyes widened at the sight and panic pushed his heart into his throat.

"Makoto, I…" she whimpered.

A few tears fell down her cheeks and Makoto quickly lifted his hands to cup her cheeks. His thumbs gently and shakily wiped the tears from her face. It reminded him of when Ran or Ren would cry, which made his heart hurt worse.

"What happened?" Makoto asked softly. Kanade sniffed and hiccupped, shutting her eyes tight. More tears spilled from the corners of her eyes, but Makoto's thumbs were already brushing them away.

"F-Fukui-san… he told me that I…" Kanade took a deep breath to ease her hiccups. She started to wheeze with every breath and Makoto's eyes squinted at the sound.

"Take a deep breath," Makoto said softly. His gaze was gentle and calm, oozing patience that only he could muster. He wiped her cheeks again while she took a slow breath.

"Fukui-san told me that my last doctor's visit wasn't as good as I thought," Kanade started. Makoto's brows pushed together nervously as he listened to her words. Alarm immediately shot through his chest and sent his heart into overdrive. "The doctor said that I… I need to slow down."

"What about your pacemaker?" Makoto asked, brushing away another tear.

"He said my pacemaker isn't helping," Kanade whimpered. "Fukui… he… he told me that I…" More tears fell from her eyes as she tried to get the next sentence out. "He said I should look at other career paths."

Makoto's eyes widened for a moment and then narrowed painfully. He reached up a hand and held the back of her head. He gently pulled her to his chest and wrapped his other arm around her shaking shoulders. Kanade did not care how soaked Makoto was. She clung onto him for dear life.

"I… I don't want to give up my dream!" Kanade sobbed. Makoto winced and held her tighter. "I just don't want it to be over…"

" _Kanade_ ," Makoto said softly, his voice searching. He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her back to look at her face. "Nothing is set in stone, yet, right?" he asked. "The doctor didn't tell _you_ to stop, right?"

Kanade blinked at him and then shook her head.

"Then don't jump to conclusions," Makoto said. "I want you to be safe, but… I also want you to follow your dream."

Kanade's wide eyes shimmered and her heart jolted inside of her chest.

"We should make another appointment to see if there's anything different we can do," Makoto said. "What do you think of that idea?"

Kanade whimpered at his suggestion and then nodded, spilling more tears. Makoto only smiled fondly at her and then held her close. She cried softly into his chest as he gently ran his fingers through her hair.

"Kanade…" he whispered, trying to soothe her sobs. He patted her head and tried to think of ways to calm her.

Then, an idea came to his mind.

Makoto placed his hands on Kanade's shoulders and pushed her back to look at her eyes. She looked up at him with watery eyes and he smiled gently.

"I think I know how to cheer you up."

* * *

Makoto was dressed in his tracksuit with his jammers on underneath. He led Kanade down the stairwell and through the doors of the rec center.

"What are you guys doing, Makoto?" Kanade asked as they headed towards the pool. Makoto smirked at her knowingly.

"You'll see!" he said. Kanade cocked her head at him and raised a curious brow.

They walked to the double doors that led to the pool, already hearing voices from inside.

"You guys ready?"

"We're still waiting for Makoto-senpai."

"This is so exciting! I can't believe we're doing this!"

"Nagisa-kun, don't shout!"

"Aw, Rei-chan, c'mon! Have a little fun!"

"N-Nagisa-kun!"

Kanade gave Makoto a confused look, but he just shrugged and opened the door. They walked through and Kanade peered down towards the starting blocks of the pool. Haru, Nagisa, and Rei were all standing near the starting blocks with their jammers on as well as their goggles and swim caps. Nagisa had his arms wrapped around Rei, and Rei was trying to push him off.

As soon as the door shut behind them, the sound echoed, making the three turn their heads towards Makoto and Kanade.

"Kana-chan!" Nagisa yelled. He immediately let go of Rei and rushed over to Kanade. He skidded to a stop in front of her and clapped his hands in front of his body while bowing his head slightly. "We're _sooo_ sorry, Kana-chan!"

Kanade jumped. "S-Sorry? W-What? There's nothing for you to be sorry for!" she said, waving her hands in front of her.

Nagisa stayed in his bowed position but lifted his head a little to give a pitiful look. "We were really rude and really mean."

"Oh, no, you didn't—"

"We should not have made you so upset Kanade-san," Rei said, walking up behind Nagisa.

"Rei-kun, it wasn't a big deal, really, you—"

He bowed deeply to Kanade and she flushed and waved her hands more. "We apologize for our actions!"

Kanade put her hands on their shoulders, making them both lift their heads to look at her.

"Seriously, guys, it's _fine_! Now, please, _please_ , stop apologizing!" she said.

Rei and Nagisa blinked for a moment and then smiled, straightening.

"Are we ready to do this now?"

Everyone turned and faced Haru, who was itching to get into the pool. Nagisa and Rei exchanged determined smiles and they hurried back over to the starting block. Kanade stayed put, watching them all gather around one lane. Makoto started to pass by her, unzipping his jacket along the way.

"Makoto, what's…"

Makoto stopped and turned to face her, his signature smile brightening up the room.

"Could you give us the signal?" Makoto asked.

Kanade's eyes widened.

 **They were going to do a relay.**

…

The four of them stood in a line at one lane, each stretching their arms. They all had their swim caps on with their goggles resting on top of them.

Kanade stood on the side with a whistle in her hand. She lifted the whistle to her lips and blew it, signaling the first swimmer to get into the pool. She watched Makoto hop into the lane and grab onto the bars on the starting block. His face was so focused and concentrated that Kanade almost lost herself.

She quickly regained her composure and straightened.

"Ready!" She shouted. She saw Makoto tense up as he pulled himself closer to the block.

Then, she blew the whistle, and in a flash, Makoto hurled himself backwards off of the block. Kanade's eyes widened at the sight as time seemed to slow down.

Makoto's back arched as he dove backwards into the water and then started his dolphin kick. Once he reached the surface, he started his backstroke. It was strong and powerful, his arms pounding into the water as he pushed down the lane.

Water droplets splashed into the air and the lights from above reflected off of them, making them shimmer and sparkle around Makoto's body. Kanade felt her chest flutter, realizing she was witnessing the relay team that went to nationals.

"Mako-chan!"

"Makoto-senpai!"

Kanade turned her head and saw the rest of his team cheering. Even Haru said his name a few times, his hands cupped around his mouth.

Makoto could feel the water around his face as he pushed and he saw the markers overhead. He could almost see it; the sky, the clouds, the sunshine… everything that represented the ultimate team.

"Makoto!"

Ah.

And there it was. Crystal clear and bright – the blue sky.

 _"The sight I saw back then…"_

In a flash, Makoto made the turn at the far end of the pool, and Nagisa stepped up onto the starting block. He lowered his goggles over his eyes, and his usual bubbly demeanor changed. His lips pulled into a focused line as he carefully watched for Makoto's return.

Makoto's hand touched the wall and he reared back and shouted, "Nagisa!"

Nagisa dove off the starting block and over Makoto's head, landing in the water perfectly. He reached his arms forward and surfaced, starting his breaststroke. His arms extended in front of him and he came up in little pants as he surfaced to swallow air.

"Nagisa!"

"Nagisa-kun!"

Nagisa felt his chest bubble with excitement at hearing his name being called by his precious teammates. The relay from last year…

He surged forward and did the turn at the wall, clambering back to the start.

Kanade watched in amazement, her eyes glued to his small boy as he made his way back to the start. His arms tensed as they pushed in front of him, giving the illusion of an elongated torso.

Kanade saw movement out of the corner of her eye and saw that Rei had now stepped up onto the block. He lowered his goggles over his eyes and squinted as he concentrated on the shimmering water below. He took a slow breath, and Nagisa appeared before his eyes.

Nagisa's pale hands touched the wall and he shouted a determined, "Rei-chan!"

Rei dove from the platform and into the water, surfacing quickly to start his butterfly.

Kanade felt her heart jump.

His butterfly was perfect.

Rei swam quickly to the far well and did his turn. He remembered how it felt last year to swim in the relay with them; the warmth that spread to his chest, the butterflies fluttering in his stomach…

"Rei-chan!"

"Rei!"

Rei shut his eyes for a moment to take it all in before he headed towards the starting block. Water splashed as he surfaced to take in heaving breaths.

Kanade saw more movement out of the corner of her eye and she turned her head sharply towards the starting block. Haru stood on the block now, his hands grabbing the edge with his face stern and focused. Rei inched closer with each stroke.

Then, Rei finally hit the hall and reared his head back.

"Haruka-senpai!"

Haru dove over Rei. Rei's eyes widened and sparkled in amazement at Haru's form.

Kanade felt her own chest flutter at his dive, watching as he hit the water and then quickly started his front-crawl.

It was the form of a true professional.

Haru pushed forward, his hands carving out a path in the water. Something inside of him felt different as he pounded through the water. His chest ached with each stroke and it felt that his heart would burst. What was so different?

Haru took another stroke and took another breath and neared the wall. He had done so many meets and drills already this year, so why was this race any different?

Haru's eyes widened.

That's when it hit him.

He has not done the relay since nationals last year.

Haru felt his chest swell with nostalgia and he surged forward and made his turn.

"Haru!"

"Haru-chan!"

"Haruka-senpai!"

Haru swam furiously down the lane as if his life depended on it, his speed blowing past his previous records.

Kanade watched him as he reached the middle of the lane, and she felt chills run through her body. He was truly incredible.

He was truly incredible.

Haru heard his name being cheered, which only forced him to go faster and faster.

Then, his hand hit the wall and he reared his head back to gasp for a breath. He pulled off his goggles and swim cap and tried to get the ringing out of his ears. For a moment, Haru could almost hear a crowd cheering…

"Haru!"

Haru turned his head up and felt his chest constrict.

The three of them were all there waiting for him: his precious teammates, his friends, his ultimate team. They all wore teary-eyed smiles with red cheeks. Makoto's hand was extended down towards him and Haru gently took it.

As soon as Haru touched Makoto's hand, memories of the final relay a year ago flooded back to him in a rush.

 _The sights that they would never forget…_

 _The crowd cheering their names…_

 _The three of them waiting for him..._

 _The tears as they hugged and laughed and cried…_

 _The ultimate team._

Once he was out of the pool, Haru was bombarded with tight hugs. The tears came to everyone's eyes once again. Nagisa and Makoto laughed and cried while Rei became a blubbering mess. And once again, Haru stared at the three of them with tears of his own blurring his vision. A smile tugged at his lips as he let out a small laugh.

From the other side of the pool, Kanade stared at them in astonishment. Her chest felt on fire, feeling as if she had witnessed something sacred.

Then, she made eye contact with Makoto as he peeked over Haru's shoulder. The corners of his eyes had reddened but he wore a smile that could brighten up the darkest places on earth. He raised a hand to wave to her and he tilted his head in his signature smile.

Kanade felt as if her chest would explode. She raised a hand to grab a fistful of her shirt. These four… had definitely shown her a sight she had never seen before.

 _Swimming isn't just about winning or losing…_ Kanade thought. _No, it's… it's much more than that._

She glanced up at the four of them again.

And she felt herself smile.

* * *

"That was SO incredible!" Nagisa shouted as he practically leaped into the air next to Rei.

Rei's smile was so wide that his cheeks had begun to hurt.

"It was quite the experience! It was inspirational!" Rei shouted. "Haruka-senpai's swimming is just as beautiful as always!"

"Oh, and don't forget Mako-chan!" Nagisa added as he pointed a finger. "It was so powerful and strong! He hasn't lost his touch at all!"

"You're absolutely right, Nagisa-kun," Rei agreed.

Nagisa curled his hands into fists and then jumped into the air.

"I'm so ready for nationals now!" he shouted. "Rei-chan! I think we can do it!"

Rei glanced down at the boy next to him and he gave a determined nod.

"Definitely, Nagisa-kun," Rei said.

They walked a few paces in silence as they headed towards their hotel where they would meet up with the rest of their team. They passed by several busy restaurants and crowded shops.

Rei noticed a particular restaurant they went to last year and remembered how he had embarrassingly messed up his order. He remembered Haru and Makoto both laughing…

Rei bit his lip.

He turned his head down to look at Nagisa. He was still smiling brightly and sauntering down the street in a lively stride. Rei could see the hotel up ahead. Once they enter the hotel, they'll have to entertain the others. There will be no other chances.

Rei stopped.

"This is our last year doing this," Rei said suddenly.

Nagisa stopped as well and turned back to face Rei. His magenta eyes were wide and searching. He blinked at Rei a few times and processed his statement. Then, he smiled sadly and glanced at the ground.

"Mmn," Nagisa hummed.

Rei's eyes squinted. He had no more tears to spill, but he felt that he could start crying at any moment.

"It'll be fine, though," Nagisa added.

Rei jolted and whipped his head up to look at Nagisa, who wore a nostalgic smile. Rei blinked at him in disbelief. He grit his teeth and sighed, hanging his head again.

"But… I finally seemed to have mastered the butterfly stroke and now…" Rei took off his glasses and wiped his eyes—a familiar scene from last year.

Nagisa stared up at him, feeling tears prick at his own eyes.

"But, Rei-chan…" Nagisa started, wiping his eyes. "Don't you remember w-what Haru-chan told us?"

Rei blinked away a few tears and stared down at his blond friend, trying to jog his memory.

 _"Swimming the relay together connected us. So even if we end up walking different paths, we'll always be connected to each other."_

"We're… we're connected…" Rei whispered.

Nagisa sniffled and put on a smile, his eyes still red and raw.

"I mean… we never thought we'd be able to swim with Mako-chan and Haru-chan again, and look what happened!" Nagisa said, opening up his arms.

Rei's tears instantly stopped at Nagisa's words. The relay today…

Rei smiled and nodded at Nagisa. He wiped away the remaining tears and put his glasses back on his face.

"You're right, Nagisa-kun," Rei said.

Nagisa smiled up at him, his own tears starting to fade. "Now, let's go to our rooms before Gou-chan—"

"Heeey!"

Nagisa and Rei whirled around. They were met with a red ponytail and an accusing look.

"There you two are!" Gou fussed with her hands on her hips. "Where have you guys been?!"

Nagisa and Rei glanced at each other and smiled brightly. They turned back to Gou and Nagisa beamed.

"Nowhere, Gou-chan!"

* * *

"Whoa!"

The first-years' jaws dropped in amazement at the size of the stadium. The stands were already crowded and there was a section full of Iwatobi students, ready to cheer on their relay team.

"This is just like last year!" Nagisa said with a happy chirp.

"Whoa, it was _this_ crowded?!" one of the first-years asked.

"That's right!" Nagisa said.

Dai glanced around the stadium, remembering that his parents had agreed to come. His eyes scanned the crowds, but there were no familiar faces in sight. He felt his shoulders droop with disappointment.

"Right, Dai?"

Dai jerked and snapped his head to attention, staring at his fellow first-year. He blinked at the backstroke swimmer, realizing he missed something.

"Huh?" Dai mumbled.

"Spacing out already? Seriously, Dai! Pay attention!" the backstroke swimmer said, nudging him.

"Y-Yeah…" Dai mumbled back.

"Okay, okay, you guys," Gou called. Amakata-sensei and Goro were both standing next to her, and she grabbed the whole team's attention. "This is the last race of the season. And… for some of us… this is our last race in high school."

Gou put on a sad smile, and the first-years faces' dropped. Hearing those words was like being hit by a truck. Gou tried to shake off the emotions and she put on a stern look.

"So make it count. Got it?!" she shouted, her voice quivering a little.

The first-years stood at attention, all shouting a loud "Yes!" Gou smiled at that and wiped her eyes. Rei and Nagisa stepped forward to her in an attempt to cheer her up.

Gou smiled at that and wiped her eyes. Rei and Nagisa stepped forward to her in an attempt to cheer her up.

"Gou-chan?" Nagisa muttered.

"Gou-san…" Rei whispered. "Are you—"

Suddenly, Gou lunged forward and threw her arms around their necks, pulling them close in a hug. Tears were gliding down her cheeks and she hung her head to hide her face.

"Gou-san!" Rei said.

"Gou-chan…" Nagisa whimpered.

She lifted her head and gave them a shaking smile as more tears fell down her cheeks. The first-years stared at her in awe and worry, at a loss of what to do.

"Go out there and swim your best!" Gou said.

Rei and Nagisa, with tears in their eyes, both nodded with determined smiles on their faces. The three hugged each other in a tight squeeze one last time before separating. Gou sniffled and wiped her eyes before pointing a finger at them.

"Now hurry up and go change!" she commanded. The team all smiled at each other before turning to head towards the locker room.

Dai glanced around one last time before he turned around to follow his teammates. His shoulders sagged and he hung his head.

 _They didn't show up after all…_ Dai thought. _Just forget it. Just move on. Swim for them. Swim for him. Swim for—_

" **Nii-san!** "

Dai stopped in his tracks and whirled around. He grunted when a small body collided into his, and when he looked down, his eyes widened.

"R-Ryu…?" Dai whispered.

Ryu lifted his head from Dai's chest, his eyes glistening with tears. Dai felt his heart drop.

"Nii-san… I'm sorry," he whimpered out. He buried his face into Dai's chest and squeezed him.

"Ryu…" Dai repeated. He put his hands on Ryu's shoulders and squeezed.

"I'm so, so sorry," Ryu repeated.

Dai felt as if he'd been kicked in the stomach. He leaned down and embraced Ryu, feeling his own tears springing to his eyes.

"I'm sorry, too," Dai choked.

Ryu sniffled and separated himself from Dai. He wiped his eyes and then stared up at his older brother. Ryu felt his face flush in

Then, Ryu felt his face flush in embarrassment and he ran back a few steps. He stopped and turned around to point a finger at him. His cheeks were still red and his lips were pulled into a pout.

"Y-You better do well!" Ryu yelled.

Dai, still dumbstruck by his brother's actions, only blinked for a moment. After processing his words, he smiled and lifted up his hand to give him a thumbs-up. Ryu's face softened and he smiled back, raising his own hand to give a thumbs-up.

"Dai, let's go!"

Dai turned his head to look at the locker room and then gave his brother a wave before disappearing behind the doors.

* * *

The four of them walked down the darkened tunnel towards the pool.

"This is it," the backstroke swimmer said.

"We can do this," Dai added.

"I wonder if we'll see a sight like last year," Rei said.

"We will," Nagisa said, his voice determined. "Let's go!"

They emerged out of the tunnel and were met by loud cheers from the full stands. The four of them immediately smiled, each feeling the bubbling excitement swell within them.

Nagisa and Rei glanced up at the stands and saw Gou sitting with Amakata-sensei as well as Goro. Up one row sat Makoto, Kanade, and Haru. Nagisa and Rei both smiled brightly and waved at them.

Dai glanced up at the stands as well and saw his family. The three of them were sitting together, all with smiles on their faces.

Even Ryu had a small smile on his face.

After a minute or two of stretching, a voice came on the intercom announcing the relay. The team quickly assembled by their designated lane.

"Take your marks," came the announcer over the intercom.

The backstroke swimmer jumped into the pool and then grabbed the bars at the starting block. He took a deep breath.

"Ready."

He pulled himself towards the block and listened intently.

Then, the buzzer sounded.

"GO!"

He hurled himself from the block and started his backstroke, his arms pounding into the water. Water splashed up as he kept going towards the far wall. Nagisa and Rei's eyes shined.

Nagisa and Rei's eyes shined.

He reminded them of Makoto.

He made the turn perfectly and headed back towards the start, and Nagisa stepped onto the block. He took a deep breath and lowered himself down and grabbed the edge of the block. He watched and listened carefully. He could see the first-year coming out of his peripherals and could hear his splashing.

Just as he was about to touch the wall, Nagisa felt his heart skip a beat.

 _Mako-chan?_

The first-year touched the wall…

" **Nagisa-senpai**!"

…and Nagisa leaped from the block and dove in, climbing to the surface and starting his breaststroke. He hurried down the lane, feeling his arms extend in front of him.

 _"It's okay to not know."_

 _"Just keep working hard…"_

Nagisa felt his heart jump.

 _"We're all connected."_

Nagisa felt his lips pull into a smile.

He made the turn at the far end and started to swim back.

"Nagisa-kun!"

Nagisa heard his name being called from the starting block. He smiled again. It was Rei's voice.

It was Rei's voice.

 _"I'm going to a university in Tokyo!"_

Nagisa pushed forward and extended his arm, touching the block…

 _Was that a butterfly in the water just now?_

" **Rei-chan**!"

…and Rei dove from the starting block and into the pool. He climbed to the surface and started his butterfly stroke.

 _"Does your shoulder hurt?"_

 _"The angle of your arms is too narrow."_

Rei adjusted accordingly, his shoulder feeling loose and flexible. He smiled to himself, feeling confidence wash over him like a wave.

 _"So even if we end up walking different path…"_

Rei felt his heart clench as he swam faster, reaching the far wall and making his turn.

 _"…we'll always be connected to each other."_

Rei pushed through the water once more, taking heaving breaths every time he surfaced. The starting block was getting closer.

"Rei-chan!"

Rei heard his name.

It was Nagisa's voice.

 _"I'm going to a university in Tokyo!"_

Just push… push it… push—

 _Was that… a penguin?_

Dai waited on the starting block, his hands down to grip the edge of the starting block. His eyes locked onto Rei, hearing him get closer. He watched for his hand, for the timing, for the right moment…

Rei pushed forward and reached out his hand…

" **Dai-kun**!"

…and Dai dove from the starting block. Once again, time seemed to slow, and Rei stared up at Dai's body as he dove.

"H…Haruka-senpai…?"

Dai dove in beautifully and elegantly before climbing to the surface to start his front-crawl. The other lanes did not matter at this point. It was just him… and his teammates.

He swam forward, his hands cutting through the water with each stroke.

 _"I want you to find joy in swimming again."_

Dai winced, remembering how hard the past year had been. It had been dark and lonely for so long. He could not even remember what having company felt like. He shut his eyes to block out the thoughts that plagued him and the awful memories that bombarded his mind.

"Dai-chan."

"Dai-kun."

"Dai."

Dai opened his eyes, and suddenly, he could see his teammates swimming next to him, each with reassuring smiles on their faces. The dark waters surrounding them brightened, and Dai could clearly see the path again.

 _"If you can't swim for yourself, then swim for your brother."_

"Nii-san!"

Dai's heart jolted at hearing his brother's voice echoing in his mind. A smile tugged at his lips as he pitched forward with his teammates by his side, his arms pulling him through the water at lightning speed.

He could hear his teammates cheering for him.

"Dai!" "Dai-kun!" "Dai-chan!"

Dai stretched his hand forward...

 _Almost there!_

...and touched the wall.

The crowd cheered loudly. In the stands, Gou was wiping her eyes as the tears flowed freely. Makoto, Kanade, and Haru all glanced at each other with bright smiles.

Dai panted as he pulled off his goggles and swim cap, water dripping from his face.

"Dai-chan!"

"Dai-kun!"

"Dai."

Dai lifted up his head. He felt his heart clench painfully in his chest as he saw his teammates all standing in front of him, all wearing smiles with watering eyes. The backstroke swimmer had knelt down to him and extended a hand down to him.

"You did it, Dai," he said. Dai grasped his hand and put on a small smile, remembering that his friend had told him this same phrase before.

" _We_ did it, remember?" Dai said as he was pulled out of the pool. His fellow first-year smiled and nodded at him, not letting go of his hand.

Suddenly, a teary-eyed Nagisa and a blubbering Rei pulled them both in for a group hug. The four of them laughed and cried with each other.

"Nii-san!"

Dai craned his head to look towards the stands. He saw Ryu standing up in his seat waving his hands at him.

"Good work, Nii-san!" he shouted. A huge smile was on his face.

Dai blinked for a second and then his eyes squinted as he tried to fight back the tears. He looked up a couple of rows to see Makoto standing and waving at him. He lifted his hand into the air and gave Dai a thumbs-up. Dai smiled and returned the gesture.

 **Iwatobi Relay Team**

 **7** **th** **Place**

* * *

Hey, guys! I listened to music while writing this. I recommend listening to the "My Best Team" ost from Free! ES during the last relay section. It really gave me goosebumps!

Thanks for reading!


	38. Chapter 38

Sorry this is late!

* * *

Chapter 38

* * *

 _"Huh? Where am I?"_

 _Makoto glanced around the white space that surrounded him. He was completely alone in this strange void. He picked a direction and started to walk down the path, his footsteps echoing._

 _In the distance was a door, and a short figure stood in front of it. His eyes widened when he realized he was not alone and he rushed towards the door._

 _Black hair… black hoodie…_

 _"Kanade?" Makoto called out._

 _Kanade turned her head, revealing tears streaming down her cheeks. Her eyes looked tired and her lips were parted._

 _"Kanade?! What happened?" Makoto asked, approaching her._

 _He tried to get to her, but an earthquake stopped him in his tracks, creating a wide crack in the white ground. It separated the two, with Kanade still standing in front of the door on the other side._

 _"Kanade!" Makoto called from across the hole. "Are you okay?" he called, his voice frantic._

 _Kanade just stood still, not moving an inch. Her back was still facing Makoto but her head was still turned to look at him out of the corner of her eye._

 _"Please, Kanade! Let me know if you're okay!" Makoto called back._

 _Kanade paused to look at the ground, and then she turned fully around._

 _Makoto's eyes widened._

 _There was a large hole in Kanade's chest, right where her heart should be. Blood was pouring from the hole._

 _"Kanade! You're hurt! We need to get you help!" Makoto called._

 _Kanade's eyes squinted and she shook her head. She turned around and faced the door, putting her hand on the knob and opening it slightly._

Beep….

 _"It's too late," Kanade mumbled._

Beep….

 _She opened the door, and beyond the door shone a bright light, practically blinding Makoto. Makoto shielded his eyes for a moment and then reached out his hand._

 _"Kanade!" he called._

Beep….

 _"KANADE!"_

 _..._

Makoto jolted awake and shot up from his bed. His heart was pounding in his ears and he could barely hear his beeping alarm clock on his nightstand. He reached over and silenced it with shaking fingers. He huffed out a sigh and fell back on his pillow, trying to catch his breath.

What kind of dream was that?

* * *

The air was crisp as Makoto walked down the busy streets of Tokyo. He bundled up in his scarf and shivered as a cold wind bit through his jacket. He sighed once the wind passed.

Summer was definitely over.

It was not that Makoto hated fall, but he definitely preferred the warm sun as opposed to the cooler fall. He probably liked summer because of Haru, who would swim in a pool no matter what the temperature. And if it was warmer, Haru would not get sick. Makoto's lips pursed.

 _I hope Haru is swimming indoors…_

Another breeze blew past his shoulders and he shut his eyes to shield the cold. After crossing the street, he quickly rushed to the library on campus and entered through its doors. A sigh of relief fell from his lips as he walked through the warm library. He found an abandoned table in the corner and took out his notes and books. He sighed again when he saw his jumbled notes.

Finals.

Finals would start next week, and Makoto was anything but relaxed. He could feel it in his neck as anxiety crept up his spine, leaving aches and pains in its wake. It definitely did not help that the weather had suddenly turned cooler. It was like a light switch had been flipped.

Makoto shuddered as he removed his scarf and jacket from his body, letting the cooler air pick at his torso. He hunched over and started to study his notes. After a grueling two hours of nothing but studying, Makoto could feel the stress starting to take its toll. He lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck to soothe his aches.

Suddenly, Makoto felt hands rest on his shoulders and start to knead out the knots. He jumped at the sudden touch and turned his head.

"You're going to wear yourself out, y'know."

Kanade stood behind him with a small smile on her face. Makoto smiled in return and sighed dramatically.

"Ah, well, these finals could be the death of me!" Makoto whined. "So once that happens, I won't be worn out anymore."

Kanade giggled at him and continued to push her thumbs into his shoulders and neck. She rubbed small, firm circles into the muscles and frowned.

"You're really tense, Makoto," Kanade said, her voice low and concerned.

"Oh, am I?" Makoto asked. He rolled his shoulders a little and then let her continue. His lips pushed together in a tense line as he looked back down at his notes.

"You shouldn't stress yourself out," Kanade said. Her hands moved down to his shoulder blades and Makoto flinched and hissed in pain. "See? Your body needs rest."

Makoto sighed and leaned down until his forehead rested on the table.

"I know," he finally answered.

Kanade then smacked Makoto on his back, making him yelp and shoot up in surprise. He glanced at Kanade as walked his chair and to the table. She closed his books.

"Then let's go get dinner," Kanade suggested.

Makoto blinked at her and then he slumped in his seat. He still did not feel ready for these exams. He still had so much to study and so much to reread from his classes. He did not want to be behind and he had to pass in order for him to continue school and—

"Ma-ko-to."

Makoto jolted and straightened, his gaze turning up to look at Kanade. She was staring back at him with a raised brow and pursed lips. Her arms folded across her chest.

"We're going to go eat," she commanded.

Makoto gulped and then stood up from his chair. He pulled his jacket on and wrapped the scarf around his neck. He leaned down to grab his backpack, but he felt a hand touch his wrist. He looked up and saw Kanade smiling at him fondly.

"How about we study together tonight?" she suggested. "I bought a cake…" she added, giving him a sly smile.

Makoto's eyes immediately sparkled and he smiled at her.

"Ah, I could go for some cake!"

They left the library made their trek back towards the rec center. Kanade talked to him about practice and how coach was really impressed lately. She also brought up Watabe, who had recently stopped giving her glaring looks. Makoto would hum in response, his eyelids feeling heavy.

 _I need to study more…_ Makoto thought. _But I'm so tired… Maybe I should reread that last chapter tonight? Or maybe I should work on that final essay. Or maybe—_

"You look exhausted, Makoto…" Kanade said, stirring Makoto out of his tired stupor.

"Hm?" Makoto said, glancing down at her. Her brows were upturned and creased in worry. "Oh, no, I'm fine," Makoto said, trying for a smile.

But Kanade did not buy it. She grabbed his elbow gently and made him stop.

"Have you been sleeping okay?" she asked. "I mean… you've had sleeping trouble before, especially when you're stressed."

Makoto blinked at her, a little surprised that she remembered. Back before he moved into the rec center apartment, he was so stressed and tired that he would fall asleep in class. Kanade had to wake him a few times.

"Ah, well…" Makoto stammered. "I _did_ have a weird dream last night."

Kanade cocked her head and raised a curious brow. "A dream? What about?"

Makoto flushed.

 _It was about you…_

"Ah, ahaha… I don't really remember," Makoto chuckled nervously. He scratched his cheek and then took a step forward. "C'mon, I'm really craving some cake!" he said as he took a few more steps, leaving Kanade behind.

"Hey, wait!" Kanade called as she tried to catch up to him. "We have to eat dinner first!"

* * *

The ceiling greeted Makoto as he woke up from his restless sleep. His body felt heavy and exhausted, and a touch of nausea churned in his stomach. He groaned as he got out of bed, and then immediately put a hand on his head as a dizzy spell wracked his body.

A wave of nausea plagued his stomach and climbed up to his sore throat. He grimaced and leaned against the wall, trying to fight it off. Once it passed, he sighed and felt a tickle in his throat. He coughed and sniffled.

Makoto heaved and leaned his forehead against the cool wall, pondering if he should skip classes today. He thought about it for a moment, but then sighed, realizing that he needed to go to class to get the last minutes notes before exams would strike next week.

After another minute of feeling the cool wall against his head and palms, he pushed himself off and trudged to his dresser to grab fresh clothes.

The air was freezing in comparison to just a few days ago when he and Kanade left the library together. Makoto could feel the wind cutting through his jacket as he walked to campus. He shoved his hands into his pockets as he crossed the street. The ground beneath his feet swirled with every step and Makoto felt his stomach grow queasy.

He dragged his feet to the academics building and entered the classroom. He sluggishly climbed the steps and sat in his usual seat, allowing the seat next to him to be empty for Kanade.

After a few minutes of waiting, students started to flood the classroom, including Kanade. Her hair was damp from practice and pulled back into a ponytail. She had her normal smile on her face and she climbed the steps to sit next to him.

"Morning, Makoto!" Kanade greeted.

Oh, how Makoto loved that sweet voice of hers. But right now, any voice that spoke to him too close only made his pounding head worse. He sighed lightly.

"M-Morning," Makoto grumbled.

Makoto kept staring down at his notes, which were swirling on the pages, and he strained to focus on reading the words. He squinted and tried to make heads or tails of his writing, but it only made his head spin.

He sighed and lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck. Finals were coming soon… he needed to focus. He needed to make sure he understood the material. He needed to—

"You okay, Makoto?" Kanade asked suddenly, pulling Makoto out of his thoughts.

Makoto sighed again and nodded. His hand on the back of his neck rubbed furiously at the skin. He squeezed it hard, trying to fight off the dizziness.

"You look pretty stressed there," Kanade said with a light chuckle.

"Ah… I'm fine," Makoto mumbled.

"C'mon, Makoto," Kanade started, eyeing him carefully. "I know you're stressed, but you're going to rub your neck raw."

Kanade grabbed Makoto's hand and moved it off of his neck, her finger brushing the red skin. It was hot to the touch, making Kanade's brows push together in worry. She laid her palm flat on the back of his neck and felt the heat radiating through her palm.

"Makoto," Kanade called, her voice turning serious. Makoto sluggishly turned his head to look at her with glassy eyes. "You feel okay?" she asked.

Makoto blinked at her, his eyelids heavy. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine," he said, putting on a strained smile.

Kanade's brows only creased more as she moved her hand up his neck and to his cheek. She pushed his hair off of his forehead and gently rested her palm against it. The heat seeping from his head caused Kanade to flinch in alarm.

"Makoto, you're burning up," Kanade said, her voice laced with worry.

"Huh?" Makoto squeaked. "Oh, no, I'm okay," he insisted. Kanade dropped her hand from his face, clearly not convinced.

"You should go home," Kanade said sternly.

"Huh?" he groaned. "N-No, what about class? Finals are next week!"

"I'll help you study," Kanade said, standing to her feet. "You can't be just wandering around all day. You need rest."

"Ah, Kanade, really, I'm fine," Makoto said, forcing another strained smile on his face. "I'll just go to bed early tonight."

Kanade ignored him, putting his things into his bag for him, and he flailed his arms in an attempt to stop her.

"Kanade! W-What are you doing?" Makoto asked, a little bit of panic in his voice.

"You're too sick," Kanade said, straightening. "C'mon, let's go before class starts."

Makoto pouted, his forehead wrinkling remorsefully. He quietly stood up from his seat and turned to walk down the steps. He swayed as he turned and Kanade latched onto his arm to steady him.

"S-Sorry," Makoto mumbled groggily. Kanade smiled at him.

"Remember what I said about apologizing?" she said softly, guiding him down the steps. "It still applies even when you're sick."

"Ah, yeah, but… I'm being a burden to—"

"You're never a burden, got it?" Kanade said firmly. Makoto blinked at her a few times, her statement shutting him up. "Now let's just get you home."

Makoto swallowed thickly and sighed. "Mmn."

Once off campus, they headed down the Tokyo street towards the rec center. Makoto had his hands in his jacket pockets with his eyes on the road and his head hanging. Kanade glanced over her shoulder to peer back at him.

His face was flushed, a line of red blossoming over his nose and to his cheeks. His eyes were glossy and heavy, the green color in them turning pale, and he was slowly plodding behind her with heavy legs. His frame shook slightly, the breeze cutting through his jacket and biting into his skin. It made even his bones feel frozen and stiff.

Kanade huffed out a worried sigh and turned around to face the road. She crossed the street with him and then they walked down a few blocks until they reached the rec center. After unlocking the door to her apartment, Kanade helped him up the stairs and into the apartment. She helped him take off his jacket and she hung it by the door.

"I'll get you some medicine. Why don't you lie down?" Kanade said, putting a hand on his shoulder. She forced him to sit on the couch while she got him water.

Makoto groggily nodded and let himself be pushed onto his back. Kanade left a water bottle on the coffee table and she quickly fetched a small towel. She ran the towel under the cold water in the sink and then squeezed out the excess. Once she returned to his side, she gently laid the cold towel on Makoto's forehead and he let out a relieved sigh.

"Have you eaten anything today?" Kanade asked him. Makoto looked up at her and shook his head, his eyelids heavy over his tired eyes. His body was shaking and wet with sweat dripping down his neck.

"Makoto…" Kanade said softly, her brows creasing at his response. "I can't give you medicine on an empty stomach. I'll make you some soup. Here."

Kanade pulled a blanket from the couch and wrapped him in it. He hummed in response, not even phased by her hands touching his chest as she smoothed out the blanket. He closed his eyes at her touch, only opening them when he felt her cold hands touching his neck to wipe away the sweat.

"Rest now," Kanade said with a small smile. "I'll make you lunch in a bit."

"Mmn," Makoto groaned.

He snuggled up under the covers and closed his eyes, breathing softly. Kanade stared at his flushed face and pursed her lips. Gently, she combed her fingers through his brown hair and he sighed at the touch. She smiled at that, feeling warmth flood her body.

Suddenly, she heard buzzing from Makoto's jacket hanging by the door. She glanced at the jacket, then to Makoto's sleeping face, and then back to the door. She stood up from the couch and walked over to his jacket, digging into the pocket and retrieving Makoto's phone.

"Hm? Nanase?" Kanade mumbled as she read the name glowing on the screen. She glanced back at Makoto, who was still sleeping lightly on the couch. She looked back down at the phone and gulped. She answered it tentatively. "H-Hello?"

There was a long pause.

Kanade felt sweat start to bead on her back.

"Shizumi?" Haru finally answered.

"O-Oh, yeah! Hey, Nanase. How are—"

"Where's Makoto?" Haru interrupted. His voice was urgent and Kanade felt her back stiffen.

"He's sick, actually," Kanade said, turning her gaze to stare back at Makoto.

"Sick?" Haru asked after a moment of silence.

"Yeah," Kanade said. "He's running a pretty high fever."

"…"

Haru paused for a while, and Kanade's eye twitched. Should she go wake up Makoto? Just for a phone call?

"I'm coming over," Haru said suddenly.

"Eh?!" Kanade squeaked.

Then, there was a click, and the line went dead. Kanade stared at the phone in disbelief.

Was he serious?

Makoto coughed lightly and groaned, pulling Kanade out of her thoughts. Right, she was making lunch. She tried to busy herself in the kitchen, feeling the impending doom that was Nanase Haruka. Of course, they had made up, but there was no telling what he would be like when his best friend was sick.

Sure enough, after fifteen minutes, there was a knock at the door, jolting Kanade from chopping up vegetables. Kanade shivered at his sudden promptness. The trains must have been on time today…

She walked to the door and opened it, greeting a deadpan Haru on the other side. He greeted her with a simple nod and Kanade gestured with her hand for him to enter.

"Pardon the intrusion…" he said softly as he crossed the threshold. Kanade waved her hand at him and walked back into the kitchen.

"You practically live here, anyway," Kanade said, going back to chopping.

Haru blinked at her and then turned his attention to the living room where Makoto was lying on the couch. He walked over to his sick friend and hovered over him. He reached down and carefully placed the back of his hand on Makoto's cheek. His brows creased. She was not joking about the fever.

"He hasn't eaten anything all day, apparently," Kanade said from the kitchen. Haru straightened and walked to the kitchen to hear her better. "And he really shouldn't take anything until he's got food in his system."

Haru watched her chop for a minute. Since she was so short, she was standing on her tiptoes to get a better angle on the veggies. She was sticking her tongue out of the side of her mouth as she concentrated on each slice. Haru pursed his lips, feeling inclined to speak.

"Mackerel would help," Haru said bluntly. Kanade giggled at that, and Haru felt his body jolt at the sound.

"Oh, trust me," Kanade said, turning her head to look at him. "I would _love_ to make mackerel, but I know that Makoto wouldn't be too happy about it."

Haru blinked at her, suddenly remembering how much she liked mackerel. He fidgeted with the hem of his sweater, suddenly feeling out of place.

"Want some tea?" Kanade asked as she put the veggies in a pot.

"S-Sure," Haru said softly.

Kanade nodded at him and then started some tea while Haru stared back at Makoto's sleeping form.

"How long has he been sick?" Haru asked. Kanade sighed.

"I'm not sure, really," Kanade said. "I only noticed it this morning. He seemed okay at dinner last night. Although, he was a little groggy…"

Her voice trailed off a little and Haru could not see her face. He wondered what expression she was making. She was silent until the tea was done and she pulled out two cups.

"I didn't think he would hide how he was feeling, but he even went to class like that," Kanade said softly as she poured the tea. Haru's brows furrowed in annoyance.

 _Dummy_ , Haru thought.

"But I made him come home," Kanade continued, handing Haru the steaming cup. Haru's eyes widened a little.

"You _made_ him?" Haru asked. Kanade's brow twitched unnervingly at his question.

 _This could be either a really good thing or really bad thing,_ Kanade thought. She inhaled slowly as her shaking hand reached to grasp her own cup.

"A-Ah, well… there was no way I was going to let him just sit in class being miserable," Kanade stammered.

Haru glanced away from her and down at his tea. He took a sip, his eyes lighting up with the taste, and then promptly swallowed more. He set the tea down on the counter and pursed his lips.

"Th… Thank you," Haru started. "For taking care of him."

Kanade blinked at him but then smiled fondly. "Of course."

Haru glanced over at the soup that was cooking over the stove. He paused and then looked back at Makoto. Kanade followed his eyes.

"I feel bad that I'm going to make him eat soup," Kanade said. "I wanted to make him green curry tonight, too."

Haru turned back to look at her, his eyes widening a little.

"Maybe we should make him green curry for his birthday," Haru suggested.

"Oh? When's his birthday?" Kanade asked.

"November 17th," Haru answered.

Kanade's eyes shot wide and she practically spit out her tea.

"That soon?!" she yelled, and then slapped a hand over her mouth. She glanced over to Makoto to check if he had stirred and then looked back to Haru. "Seriously? That's so close!" Kanade said, her voice going to a soft whisper.

Haru nodded and took another sip of his tea. Kanade bit her lip and put a hand to her chin. She thought for a moment and then smiled.

"I have an idea!"

* * *

Beep….

 _"It's too late," Kanade mumbled._

Beep….

 _She opened the door, and beyond the door shone a bright light, almost blinding Makoto. Makoto shielded his eyes for a moment and then reached out his hand._

 _"Kanade!" he called._

Beep….

 _"KANADE!"_

Makoto jolted up from the couch, panting. His head was throbbing and his chest ached. That stupid dream again… and what was that annoying beeping? He thought the beeps from last time were because of his alarm clock. Now, they seemed to be a part of the dream itself.

"Makoto?"

"Makoto!"

Makoto turned his head at the sound of his name and was met with four blue eyes. Four blue, concerned eyes. He felt a hand touch his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" Haru asked, his eyes wide.

Makoto blinked at him, trying to clear the blurriness from his vision. He stared at Haru in disbelief.

"Haru?" Makoto whispered. "What are you…"

Makoto lifted a hand to clutch his head, feeling it throb with every word he spoke. Dizziness took over, and Makoto immediately regretted moving so much.

"Lay back down," Haru said. "You need to rest."

Makoto was having some strange déjà vu, his mind wandering back to their first training camp a few years ago. He let Haru gently push his tired body back against the couch and he dug the heels of his hands into his eyes.

"Still feeling dizzy?" he heard Kanade ask. He felt a cool, wet towel rest on his forehead. A contented sigh left his lips as the cool towel touched his head.

"A little," Makoto answered. She let out a shuddering breath and lowered his hands from his eyes.

"You all right?" Kanade asked.

"Mmn," Makoto hummed. "Just… just a bad dream."

"Bad dream?" Haru echoed.

"Yeah," Makoto said. He glanced up and saw their worried expressions. He immediately waved his hand and smiled. "It's fine, really. Just a dream."

Haru and Kanade exchanged weary looks before looking back at Makoto.

"Well, if you're sure," Kanade said. "You up for some food?"

Makoto whined and covered his eyes again. She gently tugged on his wrists and moved them from his eyes. She smiled gently down at him.

"C'mon, Makoto," Kanade said, moving her hands to grasp his shoulders.

She pushed him into a sitting position and set a steaming bowl of soup on the coffee table in front of him. Makoto leaned forward and smelled the soup, a smile coming to his drowsy face.

"It smells good," Makoto said weakly.

He grabbed the spoon and slurped some noodles and veggies down. He smiled when the soup warmed up his belly and glanced up at Kanade.

"Thank you," he said gently, and Kanade nodded. "Ah, Haru, you don't need to stay if you're busy. I'll be fine," Makoto said, turning his attention to Haru as he lifted the spoon back up to his lips.

Haru blinked at him, his lips pursed. Makoto swallowed down another bite.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Makoto said, reading Haru's mind. "I didn't think it was that bad, actually. At least, not until class this morning." Makoto chuckled lightly.

Haru leaned forward and flicked Makoto's forehead. Makoto yelped and covered his forehead, rubbing the sore spot gently.

"Dummy," Haru said plainly. Makoto pouted at him, but then smiled weakly. His eyes were lidded and his face still red with fever. Haru stole a glance at Kanade and then took a deep breath. "I'll let you rest, then."

Haru stood up from his crouched position and headed towards the door. He grabbed his coat and started to slip on his shoes.

"Haru," Makoto called, and Haru looked back at him. "Thanks for worrying about me."

Haru blinked a few times and then turned away his gaze, the skin under his eyes tinting red. He gave a simple hum and then disappeared through the door. Makoto smiled at the door but then broke out into a coughing fit. Kanade rubbed his back soothingly.

"I'll go get that medicine," Kanade said, taking a step away.

"I'm surprised," Makoto said suddenly, and Kanade stopped to look back at him.

"Surprised about what?" she asked.

Makoto rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm surprised Haru decided to actually leave," Makoto looked back at Kanade and tilted his head weakly. "He trusts you."

Kanade's eyes widened and she scratched her cheek. "Heh… I guess he does."

She quickly disappeared into the bathroom and raided the medicine cabinet for some pills. When she shut the cabinet door, she was met with her reflection in the mirror. She was smiling.

* * *

He was unsure of when he had fallen asleep, but when Makoto awoke, it was close to seven in the evening. He lifted himself from the couch, feeling hot and sticky. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"How you feeling?" came a voice from the side.

Makoto turned his head and saw Kanade sitting on the floor by the coffee table. She sat with textbooks and notebooks surrounding her, and she wore a curious look on her face, although her eyes were tired.

"I feel… okay," Makoto answered. He tugged on the collar of his shirt. "I feel really hot though."

Kanade stood up from the floor and walked over to him. She placed a hand on his forehead.

"I think you sweated some of the fever out, but you still feel a little warm," she said. She glanced down at his shirt and saw that it was damp. "Take off this shirt, I'll go get you a fresh one."

Makoto's face reddened and he blinked at her for a moment, trying to gauge her seriousness. Once he realized she was not joking, he reached down and grabbed the hem of his shirt. Kanade nodded in approval and then walked down to his room to fetch a clean shirt.

She came back quickly and found Makoto sitting stiffly on the couch, shirtless and embarrassed. The tips of his ears were red, and a maddening blush was traveling down his neck. She stifled a giggle and walked up behind him. She plopped the shirt down on his shoulder and then walked around the couch to sit in front of him.

"You feeling up to studying some?" she asked from the floor.

Makoto put on the shirt and then smiled gingerly.

"A-Ah, sure," he answered.

Kanade smiled and grabbed one his textbooks that she snatched from his backpack earlier. She opened it up to a bookmarked page and giggled to herself. Of course, Makoto put sticky notes on what sections he needed to study.

"Okay, so let's go over this part," Kanade said, pointing to a section that had a sticky note next to it. The sticky note had a question mark on it.

Makoto sighed and wrapped himself in the blanket, trying to fight off the relentless nausea and dizziness that plagued him still. They looked at several different sections in different subjects. Kanade would quiz Makoto over and over, and Makoto almost got every question correct. They studied heavily together for over an hour, only taking a break to eat some more soup.

When there was a lull in the studying, Makoto scratched his cheek and felt some guilt bearing down on his shoulders. Kanade was doing so much for him, maybe too much.

Did she go to class today at all?

The guilt made Makoto's stomach churn. His head was cloudy.

"Kanade, did… did you stay here all day?" Makoto asked quietly. Kanade looked up from her textbook.

"Yeah," she answered plainly.

"You didn't go to any classes?" Makoto asked. She shook her head. "What about practice?"

"Oh, well practice has been canceled this week because of finals next week," Kanade said with a smile.

Makoto bit his lip. "You're doing so much for me," he said softly. His body started to feel heavy again, and his head started to fog. He clutched his head and closed his eyes, letting a small sigh escape.

She had helped him through so many trials already. His living arrangements, finding a new job, helping him with his fear of the ocean, the Iwatobi swim club, his friendship with Haru, and…

…making him fall for her.

Makoto squeezed his eyes shut as another wave of dizziness overtook him. He owed so much to Kanade. He needed to repay her, do something nice for her… she deserved that much. She deserved a nice dinner. She deserved friendship and companionship. She deserved to seek out her dream and follow it.

How could Makoto tell her how much she means to him?

"Makoto, really, don't worry about it," he heard Kanade say.

 _Oh… her voice…_ Makoto thought, his mind slipping. _She sounds so pretty..._

"You're thinking too— Makoto are you okay?"

Makoto felt a hand on his shoulder and he forced his eyes open to look up at Kanade. She was blurry and he could barely make out her face, but she still enraptured him.

 _She smells so good..._

"Mmm… I'm fine," Makoto mumbled. He was teetering a little, looking like he was about to fall back on the couch at any second. He felt her hand touch his forehead.

"Makoto, lay down. Your fever is back," Kanade said. She pushed him to lie back down on the couch and covered him with the blanket. "I'll get you more medicine."

 _Oh, no… she's walking away,_ Makoto thought. _I need to tell her… I need to tell her_ something. _Something that will let her know… how much she means to me._

Kanade stood up to go get more medicine but felt a tug on her wrist, stopping her in her tracks. She turned her head to look at Makoto, his face red and his eyes dull. He reached up with his other hand and cupped her cheek.

 _Tell her something. Anything…_

"Kanade," he said breathlessly.

Kanade's heart skipped a beat. He stared into his eyes, as dull as they were, and felt her chest swell.

"Kanade," he said again, and he pulled her head down to him.

Kanade's heart started to go into overdrive. She could feel his breath on her neck and breeze past her ear.

 _Something._

"You're…" he started.

 _Say something…._

Then, Kanade felt something wet and soft press to her cheek, near her ear. She stiffened and her eyes shot open. Tingles shot down her spine and goosebumps rose on her neck.

Was… was that a kiss?!

" _You're so beautiful_ ," Makoto whispered.

Then, Makoto fell back on the couch with a groan and his eyes fluttered shut. A small sigh escaped his lips and he fell right asleep.

Kanade, her face beet red, lifted a hand to touch her wet cheek where his lips had pressed just a moment ago. Frazzled, she glanced around the apartment. She could feel her chest tighten and throb as her emotions swirled around in her mind. She hurried to her bedroom and scrambled for her oxygen tank. She put the mask to her face and slowly took wheezing breaths to settle down her erratic heart.

 _What… what was that?_

 _Did he… just… kiss me…?_


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

* * *

Kanade woke up slowly and stared up at her ceiling. The room was cold and quiet. Her bones felt stiff and her chest ached from the emotional trauma she had gone through just the night before.

She felt her cheek. It was still tingling from the events that occurred last night. Had Makoto meant to do that? Had Makoto even kissed anyone before?!

And then…

 _"You are so beautiful."_

Kanade shook her head to fling the thoughts away and she slapped her cheeks to wake herself up from the daydream. She stood to her feet to get ready for the day, trying her hardest not to dwell on it.

After she was dressed, she put her hand on her door and took a deep breath, promptly sliding the door open. She headed down the hallway towards the living room when she heard the kitchen sink running. She froze in the hallway, her face flushing. She could hear light humming.

Quietly, Kanade tiptoed over to the kitchen and poked her head around the wall. Makoto was standing at the sink washing the bowls from the soup yesterday. He was wearing the same t-shirt that she had gotten for him from his room last night, but he was wearing sweatpants voice was light as he hummed a nice tune and Kanade could tell he felt better.

Although, Kanade felt a little guilty. After the kiss, she had abandoned him on the couch all night. Now, she worried if he would be upset about that. She brought her thumb up to her lip and chewed on the nail, pondering what to do. Should she approach him? Ask him about last night? Apologize for leaving him on the couch? What should she do, what should she do, _what should she—_

"Oh, Kanade."

Kanade jolted out of her thoughts and snapped her head up to look at Makoto, who was smiling brightly at her.

"Ah, good morning!" Makoto greeted. He lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck and he put on a shy smile. "Sorry about last night," he started.

Kanade blushed and felt her shoulders droop. So he was apologizing about it, now. Which means he had not meant to do it at all. Her gut twisted uncomfortably. Disappointment. She was about to reply when Makoto continued.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep on you last night. You were helping me study and everything!" he said with a light chuckle.

Kanade blinked at him and cocked her head. "Study?" she asked.

"Yeah, remember?" Makoto said. "You were helping me study and then I fell asleep. I'm really sorry about that. But, the medicine you gave me made me feel a whole lot better! So maybe we can study again today?"

Kanade gaped at him. What… what does he mean?

Did he not remember the kiss?

"Kanade? You look like you've seen a ghost," Makoto said. He set down the bowl in his hand and walked over to her. He was hesitant at first, but he lifted his hand to feel her forehead. "You didn't catch my cold, did you?" he asked.

Kanade flushed again and shook her head. Makoto took his hand from her and stared down at her with an arched brow. He raised his hand to rub the back of his neck.

"You sure you're not—"

"You don't remember last night?" Kanade blurted. She bit her lip and her hands curled into fists.

 _Crap._

"Last night?" Makoto asked. He scratched his cheek and put a hand on his hip. "Um… not really? I mean, I remember studying, but then I think I fell asleep."

Kanade blinked at him, her chest calming.

"Thank you for that, by the way," Makoto said. Kanade jumped, not expecting his comment.

"For what?" she asked.

"For taking care of me. I know I can be a hassle," Makoto said with a chuckle.

Kanade smiled at his laugh, feeling relief flood her body. She swiftly punched Makoto in his arm and he stumbled back a step.

"You're definitely right about _that_ ," Kanade said with a snicker.

"Eh?!" Makoto fussed.

"C'mon, let's go swimming!" Kanade said, grabbing her duffle bag by the door.

"What?! _Now?!_ Hey, hey! Kanade, wait for me!"

* * *

"So how does that sound?"

"Yeah, that should be fine."

Kanade smiled to herself, proud of the plans she had set with Haru for Makoto's upcoming birthday. Her cheeks hurt with how hard she was smiling.

Makoto would be so surprised!

She was on the phone with Haru, bright and early on Monday morning. She leaned against the wall just outside of the classroom where the final exam would soon be administered.

"I'm glad his birthday is actually on a Saturday," Kanade said cheerfully.

"Yeah," Haru replied.

There was a moment of silence, Kanade biting her lip. Maybe Haru would know…

"Say, Nanase-kun…" Kanade started. She heard Haru hum quietly. "You've seen Makoto sick before, right?"

Haru hesitated slightly. "Yeah."

Now it was Kanade's turn to hesitate. Her hand fisted her shirt as she tried to form the right words.

 _What am I supposed to say? Hey, your best friend kissed me last night and told me I was beautiful, but now he doesn't remember. That's just his mind being crazy, right?!_

"Shizumi?"

Kanade jolted and remembered she was still talking to Haru.

"R-Right, n-nevermind. So, birthday plans for Makoto. Meeting tonight at 6?" Kanade said in a hurry.

Haru hesitated over the line and Kanade could picture his scowl.

"Yeah," he answered.

"Great! Well, I guess I will see you tonight!" Kanade said quickly.

Haru hesitated again.

"Mmn. Bye," he finally said.

"Bye."

Kanade pocketed her phone and took a step to enter the classroom, but she immediately bumped into a solid chest. She heard a familiar chuckle.

"We should really stop meeting like this."

Kanade glanced up and saw a smiling Makoto standing in front of her. She smiled back at him, remembering their first encounter on the way to this class.

This was the class where it all started.

"Well, it's only fitting that we run into each other on the last day of class," Kanade said, leading Makoto into the classroom.

"True!" Makoto chuckled from behind. They both took their usual seats and plopped down.

"You ready?" Kanade asked him.

Makoto nodded and he put his glasses on. "I think so."

"You _think_ so? Makoto, you were _nailing_ those questions I asked you last night!" Kanade said.

Makoto rubbed the back of his neck and let out a nervous chuckle.

"Well, y-yeah, I suppose," Makoto said.

"Hey!" Kanade scolded. She grabbed Makoto's hand and pulled it away from his neck. "Don't stress out."

"I, I'm not stressed!" Makoto stuttered, pulling his wrist out of her grip. He pursed his lips and folded his hands on the desk.

"Uh-huh," Kanade teased.

"I'm not!"

Kanade chuckled at him and leaned her chin on her hand. She stared at him. His glasses were slipping down his nose a little, and Kanade smirked. His hair fell over his frames.

 _"You're so beautiful."_

Kanade felt her face heat up and she sat up straight in her chair. She turned her gaze to stare into her lap. She knew she would have to bring this up with Makoto. It was only right.

 _Right?_

A buzzing in her pocket pulled Kanade out of her thoughts. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, her brow rising when she saw a text from Haru.

 _Since when does Nanase text me?_

 _To: Shizumi_

 _Is Makoto ok?_

Kanade stared down at the text, a little puzzled. She quickly sent him another text.

 _To: Nanase_

 _Yeah, he's fine. Why?_

 _To: Shizumi_

 _You asked about Makoto being sick before. He's not sick again, is he?_

Kanade sighed and felt her shoulders slump. Of course, Haru _would_ ask that after she acted like a lunatic on the phone.

 _To: Nanase_

 _No, he's fine._

There was a moment of silence, and Kanade thought the conversation was over. But after a few minutes, she received yet another text from Haru.

 _To: Shizumi_

 _We'll talk tonight._

Kanade felt a shiver run down her spine. Haru could be so intimidating sometimes, especially when it came to Makoto.

"Everything okay?" Makoto asked her. Kanade jerked and slapped her phone shut and stuffed it into her pocket. She glanced up at Makoto with a twitching smile.

"Yep!" she answered.

Makoto raised a brow. "Then, who were you—"

"All right, clear off your desks," the professor announced from the front of the room. He passed out the exams to the front row of students and they passed it back. "Best of luck to you."

Kanade and Makoto both looked at the final exam in front of them. Makoto chewed on his lip as he viewed the first page. He was about to put his name on the paper when he felt a nudge on his elbow. He turned to look at Kanade, who was giving him a thumbs-up and a big smile.

Warmth flooded Makoto's chest and he smiled back at her, giving her a single, determined nod. He glanced down at his paper, feeling more ready than ever.

* * *

"When did she say she'd be here?"

"We agreed to meet at 6."

"It's 6:15."

Haru sighed and ignored Torii, who was baffled at his sudden desire to meet with Kanade at this restaurant. Haru had been flustered all day after his phone call with her that morning, and Torii was too curious to let it slide.

So, now they were both sitting in the restaurant that Haru and Kanade had decided to meet.

Haru was drinking his water, trying his best to not let Torii get to him. He was too preoccupied with Kanade's anxious state earlier. Was something wrong with Makoto again?

"I'm just curious as to what's been bothering you so much. And since when have you and her been buddies?" Torii asked.

"We're not," Haru said. "She's Makoto's friend. He likes her."

Torii rolled his eyes and smirked at him. "Sure, sure. Well, you have to let me know what she— ah, there she is," Torii said, pointing to the doorway.

Haru glanced towards the front door to see a panting Kanade standing in front of the glass doors. She gave the restaurant a quick look-over, and then her eyes lit up when she noticed Haru.

"There's my cue," Torii said. "Better tell me what's up later."

Haru rolled his eyes and waved off a grinning Torii.

 _Annoying._

Torii greeted Kanade with a kind smile and nod, Kanade returning the gesture. Kanade sighed and plopped down in the booth across from the Haru and frowned.

"Sorry I'm late," she apologized. She was a little breathless. "Train was late."

"It's fine," Haru said.

Kanade smiled a little, feeling grateful for Haru's patience. After a waiter came by and took Kanade's drink order, she turned to Haru and leaned her head on her hand.

"So, Makoto's birthday," Kanade said. "I was thinking that we could take him somewhere in the city. Somewhere where he'll be warm. I was thinking maybe a cafe or something? He hasn't been to one of—"

"What happened to Makoto?" Haru interrupted.

Kanade's smile faded from her face and her brows creased. Her hand dropped to her lap and she seemed to shrink.

"Nothing, really," Kanade said.

Haru's brows lowered skeptically. "Then why did you ask me if I've seen him sick before?"

Kanade's eyes shot wide and her face reddened as the memory resurfaced. Her cheek felt like it was on fire from his kiss.

"W-Well…" Kanade stammered. "Does… does Makoto get delusional when he has a fever?"

Haru's face remained deadpan, but his expression seemed to soften.

"Sometimes, yeah," Haru said. "A few times when we were kids, he would talk or do things in his sleep, but he wouldn't remember them the next day." Haru paused and stared at Kanade as her eyes flitted away from his gaze. Her maddening blush made his brow twitch and the realization hit him in an instant. "What did Makoto do?"

Kanade felt her lip twitch into a stiff smirk as the embarrassment came back. She twiddled her thumbs in her lap and hesitated. Luckily, Haru seemed to be patient.

"Well, h-he… he kind of… _he kissed me,"_ Kanade said, lowering her head to hide her face. She heard a sharp intake of breath followed by silence.

"He… kissed you?"

Kanade snapped her head up to look at Haru, his eyes a little wide. She nodded and raised a hand to rub the back of her neck.

"Well, it was on my cheek, but yeah. And then, he…" Kanade's face flushed even more.

"He…?" Haru probed.

Kanade sighed.

 _C'mon, Nanase! This is embarrassing. Don't make me say it._

"He told me I was beautiful," she said quietly. She squirmed under Haru's surprised gaze. "B-But, he doesn't remember any of it."

Haru hummed and internally face-palmed.

 _Dummy,_ he thought.

"So, I was thinking about just letting it slide since he doesn't remem—"

"Why don't you just confess to him?" Haru blurted. Kanade stared back at him, wide-eyed.

"Confess?" she echoed. Haru nodded.

"He already likes you," he said.

Kanade blushed more. She knew Makoto liked her, but his actions from the other night just made everything so real. He liked her. Makoto liked her. _Makoto liked her._

"You really think he'll be okay with…"

 _Me?_

"…that?" she finished.

Haru nodded. "Why don't you do it on his birthday?" he asked.

"Eh?!" she squeaked. "His birthday?" she echoed.

Haru felt his brow twitch. Why was he playing matchmaker all of a sudden?

He nodded again and hummed. "He would like that."

Kanade pondered it over. Makoto, the guy she literally ran into at the beginning of the school year. Makoto, the diligent student who trusted her with his panic attacks when life became too difficult. Makoto, the sweet, caring guy who loved kids and was an amazing older brother. Makoto, the guy who went with her to every doctor's visit. Makoto…

 _"I'm not going anywhere."_

Kanade's eyes widened when she remembered his promise. She thought about how she could kiss him after she confessed. She could hug him whenever she wanted. Makoto would be her… boyfriend.

Kanade took a nervous and excited breath.

"Okay," she said. "I'll confess to him on his birthday."

* * *

Makoto walked into the same building but walked upstairs to a different classroom. The new semester had already started, which Makoto was thankful for. Once finals had passed, Makoto crashed. He practically slept the whole week-long break, only leaving the apartment to swim with Kanade and Haru.

The new classes had the same amount of workload as last semester, which Makoto was also thankful for. He was glad it was not more work.

He walked in through the door and smiled when he saw that familiar face already sitting in a seat.

Black hair, black hoodie, blue eyes…

Kanade sat their new 'usual' seats, the seat next to her empty. Makoto closed the door behind him and plopped down next to her.

"Afternoon, Kanade," Makoto greeted. "Haven't seen you all day."

Kanade nodded at him and twisted in her seat. Her smile was a little timid today and she seemed restless as her hands fiddled with her notebook on the desk. Makoto raised a brow at her.

"You okay? You seem awfully jittery today," he noted.

"Ah, yeah, I'm fine," Kanade said. She squirmed in her seat.

Makoto's birthday was this Saturday. Saturday would be the day that Kanade confessed her feelings for Makoto. On his birthday. On a day where he's supposed to be happy.

No pressure.

Kanade ran a hand through her hair and sighed. If Makoto actually did not like her and did not want to date, she would not only ruin his birthday, but she would ruin their friendship. And that memory would stick in Makoto's mind forever, permanently ruining his birthday for the rest of his life.

Kanade felt sick.

"You sure you're okay?" Makoto asked. "You didn't catch my cold _now_ did you?"

"No, no!" Kanade said, waving her hands. Her palms were sweating. She bit her lip.

 _Just ask him about Saturday. Ask him if he's free,_ Kanade thought. She turned to face him and opened her mouth to speak—

"Oh, good afternoon Tachibana-kun!"

Kanade shut her mouth and watched as a tall brunette sat down next to Makoto. He turned to meet her pretty brown eyes and smiled, giving her a polite, "Hello." They chatted for a little while and Kanade felt her brow twitch every time the girl laughed.

This girl has been eyeing Makoto since the semester started. And it did not help that they had many classes together. Kanade sighed and leaned her head on her hand and faced the board.

"So, Tachibana-kun," the girl said, her voice suddenly in a whisper. Kanade raised a brow and leaned in closer to Makoto to listen. "Are you seeing anyone right now?"

"Eh?!" Makoto squeaked.

Kanade snorted and slapped a hand over her mouth. Makoto was too cute.

"S-Seeing anyone?" Makoto repeated.

"Yeah! Do you have a girlfriend?" she asked.

Kanade's annoyance came back at full speed.

 _Persistent. Annoying._

"Ah, n-no, I don't," Makoto said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Oh really?" the girl gasped.

The girl smiled brightly and ran her fingers through her long hair and Kanade scowled a little. Kanade ran her fingers through her shorter hair and got her fingers caught in a knot. She pouted when she finally got the knot undone.

"So, does this mean you're available?" she asked.

"A… Available?" Makoto asked, his voice getting a little high.

"Yeah, would… are you interested in going on a date… with me?" she asked, purposely lowering her voice to appear sky.

Kanade felt her heart drop. This girl was good. She knew exactly how to lure someone in with her fake charm.

Kanade sighed and looked down at her notes, feeling her plan to confess to Makoto crumble before her very eyes. Had she gotten it wrong? Maybe Makoto was just so out of it while he was sick that he did not realize he was kissing _her_. Maybe he was thinking of another girl?

Kanade felt sick again.

She picked up her pencil and started to scribble on her notebook, her cheek resting on her hand as she moped.

"Ah, sorry," Makoto said. Kanade jolted and turned her head to look at the back of Makoto's head. All Kanade could see was the girl's disappointed face. "There's… ah, well…" Makoto reached up to rub the back of his neck, his hand starting to rub the skin raw.

The girl lowered her brows and stared at Makoto. "There's someone you like, isn't there?" the girl asked plainly.

Makoto chuckled nervously, and Kanade could see a blush forming on his neck and ears.

"Yeah, there is," Makoto answered confidently. Kanade felt her cheeks burn and her eyes widened at his confident confession. Hope stirred in Kanade's belly and she almost felt giddy.

The girl stared at Makoto incredulously before sighing heavily and shrugging.

"Well, I tried. Guess there's no helping it," she said, and she turned back to her notes.

"Sorry," Makoto said to the girl with a nervous chuckle. Makoto turned back to face the desk and Kanade turned her head back to her notes, feeling the blush on her cheeks deepen. "Ah, the professor's late again, huh?" Makoto said to her, his voice a little shaken.

Kanade's lips curled into a nervous smile and she glanced at him. "Yeah, he… is."

They both stared at each other, noticing each other's reddened faces. They both felt their faces heat up even more and they turned to face the front of the room.

Kanade put her hand up to her cheek to hide her widening smile.

* * *

Beep….

 _"It's too late," Kanade mumbled._

Beep….

 _She opened the door, and beyond the door shone a bright light, almost blinding Makoto. Makoto shielded his eyes for a moment and then reached out his hand._

 _"Kanade!" he called._

Beep….

 _"KANADE!"_

Makoto sat up with a jolt, his body covered in a thin sheen of sweat. He glanced over at his alarm clock. It was a little past eight in the morning. He felt a little panic bubble in his stomach, but then he realized it was Saturday. He sighed and swung his feet off of his bed.

That dream… again. Why was it reoccurring again and again? It was plaguing his mind. What in the world did it mean?

With a heavy sigh, Makoto stood up from his bed and headed to his bedroom door, not bothering to change out of his pajamas. He walked out of his room and headed down the hallway towards the kitchen to get some water.

"Makotooo!"

Suddenly, a small body collided with his back and he felt arms wrap around his middle and settle on his stomach. His face flushed instantly and he felt butterflies in his stomach at the touch. He turned his head to look at the perpetrator.

Kanade poked her head out from the side and flashed him a huge smile, and Makoto felt his heart bounce against his ribcage. Kanade had her hair down and flowing around her shoulders. She was wearing a cute, button-up shirt and form-fitting jeans.

It was simple... but beautiful.

"Happy birthday!" she greeted, and her grin grew wider.

Makoto jumped, suddenly pulled back into reality. "Birthday?" he repeated.

Kanade let go of Makoto and he turned to face her. She gave him a puzzled look as she put her hands on her hips but kept her grin.

"What, you don't even remember your own birthday?" she asked.

Makoto blinked at her and then chuckled nervously, bringing up a hand to rub the back of his neck.

"I guess it slipped my mind," he said with a smile.

"Ohh?" Kanade said. "Well, get dressed! We have a full day today!"

Kanade walked down the hallway and towards the living room, leaving behind a baffled Makoto.

"Huh?! A full day?" Makoto asked, rushing up behind her. "What do you mean?"

Kanade just giggled at him and flashed him a huge smile.

"I've got surprises for you!" she said cheerfully.

"Surprises?" Makoto asked.

"Ugh, Makotooo!" Kanade groaned. She pushed on his arm and forced him back into his room. "No more questions! Just go get dressed!"

Makoto whined on his way to his room and got dressed. He chose a nice V-neck sweater with dark jeans. He yawned on his way back out to the living room but was immediately caught by Kanade's hand on his arm.

"Let's go, sleepyhead!" she said with a smirk.

Makoto blinked at her, his brows pushed together nervously.

"You seem awfully excited," he said as he was practically pushed out the door. "What's going on?"

Kanade giggled as she dragged him down the stairs. "We're just going to go and get breakfast. Stop worrying!"

"I'm not worrying!"

"Mhmmm."

Makoto pouted a little as he was dragged out of the apartment stairwell and past the rec center. She led Makoto down the street, her hand still clutching his arm. Makoto felt his face heat up at the extra contact but did not push her away.

Her touch could keep him warm for days.

They ended up at a familiar café, and Makoto racked his brain to try and place where he had seen this café before.

 _"Let me make it up to you!"_

 _"Tachibana, these are the best pastries in the city!"_

Then, it hit him.

This was the café that Kanade had taken him to when she ran into him all those months ago. He remembered Kanade taking him here and she told him all about her goals to be an Olympic athlete. He was so taken aback by her then.

But even now, he still felt entranced.

"This is…" Makoto started.

"Oh, you remember?" Kanade asked, flashing him a bright smile. "Let's go get some chocolate pastries!"

Makoto's eyes sparkled as Kanade led him into the café. They sat down at the same table they sat at so many months ago, and Makoto felt like he was dreaming. He remembered her white tracksuit and her black hoodie. He remembered her purple duffle bag and her damp hair. He remembered how her eyes sparkled as she found out about Makoto's swimming history and how he led the Iwatobi team to nationals as one of the smallest teams in the country.

As Makoto sat across from her now, her eyes shining as she took a bite of the chocolate pastry, he felt that he could do this for the rest of his life. Her blue eyes met his, and he felt his heart begin to race. He felt that he could get lost in those eyes, and he wished that this moment could last forever.

"Are they as good as you remember?" Kanade asked after she swallowed.

Makoto jolted out of his thoughts, his cheeks dusted pink. He nodded happily as he took another bite.

 _Oh, so good!_ Makoto thought.

Kanade smiled and finished off her plate. She glanced down at her empty plate and took a deep breath.

She could do this. No problem.

No… problem…

"Makoto," Kanade called softly.

Makoto wiped off his mouth with a napkin and stared at her with curious eyes. He cocked his head and gave her a gentle look.

"Hm?" he hummed.

Kanade bit her lip. Her hands curled into nervous fists in her lap as she squirmed in her seat.

"There's…" Kanade started. "I… well…"

"Kanade?" Makoto called. "You okay?" he asked.

Kanade stared into his concerned eyes. His gentle gaze was enough to make her melt and she stiffened.

 _Nope!_

"O-Okay, on to the next place!" Kanade announced, standing to her feet.

"Huh? Next place? You mean there's more?" Makoto asked, also standing. Kanade nodded and started to walk out of the café with Makoto in tow.

"Oh yeah! It's going to be—"

Suddenly, Makoto's phone rang in his pocket. Kanade stopped and watched him pull out his phone. Makoto's head cocked.

It was Haru.

"Hello?" Makoto answered.

"Makoto." Haru's voice sounded urgent.

"Haru? Are you okay?" Makoto asked.

"Something's happened. Can you meet me at the station near your university?"

"Oh, sure! Right! I'll be there in a second!" Makoto said. Makoto hung up the phone and turned to Kanade. "Something's wrong."

"Was that Nanase?" Kanade asked. Makoto nodded, his brows pushed together nervously. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"I don't know, but he told me to meet him at the station," Makoto said.

Kanade nodded. "Okay then. Let's go!" she said.

Makoto nodded firmly and they both rushed down the street and towards the university station. Makoto rounded the corner first with Kanade panting behind him. Makoto could see Haru standing in front of the station with his hands in his pockets.

"Haru!" Makoto called.

Haru looked up and their eyes met. Makoto felt his stomach lighten. Haru seemed… normal?

Makoto came to a stop in front of his best friend and tried to catch his breath. Kanade was a few seconds behind, hunching over on her knees when she finally caught up.

"What's wrong, Haru?" Makoto asked. "What happened?"

Haru blinked at him for a moment, his eyes briefly flitting to look at Kanade. Kanade jumped and then deadpanned, waiting for Haru to continue. Makoto followed his gaze and then stared back at Haru, his eyes questioning.

"Haru, what's going on?" Makoto pressed. "You said something happened."

Haru pursed his lips. "Well… something _did_ happen."

"What is it?" Makoto asked again, feeling exasperated at this point. "Haru, I'm getting worried here, what is happen—"

" **Onii-chan!** "

" **Mako-chan!** "

Makoto jumped at the sound. He whirled around and his eyes widened.

Standing in front of him was his family along with Nagisa and Rei.

"Guys…" Makoto whispered. "What… what are you—"

"Makoto," Haru said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "We have something to tell you."

Haru and Kanade both joined his friends and family and they all looked at each other before taking a big breath.

" **Happy birthday**!" they all shouted in unison.

Makoto blinked at them and jumped.

His face brightened into the largest smile Kanade had ever seen.

* * *

Kanade led the group to a huge arcade center in Tokyo. The twins were ecstatic as they rushed to look at some games, and Nagisa dragged Rei to one of the machines. Kanade joined them and challenged Nagisa to a game, to which he immediately accepted.

Makoto stared at them, still in shock, but a warm smile was on his face. Haru came and stood by his side.

"This is so crazy," Makoto said. "Having people I love here on my birthday… this is probably the best present I've could've gotten."

Makoto gave his signature head-tilt and smile and Haru put on a small smile himself.

"Yeah," Haru agreed.

"How did you do this?" Makoto asked, putting his hands on his hips and watching his brother and sister playing on one of the games. "I mean, getting everyone here and coordinating everyone's schedule… how did you—"

"I didn't," Haru interrupted. Makoto turned his head sharply to look curiously at his best friend. "It was all Shizumi."

Makoto felt his heart flutter. _Kanade?_

"Kanade planned all this?" Makoto asked, his hands falling to his sides. Haru nodded in response.

"She called them all and planned it a couple of weeks ago," Haru said. "They can only stay for the day, with your parent's work and Rei and Nagisa's school. Kanade offered to have them stay the night, but they simply couldn't. So, she decided that even though it was only for a few hours, it would be worth it."

Makoto turned to look back at the group. His brother and sister were currently playing a racing game with his parents. They were laughing and having a good time. He was unsure if his siblings had ever been to such a huge arcade in their whole lives.

His eyes flitted over to the shooting games, where Rei was fussing about how "not beautiful" the game dynamics were. Nagisa was standing next to him and laughing hysterically had how bad Rei was doing, and Rei would tell him to shut up every now and then.

Then, his eyes landed on Kanade. Kanade was playing the shooting game with Rei. She had a huge smile on her face, laughing at Rei's antics and Nagisa's teasing. Her laugh and smile were bright and beautiful, and once again, Makoto felt his heart dance in his chest.

 _She did all of this… for me?_

Makoto reached up and clutched his chest.

"Well, I guess we could go play something," Haru said suddenly, pulling Makoto out of his thoughts.

Makoto smiled and nodded.

"You're on!"

* * *

After games and lunch, the group walked over to the rec center, where everyone changed into their swimsuits. Kanade switched into her lifeguard uniform and fussed about how she still had to work a shift for a few hours.

Makoto giggled at her. "You can still hang out with us, so don't worry," Makoto said sweetly.

Kanade smiled at him and nodded. She headed for the lifeguard post, and Makoto could not help but stare. The red suit fitted her so perfectly. And those red shorts…

"Did you ask her out, yet?"

Makoto jerked and turned his head to meet his father. His dad chuckled, noticing his son's flustered face.

"Still as jumpy as ever," his dad teased and Makoto whined. "Well? Have you asked her out?"

"Ah, w-well, no…"

His dad sighed a little and shook his head. "Man, and I was hoping to have a daughter-in-law in the near future."

" _Dad!"_

His dad chuckled and smiled. "I'm teasing," he said. "But in all seriousness, Makoto. What are you afraid of?" his dad asked.

Makoto scratched his cheek. "I… don't know."

The words would not come. Makoto blanked and hung his head, feeling a little trapped and confused. It was mostly because he had never dated anyone before. Sure, he had a few crushes every now and then, but he was never brave enough to act on those feelings. And with Kanade... he did not want to mess anything up.

A hand touched his shoulder and Makoto looked up at his dad.

"That's okay," his dad said. He patted Makoto's back and headed towards the pool. "Just do it soon!"

Makoto flushed. His gaze travelled up to the lifeguard stand and he saw Kanade sitting at the top with a whistle hanging around her neck. She was observing some of the kids in the shallow end of the pool, her head turning until she locked eyes with Makoto. She smiled brightly and waved at him.

Makoto flushed.

How many times will his heart stop today?

* * *

After a few hours of swimming, and a few relays with the old Iwatobi team, the group moved to a private room in the rec center where a big cake was sitting. The words "Happy Birthday" were written across the top along with Makoto's name.

And of course, the cake was chocolate.

They celebrated until the sun had nearly set. Then, his family and friends reluctantly got packed up to leave.

"Thank you for coming," Makoto said, hugging his mom tightly. His dad walked beside him and patted his shoulder.

"Of course," his dad said.

"Visit us soon!" his mom said with a teary-eyed smile.

"I will," Makoto said, a smile on his face.

His siblings also gave Makoto a squeezing hug and said their tearful goodbyes.

Nagisa practically jumped on top of Makoto and Rei jumped in for a hug as well. They promised they would come and visit soon again when more college activities came up.

Makoto, Kanade, and Haru walked them out and they stood in front of the rec center to watch them leave.

"Bye, guys!" Makoto waved to everyone as they left.

"Bye, Mako-chan! Haru-chan! Kana-chan!" Nagisa chirped as he and Rei headed for the station.

"Happy birthday, Makoto-senpai!" Rei called back.

Kanade, Makoto, and Haru waved at them as they left. Haru turned to Makoto and said he'll get his bag, giving Kanade a sideways glance before entering the building. Kanade's face flushed, feeling the pressure.

Kanade had two more things planned that evening. First, she wanted to go to Haru's university and enjoy the open movie night that they had scheduled in the main campus theater. Haru's suggestion.

Second, Kanade had to confess her feelings.

No pressure at all…

"Thank you," Makoto said suddenly. Kanade jolted and turned to look up at Makoto.

"F-For what?" Kanade stuttered. Makoto chuckled and put a hand on his hip.

"Haru told me that you planned all this," Makoto said.

Kanade blinked at him and then blushed, raising a hand to rub the back of her neck.

"Y-Yeah, I guess," Kanade chuckled nervously. "Nanase was a big help, too."

Makoto chuckled and he turned to look up at the night sky. He bumped his arm against hers and left it there. Kanade felt her face heat up again at his closeness. She could feel his warmth from his arm, his muscles solid and sturdy against her thinner arm.

She turned her head to look up at him. His lips were pressed together nervously and he wore a blush on his cheeks. The few stars that were in the sky reflected off of his green eyes and Kanade felt that she could get lost in those eyes.

She wanted to get lost in them.

She wanted to be with him.

Forever.

"Makoto," Kanade called, tugging on his sleeve. Makoto turned and faced her, his smile gentle and fond.

"Hm?" he hummed.

Kanade glanced down at the ground to avoid his gaze. She fiddled with the hem of her shirt and squirmed.

"Makoto, I…" Kanade peered up Makoto's face. Her breath hitched in her chest as he tilted his head and smiled at her. His green eyes were soft and warm. "I…"

"Makoto."

Kanade flinched away from Makoto and stared at the ground. Haru had returned from the rec center, carrying both his bag and Kanade's.

"Oh, Haru, there you are. Ready to go?" Makoto asked. Haru nodded and handed Kanade her bag. She quietly thanked him and took the bag from him.

They started to walk towards the station, Kanade holding her bag close. Makoto's presents were hiding inside but she wanted to wait for the right moment to give them to him.

"Thank you both for today," Makoto said. "It was a lot of fun."

"Mmn," Haru hummed with a smile.

"I'm surprised you didn't get a cake with mackerel again!" Makoto said.

"We wanted to," both Kanade and Haru said in unison.

Makoto chuckled again and lifted a hand to wipe his face. His genuine laugh made Kanade's chest bubble, and she started to laugh, too.

Maybe this would not be as hard as she thought.

She could confess to him.

She could do this!

She could—

" **Fancy meetin' you here**."

Kanade froze in her tracks while Makoto and Haru whirled around.

That voice was eerily familiar.

Too familiar.

Kanade slowly turned her head back and she felt her stomach drop.

 **…Takuya?**


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

* * *

"Fancy meetin' you here."

…Takuya

Standing behind them was Takuya, a beer bottle in his hand and a look of disgust painted on his face. His black hair was a mess and his clothes slightly disheveled.

Haru's brows lowered over his eyes, anger starting to bubble in his chest. His hand reached for his phone in his pocket.

"T…Takuya?" Kanade whispered.

Makoto glanced back at Kanade and saw her cowering, her eyes swirling with fear.

"Kanade? Who is this?" Makoto asked.

"Y-Yeah, _Kanade_ ," Takuya slurred. He hiccupped. "Yous gonna introduce me?"

Kanade took a step back and it set off alarm bells in Makoto's head. He took a step forward towards Kanade.

"Kanade, what's—"

But then, his arm was grabbed and he was pulled back. Makoto turned and saw Haru's leery face.

"Haru?" Makoto whispered. Haru shook his head at him and Makoto was only more confused. All he knew was that this guy looked like bad news.

Makoto whirled around to face Takuya and his hands curled into fists. Makoto could feel his pulse start to rise and his legs started to quake.

"C'monn, _babe_ ," Takuya sneered. He walked up to Kanade and grabbed her forearm hard. She gasped under his touch and yelped as he dragged her close.

"Oi!" Haru yelled, releasing Makoto.

"Kanade!" Makoto yelled, and he took a step forward, reaching out his hand. But Kanade turned back and gave him a pleading look while shaking her head, and he stopped and lowered his hand helplessly.

"Don't you wanna share our history with your new friends?" Takuya slurred again. His breath reeked of alcohol.

"L-Let go," Kanade whimpered.

In a drunken fit, Takuya jerked Kanade's arm up, making her stumble into his chest. She turned around and tried to get away from him, but he draped his arm over her and held her close. Kanade risked a glance at Haru and then Makoto, noticing their angered faces.

"You know," he whispered into her ear. His breath on her neck sent shivers down her spine and her eyes widened in fear. "The reason I'm not at school anymore is 'cause of my drinking and uh… violence 'er somethin," he said. He squeezed her shoulder hard and Kanade whimpered under his touch. "Should you really be runnin' away from me?"

"Hey!" Makoto yelled, and Takuya whipped his head up. Kanade glanced at him and shook her head, a fearful look on her face. "Let her go," Makoto commanded.

"Huh? Hell no, I'm not listenin' to the likes o' you," Takuya growled. He leaned down and pressed his nose to Kanade's neck and she shivered, moving her head away from him.

Makoto could feel his blood boiling in his veins. His mind was brought back to the restaurant when that robber had hit her. At that point, he lost it, and he was starting to feel the rage coming back to him.

"You really broke me, I guess," Takuya sneered. "I was such a mess after we broke up. Guess it got to me, huh?" He brushed his lips along Kanade's neck and she shut her eyes tight, forcing tears to fall down her cheeks.

"Let. Her. Go." Makoto's voice became more threatening, and even Haru glanced over to see Makoto seething. Haru's eyes widened in shock. Was Makoto… threatening him? Was this how he was when he fought off that robber at the restaurant?

When did Makoto get so brave?

Takuya's brow quirked and pulled Kanade away from him and shoved her to the building. She fell against it but managed to catch herself. Her breaths became raspy as her body shook.

"Kanade!" Makoto gasped.

Takuya stumbled over to her and grabbed her hair hard, and Kanade yelped at the pain. He pushed her head against the building, her trembling body unable to move. He lifted the beer bottle in his hand back and over his head, threatening to slam it down on top of Kanade's head.

 _What is wrong with him?! He was never this violent before… since when did he start drinking?_

Kanade's eyes widened at seeing the bottle above his head and she shut her eyes tight, bracing for impact.

 _This is all wrong!_

The bottle started downwards.

 _Please! Help me!_

 _Makoto!_

Suddenly, she heard quick footsteps rush by her side followed by a grunt. She peered up through squinted eyes. Her heart jumped when she saw Makoto standing there, his hand gripping Takuya's wrist. Makoto was staring down hard at Takuya, making his frame look large and intimidating.

"Let her go. Now," Makoto threatened in a low voice.

Takuya stared at Makoto with a disgruntled expression and he reluctantly let go of Kanade's hair. Kanade slumped down to the ground and held her arms. After shooting Takuya another harsh look, Makoto shoved his wrist back and then immediately turned his attention down to Kanade. He knelt down to her and brushed her hair back into place.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice gentle but concerned. Kanade's eyes narrowed sadly and she nodded slowly. Makoto sighed calmly and pushed a few stray hairs behind Kanade's ear. "Let's go home, okay?"

Kanade hesitated, but then she nodded, her eyes locking onto his. Makoto smiled at her gently, about to stand up.

But then, he heard Haru's voice.

"Makoto, watch out!"

Suddenly, there was a scuffle of feet and a grunt. Makoto whirled around and saw Haru struggling with Takuya, both of his hands gripping the wrist that held the glass bottle. Makoto's eyes widened, realizing that Takuya had almost clocked him with that bottle.

Takuya fought off Haru and shoved Haru to the ground, and Haru fell sideways on the ground. He landed with a harsh grunt, his hand lifting to press against his head where it made contact with the sidewalk.

Takuya approached him and grabbed a fistful of Haru's shirt, rearing the beer bottle back over his head.

"Haru!" Makoto yelled, and he jumped forward to grab Takuya's wrist, stopping him from hitting Haru.

Takuya reeled, jerking his wrist out of Makoto's grasp and flinging the bottle backward. The bottle smashed against the streetlamp, breaking the bottom of the bottle off and leaving sharp, jagged edges. Takuya stared down at the bottle for a moment and then back to Makoto, gritting his teeth.

Takuya swung the sharp bottle towards Makoto, and Makoto jumped back, the sharp edges barely missing his chest. Takuya lunged forward and swung again, the jagged edge grazing Makoto's cheek.

Makoto yelped and felt the stinging pain on his cheek. He dodged another one of Takuya's swings, but he lost his balance in the process, and he fell backwards onto his back. He watched with wide eyes as Takuya hovered over him and reared the bottle back over his head.

Suddenly, he heard a yell, and a tiny body stepped in between to grab Takuya's wrist.

"Takuya, that's enough!" Kanade yelled. She scratched at his fingers, trying to grab the bottle from his hand. "He has nothing to do with this, just leave him alone!" Kanade yelled.

"Back off!" Takuya growled, and he tried to shove her away. But Kanade clung onto his wrist, desperately trying to rip bottle from his grasp. "Dammit," he slurred. "I said _back off!_ "

Takuya shoved Kanade backwards and pushed her back until her back hit the wall painfully, knocking the wind out of her completely. She yelped in pain and then slid to the ground, her hand clutching her chest.

"Kanade!" Makoto yelled.

Makoto felt something snap inside of him. Images of Kanade being slapped by the robber in the restaurant flooded his mind. His body started to move on its own as he scrambled to his feet and lunged towards Takuya, tackling him to the ground.

They both struggled for control over the jagged beer bottle, Makoto taking a few swift kicks to his side. He flinched every time Takuya's foot made contact with his side.

They were both fairly close to the same height, but Makoto had muscles on his side. He gripped Takuya's wrist and yanked the beer bottle out of his hand. He threw the bottle down the sidewalk and tried to stand, but Takuya reached forward and grabbed Makoto's collar, pushing Makoto to the ground and landing on top of him.

"Why're _you_ the one who gets her, huh?" Takuya spat in his drunken rage. "You don't know anythin' about her!"

"I know enough," Makoto said calmly. "I know that she doesn't deserve someone like you!"

Makoto pushed against him and stood to his feet, yanking Takuya up by his collar. Takuya tried to throw a punch, but Makoto caught his wrist and threw his whole body back. Takuya stumbled backwards and hit his head on the same streetlamp that he smashed his beer bottle against, and then he crumpled to the ground.

Makoto panted, watching Takuya for a moment. Once he realized that Takuya was out cold, he took a knee and held his throbbing side.

Haru's eyes widened and he peeled himself off of the pavement. He fought off the dizziness and was by Makoto's side in an instant, crouching down beside him.

"Are you all right?" Haru asked Makoto, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah," Makoto panted. "I'm… fine, just a little sore." Makoto glanced up at Haru and rubbed his aching side. "What about you?"

"I'm fine," Haru answered. He put his hand underneath Makoto's chin and lifted up his head to peer at his cut. "You're bleeding."

"Ugh," Makoto grunted, holding his side. "I'm fine, I'm fine," Makoto said. "But we should really call for—"

"Ma… Mako…"

Makoto and Haru sharply turned their heads towards the sound of gasping and wheezing. Kanade was still sitting on the ground, her back leaning against the building. She was holding her left arm and was wheezing terribly.

"Kanade!" Makoto yelled, frightened. He forced himself up despite his tender side and rushed to her, taking a knee by her side. He put a hand on her shoulder and tried to make eye contact with her. "What hurts?"

Kanade wheezed again and squeezed her eyes shut. She gripped her arm and whimpered out a weak, "My… chest."

Makoto gasped and then frantically searched his pockets for his phone. His chest felt cold when he could not feel anything in his pockets.

 _Where is it?!_

"Makoto," Haru called, placing a hand on Makoto's shoulder. Makoto turned his head to look up at his friend, his blue eyes wide and panicked. "What's—"

"We need to get her to the hospital," Makoto said breathlessly. "Do you have your phone? Call for help." Haru blinked at him for a moment, as if caught in a daze. "Haru!" Makoto yelled, jolting Haru out of his stupor. Haru nodded and dug into his pocket for his phone. With shaking fingers, he pressed down on the keypad.

Makoto turned back to look at Kanade who was still wheezing and gripping her arm. Her face contorted in pain as she tried to gasp for air. She could faintly hear Haru's voice talking on the phone in the background.

"Kanade, breathe," Makoto said. "Here."

Makoto gently grabbed her shoulders and helped her to lay down flat on her back. His hand cradled her head and she struggled to open her eyes. She moved her hand to clutch at her chest and another wheeze escaped her lips.

"Breathe, Kanade," Makoto repeated. "Just take it easy. _Please_."

"M… Mako…to…" Kanade felt tears in her eyes, her heart thudding haphazardly in her chest.

"Shh," Makoto said, stroking her hair. "Don't speak."

"I'm… ss… sorr—"

"Don't you dare apologize," Makoto interrupted gently. "Just rest. I've got you."

Kanade whimpered and shut her eyes tight, squeezing out hot tears. Makoto simply brushed them away and continued to tell her to breathe with him.

"They're sending an ambulance," Haru said, crouching down next to Makoto.

"Okay. Okay, good," Makoto said, nodding. He paused, looking over his shoulder at the unconscious Takuya. He grimaced and then looked back to Haru.

"Haru," he called. Haru looked at him seriously, his eyes still a little wide. "Call the police."

* * *

The hospital was crowded as usual. There were doctors and nurses floating about in their sparkling white lab coats and scrubs, and muffled crying and talking could be heard in the distance.

Makoto and Haru found themselves in the waiting room, both faces tired from the long day. Makoto had called Fukui and he was on his way.

Haru glanced over at Makoto, who was leaning his head back against the wall with his eyes staring at the ceiling. His fists were shaking a little in his lap, but his frame seemed calm.

"Makoto," Haru called. Makoto lifted his head from the wall and looked at Haru, his green eyes wide and attentive. "You okay?"

Makoto blinked a few times but then smiled. "Ah, mmn," Makoto hummed. "The EMT's in the ambulance said that it didn't look too bad, so she should be fine," Makoto said shakily. His voice even cracked a few times.

His smile fell as soon as he was done talking and he hung his head. He reached up to rub his face and he winced when he rubbed over his cut on his cheek.

"You should get that stitched up," Haru said. Makoto chuckled softly, letting his hands rest in his lap.

"Mmn," he hummed with a small, sad smile.

They sat in relatively comfortable silence as they listened to the bustling of the nurses and doctors.

Haru kept glancing back at Makoto to see if he was still really there. Flashes of Makoto lunging at that guy came to his mind, and he was still in disbelief. He knew Makoto would risk his life for anyone else, but this is _Makoto_. The guy who is afraid of the dark. The guy who startles easy. The guy who believes Nagisa's stupid ghost stories.

But… the guy Haru saw today… was someone completely different.

"You've changed a lot," Haru said suddenly.

"Eh?" Makoto squeaked, turning his head to look at him.

"You're… braver, or something," Haru said.

"Braver?" Makoto asked, cocking his head.

"Yeah," Haru said. He looked down in his lap. "The way you took out that guy today. It was like you showed no fear. You've… you've really grown up."

Makoto's eyes widened in shock. "Haru?" he whispered.

"But…" Haru started. He bit his lip and his fists clenched in his lap. His brows furrowed and his eyes narrowed. "… don't do that again."

"Haru…" Makoto whispered, suddenly worried about his distressed friend. He sighed lightly and smiled, grateful that Haru cared. "Mmn. I won't. Promise."

Haru looked up at him, his face softening, and he gave Makoto a firm nod. Makoto smiled and chuckled a little before standing to his feet.

"I'm going to go use the restroom. I'll be back in a minute," Makoto said, walking towards the bathroom just down the hall. Haru nodded at him and watched him leave.

Makoto shaking hand pushed the door open to the restroom and he headed towards a sink. He grabbed the sink and stared at his reflection in the mirror.

 _"Ma… Mako…"_

 _"My… chest."_

 _"I'm… ss… sorr—"_

Makoto felt his frame start to tremble, his hands gripping the sides of the sink until his knuckles turned white. Tears sprung to his eyes and started to slide down his cheeks.

 _"L-Let go…"_

 _"Makoto, watch out!"_

 _"You've changed… you're braver, or something."_

Makoto let out a noise that was a mixture of a laugh and a sob. He hung his head and shut his eyes tight.

 _Haru, I'm not brave at all,_ Makoto thought. _I was actually… terrified._

Makoto let go of the sink and hugged himself, his fingers digging into his arms. He leaned against the wall next to the sink and slid down to the floor. He buried his head into his knees and shook lightly, his mind only thinking of Kanade.

* * *

Fukui rushed into the hospital doors and brushed past people who stood in the way. He glanced around, his mind running a million miles a second. Front desk. He had to get to the front desk. Right.

Fukui pushed past a few loitering doctors to reach the crowded front desk. The nurse at the station raised a brow at his disheveled state but relaxed when he asked for a name.

"Shizumi," he said. "Shizumi Kanade."

"Shizumi…" the nurse said under her breath. "Ah. They managed to get the block and they slowed down her heart. She should recovery nicely."

Fukui sighed in relief, raising a hand to run through his gray hair.

"But, Dr. Koji wants to speak with her guardian," she said.

Fukui dropped his hand by his side. His stomach churned and twisted with knots. This did not sound good.

"Fukui-san!"

Fukui whirled around from the desk and saw Makoto quickly approaching him. Fukui sighed in relief and he rushed to meet him.

"Is… is she okay?" Makoto asked. His eyes were red and the skin underneath them was raw. Fukui winced. Makoto had been crying.

"I just asked the nurses and they said she should be fine," Fukui said.

Makoto visibly relaxed. His shoulders fell and his head hung and he let out a long, shaking sigh.

"Thank goodness," he whimpered out. He raised his hands to hide his face for a moment before lifting up his head to give Fukui a small smile.

Fukui stared at his face and noticed a white bandage on his cheek.

"What happened?" Fukui asked, pointing at Makoto's cheek.

Makoto lifted a hand to brush the bandage and he shifted his gaze to stare at the ground.

"Takuya," Makoto answered softly.

Fukui's eyes widened and his hands curled into tight fists by his sides. His brows lowered and he felt rage start to bubble inside of his chest.

"Where is he?" he said in a low voice. "Where is that bastard?"

"He was arrested."

Both Makoto and Fukui turned to look at Haru, who had now joined them.

"Haru," Makoto whispered.

Fukui stared at Haru and then he pushed his brows together.

"Arrested?" he repeated.

Haru nodded. "He was drunk and he attacked, but Makoto protected us."

Fukui turned back to look at Makoto with soft eyes and a thankful smile. He put his hand on Makoto's shoulder and squeezed.

"Thank you, son," he said softly.

Makoto hesitated, and then he hung his head, guilt eating away at him. He nodded at Fukui.

"Fukui-san."

Fukui dropped his hand from Makoto's shoulder and turned around to see Dr. Koji standing behind him with a worried expression on his face.

"Dr. Koji," Fukui said quietly. There was a moment of silence before Fukui spoke up again. "How is she?" he asked urgently. Makoto and Haru stood close to listen.

Dr. Koji rubbed the back of his head. "She's awake now, but seems to be in quite a bit of pain."

"She's awake?!" Makoto asked frantically.

Dr. Koji looked at Makoto and nodded solemnly. He then turned to Fukui and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Fukui-san… can I speak to you for a moment?" he asked.

Fukui paused and stared at Dr. Koji. He felt his stomach churn uneasily as Dr. Koji's face twisted in guilt. Fukui took a deep breath and nodded. He took a step and started to follow Dr. Koji.

"W-Wait!"

Fukui and Dr. Koji turned around to look at Makoto. He had his arm outstretched as if trying to pull them back. He was wincing, and his outstretched hand shook in the air.

"Makoto…" Haru whispered.

Makoto lowered his hand to his side and took a shuddering breath.

"Can I see her?" Makoto asked. Dr. Koji winced and hesitated, feeling Fukui's eyes on him. " _Please,"_ Makoto begged.

Dr. Koji locked eyes with Makoto and sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Let me check with a nurse to make sure, but I suppose it couldn't hurt," Dr. Koji said. Makoto's face relaxed and he sighed in relief. "But, only one visitor at a time."

Makoto turned to Haru and Haru nodded firmly at him. Makoto gave him a thankful smile and turned back to Dr. Koji.

"Of course."

* * *

Makoto and Haru sat in the waiting room for a few more minutes before a nurse came to get them. She led them down a hallway and towards the Intensive Care wing of the hospital.

"Only one person at a time," the nurse said she eyed the two of them.

They both nodded, understanding the severity of the situation.

"Good. It's the third room on the left. Room 206," the nurse said.

"Thank you," Makoto said, and the nurse walked back down the hallway.

Makoto paused, his eyes staring at the number 206 that was just down the hall.

"Makoto," Haru called, pulling Makoto out of his thoughts.

Makoto smiled weakly at Haru, his happy face starting to crumble before Haru's eyes. Haru could see it. The pain that Makoto was hiding was clearly there, but once again, Makoto tried to hide it.

Haru's brows creased and he lifted a hand to touch Makoto's shoulder.

"Makoto," Haru called again, squeezing his shoulder. "She'll be fine. Now, go."

Makoto's smile fell, and finally, _finally_ , Haru could see the exhaustion in his eyes. He nodded and took a step towards the door.

Images of Kanade panicking and breathing on the cold sidewalk made Makoto's heart jump wildly in his chest. Her lungs heaving for air as she clutched her chest…

He had to see her.

Now.

Makoto rushed to the door and he walked in, his chest sinking when he saw her. She was lying back in the inclined bed, an oxygen mask covering her nose and mouth. Her head turned to look towards the door and her eyes widened when she saw Makoto standing at the doorway. Her body shuddered and shook as tears pricked her eyes.

" _Makoto_ …" Kanade rasped, her voice pleading. A few slick tears slid down her cheeks and she struggled to breathe as her air hitched in her throbbing chest.

Makoto felt his heart drop and he quickly came to her side and stroked her hair and wiped the tears away.

"Shh," Makoto shushed. He rubbed her cheeks.

"I'm so… sorry," Kanade whimpered out.

"Don't apologize," Makoto said gently. "Just rest. Relax. Everything is okay."

"I…" Kanade hiccupped and tried to calm her straining lungs. "I… ruined your birthday."

"No," Makoto said, shaking his head. "None of this was your fault."

"I'm s… sorry," Kanade hiccupped.

Makoto glanced up at the heart monitor noticed that her heart rate was climbing. A few nurses outside the room were eyeing him carefully, and Makoto knew he had to get her to calm down. He faced her and cupped both of her cheeks in his hands.

"Kanade, breathe," Makoto said. "Breathe. Just like you did with me, remember?"

Kanade's brows twitched and she took slow, wheezing breaths.

"Remember? Back when I was having panic attacks?" Makoto asked again when she did not respond.

Kanade nodded slowly and Makoto smiled.

"You were so good at calming me down, then," Makoto said. "I'm so thankful for that. But now it's your turn. Breathe."

Kanade's breathing was still wheezing but her heart rate was slowly coming down. With shaking hands, Makoto reached out and stroked Kanade's hair.

"That's it," Makoto said, his voice quivering with nerves. "Relax. Breathe."

Kanade took a long, slow deep breath through her oxygen mask and huffed out a sigh. Her hands were shaking by her sides and Makoto fumbled his hand around to find them and squeeze them while keeping his eyes locked onto hers.

"You're okay," Makoto assured. "I'm here."

Kanade's breaths finally relaxed into a small rasp and her heart rate settled at a shaky 76 beats per minute. It was still a little fast, but it was miles better than earlier.

Makoto huffed out a relieved sigh and slumped down in the chair next to Kanade's bed. He still held onto one of her hands, her fingers still shaking in his grasp.

"Makoto," Kanade called out with a scratchy voice. She reached out her hand and touched Makoto's cheek, her thumb gently rubbing the skin underneath the white bandage. "Your face…" she said softly.

Makoto felt the sting on his cheek all over again and he gave her a reassuring smile.

"It's fine," he said. "Just a few stitches. It doesn't hurt that much."

"You… okay?" Kanade asked, keeping her hand on his cheek. Makoto nodded and hummed. "What about N… Nanase?"

"He's fine. He hit his head on the ground a little, but the doctors said he's fine," Makoto answered. Kanade took a slow breath.

"And… Takuya?" she asked, taking a long pause before bringing up his name. The name tasted like bile on her tongue and guilt churned her stomach.

Makoto grimaced, remembering Takuya regaining consciousness and then throwing up right before he was taken into custody.

"He was arrested," Makoto informed. Kanade held her breath and for a moment, her face looked shocked and pained. But then, it smoothed out into relief as she dropped her hand from Makoto's face and gripped his hand.

"Good," she said softly. She released a shuddering breath and closed her eyes briefly. "What… time is it?" she asked.

Makoto glanced down at his watch. "It's about 11:30."

Kanade's eyes popped open and she turned her head to look at him. "It's… almost… midnight?" she asked, taking raspy breaths between each word.

Makoto nodded slowly and Kanade grimaced. She struggled to push herself into sitting position, but Makoto stopped her and instead pushed the button on the bed to incline it further. Kanade pointed to her bag sitting in a chair in the corner.

"My bag," she said.

Makoto followed her finger and glanced back at her bag.

"Your bag?" Makoto asked, turning back to meet her gaze. "Haru brought it when you dropped it."

"Can you… get it?" Kanade asked. Makoto's brows lifted and he stood to his feet. He grabbed the bag and then sat back down by Kanade's side. "Open it," Kanade told him.

"Hm? Open it?" Makoto echoed.

Kanade nodded weakly and Makoto grabbed the zipper and started to open the bag.

"Your presents…" Kanade wheezed.

Makoto's hand froze and he snapped his head up to look at Kanade.

"Presents?" he asked.

"For… your birthday," Kanade replied.

Makoto felt his chest constrict. "You got me something for my birthday?"

Kanade nodded and wheezed through the oxygen mask.

"Kanade…" Makoto said, his hand still frozen on the zipper. "You've already given me so much."

" _Please_ ," Kanade said. She stared at him with her blue eyes shimmering.

Makoto gulped and then looked back down at the bag. His hand moved the zipper and opened up the bag. His eyes widened when he saw two wrapped boxes inside.

"Open them," Kanade said. Her voice was getting tired.

Makoto picked up the bigger box that was wrapped in green wrapping paper. He quietly tore open the paper and opened up the box. His eyes widened when he saw a green coat sitting inside.

"Kanade, this is for me?" Makoto asked, taking the coat out of the box.

The material was thick and the inside lining was warm. There was a pair of gloves sitting in one of the many pockets, and a wool hat had been carefully folded and placed in the hood.

A small smile formed on her face. "You don't… seem to like… the cold."

Makoto smiled and hugged the coat to his chest, staring at Kanade with sweet eyes.

"Thank you," he said happily.

Kanade nodded to the bag. "There's more," she told him.

Makoto blinked at her for a second and then folded the coat on his lap. He pulled out another box that was wrapped in white paper, and he carefully tore it open.

Inside was a binder. Makoto picked up the binder and opened it up, his jaw dropping.

"This is…" Makoto started. He heard Kanade release a hoarse chuckle.

"Pictures… from… training camp," she answered for him. "Got them… from Gou."

Makoto flipped through the pages of the pictures, finding several pictures of the new Iwatobi team hanging out with Kanade and Haru. Rin was in quite a few of them, showing off his cheeky grin. Dai looked distressed in the first couple of pictures, but in the last few pictures, he had a huge grin on his face. There were several pictures of Makoto and Kanade together, and Makoto's heart jumped every time he saw one.

There were also several pictures of Makoto and Kanade together, and Makoto's heart jumped every time he saw one.

"Look under… the binder," Kanade said.

Makoto lifted the binder up from the box and saw a picture frame sitting underneath. His breath hitched in his chest as he studied the picture.

It was the picture of their relay team at nationals.

There was Rei and Nagisa, both with teary-eyed smiles and red cheeks. Nagisa was giving a peace sign, and even Haru had a small smile on his face.

"I asked… Sasabe-san to… send me a copy," Kanade said. Makoto snapped his head up to look at Kanade. "You said that… the apartment needed… more pictures, so…" Kanade paused to catch her breath. "So, I thought that… you should have some memories to… put up."

Makoto blinked as tears pricked at his eyes. He stared down at the picture of his old team and the open binder of the training camp. There was a picture of him and Kanade sitting on the beach together, laughing and smiling brightly. He ran his finger down Kanade's cheek in the picture, and he felt his heart swell.

 _She did this… all for me._

"There was… something else I… wanted to tell you…" Kanade started.

 _She went through so many hurdles and now she's sitting here in pain…_

"I've been… wanting to… tell you…"

 _And she_ still _is trying to make me smile. Even now, when she's the one who needs comfort…_

 _She still is the one who cares so much about me._

Makoto knew Kanade was saying something to him, but his thoughts muffled out the sound of her voice. He was too determined, too focused on what he knew he had to do that her words became lost.

He stood to his feet, cutting off Kanade's words. He put down the binder and picture frame on his chair and stood by her bedside. He leaned down over her and he carefully removed the oxygen mask from her face. He cupped her cheek and Kanade stared up at him with a curious look.

"Makoto, what's—"

Makoto pressed his lips against hers. shutting her up instantly. Kanade's eyes widened in shock.

Kanade's eyes widened in shock.

Was this really happening?!

Makoto pulled back, his face flushed and the tips of his ears reddened with embarrassment. He hung his head and avoided her gaze, and Kanade could feel his hand shaking by her cheek.

"I… I like you."

Kanade jumped at hearing those words and her eyes widened. She struggled to breathe, her heart threatening to explode from her chest.

"I really… really like you," Makoto said, his voice trembling with nerves.

Kanade blinked at him, trying to let her heart settle. She felt her lips curl into a smile and she reached up to grab the collar of Makoto's shirt. Makoto's head snapped up, his cheeks still red, and Kanade pulled him close.

"That's… unfair," Kanade said softly. "You beat… me to it."

Kanade pulled Makoto close and she kissed him. Makoto's heart skipped a beat and then he closed his eyes to return the kiss. Her lips were soft and a little chapped, but oh so warm. His tongue flitted against her bottom lip and her breath hitched slightly, and Makoto pulled back to look down at her glazed eyes. Her heart rate

Makoto's heart skipped a beat and then he closed his eyes to return the kiss. Her lips were soft and a little chapped, but oh so warm. His tongue flitted against her bottom lip and her breath hitched slightly, and Makoto pulled back to look down at her glazed eyes. Her heart rate sped up ever so slightly but Makoto could see a smile on her face.

"What... time is it?" Kanade asked again.

Makoto glanced down at his watch. "11:59."

"Makoto."

"Hm?"

"I like you, too."

Makoto blinked at her and blushed, feeling his lips twitch into an embarrassed smile. He leaned down to her and kissed her cheek.

"Happy... b... birthday, Makoto," Kanade said. She heard Makoto chuckle lightly by her ear and he kissed her cheek again. He leaned back to lean his forehead against hers and he smiled at her.

"Best birthday ever," he said confidently.

Kanade smiled at him.

From outside the room, Haru watched with a small smile on his face. He watched as Makoto pulled Kanade in for a hug, and Kanade had a teary-eyed smile on her face. Haru sighed, feeling some relief wash over him.

"Are you serious?!"

Haru turned around at the sudden gasp and saw Fukui and Dr. Koji. Fukui had a shocked look on his face. It was mixed with sadness. After his outburst, Haru could see Dr. Koji telling Fukui to calm down.

Haru could not quite make out their voices, but he could see distress in Fukui's eyes as he turned his head to stare back at Kanade's room. Haru felt his chest jolt as Fukui's eyes and he turned back to look into Kanade's room. Kanade was smiling brilliantly at Makoto, and Makoto was smiling back.

They were happy.

* * *

Hey, guys.

Thanks for everyone's feedback. You guys are great!

I'm trying my hardest to do the best I can. I really want to make you guys happy and I feel that I've been letting you down. I will work harder to give you a story you enjoy and think through things better for the future.

I'm really sorry if I've disappointed any of you! But, I appreciate the constructive criticism just as much as the compliments.

Just an fyi, I'm unsure if I'll be able to post next week. Going out of town, might not have wifi.

But I will return. Love you all.

~LuckE1


	41. Chapter 41

I'm back!

Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 41

* * *

"Easy, there. One step at a time."

"Makoto, I'm fine."

"You are _not_ fine. You were admitted to the hospital _last night_."

"And I'm being discharged _this afternoon_."

" _Kanade."_

" _Makoto._ "

Makoto held onto Kanade's hand as he guided her around the hospital hallways. Kanade was feeling restless after being in the hospital overnight and begged Makoto to walk with her through the halls. With big puppy dog eyes and a few kisses, Makoto complied.

But now Makoto is starting to regret it.

Kanade was walking pretty slow, her hand gripping his like a vice. Her knuckles were white and Makoto could see a few veins bulging in her neck and forehead as well as a thin sheen of sweat.

"Maybe we should rest," Makoto said.

"Makoto, really. Stop worrying so much," Kanade said with a soft chuckle. At least her air stopped wheezing after a night's rest.

"Well, I'm your boyfriend. It's my job to worry," Makoto said with his signature head-tilt and smile.

Kanade turned her head and smirked at him.

"Oh? So you're my boyfriend? I don't recall you ever asking me out," Kanade said with a raised brow.

Makoto's smile faded and his face flushed a deep red. His mouth gaped open at he stared at her speechless and slightly mortified. He turned his head to hide his face and lifted his free hand to rub the back of his neck.

Then, Makoto felt something wet press on his cheek. He felt her nose brush his cheek as she stood on her tiptoes to give him a sweet kiss. He glanced down at her and she was smiling warmly at him.

"Will you be my boyfriend, Makoto?" Kanade asked.

Makoto hesitated, trying to get his emotions to settle after she gave him that scare. Then, a big smile appeared on his red face as he nodded shyly.

Kanade giggled, feeling her chest bubble with excitement and warmth and she stood on her tiptoes again to press her lips to his. Makoto lifted a hand to cup her cheek and kissed her back sweetly.

Makoto's chest felt as if it were on fire. Everything about Kanade was incredible. Her reams, her smile, her kisses...

Every time she kissed him, he felt as if he would melt. He would always plant his feet a little stronger on the floor, just in case it was all a dream. He did not want to fade away and wake up. It was surreal and incredible and—

"Ahem."

Makoto broke off the kiss and sharply turned his head to see Dr. Koji and Fukui standing in front of them.

Makoto's face turned a deeper red as he took his hands off of Kanade and took a step away from her, hiding his hands behind his back. He lifted one hand to scratch his cheek.

"G-Good morning, Fukui-san," Makoto stuttered.

Fukui and Dr. Koji shared a bittersweet smile and a small chuckle before turning back to look at the couple. The two of them hesitated and their smiles faded, making the room feel uncomfortably quiet.

"Um… is everything all right?" Makoto asked, his blush finally fading.

Fukui rubbed the back of his head and let out a long, heavy sigh. He straightened and folded his arms across his chest, locking eyes with Kanade.

"Ah, Kanade, we need to have a word with you," Fukui said.

Kanade's chest constricted. Fukui usually just called her 'Kid' as a nickname. He rarely ever said her name unless it was serious.

Kanade was on the alert and she reached out her hand to grab Makoto's. She squeezed his hand and he glanced down to look at her with arched brows.

"We need to go back to your room," Dr. Koji said.

"Can… Makoto come, too?" Kanade asked right away. Her voice was quiet but she stood her ground confidently. Makoto squeezed her hand back.

Dr. Koji glanced at Makoto and then to Fukui, who gave him a small shrug. Dr. Koji turned his gaze back to Kanade and gave a small smile.

"Of course."

They made their way back to her designated room and Makoto helped her climb back into her bed. She sat cross-legged on the bed with the blanket covering her legs.

"How's the pain?" Dr. Koji said, raising his stethoscope from his shoulders and to his ears.

"Fine," Kanade answered immediately.

Dr. Koji raised a brow and looked at her suspiciously. He placed the cold end of the stethoscope to Kanade's chest and she shivered, both because of the metal and Dr. Koji's hard stare.

"Really?" he asked. Kanade bit her lip and she could feel Makoto staring at her with creased brows. "I'll ask again. How's the pain?"

Kanade took a deep breath and sighed.

"It hurts," she answered truthfully.

"What kind of hurt?" Dr. Koji asked, finally removing the stethoscope from her chest. Kanade lifted up a hand to touch her chest and she gripped the fabric of the gown.

"It… feels like someone is pressing down on my chest," Kanade said.

"This whole time?" squeaked Makoto's voice, and Kanade turned her head to look at him. His eyes were wide. "And you walked down those hallways like this? Kanade, why didn't you tell me?" He frowned and Kanade saw his shoulders sag.

"It wasn't your fault, Makoto," Kanade said with a gentle smile. "You didn't make me walk those hallways."

"I should've made you stay in bed," Makoto retorted with a slight pout. Kanade huffed out a soft laugh and shook her head.

"Kanade-chan, listen," Dr. Koji said, bringing Kanade back to the conversation. Dr. Koji had a stern look on his face. "It doesn't look good."

Kanade felt her heart jump and she moved her hand to her side. Makoto came by her side and held her hand, lightly squeezing her fingers.

"What… doesn't look good?" she asked.

"Well," Dr. Koji began. He opened up her chart and gave it a look over. "Your pace-maker isn't doing as well as we had hoped. And at the rate you're going with your training, your heart can't keep up. You have to slow down or risk another surgery."

"Another surgery?" Kanade echoed. She gripped Makoto's hand. "What do you mean _another_ surgery? What would they do instead of a pacemaker?"

"It's called an ICD," Dr. Koji answered, and when he was met with a raised brow, he continued. "It basically shocks your heart once it gets out of rhythm. It should definitely help, but it would mean that you would have to lighten the exercise. I would definitely recommend—"

"No."

Makoto and Fukui both snapped their heads down to look at Kanade. She had her head bowed, her gaze staring hard at her lap.

" _No?_ What do you mean _no_?" Fukui growled.

"I won't have the surgery," Kanade said.

"Kanade…" Makoto said in a small gasp, and Kanade whipped her head up to stare at him with tears in her eyes.

"I can't give up, Makoto," she whimpered. "Not when I've gotten this far. I'm _this close_."

Makoto squeezed her hand. He felt something swirl in his stomach, making his whole core churn with uneasiness.

"Well, the choice is up to you," Dr. Koji interrupted. He closed her chart and tucked it under his arm. "Who knows? Maybe after a few days rest, you won't feel any more pain and can continue training."

Fukui was not convinced, and frankly, neither was Makoto. But the tears dried in Kanade's eyes, and after the long night everyone had had, they were just pleased that she looked somewhat happy.

Dr. Koji headed to the door and put his hand on it, but he stopped and faced Kanade.

"Let me just warn you," Dr. Koji said, wiping the potential of a smile off of Kanade's face. "I've seen several people with your condition before. And they've all been fine as long as they had light, controlled exercise."

Kanade bit her lip, knowing full well where Dr. Koji was going. She gripped Makoto's hand again, and he thought his fingers would fall off.

"If you continue to train to be an Olympic athlete, your heart could just give out," he said.

Makoto's hand jumped in Kanade's, and she did not dare to peek up at his face. His fingers shook lightly in her grasp.

"Just a warning," Dr. Koji said. He slid open the door and faced the hallway. "We will make a follow-up appointment in a week to see your progress. Call if you feel any more pain."

Dr. Koji walked out of the room and slid the door shut behind him, leaving the three in eerie silence.

Fukui was fuming. Kanade could tell.

She knew that he felt conflicted and pained about this just as much as she was. He was an Olympic athlete once, so he understood the struggle that Kanade was going through.

But she also knew that he cared about her safety.

"Kanade," Fukui said, his voice low. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Kanade hesitated and felt Makoto squeeze her hand with his shaking fingers.

"Yes," she answered.

Fukui sighed and rubbed his chin, placing his other hand on his hip.

"All right."

* * *

Monday afternoon.

All of Kanade and Makoto's classes were done for the day and they were both in their rooms doing homework.

Or, at least Makoto was doing homework.

Kanade was lying on her bed, moping. Her eyes flitted back and forth from the ceiling to her alarm clock that sat on her nightstand.

Swim practice would start in 30 minutes.

 _"Your heart could just give out."_

Kanade frowned hard. She knew. She knew exactly what Dr. Koji meant. But…

 _This is my dream…_

Kanade glanced over at the clock again. She pursed her lips and thought about it. If she hurries, she can still make it.

Kanade jolted out of bed and moved to the door, poking her head out to peer down the hallway. Makoto's door was cracked open but he was probably still inside reading. Kanade tiptoed out of her room and headed down the hallway. The front door was in sight, as well as her duffle bag with all of her swimming gear inside.

Kanade moved slowly towards the door and grabbed her bag. She knelt down and started to put her shoes on.

"Kanade?"

Kanade jolted at the sound of Makoto's voice behind her and she hesitated before twisting her torso back to look at him.

"Yes?" she said to him, trying for a smile.

"Where are you going?" Makoto asked, walking to the door and hovering over her. His brows were pushed together nervously and Kanade felt her stomach flip.

"I'm… going to practice?" she said.

"What?!" Makoto fussed, his brows shooting up. Kanade finished tying her shoes and grabbed her duffle bag by the door as she stood to her feet. "Wait a minute! You can't go! You heard what Dr. Koji said, right?"

Kanade sighed, her shoulders sagging heavily as the duffle bag weighed down on her.

"Yeah, I know, but…" Kanade paused. Her hand squeezed the strap of her duffle bag and she turned to face Makoto, giving him a pleading look. "I _feel_ fine, Makoto. I can do it."

"Kanade…" Makoto whispered. He pushed his lips into a hard line and stared down at her, her big, blue eyes staring sadly back at him. "But, Dr. Koji—"

"I know, I _know_ , but Makoto… the tryouts are in a month and a half," Kanade said. She tore her eyes away to look down at her shoes. "I can't get behind."

Makoto opened and shut his mouth, at a loss of what to say. Her blue eyes were pleading and were so, so beautiful.

It was sneaky.

Makoto let out a defeated sigh.

"Okay. Just… please be careful?" Makoto said.

Kanade leaned up to kiss him on his lips and she smiled when they parted.

"I'm always careful!" Kanade claimed. She put her hand on the front door and opened it. "See you later!"

"Mmn, bye!" Makoto called after her, waving.

As soon as she disappeared behind those doors, Makoto froze, worry bubbling inside his chest. He almost felt sick.

 _Please._

 _Please be careful._

* * *

"Shizumi! You're late!"

Kanade rushed out of the locker room in her suit and swim cap, fumbling to put on her goggles.

"Sorry, Coach!" she called, rushing over to an open lane.

She hurried into position and dove in to start her warm-up laps. Her heart was still racing from rushing over to the university, but she still wanted to keep pushing harder.

After the first turn, Kanade felt something pulling inside of her chest. It throbbed uncomfortably and her stroke faltered a bit.

Back at the starting block, Watabe stood with her arms by her sides, watching Kanade curiously. Her eyebrows were not scowling like usual, but she was simply just staring. Kanade pulled herself out of the pool to let Watabe have her warm-up, passing her without saying a word.

Once the warm-ups were done, the coach announced that they would be doing more timed laps for everyone who was trying out for the national team.

Kanade and Watabe were, once again, side-by-side. Kanade did not even bother to look at her. Her chest was aching too much to be concerned about a trivial rivalry.

The swimmers got into position, and the coach blew his whistle, all of them leaping from the platforms and into their lanes. Kanade was first to pop out of the water and start her stroke, flying down the lane in her usual stride.

 _Fight through the pain,_ Kanade told herself.

 _Even when you feel at the brink of exhaustion, of death…_

 _You. Keep. Going!_

Kanade made it to the other side of the lane and did her turn, pushing herself through the water.

But then, something snapped.

Pain.

Pain radiated from her chest, forcing her from the water and to the surface early. She gasped for breath and tried to get back into the rhythm of her stroke.

The other swimmers looked on confused while the coach lifted his head up from his clipboard nervously.

Kanade kept going, even though the pain was overwhelming. She slowed down significantly, Watabe catching up in no time.

 _Fight... fight... fight!_

It was a close race, Kanade still beating Watabe, but only by half a second.

Kanade ripped off her goggles and swim cap and threw them on the concrete. Her hand grasped at her chest as she wheezed painfully and her other hand gripped the side of the pool to keep her afloat. She could barely hear her teammates whispering around her and she suddenly felt anxious.

She forced her shaking hand away from her chest and grabbed the side of the pool. She tried to clamber out of the pool but her exhausted arms buckled, sending her falling back into the pool.

In the next lane, Watabe stared at her with wide eyes, her anger of losing suddenly gone. She was about to reach out her hand to Kanade when the coach rushed over and grabbed ahold of Kanade's arms.

"Shizumi, what's wrong?" the coach asked.

"It's… n… nothing," Kanade wheezed. "Just… overdid it."

The coach pulled her out of the pool and she could barely stand on her wobbling legs.

"I should call the school practitioner. You're in no condition to be up walking around, and—"

"R-Really, C-Coach," Kanade managed to force out. She lifted up her head to look at him and flashed him a strained smile. "I'm… fine. Just… need a… minute."

She forced her arms out of the coach's grasp and wobbled slowly to the locker room. The moment the door shut behind her, she fell to her knees and gasped for air.

 _The tank!_

Kanade crawled over to her bag and fished out her tank. She sat on the floor and leaned against the lockers, putting the mask up to her mouth. She breathed deeply and felt the oxygen flowing into her lungs.

 _I can't tell Makoto,_ she thought. _I just… can't._

At the entrance of the locker room door, Watabe hid behind the wall, listening to every gasping breath.

* * *

Kanade was swimming laps in the rec center pool. It was late on Thursday night, three days after the swimming practice incident.

Since then, Kanade had felt constant pain in her chest. The pain was not enough to hinder her performance, but it was always there.

Like a reminder.

She heard the double doors of the pool slam shut and she stopped swimming in the middle of her lane. She poked her head up and saw a tall guy enter. She smiled when she realized it was _her tall guy_ that entered.

"Makoto!" Kanade called, waving her hand. Makoto waved back and walked to her lane, lending down a hand to help her out.

"Hey! I see you're swimming laps…" Makoto noted. "Didn't you have practice this afternoon?"

Makoto put on a cautious smile while his eyebrows creased in worry. Kanade smiled back, knowing where this conversation was headed.

"Yeah, well… my times weren't all that great, so I'm looking to improve," Kanade explained dryly. She did not want to have this conversation, and annoyance pricked at her heart.

"Oh," Makoto said, his lips pulling into a frown. "But, you're taking it easy, right?"

Kanade walked over to her bag by the starting block and huffed out a sigh. She pulled out something and then walked back to Makoto.

"Of course, of course. Hey, Makoto, can you time me?" Kanade asked, handing him a stopwatch and a whistle.

Makoto blinked at her and hesitantly took the stopwatch and whistle from her hand.

"Kanade, your doctor's appointment is tomorrow… are you sure you want to—"

" _Yes_ ," Kanade hissed.

Makoto shut his mouth, feeling the hostility and frustration pouring from Kanade's mouth. The sudden change in mood was jarring.

She stood up onto the platform and lowered her goggles down over her eyes. She knelt down at the platform and exhaled slowly, feeling a pinch in her chest. She glanced at Makoto and nodded. Makoto gave an unsure nod back.

"Ready," Makoto called out. Kanade tensed and gripped the starting block.

Then, Makoto blew the whistle and started the stopwatch, and Kanade flung herself from the starting block. She hit the water forcefully and started her front crawl. It was a little sluggish, but she tried to push herself through the exhaustion. Pain had crept down her chest and made her arms tingle with each stroke, and she gasped in breaths when she surfaced for air.

After her turn, Makoto could hear Kanade take a painful breath. He winced and glanced down at the stopwatch. His brows rose. She was still making a good time as long as she kept up her pace.

Kanade hit the wall and reared back for air, hanging onto the wall for dear life. Makoto knelt down to her and held out a hand to her. Kanade stared at his hand for a moment, her face grimacing as she tried to catch her breath. Her shaking hand lifted out of the water and grasped his hand. He pulled her out of the water with ease and helped her to stand on the concrete.

"You okay?" Makoto asked gently. He placed a hand on her back and could feel her body convulse with panting.

"How was… my time?" Kanade asked.

Makoto's brows lowered and he was taken aback as he stared at her. He felt slight annoyance creep up his neck. She should be worried about her _health_!

"Um… it was fine," Makoto answered. "But… maybe you should go and—"

"Time me again."

Makoto's eyes went wide and he took his hand from her back.

"What?" he asked, his voice quivering.

"Time me again," Kanade said, a little less breathily.

"Kanade, you need a minute to rest," Makoto said, his voice firm.

"I'm fine!" Kanade said.

"Kanade, you're not!"

Kanade removed her goggles from her eyes and stared at him with wide eyes. Her brows lowered a second later and Makoto saw a spark of anger flash through her eyes.

That was... new.

" _Fine._ I'll time myself," Kanade said, turning abruptly to walk to the pool.

"Wait!" Makoto called. He lunged forward and grabbed her wrist. Kanade turned back and tried to get out of his grasp.

"Let go!" she shouted.

"Just listen to me!" Makoto said.

"Why should I?! I need to train! There's only a little over a month left before the tryouts! I _have_ to train hard or else I'll fall behind!"

"But you're not considering your health!" Makoto shouted back.

"I told you! I'm _fine_!"

" _But you're not fine!"_ Makoto yelled, his voice cracking. Kanade's face softened at his voice and she took a step back from him, her brows upturning sadly. "You're _not_ fine! That's why Dr. Koji is trying to help you! That's why Fukui-san is so worried. All of us are worried!"

Kanade grit her teeth and tried to yank her arm out of Makoto's grasp.

"This doesn't concern you!" Kanade lashed out. She stared up at him with tears shimmering in her blue eyes. "Why are you so meddlesome? _Keep your nose in your own business_!"

Makoto felt his heart drop painfully in his chest.

He was suddenly thrust back to last year. The festival, the shouting, the fireworks, Haru's hurt face.

 _"Do whatever you want!"_

Makoto remained frozen in time, his brain drifting back to that night as those painful memories resurfaced in an instant.

"—to?"

Is he pushing her too much?

"Makoto?"

Will she… leave?

"Makoto!"

Makoto felt his arm being shaken and he was suddenly pulled out of his past. He stared down at Kanade, who had been shaking his arm with a worried expression on her face. He let go of her wrist and gently let his hand rest by his side.

"Makoto…"

"Sorry."

Kanade jumped at how small his voice sounded. His smile was painfully forced on his face and his eyes displayed hurt.

"I didn't mean to push," Makoto said. He gently handed her back her stopwatch and whistle. He leaned down and gave her a chaste kiss on her cheek. "I'll see you later," he said with that forced smile. He turned on his heel and left the pool to head back upstairs to the apartment.

"Makoto," Kanade whimpered out. She hung her head and stared at the ground sadly. "Why did I say that?"

* * *

Kanade tiptoed into the apartment and poked her head in the living room. There was no sign of Makoto, but his shoes were placed neatly together at the front door. She opened her mouth to call his name but no sound came out as she hunched her shoulders in shame.

She walked down to her bedroom and was about to open her door when she noticed there was light poking out of the crack underneath Makoto's door. She blinked at it for a second and then took one step towards it.

 _I need to talk to him_ , Kanade thought. _He's your boyfriend now, Kanade. Stop being afraid. Stop running away!_

Kanade took another step and then froze, feeling afraid of confronting him.

After a moment of standing awkwardly in the hallway, Kanade turned on her heel and headed back to the kitchen. She grabbed the teapot and started to make some tea as a peace offering. Once the tea was made, she poured two cups and made her way down to Makoto's room. She stood in front of the door for what seemed like ages and took a deep breath. She knocked.

There was no response.

Kanade lowered her brows and knocked again. Still no response.

Balancing both cups of tea in one hand, she carefully opened the door.

"Makoto?" Kanade called.

Her eyes opened wide when she saw Makoto at his desk, his head down on his arms. He was softly breathing in a quiet slumber, his laptop opened and several papers scattered around him.

Kanade smiled fondly and rolled her eyes.

 _Didn't I tell him not to sleep in weird places?_

She walked down to his desk and set down the tea. She peered down at his head and saw that his glasses were askew on his face. Kanade pouted and carefully took the glasses off of his face, inspecting them to see if they had bent. After setting down the glasses on his nightstand, Kanade put a hand on his shoulder and shook him lightly.

"Makoto," she carefully called. "Makoto," she called again when he did not stir.

Makoto fluttered awake slowly and groaned as he sat up. He stared up at Kanade's face and blinked for a moment, trying to chase away his dreams.

"Kanade?" Makoto said after a moment. "What are you—"

"I made tea," Kanade said, handing him a steaming cup. Makoto stared at the cup for a moment and then smiled. He took it from her hand, allowing his fingers to brush up against hers.

"Thank you," he said sweetly. He took a few sips from the cup and sighed. "Ah, this is so good!"

Kanade smiled a little and then lifted up her cup to take a sip. Her eyes moved to look at a picture on Makoto's nightstand. It was the picture of the Iwatobi team at nationals. She walked to it and lifted it up to get a closer look, and Makoto followed her with his eyes.

 _"Stop sticking your nose in everyone's business!"_

Makoto smiled bitterly, remembering Kanade's words from earlier.

The silence between them was starting to get heavy, and Makoto knew he had to explain his actions today.

He had to apologize.

"Remember me telling you about that fight Haru and I had back a few summers ago?" Makoto asked suddenly.

Kanade whirled around and set down the picture frame. She jogged her memory and thought for a moment, remembering that Rin had taken Haru to Australia.

"Yeah, I remember," Kanade said gently.

Makoto was looking down at his hand in his lap, smiling sadly at it. He took a deep breath through his nose.

"We were fighting about what he wanted to do in the future since he hadn't found a dream for himself," Makoto started. His eyes seemed to dull over and Kanade suddenly felt a little alarmed. He looked incredibly distant. "I wanted him to find a dream so he could be happy. But… he didn't like me doing that."

"He… didn't like that you wanted him to find a dream?" Kanade clarified.

Makoto nodded. "He… he called me meddlesome. And he told me to stop sticking my nose in everyone's business."

Kanade sharply inhaled and held her breath tightly in her chest, remembering the words she spat at Makoto earlier.

"I guess that since I pushed him away then, I was afraid that I would be doing the same to you," Makoto said.

"Makoto…" Kanade whispered. She bit her lip.

"I know that I tend to get too involved," Makoto said softly. He laughed breathlessly, and Kanade could tell it was forced. He still would not make eye contact, his glazed eyes staring hard at the floor. "And I guess… I _am_ truly meddlesome."

"Makoto… what are you saying?" Kanade asked.

She stared at him with concerned eyes, waiting for him to snap out of his stupor and actually _look_ at her. He was worrying her enough already with this gloomy state of mind, and she just wanted her Makoto back.

"Sorry," Makoto apologized again, and Kanade felt sick to her stomach. She did not have the heart to tell him to stop. "I pushed you today, I really shouldn't have."

"Makoto, stop…" Kanade whispered. She lowered her head, unable to hear him or look at him. "Stop…"

 _Stop putting yourself down._

 _Stop devaluing your worth._

 _Stop… apologizing._

Makoto chuckled bitterly again and inhaled. "I'm sorr—"

" _I'm sorry!"_

Makoto whipped up his head to look at and he blinked at her. "Hm?"

Kanade was staring at him with a hurt and pained look on her face. Her hands were in fists by her sides. She took a deep breath and then bowed deeply to Makoto.

" _I'm so, so sorry!"_

"E-Eh?! Kanade, w-what are you—"

"I should have never said that to you," Kanade said, her body still bowing. "It was uncalled for, and wrong, and completely untrue."

"Kanade, wait. You don't need to apologize. Please, r-raise up your head! Don't—"

"Didn't you hear me?" Kanade said, lifting up only her head to stare at him with focused eyes. "It's untrue. _Completely untrue._ "

Makoto blinked at her, his lips slightly parted in surprise at her words. His brows pushed together as he thought through what she was saying. He opened and shut his mouth, unable to make the right words come. He swallowed hard, feeling her words pierce him in his heart like a sharp knife.

"It's untrue," Kanade said, gentler. She finally straightened and looked him straight in his eyes. "You believe that, don't you?"

Makoto shut his mouth and hung his head, avoiding her gaze. He could still feel her large, blue eyes boring holes in the top of his head, but he desperately tried to escape them. After what seemed like ages, Makoto opened his mouth.

"For a while, I guess… I've been afraid of getting too involved," Makoto finally spoke. His voice faltered a little.

Kanade jumped at his voice and watched Makoto's mask crumble before her very eyes. While her chest tightened and hearing his voice crack, she felt relieved that he was being genuine and not hiding behind a fake smile.

"Haru and I, we… we had never fought before. And… well… he… I…" Makoto started to fumble with his words, his voice continuing to crack and quiver. "I was… so afraid that… that I'd lost him, and… I don't want that to happen… _with you._ "

That was all it took.

Kanade moved to him and placed her hands on his shoulders. She leaned her forehead against his, and Makoto's breath hitched in his chest.

"I'm so sorry, Makoto," Kanade said softly. She heard him release a shuddering breath. "I'm so… _so_ sorry."

She rubbed his shoulders gently and then gave them a strong squeeze. Makoto took a deep breath and fought back tears. Kanade smoothed her hands along his shoulders and up his neck to his cheeks. She kissed his forehead gently and sighed.

"I'm sorry…" she said softly.

"Hey."

Kanade looked down into his watery eyes and felt her heart jump in his chest. He was smiling at her with his genuine smile and classic head-tilt. The skin under his eyes was red but he still kept that million-dollar smile on his face. He reached up his hand and placed it over her hand that rested on his cheek.

"Remember what you told me about apologizing?" Makoto said playfully. He chuckled happily, the sound music to Kanade's ears. "Well, same goes for you."

Kanade blinked at him for a second and then smiled. She reached up her hands and ruffled his hair.

"You're lucky you're cute," Kanade said. "I mean, really, who taught you to say things like that?"

"Ahaha, sorry!" Makoto said with a chuckle. "I learned from the best."

Kanade stopped ruffling his hair and smiled down at him. She leaned down and kissed him on his lips and Makoto sighed into the kiss. He cupped her cheeks and gently kissed back, smiling brightly when they separated.

After the kiss, Makoto's desk caught Kanade's eye. She glanced over at it and remembered how messy it was. Papers were strewn about and his laptop was still open. He even fell asleep at his desk earlier.

It's unusual for Makoto.

"So, what's with all the papers?" Kanade asked. "Working on a project this late?"

Makoto stared at her for a moment and then jumped as if realizing something important.

"Oh, right!" Makoto exclaimed.

He searched for his glasses on his desk and frowned when he could not find them. Kanade cocked her head and raised a brow at his confused state and headed to his nightstand to grab his glasses.

"Ah, thank you," Makoto said as she handed him his glasses. "So, I've been looking up different breathing exercises that would really help slow down your heart if it gets too painful."

Makoto pulled up some web pages on his laptop, all displaying different articles that described breathing techniques for athletes with heart conditions. It showed the risks and when to use each exercise. It even described the different pain levels and how to gauge them so the proper technique could be used.

Kanade felt her chest tighten.

"I also came up with a good regimen," Makoto said, sifting through the stack of papers and pulling out an organized schedule. He handed her the paper and she gazed over it thoughtfully. She felt her jaw drop at how specific it was.

It gave specific times at when it would be best for Kanade to rest, train, and do breathing techniques. It even gave times for planning cardio therapy to strengthen her heart outside of the stressful environment of the pool. Everything was so well thought-out and precise that Kanade felt her heart jump in her chest.

"It, uh… it isn't the best, but I tried to schedule when you could do these breathing techniques and when you should rest," Makoto started. He rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled lightly. "I wanted to make something that would help, but I hope it's something you'll enjoy, too!"

Makoto took off his glasses and set them down on his desk before continuing. He glanced up at Kanade.

"I just wanted you to—"

Makoto froze.

There were tears running down Kanade's cheeks as she read over the schedule. She sniffled sadly a few times in an attempt to stop the tears.

Makoto jumped up from his seat and rushed to her, cupping her face and wiping the tears with his thumbs.

"Kanade…" Makoto whispered, his throat tightening and choking the words in his throat. "What's—"

"You're so good to me," Kanade whimpered. She lowered her hands down her sides. "I owe you _so much._ "

"Kanade, don't…" Makoto said softly. He winced at seeing her tears and he wrapped his arms around her in a warm embrace, his heart swelling. "You don't owe me anything."

Kanade sniffled and moved her head to look up at him, her chin resting against his chest. Her watery eyes were locked onto his.

"Why don't we start this regimen tomorrow?" Makoto asked, his usual smile returning to his face.

Kanade's eyes lit up and she nodded. Makoto chuckled and smeared away a few more tears. He kissed her forehead and he felt his heart clench inside of his chest.

 _"It's completely untrue."_

Makoto smiled.

 _If anything, Kanade… I'm the one who owes_ you.

* * *

Hi, guys.

I read all of your comments, and I can't tell you guys how much they meant to me.

You truly are the reason why I write. I want to get better and better so you guys can read a story that makes you feel happy, sad, or angry.

I'm so grateful for all of you, especially your loyalty to me. I could not have done this without your support.

With that being said, I have an idea for a new fic once I have completed this one. Please let me know if you want more out of this AU or if you want Kanade's character to return in other fics. I hadn't planned on it, but if you like her as a reoccurring character, then I will consider it!

Love you guys! Hope you stick around long enough for me to finish this story! You are truly the best.

~LuckE1


	42. Chapter 42

*Reposting due to error.

Enjoy~

* * *

Chapter 42

* * *

Kanade dragged her feet slowly back to the apartment. It was painfully cold outside, making her joints hurt and her lungs ache with every breath. She reached up and gripped her chest. There had been a constant dull throb in her chest ever since the Takuya fiasco back in November.

 **Christmas Sale!**

 **Merry Christmas!**

Kanade glanced up at all of the lights that hung in the windows of the shops that she passed. She sighed heavily. That's right.

Christmas was only a few days away.

Which also meant that Olympic tryouts were two weeks away.

Kanade took a deep breath and sighed gently, trying to calm her already pounding heart. She gripped her jacket harder and willed the pain to stop.

 _"It's not worth your health!"_

Kanade winced.

 _I know, Fukui-san. But…_

* * *

 _"Oh, well if it isn't Kanade-chan!"_

 _Kanade walked up to the swimming instructor and smiled brightly, her blue eyes shining._

 _"Good afternoon, Hamada-Sensei! I'm ready for my lesson!" Kanade chirped._

 _Hamada smiled and chuckled. He leaned down and patted Kanade's head._

 _"Of course. Why don't you go join the others?" he said._

 _Kanade nodded and hurried off to join the rest of the class. She stood amongst the other 7-year-olds and bounced on her feet, excited to jump into the pool. After some warm-ups, Hamada called the students over._

 _"All right, class!" Hamada called. "Today, we will do some freestyle laps."_

 _"Sensei! What's freestyle?" one kid asked._

 _"Ah, well, during the freestyle, you can do any stroke you want. But usually, everyone does the front-crawl," he explained._

 _"But, Sensei, we've already learned that stroke!" another girl piped up._

 _Kanade watched on with intense concentration and silence._

 _"Ah, you're right!" Hamada said. He chuckled and then held up a stopwatch. "But, starting today, I think we should time everyone."_

 _The kids all gasped and started to whisper to each other._

 _"Time us?"_

 _"I'm gonna mess up!"_

 _"My time is gonna be the slowest!"_

 _Hamada put up his hands to calm the children._

 _"Now, now, don't fret," he said. "I think this will be a great opportunity for you all to learn. Now then. Who wants to go first?"_

 _The class stayed silent, no one daring to raise their hands. Hamada's brows lowered over his eyes but he kept his smile._

 _"Oh, c'mon. Anyone?" he asked, and still got no response. Hamada sighed and put his hands on his hips. "Well, I suppose I'll just have to—"_

 _"I'll do it, Sensei!"_

 _The class turned around and all glanced at Kanade, who was raising her hand proudly and confidently. Her lips were pulled into a serious line and her brows twitched a little._

 _"Ah, Kanade-chan! Great, go ahead and step up onto the block."_

 _Kanade nodded and put her goggles over her head and then stepped up onto the starting block. She bent down at the block and held onto the edge._

 _"You ready?" Hamada asked._

 _Kanade nodded and yelled out a confident "Yes!"_

 _Hamada smiled and got his stopwatch ready._

 _"Okay! Ready."_

 _Kanade tensed a little at the starting block, her tiny body curling in._

 _Then, Hamada blew the whistle and Kanade dove from the platform and into the water. She started her front crawl and started down her lane._

 _"Whoa, she's fast!"_

 _"How did she get so fast?"_

 _"Go, Kanade-chan!"_

 _Kanade made her turn at the far wall in no time and immediately made her way back to the start. She took quick breaths and splashed her hands through the water._

 _A few seconds later, she was hitting the wall and she could hear her classmates cheering._

 _"Excellent work, Kanade-chan!"_

 _Kanade looked up from her lane and saw Hamada hovering over her with his hand extended. He tilted his head and smiled brightly as she took his hand and he pulled her out of the pool. She glanced up at him and was able to see his shining green eyes._

 _"You broke a class record!" he told her once she got her footing._

 _Kanade blinked at him in disbelief and her classmates all gasped and cheered._

 _"Broke a record?" she panted._

 _Hamada nodded and hummed. "You could truly be in the Olympics one day, Kanade-chan!"_

 _Kanade's eyes widened and she felt her heart twist._

 _"Olympics?"_

 _"Yep!"_

 _Near the end of the class, Hamada ushered the kids into a viewing room where he played several videos of past Olympics. He showed a variety of videos, from volleyball to curling._

 _Then, he went to the swimming videos, and Kanade's eyes lit up like fire. She watched as bodies flew into the water with precision and their arms cut through the water with great power and ease. Kanade stared hard at the Japanese swimmers, watching them carefully._

 _"See him? That's Fukui Makoto. He won a few silver medals," Hamada explained. "Unfortunately, he never won a gold. He wanted to, so badly, but he got too old for it and retired. I actually took a few lessons with him!"_

 _Some of the kids whispered to each other and gasped in awe of their instructor's experience._

 _"Did you want to be in the Olympics?" one kid asked._

 _Hamada blinked at him, hesitant about the question. He gave a nervous chuckle and rubbed the back of his neck._

 _"Well, I tried. But I got injured right before tryouts, so I wasn't able to do it," he explained. "Once I healed, I decided I wanted to try again. But my family convinced me that my path belonged elsewhere. So now I'm here! Teaching you wonderful kids."_

 _"That seems sad!" one kid said._

 _"Yeah! You didn't get to go to the Olympics!"_

 _Hamada smiled brightly at the kids so he did not discourage them._

 _"Aw, don't worry about that so much," he said. "I'm completely happy right where I am."_

 _Kanade's brows knitted together, trying to fit the pieces together. She looked back at the screen and watched as Fukui made his dive and traveled down his lane. He made his turn at the far end and came back, barely stealing second place._

 _"But listen," Hamada said suddenly, pulling Kanade's eyes away from the screen. "Don't let anyone or anything try to stop you from living your dreams. Keep pursuing, with everything you've got!"_

 _Kanade's eyes widened and shined with a new fire._

 _She smiled._

 _"I want to go to the Olympics!" Kanade said, whipping her hand up into the air._

 _Hamada belted out a heavy laugh and patted Kanade's head._

 _"Is that so?" he asked. He turned around and rummaged through his bag. "Well, young athlete," he said, leaning up from his bag and approaching her. He handed her a black swimming cap. "Looks like you might need this."_

 _Kanade grabbed the black swimming cap and her eyes sparkled._

 _On the side of the black cap were the Olympics rings._

* * *

"Oh, Kanade."

Kanade snapped up her head from the ground and stared back into green eyes. Standing in front of her was Makoto. He had just left the rec center after teaching a class, Kanade guessed. She did not even realize that she had made it all the way home.

Did she zone out that whole time? The thought made her grimace. She could have been hit by a bus and not even realized it. It had been a long time since she's thought about her first swimming instructor. She had gotten so deluded in her own passions that she forgot completely about him.

A twinge of guilt pricked at her already throbbing heart.

"You're home earlier than I thought," Makoto said cheerfully. He was wearing the green coat that Kanade had gotten him, and she felt her lips pull into a fond smile.

"Yeah, practice got done early," Kanade explained.

"Oh, well, how are you feeling?" Makoto asked, approaching her and reaching out to touch her damp hair. She stroked a few strands and his knuckles brushed her cheek. He froze for a moment and then turned his hand to cup her cheek. "Kanade, you're freezing!"

Kanade blinked up at him and blushed at his touch. "Ah, yeah, I guess it's a little cold today."

"Don't you have a scarf or anything?" Makoto asked.

Kanade chuckled nervously. "No, not really. I haven't really had… time to go and buy things, I guess," she excused.

"Hmm," Makoto hummed thoughtfully. He let go of her hair and smiled gently. "Well, are you ready to go?"

Kanade smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Let's go."

* * *

 _"Where do you think you're going, Shizumi?"_

 _Kanade froze in her footsteps with her duffle bag in hand. Her old swimsuit and swim cap were inside along with a towel that she fished out of the hamper._

 _"I'm… going to swim practice."_

 _"Swim practice?" the woman said. "Don't you remember what happened last time? We had to take you to the hospital! There's no way you're leaving this house."_

 _Kanade's heart sank in despair as the woman, her supposed foster mother, jerked her duffle bag out of her small hands._

 _"But—"_

 _"I don't want to hear it," the woman interrupted. "You need to find a hobby that isn't so expensive. You're twelve and about to enter junior high. Find a different club that isn't a strain on your heart."_

 _The woman took Kanade's duffle bag and walked outside of the dusty home. Kanade followed close behind, her hands desperately trying to reach out to grab the bag, but she was constantly pushed away._

 _The woman went to the dumpster and threw the bag inside, leaving Kanade wailing and crying._

 _"Enough crying," the woman said, grabbing Kanade's arm roughly._

 _She dragged little Kanade into the house and forced her inside of her room. Kanade fell into despair. She had scraped every penny she had found and earned to buy the swimsuit and goggles._

 _Her first swim instructor gave her the swim cap, which had the Olympic rings on the side._

 _She felt Hamada's warmth disappear from her the moment the swim cap was gone._

* * *

"Ah, Haru!"

Kanade jolted back to reality. She glanced around and realized that they were already at the train station.

How did she get here?

She felt her lips pull into a worried frown. She remembered some of her foster homes, but she had intentionally blocked that one out of her mind.

How did that memory come back up so suddenly?

"Haru!"

Kanade glanced up.

Haru was standing by a bench on the platform, his hand raised to wave back at Makoto.

"I'm surprised you got here before us," Makoto teased.

"I just got here," Haru explained.

"Oh, really?"

Kanade approached Haru and gave a slight bow, smiling slightly.

"The train should be here soon," Haru explained.

"Ah, good. You ready to head back to Iwatobi, Haru?" Makoto asked, and Haru nodded.

"You can stay in Iwatobi longer, Makoto," Haru said. Kanade, now paying attention stepped up by Makoto's side and nodded.

"He's right. Don't come back early just because of us," Kanade said. Makoto put his hands on his hips.

"Now if I did that, then who would make sure you two stay out of trouble?" Makoto asked, half-jokingly.

Kanade puffed out her cheeks in rebuttal and Haru looked away with his usual scowl on his face. Makoto chuckled at them and placed his hands on each of their shoulders.

"I'm going back early because I _want_ to. I want to be there to support you guys. Both of you," Makoto explained.

With those words, both Kanade and Haru smiled.

"Ah, the train's here," Makoto said. He reached down and grabbed his and Kanade's bag. "Ready?"

Both Haru and Kanade nodded and they followed him to the platform. Before Kanade boarded the train car, she heard a whooshing sound from outside. She turned her head and glanced up at the sky.

It had started to rain.

* * *

 _"Fukui-san! Fu-ku-i-san!"_

 _"Ugh, what is it, kid?"_

 _Kanade stood before him with wide, curious eyes. "Please take me in!"_

 _"No."_

 _Kanade pouted and puffed out her cheeks. She huffed out a sigh and took a step closer to Fukui, who was sitting at the front desk reading a newspaper. It had been raining that day, and Kanade was drenched in her clothes, water dripping from her too-thin shorts._

 _"Please!"_

 _"No. You've already been by here a million times. Go away before I call the police."_

 _Kanade felt tears well up in her eyes and she grit her teeth in frustration._

 _"Please, Fukui-san! Take me in and teach me how to swim!" Kanade said._

 _"Hah?" Fukui lowered the newspaper and looked at this twelve-year-old girl who stood before him._

 _She was drenched from head to toe, her clothes soaked. Come to think of it, those were the same clothes she wore the day before._

 _"Teach you how to swim?" Fukui echoed._

 _"Yes!" Kanade said. "I want to be an Olympic athlete!"_

 _Fukui raised a brow. "You want to be in the Olympics?"_

 _Kanade nodded. "I really want to. Please!"_

 _Kanade bowed deeply to Fukui and Fukui faltered in his chair, almost falling out of it._

 _"Please teach me the proper way to swim!" she begged. "Please, Fukui-san! I don't want to go back to the foster house. Please," she said with her head still bowed to him._

 _Fukui stared down at this girl, watching as water droplets fell from her black hair and onto the tile floor. He sighed and stood up from his chair, grabbing his black hoodie from the desk. He walked over to Kanade and she saw Kanade flinch when his shadow fell over her trembling body._

 _He draped the black hoodie over her and she froze for a moment, and then jolted up, holding the hoodie over her shoulders._

 _"Olympics, huh?" Fukui said. "It won't be easy," he said, walking towards the exit. He turned and faced Kanade who was still frozen in place. "Well? What're you waiting for? We've got to go get some paperwork."_

 _Kanade jumped._

 _And then she smiled._

* * *

"Snack?"

Kanade jolted and turned to face Makoto. He offered a box of pocky sticks to her and she blinked at him. She nodded and took a chocolate stick from the box and popped it into her mouth, munching on it mindlessly as she stared out the window of the train. The scenery whizzed by as the train bumped along the tracks.

How long has she been sitting here?

She realized that she was fiddling with the sleeve of the black hoodie that she always wears.

The same black hoodie Fukui had draped over her damp shoulders so many years ago.

"Are your parents coming home for Christmas, Haru?" Kanade heard Makoto ask.

"Yeah," Haru said.

"Eh?! No way!"

"Yeah, but just for the day."

"That's so incredible!"

"Really?"

"Yeah! I think that we…"

Kanade actively tried to listen and concentrate on their conversation, but her mind kept drifting back into space. Makoto's voice was so soothing. It was enough to make her sleepy. She felt her eyelids grow heavy, and she faintly remembered a warm arm wrapping around her shoulder.

So much warmth...

* * *

 _"There, kid, that's it!" Fukui barked. "No, no, no! Don't slow down. Keep it up! Push it!"_

 _Kanade punched through the water with all of her strength. She had been with Fukui for a year now but was finally starting to get the hang of his intense training. Her stamina had improved a little and she was able to keep up with his insistent demands._

 _"No, you can't give up on the end! Get out, let's start again."_

 _Kanade panted and tried to catch her breath as she climbed out of the pool. Her head felt dizzy and her chest tightened, but she just assumed it was fatigue from the tough morning of training._

 _Climbing onto the starting block, Kanade knelt down and gripped the edge, waiting for a signal. Once the whistle was blown, Kanade dove into the water and quickly reached the surface to start her stroke._

 _But then, something snapped._

 _The pain was sharp inside of her chest, knocking the wind out of her completely. She clawed to the surface and held her chest, her air gasping and wheezing for air. Her legs and arms were stiff, and she struggled to keep her head above water._

 _"Help—" she tried to cry out._

 _The colors of the water and the pool started to swirl as dizziness plagued her body. She thought she would faint._

 _Suddenly, a large hand grabbed her arm and yanked her from the pool. Kanade felt herself being lowered down onto the concrete._

 _"Yes, please, we need help."_

 _It was Fukui's voice._

 _"We need an ambulance."_

* * *

 _Kanade woke up slowly, her head groggy and chest tight. The room was bright and white, blinding her temporarily. She tried to sit up, but pain shot down her arms and chest and she slumped back against the bed. She was way too drained._

 _"Sit still."_

 _Kanade moved her head to look into Fukui's eyes. His hand rested on her head and his brows were knitted together. She gulped._

 _He was annoyed._

 _Fukui sat back in his chair and stared at Kanade with a harsh gaze._

 _"This isn't your first episode like this, is it?" Fukui asked, his voice low._

 _Kanade sighed and turned her head away. She shook her head, ashamed to look into Fukui's eyes._

 _"And you thought you could just not tell me about this?" Fukui asked, folding his arms across his chest._

 _Kanade felt tears prick her eyes. "I'm sorry…" she whimpered out. "I'm so, so sorry. Please… don't send me away... I just want to swim."_

 _Fukui furrowed his brows and his hands curled into fists._

 _"You can't be an Olympic athlete like this," Fukui said._

 _Kanade's eyes widened and tears formed in her eyes. She felt some sliding down her cheeks. She remembered her first instructor, and how much he believed in her. He taught her everything she knew about swimming for years. She gasped in a shuddering breath as she sobbed. She shut her eyes tight._

 _"No, please," Kanade begged. "I have to!"_

 _"Have to?" Fukui asked, his brows lowering._

 _"I heard that you were never able to bring home a gold medal," Kanade said softly._

 _Fukui's brows shot up as he listened to her frail voice._

 _"My first swimming instructor told me about it. He never even got to go to Olympics... and... I want to bring home a medal. For you and for him. I want to bring home the gold medal that you never could. I want to make you happy!" Kanade said. "It's been my dream for years! Please… please don't give up on me."_

 _Fukui remained silent, unmoving. Kanade kept her eyes shut, avoiding the inevitable. She knew what would happen next. He would make a phone call, return the papers, give her back up, and turn her back in to the foster care system._

 _She could not do this…_

 _It cannot be over, can it?_

 _But it was. It was completely over._

 _"Excuse me."_

 _Kanade's eyes popped open when she heard Fukui's voice talking to a nurse. The nurse came in and listened to Fukui intently._

 _"Do you have any kind of specialists for her case?" Fukui asked, pointing a thumb to Kanade._

 _Kanade's eyes widened as she watched their interaction._

 _"Oh, you mean on hearts? Well, Dr. Koji is the best we have," the nurse answered._

 _"Dr. Koji, eh? Can we meet with him?" Fukui asked._

 _"Of course. I'll page him now."_

 _With that, the nurse left and Fukui turned and faced her._

 _"Let's see what we can do, Kanade."_

* * *

"…anade. Kanade."

Kanade's eyes fluttered open as she felt her arm gently being shaken awake.

What was that dream?

It had been so long since she thought about that day in the hospital. Fukui had been nothing but kind to her.

She owed him so much...

Kanade stirred and saw Haru sitting across from her, his eyes staring out the window. Her head was leaning against something warm and sturdy. She turned her head and realized she was leaning against Makoto's shoulder. He was smiling down at her with his usual head-tilted smile.

"We're here," Makoto said softly.

Kanade blinked at him and then jolted upright.

"I… you… did I sleep on you the whole trip?!" Kanade asked, a little mortified.

Makoto chuckled sheepishly and scratched his cheek.

"Ah, well… maybe," Makoto said. Kanade's brows lowered in embarrassment and she covered her face.

"I'm so sorry," she groaned.

Makoto chuckled brightly this time. "Don't worry about it!" he said. He looked down in his lap and rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks turning red. "I… I didn't mind it, really."

Kanade whipped her head up to look at him, and she smiled when she saw his blushing face.

"C'mon," Haru said, standing to his feet. "Let's go already."

Makoto laughed gingerly and stood up from his seat. "I think he's trying not to be grossed out by us."

"Oh, yeah?" Kanade asked, raising a cheeky brow. She grabbed her bags and started to follow Haru off of the train. "We'll just have to take things up a notch, then!"

"Eh?! W-Wait a minute! What do you mean by that?! _Ka-na-de!"_

* * *

Fukui sat at the front desk and read the newspaper, eyeing the local universities' sporting sections. There were several articles about the upcoming national team tryouts.

One article mentioned Nanase Haruka, and Fukui thought the name sounded familiar. He tried to dig into his memory bank from where he'd seen that name before.

"Ah, Fukui-san."

Fukui looked up from his newspaper, a little disgruntled that his concentration had been interrupted. But his face softened when Kanade's university coach approached him with a smile on his face.

"Oho," Fukui said. "So good to see you, _Coach_ ," Fukui teased.

"Please, Fukui-san, don't tease me," he said with a chuckle.

"What brings you here, lad?" Fukui asked, folding the newspaper and setting it down on the desk.

"Well, I've actually been offered the position of coaching the girls' national swim team for the Olympics next year," the coach said.

"Is that so? Well, congratulations!" Fukui said.

"Thank you, sir," he said. "Um, but that's not the only reason I came by."

"Oh?" Fukui said, raising a brow.

"Well, we need other coaches to help out, since it'll be a big team. There's so much potential there," the coach started. "I want you to come and help coach the national team this year, as a co-coach."

Fukui's brows lifted in surprise. He brought his hand up to his chin and thought for a moment.

"A co-coach, eh?" Fukui repeated. He chuckled heartily. "Are you sure you want someone like me to help out? I'm almost 68 years old."

"The board agreed that you would be the best choice," the coach said.

Fukui smiled and laughed. "Well then, if the board says so, then I guess I don't have a choice."

"Ah, well, you do have the choice of picking a few more helpers," the coach said.

Fukui cocked a brow. "Helpers?"

"Yeah, a few more recruits to help coach the athletes. Us two can't do it alone."

Fukui hummed and scratched his chin. "More recruits…"

"Well, just think about it. I'm excited to work with you!" the coach said, bowing slightly to Fukui. "I will be in touch."

"Ah, of course!" Fukui said, bowing slightly back. He waved off the coach and then turned back to the desk, still rubbing his chin. "Recruits..." he mumbled.

Suddenly, his phone buzzed in his shirt pocket, bringing him back from his thoughts. He pulled out his phone and saw that he had a text.

 _From: Kid_

 _Makoto and I made it to his house!_

Fukui cocked a brow.

"More helpers, huh?"

* * *

"Onii-chan!"

The two twins attacked Makoto and tackled him to the ground before he could even open the front door to his house. He dropped his bags and collapsed onto his back as the twins crawled on top of him.

"Ah, Ran, Ren!" Makoto chuckled.

"We missed you, Onii-chan!" Ren said with a huge smile.

Ran squeezed him quickly and then got up to greet Haru and Kanade.

"C'mon, c'mon! Dinner's ready!" Ran said, grabbing Haru's arm.

"Ran, don't pull on Haru!"

Kanade covered her mouth and stifled a giggle as she helped Makoto to his feet. He sighed in relief when the twins pulled Haru into the house and left them a moment of peace.

"Still energetic as always," Makoto said with a sigh. Kanade giggled and grabbed his hand.

"They're great," she said with a smile. Makoto glanced down at her and smiled warmly at her. He nodded in agreement.

"Shall we go in?" Makoto asked, squeezing her hand. Kanade nodded and had Makoto lead her into the house.

"Ah, Makoto!" his mom greeted upon them entering the house. His dad was close behind.

Makoto let go of Kanade's hand to hug his mom. His dad gave Makoto a smirk and ruffled his hair and patted him on the shoulder.

"Good to have you home," his dad said.

"Good to be home," Makoto said from his mom's shoulder.

"It's good to see Kanade-chan, as well," his mom said, finally letting go of her son.

"Speaking of which," his dad said with a knowing smirk on his face. He put his hands on his hips and looked at Makoto suspiciously. "Is there something you need to tell us?"

Makoto flushed a bright pink, the blush creeping down his neck and up his ears. Kanade's face burned red, too, and she closed in on herself shyly, her eyes staring down at her shoes. Makoto gulped and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Uh, mom, dad," Makoto stuttered. "Th-This is… my girlfriend."

His parents' eyes lit up like the Christmas tree in the living room. His mom wrapped her arms around Kanade's small frame and hugged her to her chest while his dad walked over to him and put an arm around his shoulders.

"Welcome to the family, Kanade-chan!" his mother said a little breathlessly.

"I knew you had it in you," his dad said, reaching up to ruffle his son's hair again. "Took you long enough!"

 _"Dad!"_

His dad only laughed at him and then pushed Kanade and Makoto into the kitchen.

"C'mon, dinner's almost ready," he said.

"Oh, wait, my bags are still outside!" Makoto said.

"Oh, I'll get them, Makoto," Kanade offered. Makoto blinked at her and opened his mouth in protest. "I'm wanting an excuse to look at the ocean, you know," Kanade said with a wink.

Makoto blinked and then chuckled. "Fine, fine! Just ask me if you need help."

"Pssh. You really think I can't handle it? I'm solid, remember?" Kanade said, flexing her arm.

"Yes, yes!" Makoto said, waving her off.

Makoto walked back to the kitchen and Kanade headed out the front door. She walked to where the bags were tossed after the twins wrestled Makoto to the ground and she grabbed them with ease. Before she turned to go back inside, she looked out at the ocean and she took a deep breath through her nose. It was still cold outside, but the way the sun was setting over the ocean made her core feel warm.

She turned to head back inside when a tiny grave in the yard caught her eye. She stared at it for a moment and cocked her head. Had that been there the last time she had come here?

 _"You could truly be in the Olympics one day, Kanade-chan!"_

Kanade's heart skipped a beat, the constant throb in her chest growing with her increased heart rate.

"Kanade-Onee-chan!"

Kanade whipped her head up to see Ran and Ren standing in the doorway.

"C'mon! Let's go eat!"

"Yeah, it's green curry!"

Kanade smiled brightly for them. "Ah, I'm coming!"

The wins scampered deeper inside the house and Kanade took one step across the threshold and stopped. Before entering the house, Kanade turned back to give the grave one last glance.

* * *

 _"I won't be too long."_

 _Takuya raised and clicked his tongue._

 _"Fine, fine. I'll see you tomorrow," Takuya said, leaning down to Kanade and giving her a peck on the cheek. Kanade nodded and waved him off._

 _Still clad in her high school inform, she turned and hurried down the sidewalk and down a couple of blocks. A small building with waves painted on the outside quickly came into view and she felt her cheeks hurt with how wide she was smiling._

 _She could not wait to tell Coach Hamada about her big debut on the swim team as a second-year!_

 _She burst through the double doors and looked around. There were some people roaming about, but the familiar face of Hamada was nowhere to be seen. After another quick glance, Kanade noticed the front desk. She hurried over to it and the woman behind the desk greeted her with a smile._

 _"How can I help you, dear?" she asked._

 _"Oh, good afternoon. I'm looking for Coach Hamada," Kanade explained._

 _The woman made a face, her brows pulling together and her lips curling down._

 _"Oh, my dear," she said, her face unbelievably sad._

 _Kanade felt her chest tighten._

 _What was that face for?_

 _Where's... Coach Hamada?_

 _Then, the woman opened her mouth._

 _"Mr. Hamada died last year."_

 _Shattering._

 _Kanade thought she heard shattering somewhere in the vicinity._

 _What did she just say?_

 _He's… what?_

 _"What… what did you say?" Kanade asked, her eyes blown wide and her voice uneven._

 _"Mr. Hamada passed away last year. He was heading to the Olympic headquarters in Tokyo and got in a terrible car crash. He didn't survive."_

 _Kanade felt like she could not breathe. She lifted a hand to her chest and gripped her shirt. What was this pain?_

 _"Why… why was he going there?" Kanade asked a little breathlessly._

 _The woman sighed sadly._

 _"He was invited to try out for the national team," she explained. "He was on his way to the tryouts."_

 _Suddenly, the woman pointed to some pictures on the wall and Kanade followed her finger. Her eyes landed on a larger picture of Hamada with the words "Rest in Peace" and "Memorial" etched in a plaque underneath._

 _Kanade walked over to the picture and stared at it. She felt her lip tremble._

 _He did not deserve this._

 _He was so close to his dream._

 _And in an instant, it was all taken from him._

 _With tears pouring down her cheeks, Kanade clapped her hands together and bowed to the picture, saying a prayer._

 _"I will do whatever it takes, Coach Hamada…" Kanade whispered. "…to make your dream come true."_

 _Kanade wiped her eyes and stared back up at the smiling picture of her first swim instructor._

 _"I will bring you a gold medal."_


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

* * *

 _"I will bring you a gold medal."_

Kanade's eyes fluttered open as she heard her own voice echoing and fading along with her dreams. She stared up at the unfamiliar ceiling and studied each crack and shadow. The sun had not risen yet but there was a hint of daylight peeking over the horizon. She pushed herself up from the comfy bed and glanced out the window, barely able to see the blue ocean above the windowsill.

 _"He was on his way to the tryouts."_

Kanade shivered, remembering that lady's sad voice.

How could she have forgotten about Coach Hamada?

It was not too long ago that she learned about his death, so why? Why did she block that from her mind? Why did she remember him so suddenly?

She shook her head and stood up from the bed, trying to clear her mind of those confusing thoughts. She quickly changed into her tracksuit and headed to the front door to put on her tennis shoes.

She pushed open the front door and rushed down the stairs. Breaking out into a light jog, Kanade headed for the beach. She could see her breath in the cold air, her lungs freezing and her heart fighting her body to slow down.

She wanted to stop.

 _"I will bring you a gold medal."_

Kanade's brows lowered and she gritted her teeth. She pushed herself forward, desperately trying to ignore the constant ache in her chest. She just had to get on that international stage. She needed to represent those who could not.

For Hamada.

For Fukui.

For…

She reached the beach and hunched over on her knees, her shoulders and back heaving with every pained breath. More than anything, she wanted to just keep running. She wanted to run until she was out of breath, out of energy, out of brain cells so these memories could stop plaguing her.

Kanade heaved a sigh. It was as if a brick was sitting on her chest. She glanced up at the ocean, watching as the freezing waves crashed on shore. The water looked choppy and frigid, unlike the water that she had Makoto float on during the summer.

Something pricked at Kanade's heart and suddenly the cold bit down deep into her bones.

Looking at the ocean like this was not as pleasant as it used to be.

Kanade turned her head away from the ocean and started to jog back to the Tachibana household.

The pain grew worse as she made her way back from the beach, her breaths raspy and wheezing. By the time she made it to the stone steps that led up to the Tachibana household, her chest was on fire and her lungs felt as if they would explode. Instead of one brick sitting on her chest, it felt like a ton. She climbed up a few steps but stopped to catch her breath. She hung her head and hunched over on her knees once again.

This was so frustrating. It felt as if her body was betraying her.

"You shouldn't overdo it."

Kanade lifted her head.

"Oh… N… Nanase."

Haru was on his way to Makoto's house. His feet were planted on the landing that branched into the pathway that led to the Tachibana household, and he was looking down at Kanade with his usual deadpan expression. He gave a sideways glance to Makoto's house and then faced her with his brows slightly lowered. He flinched when he heard Kanade cough.

"Does Makoto know you're out here?" Haru asked. Kanade huffed and puffed, willing the pain to stop. She straightened her back and tried to walk up the stone steps to meet Haru.

"Ah, no, but…"

Kanade trudged up the steps but started to wobble when the ground beneath her started to swirl. The edges of her vision turned black and nausea hit her like a harsh wave. She faltered and started to fall backwards.

"Shizumi!"

She felt a hand grab her wrist just as she was falling, and she looked up to see a blurry Haru standing a few steps above her. She closed her eyes to stop her head from spinning.

"Are you okay?" she heard Haru ask.

"Ah, y-yeah," Kanade mumbled.

Her eyes fluttered open and the scenery no longer spun wildly, Haru's face crystal clear. He was wearing a curious look on his face, his brows lifted in surprise and his eyes wide.

"Thank you," Kanade said. She straightened and stood solidly on her two feet, allowing Haru to let go of her forearm. She flashed him a pained smile. "I'm fine now."

Haru's brows curved upwards and his jaw clenched. Kanade tried to ignore his worried expression and she passed him, heading back up slowly to Makoto's home.

All these memories flashing back all of a sudden.

How inconvenient.

She just wanted to train.

Her fists clenched by her sides as she made it to the landing and she glared at the ground.

 _Please._

 _I don't have time to worry about this._

 _Tryouts are so close and…_

 _My heart…_

"You're in pain, aren't you?"

The words froze Kanade in place. A jolt of pain attacked her chest and she slowly turned around to face Haru, who still stood a few steps down from her.

"W-What?" Kanade asked. Haru's brows were still creased with worry but his face was much more filled confidence.

"You're in pain. I can see it on your face," Haru said.

Kanade's eyes narrowed painfully and she turned her head to hide her face.

"How long?" Haru asked when Kanade said nothing.

"Huh?" Kanade snapped her head to look at Haru.

"How long have you been in pain?" Haru asked.

Kanade bit her lip and she lowered her head. She took a deep breath.

"Since Makoto's birthday," Kanade answered.

Haru's brows shot up again in surprise and he blinked at her.

"That was over a month ago," Haru said. Kanade nodded and hummed. Haru's brows knitted together. "Is that… normal?"

"Well…" Kanade stammered, and she raised a hand and rubbed the back of her neck.

"You need to tell Makoto," Haru said bluntly, not waiting for her answer. His normal scowl was back on his face.

Kanade looked at Haru, knowing she could not argue with that. Makoto was her boyfriend now. He had the right to know what was happening.

"I will," she promised.

Haru looked up at her, a little surprised at how easy it was to convince her. She even gave Haru a small smile.

"I promise."

Haru pursed his lips but then nodded, satisfied with her answer. He walked up the stone steps and led her to Makoto's house.

"By the way," Kanade said, following him. "Why are you here so early?"

Haru paused, putting his hand on the door. He turned back to face her and he took a deep breath.

* * *

Makoto woke up to the smell of food. His mouth instantly watered.

It was good to be home.

He dragged himself out of his bed and stretched. He pulled on a pair of loose sweats and headed downstairs, his head still a little groggy. He rubbed his eyes as he headed into the kitchen.

"Good morning…" he mumbled through a yawn as he entered.

"Oooh! Mako-chan's awake!"

Makoto's eyes popped open and he was greeted with a smiling Nagisa, Rei, and Gou.

"Good morning, Makoto-senpai!" Rei greeted.

"Makoto-senpai sleeps in so late!" Gou giggled.

Makoto blinked at them, confused.

"What are you guys doing here?" Makoto asked a little breathlessly.

"We're going Christmas shopping."

Makoto turned towards the voice and saw Haru standing at the stove with Mrs. Tachibana's flowery apron on. The sight made Makoto cough out a laugh and he lifted a fist to cover his mouth.

"Good morning, Haru-chan," Makoto said with a chuckle.

"Drop the –chan."

"Yes, yes, sorry."

"Mako-chaaaan!" Nagisa rushed over and jumped on Makoto and held him tight.

"N-Nagisa-kun!" Rei scolded.

"There are so many sales and events happening in town today, Mako-chan! You'll go shopping with us, right?" Nagisa asked.

"O-Oh, of course!" Makoto said with a smile. He glanced around the kitchen as Nagisa got off of him and cheered. "Um… is Kanade coming, too?" Makoto asked.

Gou, Nagisa, and Rei exchanged looks and then peered back at Makoto. Their lips twitched into evil smirks and Nagisa lifted a hand to his chin.

"Why are you so concerned about Kanade-chan?" Gou asked.

"Yeah, yeah! Why do you want Kana-chan to go with us?!" Nagisa asked, wriggling his eyebrows suspiciously.

Makoto's face flushed red and he lifted a hand to scratch his cheek. He looked at the ground and took a deep breath.

"W-Well, K-Kanade is…"

"What about me?"

Makoto turned his head to the doorway of the kitchen and saw Kanade walking in with a towel hanging around her neck. She locked eyes with Makoto and smiled fondly at him, her eyes squinting. Makoto felt his chest clench and he turned back to his friends.

"Kanade is… my girlfriend," Makoto finished.

The three of them lit up instantly, just as Makoto's parents did the day before. Gou squealed and put her hands on her cheeks. She rushed over to Kanade and wrapped her in a hug.

"Ah, congratulations, Makoto-senpai!" Rei said with a smile. Nagisa pouted and put his hands on his hips.

"Of course Mako-chan is the first one to get a girlfriend," he said with his cheeks puffed and his lips pouted.

"Now, now, Nagisa-kun," Rei said, patting his shoulder. Nagisa only puffed out his cheeks further and then pumped his fists.

"Fine, fine!" Nagisa said, waving his hand at Rei. "So, when are we going out?" he asked, his bubbly personality back in full force.

"After breakfast," Haru said, shifting the spatula around in the pan.

Everyone quirked a brow and moved to look in the pan on the stove.

"Haru!" Makoto whined.

"M-Mackerel?" Rei stuttered.

"Again?" Gou sighed.

"Oooh, making mackerel, Nanase-kun?" Kanade said. Her gaze was dulled and her voice lacked excitement, but her mouth watered at the sight. Haru nodded.

"Oh, that's right! Kana-chan likes mackerel!" Nagisa noted.

"It's good for you," Haru said with a slight sparkle in his eye. He held out the pan. "It's done."

"Seriously, Haru, can't you make a normal breakfast?!" Makoto whined again.

"I'll take some!" Kanade announced, lifting her hand into the air.

Makoto sharply turned his head to look at her.

"What?! Not you, too!" Makoto said.

Kanade looked up at him and gave a small smile. She shrugged and scratched her cheek, then reaching to grab a plate.

Makoto jolted a little.

That smile just now… looked forced.

"Go for it, Kana-chan!" Nagisa egged on. Kanade giggled at him.

Makoto watched them as they started to chat with each other, eyeing Kanade's face carefully. He was able to study her now that she was so close and not in Gou's clutches. Her eyes were bloodshot with dark circles sitting underneath. She seemed to sigh after each sentence as if speaking was a marathon in itself.

Makoto furrowed his brows.

What was wrong?

Haru placed a piece of mackerel on Kanade's plate and then turned to look at his best friend. Makoto's face was crestfallen, worry lines etched into his forehead. But, as soon as Makoto locked eyes with Haru, a strained smile forced its way on his face.

Haru frowned and then pointedly looked at Kanade, narrowing his eyes at her. A flicker of pain flashed across her eyes and he winced.

He fished for his phone in his pocket and opened it quietly as his friends chatted with one another. He started a new text.

 _I think Shizumi needs help._

Send.

* * *

"What about this?" Nagisa asked, lifting up the shirt from the rack.

"Hmm."

Makoto squinted and looked at the shirt. Sure, it was nice, but… should he really get something so… plain?

"I'm looking for something a little different," Makoto admitted.

Nagisa blinked up at him and then cocked his head. He folded the shirt carefully and set it back down.

Gou had dragged Kanade off to other vendors down the street, leaving the original relay team to search for presents on their own. When Makoto brought up that he wanted to find a nice present for Kanade, Rei and Nagisa set to work, pointing out different suggestions for him at every stall. Haru was eyeing the art stalls and, of course, the "Saba-2-Go" stall.

Makoto deadpanned. Couldn't the fishermen in this town compete in catching a different kind of fish?

"Have you considered something like this?" Rei asked, pointing to something else in the store.

The four of them gathered where Rei was pointing, and the three of them had different reactions. Nagisa "oohed" and Haru deadpanned, seeming uninterested. Makoto's face flushed a little.

Behind a glass case was an array of different jewelry.

Including some diamond rings.

Rei was definitely gesturing towards the necklaces and bracelets, but Makoto found his gaze wandering back to the rings.

"Um, this is…" Makoto stammered.

"Women _love_ jewelry, Makoto-senpai!" Rei said, putting a hand to his chin and smiling confidently.

"These are pretty expensive, Rei-chan," Nagisa mentioned.

Rei's brow twitched and he took his hand from his chin to look at the display.

"Those earrings are not that expensive," Rei pointed out.

"Ah, but I don't think Kanade's ears are pierced…" Makoto said timidly.

"They aren't," Haru said bluntly.

"Oooh, then what about _this_?" Nagisa said, pointing to the solitaire diamond ring in the display.

Makoto's eyes flitted over the ring and he sputtered, straightening his back and lifting a hand to scratch his cheek.

"Isn't it, well… I mean, don't you think…" Makoto stammered.

"Nagisa-kun, it's simply too early for something like that!" Rei scolded, putting his hands on his hips.

Nagisa turned to look at Rei and cocked a brow.

"It is?" Nagisa asked.

"They've only been together a month," Rei said.

Makoto chuckled at that, his blush still pink on his cheeks.

"It's felt like _years_ ," Makoto mumbled shyly.

The three of his friends all gaped at him, Nagisa speaking up first.

"Oooh, Mako-chan! Do you love her?!" Nagisa asked, getting close to Makoto and peering up at his face with a giddy expression.

Makoto opened his mouth and then shut it, feeling embarrassment heat up his face and ears. He smiled fondly and lifted up a hand to rub the back of his neck.

"Mmn," Makoto hummed.

Nagisa's and Rei's eyes widened and they looked at each other, both sputtering nonsense about how exciting this was. Haru simply wore a small smile, feeling proud that Makoto could voice his feelings for her.

"Well, if you love her, then why not get her something nice?" Nagisa asked, pointing back to the glass case.

Makoto's blush deepened, the redness tainting the tips of his ears. He looked away from his friends.

"W-Well, I mean… I _do_ want to get her something like that, but…" Makoto paused, looking at the rings and then back to his friends. "I want… I want to get her something… _really_ nice… one day, so… I need to save up to… to buy… a nice one."

Haru's body jumped at that and he barely heard the gasps and happy cheers from Nagisa and Rei.

A "nice" one.

One.

Meaning a ring.

Makoto was… thinking about…

"Aw, so you don't want to get her jewelry, then?" Nagisa whined, snapping Haru out of his thoughts.

"M-Maybe not this year," Makoto said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm wanting to get something… a little more practical, but still sentimental."

"Oh, good choice, Makoto-senpai," Rei said, adjusting his glasses. "But what did you have in mind?"

Makoto frowned a little. "Kanade has been acting a little… strange lately. I'm thinking it might be stress since tryouts are so close. So I want to get her something that will encourage her."

"Hmm." Both Nagisa and Rei folded their arms across their chests and thought hard about what to get.

Makoto glanced at the three of them, watching as they thought hard about what to get. He could not help but smile, seeing that his friends cared so much about this.

While they were deep in thought, Makoto glanced around the shop until his eyes landed on a few scarves that hung in the corner. His mind immediately brought him back to the day before.

 _"Don't you have a scarf or anything?"_

 _"No, not really. I haven't really had… time to go and buy things, I guess."_

There was a light blue scarf that was hiding underneath a bright purple one. It was hard to see at first, but Makoto could see something white stitched into its fabric on the end. He walked over to the scarf and pulled it down off of the display. His eyes widened when he saw the design.

"Mako-chan," Nagisa called from behind.

"Did you find something, Makoto-senpai?" Rei asked.

Makoto turned and lifted up the scarf in his hand with a huge smile on his face. The other three saw the design stitched into the light blue fabric and they smiled and nodded in approval.

"It's perfect," Haru commented.

* * *

"Oh, Kanade-chan! That's a perfect gift for Makoto!" Gou said, looking over Kanade's shoulder. Kanade smiled and looked down at the gift in her hands.

It was a sleek keychain, with Makoto's name engraved on one side and on the other side was a map of Tokyo, with a star highlighting the town of Iwatobi. She wanted to get something that would remind Makoto of home, and she wanted to get something more personal for him.

She had the specifications for it sent out a few weeks ago, and it arrived right before they left for Iwatobi. She was grateful that it came in on time.

"I wanted to get him something a little more personalized," Kanade said. "It's… small, but… I hope he likes it."

"Pssh, if it's from _you_ , then he'll love it," Gou said with a smile.

Kanade smiled and then pocketed the gift, stuffing her hands back into her hoodie pockets and then staring at the ground as they walked down the street. They passed several stalls in silence until it was too awkward for Gou to handle. Gou peered at Kanade's face, seeing the fatigue lingering in her blue eyes and the frown that pulled at her lips.

"You okay, Kanade?" Gou asked softly.

Kanade turned her head and put on a tense smile, even though her eyes winced.

"I'm fine," she said. She turned her head back to look at the pavement and heaved a long sigh.

The pain was flaring up again. Every step turned into a trudge. It was as if she was constantly climbing up a mountain. Her hands closed into tight fists inside of her pockets and her brows pulled together.

 _Coach Hamade died around Christmas. I wonder if he went out shopping like this right before? Did he celebrate with family?_

Kanade's jaw clenched and she grimaced as her heart pounded with more pain. She was unaware that Gou was still staring at her.

"Let's sit," Gou said, suddenly grabbing her arm and pulling her aside. Kanade blinked at Gou in surprise, but she let Gou lead her to a bench.

Kanade sat down and hunched over, resting her forearms on her thighs and hanging her head. Her breaths turned uneven and she coughed a few times. Gou rubbed Kanade's back soothingly.

"You okay?" Gou asked again, and Kanade knew that Gou wanted the truth this time.

Kanade nodded and then straightened, her breaths starting to even out. Her hand was gripping her chest.

"What happened?" Gou asked, her brows furrowing. She eyed Kanade's hand that fisted her jacket near her chest. "Are you in pain?"

Kanade hesitated and then turned to face Gou. She sighed.

"Yeah, a little," Kanade said. She was not exactly lying, but she did not tell the whole truth.

"Did this just spring up today? I mean… you aren't swimming or anything," Gou said.

Kanade bit her lip, unsure if she should tell Gou. She glanced up at Gou's concerned eyes and she sighed again.

She hoped she would not regret this.

"It's been happening since mid-November," Kanade admitted.

"What?" Gou asked, her eyes widening. "You mean… you've been in _constant_ pain since then?"

Kanade nodded.

"All the time?"

"That's… what constant means, right?" Kanade asked with a chuckle.

"Kanade, take this seriously!"

"I am, I am!" Kanade said, waving her arms in front of her. If Gou was anything like her older brother, Kanade did _not_ want to be on her bad side.

"Does Makoto-senpai know?" Gou asked.

Kanade felt her brow twitch. His friends were so protective.

"I'm going to tell him later," Kanade said. She could practically feel Haru glaring at her from here. "Promise."

Gou looked skeptical, but she conceded and nodded. She rested her hands on her knees and looked at Kanade thoughtfully.

"How did this happen?" Gou asked.

"Ah, well… I ended up in the hospital last month," Kanade answered.

"What?!"

"Gou-chan, really, not so loud," Kanade groaned. "It wasn't too bad, really, but ever since then, I've been in pain."

Gou hesitated, her expression turning sad and worried. "You should really see a doctor…"

Kanade blinked at her but then smiled.

"I will once the tryouts are over," Kanade said.

Gou pouted. "Promise?"

Kanade nodded. "Promise."

Gou heaved out a sigh, thankful for Kanade's cooperation.

"Good. Well… you okay to go now?" Gou asked. Kanade smiled and nodded, standing to her feet.

Gou started to lead her down to another stall and she took out her phone. She quickly typed a message.

 _Something's wrong with Kanade-chan._

Send.

* * *

"Ah, there they are!" Nagisa waved down Kanade and Gou and the group was together again.

They had gathered near the beach, where the last of the stalls and shops had tapered off. The sun had set, leaving the sky in an array of purple and blue hues. The shops' lights were the only thing guiding the group along in the dark paths.

Makoto walked up to Kanade and Gou, a few shopping bags in his hands.

"Whatchya got there, Makoto-senpai?" Gou asked, trying to take a sneak peek in the bag. Makoto jolted and put on a nervous smile.

"J-Just some gifts for the twins," Makoto said.

"Oh, really?" Gou said with a smirk. She turned to Nagisa and Rei and started to chat with them while Makoto walked up to Kanade.

"Have fun?" Makoto asked.

Kanade looked up at him and nodded, her small smile painted on her face. Makoto frowned, sensing something wrong.

"Did something happen?" Makoto asked. Kanade's smile suddenly fell, and her mask crumbled. Makoto felt his heart leap in his chest as alarm spread through his body. "Kanade…"

"Hey, look!" Nagisa said from behind. Makoto and Kanade turned towards him and saw him pointing to a certain food stall. "I'm starving!" Nagisa whined.

"Must we eat now?" Rei asked.

"Oh, c'mon, Rei-kun!" Gou said, grabbing his arm. She wrapped her other arm around Haru's. "Let's go eat something. And then we can get hot chocolate!"

"Hot chocolate?!" Nagisa said, his magenta eyes shimmering.

"Yes! Let's go!" Gou said.

Makoto watched the group walk towards the stall, seeing Kanade's shrunken figure taking heavy steps behind them. He reached out and grabbed Kanade's wrist and pulled her back next to him. Her eyes were surprised– the most lively they had been all evening.

"We'll catch up in a minute," Makoto said to them.

Haru stared for a moment, watching them both, but then followed the rest of the group.

Makoto sighed in relief, thankful for Haru's understanding of the situation, and he turned back to look at Kanade. She was staring out at the ocean vacantly, a frown pulling at her lips. She seemed sad.

 _No,_ Makoto thought.

 _She looks… lost._

"Kanade," Makoto called gently.

Kanade turned her head to look at Makoto, her eyes still a little vacant. Her blue eyes were dulled, the sparkle that she usually has nowhere to be seen.

"You… are you okay?" Makoto asked.

His lips were pulled into a frown and worry lines creased his forehead and brows. Kanade bit her lip as her eyes focused on him and her hands clenched by her sides. Her thoughts drifted back to that memorial in the swimming building. The smile on Coach Hamada's face was so gentle and so kind.

How could she have forgotten him?

The one person who started her dream? Who pushed her to her dream?

Why was this plaguing her every thought?

What happened to make her forget?

"You've been… distant," Makoto said after Kanade remained silent. "I'm… worried."

Kanade gulped and gazed at the ground, her thoughts running a mile a minute. Nothing made sense. She had not really thought about these memories in that specific detail. It seemed that something happened to make her block out everything about Coach Hamada, and only recently had it resurfaced.

Why did the memory of him come back _now_?

Kanade stared up at him and really, _truly_ looked at him. Her brows curved upwards sadly and tears pricked at her eyes. She reached out her hand to grip his sleeve, unable to do anything else.

"Kanade…" Makoto whispered, his voice gasping in alarm.

"I've been… remembering things," Kanade said, tugging on his sleeve.

Makoto was taken aback by her sudden voice. "R-Remembering things?" Makoto echoed when he found his voice.

Kanade nodded. "Yeah, about when I was young."

Makoto paused. He gently took her hand that tugged on his sleeve and entwined his fingers with hers.

"Tell me about it," Makoto urged gently. Kanade squeezed his hand.

"It… I remembered my first swimming coach," Kanade started.

"Oh? Your first swimming coach?" Makoto asked. "What was he like?"

Makoto saw Kanade smile a little. "He was really kind and patient, and he loved kids. He was really gentle and always had a smile on his face." Kanade turned her head to look up at Makoto. "He would always reassure us and was a really great teacher. He… he…"

Kanade paused when she saw Makoto's gentle face smiling fondly down at her, truly listening to every word she said. His head was tilted to the side in that cute, loving gesture of understanding and thoughtfulness.

Kanade felt her heart jump.

She realized why those memories of Coach Hamada had resurfaced.

"You… remind me of him," Kanade said.

Makoto's brows shot up and his smile vanished as his lips parted in surprise.

"Me?" Makoto asked.

Kanade nodded and smiled softly. "Yeah. You act just like he did. And you're a great teacher, just like he was."

While Makoto was flattered that Kanade was giving him so many compliments, he felt something churn in his stomach. Why was Kanade talking in past tense about her coach?

"Kanade," Makoto started, gripping her hand and getting her attention. "What happened to him?" he asked carefully.

Kanade's smile fell and her shoulders slumped. Her grip on Makoto's hand slackened and she felt numb.

"He…"

 _"He was invited to try out for the national team."_

 _"He got in a terrible car crash."_

 _"Mr. Hamada died last year."_

 _"Mr. Hamada died last year."_

 _"_ _ **Mr. Hamada died."**_

"He… died in a car crash," Kanade said. Her lip quivered and her vision blurred.

She felt her chest constrict as a choked sob escaped her lips. What was this? She did not cry this hard for him when she found out.

Actually… what did she do after she found out?

Oh, right.

She just met up with Takuya and… forgot all about it...

 _"Oh, hey, Kanade," Takuya greeted._

 _Kanade approached him with heavy legs, dragging her feet to sit next to him in the café._

 _"You're back earlier than I expected," Takuya said with a bitter grunt._

 _"Oh, yeah," Kanade hummed._

 _Takuya cocked a brow at her._

 _"Everything okay?" he asked._

 _Kanade looked at him._

 _And then she forced a smile._

 _"Of course!"_

Kanade felt sick to her stomach. She just… ignored it?

Only one more choked sob escaped her lips before she was pulled into a strong chest and warm arms wrapped around her. The wind was almost knocked out of her with how quickly she was pulled into Makoto's chest, but she immediately pushed her face into his jacket and broke out into sobs.

"I… f-forgot about him," Kanade sobbed. Her hands gripped his jacket.

"Hey… it's okay," Makoto said, rubbing her back gently. He combed through her hair.

They stayed like that for what seemed like ages, Makoto rubbing her back and whispering reassuring things into her ear. He kissed the top of her head and hugged her close, trying to shield her from the bitter cold. He was swaying their bodies back and forth in a gentle rhythm, his eyes flitting up to look at the stars.

"The stars are pretty," Makoto commented, trying to get Kanade to focus on something else. He felt Kanade shiver in his arms and then freeze, her sobs relaxing. Makoto ran a gentle hand down her back. "It reminds me of when you helped me with my fear of the ocean. Remember that?"

Kanade hesitated and then nodded against his chest. Makoto smiled. He rubbed her back again and started to describe the stars to her. After a while, Kanade was reduced to soft sniffles, her forehead still buried in Makoto's chest.

"Sorry," Kanade apologized, interrupting him.

Makoto hesitated and then placed his hands on her shoulders. He moved her delicately as if she was a tiny flower, and he stared down at her eyes.

"Hey, remember what you always tell me? Don't apologize," Makoto said, winking at her.

Kanade sniffed and then smiled up at him. She reached up to wipe her eyes and Makoto leaned down to kiss her forehead sweetly.

"You okay?" Makoto asked as he pushed some of her hair behind her ear. Kanade smiled a little and nodded. "Good. Thank you for telling me."

Kanade stared up at him, feeling more tears prick at her eyes. But she smiled and nodded, feeling warm.

"Kana-chan! Mako-chan!"

Makoto took his hand from Kanade's face and straightened, smiling when he saw Nagisa waving at them to join. Makoto turned to Kanade and gave her a reassuring smile, and she smiled just as brightly back.

"Let's go."

* * *

"Good night, Kana-chan! Mako-chan! Haru-chan!" Nagisa yelled from the train station as Makoto, Haru, and Kanade got off. The three of them waved off Gou, Nagisa, and Rei and watched the train leave the station.

Makoto took ahold of Kanade's hand and started to lead her out of the station. He chatted normally with Haru on the way and Kanade let her eyes glance around the scenery. The ocean was beautiful as always and stars were scattered across the sky.

It was beautiful here.

They made it back to the stone steps and Haru took the lead and started up the steps his home.

"Oh, Haru, are your parents coming back tomorrow?" Makoto asked, making Haru stop and turn. Haru nodded and hummed.

Makoto smiled. "Good. Good night, Haru!" Makoto said, waving him off. Haru waved and started back up his steps.

Makoto then turned to look down at Kanade. "You ready for bed?"

Kanade nodded and started to follow, her hand in his. She saw Haru's back going up to his house and was suddenly thrust back in time to her conversation with Haru on the steps.

 _"You need to tell Makoto."_

Kanade jolted to a stop, also pulling Makoto to stop.

"Makoto, wait," Kanade said.

"Hm?" Makoto hummed, looking down at her with curious eyes.

Kanade hesitated, feeling his hand squeezing hers gently. She lifted up her free hand and clutched her jacket near her heart.

"I need to tell you something," Kanade said.

Makoto turned around completely and faced her directly, not letting go of her hand. He tilted his head and looked into her eyes.

"What is it?" he asked when Kanade remained silent.

Kanade took a long breath, letting out a heavy sigh.

"I've… well… ever since that incident last month, I've been having constant chest pains."

There!

She did it. She said it.

It was out.

No more secrets.

"Eh? You mean when Takuya showed up drunk on the street?" Makoto asked. Kanade nodded in response. "Kanade, that was over a month ago!"

"I know," Kanade said immediately. "But… it's not too bad, I promise."

Makoto did not seem convinced.

"Kanade…" he whispered, his face contorting in pain. "Are…"

Makoto seemed conflicted. He lifted up a hand to rub the back of his neck.

"Are you sure?" Makoto asked gently. He squeezed her hand harder. "I just… I want you to be safe."

Kanade's mouth twisted and she looked at the ground.

"I really want to try," she said softly. "Please."

Makoto looked at the top of her head, feeling his own heart break at the sight. She was shivering a little, and Makoto was unsure if it was because of the cold or… something else. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms.

"Just…" Makoto started. He cleared his throat when it cracked. "Just promise me that you'll stop if it gets too painful."

Kanade lifted her head and locked eyes with Makoto. Her blue eyes were sparkling with a renewed hope.

"I… I can still try out?" she asked.

Her mood completely changed, making Makoto feel warm inside. He smiled fondly and nodded.

"Oh, thank you, thank you!" Kanade said. She leaped up and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you, thank you!"

Makoto wrapped his arms around her shivering torso and giggled.

"Just…" Makoto started, lowering her to the ground and placing his hands on her shoulders. He pulled her back to look at her face. "Just promise me, okay? You need to tell me if the pain is unbearable. Please?" Makoto said, trying to hear the words from her own mouth.

Kanade's face turned serious and she nodded.

"I promise."

* * *

"Ah, this one is for Ran!" Mrs. Tachibana said, passing Ran a beautifully wrapped present.

Ran's little eyes lit up as she received the present. She quickly opened it and found a new sweater hidden inside. Her eyes brightened at the gift and she dove for her mom and hugged her neck.

"Thank you, thank you!" she cried.

Mr. and Mrs. Tachibana both smiled as the last of the gifts were passed out. Then, Mrs. Tachibana went to finish the Christmas cake while the twins were busy playing with their toys. Kanade and Makoto sat in the living room. The TV was on, but neither of them were watching.

Makoto was staring down at the present in his hands. He rubbed his thumb over the keychain, tracing his name at the bottom. He flipped it over and stared at the map of Japan with the star resting on the city of Iwatobi. He smiled. The gift was small, but something he wanted to cherish.

Kanade watched Makoto smile as his thumb rubbed over the engravings. She smiled at him, feeling relieved he actually liked the present. She was worried that it was too small, or not flashy enough.

But she knew Makoto was not that kind of guy.

Despite the nagging pain in her chest, she felt warm.

She was about to move closer to him when her phone suddenly rang. They both jumped and Kanade hurried to fish the phone out of her pocket. When she saw who was calling, she quirked a curious brow and cocked her head.

"Everything okay?" Makoto asked her.

"Um, yeah," Kanade said. She stood to her feet and headed to the front door. "I think I should answer this," she said, quickly putting on her jacket. "I'll be back!"

"Ah, okay!" Makoto called.

Kanade quickly stepped outside and answered the call.

"Um… hello?"

" _What the hell are you doing_?"

Kanade grinned. "Well, hello to you, too, Rin."

"Cut the crap, Shizumi! What's going on?" Rin barked on the other line.

Kanade winced a little at the volume of his voice. "What do you mean?"

"I've been getting texts from Haru and Gou saying that you're acting weird," Rin said.

Kanade sighed and threw her head back to look up at the stars. Now she regretted telling them anything.

"Just… things have been happening, that's all," Kanade said.

Rin paused. Hearing silence on the other line was a little unsettling.

"You're not… changing your mind about trying out, are you?" Rin asked softly.

"Huh?! What? No, o-of course not!" Kanade squeaked. "This is something I absolutely need to do."

Rin took a longer pause at that.

"Why?" Rin asked.

Kanade blinked, feeling her breath hitch in her chest.

"W…Why?" she echoed

"Why do you swim?"

Kanade blinked for a second, her brows furrowing. She replayed his sentence over and over again in her head.

"Why… do I swim?" Kanade repeated.

"Yes, yes!" Rin said. "Why do you swim?"

"Um…" Kanade stammered. "I…"

"That's what I would figure out first," Rin said. "You have to make sure that you're swimming for yourself. Not for anyone else."

Kanade remained silent for a moment, unsure of how to answer. She bit her lip and looked up at the night sky. Countless stars were twinkling brightly in the black sky. The cold nibbled at Kanade's fingers and she buried herself further into her jacket.

She wondered if it was this cold when Hamada died. Did he have any family who cared? Did he—

"Kanade?"

Kanade jolted, almost dropping her phone.

"Ah…" she whispered. She huffed out a sigh, seeing her breath in the air. "Sorry," she said after a while.

Rin paused on the other line.

"What's going on?" Rin asked gently.

Kanade's mouth twisted as it pulled back into a grimace.

"It's noth—"

 _"_ Start being more open and honest. Don't run away _."_

Kanade stopped, feeling her chest constrict painfully again. She closed her eyes and took a long, slow breath.

"It's… about what you said," Kanade said.

"About… who you swim for?" Rin asked.

"Mmn," Kanade hummed. "You see… my first swimming instructor…"

Kanade bit her lip, feeling her bones shivering. Why did she have to tell this story again?

"He wanted to be in the Olympics, but was injured," she said. She heard Rin take a sharp breath on the other line. "Years later, after he recovered, he was asked to try out for the national team."

"O-Oh?" Rin said, his voice tentative.

"Yeah," Kanade said. Her lip trembled. "But… he got in a car accident on the way to the tryouts, and... well..." Her voice trailed off. She felt tears prick her eyes and she took a slow breath through her nose to stop them from flowing.

"Oh," Rin said sadly. "Geez, Kanade, I'm… I'm really sorry."

"Eh? O-Oh, no, no! Don't be sorry!" Kanade said. "Anyway… he, and my caretaker… they are the reasons I swim. I want to be able to win a medal for them. I want to take home a gold for them when they never could."

Rin took a long pause this time, and Kanade heard a faint sniffle on the line.

"R-Rin?" Kanade called. "Are you—"

" _I'm not crying_ ," Rin said immediately.

Kanade blinked for a second and then burst into a cheerful giggle.

" _Oi, don't laugh!_ " Rin yelled.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Kanade apologized with a chuckle.

"You need to stay healthy…" Rin said seriously.

"Huh?" Kanade asked, her smile falling from her face.

"You're not overworking yourself, are you?" he asked. His voice sounded pained and concerned.

"Hm?" Kanade hummed.

Rin paused again.

"I heard from Haru and Gou," Rin said. Kanade's eyes widened a little. "You were in the hospital last month."

Kanade gulped. "Mmn," she hummed.

"You can't do that," Rin said firmly.

Kanade blinked and cocked a brow.

"Huh?" she asked.

"You have to stay healthy so you can stand on the international stage," Rin said. "You got that?!" he yelled.

Kanade straightened and tilted her head. She blinked, forgetting to answer him.

" _Oi!_ Are you listening to me?!" Rin yelled.

"U-Uh, y-yes!" Kanade said.

"You make it to those tryouts, you hear me?" Rin said. His voice quivered.

"R-Rin…"

"I want to be able to get more medals than you," Rin said, and Kanade giggled a little. "And… I want you to be able to take home a medal for your old man and your late instructor."

Kanade blinked for a second and then smiled fondly.

"Mmn. I'll do my best," Kanade said.

"Good," Rin said.

"Kanade!"

A familiar voice jolted Kanade out of her phone call and she turned around to find Makoto standing in the doorway of his house, waving his hand to her.

"We're about to cut the cake!" Makoto said cheerfully.

Kanade waved back and smiled. "Coming!" she shouted back.

"Ah, you have to go?" Rin asked.

"Ah, yeah. You know how Makoto is with sweets, and there's a cake involved," Kanade said with a chuckle.

"Oh, yeah. Say, aren't you two dating now?" Rin asked, his voice teasing.

Kanade blushed.

"Eh?! W-Where did you hear that?" Kanade asked.

"Oh, Haru and Gou told me."

Kanade groaned and blushed. She rubbed the back of her neck.

"Um…"

"So it's true?" Rin asked.

"Mm… mhm," Kanade answered with a shy smile on her lips.

Rin chuckled lightly and then heaved a happy sigh.

"Good for Makoto. He deserves someone special in his life," Rin said.

Kanade's heart jumped in her chest.

"R-Rin…" Kanade whispered.

"Well, I'll let you get back to him. Don't have too much fun!"

" _Rin_."

"Haha! Later!"

Kanade heard the line click and the call ended. She rolled her eyes playfully and closed her phone, stuffing it back into her pocket. She headed towards the front door, Makoto leaning in the doorway with his arms folded across his chest. He had a gentle smile on his face.

"Everything okay?" Makoto asked.

"Ah, yeah," Kanade said. "Just talking to a drama queen."

Makoto quirked a brow and Kanade laughed, waving it off.

"So, cake?" Kanade asked.

"Oh, yeah, but… I want to give you something," Makoto said.

Kanade cocked her head and watched Makoto disappear back into the house. She stood frozen in place, unsure if she should follow him or wait. Before she could make any decision, Makoto was back with a white bag in his hand. He held out the bag to her and looked away.

"Um… I know it's not much, but…" Makoto rubbed the back of his neck shyly.

Kanade gently took the bag from his hand and sifted through the paper. She pulled out a light blue scarf and inspected it. It seemed pretty standard. The fabric was warm, so she could definitely use it in the city. And the color was nice, and there was—

Kanade froze.

At the end of the scarf were the Olympic Rings stitched pristinely in white thread.

Kanade snapped her head up to look at Makoto.

"You got this for me?" she asked softly.

Makoto blinked down at her, his face flushing.

"Ah, well… I know it isn't much or… fancy…" Makoto was stammering, insecurity beginning to crawl up his neck and back. "I just… you seemed down and stressed so… I wanted to—"

Makoto's words were swallowed in his throat as Kanade's lips pressed against his in a feverish kiss. She threw her arms around his middle, clutching onto his shirt to pull him closer. Makoto was startled at first, his eyes wide and his body frozen. But he quickly melted into the kiss, wrapping one hand around her waist and lifting the other to cup her cheek.

They broke the kiss, Makoto staring down at Kanade's glazed eyes. Her lips pulled into a fond smile and she squeezed him around his middle, pressing her face into his chest.

"Thank you, Makoto," she said from his chest. "I love" –you– "it."

Makoto smiled and gently combed his fingers through her hair, holding her close.

"You're welcome," he said softly. He planted a kiss on the top of her head and then placed his hands on her shoulders, gently pushing her back to look into her eyes. "Let's get you ready for the tryouts," he said, his face determined.

Kanade smirked and pulled her brows together.

"Yeah."

* * *

 _One week left._

 _Whatever it takes_

 _Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins_

Rin took a deep breath as he put on his swim cap. He glanced down at the glistening water underneath the hot sun.

He could feel it.

The energy flowing through his body like a wave.

It was… exciting.

"All right, Rin!" his instructor said in English. Rin nodded and bent down at the block.

"Ready. And… Go!"

Rin dove in.

 _Whatever it takes_

 _Cause I love how it feels when I break the chains_

Haru put on his goggles and stepped up onto the platform.

"Nanase, get ready," his coach said. Haru gave a curt nod and bent down, gripping the edge.

"Ready."

Haru tensed.

Then, he heard a whistle, and he propelled himself off of the ledge.

As soon as he hit the water, his body relaxed. Everything about being in the water felt natural and comfortable.

He felt…

Free.

 _You take me to the top I'm ready for_

 _Whatever it takes_

Kanade slapped the edge of the pool, sending water droplets flying. She gasped for breath, feeling her chest ache.

Was that run okay?

What if she could not do this?

What if this is too much to handle?

"Kanade."

Kanade saw a hand enter her vision and she glanced up.

Ah. Of course.

Makoto is here, with his bright smile and his gentle green eyes.

"You're ready," Makoto told her, a look of pride in his gaze.

Kanade stared up at him and returned his smile. She reached up and grasped his hand.

"Yeah!"

 _I do what it takes._


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

* * *

Kanade slapped the side of the pool, sending water droplets flying. She gasped in a breath, her shoulders heaving and panting. She gripped the side of the pool with white knuckles and stared down at her distorted reflection in the pool.

 _It hurts…_

Kanade winced and slowly climbed out of the pool and stumbled towards the locker room. She was in the rec center pool after hours, telling Makoto she wanted to take a few practice laps to prepare. But truthfully, she wanted to practice laps to calm her nerves.

Her body had been a shaking mess all week, causing her chest pain to increase. The pain was usually a dull throb, but as her nerves increased, so did the pain. She did not want to worry Makoto with this. He was already stressing over hers and Haru's races.

And if Makoto knew about her condition, Kanade knew that he would not let her compete.

As Kanade pushed open the door to the locker room, her legs buckled underneath of her and she collapsed onto the tile floor. She let out a strangled cry and tried to push herself up from the floor.

 _It… hurts…_

Kanade sat up and leaned her back against the cold wall, pushing a hand against her chest. Her heart was pounding furiously against her ribcage in uneven beats.

 _Calm down… calm down…_

Kanade leaned her head back against the wall and stared up at the ceiling.

 _Only two more days… just two more days._

Kanade closed her eyes and felt a tear slip out of her eye.

 _Let me get through the tryouts. I'll go to the doctor then. Please, just two more days…_

Kanade gripped her swimsuit near her heart as another painful wave surged through her chest.

 _Please._

* * *

 _To: Rin_

 _Don't lose._

Rin smirked down at his phone and then tucked the phone into his duffle bag. Haru always knew what to say to get under his skin.

And yet, it motivated him all the more.

"You ready for this, Rin?" Sousuke asked, handing him a bottle of water.

"Yeah," Rin said confidently. He took the water bottle and took a few light sips.

Rin, as well as the other Australian competitors, had already warmed up in the enormous pool. The sun was hot on their heads, Sousuke wiping his forehead every few minutes.

"You never told me Australia was so hot," Sousuke fussed. Rin only chuckled and threw the bottle back at him. He adjusted his swim cap on his head and glanced around the pool.

"It's winter back home, right?" Rin asked.

"Ah, yeah," Sousuke hummed. "Speaking of home, when are Japan's tryouts?" he asked.

"Oh, tomorrow," Rin answered. "Both Haru and Kanade are competing." He gave a big grin and started stretching his arms.

"You'll think they'll make the team?" Sousuke asked, folding his arms across his chest.

"Of course!" Rin said. He bent down to touch his fingertips to his toes, stretching out his back. "Haru's, well… he's Haru. And Kanade…" Rin paused, his eyes fixed on the concrete below. He had not spoken to her since Christmas. He wondered if she was doing okay…

Sousuke quirked a brow at Rin's hesitation.

"What?" he asked gruffly. Rin straightened and put a hand on his hip.

"Nothing," Rin said.

"Rin! Race starts in ten minutes!" came a voice in English from the side.

Rin nodded and waved him off. He reached up and tucked stray pieces of hair underneath his swim cap before putting his goggles onto his head. He pulled back the strap of the goggles and let it snap against the cap, bringing a chuckle out of Sousuke.

"You're going to break a pair one of these days," Sousuke said with a sweet smile.

Rin smirked. "Yeah, yeah," he said. "Wish me luck!" Rin said, and he started to walk towards the side of the pool.

"Rin," Sousuke suddenly called.

Rin stopped and turned to face Sousuke, his eyes widened slightly and curiosity painting his features. Sousuke's smile was gone, replaced by a serious expression.

"You remember our promise?" Sousuke asked.

Rin's body jumped at his words.

 _"The loser has to do any one thing the winner wants! And no hard feelings if you lose!"_

 _"I know already! When the secondhand reaches 60, we start, got it?"_

 _Rin pulled back on his goggles strap. "Let's do this!"_

Rin blinked at Sousuke, and then he smiled.

"Ah, right. The loser has to do whatever the winner wants, right?" Rin asked with a chuckle.

"Yeah," Sousuke said. He paused, glancing over to the pool and stuffing his hands into his pockets. "I've thought of something."

Rin put his hands on his hips. "What, at a time like this?" he asked with a brow raised and his smirk growing.

"Yeah."

Rin laughed and shook his head. "Well, a promise is a promise. What do I need to do?" Rin asked.

Sousuke glanced back at Rin and he took a step forward to meet him eye-to-eye. His teal eyes were somber and his hands were clenched into fists by his sides.

"Win this race," he said sternly.

Rin jolted, his smile falling from his lips.

"Sousuke…"

"That's what I want you to do," Sousuke said. He folded his arms across his chest again. "You have to do it."

Rin stuttered, feeling tears prick his eyes. He held them back, though, and lifted up a fist towards Sousuke.

"Yeah," Rin said with a bright smile. "I think I can handle that."

Sousuke smiled back and lifted up his fist. "Good."

They gave each other a fist-bump.

"Rin! Let's go!" his coach called.

"Ah, gotta go!" Rin said, and Sousuke nodded.

Rin waved him off and hurried out to the pool while Sousuke headed up to the bleachers. He took a seat on the hot bleachers and glanced down at the lane where Rin stood. His coach was talking to him about something, Rin listening intently with a determined look on his face. Then, Rin nodded and turned towards the block.

"Men's 100-meter freestyle, heat 1," the announcer said over the intercom. "Take your marks."

Rin stepped up onto the block and lowered his goggles over his eyes. He stared out at the pool, taking in the shine of the sun on the water. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could almost hear a crowd cheering.

When he opened his eyes, he looked to his side, and pictured Haru standing there next to him. Haru was standing on the block, looking bored like he normally did.

Rin smirked.

"You're going down, Haru," he mumbled to himself as he bent down at the block.

"Ready," the announcer said. Rin tensed, his hand gripping the edge of the block.

Then, the buzzer sounded, and Rin dove off of the platform. When he hit the water, he still pictured Haru in the next lane. He pictured Haru in front of him, beating him already.

 _Not so fast, Haru!_

Rin reached his arms further and propelled himself faster down the lane. After he made the turn on the far end, he pushed himself off of the wall and started to head back.

 _I'm winning this one!_

He passed this "Haru" in the next lane and accelerated down his lane, pushing past the competition in a breeze.

In the stands, Sousuke stood to his feet, his eyes widening as Rin made it halfway down the lane.

Had Rin always been this fast?

Rin finally made it to the start and he smacked his hand on the side of the pool, rearing his head back to gasp for a breath. He turned his head back to look at the boards, and he saw his name in his lane.

 ** _Rin Matsuoka - 1_ _st_**

Rin panted for a moment and then put on a huge smile. He turned to face the stands and searched for Sousuke's eyes. Once they locked eyes, Rin raised a fist into the air. And Sousuke smiled back, also raising his fist into the air.

Within seconds, Rin's coach and some of his teammates rushed over to congratulate him, practically yanking him from the water and throwing their arms around him. Sousuke smiled from the stands and put his hands in his pockets. He watched as Rin's teammates all laughed and smiled at each other. He took a deep breath and kept his smile, feeling his fists tighten in his pockets.

 _I'll catch up to you, Rin,_ Sousuke thought. _Just you wait._

* * *

Makoto stopped in front of the Tokyo Aquatics center and his jaw dropped. The building was enormous and fancy, blowing the rec center's facilities completely out of the water. When he walked through the front doors, he immediately had to show his ticket.

He felt his heart jump in his chest and then it started to ache as anxiety started to build. This was all so surreal and intimidating. He knew Haru could handle himself, but… how was Kanade doing? Was she okay?

He grabbed a program on the way into the pool and his eyes widened at the sight of the pool. It was _huge_ , the length seeming bigger than usual. He knew that the pool was the standard length, but the stands that surrounded it made it seem longer. He made his way towards the stands, his eyes peering down at the pamphlet.

Because of the weather, it was decided that both the men's and women's would take place in this center. The men's were in the morning while the women's were right after lunch.

Makoto kept walking towards the stands, his nose still staring into the pamphlet. He was reading over the particular sections, wondering when Haru's and Kanade's races would be. He wondered if Kanade's chest pains were bothering her. He wondered if Haru had eaten breakfast this morning. He wondered if—

"Oof!"

Makoto's thoughts immediately stopped when he ran into a smaller body. He fumbled with the pamphlet, almost dropping it. He put on a giddy smile, thinking he would look down and see Kanade standing in front of him.

His smile vanished.

It was Watabe.

Her irritable scowl deepened as she rubbed her shoulder from the impact, and she glared up at Makoto.

"A-Ah, s-sorry!" Makoto apologized, taking a step back.

Watabe huffed, looking as if she would explode at him. But then, her gaze softened as she peered at Makoto's face.

"Aren't you Shizumi's boy?" she asked.

Makoto jumped at her voice, but then his shoulders relaxed after seeing her gaze soften.

"Um… yes," he answered shyly. "Have… have you seen her? I'm looking for her."

Watabe's brows pushed together and Makoto felt his heart leap. What was with _that_ look? Could this girl be any moodier? He could feel sweat bead on his back.

"I think she's in the locker room," Watabe said. She brushed past Makoto and headed towards the locker room. "I'll go get her."

"O-Oh, thank you!" Makoto sputtered as she walked past.

Watabe simply lifted a hand to wave him off and she pushed open the door to the locker room. Since the women's races were not until later, the locker room was empty… save one person. Watabe could hear wheezing coming from the corner and she rushed around lockers towards the sound.

Sitting on the floor in the corner was Kanade with an oxygen mask held to her face. Her other hand was clutching her chest and she was doubled over in pain with her eyes squeezed shut.

Watabe felt her heart leap.

 _What is this?_

"Shizumi!" Watabe called, rushing over to her.

Kanade lifted up her head to stare up at Watabe. Her blue eyes widened when Watabe crouched down next to her with creased brows.

"Watabe… san?" Kanade panted. She took gasping breaths from the mask. "What're… you…"

"What is this?" Watabe asked, pointing to the oxygen tank sitting on the floor next to her. "Are you… sick?"

Kanade winced. "Please don't… tell th-the coach," Kanade begged through harsh gasps.

"Wait, he doesn't know?!" Watabe shouted.

"P-Please, don't… shout," Kanade rasped. She took slow, deep breaths and Watabe just sat there, staring. After a moment or two, Watabe sat down next to her and crossed her legs on the floor.

"So, what's happening here? What do you need?" Watabe asked.

Kanade turned to look at her, shock flashing across her face. The whole year, Watabe had been nothing but vicious and cruel, but now…

"It's… getting better," Kanade said. "My breaths are… evening out. But…"

Kanade looked down at her oxygen tank. The needle on the gauge was on E and she could barely feel any air coming from the mask at all anymore.

"But?" Watabe echoed.

Kande jolted and straightened. "N-Nothing."

Watabe sighed and pushed herself up onto her feet.

"Your boyfriend is here. He's looking for you," Watabe said.

Kanade's body jumped and she put the mask down.

"Ah, Makoto's here? Oh, no, I forgot to text him!" Kanade said, pulling out her phone to look through her messages. She sighed heavily after reading a few messages from him. "If he knew about this, then he'll probably worry. He won't want me to compete…"

Watabe put her hands on her hips, listening to Kanade's blubbering. She took a deep breath through her nose.

"I'll let him know you were changing."

Kanade stopped scrolling through her phone and looked up at Watabe. Her eyes were fierce as always but the rest of her looked gentle and kind.

"Th-Thank you, Watabe-san… I owe you," Kanade said.

Watabe headed out of the locker room and waved off to Kanade. "Yeah, yeah, just… hurry up."

Kanade watched her leave and then took one more breath through the mask. After feeling no air come out of the tank, she sighed and pushed the tank to the side. She pushed herself up onto wobbling legs and started to walk out of the locker room.

 _It hurts…_

Kanade pushed open the door and headed out to the pool area.

 _It hurts…_

She glanced up at the stands on the sides until she found Makoto sitting in the front row. He lifted a hand to wave at her, his mouth pulled into a wide smile and his eyes brighter than the sun.

Kanade forced a smile on her face.

 _It… hurts._

* * *

"You ready for this, Haru?" Torii asked as they exited the locker room.

"Yeah," Haru said with a little more power in his voice. Torii smiled down at him and put on his swim cap.

"I know you'll make it," Torii said with a little huff. "As for me? Heh, I'll be lucky if I even place."

"You'll be fine," Haru said plainly. Torii turned his head and looked at Haru in shock. "You've been working hard, Masato. You can do it."

Torii blinked at him and then put on a small smile. The skin underneath his eyes reddened a bit.

"Thank you, Haru," he said. "I'll do my best!"

Haru gave a small smile back and they lifted their hands to give a swift high-five. He watched Torii head to the pool for his backstroke heat, waving Haru off.

"Haru!"

Haru turned at the familiar voice and glanced up at the stands. Sitting in the front row was Makoto and Kanade. Makoto had his hand lifted into the air and he was waving at him. Haru felt a smile pull on his lips and he approached the stands.

As he got closer, however, his smile fell.

Kanade looked… _different._

"Hey, Haru!" Makoto greeted as Haru made his way up the steps.

"Hey," Haru greeted back.

"Good morning, Nanase-kun," Kanade greeted sluggishly. She had a tight smile on her face but her eyes were squinted.

Haru felt his brows twitch, remembering how she almost fainted over Christmas break. She was wearing the same pained expression as she did then.

"You ready?" Makoto asked, pulling Haru out of his thoughts.

"Yeah," Haru said plainly.

"When is your race?" Makoto asked.

"After the backstroke."

"Oh, so it's next?"

"Yeah."

Makoto smiled and glanced down at the pool, watching as the swimmers were getting ready near their lanes. Haru took a seat next to Makoto and leaned to him.

"Is Shizumi okay?" Haru whispered into his ear.

When Makoto's smile fell at his question, Haru knew right away that he understood what he meant. Makoto knew that Kanade was acting strangely.

"I hope so," Makoto whispered back, leaning close to get out of earshot. "She… looks really stressed."

 _'Stressed' might not be the right word,_ Haru thought.

"Is she in pain?" Haru whispered back.

Makoto turned to look at Kanade, who was staring down at the pool. Her eyes were wincing a little but her leg was bouncing nervously.

"She might be, but… she said she would tell me if it was unbearable," Makoto said. "She looks more nervous than anything else."

Haru looked back at Kanade and hummed in response, noticing how Kanade was fidgeting while watching the swimmers.

"Ah, but don't let it bother you, Haru," Makoto said, and he put on his normal smile. "I'll keep an eye on her."

Haru blinked a few times and then nodded. He faced the pool again and decided to trust Makoto's words. He hoped Kanade would tell Makoto if she was in pain.

"Ah, Nanase. You need to get down to warm-ups," Haru's coach said from down below.

"Yes," Haru said to his coach and he stood to his feet.

"Good luck, Haru!" Makoto called as Haru stood.

"You can do it, Nanase-kun!" Kanade called as he headed down the steps.

Haru turned to lock eyes with hers and he saw a brighter smile on her face. She gave him a thumbs-up and Haru could not help but smile back, nodding in response. He headed down the stairs and walked past the pool, staring at Torii's back as he walked by.

"Take your marks," the announcer said over the intercom.

The swimmers all jumped into the pool and grabbed the bars on the blocks. Haru watched as the buzzer sounded and Torii flung himself backward in his lane. A small smile flitted across his face. Torii's form was similar to Makoto's.

Haru made it to the warm-up area and started to stretch, keeping his eye on the boards as the swimmers made it to the end. The swimmers started to tap the starting wall and Haru turned his gaze towards the board.

 ** _Torii Masato – 2_ _nd_**

Haru smirked. He knew Torii could do it.

He watched as Torii climbed out of the pool and then turn his gaze up to the board. Shock flashed through his face and his eyes widened as he read the results. He turned his gaze back to Haru and he smiled brightly. Haru smiled back.

Once the backstroke swimmers had cleared the area, the announcer called for the freestyle swimmers to step forward.

Haru approached his lane and glanced out at the pool in front of him. It shimmered underneath the lights, such a familiar scene.

"Take your marks."

Haru stepped up onto the block and stared down at his lane. He remembered when Rin dragged him through Australia and then finally took him to the huge aquatics center.

Haru felt his toes curl at the memory.

He remembered the Australian man next to him, saying something that he did not quite catch, but he was inviting and warm and friendly. After a few words, the man dove into the pool, and Haru suddenly felt a rush of energy flowing around him as the imaginary crowd around him cheered. His blood flowing through his veins pumped faster and the heaviness in his heart had suddenly lifted.

That was when he knew he had found his dream.

Haru took a deep breath and lowered his goggles over his eyes. Now it was time to make this dream a reality.

"Ready."

Haru bent down at the block.

 _Rin. I'll see you soon._

Then, the buzzer sounded, and Haru dove into the pool.

"Haru!"

"Nanase-kun!"

Haru felt his heart leap inside his chest at hearing his name by his friends. He pushed forward, taking breaths every so often. He thought of all of his friends that helped get him to this moment, to this point.

 _Rin. Thank you for helping me to realize my dream._

Haru pushed again, taking another breath. He could sense another swimmer right next to him.

 _Rei, Nagisa. Thank you for believing in me._

Haru made his turn and pushed off of the wall, lifting his arms out of the water and thrusting them back in, moving the water aside to propel his body forward.

 _Makoto._

Haru felt his heart squeeze and he punched his hand into the water.

 _Thank you for always being there, no matter what._

Haru slapped his hand on the wall and reared his head back, hearing the crowd cheering. He ripped his goggles and swim cap from his head and shook his head to fling off the excess water. He turned his head to look at the board.

 ** _Nanase Haruka – 1_ _st_**

Haru panted and his eyes widened.

"Haru!"

Haru turned towards the stands, watching Makoto as he waved his hands in the air like a proud father. His smile was so bright and his cheeks were red. Were his eyes watery, too?

"You did it, Haru!" Makoto yelled at the top of his lungs.

Haru blinked, feeling something prick at his eyes. He smiled and waved back at Makoto, choking back tears.

* * *

Haru walked up the stands and was immediately greeted by Makoto, a huge smile on his face.

"You did it, Haru!" Makoto repeated, happily tilting his head.

Haru smiled at him and hummed. They found their seats and Makoto pulled out a bento for Haru that he had bought earlier at the concessions. Haru thanked him and started to dig in. Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced to the other side of Makoto, finding the seat empty.

"Where's Shizumi?" Haru asked.

"Ah, she went on to the locker room," Makoto said, his voice small and concerned.

Haru put his chopsticks down.

"Is she okay?" Haru asked.

Makoto's smile faltered and he looked down into his lap.

"I hope so," Makoto said. "She's been pushing herself so hard. I just want her to do well."

Haru blinked at him.

"I'm sure she'll do fine," Haru said, lifting more food to his lips.

Makoto hesitated, but then hummed, a smile returning his face.

"Yeah!" Makoto agreed.

"She'll be… fine."

* * *

Kanade leaned against the lockers, her hand pushed against her chest. The pain was starting to get overwhelming.

 _What's with this?_ Kanade thought. _I haven't even been swimming!_ _Could it be because of stress?_

She heaved in a few breaths, trying to calm her heart, but not enough oxygen filled her lungs. She got down onto the floor next to her bag and rummaged for the oxygen tank. She eyed the gauge on the side, still seeing that the needle was pointing to E. She sighed and lifted the mask to her mouth anyway, trying to take in deep breaths.

"You okay?"

Kanade snapped her head up to look into the concerned eyes of Watabe. She was also dressed in her suit with her swim cap on her head, ready to go.

"W-Watabe-san?" Kanade wheezed out. Watabe flinched at the sound and then crouched down next to her.

"Whoa, whoa," Watabe said. She reached out her hands but did not touch Kanade, unsure of what to do. "Can you do the tryouts?" she asked.

Kanade lowered the mask after not feeling any more oxygen and she nodded.

"I just… need a minute," Kanade said.

Watabe lowered her hands and watched as Kanade took more struggling breaths until her breathing evened out.

"Alright, Watabe-san and Shizumi-san! You're up!" came a voice from the locker room door.

"Right!" Watabe responded. She turned back to Kanade. "You sure about this?" she asked.

Kanade huffed out a sigh and stood to her feet. She yanked her goggles from her bag.

"More than anything," Kanade responded, putting the goggles over her head.

Watabe's brows lowered as she followed Kanade out of the locker room, keeping a close eye on her.

Kanade walked out to the starting block, her swim cap fitting snugly over her black hair. She took a deep breath, the pain starting to radiate down her arms, shooting tingling sensations to the end of her fingertips.

 _It hurts…_

Kanade huffed out a sigh.

 _But I have to push. I have to win this._

She turned her gaze up to look at Makoto. He sat in the front row of the stands next to Haru. He waved at her and gave her a big smile. Kanade's lips twitched into something that she hoped resembled a smile and lifted a shaking hand to wave back. She saw Makoto's face falter a little and his hand froze. Before he could mouth a question to her, she turned around and faced the pool, unable to look into his eyes any longer.

 _I have to do this._

 _For Fukui-san._

 _For Coach Hamada._

 _For…_

"Take your marks."

Kanade was pulled out of her thoughts by the announcement and she scrambled to put her goggles on over her eyes. She stepped up onto the block and stared out at the lane.

This was it.

The only chance she had at bringing home a medal for her loved ones.

She wanted to bring home at least one gold medal to hang at Hamada's memorial in her old swimming center. She wanted Fukui to be able to wear it, to be able to feel it, to be… proud and… happy.

No turning back.

"Ready."

Kanade bent down at the block and held onto the block. Her fingertips were so numb that she could not feel the metal edge of the block, but she tried to think past that. She glared down at the water, wanting nothing more than to conquer it, here and now.

She took a deep breath, trying to slow her heart, and listened carefully.

Then...

The buzzer sounded.

Kanade dove off of the platform and into the cold water, her body numbing. She kicked and made her way to the surface, punching her way through the water. She pushed herself forward, her entire body screaming at her to stop, stop, _stop_.

 _No,_ Kanade thought. _Even if I'm at the brink of exhaustion…_

Kanade was closing in on the far wall and she quickly made her turn.

 _…I must keep going. I must keep fighting. I must keep pursuing..._

Kanade pushed herself off of the wall, sending her down the lane in a flash.

 _For the future that I want!_

Kanade made it halfway down the lane, the adrenaline flowing through her veins. The pain was explosive but she forced herself to go even faster, her arms and legs pushing her body through the water.

She could see it, the starting wall.

 _Ba-dump._

It was so close.

 _Ba-dump._

She reached out a hand.

 _This is it!_

Kanade slapped the wall and reared her head back for air. She turned back and saw the other swimmers catching up seconds later, and she quickly turned to stare up at the board.

 ** _Shizumi Kanade – 1_ _st_**

Kanade blinked a few times, feeling her heart racing inside of her chest.

 _Ba-dump._

She did it.

 _Ba-dump._

She was going to the Olympics.

 _Ba-dump._

"Kanade! Ka-na-de!"

Kanade turned her gaze towards the stands and saw Makoto waving his hands at her excitedly. His giddy face was so bright and cheerful, and Kanade wanted to go and kiss it. She climbed out of the pool, her face still smiling and her body numb with excitement. She turned to Makoto and lifted a hand in the air to wave at him...

But then…

Something... changed... and...

She froze.

From the stands, Makoto put his hands down by his sides, his cheeks hurting form smiling so much.

"She did it, Haru!" Makoto said, turning his head to look at his best friend.

Haru was next to him, a smile also painted on his face. Haru nodded and him and then he turned around and started to pack up his bag on the stands.

"We should go congratulate her," Haru said, stuffing his jacket into his bag. "Then maybe we can call Rin. I'm sure he'll want to hear all about this," Haru said.

Makoto said nothing. Confusion flooded Haru's mind as he waited for a response from his best friend, but he was only met with silence. He continued to pack up his bag.

"Did you hear me?" Haru asked, zipping up his bag.

Still nothing.

"Makoto, what's—"

Haru finally lifted his head to look at his best friend and he felt his heart drop.

Makoto's eyes were wide and his lips parted. His hands were in tight fists by his sides and he was frozen in place.

He looked panicked.

"Makoto?" Haru asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Haru jolted when he felt Makoto trembling underneath his palm. He studied Makoto's face again and followed his gaze out to the pool.

Haru froze, his eyes also widening.

On the ground next to a starting block…

…was Kanade.

* * *

Hey, guys! Thanks for sticking with me all these months! The end is near...

~LuckE1


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45

* * *

 _The sound of someone collapsing to the ground brought the three of them to a stop._

 _Makoto was the first to turn around, seeing Haru's limp body crumpled onto the ground. His eyes widened in shock and he ran back to his best friend. His two other junior high teammates followed behind._

 _"Haru!" Makoto shouted, crouching down on the sidewalk next to him. He held Haru's shoulders and started to shake him. "Haru! Haru! HARU!"_

 _Makoto had not been scared like this since Haru almost drowned in that river trying to retrieve a friend's scarf when they were little. As Makoto stared down at Haru's unconscious form, he was afraid that this would be the last time he saw he best friend alive._

 _But, one trip to the hospital calmed all of his nerves._

 _Malnutrition._

 _That was it._

 _Makoto sighed in relief, realizing Haru would be okay._

 _He did not have to be afraid anymore._

 _His best friend was safe and sound._

 _Safe and sound._

 _Safe…_

* * *

There were many times in Makoto's life where he could remember being genuinely and truly frightened. Memories of his junior high days popped up into his head, and of course when the fisherman died, and thoughts of when Rei almost drowned certainly clouded his mind.

But those moments paled in comparison to this feeling.

This feeling of dread, anxiety, and confusion all clawing at his throat.

This feeling that made feel numb and heavy at the same time.

His stood frozen on the stands, vaguely hearing Haru's voice calling out to him. He could feel a hand touch his shoulder, and muffled voices whispered all around him.

On the ground near the starting block… was Kanade, crumpled onto her side with her face twisted in pain.

Makoto could not breathe.

He was in shock, he felt sick, he…

 _Terrified._

Makoto was terrified.

 **"Makoto!"**

Makoto jolted as his shoulder was shaken violently. He tore his eyes away from Kanade's limp body to stare into the eyes of his best friend. He felt his chest tighten.

Haru and Kanade had the same eyes.

What if he never got to see those blue eyes on Kanade ever again?

"Makoto!" Haru's voice called again.

Makoto flinched and concentrated on Haru's face. Haru did not say anything, just looked at Makoto with a worried expression on his face. Those intense, blue eyes stared back at him, snapping him to his senses and smacking the shock out of his system.

He had to go.

He had to get to her.

"I need to get down there!" Makoto yelled suddenly, and he took off.

Haru called his name and chased after him, following him down the steps of the stands and to the pool area. A few people had gathered around but Makoto pushed them out of the way to get to her. He knelt down by her side and took off her swim cap and goggles and held her head.

"Kanade!" Makoto called, and he shook her shoulders.

This scene started to bring back memories.

Haru collapsed onto the ground.

Makoto shaking his shoulders, yelling his name.

"Kanade!" Makoto called again.

There was no response. Makoto leaned down to her and put his ear to her mouth.

There was barely any air escaping her lips.

He bolted upright.

"Where's her bag?" Makoto asked aloud, looking around at some of the other swimmers that had gathered.

"I'll get it!"

Makoto turned his head and saw Watabe rush towards the locker room. He nodded at her, his brain too muddled to say the words "thank you." He turned back to Kanade and studied her face. Her face was relaxed, no longer twisted in pain.

Was she fading?

Was she… dying?

"Makoto."

Makoto glanced up to his side and saw Haru kneeling down next to him.

"Haru…"

"An ambulance is on its way," Haru said firmly.

Makoto blinked at Haru for a moment. When did he call for help? How much time had passed? Was it five minutes or five hours?

"Here's her bag!" Watabe said, suddenly in front of Makoto on her knees.

"Thank you," Makoto said, taking the bag from her.

He rummaged through the bag, taking out the blue scarf he had gotten her and her black hoodie. Finally, his hand hit something metallic and he pulled out her oxygen tank. There were some gasps and murmurings that surged over the crowd but Makoto did his best to ignore it. He put the mask to her mouth and watched for a moment.

She's still not breathing.

Why wasn't this working?

"Shizumi!"

Makoto glanced up and saw Kanade's coach approaching quickly, his brows furrowed and teeth grit. He fell down on his knees next to them and eyed Kanade carefully.

"What's going on here?" he asked frantically.

Makoto grimaced and still held the mask to her mouth.

"She needs to get the hospital," Makoto said solemnly.

"What? Why? What's going on here?" her coach pestered again.

"She's…" Makoto swallowed. "I think… I think she's having a heart attack."

Her coach stared back at him, wide-eyed and jaw dropped in disbelief. Watabe, too, was looking a little pale from the news.

"Is she going to be okay?" her coach asked, looking down at Kanade's unresponsive body in Makoto's arms.

Makoto shook his head in confusion and he shrugged, anxiety starting to overwhelm him.

"It's… it's not working," Makoto mumbled, too disoriented to focus on Kanade's coach.

He gazed over the oxygen tank and the gauge caught his eye. His heart dropped when he saw the red needle pointing below the 'E.' He took off the mask from Kanade's face and gently laid her on the ground. He leaned down and put his ear on her chest, listening carefully.

There was nothing.

Makoto's eyes shot open wide as he reeled back up into sitting position.

Her… heart… it's…

It's not beating!

 _It's not beating!_

Makoto's head spun, panic started to consume him to his core.

 _What do I do? What do I do? The ambulance isn't here yet! I have to…_

 _Chest compressions! I have to give her chest compressions!_

Makoto quickly put his hands together over her chest and started to pump. He could hear people whispering around him but he chose to ignore it again. He only had one thing on his mind.

He had to keep Kanade's heart beating.

"Makoto!" he heard Haru call from his side. "What's happening? Is she okay?"

Makoto turned his head to look his best friend in the eye and Haru jolted. Makoto had that look in his eye. It was the look that he had when the fisherman died. It was the look of raw fear and terror that Haru never wanted to see painted on his best friend's face ever again.

"Makoto…" Haru mumbled.

"Her heart…" Makoto said in between compressions. "It's… not beating."

Haru's eyes widened and he looked down at Kanade's body as Makoto kept pushing. Haru never realized how tiny she was. She was even shorter than Nagisa. And now, her small body was being put through so much wear and tear. Was she going to make it?

Suddenly, there came a strangled rasp from Kanade's lips, and Makoto stopped pushing down on her chest. He stared at her for a moment and then leaned down to put his ear to her chest.

It was weak and quiet, but there was a heartbeat.

Makoto's face scrunched up in relief and he sat up, continuing to hold her head.

"Make way! Watch out!"

Makoto and Haru looked up and saw two men carrying a stretcher rushing towards them. They knelt down to Kanade and gently moved Makoto out of the way. They put an oxygen mask over her mouth and carefully lifted her onto the stretcher. They started to carry her out to the exit where flashing red lights could be seen.

Makoto felt panic rise in his throat.

He wanted to go with her.

He needed to be by her side.

He could not lose her.

Makoto reached for Kanade's things but only managed to grab her hoodie. He took off towards the exit. He saw Kanade being lifted into the back of the ambulance and he ran towards it.

"Please, let me come with her!" Makoto begged, bowing slightly.

"No can do," the EMT said.

Makoto leaned up, feeling dread rise in his chest.

"B-But—"

" _He's family,"_ came a voice from behind.

Makoto turned around and saw Haru standing behind him, slightly panting from trying to catch up.

"H-Haru…"

"Fine, fine! All right! Get in!" the EMT shouted as he hooked up Kanade to some wires.

Makoto climbed inside the ambulance and gave one last horrified look towards Haru. He tried to put on a smile, but it faltered as his body shook.

"Th-Thank you, H-Haru!" Makoto shouted. Haru reached out his hand towards him.

"Mako—"

But then, the EMT's slammed the doors shut, cutting off Haru's words. He watched as the ambulance turned on its sirens and took off down the road. Something in Haru's stomach clenched. He wanted to be by Makoto's side through this. He did not want Makoto to be all alone in that hospital.

He knew Makoto hated hospitals.

"Haru!"

Haru turned around at the sound of his name and saw Torii quickly running towards him.

"Masato," Haru said.

"What happened? Where's Shizumi and Tachibana?"

"They went in an ambulance just now," Haru explained. He turned towards where the ambulance disappeared and he bit his lips. "I need to go."

Torii jumped and cocked his head. "Go?"

"I need to go to the hospital."

"What?! Now? But, Haru, the coach wants us back to—"

"Makoto is all alone with this," Haru said.

Haru's hands curled into shaking fists by his sides and his face pulled into a grimace. He glared down at the ground hard and Torii stared at him in shock. Haru was not one to show so much emotion, and Torii felt his chest tighten. His brows lowered and he straightened.

"Hurry and go," Torii said. Haru turned his head up to look at him, his lips parted. "I'll cover for you until you get back."

Haru blinked at him for a moment and then nodded. "Thank you, Masato!"

He only hesitated for a moment longer before he took off down the road.

* * *

"Heart is stable, for now."

"Check her 02 levels."

Makoto sat stiffly inside the ambulance, his hand gripping Kanade's limp one. The EMT's had an oxygen mask over her face and wires hooked up to her arms. One wire was attached to a screen that monitored her heart rate. It was a steady 93, but Makoto kept his eyes on Kanade's face.

She had not regained consciousness yet, and Makoto's chest felt cold.

Suddenly, the machine started to beep faster and faster until it escalated off of the charts. Makoto whipped his head up to look at the monitor, seeing that the screen could not even register how fast her heart was going.

Then, she flat lined.

Makoto's eyes widened and panic rose in his chest and throat.

"Kanade…" he whispered.

"Step back!" the EMT said in a frenzy, pushing Makoto's hand off of Kanade's.

Makoto sat back and watched as the EMT's grabbed the paddles and rubbed them together. Makoto's chest felt cold as they pressed them to Kanade's chest.

"Clear!"

Kanade's body jolted and Makoto cringed. His body started to shake and he buried his head in his hands. He could still hear the beep of the machine indicating that her heart was still not beating, and the EMT barked another "Clear!" He jumped when he heard the electrical wave pulse through Kanade's body.

Then, he heard the machine beep again.

"We've got a pulse!"

Makoto's eyes opened and his back stiffened. He whipped his head up to look at them. The screen beeped with Kanade's returned heartbeat, and Makoto felt so overwhelmed he thought he'd cry. He reached out with a shaking hand and grasped her hand again, holding on for dear life as the ambulance jostled on the busy highway.

* * *

After another grueling six minutes, the ambulance finally arrived at the hospital. Makoto was a shaking mess, one hand gripping Kanade's and his other hand clinging onto her black hoodie. Everything felt numb except for his chest, which throbbed with a sharp pain as worry consumed him.

Kanade's heart had stopped a _second time_ on the way over.

He could not let her go.

He did not want to let her out of his sight.

So he gripped her limp hand, her hand that still had blood pumping through its veins. He wanted to hold onto any hope, any evidence that she was still breathing, that her blood was still pumping, that her heart was still beating, that…

…that she was still _alive._

But, the EMT's forced him out of the ambulance, and he lost contact with her. A flutter of panic made his chest hurt worse and he ran after the stretcher into the hospital. Several doctors were gathered and ready to receive her. They asked the EMT's several questions about Kanade as they rushed her down the hall. Makoto tried to keep up, listening to anything that could be useful.

"She flat-lined twice on the way here," the EMT explained.

"We need to get her to the OR," a doctor said. "Take OR 2, now!"

Makoto felt his stomach lurch.

OR?

Didn't that mean…

Operating Room?

"Sorry, sir, but this is as far as you can go," one doctor said to him.

She put her hand on Makoto's chest to make him stop walking. Makoto froze at the sudden contact, snapping out of his daze and he looked down at the doctor in front of him.

"We're going to take of her, okay? You can't go through these doors."

Makoto stood there trembling, his hand gripping the black hoodie. He watched the doctors wheel Kanade's limp body through the double doors and towards an operating room. The doors shut behind them and they disappeared from his view.

 _Why was this happening?_

 _Just wake up. Just say this is a joke._

 _Someone, wake me up from this nightmare!_

Makoto stumbled back a few steps until he hit the wall and he slid to the ground. Tremors started to wrack his body, making him shake uncontrollably. He grit his teeth as tears threatened to spill from his eyes. He stared in disbelief at his hands, watching them tremble.

 _Couldn't I have done something?_

Then, he noticed the black hoodie that sat in his lap. He picked up the hoodie and pressed it to his face, taking in the smell. His breath hitched in his chest.

It was her smell.

* * *

Rin scrolled through the website and refreshed the page over and over.

"C'mon, just show me the damn results," he mumbled.

"Hey, mate, what's up?" his roommate asked him in English. Rin turned back to see his blond roommate hovering behind him. "Whoa, everything's in Japanese!"

"Of course it's in Japanese!" Rin said back to him in English. "I'm looking to see if my friends made the team for Japan."

"Oh, really? Would they have the results today?" his roommate asked.

"Yeah, it's supposed to come up soon," Rin said, clicking through different links on the page.

"What's supposed to come up soon?"

A deep voice in Japanese stunned Rin and forced him to turn his head around. Sousuke came out from the hallway and hovered behind him. His arm was no longer in a sling but there was still a gruesome scar on his shoulder.

"Oh, Sousuke!" Rin smiled. "It's the results for the national team!"

"Oh, great. More Japanese gibberish," his roommate groaned teasingly.

"Hey! Shut up!" Rin cackled.

"What did he say?" Sousuke asked, eyeing his blond roommate as he walked into the kitchen.

"Nothing important," Rin said. "Ugh, c'mon, dammit!"

Rin refreshed the page and sighed when the page remained exactly the same.

"You're impatient," Sousuke said with a smirk on his face.

" _Shut up_ ," Rin said bluntly. "I just need to know."

"You know they made it," Sousuke said, walking to the nearby couch and plopping down. He leaned back against the back of the couch and stared up at the ceiling. "What are you so worried about?"

"I'm not worried! I'm just excited! And I want the chance to beat Haru on an international stage," Rin said with a growling laugh.

Sousuke just smiled and shook his head. He watched as Rin refreshed the page again, and then the page popped up with new colors and longer articles.

"Oh! Here it is!"

Rin scrolled down to the men's team, reading each name carefully.

 _C'mon, c'mon, c'mon…_

His eyes lit up.

 _Nanase Haruka_

Rin's smile spread wide across his face at seeing that name on the roster. This was it. He and Haru would face each other on an international stage, standing side by side. The ultimate rival.

"Ah, so he made it?" Sousuke asked from the couch.

"Yeah!" Rin said excitedly.

"Told you."

"Shut up!"

"What about Makoto's girlfriend?"

Rin jumped and looked back to the screen. He scrolled down until he got to the section about the women's tryouts. There were no results up, but there was a long article. The headline read "Candidate Collapses After Stunning Finish."

Rin raised a brow at it for a second, and then his chest felt cold as his heart plummeted. He quickly sped through the article, hunching over to get close to the screen.

"No, no, no…" Rin muttered, frantically skimming over the article.

"What's wrong?" Sousuke asked, his voice sounding alarmed.

"H-Hold on…" Rin said.

He heard Sousuke get up from the couch and hover behind him.

"What's wrong? You look pale," Sousuke commented. Rin remained silent, his eyes glued to the screen and Sousuke grabbed his shoulder gently. "Oi!"

"I said hold on!" Rin said, his voice quivering. His eyes darted down the page until he came across a certain paragraph.

 _The results are on hold as a swimming candidate for the Olympic team collapsed immediately after the race. Shizumi Kanade was rushed to the nearest hospital and seems to have suffered a major heart attack…_

Rin stopped breathing.

 _Shizumi Kanade was rushed to the neares…_

 ** _Shizumi Kanade_**

Rin scrambled off of his chair and rushed to his phone on the coffee table.

"R-Rin?!" Sousuke called, his voice raised. He hurried to Rin's side. "What's going on?"

Rin's shaking fingers struggled to scroll down his contact list.

"I… I need to call someone."

* * *

Makoto was unsure of how long he sat on that cold floor, his face buried in Kanade's hoodie, but he felt that he could not move. He was stiff and frozen, his body unwilling to move from that spot. It was as if he was in a trance.

 _Please,_ he begged. _Please be okay._

 _I… I need you._

 _Please._

 _Don't leave me._

"Makoto?"

Makoto whipped his head up and his eyes widened. Standing in front of him was Haru. He was still wearing his tracksuit from earlier and his hair was still a little damp. Makoto's heart burst at seeing his best friend standing in front of him and he was unable to hold back any longer.

The trance snapped.

His trembling worsened, and he gripped the hoodie close to his chest. Tears sprung from his eyes and slid down his cheeks.

Haru was frozen in place, shocked by Makoto's tears. He had not seen Makoto cry since they were kids.

"H-Haruka…" Makoto whimpered out, more tears spilling from his green eyes.

Haru flinched at hearing his full name and then stared wide-eyed in shock.

Makoto glanced down at the hoodie and buried his eyes into it, taking in Kanade's smell and hiding his tears. "She… she's…"

Haru snapped out of his daze at hearing Makoto's quivering voice and he closed his eyes for a moment. After taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and sat down next to Makoto. Haru watched Makoto's hands as they shook while holding the hoodie to his face. His knuckles were white, and the tremors were making the muscles in his arms flex uncomfortably.

Haru winced a little, seeing his best friend falling apart in front of him. He grabbed Makoto's wrist, making Makoto jump and he popped his head up from the hoodie.

"Haru?" he whimpered again.

"You need to breathe," Haru said, staring back at him with his usual blank eyes.

Makoto opened his mouth to protest but Haru stopped him by grabbing his hand, interlacing their fingers together. Makoto stared down at their hands, a little in shock and in disbelief.

"It will be okay," Haru said, turning his head away.

Makoto whipped his head back up to look at Haru. His chest swelled and his eyes fogged as more tears blocked his vision. He squinted his eyes and grimaced, trying to control the tears.

Makoto closed his eyes and leaned his forehead down on Haru's shoulder. Haru squeezed Makoto's hand as if telling him it was okay to let it out. He could feel Makoto's body shiver against him as he sobbed quietly on his shoulder.

"Wh-What if… what if she… doesn't make it?" Makoto whimpered on Haru's shoulder.

Haru stiffened.

"She'll be fine," Haru said after a moment. He felt unsure himself of Kanade's outcome but wanted Makoto to calm down.

"You don't know that, Haru…" Makoto whimpered. "She… they had to revive her twice in the ambulance over here already."

Haru gulped, feeling out of his comfort zone. He just gently rubbed circles onto Makoto's hand with his thumb, trying to get Makoto to calm down from his hysteria. Makoto is great at comforting someone else, but when it's Makoto that needs comforting…

"Makoto," Haru said, his voice more firm. He squeezed Makoto's hand and continued to rub circles with his thumb. "We don't know anything yet. You need to calm down."

"B-But, H-Haru…" Makoto was starting to hyperventilate, his breaths becoming raspy and tight. "I… I don't know… I don't know what I'd do without her." Makoto gasped in another breath as more tears fell from his chin. "I'm so scared…"

Haru's eyes widened and he sharply turned his head to look at Makoto. Makoto was still shivering on his shoulder, his body starting to curl in on himself. Haru let go of Makoto's hand and cupped his face, forcing him to lift his head and stare into Haru's eyes.

"Makoto, breathe," Haru said.

"B-But—"

" _Makoto_ ," Haru said, his voice scolding now.

Makoto winced, his teary eyes staring back up at Haru. He wanted to protest, but the harsh look in Haru's gaze made him reconsider. He nodded and then he started to take deep breaths. He grabbed Makoto's hand again and kept his other hand on Makoto's cheek.

"Breathe," Haru repeated, rubbing his thumb over Makoto's hand again. "Breathe."

Haru ended up breathing right along with Makoto, unaware how panicked his own breaths had become.

* * *

They sat there for what felt like ages, Makoto's sobs finally quieting as his energy flattened. His head rested heavily on Haru's shoulder, and Haru glanced down to peer at Makoto's face. His eyes were puffy and tired, but open. He was breathing evenly now but he still gripped Haru's hand. They remained sitting together quietly, listening to the sounds of busy footsteps echoing in the halls.

Then, a pair of feet stopped in front of them, and they both looked up. Makoto's eyes widened when he was met with Fukui's pained gaze.

"F-Fukui-san…" Makoto whispered. He let go of Haru's hand and pushed himself to his feet. "I… she…" he whimpered, unsure of how to explain.

Suddenly, Fukui reached out and grabbed a handful of Makoto's shirt, his face twisting in anger.

"A-Ah, F-Fukui-san!" Makoto yelped.

Haru scrambled to his feet, ready to defend his best friend. Just as he was about to pull Fukui's hand off of Makoto, tears started to fall down the old man's face. Both Haru and Makoto froze.

"Fukui-san…"

Fukui then pulled Makoto towards him and embraced him in a tight hug. Makoto's eyes widened, feeling Fukui shaking against him.

 _No, this isn't right…_ Makoto thought. _You're supposed to tell me that she's solid. You're supposed to tell me that she will be all right. You're supposed to tell me that this is normal, that this isn't bad, that… that…_

 _That she'll make it._

Makoto suddenly felt a wave of despair wash over him once again, and he raised his arms to hug Fukui back, his hands clutching his shirt. He buried his face into Fukui's shoulder and started to sob once again.

Haru stared at them and winced. Hearing Makoto's sad cries broke his heart and made his stomach churn.

 _He's shaking so badly…_ Haru thought. He reached out to touch Makoto's back but stopped when he heard his phone go off in his pocket. He retracted his hand and dug into his pocket. Haru's breath hitched in his chest.

 _Rin?_

Haru glanced up at Makoto and saw that he was still holding onto Fukui. He quickly walked away and put the phone up to his hear.

"H-Hello?"

"Haru! Thank God, I finally reached someone. How's Kanade? Is she okay?"

Haru paused, biting his lip. "She's… in surgery."

"Surgery?!" Rin shouted, and Haru pulled the phone away from his ear. "What the hell happened?"

"After her race she… she collapsed," Haru explained.

"Shit…" Rin whispered. "Is she going to be okay?"

Haru's brows lowered. "I'm… not sure."

" _Damn it!"_ Rin yelled.

" _Rin_ ," Haru said, trying to calm him down.

"What about Makoto?" Rin asked. Haru jolted, startled by Rin's question.

"What do you mean?" Haru asked.

"Is he okay?" Rin asked.

Haru glanced back at Makoto and Fukui, who were still holding each other in a shaky embrace. He caught a glimpse of Makoto's face and saw that his cheeks were glistening with fresh tears. His entire frame was shuddering as he gripped onto Fukui's shirt and sobbed into his shoulder.

"He's…" Haru's voice trailed off as he stared at them for a moment longer. When he heard the tiniest little wail escape Makoto's lips, he sharply turned his head to look away. "He's crying and… shaking all over…"

Rin stayed silent, but Haru could hear choked grunts coming through the line. He heard a distinct sniffle.

"Damn it…" Rin cried. He choked back a sob, and Haru winced and curled his free hand into a tight fist. "What… what am I supposed to do?! I can't just _sit_ here!"

"I don't know, Rin."

Rin sighed heavily. "Can you just… keep me updated?" Rin asked, a little calmer now.

"Yeah," Haru said.

"And Haru…"

Haru paused and lowered his brows. "Mmn?" he hummed. This time, Rin paused and took in a shaky breath.

"Just… keep an eye on Makoto, okay?" Rin said. "He… I don't want him to bottle up everything."

Haru's eyes widened a little in surprise. He opened his mouth to ask for clarity but then he heard someone whispering to Rin over the line.

"I need to go, but… please," Rin begged. "Keep me posted?"

Haru swallowed.

"I will."

"Okay then. Bye."

"Bye."

Haru turned around to look back at Makoto and Fukui, who had both separated from their tight embrace. Fukui's hands were gripping Makoto's trembling shoulders and he was wiping the tears from Makoto's face.

Haru winced.

Makoto looked like he was in pain.

Haru pocketed his phone and approached them, his eyes focusing on Makoto's dejected form.

"Makoto," Haru called.

Makoto turned to look at Haru, a few tears still spilling over.

"H-Haru…" His voice shook worse than before. "I… I—"

"Excuse me."

The three of them turned and saw a nurse standing in front of them with a chart in her hands. Fukui wiped his face put on a serious look.

"You came in with a young lady, let's see… Shizumi-san?" she asked, looking at the chart.

"Y-Yes," Makoto squeaked. Haru lifted up a hand and placed it on Makoto's shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze.

"How is she?" Fukui asked. Makoto and Haru turned to look at him. His hands were curled into fists at his sides. "How is my daughter?"

Both Makoto and Haru jumped at that.

He called her his _daughter_.

"Well, she was wheeled into emergency open heart surgery," the nurse explained.

Makoto jolted, and Haru could feel his body start to tremor underneath his palm again. He knew Kanade was in surgery but he did not realize what kind. Fukui grimaced and his fists tightened.

Fukui grimaced and his fists tightened.

"How long will it take?" Fukui asked.

The nurse pulled her lips to the side and shook her head with a shrug.

"It's unclear," she answered. "Open heart surgeries usually take anywhere from 4-10 hours."

Fukui glanced down at his watch on his wrist. The time currently read 6:31 pm.

"We will keep you updated with any new information. Please, rest in the waiting room. There is also food available in the cafeteria."

Makoto felt his stomach churn.

He was in no mood to eat anything.

"Thank you," Fukui squeaked out.

The nurse bowed and then hurried off to the main desk. Fukui turned to the boys and put his hands on his hips, his composure regained.

"Well, we should head to the waiting room," Fukui said. He turned and started to head down the hall.

"W-What are we supposed to do?" Makoto asked, taking a few steps after him and getting out of Haru's grasp. Fukui stopped in his tracks.

"All we can do is wait," Fukui said. He turned his head to look at Makoto. "And rest. This could be a long night."

With those words, Fukui headed down the hall and disappeared towards the waiting room. Makoto and Haru stood frozen in place, both silent and still.

Makoto gulped, feeling Haru's worried gaze behind him. He did not want to worry Haru. Haru had other things he needed to focus on at the moment. He took a deep breath.

A heavy sigh from Makoto broke the silence and he turned around to face Haru.

"W-Well, I guess we just… have to wait, then," Makoto said, trying to smile.

Haru winced again. He _hated_ that smile on Makoto.

"Makoto…" Haru whispered, staring at Makoto's trembling form. He bit his lip before sucking in a breath. "I—"

" **Haru!** "

Haru spun around at his name and saw Torii frantically running towards him. Haru's eyes widened.

"Masato?" Haru said. Torii hunched over on his knees when he finally reached them and panted, trying to catch his breath.

"Haru, you… you need to come back," Torii said.

"What?" he asked.

"I tried to... buy you time, but... Coach, he… wants everyone back," Torii said. He straightened, putting his hands on his hips. "Now."

Haru bit his lip again and turned his head to look over his shoulder at Makoto. Makoto tilted his head at him and gave a smile.

"You should go, Haru," Makoto said, his voice still quivering.

Haru flinched and his jaw dropped.

"Makoto, I don't want to leave you alone," Haru said bluntly, turning around fully to face him.

"Haru, I'll be fine," Makoto said. He widened his smile and clutched Kanade's black hoodie to his chest. "You should go and then go home to rest. All you'll be doing here is waiting anyway!" he said with a chuckle.

Haru stared at him in disbelief.

 _"Just... keep an eye on Makoto, okay? He... I don't want him to bottle up everything."_

Rin's words echoed in Haru's mind.

"Makoto…"

"Really, Haru," Makoto said. "Go."

Haru's eyes squinted as he stared back into Makoto's green ones. He was unreadable. Pain, worry, kindness, and love all swirled around in those green orbs, and Haru was unsure which emotion to believe.

"But…"

"Haru," Makoto said, cutting off Haru. Haru glanced up at Makoto and his heart skipped a beat. Makoto had a kind smile on his face. It was his usual smile, gentle and warm.

It was so convincing.

But Haru knew it wasn't genuine.

"Haru, I'm fine. Now go and rest. I'll call you if anything changes."

Haru stared into his eyes one last time.

Would he really be okay here?

"I promise, Haru, it's fine," Makoto said again.

Haru hesitated for a moment and then quietly sighed.

"I'll come back in the morning," Haru promised.

"Mmn, okay, Haru," Makoto said.

Haru gulped and then he felt his body move on its own. He gave a quick nod to Makoto and then turned to follow Torii out of the hospital.

Makoto watched them leave, trying to keep his smile on his face until they were out of sight. Once they were gone, he lifted up a hand to grasp at his shirt near his chest. Tremors overtook him once again, and tears started to fall down his cheeks.

* * *

"Why does the coach need us?" Haru asked as he followed Torii quickly back to the aquatics center.

"Coach wanted to tell everyone the results," Torii answered. "And if you weren't there with the team, he said he'd kick you off if you'd made it."

Haru almost stumbled to a stop, but Torii grabbed his wrist to keep going.

"What? I'm not going back for that!" Haru said, trying to get out of Torii's grip.

"Please, Haru," Torii said. "Tachibana would want you there. You saw him, didn't you? Do it for his sake."

Haru lowered his brows, knowing Torii was right. He bowed his head to glare at the sidewalk and submitted, pulling out of Torii's grasp and hurrying by his side.

They made it to the aquatics center where they rushed to meet the rest of the team. They were all waiting in a large conference room, his coach standing impatiently at the front.

"Ah, Nanase, how nice of you to join us," his coach grumbled.

Haru sighed and looked away, glaring at the door. Torii elbowed him to get him to wipe the scowl off of his face.

It didn't work.

"All right. We're going to read off the results now," his coach said. "The following were selected to join the national team."

He began to read off some names, and Haru heard cheering from his teammates and clapping.

"Torii Masato, Nanase Haruka…"

Torii flinched at hearing his own name and then he turned to look at Haru. Haru's eyes stayed fixed on the door, uninterested in anything to do with this at all. Torii's brows upturned sadly and he faced the front again.

"Okay, so that's the list. Any questions?" his coach asked.

"Oh, what about the girl's team?" one teammate asked.

Haru jumped and turned his head to look at his coach. The coach flipped through some papers in his hand and he started to list the names of the girl's team.

Haru waited.

And waited.

And waited.

"…and Watabe Kyoko. That's it. Any questions?"

Haru's heart skipped a beat.

He did not hear Kanade's name.

Where was Kanade's name?

She broke a record.

She deserved to be on that list.

Where was her name?

"What about Shizumi Kanade?" Haru blurted before he could think.

His coach looked up from the paper to peer at Haru and then back down at the list. He read over it again and then shook his head.

"There's no one by that name on this list," he answered.

Haru's eyes widened and he felt his heart plummet.

She's… not on the list?

* * *

Hi, guys!

Sorry I'm late. Life happens, you know?

Please let me know how I'm doing! What would you like to see happen next?

maisenpai34 - Welcome! Nice to see you in the comments, and thank you for following!

~LuckE1


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

* * *

 _Find me here..._

 _And speak to me._

 _Where…_

 _Where am I?_

The room was white, the void seeming to go on forever.

Her footsteps echoed with each step she took.

She glanced up and around.

"Hello?" Kanade called, her voice echoing. "Is anyone there?"

There was no response.

"Please! I'm… I'm lost!" Kanade called again. "I don't know where this is!"

Once again there was no response.

Kanade huffed out a sigh and scratched her head, looking around the white room.

"Well, this is just great!" Kanade huffed, kicking her leg at nothing. She folded her arms across her chest. "I have to get out of here! I have a race to win."

"Still focusing on swimming, I see."

Kanade whirled around and her eyes widened.

"C… Coach Hamada?"

Hamada stood a few feet away, dressed in a tracksuit. He wore his million-dollar smile and he had his hands on his hips.

"Good to see you, Kanade-chan!" Hamada greeted.

Kanade smiled and ran towards him. She collided into his chest and he enveloped her in a tight hug.

"What are you doing here? Or, rather… where is _here_?" Kanade asked after they separated.

Hamada, still with a smile on his face, tilted his head.

"What, you don't remember?" he asked.

Kanade's smile fell and her brows furrowed in confusion.

"Remember what?" Kanade asked.

Hamada tilted his head down at her and smiled.

"Don't you remember how you got here?" Hamada asked gently.

Kanade's brows creased and she looked around the white room. There were no doors or exits. It was devoid of anything. She glanced back up at Hamada and shook her head.

"I… I know I had to get to a race, but… I don't remember anything else, really," Kanade said softly.

Hamada lifted a hand and rubbed his chin, looking up at the white sky. After a moment he hummed.

"What about a certain someone who is special to you?" Hamada asked.

Kanade cocked her head. "Someone special?" she repeated.

"Yeah. Someone you love."

Kanade looked down at the ground.

 _Someone I love? Who is he talking about?_

"Sorry, I don't," Kanade apologized, feeling defeated.

She could hear Hamada's cheerful laughter above her and she glanced up at him.

"Now, now, what is it you're always telling people? 'Don't apologize' right?"

Hamada tilted his head and smiled, and Kanade felt her heart jump.

For a moment, Hamada looked like someone else.

He had light brown hair with beautiful green eyes.

He was tall with broad shoulders and had a smile that could make anyone fall in love.

 _Who is that? Do I know him? He seems so familiar._

 _He… feels like home._

"Kanade-chan?"

Kanade snapped out of her gaze and blinked, looking back at Hamada. He had returned to his normal self.

"Kanade-chan, let's go for a walk, yeah?" Hamada suggested, turning to walk deeper into the void.

Kanade blinked for a moment and then ran after him.

 _'Don't apologize.'_

 _Why does that sound so… familiar?_

* * *

 _I want to feel you._

 _I need to hear you._

An aggressive buzzing woke Haru out of his light sleep.

Haru rolled over in his bed and looked at his alarm clock on his nightstand. The clock read 3:37 am. He groaned internally as he reached for his phone. He slid it open and his eyes squinted at the light.

 _1 New Message_

 _Makoto_

Haru felt his chest run cold and he frantically opened the text, his weariness fleeing from his body.

 _From: Makoto_

 _She's still in surgery. They were saying something about the surgery being difficult._

Haru's mouth twisted. What did _that_ mean?

 _To: Makoto_

 _Difficult?_

Haru only waited a moment before a new text came in and he quickly opened it as soon as he felt his phone buzz in his hand.

 _From: Makoto_

 _Oh, sorry. Did I wake you? Sorry._

 _Anyway, the nurse didn't really explain, but they said the surgery is just taking longer than usual, I guess._

Haru felt his brow twitch. Makoto apologized twice, which is not unusual for him, but he hated that Makoto was still awake at this hour in a hospital. Alone.

 _To: Makoto_

 _Do I need to come?_

Haru rested the phone on his chest and stared up at the ceiling, the light from the phone making obscure shadows. What were the last words he and Kanade spoke to each other?

 _"You can do it, Nanase-kun!"_

Haru closed his eyes and sighed. She was too damn nice for her own good. Haru brought up his arm to rest it over his eyes and tried to calm his mind. It was running at a mile a minute, frustratingly so. He just could not believe the circumstances.

 _"Wait!" Haru called out to his coach._

 _His teammates all froze, surprised by Haru's sudden outburst. Some of his teammates had not even heard him speak before._

 _"What is it, Nanase?" his coach asked._

 _Haru hesitated for a moment._

 _"Why… why isn't Shizumi on the list?" Haru asked._

 _"Haru…" Torii whispered next to him._

 _"She got the best time of the day, didn't she? She broke a record!" Haru said, his frustration starting to get the best of him. His teammates just stared at him with perplexed expressions. "So why? Why isn't she on the team?"_

 _"Haru, stop," Torii said, placing a hand on Haru's shoulder to get him to calm down._

 _"Not until I get some answers," Haru snapped. Torii blinked at him and then retracted his hand. He also turned to his coach and awaited his response._

 _"Ah, well… I'm unsure," his coach answered. "That's a question for her coach. I've known him for many years and I'm sure he made the correct decision."_

 _Something stuttered in Haru's chest as his coach spoke._

 _"Wait a minute," Haru interrupted him. "Are you saying that… her coach was the reason why she's not on the list?"_

 _His coach looked at him with raised eyebrows and then he nodded._

 _"Yes."_

Haru's phone buzzed again, tearing him from his thoughts, and his eyes popped open. He removed his arm from his eyes and grabbed his phone.

 _From: Makoto_

 _No, it's fine._

Haru felt his brow twitch again. He was doing it again. Bottling up everything. He quickly texted Makoto back asking if he was sure. Why was Makoto still awake anyway? Shouldn't he be sleeping on a bench or something? Or, rather… shouldn't he go home to rest?

 _From: Makoto_

 _Yes, I'm sure. Thank you, Haru. Get some rest._

Haru sighed and slid his phone shut, placing it on his nightstand.

 _Dummy. You need rest, too._

* * *

 _You are the light_

 _That's leading me_

 _To the place_

 _Where I find peace._

Makoto slid his phone shut and sighed, leaning his head back against the wall behind him. He was still sitting on the floor where Haru had left him and he had not moved from that spot since. Fukui had disappeared down to the cafeteria or waiting room to eat and sleep, but Makoto could not find it in himself to move from that spot.

A nurse passed by and he lifted his eyes from the floor to watch her, hoping she would stop to give him an update. But, she walked on by, a coffee in her hand. Makoto sighed, his empty stomach feeling queasy.

What had they spoken about before she collapsed?

He couldn't remember.

Wait.

What was her favorite type of music? Her favorite band? What's her favorite color? What high school did she go to? What was her favorite subject in school? Her favorite teacher?

Makoto paled and buried his face in his hands.

Would Kanade really die without him knowing anything about her?

* * *

 _You are the strength_

 _That keeps me walking._

 _You are the hope_

 _That keeps me trusting._

"Coach Hamada, where are we going?" Kanade asked, following Hamada further into the white void.

"You'll see," he answered.

Kanade huffed out an impatient sigh.

"You're being so cryptic," she said, folding her arms across her chest.

Hamada laughed. "We're almost there. Ah, actually, there it is!"

Hamada pointed in front of him and Kanade moved to glance down the path in front of him. There was a large building with waves painted on the outside. Kanade looked at Hamada with glowing eyes.

"Isn't this…" Kanade started, and Hamada nodded. They both stepped inside the building, Kanade looking around in amazement.

They had stepped into an Olympic-sized aquatics center.

"This is incredible!" Kanade exclaimed, looking at the pool. "But… how… why…"

"Don't you want to go for a swim?" Hamada asked, handing her a swimming cap and goggles.

"But… I'm not dressed for it," Kanade said, her hand taking the goggles and swim cap anyway. Hamada smiled and pointed at her.

"You're already wearing your swimming gear," Hamada said.

Kanade blinked and then looked down, suddenly in her swimsuit. Kanade's eyes brightened and she quickly put on the swim cap, tucking in her black locks. She pushed the goggles down and over her eyes and then stepped up onto the block.

She stared out at her lane and took a deep breath. The pool was a little hazy, but the sunlight shimmered off of the water, creating a beautiful reflection of the white sky. She closed her eyes and breathed in through her nose. Chlorine filled her senses and her lips pulled into an excited smile.

Kanade bent down at the block, and after a moment, she dove in.

The water felt light around her body and she glided through the lane. She pressed forward, cutting her hands through the water and thrusting her slender body towards the far wall. She made the turn with ease and then hurried back to the start.

 _This is so easy!_ Kanade thought. _I can definitely win that race if my pace is like this! I'm so excited!_

Kanade reached the starting wall and slapped her hand against it. She reared back and panted, a huge smile on her face. She glanced up at Hamada who was smiling gently down at her.

"How was it?" Hamada asked.

Kanade grinned as she took off the goggles and swim cap.

"Oh, it was _great!_ " she exclaimed. "The water was so smooth and it felt like I was flying. It didn't hurt at all!"

Hamada paused, his peculiar smile still stuck on his face as he cocked his head.

"What didn't hurt?" he asked.

"My…" Kanade stopped, her smile falling from her face.

Wait. What didn't hurt? Why did she say that?

Kanade paused for a moment as thoughts raced through her head. She opened her mouth to speak and words flew out as if she was on autopilot.

"My…" Kanade lifted a hand to touch her chest. "My chest."

Sensing her distress, Hamada knelt down to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Why… why doesn't my chest hurt? It… normally hurts, doesn't it?" Kanade asked, staring down at her rippling reflection in the pool water below.

"Oh, so you remember?" Hamada asked.

Kanade's eyes widened.

 _"Hello, Kanade-chan! My name is Dr. Koji. Let's take a listen to that heart of yours."_

 _"I have a doctor's appointment today."_

 _"I… I have hypertrophic cardiomyopathy."_

 _"I didn't want to tell you because… because I was afraid… that you'd leave."_

Kanade gripped her swimsuit near her heart.

"I'm… sick," Kanade said.

"Mmn," Hamada hummed.

"My heart is weak."

"Mmn," he hummed again.

Kanade paused again, her head spinning with broken memories as she tried to piece them back together.

"I… I…"

 _"…I must keep going. I must keep fighting. I must keep pursuing."_

 _Kanade could see the wall in front of her, it was so close, so so close!_

 _"For the future that I want!"_

 _She could see it, the starting wall._

 _It was so close._

 _She reached out a hand._

 _"This is it!"_

 _Kanade slapped the wall._

"I… was swimming," Kanade mumbled. Hamada eyed her carefully, watching as her memories returned. "And…"

 _She reared her head back to stare at the boards._

 _Shizumi Kanada – 1_ _st_ _place_

Kanade raised a hand to clutch her head.

"And… then…"

 _Kanade smiled and pulled herself from the pool. She could hear her name being called from the stands. She lifted a hand to wave at…_

Who was it? Who was she waving to?

She couldn't remember...

 _Suddenly, a massive wave of pain surged through her chest and sent tingles down her arms. She froze, feeling her chest constrict. She couldn't breathe. All she felt was pain._

 _The last thing she remembered seeing was the concrete._

Kanade jolted and whipped her head up to look at Hamada.

"I… collapsed."

* * *

 _You are the light_

 _To my soul._

 _You are my purpose._

 _You're everything._

Haru woke up with a start around 6:30 in the morning and tore out of his bed to get dressed. He rushed out of his dorm and headed down to the train station to get to the hospital. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and slid it open, hoping for a text from Makoto.

But there was nothing.

There were no texts from Makoto since those depressing texts that he had received at 3 in the morning.

Haru sighed and shoved the phone back into his pocket. He hoped that Makoto had fallen asleep somewhere or maybe he was talking with Fukui. He hoped that he was at least resting.

Haru got to the hospital ten minutes later and rushed in through the front doors. He headed to the front desk and asked a nurse about Kanade's condition.

"Hmm, says here that she's still in surgery," the nurse answered while looking at a computer.

Haru stiffened and his hands curled into tight fists. How in the world was she still in surgery after a full night?

"Is there any other information about it?" Haru asked, his brows pushing together.

The nurse clicked around with her mouse a few times and her eyes narrowed as she read through the file. After a moment, she shook her head.

"Well, it says there was a complication, but no other information about it," she answered.

"A complication?" Haru asked.

"Yes, but as I said, there is no other information regarding the operation. I'm sorry."

Haru's eyes flitted to the ground and he nodded at her. He gave her his thanks and bowed to her and then turned on his heel to head for the waiting room.

He turned down several hallways and finally found a wide, open area that was filled with several people. Their faces were either distraught or exhausted, and Haru hoped that he would not see the same look on his best friend's face.

However, after looking around for a while, he could not find his green-eyed friend anywhere in the room. Haru's brows pushed together and he looked around again. But Makoto was nowhere in sight.

He was starting to feel anxious. Did Makoto run away? Where in the world had he gone?

Haru turned on his heel and headed down a hallway towards the spot where they were slumped on the floor last night. His fingers were curled into nervous fists and his nails dug into his palm.

 _Please don't be in that same spot, please don't be in that same spot…_

Haru's head was clouded by his worry for Makoto's unhealthy habits of not taking care of himself. He should have stayed last night. He should have come straight back after the meeting. He should have _been there._

He took a left down the same hallway and then froze.

There Makoto was; sitting down on the floor with his head leaning back against the wall. His shoulders were slumped but his eyes very much open as he stared at the ceiling.

He looked lost.

Haru felt his chest go cold and he took out his phone to look at the time. It was close to 7 in the morning. Had Makoto slept at all?

Haru stuffed his phone in his pocket and approached his best friend gingerly.

"Makoto?" he called.

Makoto jolted and turned his head towards Haru.

"Haru," Makoto said breathlessly. He gave a weak smile. "Good morning."

Haru stared at Makoto's disheveled form. He looked like he had hardly moved from last night. There were bags under his reddened eyes, and his messy hair was more tousled than usual. His clothes had more wrinkles in them and there were a few smudges along the sides of the pants.

"Makoto, did you sleep at all?" Haru asked, his brows coming together.

Makoto's smile vanished and he stared down into his lap. He shook his head pitifully, and Haru felt his heart clench inside his chest.

"Why not?" Haru asked, a little bite in his voice.

Makoto flinched but did not raise his head to look at Haru. Haru felt a little bit of guilt churn in his stomach as Makoto stayed silent. Makoto was obviously worried, that's why he had not slept. Haru sighed and scolded himself for being so harsh on him, especially in these circumstances. Haru's hands clenched by his sides and he thought for a moment.

Haru moved and sat down next to Makoto, Makoto eyeing him.

"Haru?"

"Sleep," Haru commanded. He patted his shoulder, encouraging Makoto to rest his head against him.

"Eh? Sleep? But, Haru, what if a nurse comes and—"

"I'll wake you," Haru said.

"But, you'll just be sitting here!" Makoto said, his face contorting with worry.

Haru just shrugged.

"Haru, I'm fine. Really," Makoto said, trying for another smile.

"Makoto, you haven't slept in 24 hours," Haru said. "You need to rest."

"But Haru—"

Suddenly, Haru moved his hand up to cup Makoto's cheek and neck, shutting him up completely. He forced Makoto's head down onto his shoulder and patted his head before removing his hand completely.

"I'll wake you if something comes up," Haru said. "Just sleep."

Makoto paused for a moment, his fingers fidgeting in his lap. Haru realized that Makoto was trying to figure out what exactly he wanted, and Haru knew of his wishy-washy demeanor. After a few more minutes of internal struggle, Makoto's wrists went limp in his lap.

"Promise you'll wake me up?" he asked, his voice small and defeated.

"I promise."

Makoto hesitated for another moment before his body relaxed against Haru's. Haru could feel Makoto letting his body relax, his full weight resting on his shoulder and side. Soon, Haru could hear soft breaths coming from Makoto, and his chest rose and fell in a gentle rhythm.

Haru smiled. Makoto always fell asleep in weird positions, so it was no surprise that he fell asleep so easily here.

Haru reached up and smoothed down some of Makoto's hair that had become unruly over the course of the long night and then listened to his soft snores.

* * *

 _You calm the storms_

 _And you give me rest._

 _You hold me in your hands._

 _You won't let me fall._

Kanade stared out at the pool in front of her, her stomach flipping nervously.

"I…" Kanade sighed, her eyes turning vacant as the memories started to flood back. "The race already happened… didn't it?"

Hamada's smile was sad.

"Yes."

Kanade's face scrunched up in pain.

"Oh," she responded. "Then… am I… dead?"

Hamada squeezed her shoulder, forcing her to look up at him.

"No," Hamada answered. "You're not dead. Not yet, anyway. But…"

Hamada released her shoulder and looked up towards the white sky. Kanade turned her head up to look at it as well.

"But if you want to live, you need to fight for it," Hamada explained.

"Fight for it?" Kanade repeated, looking back at Hamada.

Hamada glanced down at her, his smile gone and a more somber expression taking over.

"It's going to be up to you whether or not you want to go back," Hamada said.

Kanade furrowed her brows and then looked out at the water. It was glistening and beautiful. She remembered how painless it was to swim in it. How easy it was to swim without using that stupid oxygen mask or having to stop to slow her heart down.

"I didn't feel any pain here," Kanade said. She swirled her leg in the water and then kicked it, sending water droplets flying across the lane. "It would be easier to just stay here."

Hamada paused.

"Are you sure that's what you want?" Hamada asked, his voice sounding uncharacteristically strained.

Kanade twisted her torso around to look at him. He wore a saddened smile and his hands were thrust in his pockets.

"Coach?" she whispered.

"Isn't there… someone waiting for you?" Hamada asked.

Kanade blinked. "Someone waiting for me?"

Hamada nodded. "Someone you love."

Kanade's eyes widened at those words.

 _Someone I love?_

 _Who is he…_

Suddenly, a flash of flight blinded Kanade, and all she could see was a man's face. His green eyes were squinted and a gorgeous smile was on his face. His messy brown hair fell into his face as he tilted his head in a beautiful smile that made her chest clench.

 _Who is he?_

 _He seems so familiar._

 _I know him, I think._

 _I think…_

 _I think I'm in love with him._

 _What was his name?_

 _It… started with an M…_

 _M…_

" **Kanade**."

Kanade froze.

That voice… it sounded so familiar.

" **I…I like you.** "

" **I really… really like you.** "

Kanade opened her mouth.

"Makoto."

* * *

 _You steal my heart_

 _And you take my breath away._

 _Would you let me in?_

 _Take me deeper now..._

"Excuse me."

Haru glanced up at a nurse standing in front of them, a clipboard in her hands. Fukui stood next to her, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Haru blinked a few times and then carefully nudged Makoto awake. Makoto awoke slowly and he grunted a little as he leaned up from Haru's shoulder.

"Haru?" he said quietly.

"Someone's here," Haru answered.

Makoto blinked at him for a moment and then jolted awake, turning his head up to look at the nurse and Fukui standing next to her. He scrambled to his feet and Haru stood up with him.

"Fukui-san, what happened? Is she all right? Where is she?" Makoto rambled.

Fukui reached up and wiped his tired face.

"She's out of surgery. In the ICU," Fukui said. "They said they'll let us see her, but she's not awake."

"Is she… is she going to be okay?" Makoto asked, his fingers trembling.

Fukui huffed out a sigh.

"She has to last the day and then we'll know," Fukui said. "She has to wake up," he added.

Makoto tensed and bit his lip. He felt a hand touch his shoulder and he turned around to meet Haru's gaze.

"Let's go, Makoto," Haru said.

Makoto released a shuddering breath and then nodded. The three of them followed the nurse to an elevator and then up a few levels to the ICU. She led them inside a long room, each patient separated by curtains. There were machines running alongside the walls, faint beeps echoing in the room.

"She's the last bed on the right," the nurse said.

"Thank you," Fukui croaked out.

They walked silently to the last bed and walked around the curtain. Makoto thought his chest would combust.

 _And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?_

 _Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?_

Kanade was hooked up to so many wires that Makoto could not even begin to count them. She had an oxygen mask over her face, and the heart monitor was next to her bed. She was stock-still, unmoving— unusual to her energetic behavior.

Makoto lifted a hand to his chest and gripped his shirt. He was desperate to see her talk and move. He desperately wanted to see her beautiful blue eyes open and sparkle again.

He moved to her bedside and shakily rested his hand on hers. He flinched.

Her hand was ice cold.

"Fukui-san."

 _And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?_

The three of them turned to see Dr. Koji standing in the doorway.

"Dr. Koji," Fukui whispered. He walked briskly towards him. "How is she?" Fukui asked.

Dr. Koji paused and set down the chart in his hands. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.

"It's not good, Fukui-san," Dr. Koji admitted. "Her heart stopped several times during the operation last night. Her pacemaker had failed so we removed that and inserted an ICD to help her heart along instead. It was a long night."

Makoto tensed again beside Haru and Haru glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. Makoto's eyes were glazed over and his frame was trembling lightly.

"How long until she wakes up?" Fukui asked.

"I'm not sure," Dr. Koji answered. "It could be a while. Just sit tight, all right?"

"Just… sit here?"

Everyone turned to look at Makoto, who was staring back with wide eyes.

"There's… nothing we can do?" Makoto asked, continuing.

"Not right now," Dr. Koji said. "We just have to… wait it out and see."

"But what about—"

Suddenly, the heart monitor started to beep loudly. Everyone turned to look at the monitor, watching as her heart sped up to an alarmingly high rate until it flatlined.

 _Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?_

Makoto's chest went cold.

"No…" he whispered.

A nurse pushed him back and out of the way and he stumbled back. Haru grabbed his arms to keep him from falling.

"Wait! What's going on?!" Makoto shouted.

Dr. Koji pressed a button on the wall, alerting more nurses and doctors to come.

"Dr. Koji—" Fukui began.

"Get them out of here!" Dr. Koji yelled to a nurse.

Makoto felt panic swell in his chest and he pushed to get back into the room.

 _Cause you're all I want._

"No, please!" Makoto yelled.

Haru grabbed Makoto's arms and held him back in the hallway. He could see doctors rushing in and grabbing paddles. They rubbed the paddles together and then placed them on her chest.

"Clear!"

Electricity ran through Kanade's body and she jolted once before falling back onto the bed limp.

Makoto felt tears prick his eyes.

 _You're all I need._

"Kanade!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. "Please don't leave me, Kanade! I'll do anything!"

"KANADE!"

 _You're everything._

* * *

Suddenly, a red flash zipped through the room and Kanade felt her chest tighten. She doubled over in pain and clutched her chest. Hamada placed a hand on her shoulder to stabilize her.

"What… what's happening?" Kanade asked through gritted teeth.

"The fight for your life," Hamada answered.

Kanade lifted her head to peer up at his face. He was wearing a gentle smile again. She straightened, keeping a tentative hand to her chest.

"Am I… going to die?" Kanade asked. Hamada placed both hands on her shoulders and squeezed.

"Not if you fight," Hamada said.

Kanade's lips quivered. She turned back and looked at the pool behind her. The water shimmered underneath the white sun. She remembered how painless it was to swim in that water.

"If… if I don't fight, then… then I could stay here?" Kanade asked, her eyes locked onto the pool.

Hamada frowned at that and his brows creased.

"Kanade-chan…" he whispered.

"I mean… I'm in the hospital, right? If I go back, then I'll be in pain. I'll have to rest, I'll have to have surgery after surgery—"

"If you give up now, you lose _everything_!" Hamada shouted, making Kanade snap her mouth shut and glance at him with shocked eyes. "Think clearly about this. You could still have a chance to swim if you're alive. _Kanade-chan_!"

Kanade's eyes widened at Hamada as he shook her shoulders. Hamada looked desperate and pained, his eyes squinting and his face scrunched up.

"Who is it you want to see most?" Hamada asked.

Kanade froze, staring at him.

 _"You, uh… you look really nice today."_

 _"Don't worry about me. I enjoy swimming with you."_

 _"W-Wait. It's dark. My shift ends in thirty minutes, let me walk you home."_

 _"C-Call me Makoto."_

 _"I… I like you."_

 _"I really… really like you."_

" **Kanade!** "

Kanade jolted, hearing that voice clearly in her head.

" **Please don't leave me, Kanade! I'll do anything!"**

 **"Kanade!"**

"Makoto…" Kanade whimpered, a tear falling out of her eye. "I want… I want to see Makoto."

Hamada smiled at her answer and then wiped her cheeks.

Suddenly, another red wave flashed and the white void shook, sloshing the water around in the pool. Kanade glanced up at the sky and saw that their peaceful world had started to crumble. Tears were flowing silently down Kanade's face as she stared up at it all. Her hands shook by her sides. She knew that being alive meant being in pain.

"What will happen when I wake up?" Kanade asked quietly. The pool had started to disappear. "Will it hurt?"

Hamada stood quietly beside her for a moment.

"It might," Hamada answered just as quietly.

Kanade sniffled as more tears started to pour down her cheeks. She gave a small smile.

"Okay," she said. She stared up at the white sky, the pool and facility now completely gone. "I'm coming, Makoto," she whispered. "Wait for me, Makoto!"

" **Wait for me!** "

* * *

 _You're all I want._

"Clear!"

Another jolt of electricity went through Kanade's body, but she fell limp again on the bed with no pulse.

"Kanade!" Makoto yelled.

Once he realized he could not get away, he fell apart in Haru's arms. He sank to his knees and clutched his head, buried his face in his hands. Haru knelt down next to him and put his hands on his back, unsure of what to do or how to help.

"Please, Kanade… please…" Makoto mumbled over and over again.

Haru's brows pushed together and he felt his heart pounding in his ears.

Was this really the end?

The last time he would ever see her is here? In the hospital?

…Dead?

Makoto gripped his hair and his frame shook violently. He felt another set of hands on his back and he already knew they belonged to Fukui's, but he did not turn around. He did not move, he _could_ not move. He did not want to look up and see Kanade's life leave her body.

 _This is not happening!_

"Kanade…" he whimpered through his trembling lips.

"Clear!"

Another jolt.

Makoto cringed.

 _You're all I need._

"Please, Kanade…" Makoto begged through his hands.

"Clear!"

"Please… please don't leave me," Makoto whispered.

"Clear!"

"I need you," Makoto whimpered. "Kanade… I need you… Kanade!"

 _You're everything._

" **We've got a pulse**!"

Makoto whipped his head up and opened his watering eyes. The screen against the wall was registering a regular heartbeat and the doctors were fluffing her pillows for her and moving the blankets back into their usual spots.

Dr. Koji came to the doorway, his forehead covered in a thin sheen of sweat.

"She's alive! Fukui-san, she's alive!" Dr. Koji said, kneeling down to put his hand on Fukui's shoulder. Fukui heaved a heavy sigh and then a few tears spilled from his eyes.

Makoto felt his own tears sliding down his cheeks. Relief washed over him like a warm bath, his heart finally slowing down to a normal rate. He grasped at his chest and stared at the floor underneath of him, watching as tears fell from his eyes and onto the white tile.

"Makoto."

Makoto felt a hand shaking his shoulder and he turned his head to look at Haru. Haru was staring wide-eyed into the ICU room.

Makoto followed his gaze and looked into the room. His heart skipped a beat.

Kanade's hand was moving.

"Dr. Koji!" a nurse called.

Dr. Koji, still kneeling down in front of Fukui, turned his head to look up at the nurse. Her eyes were also wide.

"She's moving," she said.

Makoto's eyes widened and he scrambled to his feet. He could hear Haru calling his name but he easily got out of his grasp. He rushed past the nurse and walked straight up to Kanade's beside. He grabbed her moving hand and squeezed it.

"Kanade, I'm right here," Makoto called. "Kanade…"

Kanade's eyes stirred and her brows pushed together painfully. She let out a pained groan, the noise making Makoto jump. He squeezed her hand tighter.

Then, her eyes fluttered.

And Makoto was met with a sea of blue.

 _You're everything._

* * *

Hey, guys!

I'm so so sorry this was so late. Life is... hard, isn't it?

I really took my time with this chapter. I wanted it to be a certain way and I was unsatisfied with it for a while. I hope you enjoyed it!

Until next time!

~LuckE1


	47. Chapter 47

So, guys... I think this story will finish at Chapter 50.

Almost there.

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 47

* * *

A field of green.

It reminded her of grassy hills on a summer day.

That's the first thing Kanade saw when her eyes opened. She saw a field of green. Then, she noticed that they were distorted and wet. She blinked a few times and realized she was staring into a pair of eyes.

Not just anyone's eyes.

 _His_ eyes.

"Ma…ko…to," Kanade rasped out through the oxygen mask.

She saw Makoto jump at hearing his name and he squeezed her hand tighter.

"I'm here," his voice quivered.

Makoto reached out his free hand and cupped her cheek. Kanade could feel his fingers trembling against her face and she wanted to grasp it but her limbs felt heavy.

"Ma… Mako…"

"Hey, hey, don't speak," Makoto said softly, a tear falling out of his eye. He leaned down over her and kissed her forehead gently. Kanade closed her eyes at the touch and took a deep breath before sighing softly through her nose.

"Where… where am—"

"Kanade."

Kanade turned her head to look up at Fukui, who had stepped beside her, and Makoto took his hand from her face. Kanade's eyes widened a bit at seeing his forlorn look on his face. Dried tear streaks were painted on his cheeks and fresh tears threatened to spill at any moment.

"F… Fukui-san?" Kanade stuttered, her voice barely able to speak above a whisper. "What's—"

Then, Fukui gently wrapped Kanade in his arms and buried his face in her shoulder. Kanade gasped lightly at his sudden hug.

"Fukui…san?"

"I'm so glad you're all right," Fukui said softly. He leaned back up and wiped his eyes clean. "Don't… ever… _ever_ scare me like that again!" Fukui said with a shaking smile.

Kanade paused and then smiled weakly back at him. She nodded and reached out to grab his hand.

"I won't," she said. She turned her head back to Makoto and furrowed her brows. "What happened?" she asked.

Makoto's eyes widened for a minute and then he looked at the ground sadly.

"You collapsed after the tryouts," Makoto answered. He carefully rubbed his thumb over her hand, minding the wires. "You… your heart stopped."

Kanade's eyes widened and she tried to push herself up but froze when excruciating pain radiated from her chest and spread to the rest of her body. She groaned in pain and melted back into the bed as the room spun. She closed her eyes to prevent nausea from crawling up her throat. Both Makoto and Dr. Koji put a hand on each of her shoulders.

"Easy," Dr. Koji said.

Kanade opened her eyes and saw a blurry Dr. Koji standing in front of her.

"Dr. Koji?" she whispered.

"Your pacemaker failed," Dr. Koji began. He grabbed a remote and adjusted the bed to incline a bit. Kanade winced a little as her body moved to sit up.

"My… pacemaker?" Kanade croaked out.

Dr. Koji nodded and set the remote down.

"We had to perform open-heart surgery last night," he said.

Kanade blinked at him and then tilted her head down to look at her chest. She strained to see the bandages that were hidden underneath her hospital gown, but she could feel the heaviness that sat upon her chest. She sighed and leaned her head back on the pillow with a soft _fwump_.

"Makoto here restarted your heart after your collapse," Fukui said, placing a hand on Makoto's shoulder.

Kanade sharply turned her head to look at him with wide eyes. Makoto had a small smile on his face, but it looked so broken and terrified. Were those bags under his eyes? Just how much stress had she caused?

"Makoto…" Kanade whispered. She squeezed his hand and her eyes squinted painfully. "I'm… s-sorry."

"Hey, what is it you're always telling me?" Makoto asked, his smile widening. He squeezed her hand back and tilted his head. "Don't apologize. Remember?"

Kanade paused but then huffed out a small laugh, the smile returning her to face. She nodded at him.

"If anything, Haru's the real hero here," Makoto said, turning to face his best friend. Kanade turned her gaze towards Haru, who was standing in the corner quietly. "He was the one who called for help as soon as you collapsed."

"He's also been making sure this idiot took care of himself," Fukui said, slapping Makoto on the back.

"Gah! F-Fukui-san…" Makoto whined.

Haru flitted his gaze at Makoto and then to Kanade's shocked eyes. She blinked a few times and then smiled weakly. She lifted up a hand to him and motioned for him to come closer.

Haru blinked and stood still for a moment before approaching her. He stood next to her and she lifted up a hand to cup his cheek. Haru jumped at the contact and he stiffened. He looked down at her face, seeing her eyes filling with tears. But, she wore a warm and fond smile on her face.

"Thank you," Kanade whispered, rubbing his cheek with her thumb. A tear fell out of her eye and her fingers started to tremble. "And… thank you for… looking after Ma… Makoto."

Haru's brows creased as he watched her start to fall apart in front of him. He resisted the urge to flee and he lifted his hand to cover hers. Kanade locked eyes with his and watched in amazement as a small smile appeared on his face.

"You're welcome."

* * *

After a full day of rest and observation, Kanade was moved to her own room. It was close to dinnertime at this point and everyone was exhausted. Makoto, after a day of no rest and no food, slumped in a chair in the corner of Kanade's room. He fought off sleep and was determined to stay awake and by her side.

"Makoto, go home," Kanade said from her bed.

She looked better than she had all day. She still had bags under her eyes but at least the oxygen mask had been removed. She was leaning back against the inclined bed, her eyelids getting heavy.

Haru was standing in the doorway, watching their conversation unfold.

Makoto jolted and straightened in the chair, laughing sheepishly.

"A-Ah, no, I'm fine!" Makoto said. "I'll stay here."

" _Makoto_ ," both Haru and Kanade said at once.

"Eh?!" Makoto flitted his gaze back and forth from Haru and Kanade. "You guys are teaming up against me?"

"I haven't seen you eat anything," Kanade said.

"And you're about to go on two days with only an hour of sleep," Haru mentioned.

When Kanade heard this, her eyes opened wide and stared accusingly at Makoto.

" _What?"_ she asked, her voice scolding.

"Haru!" Makoto whined.

"I'll go get you some food," Haru said.

Makoto blinked at him and then scrambled to his feet.

"No, no, Haru, you don't have to go to such trouble!" Makoto said.

Haru rolled his eyes and he slid open the door to the room.

"Don't worry about it," he said plainly, and he slid the door back behind him, leaving a gaping Makoto to watch his back through the glass door.

Haru walks down from the room with a small smile on his face, feeling accomplished for leaving Makoto speechless. He turned down a hallway towards the cafeteria and he heard familiar voices speaking in hushed tones.

"If she tries this again, it could be the end of her life, Fukui-san."

Haru froze where the two hallways met. He budded up against the wall and poked his head around the corner to see Dr. Koji and Fukui standing stiffly a few feet away. The air was tense.

"Are you sure?" Fukui asked, placing his hands on his hips. "She worked _so hard_ to get this far. She placed first yesterday, she made the national team!"

"This news hurts me as well, Fukui-san. I wanted to be able to cheer her on in the Olympics next year, but I'm afraid that if she even tries to swim again, her heart could fail."

Haru felt his body jerk.

"I don't understand. Are you saying she can't swim again?" Fukui asked, his voice failing him as he tried to choke out the words.

Dr. Koji rubbed his face to stall his answer. He heaved a heavy sigh and then nodded slowly.

"If she tries to do any kind of intense training, she could die."

Haru hid behind the wall and took a few ragged breaths. He could feel some sweat form on his back and his limbs quivered lightly.

 _If she swam again she could die?_

"Down the road…" Dr. Koji continued. Haru snapped his head back to look down the hallway at the two men. "…it's likely that she'll need a heart transplant."

"A transplant?" Fukui repeated breathlessly.

"Well, if she takes care of herself, then we might be able to delay that method. But if she continues down this path…" Dr. Koji's voice trailed off as he let go of the end of his sentence.

Fukui raked his hands through his hair and rubbed his face, Dr. Koji's words processing painfully through his mind. Haru saw a few tears spill from his eyes and he tore his gaze away from them. Haru turned on his heel to head down to the elevators on the opposite end of the hall, his ears still focusing on their voices.

"What's… what's our next move?" Fukui had asked.

There was a brief pause, and Haru winced at Dr. Koji's next words.

"We tell her."

* * *

Haru sulked back into the room with a crease in between his brows, and Makoto could immediately tell that something was wrong. Haru answered with a simple "it's nothing" and carried on to pick at his food that he had gotten from the cafeteria. Makoto's brows lowered at him in worry but he decided not to press it.

Despite her lethargy, Kanade was back to her normal self and was joking around amicably with Makoto. Makoto, of course, was back to his normal state of worrying and fretting over Kanade. He kept his usual smile on his face, however, and Kanade was bubbling over with joy to have him by her side.

Haru tried to smile but it came out as a wince, knowing what was to come.

Not knowing how to handle himself any longer, Haru stood to his feet.

"Are you going home, Haru?" Makoto asked.

"Yeah," he said plainly. He turned to face the door before his face could give away any more. He slid open the door. "Call me if you need anything."

"Oh! Nanase-kun!" Kanade called, making Haru stop in the doorway. He turned his head back to look at her with his deadpan expression. "Do you know the results of the tryouts?" she asked, her face hopeful.

Haru's breath hitched inside his chest and he turned his head down to look at the ground while his hand gripped the doorframe. He bit his lip and his other free hand curled into a fist.

"Yeah," he finally managed to say without looking at her.

"Did you make it?" she asked.

Haru snapped his head up to look at her, his eyes wide. She had a curious look on her face. Haru's hand slackened on the doorframe and it slid down a few inches before he stuttered out an answer.

"Y-Yeah."

Kanade's face brightened as a huge smile widened across her face and Makoto stood up from his seat, his jaw dropped and eyes wide. His face melted into a grin as he hurried over to Haru and placed his hands on his shoulders.

"This… this is… Haru, this is wonderful!" Makoto said, his voice elated. "So you're going to be in the Olympics?!"

Haru blinked up at him, and then he glanced down at the floor.

"Mmn," Haru hummed.

"Wow! I can't… this is…" Makoto stumbled over his words and he turned back to Kanade with a wide smile. He hurried back to her and gently wrapped her in his arms, her hands finding his back as she giggled into his shoulder.

Haru shifted uncomfortably on his feet as he watched them part.

"I'll be heading out now," he said quietly.

"Ah, Haru!" Makoto called, making Haru stop again. He turned around to see his best friend beaming at him with his usual head-tilt smile. "I knew you could do it, Haru-chan."

Haru's body jolted at the gentleness of his voice and he looked away from him. He walked through the door of the room.

"Drop the —chan," he said on his way out.

Makoto chuckled and yelled back at Haru shut the door, "Yeah, yeah!" He turned back to Kanade and grinned from ear-to-ear.

"I wonder if the girl's results are up," Kanade said. Makoto patted her shoulder.

"I'm sure you did fine. You broke a record," he answered.

"I did?!" Kanade asked frantically. "No way!"

"Yes, way!" Makoto replied. "It was truly incredible."

Kanade giggled lightly before she tried to fight back a yawn. Makoto smiled and brushed her hair back behind her ear.

"You should get some rest," Makoto said. He put a hand on her shoulder and eased her against the bed gently.

"Are you going back home?" Kanade asked, her brows furrowed a little.

"No, I'll stay here," Makoto said. He stood to his feet and pointed to the chair in the corner. "I can sleep there."

Kanade stared at the tiny chair in the corner and bit her lip. She pouted for a moment and then she scooted over in the bed.

"There's… there's room for you here," Kanade said, patting the freed space on her bed. Her cheeks were red.

Makoto hesitated and raised a hand to rub the back of his neck. A warm blush traveled up his neck to the tips of his ears.

"Are… isn't... won't that bother you?" Makoto asked as he tried to start three different sentences.

Kanade shook her head, and Makoto's blush deepened.

"Well… we'll need more pillows!" Makoto said with a nervous chuckle. "And another blanket. I'll go and get some."

"You can just ask a nurse, Makoto," Kanade said, her brows now lowered in annoyance.

"A-Ah, well, I don't want to bother them. I'll be right back!" Makoto said, rushing to the door.

Makoto waved at her and slid the door shut behind him, taking in a quick, shaky breath before heading down the hallway. He could still feel his face and ears burning. They were going to share a bed? Makoto could remember countless times he had shared a bed with Haru or his siblings, but _this_ …

This was something new.

And Makoto was scared out of his mind.

He hurried down the hall and towards the nurse's station, almost forgetting what he had left Kanade's room for to begin with. He turned sharply down a corner with his eyes glued to the ground and he bumped into someone with a white coat. He immediately started his apologies.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I—"

Makoto blinked.

"Oh, Fukui-san, Dr. Koji!" Makoto said breathlessly. "I was just about to get some more blankets for Kanade. Are you about to go home, Fukui-san?"

Fukui and Dr. Koji exchanged sorrowful looks before turning their gaze back to Makoto. Makoto felt a twinge of pain inside his chest and his smile became strained at he stared at the two melancholic men in front of him.

"What's… what's going on?" Makoto asked gently.

Fukui took a deep breath and heaved a sigh. He took a step forward to look at Makoto in the eye.

"Makoto," Fukui started. His tone was serious and Makoto's smile fell from his face. "Kanade can't swim anymore."

Makoto stared blankly at Fukui's face for a minute before the words sunk in. Then, his body jolted and he flinched back, his heart leaping inside of his chest.

"W-Wait. What do you mean?" Makoto asked.

"Her heart can't take any more strenuous exercise," Dr. Koji explained. Makoto turned his head to look at him. "If she were to swim intensely again, her heart would most likely give out."

Makoto's heart thundered in his chest, a look of disbelief on his face.

"We're on our way to discuss it with her now," Dr. Koji said, placing a hand on Fukui's shoulder. Fukui sighed at Dr. Koji's words and then nodded at Makoto. "Feel free to come along."

They passed by Makoto's started to walk down the hallway towards Kanade's room. He listened to their footsteps echoing on the white tiles before panic made his heart leap into his throat.

 _"You broke a record."_

 _"I did?! No way!"_

"W-Wait!" Makoto called, running down the hallway and stopping the two men in their tracks. "Can you… can you wait to tell her?" Makoto asked.

Fukui and Dr. Koji exchanged weary looks before turning their gazes back to Makoto.

"Makoto…" Fukui said gently under his breath.

"I know. I _know_ she has to know. And I know she needs to hear the news and learn how to adjust, but…" Makoto paused as his voice died on his tongue, choked back by a lump in his throat. He swallowed thickly and took a deep breath. "Please. _Please_ just give her a night to feel that she has hope. Tell her tomorrow? _Please_."

Makoto bowed to them and Fukui and Dr. Koji immediately tried to get him to raise his head by patting his shoulders and back. But Makoto would not budge until he heard an answer.

He heard a sigh escape from one of the men and then a quiet, "Fine."

Makoto straightened and looked into the eyes of Dr. Koji, his hand rubbing the back of his neck raw.

"We'll tell her tomorrow, then," Dr. Koji continued with another sigh. "Fukui-san, let's go over what she'll need for recovery."

"R-Right," Fukui said after a moment.

He followed Dr. Koji down the hall and away from Makoto, who stood stunned silent at jarred from the news. Makoto turned around, forgetting why he had gone down that hallway to begin with, and he started heading back to Kanade's room.

 _Kanade can never swim again? How… What…_

 _She'll be devastated._

Somehow, Makoto found himself back at Kanade's room as if he was on autopilot, his hand sliding the glass door open robotically and then taking a step inside.

"I'm _fine_ , Rin, really," he heard Kanade say from her bed. He snapped his head up and saw her talking on her cell phone, a small smile pulling on her lips. "No, it's… aw, geez, Rin, don't cry…"

Makoto let himself smile a little at that, even though it dwindled the next second. He slid the door shut behind him.

"Well, I'm fine, really. I'll let you know when I can go home. Okay?" Kanade said. She glanced up at Makoto and gave a toothy grin. "Okay. Bye, Rin!"

Kanade hung up and set the phone down on the table next to the bed and leaned back against the bed.

"Rin was pretty worried, but I think he'll be fine," Kanade began.

Makoto stared at her as she rambled happily about Rin's antics, an uncomfortable feeling rumbling in his stomach. His lips pulled into a frown, barely registering that Kanade was still speaking to him.

"Hey, I thought you were going to get more pillows," Kanade pointed out.

Makoto glanced up at her and saw that she had a suspicious brow raised and her smile was pulled to the side. He stared at her face for a moment, Dr. Koji's and Fukui's word echoing in his brain. Her smile was beautiful and Makoto wanted to do everything in his power to protect it and keep it on her face.

"Ah, w-well, I couldn't find any," Makoto said with a forced chuckle.

He quickly came to Kanade's bedside and climbed in next to her. He gently put his arms around her and avoided all of the wires. He rested his chin on top of her head to hide his watering eyes and he lifted up a hand to run his fingers through her hair. She stiffened at his bold actions.

"Makoto?" Kanade whispered. She reached up and gripped his bicep. "You okay?"

Makoto closed his eyes and fought back the tears.

"Ah, mmn. Just tired," Makoto lied, his voice pushing through the lump once again. "Get some rest. I'll be right here."

Kanade hesitated but then smiled warmly and shut her eyes, snuggling her head further into Makoto's chest. He was so warm and she soon melted into his touch.

"Goodnight, Makoto," she mumbled sleepily.

Makoto sniffled as a tear escaped his eye.

"Goodnight."

* * *

"Aw, they look so cute!"

"Shh! Nagisa-kun, you'll wake them!"

"Oh! Sorry."

"Hm? What are you two doing here?"

"Oh, it's Haru-chan!"

" _Nagisa-kun!_ "

"O-Oh, right. Sorry!"

Makoto slowly opened his eyes and blinked, pushing the bleariness out of his mind. Once the room came into focus, three pairs of eyes were staring back at him.

"Oh, Mako-chan!"

"Ah, good morning, Makoto-senpai."

Makoto blinked, unbelieving.

"Nagisa? Rei?!" Makoto sat up from the bed. "What are you two doing here?"

"Ah, well, we heard the news from Haruka-senpai," Rei started with a worried frown on his face. He held some flowers in his hands. "We wanted to make sure everything was all right."

Nagisa put his hand up to his mouth and giggled.

"But it looks like you've taken care of everything, Mako-chan!" Nagisa said, winking and pointing to the bed.

Makoto blinked at him and then glanced down to see Kanade's sleeping form lying next to him with her legs tangled up with his and her hands clutching Makoto's shirt.

His face flushed deep red and he gently scrambled to get off of the bed, jostling Kanade a little and causing her to stir. He took a few steps back and stood next to Haru, who blinked at him suspiciously.

"Makoto?" Kanade groaned. She carefully flipped onto her back and sat up, rubbing her eyes. Once her eyes cleared, they widened. "Oh."

"Ah, good morning, K-Kanade-san," Rei greeted timidly.

"Kana-chan! Good morning!" Nagisa echoed.

Kanade hesitated and then broke into a wide smile.

"Ah, Nagisa! Rei!" Kanade said, her face beaming. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We came for a visit!" Nagisa announced.

"All the way from Iwatobi?!" Kanade asked, her eyes wide with shock.

"Of course," Rei said, adjusting his glasses. "We were… very concerned."

"You scared us, Kana-chan!" Nagisa said with puffed cheeks. Kanade blinked at him. She smiled weakly and stared into her lap.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

"Well, _I guess_ it's fine as long as you win a medal in the Olympics!" Nagisa said, his eyes wide and sparkly.

Haru heard a sharp gasp from Makoto and he turned his head to look at him. His green eyes were wide and his lips were parted. His hands were curled into fists and his eyes shimmered a little.

"Oh, well I will definitely try! I haven't heard the results, yet," Kanade said.

"Well, I'm sure you did fine, Kanade-san," Rei said with a small smile. "Oh, and these are for you."

Rei placed the flowers on the table next to Kanade and she beamed.

"For me?" she asked.

"They're from the whole team!" Nagisa said. "It was Dai-chan's idea, but Gou-chan told us which ones to pick."

"How sweet of you guys!" Kanade said, smelling the flowers.

The three of them began to chat lightly while Haru and Makoto stood stiffly in the corner. Haru eyed him carefully.

Makoto was looking down at the ground with a dark expression on his face. His eyebrows were pulled together and his fists were tight by his sides. He seemed to be staring at nothing, his eyes vacant and bland.

Haru reached up and tugged on his sleeve, making Makoto blink back into reality and glance down at him.

"Haru?"

"You should get some fresh air," Haru said.

"But—"

"You really should, Makoto."

Makoto jolted and glanced up to see Kanade looking at him with a tired smile.

"Nanase-kun, take him somewhere," Kanade instructed. "He needs a good breakfast."

Makoto's lips pushed into a line. "But—"

"No 'buts,' Makoto," Kanade said, folding her arms across her chest.

"We'll keep her company until you return, Makoto-senpai," Rei said.

Makoto looked conflicted, and Haru internally rolled his eyes.

 _Wishy-washy._

"Rei…"

"Go, go, Mako-chan!" Nagisa said, pushing him towards the glass door. Makoto stumbled a few steps before catching himself on the doorway. He turned back to look at Kanade with a sheepish grin.

"Ah, see you later, Kanade," Makoto said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Kanade waved at him and watched him and Haru leave. Once the door shut behind them, Kanade leaned back against the bed and let out a soft sigh.

"A-A-Are you feeling okay, Kanade-san?" Rei asked, panic rising in his throat.

Kanade peered at him and smiled.

"Yeah, it's just…" she paused and looked at the door. "Makoto's been acting weird since last night."

"Last night?" Nagisa asked.

"Yeah," Kanade said. "I'm thinking that he's tired from all of this." She gestured to herself and the room.

"There's no way he's tired of _you_ , Kana-chan!" Nagisa said. "In fact, just before Christmas, he said he was looking for a ri—"

Rei slapped a hand over Nagisa's mouth.

"Uwahh, when do you get out of the hospital, Kanade-san?" Rei said.

Kanade stared at them and cocked a brow, her lips pulling into a smile.

"You guys are so weird," Kanade said with a chuckle. She brought up a hand to tap her chin. "I'm not sure, actually, Rei-kun. Dr. Koji hasn't talked with me in a little while…"

* * *

"So you heard them, too?" Makoto asked.

Haru nodded and took a sip of his hot tea. Makoto whined and rested his head in his hands. The café they were at was only a block away from the hospital and it was bustling with its city's regulars. They sat at a table close to the front, Haru watching people come in and out.

"What are we going to do? I told Dr. Koji to wait a few days to tell her, but I think he wants to tell her today," Makoto said.

He had not touched any of the food that Haru had ordered for him. Haru gulped down some tea and pushed the food closer to Makoto. They had been at the café for over an hour and it was getting close to lunchtime already. Haru was progressively getting more and more frustrated with his stubborn best friend.

"Breakfast is important," Haru said plainly.

Makoto's head popped up from his hands and Haru almost smirked at how childish the action looked. But Makoto just looked down at the food and scrunched up his nose.

"I can't even think about food right now. What about Kanade? She's—"

"—going to worry if you don't eat," Haru said bluntly.

Makoto sighed, feeling defeated. "I just don't want her to have to tell her coach to pull her from the team."

Haru's heart skipped a beat in his chest and his stomach flipped, his appetite also leaving him.

"She's going to be so upset," Makoto said sadly. He hung his head and looked down into the cup of tea on the table.

Haru hesitated.

 _"What about Shizumi Kanade?"_

 _"There's no one by that name on the list."_

 _"What? She broke a record!"_

 _"That's a question for her coach. I've known him for many years and I'm sure he made the correct decision."_

 _"Wait a minute. Are you saying that… her coach was the reason why she's not on the list?"_

"Makoto…" Haru called softly, making Makoto lift his head. Haru gulped when he saw Makoto's worried face. "I think… well… I think her coach…"

"Huh? Oh, it's you."

The two of them looked up and saw none other than Watabe Kyoko standing in front of them. Makoto's brows rose and he gaped at her.

"Oh, Watabe-san, hello," Makoto greeted sheepishly. She bowed a little.

"How is she?" Watabe asked when she had straightened, her brows pushed together.

"Oh, uh, she's… she'll be fine, I think," Makoto said sadly.

Watabe sighed a little.

"Good," she said under her breath. "Oh! Right."

Suddenly, Watabe dug into her purse and pulled out a light blue scarf— the blue scarf that Makoto had gotten Kanade for Christmas.

"This was left behind at the pool. No one went to grab it afterwards so I hung onto it until I could find the right time to give it to her. Here."

She handed Makoto the scarf and he smiled gently at her.

"Thank you," he said.

Watabe nodded with a small smile. "Tell her that I'll be seeing her around, especially with the national team training coming up."

Haru's eyes widened at her.

"You're saying that you both made the team?" Haru asked her.

Watabe's smile faltered a little. "Well, our coach he told me I was but didn't say anything about the rest of us. He actually called the hospital this morning to see if he could visit Shizumi to talk to her. I think he said he was going to visit around noon.I'm guessing he's going to go and talk to her about it."

Haru blanched and glanced down at his phone. It was almost noon. He sighed lightly.

Was her coach going to tell her she was on the team after all?

"Ah, well, thank you, Watabe-san," Makoto said, his voice still a little downtrodden. Watabe bowed lightly before heading up to the counter. "Well… maybe we can convince Dr. Koji to let her compete if she's careful," Makoto suggested, turning back to Haru.

Haru bit his lip and remained quiet.

 _It might take a lot more than that…_

* * *

After they had finished their tea, the two of them braved the cold weather to head back down to the hospital. They entered through the front door and headed towards the elevator where two familiar faces greeted them.

"Oh, they're back!" Nagisa said, waving to them.

"Leaving already?" Haru asked. He remembered them telling Makoto they would keep Makoto company until they returned.

"Nagisa-kun wanted to tour my future university," Rei said with a smile.

"Yeah! It'll be fun!" Nagisa said.

"How is Kanade?" Makoto asked.

"She's fine. Actually, some important guy just shooed us out of there," Nagisa said with a pout.

Haru's eyes widened and Makoto cocked his head.

"Important guy?" Makoto repeated.

"Ah, Kanade-san called him her 'Coach,' so I'm assuming it was her University swimming coach," Rei said as he adjusted his glasses.

"I see," Makoto said quietly. "Well, thank you for keeping her company."

"You're welcome, Mako-chan!" Nagisa said proudly. "See you guys later!"

"Ah, bye!"

After the two of them had left, Makoto and Haru headed up a few floors on the elevator and down some hallways towards Kanade's room.

"You think her coach is here to tell her she made the national team?" Makoto asked Haru, a little glimmer of hope in his eye.

Haru bit his lip and hesitated as they walked down the hallway. They were a few feet away from Kanade's room.

"I don't know…" Haru mumbled.

They got to Kanade's room and started to enter when they heard a deep voice come from inside the room.

"…there's actually another reason why I'm here, Shizumi," the voice started.

Haru and Makoto froze, listening to the conversation happening from the open door just a few feet away. Makoto recognized that voice. It was definitely Kanade's coach. It sounded strained and so unlike his usual tone that he barks at practices.

"Real… reason?" Makoto heard Kanade repeat.

"Yes," her coach said.

There was a pause, and Makoto hugged Kanade's scarf to his chest. Haru saw Makoto's shoulders tense in front of him.

"I pulled you from the national team," her coach started.

Haru saw Makoto's body jolt and his shoulders rose.

"W…What?" Kanade said breathlessly.

Her coach sighed.

"Listen, I heard about your condition," he said. "And then I went back and looked at your health forms that you all had to submit at the beginning of the year. You didn't list this problem on your forms."

Kanade remained quiet and Makoto felt like he had been kicked in the stomach.

She lied on her health forms?

Makoto sighed and shook his head. He understood how badly she had wanted to get here, but was lying about her health really the only way?

"But… I just didn't want my condition to hinder me from reaching my goals," Kanade said. "I know that the national team wouldn't accept me if I had this problem."

Her coach took a deep breath.

"You're right. They won't," he said plainly. "That's why you're off the national team."

Kanade sighed, and Makoto could picture her hanging her head and fidgeting with her hands in her lap. He desperately wanted to enter that room and hold her, but her coach's voice made him freeze where he stood.

"But, you also lied to me and you lied to the school. Don't you realize what kind of jeopardy you've put us in?" her coach asked, his voice low.

"J-Jeopardy?" Kanade stuttered.

"We could've gotten sued or fined. This is a huge liability," her coach continued. "So… because of this…"

Her coach paused and both Makoto and Haru held their breaths.

"You're no longer a part of the university swim team."


	48. Chapter 48

Oh my goodness! Your comments are all so lovely and I appreciate them all. They are truly what's keeping me going. Thank you so much!

2 more chapters to go...

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 48

* * *

"You're no longer a part of the university swim team."

Those words bounced off the hallways and into the ears of Makoto and Haru, who both stood just a few feet away. There was no response from Kanade – only eerie silence that sent shivers down Makoto's spine. He stood stiffly in the hall, feeling dread and torment in his gut. He was unsure of what to do, his mind blank with the coach's words still ringing in his ears.

Haru, on the other hand, was _boiling_.

"I'm truly sorry for this. I will see you later."

Makoto and Haru watched as the tall coach left Kanade's room and he jerked to a stop when he saw them.

"Ah, excuse me," he said, trying to pass them.

As the coach started to pass by, both Makoto and Haru stared at him, Haru glaring at him while Makoto gaped in shock. He passed them without a word and walked down the hallway.

Haru grit his teeth and he turned on his heel to go after him and give him a piece of his mind. He took one step towards the coach, but then he heard a stifled wail.

He froze and whirled around to look at Makoto, whose face was distraught.

"Kanade…" Makoto whispered.

Makoto rushed into Kanade's room and his heart sunk. She was hunched over with her hand over her mouth and her eyes squeezed shut. Tears started to flow down her cheeks and her shoulders were trembling from her muffled sobs.

"Kanade," Makoto said under his breath.

Makoto practically ran to her side and he climbed in the bed beside her. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders delicately and pulled her tiny body against his, gently rocking her. She buried her face in his chest and clutched his shirt.

"I've got you," Makoto said. He kissed her hair, her temple, anything that he could reach, and he brushed the tears from her cheeks. "I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere."

Kanade whimpered out something that resembled Makoto's name and his heart shattered into pieces. Minding her incision, he squeezed her closer and buried his face into her hair.

Meanwhile, Haru stood in the doorway, his hand touching the doorframe and his eyes downcast. He could not bear to watch them.

After a few minutes, he heard a shuffling of feet next to him and a shadow cast into the room.

"What is going on here?"

Haru lifted up his head to see Fukui-san and Dr. Koji standing in the doorway next to him.

Haru flitted his eyes back at Kanade and Makoto who were still tangled up in the bed and then back at Fukui. His eyes narrowed and his hands curled into fists.

He took a deep breath.

* * *

"Ah, yes, here is my visitor's pass."

Kanade's coach was at the front desk in the main lobby of the hospital. He handed back his pass to the receptionist and gave a slight bow. He turned on his heel to head out of the hospital, his foot about to exit through the sliding glass doors.

" **Hold it! Stop**!"

Her coach froze and he turned around at the familiar sound. He jolted and stood stiffly as a raging Fukui stomped towards him.

"F-Fukui-san?"

Fukui grabbed a fistful of the coach's jacket and dragged him down to eye level.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" he growled.

The coach's eyes widened and he jumped at his threatening voice.

"I-I don't under—"

"She just got in the hospital a few days ago. Why did you have to deliver this unfortunate news to her _now_? You know now that she has a weak heart," Fukui said.

He shoved the coach backwards a few steps and he stumbled. Once he regained his balance, the coach straightened and glanced down at the ground.

"It had to be done," the coach said softly. "The university was going to start calling her about her sports scholarship being revoked."

Fukui grimaced and looked away. He stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"I understand why you took her off of the team," Fukui said. "But… she had open-heart surgery just _two days ago._ Couldn't we have been a little more sensitive to this issue?" Fukui asked.

"She… what?"

Fukui looked at the coach with wide eyes, the anger starting to dissipate from his face and the adrenaline leaving his body.

"She had open-heart surgery," Fukui repeated.

The coach's jaw dropped and he put a hand to his head and stared at the floor.

"I had no idea," he whispered. "I… I thought she was… I thought she just—"

"Well, now you do," Fukui said gruffly. He stuffed his hands into his pockets again and turned his back to the coach. "I'll be reconsidering your offer as being a coach for the girls' team."

"Eh?! B-But, Fukui-san, the board specifically said that they wanted _you_ for this."

"Then get someone else," Fukui said, taking steps to storm off.

"Ah, F-Fukui-san! Wait!"

The coach ran in front of Fukui and bowed deeply to him.

"Please, Fukui-san," the coach said. "We need you there, Fukui-san."

"No."

"Please!"

The coach was starting to embarrass himself, and Fukui was starting to pity him.

"Listen, I don't think this is—"

"I can have Shizumi be one of the personal trainers!"

Fukui froze in place at the coach's desperate words. He turned around to stare suspiciously at the man in question. He was still bent over in a stiff bow, the top of his head completely visible to Fukui.

"Have her be a trainer?" Fukui asked.

"Yes! She can be one of the personal trainers! I have seen her interact with her teammates and she can quickly comprehend each of their idiosyncrasies. She understands little details about each stroke and how to improve them," the coach said, out of breath.

Fukui rubbed his chin. "I'm not so sure."

"Please! I was considering this anyways since she couldn't be a part of the team! I just needed to run it by the board," the coach said. His hands had curled into desperate fists. " _Please._ "

Fukui's brows pushed together and he placed his hands on his hips.

"I'll discuss this with her."

* * *

Makoto continued to hold Kanade close to his chest, his legs tangled with hers. His hand came up to sweep down her shoulders and her back and he gently stroked her hair with his other hand. She was breathing softly against Makoto's collarbone and her hands were still holding onto the front of Makoto's shirt, refusing to let go any time soon.

Haru sat in the chair in the corner, his forearms rested on his knees and his back hunched. He stared at the ground with creased eyebrows and listened to Kanade's soft sniffling. He lifted his head to stare at the two of them still on the bed.

Kanade's eyes were red and puffy and her body was curled up into a ball. She looked even smaller than she usually does. Makoto's face was scrunched up as if he were in pain. Haru's breath hitched in his chest at the sight. His face matched those who were sitting in the waiting room.

Suddenly, the glass door slid open and Fukui walked inside, shutting the door behind him. He heaved a heavy sigh and slumped down in the free chair next to Haru. Makoto and Kanade eyed him carefully but neither of them spoke.

The four of them sat in silence for a few minutes until the door slid open once again, revealing a disheveled Dr. Koji.

"Ah, Fukui-san, you're back," he said upon entering. Fukui pursed his lips and nodded solemnly. "Good. Well… should we get started, then?"

Fukui hesitated and then gave a curt nod, folding his arms across his chest.

Kanade quirked a brow and carefully pushed her exhausted body up. Makoto helped her to sit up, his hand automatically reached for her back and rubbed small circles near her shoulder blades. He eyed Dr. Koji carefully, his heart sinking into his stomach.

 _Please, not now. Don't tell her, please._

Makoto tried to communicate his thoughts to Dr. Koji but he simply sighed and gave a sympathetic smile.

"Kanade, we have to discuss a few things," Dr. Koji started.

Makoto's head hung and his hand stilled on Kanade's back. She glanced at him briefly before turning to look back at Dr. Koji, who was looking down at her chart.

"What's… what do we have to discuss?" Kanade asked softly. Her voice was quivering. She felt Makoto grip her shoulder.

"It's… about your condition," Dr. Koji said. He paused to wipe his face.

Haru and Fukui stayed stock still in the corner with their jaws wired shut. Fukui was staring off into space with a pained expression written on his face and Haru watched with attentive eyes.

"Your heart overworked itself and the pacemaker failed. You now have what is called an ICD, or more technically known as an 'Implantable Cardioverter Defibrillator.' It constantly monitors your heartbeats, and it sends energy to the heart muscle every time it senses distress."

"Why do I need that instead of a new pacemaker?" Kanade asked.

"Because your heart is now considered high-risk," Dr. Koji said. "If… if you continue to go through ay kind of intense training… Kanade, your heart could fail."

Kanade's body jolted and she stared at him wide-eyed. Makoto could feel her shoulders start to tremble under his palm.

"What… what do you mean by that?" Kanade asked quietly. Makoto bit his lip to prevent it from quivering.

"It means that you have to stop competitive swimming."

The room fell silent.

Kanade just blinked at him for a moment before tilting her head down to stare at her hands in her lap. They were shaking ever so slightly. The pain in her chest felt heavier than before.

She wanted to crawl in a hole.

Kanade pulled her legs close to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She rested her chin on her knees and stared vacantly at the wall behind Dr. Koji.

"So what you're saying is…" Kanade started, her voice eerily calm. "…I'm done swimming... regardless?"

Dr. Koji stared at her with a look of either concern or shock. His jaw dropped a little and his hand pulled the chart closer to his chest.

"It didn't matter that I was pulled from the team," Kanade continued after Dr. Koji did not speak. "I was going to have to quit anyway. Is that what you're telling me?"

There was another tense pause. The tone in the room changed as the air thickened. It was suddenly hard to breathe. Haru and Fukui gripped the arms of their seats as they saw Kanade's face twist into something unrecognizable. It was as if she was not all there anymore.

After no one replied to Kanade's question, she heaved a heavy sigh and buried her face into her knees.

"Thought so."

* * *

The next few days were brutal and agonizing. Kanade's recovery process had her up and moving on day one, and she almost collapsed from how exhausted she was. Makoto was with her every step of the way, holding onto her forearms as they walked around the hospital in a slow shuffle.

Kanade started to become easily flustered. When she tired out, she clung onto a wall and swatted Makoto's hands away when he tried to help. Her face flushed in embarrassment. It was only a few days ago that she was an _Olympic athlete_ , and now she's reduced to someone who needs her hand to be held wherever she went.

It was just… so. Damn. Frustrating.

After taking a lap around the hospital on the fourth day, Makoto and Kanade ended up back in her room. They had only one more day until she could go back home, and Makoto decided to be her full-time caretaker when he did not have classes.

Kanade chewed on her lip, frustrated that Makoto would be working himself to death over her. Dr. Koji had said that it would take six weeks to fully recover from the operation, and Kanade felt terrible for burdening Makoto for so long.

"I'll go get you another blanket," Makoto said, helping her into the bed. Kanade sighed as he pulled the blanket over her legs.

"Makoto, I'm fine. You don't need to worry so much," Kanade said.

Makoto rubbed her forearm gently and Kanade glanced down at his hand.

"You have goosebumps," he mentioned softly.

Kanade hesitated and then her lip quivered. She had never felt so helpless in her life. She looked down in her lap and nodded sadly. Makoto put his hand under her chin and lifted her head. He gave her a sincere smile and then leaned in to kiss her on the lips. It was chaste and stiff, but Kanade could still feel her lips tingling after they separated.

"We're going to get through this," Makoto said.

Kanade could only nod sadly, her body feeling numb.

"I'll be right back with a blanket," Makoto said, patting her knee.

He stood up and walked out of the room and slid the glass door shut behind him. He took a step away from the door and then froze when his chest felt tight. He covered his mouth with his fist and let out a quivering breath. His legs shook where they stood as fatigue started to set into his bones.

" _Do whatever you want!"_

Makoto jolted as the memory of Haru running away that night flitted into his mind. He remembered texting Rin because he was out of options. He could not help Haru anymore. He had never felt so useless in all his life.

Until now, that is.

Makoto sniffed and blinked back the tears that fought to fall from his eyes and proceeded to the nurse's station. He politely asked for an extra blanket and the nurse smiled sympathetically at him as she handed him one. He headed back to Kanade's room with the blanket tucked under his arm.

He turned down the hallway and noticed that Kanade's glass door was left open. He heard soft voices coming from inside and he cautiously inched forward and poked his head around the doorframe.

Watabe stood in front of the bed with her head in her hands and tears were flowing down her cheeks. Kanade had a weird smile on her face, a smile that was so obviously forced.

"I wish you luck on the national team," Kanade said softly.

Watabe sniffed and lowered her hands to reveal a red face. Her brows were knitted together and she was bearing her teeth.

"This isn't right!" Watabe wailed out and she hung her head. "You should be there! _You're_ the one who deserves this!"

Makoto saw Kanade's smile falter a little and she looked down in her lap for a moment.

"It's—"

"It's _not_ fine!" Watabe said. She rushed to Kanade's side and wrapped her arms around her and buried her face into Kanade's neck. "I'm _so_ sorry."

Makoto saw Kanade's eyes widen in shock and then she closed them, wrapping her arms around Watabe. Makoto pulled back from the doorframe and leaned his back against the wall beside the door. He heard Watabe spewing apology after apology and it made his chest hurt. He hugged the blanket to his stomach and buried his face into it.

"I'm sorry, too," Makoto whispered into the blanket. "I'm so… _so_ sorry."

* * *

"Do you want me to carry you?"

"I've got it."

Makoto gently held onto Kanade's arm as he led her up the steps to their apartment. She huffed with each step, her legs tingling and fatigued as if she were trying to run in water. Her other hand was white-knuckling the railing like a vice and she tried to ignore the way her heart ricocheted around her ribcage. Tiny beads of sweat formed on her forehead and neck and she just wished this would end.

Suddenly, her leg buckled underneath of her and she slipped, her knee hitting the top step.

"Kanade!" Makoto exclaimed. He crouched down to her and grabbed onto her forearm. His hand was immediately slapped away and he reeled, almost stumbling onto his rear end.

"I'm _fine_ ," Kanade hissed.

Makoto jolted at her voice and he stepped away from her to give her space. His hands curled into fists as he watched her struggle from the step to gain her balance. His hands wanted to shoot out to help her but he knew she would just push him away. She grunted as she climbed the last step.

Makoto sighed quietly and opened the door for her. He helped her to the couch and she slumped down with a sigh and panted for a few minutes. He knelt down in front of her and rubbed her thighs gently with his palms.

"You want some water?" Makoto asked quietly.

Kanade's eyes were directed at him but she seemed to be looking through him to the wall behind him. She nodded silently and Makoto nodded back. He stood to his feet and headed to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. He came back and handed her the glass. He knelt down in front of her and rubbed her knees.

"What do you need?" Makoto asked, gripping her knees.

Kanade shook her head slowly and gripped the glass in her hands.

"All right," Makoto said. "I have to teach a class a few minutes. But call me if you need anything. I will come if you need me."

He patted her knees after she nodded and pushed himself back up. He gave her a slow kiss on her cheek before hurrying to his room to grab his things. After grabbing his duffle bag, he walked to the front door and looked back at Kanade one last time.

"I'll see you in a bit," Makoto said.

Kanade did not respond and Makoto bit his lip. He gulped and then opened the door.

* * *

After a week of rest, Kanade was given the green light to go back to classes. Makoto walked her to each one and met up after each one, even if he had to leave his class early. She looked exhausted after every class and could barely trudge her way to the next one.

In the class they had together, Makoto made sure to sit her in the row closest to the exit. He was glad to have a class together with her so he could monitor her better and see how she was doing in a class setting.

But after the professor came in and started the class, Makoto glanced over and saw that Kanade had her head down on her desk. She had not taken out any notebooks or textbooks or any pencils. She was not even asleep. She just gazed blankly at the front wall with her head cradled in her crossed arms.

Makoto felt his heart leap into his throat.

Had she been like this in all of her classes?

The class ended and Makoto turned to Kanade with concerned eyes. He nudged her gently and helped her to get up.

"Kanade, were you taking any notes at all?" he asked.

Kanade shrugged, her eyes vacant.

And Makoto felt his heart leap inside his chest. This side of Kanade startled him and shook him to his core. Where had that passionate side of Kanade gone?

"Kanade, are… are you all right?" Makoto asked, placing his hands on her shoulders.

She didn't even look up at him. She just sighed and shrugged.

"Kanade…"

"Let's go," she said quietly. She started to walk slowly out of the classroom and Makoto hesitated only for a moment before following closely behind.

They walked out towards the courtyard, Kanade's legs on autopilot as they led her down the path to the university pool. Right before she took a step onto the path towards the pool building, she felt a hand gently grab her arm and she stopped. She jolted a little when she realized she was heading to the pool.

"Kanade, home is this way," she heard Makoto say behind her.

Kanade's lip twitched and she glanced down at the ground.

"Oh," she said softly.

She slowly turned around and got out of Makoto's grasp. She trudged down the path towards the main road with Makoto in tow, his worried eyes never leaving her.

 _Something's wrong…_ Makoto thought.

* * *

Another week passed and Kanade found herself walking back from the local grocery store. She did not want to go at all, nor did she want to leave her room, but Makoto had to teach swimming that night and he said that it would be good for her to get out of the apartment. He did promise that he would have his phone on him at all times, though.

Kanade was walking slowly down the path back to the apartment, her chin buried in her scarf. She was about to cross the street when she walked in front of her university. In the distance, she could see the aquatics center with its lights on. There were a few people bustling in an out.

Kanade looked around and then she turned to enter campus. She marched straight to the aquatics center and went to the pool, her bag still in her hand. She snuck into the pool area and her breath caught in her throat.

It was the women's university team, all training for the upcoming meet. Kanade gulped, watching as her former teammates joked around with each other and gave each other high-fives.

 _It hurts._

She saw her former teammates dive into the pool and swim fiercely down each of their lanes.

 _It… hurts._

Then, her eyes landed on her former coach. He was barking out his usual orders to some of the girls.

 _It… hurts…_

Kanade stood long enough to feel pain creep up her chest and into her throat. She turned on her heel and left, bumping into a few people and muttering a pathetic apology. She made it to the lobby of the aquatics center and took slow, deep breaths to calm her heart. She closed her eyes for a moment and later opened them once she felt calm again.

She took a step to leave the building when the bulletin board caught her eye.

There was a poster that talked about transit. It had a picture of the main bullet train located in Tokyo and all of its destinations. It also listed of things to do in each area. Kanade assumed it was for students who wanted to explore the local cities.

But then, an idea struck in her mind.

She glanced down and saw the prices of both one-way and two-way tickets.

* * *

"Thank you for meeting me, Fukui-san."

"It's no trouble. How is she doing?"

Makoto and Fukui agreed to meet up for coffee one evening. Another week had passed since Kanade's recovery, and while she seemed to be better physically, emotionally…

"She's… I'm not sure. It's like she's not all there," Makoto said, gripping the mug in front of him. "She's gotten so distant and… it's…"

"Scary," Fukui finished, taking a gulp of his coffee. "The way I see it, she could go down two different paths."

Makoto listened intensely as Fukui spoke, wanting to gather as much information about her as possible.

"One, she could be just going through a phase. It happens and is expected after what she's been through," Fukui said.

Makoto hummed in agreement, looking down at his untouched tea on the table.

"She's almost fully recovered, so it could just take some time," Fukui added.

Makoto pursed his lips and his fingers traced the top of his mug.

"What's… what's the other path?" Makoto asked.

Fukui finished off his coffee and sighed, staring down at his empty cup before letting it clink on the table.

"There's always that potential of her running away from her problems," Fukui reminded.

Makoto jumped in his seat, remembering Fukui telling him about Kanade's problems during high school.

"She used to run away a lot, right?" Makoto asked.

"Ah, yeah," Fukui said, wiping his tired eyes. "It happened quite often. And the way you're describing her…"

Fukui paused and pulled his brows together. His eyes glared at the table and he huffed out a sigh. Makoto's throat felt tight as he tried to push the words out.

"What is it, Fukui-san?" he asked, sweat starting to bead on his back.

Fukui sighed again and raked a hand through his gray hair.

"Just… keep an eye on her, okay?" Fukui said. "I… I wouldn't be surprised if she was just… gone."

Makoto blinked rapidly at his words and his back stiffened. His head spun with how fast his thoughts were running around in his brain.

Makoto abruptly stood up from the table and grabbed his duffle bag from the booth. He had to get home.

He had to see her.

"I should… I need…" Makoto's words fumbled as they fell from his lips.

"Go on, boy," Fukui said, waving him off.

Makoto bowed politely before rushing out of the café and down the street. His heart was racing but his mind kept telling him that she was probably just at home. She was probably in bed or on the couch, moping like she has been for the past month.

She was probably fine.

She was probably safe.

Makoto finally made it to the rec center and she hurried up the steps. He stopped in front of the door and took a deep breath to calm his breathing and try to look at normal as possible.

Makoto walked through the front door of the apartment and set his duffle bag by the door.

"I'm home!" he called out.

There was no response and Makoto glanced around. Kanade was nowhere to be seen.

"Kanade?" Makoto called.

There was no response from the apartment, and Makoto felt his chest go cold. Forgetting to take off his shoes, he rushed back to Kanade's room and tore open the door. It was empty.

Makoto checked all of the other rooms of the apartment and found them empty. He racked his brain and tried to think of where Kanade would be.

Makoto rushed to the front door and headed downstairs. He pulled out his phone and was about to take off running down the street when he saw a faint light coming from inside the rec center. He paused, sliding his phone shut, and stared at the light. It was coming from the pool.

Makoto entered through the doors of the rec center and went straight to the pool. He glanced through the window of the door and saw that only a few lights were on, making the pool seem dark and creepy. A chill shot down Makoto's spine but he pushed through the doors anyway.

After he shut the door behind him, he glanced out at the pool and he felt his shoulders relax while his heart throbbed.

Kanade was sitting on the edge of the pool in her swimsuit, swishing her legs around in the water. Her face looked so vacant and expressionless, almost as if she were a shell, but her eyes were trained on the water. She did not even move when Makoto approached her.

Once Makoto was next to her, he knelt down beside her. Now that he was closer, he could see the massive scar running down the center of her chest. He shivered at the sight but shook off his nerves.

"Kanade?" Makoto called, placing a hand on her shoulder.

She jolted out of her trance and looked up at him, her blue eyes dull and spiritless.

"Makoto," she said.

Makoto felt his heart leap. He had not heard her say his name in a while.

"What are you doing here?" Makoto asked softly.

Kanade blinked at him for a moment as if she were trying to process his sentence. Then, she turned to look at the pool.

"I want to swim," Kanade said softly.

Makoto's brows lowered and he frowned.

"I know," Makoto said. "But—"

"I can't," Kanade interrupted. Makoto stared at her and tried to gauge her mood, but when she did not say anything else, he hung his head. "Can… can you help me, then?"

Makoto whipped his head back up and looked at her.

"What do you mean?" Makoto asked.

"I… I just want to feel the water," Kanade said. She turned her head to look at him. "Please?" she asked.

Makoto blinked at her. Her brows were creased and she looked desperate, the first time she had shown any kind of emotion in the past month. He took a deep breath and then nodded, standing to his feet.

With a swift motion, Makoto took off his shirt and put it on the ground. He removed his shoes and socks but kept his dark pants on. He leaned down and scooped Kanade up in his arms. She wrapped her hands around his neck and leaned her head against his solid chest.

Makoto carefully walked over to the steps of the pool and walked into the cold water. He gradually submerged Kanade's body into the water as he walked deeper.

Kanade let go of his neck and put her hand into the pool. She spread out her hand and felt the water rush in between her fingers. She gasped at the feeling and immediately felt her eyes sting.

"Here," Makoto suddenly said. Kanade glanced up at him with shimmering eyes as he set her down in the water. "Lie back."

Kanade's breath hitched inside her chest and she stared up at him.

 _"I'm going to have you lay back."_

 _"What?"_

 _"Float on your back."_

Kanade remembered when she had helped Makoto overcome his fear of the ocean that night at training camp. He put his full trust in her, and she can put her trust in him now.

She nodded and lied back carefully, easily floating on her back. Makoto held a hand to her shoulder blades and took both of her hands in his free hand. Pulling her hands over her head, Makoto started to guide her down the lane of the pool, and Kanade could feel the water rushing past her hair and shoulders. She could feel the coldness touching her ears and lapping at her cheeks.

Her chest tightened.

Makoto was doing so much for her and has done so much for her in the past month. He had helped her to get this far and supported her throughout this entire thing. And now she was…

 _Useless._

Kanade felt tears prick her eyes and she squeezed them shut, not wanting to see the man she so did not deserve. He deserved so much more. He deserved to be with someone who was no so selfish and…

 _Broken._

Tears slid down her cheeks and she felt Makoto stop in the middle of the lane. He let go of her hands and scooped her back into his arms, holding her close to his bare chest.

"Makoto…" she whimpered, pressing her face into his neck. "I'm… I'm…"

Makoto squeezed her closer to his torso and winced at her breaking voice.

"I've got you," Makoto whispered into her ear. "I've got you."

Kanade sniffled and then her shoulders started to shake as sobs left her mouth. She gripped at his back and started to weep.

"You… you don't…"

 _You don't deserve this,_ Kanade wanted to say. _You deserve so much better._

"Hey," Makoto whispered. "We'll figure this out. You're going to be okay."

Kanade shook her head frantically and wailed against his shoulder.

 _It hurts…_ Kanade thought. _It hurts…_

"Kanade…" Makoto whispered. "Please don't cry."

Makoto held her for what seemed like an eternity, waist deep in cold water and his dark pants soaked. He kissed the top of her head and pushed her wet locks behind her ears.

After a few more minutes of painful hiccupping, Kanade had finally calmed down. Makoto had carried her back to the pool steps and he rested her down on the edge. She hunched over and stared at her feet that were dipped into the water, her head hanging so low that her hair hid her eyes.

Makoto had clambered out of the pool and grabbed his shirt from the floor next to his shoes. He walked back to her and draped his shirt over Kanade's shoulders, making her jump and lift her head to peer up at eyes were puffy and red, but Makoto was relieved that she was showing an emotion that was not vacancy or emptiness. He plopped down next to her and tried for a weak smile, even though his insides were wrenching uncomfortably.

Kanade clung onto Makoto's shirt and tilted her head back down to look at the water.

"Thank you," she mumbled.

"Mmn," Makoto hummed with a small smile.

They both listened to the soft sounds of water sloshing as Kanade's feet swirled in the water. She sniffed again, the sound bouncing off of the high ceilings, and she creased her brows painfully. She looked utterly and completely miserable.

Makoto winced and he opened his mouth to speak, but the words died on his tongue when he heard Kanade take in a sharp breath.

"I hate this," Kanade said sadly, her head drooping lower.

Makoto snapped his mouth shut, waiting for her to continue.

"Listen, Makoto, I…" Kanade paused to look at him, her eyes wide and desperate. Once she locked eyes with Makoto's concerned gaze, she looked away. "I've been thinking this over, Makoto. And… I'm not sure if I can stay here anymore."

Makoto's brows pushed together and he cocked his head. He did not like where this was going.

Not stay here? What did she mean?

"You mean… in Tokyo?" Makoto asked.

Kanade nodded. "I… I don't think I can handle this. I don't think I can handle staying here. I mean… I've lost my scholarship. There's no point in going to school anymore, I'm already so behind. I've…" Kanade choked back another sob and swallowed. "I've been such a burden to both you and Fukui-san. I haven't been fair."

"You're not a burden, Kanade," Makoto whispered, reaching over to grasp her shoulder firmly. "You've never been a burden."

"But I have!" Kanade shouted, turning to look at him. New tears had started to fill her eyes. "I can see it on your faces! I'm nothing but an emotional and financial burden to you."

"Kanade, this isn't something you could've controlled," Makoto said. "It's not your fault that any of this happened."

"It _is_ , and you know it," Kanade said with a low voice. She hung her head again and more tears fell down her cheeks. "There were so many times that Dr. Koji and Fukui-san told me to stop, but I was stubborn. And I've caused you so much pain in the process."

"Kanade…" Makoto whispered. "You're wrong," he said under his shaking breath.

"I bought a ticket."

Makoto froze.

She… bought a ticket?

 _"It's her 'go-to' for whenever she's in trouble."_

Fukui's words echoed in Makoto's mind.

Was that what this was? Was she running away from her problems?

"A ticket?" Makoto repeated apprehensively. Kanade nodded. "To… to where?"

Kanade held his shirt tighter around her shoulders and she hid from his gaze. She shrugged as her answer and then opened her mouth.

"I leave Friday," Kanade said firmly.

Makoto's jaw dropped.

The air suddenly tensed and Makoto felt that he could barely breathe.

"Will… will you come back?" Makoto asked hesitantly.

This time, Kanade did not answer. She did not even shrug. She sat still with her eyes gazing at the water.

And Makoto felt panic rise in his throat.

"Kanade, wait a minute," Makoto said, grabbing her shoulders and forcing her to look at him. "We can figure things out. You don't have to run away."

"I have to do this, Makoto," Kanade said.

"Kanade, think through this," Makoto said. "We can look at different programs at the school. We can find something else for you to do. We can—"

" _Please_ ," Kanade pleaded, making Makoto snap his mouth shut once again. She looked up at him with desperate, wet eyes. "I can't stay _here_. I can't stay here and keep hurting you and being a burden to you. I have to leave and… figure things out."

Makoto stared back at her with wide eyes.

 _"Do whatever you want!"_

Once again, the memory of Haru running away that night popped up into his mind. He remembered… again… that Rin, _Rin_ was the one to help Haru figure out his dream. Not Makoto.

Makoto could not help Haru when he needed it most.

Makoto gulped and his lips trembled.

 _Maybe… this is what she needs._

Makoto looked at her and he felt terrified, so, so terrified. His heart was threatened to burst from his chest from how painful it felt and his stomach churned dangerously.

But he put on a smile.

"Okay."


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49

* * *

"She's… _what?_ "

Makoto tried to put on a small smile, but it felt strained and forced. His vision was blurry from the lack of sleep from the past few days. He felt cold and all of his joints hurt, even though they were sitting in a nice, warm café.

"She's leaving Friday," Makoto responded to Haru with twiddling thumbs.

"What do you mean she's leaving?" Haru asked.

Makoto's smile was painfully frozen on his face and Haru hated it.

"She… can't take being here anymore after… after what the doctors told her," Makoto said.

Haru stared back at him with creased brows and parted lips. Makoto knew that Haru was probably confused. He could read it all over his face.

"I don't understand this," Haru said. "Where is she going?"

Makoto scratched his cheek with that pitiful smile on his face.

"I'm not so sure," Makoto answered. "But she explained later that she wants to discover herself. She… wanted to find a new dream."

Makoto saw Haru jolt next to him and he smiled, remembering how Haru had left the _country_ just to find his dream. Haru paused to take in Makoto's sentence and then he turned to Makoto.

"A… new dream?" Haru repeated.

"Mmn," Makoto hummed. "She was… really sure that she needed a new scenery in order to clear her head… she said she… really needed this."

 _"Kanade, are you sure you want this?" Makoto asked, helping her to sit on the couch._

 _"Yeah," she said quietly. She was dressed in her tracksuit with a towel hanging around her neck after the swim in the rec center pool. "I have no choice."_

 _"Yes, you do," Makoto said, kneeling in front of her. He stared up at her eyes. "You can stay here. We can find a new job for you at the rec center. We can research new degrees for you to study!"_

 _"No," Kanade said bluntly._

 _"No? Kanade, I can help you," Makoto said, putting his hands on her knees. "Let me help you. Let me help you find something that you want to—"_

 _"It's not that easy!" Kanade snapped. She looked away from Makoto and tried to stop her tears from flowing again. "I need to find a new dream for myself, Makoto."_

 _Makoto's fingers tensed on Kanade's knees. Her words confirmed his suspicions of her leaving in order to find herself, just has Haru did a year before. He had let Haru go then, so… why couldn't he let Kanade go, now?_

 _"I'm nothing," Kanade said quietly, jolting Makoto out of his thoughts. He stared at her a little in shock._

 _"What do you mean?" he asked._

 _Kanade paused and bit her lip._

 _"The water is what made me special, Makoto," Kanade said. "Without it, I'm just…" Her voice trailed off, letting Makoto fill in the pieces._

 _"That's not true," Makoto whispered, Kanade unable to hear._

 _"The water made me feel alive and free," Kanade continued. "And now that the water has been taken from me, I… I'm not…"_

 _'Special,' Makoto thought._

 _Makoto squeezed her knees again and looked up at her with pleading eyes._

 _"Kanade…" Makoto whispered. "Are… are you sure this is what you want?"_

 _Makoto felt that he had asked that question a million times in the last thirty minutes but he had to be sure. He had to be positive that this was what she wanted. He wanted her to be sure so that he could give her his full support._

 _"Yes," Kanade whispered. "I need to do this."_

 _Makoto's breath hitched in his chest and he hung his head to stare into his lap. His eyes stung and his lips quivered, the words barely able to jump off of his shaking tongue._

 _"All right."_

"But… what about you?" Haru asked, yanking Makoto from his daydream. Makoto blinked at him a few times, his mind trying to recover from its painful regurgitation of that memory. "Don't you want her to stay?"

Makoto hesitated and then forced out a small chuckle and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I… I didn't want to hold her back if it means she can find her dream," Makoto said. "I want her to be happy."

Haru hesitated, obviously unsatisfied with Makoto's answer. He pursed his lips and tapped his finger on the mug.

"Are… are you guys breaking up?" Haru asked.

Makoto felt his body go cold.

He blinked a few times and he glanced outside. The sky was gray and he could see people's puffs of air as they passed by the café. He remembered the weatherman predicting that it would snow this week…

"I…" Makoto started, his eyes turning dark and vacant as he stared out the window. "I don't know."

* * *

Makoto closed the door behind him.

"I'm home!" he called to the apartment.

Once again, there was no response, but Makoto knew Kanade was probably in her room packing. Makoto forced that smile to remain on his face as he took off his shoes and stripped himself of his coat. As he held the coat in his hands, his heart clenched.

This was the coat Kanade had gotten him for his birthday. He loved that birthday. He loved this jacket.

He loved… _her._

Makoto put the coat on the back of the couch and headed back to the bedrooms. He gently knocked on her door.

"Kanade?" Makoto called. When he heard no response, he quietly opened the door. "Kanade, I…"

Makoto stopped when he saw Kanade sitting on the floor with her head and arms slumped over on her bed. She was fast asleep. Makoto blinked a few times and then fully entered the room.

Her suitcase was on the floor next to her slumped form, half filled with clothes. It pained his heart to see it and he flitted his gaze back to Kanade's sleeping form.

Makoto was about to wake her up when he saw the papers strewn about on her bed. The first thing he noticed was the train ticket. His eyes glanced over it quickly, his heart hurting too much to study it. The next thing he noticed was the several pictures that rested on the bed.

Several of the pictures were from the training camp. He saw so many happy smiles splayed out over her bed and Makoto could not help but wonder why she wanted to give all that up. She even had a copy of their relay team sitting out to be packed.

There was one picture resting underneath her hand that caught Makoto's attention. It was a picture of just the two of them on the beach. Kanade had her arm thrown around Makoto's shoulders and he was laughing with his eyes shut tight. Makoto blinked at the picture. When had Gou taken that?

Kanade let out a long sigh and moved to get more comfortable. Makoto froze until her body stilled and she fell back into slumber. He sighed in relief and carefully moved to pick up the spare blanket that rested on her bed. He draped the blanket over her shoulders and brushed her hair out of her face. He carefully looked at her as he caressed her cheeks and stroked her hair.

The skin underneath her eyes was red as if she had been rubbing them a lot. Makoto rubbed a thumb over them gently and then kissed her temple.

"I hope this is the right thing to do," Makoto whispered. He stared at her for a few more seconds before pushing himself up and walking out of her bedroom, quietly turning off her light and shutting the door behind him.

Still slumped on the bed, Kanade's eyes opened. She felt tears start to prick at her eyes and then she buried her head into her arms.

 _I can't stay here, Makoto,_ Kanade thought. _I can't stay here and keep hurting you._

* * *

The fateful Friday morning finally came and it was bitterly cold outside. There was snow in the forecast for later, and normally Makoto would be excited. It would possibly be the first snow of the year and yet… it made him feel sad and cold.

He thought of how he and Kanade could enjoy hot chocolate together or go out and make a snowman in the university square. He wanted to snuggle with her under a blanket and watch a movie.

His heart dropped when he realized those days would never come.

Makoto walked to Kanade's door and poked his head inside. Kanade was donned in her standard black hoodie along with the light blue scarf that Makoto had gotten her. His heart stung bitterly at seeing it wrapped snugly around her neck.

 _This isn't fair…_ Makoto thought. _But I can't hold her back. I don't want to push my nose into this._

Makoto's chest hurt. He almost lost Haru for overstepping his boundaries, and he wasn't about to let it happen again. Even if she's gone for good, he did not want to leave her with bad memories of him.

A persistent lump had lodged itself into his throat as he opened his mouth to speak, so Makoto cleared his throat, making Kanade look up from her suitcase.

"Oh… hey," Kanade greeted.

The lump returned in Makoto's throat and he tried to gulp it down. He stalled by shoving his hands into his pockets and putting on a strained smile.

"H-Hey," Makoto croaked out. He looked down at her suitcase to avoid looking into those blue eyes. "You, uh… already packed?"

Kanade blinked up at him and then glanced down at her suitcase. She hummed in response and then zipped up the suitcase. She pushed herself up onto her feet and glanced over at Makoto.

"My train leaves soon," she said quietly.

"O-Oh," Makoto said. He raised a hand and rubbed the back of his neck. "Do you need help carrying anything there?" he asked, avoiding eye contact.

Kanade picked up her suitcase easily in one hand and shook her head.

"I've got it," she said quietly.

She moved to walk by Makoto and exit her room, and Makoto felt his heart clench painfully inside his chest.

 _Don't go,_ he thought. _This isn't right._

He whirled around just as she was passing by and grabbed her wrist.

"Wait," he said. Kanade turned around to look at him, her eyes wide. "What about… us?" he asked.

Kanade stared at him, unmoving and frozen in place. Once his words finally got through to her, her forehead wrinkled and she looked away.

"I… don't know," she said softly.

Makoto held his breath and his eyes started to sting again. He slowly let go of her wrist and his gaze fell to look at the floor. He hummed, acknowledging her answer. They stood still for a moment before Kanade turned and headed down the hallway. Makoto dragged his feet to follow her out.

They walked down the stairs of the apartment and out of the alleyway. The sky was still cloudy and Makoto could see his breath in the frigid air. Normally, the cold would make him shudder, but his body felt completely numb at the moment. He could only feel the dull throb of his heart thudding tightly against his chest.

 _It hurts,_ Makoto thought. _This hurts._

Kanade stepped onto the sidewalk and turned to look at him with a wince. Her eyes were watering slightly and her cheeks and nose were red.

"Well," Makoto said, putting his hands into his pockets again. He tried for a smile and it felt so _wrong_.

 _This isn't how this was supposed to go._

 _We were supposed to be together._

 _I want to be with you forever._

"Well," Kanade mimicked with her own forced smile. "This is goodbye."

Makoto's smile fell and he looked at the ground. The thudding in his chest grew more painful and his lungs refused to work.

"Yeah," Makoto said.

He closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around her tiny frame. With her free hand, Kanade patted his back. When they separated, he pressed his lips to her forehead. They both closed their eyes and savored the feeling.

Makoto pulled back with a sad smile and brushed her hair behind her ear.

"I hope you find what you're looking for," Makoto said.

Kanade returned a small smile. "Yeah, me too."

Kanade took a step back, her hand still in Makoto's.

"Thank you for everything, Makoto," Kanade said. She took another step back, their fingertips still touching.

Makoto's heart sank at her words.

 _No, it's… not you that should be thanking me,_ he thought.

 _You're the one that needs to be thanked._

"Goodbye, Makoto," Kanade said.

 _You changed me, Kanade._

She took one last step backwards and her hand slipped out of his.

 _You're... everything._

Makoto's outstretched hand felt cold and empty, just like his chest. It was such a small gesture but it made his entire body ache.

"Goodbye," Makoto whispered.

Kanade gave a small wave and turned around to head down the street. Makoto watched her back as she walked down the path that led to the train station. His eyes stung again and his hands curled into tight fists by his sides.

Then, he felt something cold land on his nose.

He glanced up at the sky and watched as snowflakes started to gently fall to the ground.

 _It's cold,_ Makoto thought.

He glanced back down the path and Kanade was nowhere in sight.

Makoto's chest clenched.

 _It's… really cold._

* * *

Fukui huffed out a sigh as he looked at the different profiles of each athlete. He was sitting in the lobby of the National Aquatics Center in Tokyo. There would be several meetings throughout the day and he had a plan to speak with each athlete on the team.

Today, both the men's and women's swimming teams were meeting up at the center, so the lobby was overrun with athletes of all shapes and sizes. Fukui did not bother to interact with most of them. His mind was preoccupied with the clipboard in his hands and his decision on that coach's offer.

Fukui was going to ask both Kanade and Makoto to be his assistants during the Olympic training, but he had just not gotten around to asking yet. He knew Kanade was still struggling emotionally with everything and he had wanted to give her space. So he gave her space to calm down in the hopes that she'll accept.

Besides, Fukui thought that the title of "personal trainer" would be more appealing than being his lackey.

Fukui huffed out another sigh and flipped a page of the clipboard to study the next athlete. He heard a shuffle of feet in front of him and then a startled grunt.

"Oh, Fukui-san."

Fukui looked up from his clipboard to see a lean swimmer standing in front of him. He looked oddly familiar, with his black hair and blue eyes…

"Oh! You're Makoto's friend, yes?" Fukui asked. "Oh, what was it… um… Nan…"

"Nanase Haruka," Haru responded.

"Ah, yes, Nanase-kun," Fukui said with a friendly smile. "So you made the men's team?"

"Yes," Haru responded.

"Well, congratulations! I'm glad to see you've made it," Fukui said.

"Th-Thank you," Haru said. His mouth twisted and he looked away for a second before meeting Fukui's gaze. "Um… I don't mean to sound rude, but what are you doing here?"

Fukui's smile faltered and he cocked a brow.

"Well, I'm co-coaching the women's team for the Olympics," Fukui responded. He chuckled lightly and looked back down at his clipboard.

"Um… that's not what I meant," Haru said, and Fukui lifted his gaze to lock with Haru's. "I mean, why aren't you seeing Shizumi off?"

Fukui froze.

"What do you mean by that?" Fukui asked, his brows knitting together.

"She's leaving today, isn't she?" Haru asked. "On the train?"

As the words sunk in, Fukui's hands shook, and the clipboard fell from his fingers to clatter onto the pavement.

Then, he turned on his heel and left the building.

* * *

Makoto's gaze turned back up to the sky as the snow fell softly. The sun was starting to set, making the gray clouds have an orange tint to them. It was truly a beautiful sight, seeing the orange sun glisten on the white snowflakes.

But Makoto felt pained inside.

He still had so much he had wanted to say.

But now…

She was gone.

Wait.

Did he tell her he loved her?

 _Crap_ , he thought. _Of all the things I said to her, I don't think I ever told her that I'm in love with her!_

Makoto's face scrunched up in distress and his hands curled into tight fists at his sides.

 _This hurts._

Makoto felt his eyes sting again.

 _It's so cold…_

Makoto's chest stuttered as he inhaled a shaky breath.

 _But… this is for the best._

 _…Right?_

" **Makoto**!"

Makoto jumped at hearing his name. He whirled around and saw Fukui running to him.

"Fukui-san?" Makoto said.

When Fukui got in front of Makoto he hunched over on his knees and panted. He looked around Makoto and at the rec center.

"Where is she?" Fukui asked in between pants.

Makoto blinked a few times. "She went to the train station."

Fukui snapped his head up at Makoto, a look of absolute horror on his face. And in a split second, it melted into fury.

"And you just _let her go?!_ " Fukui growled, getting in Makoto's face.

Makoto took a step back and put his hands up to appease the man.

"She said this is what she wants!" Makoto said defensively. "She said she wanted to find a new dream for herself and the only way was for her to leave."

"That's not what she's doing, you fool!" Fukui yelled. "She's running away again. And this time, I'm not sure she'll come back."

"But… Fukui-san, she said she couldn't stay here. She said she wanted to do this," Makoto said.

"And?!" Fukui said. "You're just going to let her do this?!"

"I… I didn't want to be selfish," Makoto said softly.

"Dammit, boy, BE selfish!" Fukui shouted, gripping Makoto's shoulders. Makoto's eyes widened.

"W-What?" Makoto stuttered.

" _Be_ selfish for once!" Fukui yelled. "You can't let her go. If she gets on that train, she won't come back."

"B-But… that's what she wants…"

"Is that what _you_ want?!" Fukui shouted.

"No…" Makoto breathed. "No, it's… I want to be by her side."

"Then _go after her!_ " Fukui said. He shoved Makoto away, making him fumble backwards a few steps. " _Don't_ let her run away. _Don't_ let her get on that train!" Fukui pointed at him. "You love her, don't you?"

Makoto's heart jolted and his eyes widened at his comment. His cheeks burned.

"I… I…" Makoto stuttered, thinking through everything they ever went through.

 _"Ah, Makoto. That's a nice name!"_

 _"I'm Shizumi Kanade."_

Makoto's breath hitched in his chest.

 _"I hope swimming with me makes you the slightest bit happy."_

He stopped thinking.

He turned on his heel.

 **And ran.**

"Hurry, boy! Go!" Fukui yelled as he watched Makoto take off down the street.

 _I'm such an idiot!_ Makoto thought as he turned a corner.

 _How could I ever think of letting you go?_

Makoto swiftly passed by some people on the sidewalk as he sprinted up the hill. His legs started to ache but he pressed on, forcing himself up the hill. He almost ran into a few pedestrians trying to escape the snow but he managed to dodge them.

 _"I'm SO sorry!"_

 _"I wasn't looking where I was going and I was trying to be on time for class! I'm really sorry!"_

 ** _You crashed into my life._**

Makoto passed by a park and some kids playing on the nearby playground. They were all laughing and running around at seeing the white snow fall gracefully to the ground. He could hear Kanade's voice ringing in his ears.

 _"The kids must've been so lucky to have you as their teacher!"_

 _"I talked to my old man and he said he's opened up the swim-teaching program at the rec center. There's already been five kids to register! So once we get back from break, you can start right away!"_

 ** _You pushed me to follow my dreams._**

He could see his breath in the cold, winter air as he pushed through a crowd of people on the busy street. He passed by a hotel and saw a covered pool outside. His heart jumped wildly in his chest as his memories hurdled him back through time.

 _"Wanna come swim sometime?"_

 _"Show me your backstroke!"_

 _"Go, Tachibana-kun!"_

 ** _You were the one who brought swimming back into my life._**

Makoto's lungs were on fire as the cold attacked them with each breath. He raced past a few stores, running by an aquatics store. There was a huge poster on the front of the glass of a family at the beach.

Makoto's heart stuttered.

 _"I won't let go, I'm right here."_

 _"Just trust me."_

 _"Okay, Makoto. Open your eyes."_

 _"You realize where you are, don't you?"_

 _"At night. And you're doing great."_

 ** _You were the one who helped me overcome my fear of the ocean once and for all._**

Just a few more blocks and he would be at the station, hopefully before the train had arrived. Makoto wanted to stop and catch his breath, but he knew that he was racing against time. He surged forward, lowering his head to go faster.

But as soon as he turned the corner, Makoto lost his footing and tripped, falling hard on his hands and knees. He could hear people around him gasp and whisper, wondering about his condition. He hissed in pain as he scrambled to his feet, each step throbbing as he continued down the path.

 _"I kinda took a spill on the steps."_

 _"I… went… for… a… run."_

 _"I was afraid… you'd leave."_

 _"I was afraid that you would find out. I was so scared so… I ran away."_

 ** _You ran away multiple times. And I let you._**

Makoto could see the station in sight. It was just a few blocks away.

 ** _But I'm not letting you run away. Not this time._**

 ** _I'm not letting you because…_**

 ** _Because…_**

Makoto slowed to a light jog as he entered the station, his heart pounding angrily against his chest. His head whipped around, studying every face and passerby. He was too out of breath to speak, but he wanted to try.

He had to find her.

Makoto ran down the platform, ignoring the cries of people who were telling him to slow down. Brushing past several people, he stopped and took a moment to glance around again.

 _Where is she? She has to be here somewhere._

Suddenly, Makoto heard the sound of metal scraping and a soft ding rang overhead. He whipped his head to the tracks and saw that the train had entered the station.

 _Oh, crap!_

Makoto whipped his head around more, his core starting to panic. Every black-haired girl he saw, his heart jumped but then sunk once he realized it was not who he was looking for. He peered over the crowd and glanced towards the front of the train where its platform was nearly empty.

His eyes widened.

A black hoodie.

Black hair that flowed around her shoulders.

A long, light blue scarf.

A suitcase in her hand.

"Kanade…" Makoto whispered.

Makoto pushed past the crowd of people and rushed towards the front of the train, towards Kanade. She was still so many feet ahead of him, and she started to walk forward towards the train doors. Makoto stopped, his stamina finally at its limit. He hunched over and rested his hands on his knees to catch his breath, raising his head to watch as she took another step forward.

 _No… don't!_

 _Don't leave!_

Makoto straightened and curled his hands into fists.

 _Don't leave_ _ **me**_ _!_

"KANADE!" Makoto yelled at the top of his lungs.

Kanade jolted to a stop and whirled around, her blue eyes wide in shock. She stared back at him from across the platform.

"Don't get on that train, Kanade!" Makoto called, his voice echoing.

Kanade's face scrunched up painfully, her hand gripping the handle of her suitcase. Her foot shifted towards the train and she turned to face it again.

"Kanade!" Makoto called again, making her stop.

Makoto's head spun, his legs refusing to move as they shook from exhaustion. He grit his teeth and curled his hands into fists, frustrated that his body would not obey him.

"Listen to me, Kanade!" Makoto started. "If you get on that train, you will regret it. Don't run away."

Kanade shut her eyes tight and started to surge towards the train.

"It wasn't the water that made you special, Kanade!" Makoto yelled.

Kanade froze in her tracks.

"It was you!" Makoto yelled. " _You_ made the water come alive!"

Kanade's eyes widened, and she turned her head. Blue met green in an instant, and Kanade's heart clenched in her chest. She closed her eyes and turned her head down to face the ground.

She took another step.

"NO!" Makoto yelled.

 _"The train is now leaving the station. Please step back_."

Kanade's eyes popped open and she was met with a closing door. She could see her reflection in the window after it shut, and then the train disappeared from the platform completely.

Her eyes widened and she took a step back, her gaze now fixed on the ground. She risked a glance at Makoto and then turned her back on him. She started to walk towards the exit near the front, walking swiftly away from Makoto.

"KANADE!" Makoto yelled, making her stop once again.

He stared at her back, wanting to run his fingers through her black hair. She stood completely still, the suitcase still in her hand.

"If you won't stay for yourself, then…" Makoto gulped. "Then stay for me!" he yelled. "Kanade, I… I can't live without you! I _need_ you! I don't want you to leave because I… I…"

 _"I hope swimming with me can make you the slightest bit happy."_

 ** _You were the one… who saved me._**

"Kanade!" Makoto called.

He took a deep breath.

" **I love you**!"

Makoto panted, feeling overwhelmed by his confession. He watched Kanade's back, noticing how it jolted at his words and how she froze in her spot.

Makoto felt dread churn in his stomach.

Did she not feel the same way?

Was she… really going to leave?

Kanade hung her head for a moment, and then she whirled around, tears forming in her glassy eyes.

"Makoto…" she said, finally speaking.

Makoto's eyes widened as a few tears spilled from her eyes. She took in a deep breath before speaking again, her eyes fierce and her free hand curling into a fist.

" **I… I love you, too**!"

Kanade dropped her suitcase on the ground and ran back towards him. Makoto opened his arms up to her and caught her as she jumped into them, her arms wrapping around his neck. She buried her face into his chest.

"I'm sorry… Makoto, I'm so, so sorry," Kanade said over and over, sobs starting to wrack her body. Makoto held her close and nuzzled his face in her neck, taking in her smell. "This is all my fault. I was so selfish! Makoto, I'm so sorry!"

"Kanade…" Makoto whispered against her skin.

Makoto leaned back and stared at the top of her head. Kanade lifted her head from his chest and stared up at him with wet, red eyes. Makoto gently cupped her cheek and wiped the tears from her face. Her lip quivered, threatening to break down into more sobs, but Makoto leaned down and pressed his forehead against hers.

"Kanade," he whispered again. "You're not useless, okay? You're not _nothing_ , you understand?"

Kanade's tears kept flowing down her cheeks pitifully and she focused on his eyes.

"Kanade," Makoto said firmly. " **You're everything**!"

Kanade closed her eyes, more tears escaping and falling off of her chin. She felt Makoto's thumb brush the skin underneath her eyes, wiping the tears as they fell.

"Please," Makoto begged. "Please don't leave me."

Kanade paused, opening her eyes. She stared up at his pleading face. She sniffed and then raised a hand to grasp his shirt. She nodded, closing her eyes again.

"Okay," she agreed. "I'll stay."

"Kanade…"

"I'm so sorry…" Kanade whimpered.

"Kanade."

Kanade suddenly felt her chin being pulled up and she opened her eyes. She stared into his green eyes, watching as they closed. He leaned down close and then gently pressed his lips to hers.

Kanade's breath hitched in her chest, hesitating only for a moment before she closed her eyes and then started to move her lips with his. She moved her hands to wrap around his neck and sighed into the kiss. Makoto gently grabbed her waist and pulled her close, wanting the gap between them to disappear completely.

They finally broke the kiss and stared into each other's lidded eyes. Kanade was panting slightly and she could feel her weak heart trying to keep up with her.

"Easy," Makoto said gently, brushing his nose against hers. "Kanade," Makoto called, drawing her gaze up to meet his. "Let's go home."

* * *

One more to go.

Let's finish this.

~LuckE1


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50

* * *

Makoto held Kanade's hand as he led her down the sidewalk. The snow was still gently falling, Kanade not bothering to brush the white flakes from her hair. She was too busy staring up at Makoto's back and neck and hair, wondering if it was all real.

 _"I love you!"_

Kanade felt her heart clench painfully in her chest and her stomach felt heavy.

How could she be so stupid? How could she even think about walking away from the greatest thing that happened in her life?

Guilt clawed up Kanade's throat and more tears spilled out of her eyes. She shut her eyes tight and let Makoto guide her down the sidewalk. She tried to stay silent but a small whimper escaped her lips and made Makoto halt in his tracks. She felt a warm hand cup her cheek to wipe the tears away and she opened her eyes.

Makoto was staring down at her, his expression somber but his eyes gentle. His hand moved to the top of her head and he delicately wiped the snowflakes from her hair. He finally gave her a fond smile.

Kanade's eyes watered up again at seeing that smile.

 _Makoto, you're incredible,_ Kanade thought. _I can't believe I've hurt you so much._

"We're almost home," Makoto said, wiping away another tear. Kanade nodded and let Makoto take her hand again, guiding them back towards the rec center.

When they passed the shop that was next to the alleyway of the rec center, they spotted an old man pacing on the sidewalk. Makoto's eyes widened when he realized it was Fukui.

"Fukui-san?" Makoto whispered, coming to a stop. Kanade's eyes widened as well and she felt her chest tighten.

Fukui stopped pacing once he saw the two of them and his face twisted in anger. He curled his hands into fists by his sides and he stormed over towards Kanade.

" _You,_ " he growled.

Kanade took a few steps back, her face contorting into a pained expression.

"Ah, w-wait, Fukui-san!" Makoto shouted, putting a hand on Fukui's shoulder to stop him.

"What were you _thinking_?!" Fukui yelled, remaining in the spot where Makoto held him.

Kanade's eyes stung with fresh tears and her hand clutched onto her hoodie.

"Don't you realize what sort of _pain_ and _worry_ you've put people through? How could you be so selfish?!" Fukui yelled, his loud voice making Kanade flinch.

"Fukui-san!" Makoto begged, squeezing his shoulder. "J-Just wait a minute!"

"No, I've had _enough_!" Fukui spat. "There is no excuse for this! None whatsoever!"

"But, Fukui-san—"

"You had to drag her sorry ass back here!"

Kanade watched the two of them go back and forth, Makoto trying to soothe Fukui's angered outbursts. She felt her chest tighten and her lungs constricted.

She knew she was at fault.

She knew she caused them pain.

And she deserved every bit of this.

The suitcase fell from her hand and landed on the sidewalk with a rattling _thud_. Makoto and Fukui jolted and immediately turned to face her, their brows rising as she fell to her knees.

"Kanade—"

Kanade put her forehead onto the ground in a deep bow.

" **I'm so sorry**!" she shouted through tears.

Fukui and Makoto were stunned silent at Kanade's crouched form, her head on the ground.

"I'm so sorry I p-put you through s-so much," Kanade said. Her voice was cracking and her shoulders were trembling violently. "I've been so selfish and all you two have d-done is take care of me. I _never_ wanted to hurt you."

"Kanade…" Makoto whispered

"I'm _so, so sorry,"_ Kanade continued. "Please… _Please_ , forgive me. I'll do anything! _Please._ I didn't mean to hurt you! You don't deserve this. You don't deserve any of this!"

Makoto winced, feeling his eyes well up with tears at seeing her so distressed. He took a step towards her and reached out his hand to touch her back, but Fukui beat him to it.

Fukui pushed past Makoto and knelt down to Kanade to grip her shoulders and hoist her up, revealing tear-stained cheeks and wide, blue eyes. Fukui lifted up a flat hand, and Makoto's breath hitched inside his chest. He took a tentative step forward to intervene, afraid that Fukui was going to hurt her, but stopped short when Fukui gave her a light pat on the cheek. It was not enough to hurt but it was enough for Kanade to flinch. Kanade stared at him with wide eyes, her cheek tingling ever so slightly.

"You stupid girl," Fukui said with watering eyes.

He pulled her into his arms and held her tight, one hand coming up to rest on the back of her head.

"You stupid, stupid girl," he repeated, his voice choked.

Kanade was stunned frozen for a moment before she lifted up her shaking arms to grip Fukui's jacket. She buried her nose into the crook of his neck and started to sob. She whispered apology after apology and Fukui merely shushed her.

Makoto felt his lips pull into a sympathetic smile and he knelt down next to them. He reached over and rubbed the top of Kanade's head.

"Of course we forgive you."

* * *

"Now that I've got both of you, I'm here to tell you about your new jobs for the next year."

Kanade and Makoto glanced up from the dinner table to look at Fukui. Kanade, her eyes still red and puffy, had a blanket draped over her shoulders and a steaming cup of tea in her hands. Makoto sat right next to her and rubbed his hand gently on her shoulder.

"Jobs?" Makoto repeated, cocking his head.

"Yep," Fukui said. He put his hands on his hips and stared at the two of them. "You two are going to come and work with me for the women's national swimming team."

The two of them froze, eyes wide and jaws dropped.

"National team? You mean…" Makoto stuttered.

"Yep! You two are going to be helping the swimmers for the upcoming Olympics," Fukui answered.

Makoto blinked at him and then turned his head to look at Kanade. He felt his heart clench when he saw that Kanade's face remained shocked and unsure. Makoto's brows creased and he turned to look at Fukui.

"I… I don't know if that's such a good idea," Makoto said quietly. He paused to gulp down the lump in his throat. "I mean, don't you think you should ask—"

"I'll do it."

Makoto whipped his head to look at Kanade, his eyes wide. Kanade was staring up at Fukui with so much determination in her face. It was the most Makoto had seen her like this in _months_. He was unsure of how to process it. He only felt his heart jolt in his chest and his mind spun in shock.

"I'll do it," Kanade repeated with more vigor. "What do we need to do?" she asked, sitting forward.

Fukui paused for a moment before a smile crept onto his face.

"There's a practice later this week."

* * *

"Here we are."

Makoto and Kanade eyed the huge aquatics building that stood before them. Fukui had a clipboard in hand with several papers attached to it. He led the two awe-struck kids towards the front door. Upon entering, he had to show his ID on a badge that hung around his neck.

Kanade trailed closely behind Makoto, her hands anxiously wringing her wrists. She ducked her head down as they passed the front desk and headed towards the pool. Makoto kept his eye on her as they walked down the hallways. Her eyebrows were furrowed together and her face was scrunched up. Her shoulders were hunched and her gaze was glued to the floor.

Makoto reached back and took her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. She looked up at him with worried eyes and Makoto gave her a smile.

"It'll be okay," Makoto said.

Kanade blinked at him and then nodded without a smile.

When they walked through the double doors that led to the pool, they were met with the intense smell of chlorine and the sound of splashing.

Kanade froze at the door, her mind reeling.

She remembered swimming with her teammates.

She remembered winning regionals in high school.

She remembered swimming with the Iwatobi team and Rin and Haru.

She remembered swimming with Makoto and how he made her feel so alive.

She remembered when swimming almost cost her her life.

"Kanade."

Kanade jolted out of her thoughts and looked to Makoto who was eyeing her carefully. He reached out to touch her shoulder.

"Are you all right?" he asked, his thumb gently caressing her shoulder.

Kanade swallowed and then nodded mutely, her face remaining strained. Makoto tried for a smile and squeezed her shoulder.

"Ah, good morning, Fukui-san!"

A familiar voice startled them both and caused Makoto to turn around. Kanade's heart sunk when she saw her former coach talking to Fukui. He had a smile on his face, albeit strained, but a smile all the same. Kanade felt her gut twist painfully and she reached across her body to grab her arm, shyly protecting herself.

After a few exchanges of words, Fukui gestured the coach to Kanade and Makoto. He turned towards them and his nervous smile faltered into a remorseful frown. He took a deep breath and walked gingerly towards them.

"I want to thank you both for your help with the national team," the coach started.

Makoto offered a forced smile and a quiet "thanks," but his hands were in tight fists by his sides. The coach seemed to take notice and he turned to Kanade next.

"Shizumi," he called, making Kanade jump. She looked up at him apprehensively and her eyes widened as he bowed to her. "I sincerely apologize for how I handled the situation. It was wrong of me to be so inconsiderate of you. I am hoping that you will still join the national team as a personal trainer."

Kanade's breath hitched in her chest.

A personal trainer?

"You… want me to be a personal trainer?" Kanade asked.

"Yes," the coach said, his head still bowed to her.

Makoto blinked down at the man, his eyes wide and his lips parted slightly.

"It would be an honor to have you," the coach continued.

Kanade hesitated, her teeth gnawing at her bottom lip. She looked to Makoto and Fukui for advice and they looked back at her with fond smiles. Kanade gulped and then looked down at her coach. She leaned her head down in a slight bow.

"I… I will do my best, Coach," she said quietly.

The coach jolted up and stared at Kanade with wide eyes. He smiled – a true smile – and rested his hand on Kanade's shoulder, making her rise.

"Welcome to the team!" he beamed.

Kanade could not help but give a small smile at his enthusiasm.

"Alright, alright!" Fukui grumbled to them. "We've got work to do!"

"Yes, sir!" the coach said happily, following Fukui to the pool.

Kanade rubbed the side of her arm nervously as Makoto approached her.

"Let's go," Makoto said gently, extending his hand out to her.

Kanade stared at his hand for a moment before taking it and squeezing it. She looked up at him with anxious determination in her eyes.

"Right."

* * *

The practice was going over smoothly so far. Makoto helped Fukui analyze each swimmer's needs and talked with each of them about their proper regimens. He was enjoying himself more than he thought he would, and his face lit up whenever he got the chance. He knew this was different than teaching children how to swim, but he enjoyed it nonetheless.

He glanced up from the chart in his hands to check on Kanade and his smile faltered.

Kanade was standing off to the side by herself, watching the swimmers dive off of the platforms and into the water. She had her hands clasped in front of her protectively, and almost in a deflective manner. She looked almost… lost.

Makoto knew how hard this would be for her. He knew that she would look at each swimmer and compare herself.

She would question her abilities and her times.

She would question why the universe had dealt her such a bad hand.

She would _envy_ them and then chastise herself for feeling that way.

Then she would feel guilty.

Makoto abruptly stood up from his seat. Fukui eyed him curiously as he set down the charts on the table next to him and hurried off in Kanade's direction.

Kanade was still standing timidly as he approached and Makoto placed a tentative hand on her shoulder.

"Kanade, are you okay?" Makoto asked.

Kanade's brows lowered and she avoided his eyes. She set her jaw and her posture stiffened.

"I'm fine," she said through gritted teeth.

"Are… are you sure? I mean, we can take a break—"

"I _said_ I'm _fine_ ," Kanade hissed, slapping Makoto's hand off of her shoulder.

As soon as she saw Makoto flinch back with a shocked look on his face, she regretted the action and immediately started to scold herself for being so cruel. Her face fell and she lowered her head to him as guilt churned in her stomach.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized, her voice incredibly small.

"Kanade, you don't need to—"

"Bathroom!" Kanade blurted. Makoto blinked at her, confused.

"Eh?"

"I-I need to use the bathroom!" Kanade announced again. She turned towards the hallways and marched out of the double doors, leaving Makoto behind.

Makoto winced and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Don't do this to yourself, Kanade," Makoto whispered.

* * *

Makoto and Kanade ate dinner in silence that night, neither one of them really eating. Makoto threw her some worried glances as he helped clean up the kitchen, observing her sluggish behavior.

The world had not been kind to her that day. Not only did she look guilty for the rest of practice but she also looked defeated. She avoided Makoto's eyes and stood off to the side. Even Watabe came up to her to speak to her but Kanade was nearly in tears. It hurt Makoto to see her so distressed.

Makoto put the dishes away in the cabinet and quickly glanced down at Kanade. Her eyes were shimmering just like earlier that day, and it broke Makoto's heart. She had her dream pulled out from under her and in an instant, everything she had worked so hard for her whole life was meaningless.

The two of them tiptoed around each other while cleaning up the kitchen and they both headed back to their bedrooms for the night. They both stopped outside of their bedrooms and finally looked at each other in the eye.

"Do… do you need anything?" Makoto asked. Kanade shook her head. "Did you take your medicine?" he asked.

Kanade nodded and quietly said, "Yeah."

Makoto could not even manage a smile.

"All right, well…" Makoto said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'll, uh… I'll see you tomorrow. Good night."

Makoto turned to go into his room but was suddenly stopped when he felt a hand on his wrist. He turned around and saw Kanade standing behind him with a sheepish expression on her face. She avoided his eyes and had her gaze locked on the floor. She looked nervous.

"Kanade?" Makoto asked, feeling worry bubble inside his chest.

"Can I… sleep with you tonight?" Kanade asked quietly.

Makoto's flushed, a red trail crawling down his neck and coating the tips of his ears. He blinked down at her, his eyes wide. Her hand on his wrist burned to the touch.

"Y-Yeah, s… sure," Makoto gulped.

Kanade looked up at him with a blush forming on her face as well. She nodded and then led him into his bedroom. She let Makoto crawl into his bed first and then she followed after him. They laid back-to-back, Makoto's anxiety freezing him still. His heart was pounding in his chest at their proximity and he could feel the heat radiating from her back.

She was so close.

He wanted to hold her but… his nerves were shot to pieces.

And… did she even want to be held?

"I'm sorry…" Kanade suddenly murmured.

Makoto jolted and blinked at the darkness, all of this previous thoughts quickly fleeing from his mind.

"W-What?" Makoto said. He turned his body to lie flat on his back and he stared at the back of Kanade's head. "Why are you sorry?" he asked gently.

Kanade's shoulders scrunched up and she sighed.

"Just… today…" she paused to sigh again, her breaths sounding more and more frustrated. "You were right there with me when I started to fall apart again and… I snapped at you… and… you really don't deserve this."

Makoto sat up on his elbow and stared down at her.

"Kanade, it's fine," he said.

"It's not fine," Kanade said firmly, turning on her back to look up at him. Her eyes were watering, shimmering in the moonlit room. "I want to be someone who is worthy of you," Kanade said.

Makoto's eyes widened and his jaw dropped a little. He inhaled to speak but was quickly cut off.

"I'll do better, Makoto," Kanade said softly, turning her head away from him. "I promise."

"Kanade…" Makoto whispered.

Makoto closed his eyes for a minute, pained by her self-deprecating thoughts and words. He opened his eyes and then scooped her up in his arms. She jolted at first but let him take her into his arms. He leaned back down on the mattress and held her to his chest.

"You're already worthy of me, Kanade," Makoto whispered. He heard Kanade sniffle and he rubbed her back gently to comfort her. "The moment you told me you loved me was the moment you were worthy of me."

Kanade tensed in his arms and then she abruptly sat up. Makoto was thrown off guard at first but then he melted when her lips gently touched his. He sighed into the kiss and he reached up to gently run his fingers through her hair.

"You're… sure?" Kanade asked when she broke the kiss. She was staring down at him, fearfully awaiting his answer.

Makoto nodded and stroked her black hair.

"Of course," Makoto said. "I'm not going anywhere, Kanade. I'm right here."

Kanade's eyes widened and then squinted as they filled with tears. She leaned down to him and pressed her lips against his once again.

Their kisses started soft and sweet, their lips moving slowly against each other. After a moment, their breaths started to run ragged as their pace increased. Makoto felt his heart speed up rapidly and his body started to shiver at every kiss.

Then, Makoto felt his shirt being pulled up slightly and a cold hand touched his bare hip. He squeaked at the touch and his eyes flew open to look at Kanade. She broke the kiss at his squeak and stared down at him, her fingers still on his hip.

When Makoto remained silent, Kanade's face turned apprehensive and she looked away from him. She debated whether or not to remove her hand from his side and her fingers shook lightly on his skin.

"Is… is this okay?" she asked quietly, her voice wavering with nerves.

Makoto blinked at her and then he nodded mutely, letting out a puff of air from his swollen lips. Kanade turned her head back to him and she leaned down to kiss him again. He closed his eyes and he felt her fingers gently rubbing at his hipbone, the touch sending shivers down his spine.

Kanade raised her other hand to cup his cheek and tilt his head to get a better angle. She opened her mouth wider to kiss him deeper and he squeaked again, his chest jumping.

She broke the kiss to swing her leg over him, straddling his hips, and Makoto's hands dropped to the mattress. He watched with wide eyes as Kanade slowly lifted Makoto's shirt, revealing a toned stomach.

"Kanade…" Makoto whispered.

Kanade splayed her hands on his stomach, feeling every bump and curve of his abs. His muscles jumped and flinched underneath her fingertips, making her heart pound in her chest. She leaned down and pressed her lips to his stomach, just above his navel.

Makoto shuddered and his chest heaved. His hands gripped the sheets below him and he shut his eyes as his whole body tingled.

" _Kanade…_ " he said breathlessly.

She leaned back up and tugged on his shirt and Makoto looked down at her hands.

"Can…" Kanade started, and Makoto glanced back up at her. Her face was beet red and her eyes once again flitted away from his gaze. She tugged on his shirt again and stuttered. "Can… I…"

Makoto gulped, his heart threatened to break out of his chest. He leaned up and pulled his shirt off completely, throwing it off of the bed. He leaned back down and watched her carefully. Her lidded eyes were locked onto his now bare chest, taking in the sight before gently running her fingers over the muscles.

Kanade's hands started to wander down his chest, feeling his taut muscles with her palms. She leaned down again and started to kiss the center of his chest. He released a quivering sigh when he felt the wet kisses travel up his sternum and he jumped when her hands touched his sides. Her mouth moved up to kiss his collarbone, making Makoto a shivering mess.

When Kanade lightly bit his collarbone, she felt him shudder underneath of her. He let out a strained gasp and Kanade paused in her kissing. She sat up in alarm and stared at Makoto, who had shut his eyes tight and his hands were still gripping the sheets beneath him.

"Makoto?" Kanade called, reaching up to cup his cheek. His eyes popped open to look at her with a tense and almost fearful expression. "Are you okay?" she asked.

Makoto gulped again. He tried to pry his hands from the bed but he felt that he would crumble if he let go. He so badly wanted to reach up and touch her, but his body was frozen stiff and unable to move. He felt his insecurities rise in his throat like bile and his stomach churned from how intensely she was watching him.

"Makoto… you're shaking," Kanade said.

She rubbed up and down Makoto's trembling arms, a guilty look plaguing her face. Makoto looked down at his own arms as if they betrayed him and then stared back up at Kanade's forlorn face.

"Do… you not want to… to…"

Kanade's sentence trailed off, leaving Makoto to fill in the gaps. Guilt clawed up his throat and mixed with his anxiety. He shook his head and forced his hands off of the bed to grab her wrists.

"No, I… I do," Makoto said quietly. "It's just… I…"

Kanade watched him carefully, her eyes locked onto his with complete sincerity and concern. Makoto took a deep breath and sighed, feeling his face heat up more.

"It's just… I've never done this sort of thing before and I know you're more… experienced," Makoto said, looking away from her.

Kanade winced and her eyes darted around the room. She leaned up and rubbed her shoulder.

"Does… that bother you?" she asked, her voice sounding so small.

Makoto whipped his head to meet her gaze and he shook his head frantically.

"No, no, no!" Makoto said, waving his hands. "I just…"

Makoto bit his lip and his shoulders hunched up. His frame seemed very small and he wanted to shy away from Kanade's eyes. He desperately wanted to push those insecurities back down and hide them away for good, but he found that the more he talked, the more they spilled over for her to see.

"I just… I don't know what I'm doing," Makoto started. He closed his eyes briefly and then opened them just to look away from her. "And… I know I've lost some muscle and I've been trying to gain it back."

"Makoto…"

"And… I-I don't want to hurt you and—"

"Makoto."

"And I want you to be happy with me and—"

" _Makoto!"_ Kanade interrupted, grabbing the sides of his face. Makoto froze and stared up at Kanade's intense eyes. She was staring down at him with so much fondness that he thought his heart would break. "What are you saying?" she asked, her voice quivering.

Kanade leaned down to kiss his lips. His breath stuttered and then he sighed into the kiss. Once she broke the kiss, Kanade leaned down and left a burning trail of kisses down his throat and to his chest. Makoto squeaked softly this time, his body a little more relaxed.

"Don't you see, Makoto?" Kanade asked in a whisper.

Kanade rubbed her hands down his bare chest and he shivered as she planted a kiss over his heart. She kissed his chest again and again as if his heart was something to cherish.

"You're perfect."

Makoto jolted and then his eyes watered. His hands finally left the bed and they reached up to rest on Kanade's waist. She leaned down to him and kissed him on his lips again.

"Makoto," Kanade whispered against his lips. "I love you so much."

Makoto stared up at her blue eyes and sighed.

"I love you, too."

* * *

Sunlight poured into the bedroom the next morning.

Kanade was already awake, the blankets covering up her body. Her eyes stared at the sleeping man next to her, the soft glow of the sun kissing his bare skin as his chest rose and fell in a gentle rhythm. His hair fell over his closed eyes and Kanade reached over to push it out of his face.

She continued to stare at his peaceful face, listening to his quiet puffs of air that fell from his lips. Her fingers pushed his hair behind his ear and then traced down the side of his face until she cupped his jaw. In his sleepy haze, Makoto nuzzled her hand and she felt her heart clench.

 _You're so amazing,_ Kanade thought. _How did I get so lucky?_

 _"Oh, I hope you didn't get hurt from the fall earlier!"_

 _"Shizumi-chan!"_

A small smile pulled on Kanade's lips as she stroked Makoto's cheek with her thumb.

 _"I visit him on the weekends and watch him swim, but I never swam with him."_

 _"Wah I have to get to work!"_

 _"It's the only job I could get with such a good pay. My place isn't exactly the cheapest."_

Kanade's smile slowly faded into a grimace.

 _"I can't afford this place. I couldn't keep up with the rent and well… now I'm being evicted."_

 _"My… my sister is really sick."_

Makoto went through so much anguish early on in their friendship. But he still managed to show Kanade a smile, even through his pain.

 _"Makoto. Call me Makoto."_

 _"I'm not going anywhere."_

 _"I'm right here."_

Kanade reached up to stroke Makoto's hair again, her hand sliding down to his neck and then to his bare chest. She rested her hand over his heart and felt the steady beats against her palm.

 _"It wasn't the water that made you special, Kanade!"_

Kanade's heart leaped inside her chest and her eyes widened.

" _It was you!_ You _made the water come alive!"_

Kanade's heart pounded painfully inside her chest at hearing his words coming back to her.

 _"If you won't stay for yourself, then… then stay for me!"_

 _"Kanade!"_

Kanade's breath hitched in her chest as tears sprung to her eyes.

 _"_ _ **I love you!**_ _"_

Kanade blinked as the memory faded from her mind. She blinked, her mind feeling a little hazy from it all. Her heart felt full and alive. She leaned to Makoto and kissed his forehead gently while running her fingers through his hair.

"Makoto," Kanade whispered. "I love you, too."

She looked at his sleeping face again.

He chased after her.

He told her to stay.

He brought her home.

Kanade's face hardened into determination and she leaned her forehead against his.

"I love you," she whispered again, her eyes sparkling with renewed passion.

"And that is why I won't give up."

* * *

Makoto was heading to the national aquatics center. Kanade had already left that morning, which surprised him. She would usually lie around in bed before he came by to coax her to start the day.

So when he awoke to find he was in his bed alone, he was puzzled and a little worried.

Makoto pushed through the double doors of the building and headed towards the pool. The double doors to the pool were open and Fukui was standing there, leaning against the doorway. His arms were folded across his chest and his gaze was fixed on the pool beyond the doors. He was not even checking the clipboard or charts like he normally would every morning.

"Ah, good morning, Fukui-san," Makoto called.

Fukui turned his head, a smile on his face and he greeted Makoto with a nod.

"So, what are we doing today?" Makoto asked, stopping short of the door.

"Ah, well, just the usual," Fukui said, turning his head to look back into the pool. His fond smile did not leave his face.

Makoto cocked his head.

"Is… is everything okay?" Makoto asked, concerned with Fukui's lack of words.

Fukui chuckled lightly.

"I think things are better than okay," Fukui said. He gestured towards the pool with his head.

Makoto blinked at him and then took a few steps forward to peek inside the doorway.

" **C'mon, use your whole body, not just your arms! And you, don't make your arms too narrow**!"

Makoto's heart jumped inside his chest at the voice. He frantically searched for the source and he froze when he found it.

On the far end of the pool was Kanade with a stopwatch in her hand. She was kneeling down to a swimmer and talking to her with a sparkle in her eyes and determination on her face.

There was also something that hadn't been there in over a month.

There was a smile on her face.

A huge smile.

It was the smile Kanade wore when she was passionate about something.

It was the smile that she wore when she swam.

It was the smile she had… when she looked at Makoto.

Every noise around Makoto seemed to fade except for Kanade's voice echoing in the pool. She looked more alive than she had in months. The spark was back and her entire demeanor had changed.

Then, a different sound made Makoto's heart clench in his chest.

Kanade laughed.

The sound was beautiful.

Makoto thought his heart would break.

"Ah, Makoto, you all right there, lad?"

Makoto jolted and he turned to see Fukui standing next to him with a small smile on his face. Makoto blinked at him, confused, but when Fukui pointed to his face, Makoto reached up and touched his own cheek. It was wet.

Makoto's breath stuttered and wiped his cheeks, desperately trying to stop the tears. He felt a hand rest on his shoulder and he huffed out a breathy laugh. He'd never felt so relieved in all his life.

He had his Kanade back.

* * *

"So, we can set you up to take these classes in the fall."

"Ooh, that sounds good!"

Fukui quirked a brow when he heard two familiar voices coming from the break room at the aquatics center. It had been a good week or two since Kanade's attitude did a drastic change. She seemed to be getting along with the national team very well, and their times and techniques had improved greatly.

Fukui headed into the break room to see Kanade and Makoto huddled over a laptop. Kanade's blue eyes shined as she typed some information down on the computer and then turned it for Makoto to see. He nodded and smiled approvingly.

"What's going on here?" Fukui asked.

The two of them looked up from the computer with bright smiles.

"Ah, well, since Kanade had to drop classes this semester, I was helping her to figure out a new course of action for her degree," Makoto said.

Fukui's brows rose a little in surprise.

"You're continuing to get your degree?" Fukui asked, turning his attention to Kanade.

Kanade chuckled lightly and rubbed the back of her neck.

"Ah, yeah!" she said happily. "I'm sticking with sports medicine."

"We thought it would be a good fit for her," Makoto said, tilting his head down to look at Kanade fondly.

Kanade nodded happily back up at him and then they both turned to look at the computer.

"Too bad we won't graduate together," Kanade said with a playful pout.

"I'll still be at your graduation," Makoto said, wrapping his arms around her shoulders from behind and kissing her temple.

"Makoto!"

"Hm?"

"You're being so cheesy!"

"Eh?!"

Fukui just watched the scene unfold, amazed at Kanade's change of heart. His own heart swelled at the thought. He remembered raising a young and rebellious Kanade, a girl who was so stubborn that it frustrated him to no end. And now, here she was, making decisions that did not endanger her or bring harm to others.

He could not be more proud.

* * *

A few more weeks passed, and Makoto received a call from Haru, inviting him and Kanade to watch their training. They were both beyond excited to see the men's team and accepted the offer immediately.

There was one other thing, though…

" _Haru-chan!"_

"Nagisa-kun! Don't yell in here! The team is trying to concentrate!"

Nagisa and Rei were visiting their colleges again and just so happened to tag along with Kanade and Makoto.

Haru deadpanned at seeing the two of them but ignored it to focus on his training.

"Wow, they're really working hard," Nagisa noted.

"Well, of course! They don't have much time before the Olympics start next year," Rei explained.

The four of them leaned on the bars on the walkway of the stands, all eyes on Haru as he swam a quick lap. They chatted for a while until Makoto turned to Rei and Nagisa.

"So did you help to find new recruits for the swim club for next year?" Makoto asked.

Rei and Nagisa exchanged smiles and then turned back to Makoto.

"Well, we did help a little," Rei started. "But Dai-kun did most of the work."

"Oh? Dai?" Makoto asked, cocking his head.

"Yup! After we retired, I made Dai-chan captain!" Nagisa chirped.

Both Makoto and Kanade smiled. Captain Dai. It was a good fit.

"Oh! Mako-chan, I think Haru-chan's calling for you!" Nagisa suddenly said, his gaze back down at the pool.

The four of them turned their gaze to peer down at the pool and sure enough, Haru was waving at them to come down. Makoto and Kanade exchanged curious looks before descending the staircase to meet Haru by the starting block.

"Ah, Haru! Good times today!" Makoto said with his signature smile.

"Mmn, thanks," Haru said. He paused to give them both glances. "The… the coach wants to talk to you both about potentially helping out with the men's team."

Kanade jolted and stiffened. She stared at Haru with wide eyes and Makoto gaped at him.

"R-Really?" Kanade asked, her hands limp at her sides.

"Yeah," Haru replied simply. "Our coach wanted more assistants and I spoke to Fukui-san about it."

"Eh? You suggested us, Haru?" Makoto asked.

Haru nodded mutely and Makoto's eyes widened.

"Haru, that's… wow, Haru, you—"

"That's amazing!" Kanade interrupted, her eyes sparkling with a fiery passion.

Both Makoto and Haru jumped at her voice and looked down at her. She was looking up at Haru with a shocked look on her face. She quickly bowed to him.

"Thank you so, so much!" Kanade said.

Haru blinked at her and then looked away with a blush on his cheeks.

"Mmn, sure," he hummed in response. "Well, anyway… your coach says that he wants the men's team and women's team to train together some, so you'll be helping us out for those times."

Kanade straightened and both her and Makoto nodded in agreement.

"I'll go get the coach so he can talk to you," Haru said, turning around to walk towards the offices.

"Thank you, Nanase-kun!" Kanade shouted after him.

Haru stopped in his tracks and turned his head to her.

"Haru," he said quietly.

Kanade blinked and her lips parted.

"Huh?"

"Just Haru is fine," Haru added before walking again towards the hall. There was still a stain of blush on his cheeks.

Kanade hesitated and then her face lit up brightly.

"Thank you… Haru!"

* * *

"This is incredible! Our swimmers are breaking records!"

"Who are these swimmers this year? They must've picked a good team."

"Actually, I think the new coaches have something to do with it."

"Oh, yeah? I heard one of the coaches is a former Olympic athlete."

"He is! But he gives credit to his assistants more than anything else."

"His assistants?"

"Yes. I heard one of the assistants is his daughter."

* * *

"The Olympics are a year from today. Can you believe that?" Makoto asked as he and Kanade sat down in the break room.

"I know, it's unbelievable," Kanade said, looking through her charts. "Haru's doing great, too," she added.

"Mmn," Makoto said, nodding. "He has a good chance, I think."

"I agree."

They looked through a few more papers before they heard the pool doors shut with a solid _click_. Kanade stood up and poked her head out to the pool. It was empty.

A smirk appeared on her face and she turned to look at Makoto.

"Hey, Makoto!" Kanade called from the doorway.

"Mmn?" Makoto looked up from the clipboard in his hand.

"I think there's something up with the pool," Kanade said, pointing her finger towards the pool.

"Eh?!"

Makoto stood to his feet and followed Kanade out to the pool. He glanced up and down the lanes in search of anything out of place, but he could not find anything wrong.

"I… don't see anything wrong with—Uwah!"

 _SPLASH_

Makoto clambered to the surface and shook the water from his hair. He glanced up and saw a snickering Kanade standing above him.

"Hey!" Makoto pouted.

Kanade shrugged and put her hands up in defense.

"What?" she asked playfully.

"You said there was something wrong with it!" Makoto said.

"Yeah!" Kanade said.

She took a few steps back and then ran forward. She jumped and pulled her knees forward, hitting the water with a small splash. Makoto shielded his eyes from the splash and then watched with slight concern as she climbed to the surface. She broke the surface in a giggling fit, her hair soaked and her clothes sticking to her body.

"What was wrong was that we weren't in it!" Kanade said with a chuckle.

"Kanade!" Makoto scolded, suddenly worried about her health. He swam to her side and held her up by her arms.

"Don't worry, Makoto, I took my meds and I won't overdo it," she said. She took ahold of his wrists and tugged on him. "C'mon! Let's just have some fun!"

"But—"

His sentence was cut off by her lips and he suddenly forgot what he was going to say.

"C'mon!" Kanade said when she broke the kiss. "Doesn't swimming with me make you even the slightest bit happy?"

Makoto felt his heart jolt in his chest.

 ** _"I hope swimming with me makes you even the slightest bit happy."_**

A smile made its way onto Makoto's face and he chuckled, dragging her through the water and gently guiding her down the lane. They splashed each other playfully for a bit and had a not-so-serious race. They held their breaths underwater and Kanade watched Makoto attempt to do a backstroke with his clothes on.

Needless to say, he failed miserably and Kanade laughed.

They ended up floating on their backs and staring up at the ceiling, their fingers interlaced and smiles on their faces. The only sounds they could hear were the quiet humming of the air conditioning and the gentle babbling of the water hitting the side of the pool.

"Makoto," Kanade called quietly.

Makoto turned his head in the water to look at Kanade. She was smiling fondly, her free hand resting across her stomach.

"I… I've found my new dream," she said softly.

Makoto blinked at her.

"Oh, really? What is it?" he asked.

Kanade turned her head to look at him and she gripped his hand.

"It's you."

Makoto froze and then his face flushed. A huge smile formed on his face and he squeezed her hand back.

"Hey, Kanade," Makoto called, just as quiet.

"Hm?" she hummed.

"Swimming with you definitely makes me happy."

* * *

"Makoto, where are we going?"

"You'll see!"

"You sound like Nagisa."

"Just be patient, Haru!"

Makoto led Haru through the local mall in Tokyo. Haru was not amused and looked completely bored. His hands were shoved into his pockets as he followed Makoto around the large mall, the crowds already getting on his nerves.

"Where are we going?" Haru asked again.

"You'll see!" Makoto answered again with a lilt in his voice.

Haru pouted and continued to follow Makoto, only getting sidetracked a few times by the fish tanks in a nearby pet store. Makoto had managed to drag him out before he could completely undress and guided him back into the main part of the mall.

Soon enough, they came upon a line of fancier and more expensive stores.

And Makoto led Haru into a jewelry store.

Haru froze at the entrance, his eyes darting around in confusion.

"Makoto," he called.

Makoto stopped in his tracks and turned around to face Haru. He had a smile on his face but his brows were creased nervously.

"Yes, Haru?" Makoto asked.

"What are we doing here?" Haru asked.

Makoto hesitated and then raised a hand to rub the back of his neck. He chuckled anxiously, his hand rubbing his skin raw.

"I, uh… I want to show you something," Makoto said shyly.

Makoto turned around and walked towards the back of the store. Haru followed cautiously, his heart fluttering in anticipation.

Why was Makoto bringing him here?

This was a jewelry store, so why would he need to be here?

Wait.

Was Makoto…?

"How can I help you, sir?"

The clerk at the register snapped Haru out of his thoughts and he looked up to see Makoto handing the clerk a card that had his information and a serial number. The clerk smiled and nodded and then ducked down to open one of the glass cases.

Haru took this opportunity to approach Makoto again.

"Makoto, why are we—"

"Ah, is this the right one?" the clerk interrupted.

Haru turned to the glass counter and he froze. His heart hammered inside his chest and his eyes grew wide.

Sitting on the glass counter was a small box. And in that box was a sparkling diamond ring.

And in that box was a sparkling diamond ring.

Haru's heart was pounding in his chest and he snapped his head up to look at Makoto.

Makoto's face was flushed and a goofy smile was tugging at his lips. He raised that hand to rub his neck again and he chuckled lightly.

"That's it," Makoto answered the clerk. He turned to look at Haru, his voice quivering. "What, uh… what do you think, Haru?" Makoto asked gingerly. He sounded so small and insecure.

Haru jolted at the question and he turned his gaze at the ring once again. It was a simple ring. A single, large diamond cut into a circle on a white-gold band. It was beautiful and petite.

Just like Kanade.

"Makoto…" Haru fumbled, looking back up at his best friend. "Are you…"

His sentence trailed off when he saw Makoto smile wide.

"I, uh… wanted to get your opinion first…" Makoto said timidly. "…before I make a deposit."

Haru blinked at him before he glanced back down at the ring. He knew Makoto wasn't just asking his opinion on the ring style. Makoto knew Haru wouldn't care about that.

Makoto was asking Haru's opinion on Kanade.

He was asking if Haru thought she was worthy enough to marry his best friend.

 _What do you think, Haru?_

 _What do you think of me marrying Kanade?_

That was the hidden question behind his words.

Haru's eyes stung as his vision blurred a little, a small smile forming on his face. The ring practically screamed "Kanade." He peered up at Makoto's face and smiled.

"It's perfect," Haru said.

 _She's perfect for you._

Makoto beamed at him, his green eyes sparkling and he chuckled heartily.

"Haru, would you be my best man?"

* * *

 _One year later…_

"Now onto the next event, the men's 100m freestyle race."

"Take your places."

Haru stepped up onto the staring blocks and he turned his head to see his red-haired rival standing next to him.

His red-haired enemy.

His red-haired friend.

Rin.

Rin had his Australian swim cap on his head while Haru sported one with the Japanese flag on the side.

Rin lowered his goggles over his eyes and pulled back on the straps, releasing them with a _snap_. He turned his head to look at Haru and he gave him a playful smirk.

Haru smirked back.

"Take your marks."

Haru tensed as he bent down, his hands holding onto the edge of the starting block. He exhaled and listened intently carefully, letting his mind relax and slowing his heart to concentrate.

This was it.

The moment he his career began.

The moment he could swim forever.

 _The water is alive…_

The buzzer sounded and Haru dove off of the platform, his arms in front of him as he dolphin-kicked under the water.

 _Once you dive in, it will immediately bare its fangs and attack._

Haru reached the surface and punched through the water. He could see his competitors out of the corners of his eyes.

 _But, there's nothing to fear. Don't resist the water._

Haru calmed his nerves and focused.

 _Thrust your fingers into the surface and carve and opening._

He reached the far wall and did the turn perfectly, pushing himself off of the wall.

 _Then you slide your body through that opening. Moving your arms, your head, your chest…_

Haru could hear them.

The roar of the crowd was deafening, but he could definitely hear them.

 _"Haru-chan!"_

 _Nagisa._

Haru thrust himself forward, cutting his way through the water and flying down his lane.

 _"Haruka-senpai!"_

 _Rei._

He was almost at the finish. It was in sight.

 _"_ _ **Haru!"**_

Haru's chest tightened.

 _Makoto._

Haru slammed his hand against the wall and reared his head back, sending water droplets flying. The crowd was roaring and he could hear several chants in Japanese. He turned back to look at the board and his eyes widened in shock.

 _1st Place - Haruka Nanase_

Had he… had he really won?

And right underneath his name in second place by a split second was none other than Rin.

"Haru! _Haru!"_

Haru turned to the lane next to him and Rin was clambering over the divider to sling an arm around his neck.

"You did it, Haru!" Rin congratulated.

Haru was still in shock about it all.

Had he truly won?

" **Haru**."

Haru startled at the familiar voice.

Suddenly, a pair of hands came into view, and Rin released him. Haru looked up to see two familiar faces each extending a hand down to them. Kanade and Makoto were both wearing fond smiles and each held out a hand for him to grab.

"Nice work, Haru- _chan_ ," Kanade teased. The diamond from the ring on her finger sparkled in the sunlight.

"You truly are the fastest in the water, Haru- _chan_ ," Makoto said with his signature head-tilt smile.

Haru blinked up at them and then a small smile appeared on his face.

"I've told you both already," Haru said.

Haru reached up both of his hands and grabbed their extended hands.

"Lay off the –chan."

 **~THE END~**

* * *

6 months... Wow! What a ride!

Thank you all so much for sticking with me for so long. I can't believe this is over!

You all have truly been a blessing in my life and I can't thank you enough for your constant support through your comments, PM's, and favorites. You are the best viewers I could've asked for!

Shoutout to everyone who has stuck with me since day ONE!

Shoutout to Aquafin for your ever-so-positive spirit that got me through tough nights! I loved seeing your comments on every chapter and looked forward to hearing your feedback!

Shoutout to nikkster101, angelcarstairs467, Kiyuuni, and Savage Kill for your constant comments! Your critique and advice really helped to shape this fanfic.

I can't thank you all enough. Seriously! This year has really been tough on me and I found my escape through this. You all helped me to get through another year.

So I have more fanfic story ideas and I will be getting to work on them right away. Let me know if you have a suggestion for a fanfic! I will definitely put it into consideration.

Until next time.

Happy Reading!

~LuckE1


	51. Chapter 51

Hey, guys!

I listened to your requests for an after-story of For the Future! So I started a new story. Check it out! The title is called, "Forever Future!"

I miss you guys so much! You all are wonderful.

Happy reading!

~Lucke!


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